Being a nerd was always such a hassle, as Konrad Skinner could tell you. He was a 7-foot spindly beanpole with the biggest feet in his year at high school, getting him dubbed Bigfoot by bullies and friends alike, the latter with affection though. Especially by his old friend Anthon. Big lug graduated while he was still a Sophomore, and when he had to get a job, he just had no time to hang out anymore. Them's the breaks for an adult just getting to know the real world.

However, right now, he wasn't some green-eyed, spindly ginger with long straight hair that made girls jealous. Right now, he was The Merchant; crafty, mysterious, and subtly dangerous. He honestly had a lot of trouble with his outfit, it was really hard to get every piece just right, even if he didn't look exactly true to form.

The hooded black leather trenchcoat had to be custom made, something that took a local tailor a few days to get right according to specifications, leather was harder to work with than thick cloth after all. The underclothes were easier, since his dad had an old leather vest easily disguised as a regular shirt, and his leather pants, treated against shrinkage thank gosh, so that good episode of Seinfeld would not be happening to him. Combined with his worn black combat boots, and assorted little trinkets from all his misadventures with his friends, the rest was easy to come by save the gloves. He couldn't find good enough gloves to match the fingerless leather ones the real Merchant has, so he had to settle for some dyed-black cowhide gloves he bought at All-Mart last minute. Oh, and then to his shame, he'd gone to the con forgetting the absolute most important thing.

The huge traveling pack.

He'd totally fucking forgot one of the most absolutely crucial parts of the costume, and even considered chickening out this month and trying again next month when he was prepared. But no, a true Merchant faces his challenges head-on with guile and determination. Not all ventures turn out profitable, but that doesn't mean he shouldn't take chances!

He was quite well received regardless, but they didn't think he was THE Merchant, just A Merchant. Konrad felt quite put-off by how many con goers were all commenting and saying he must be a junior member of the “Merchant Union” and not a fully fledged one. After the twelfth or so person saying that joke, Konrad decided he'd had enough and come back next month. He paused though at a scene of a bunch of Homestuck cosplayers RPing. The big muscly guy with no shirt replacing his S syllables with Zs was especially into it.

Konrad felt like he recognized him for some reason, it wasn't until the act was over that he realized he reminded him of his old friend Anthon. Feeling a little bittersweet at the reminder of his old pal, Konrad was about to leave when he finally noticed something awesome. A vendor dressed properly as The Merchant! “Well, hello Stranger. It's good to see another fellow philanthropist among the rabble.”

Since the vendor had the slight cockney accent and the voice down-pat, Konrad felt it only respectful to play along, putting forth his own Merchant voice. “Same here. Thought there'd be nobody else here with some sense to em. Mind if I peruse your wares?”

“He, he, he. What're ya buyin'?” The Merchant asked as he gestured to his stall, but very clearly gestured to a spare travel pack, exactly like his own. Konrad's eyes widened and The Merchant chuckled, having caught his customer like he knew he would. “This here is a genuine brown leather travel pack. It'll hold all your things, and then some. Guaranteed to survive many long journeys, barring it gets slashed or shot of course. Even good leather can only last so long.”

“You know my needs too well Merchant. What's your starting price?” Konrad knew to fall out of character would be disrespectful right now, and the twinkle in The Merchant's blue (did they just flash red?) eyes and his amicable raspy chuckle told him he appreciated it.

“For you? Free, but only if you buy this.” The Merchant blindsided him with the change in offer, the pack an incentive, but the item he brought out was incredibly tantalizing. “This here modern remake of the Winchester 1887, developed by Chiappa Firearms in Italy, features a longer barrel at 28 inches, all the metals are purposely tarnished for an aged look, and the stock is stained a dark mahogany. Due to the barrel's length, unlike most shotguns, this one's meant for longer ranges, rather than indoors. With this-.” The Merchant brought up another barrel, clearly for changing out with the other. “Rifled barrel and slugs, it can even be used as a devastatingly high-caliber rifle. For the...tasteful gunman.”

“You must be kidding. Those go for 1,533 dollars. How could any con goer afford that?” Konrad was no fool when it came to guns. His dad was a gun nut and stockpiled the things in his own personal gun closet in case “shit hit the fans” as his paranoid dad would say. “Let alone there aren't any actual weapons allowed in here, security's running scans at the entrances.”

“Ah, that's the ticket though.” The Merchant replied shrewdly as he pointed out the trigger, it was removed, how'd he miss that? “Your eyes only got the big picture Stranger. Seeing a good piece can do that, but if you're gonna hit the big leagues, you gotta notice all the fine details before making a deal. Besides, this thing isn't worth much to me, I'm not a gunman myself. It came in with a bunch of props by mistake and I opted not to mention it. This thing is the genuine article though, just missing it's trigger, easily enough found at a later date. Since this isn't the full package, and I'll be making a killing with whatever price I'll get for it, I'll cut the price down to what you feel is fair, so long as you aren't trying to cheat me.”

Konrad bristled slightly. The Merchant's challenge of his integrity really ate at him, and Konrad quickly reached into his trenchcoat for his wallet, fished out all his cash, and smacked it on the table. “900 bucks. I've been saving up for this con, and I want that gun and pack enough to lay all my saved cash on them.”

“Well, generous ain't ya? Alright then. 900 for the gun, rifled barrel, and the pack.” The Merchant took the cash and put it in his lockbox behind the stall, before he handed Konrad the shotgun, barrel, and finally handed over the pack, but held onto it for a second. “Oh, and one more thing. Mind the natives. A Merchant has to be wary of his clientele after all.”

Konrad nodded, taking the words to heart as they were filled with truth. “I will, don't worry about that.” Konrad said just before he inserted the gun into the rifle holster inside his coat, the barrel in a long pocket, and shrugged on the pack. The moment the pack was on, he vanished in a flash of red light, nobody around seemed to have noticed, and The Merchant's eyes shined red with glee.

“Oh, I won't. I'm betting on it.”

[ $ ]

Konrad woke up slowly, as he always did. He was never a morning person. He groaned as he gripped his sleeping bag tighter to his-wait. “This isn't my sleeping bag...it's not this nice.” Konrad opened his eyes, and he blinked upon realizing he was apparently camped out in a deep forest somewhere. “The hell?” He wriggled his way out of the bag...well, more bedroll, and took in his surroundings and himself.

He was oddly wearing his Merchant outfit sans the pants and vest, leaving him in nothing but his coat and boxers, his gear all seemed to be stuffed into his newly acquired pack just nearby. “Alright...just what could've caused me to be kidnapped, and carted at least a state over just to be dumped in the...woods?” 'Why is my voice like The Merchant's? I'm not TRYING to do his voice!' Konrad decided to calm down, it might just be from his throat being dry, even if he didn't feel thirsty.

On instinct, Konrad reached into his coat, and took out a large canteen, which he quickly opened and took a few draws of fresh and clean water, only to spit-take to the side and look at the offending canteen in shock. “Where did I get this?!” Voice still gritty and slightly cockney, he ignored it in favor of inspecting the insides of his coat. The pockets were empty. He tentatively closed the canteen, and then slid it into one of the pockets. Where it promptly vanished. “Holy...shit...THAT'S AWESOME!”

Konrad had a few minutes of having fun pulling out and putting away the canteen with giddy joy, also getting more to drink, noting it seemed to refill when he put it away and brought it out again. However, the can-trip lost it's novelty, and Konrad finally decided to get his shit together and gear up. Once fully suited, also properly masked and everything, he felt...right. Whole.

“This shit's getting weird, but I can appreciate a hammerspace trenchcoat. I'm like Inspector Gadget or something. Only without the...I don't right?” Conrad looked at his hands, and held his left one out. “Go, Go, Gadget Rocket Hand!” After laughing for a second, Konrad screamed in agony as his hand seemed to sever at the wrist, spraying blood everywhere as a prehensile tendril of tender rubbery bloodied flesh connected between his hand and his bleeding stump shot out and grabbed onto the tree he'd aimed at. “AH~! FUCK! WHAT IS THAT?!”

While Konrad freaked out, the thin tendril was losing tension and retracted back into his arm painfully, dragging his hand back towards his stump through the air until they connected again. He looked at it in fear as he watched his flesh visibly knit back together, and soon was back to normal like nothing happened. Konrad ripped off his glove and rolled up his heavy sleeve to see his arm was whole and unblemished save the blood still on his skin. And he KNEW what that was.

“No...no, no, No, NO!” Konrad screamed in denial as he ran through the forest, listening for a water source, and he was rewarded by the sound of a small waterfall, which he then changed direction towards. He found a small lake that was fed by a small waterfall at the top of a low cliff, and he quickly looked at his reflection to see his eyes were red. GLOWING red. “Plaga...I'm fucking infected with Plaga! Considering what that just was...I'm infected with Dominant Species Plaga. So...at least I don't have to worry about becoming a mindless carrier and infecting absolutely everyone I come across.”

Konrad decided he'd be fine here for a while, and set up camp. He wasn't putting up with this right now.

[ $ ]

Konrad had troubled dreams, having nightmares of Plaga bursting out of his head or chest, only the perspective was from the parasite rather than the host. Each time he woke screaming, whimpering. Whatever that swindler did to him was terrifying him. None of this was possible.

He managed to get enough sleep however, but he was fully awoken come early morning by the sounds of shouting, the clashing of metal, and the death knells. He couldn't see it through the low fog that had rolled in overnight, chilling the air, and it was muffled by distance and flora. However, rather than pack up and leave...Konrad had the strangest sensation. He felt...drawn to it. He didn't know why, he wasn't sure how either, but he felt...he had something to gain from this...an Opportunity. Konrad's burning red eyes shined bright, and a dark grin stretched on his lips, a faint predatory hiss crawling up his throat.

He promptly got himself packed and equipped, even taking out the Chiappa, which he noticed with surprise had it's trigger, and was loaded with buckshot. 'I'll figure out my coat's abilities later, I've got a deal to make.' Konrad let the pulling sensation of the unseen battlefield draw him closer until it sounded like the battle had dwindled into a skirmish, then a slaughter, and after a rousing roar of victory from whatever side won, he heard horns blare off in the distance way, way off from his destination, and the winners promptly departed, clearly in a hurry if they didn't stop to loot or execute the battlefield. 'Jackpot!'

Konrad, the nerd that he was, knew that wherever he was, or whenever he was, (he wasn't going to doubt time travel as a possibility at this point) it was likely as far back as the bronze age, or as late as early renaissance if such a battle was taking place. Konrad's suspicions were more-or-less confirmed when he left the treeline to find a foggy field filled with fresh corpses, broken melee weapons, and many other things he couldn't clearly make out in the low fog obscuring the ground. However, the looting would have to wait; his instincts drew him towards a small pile of corpses, and he immediately used his Chiappa's barrel to nudge the top corpse off in a roll, revealing that the one under it had still been breathing, even if weakly. “Hello, Stranger.”

Konrad barely even considered the oddity that this person had green skin, and an anthropomorphic face. Now that he bothered to notice anything aside from his odd impulse to seek this person out, all the other bodies here were humanoid, but had animal characteristics. “*cough* Who...please...help....” The soldier begged with a wet cough, some blood dripped from his lips. “A potion...please...my lungs....”

“Oh, you mean-” Konrad held his shotgun to his shoulder, and reached into his coat with his left hand, and pulled out a small vial of bright red opaque liquid. “This potion?”

“Th-thank you.” The soldier reached a brown leather gauntleted hand out for it, but Konrad held it away.

“Ah-ah! Careful now. Best I do it. Consider this a free service.” Konrad smirked under his bandanna as he knelt down and set aside his Chiappa to uncork the vial and pour it into the dying soldier's mouth. 'And there, debt, sealed.' Konrad's eyes flashed, and the soldier's eyes flashed as well while he took a deep breath, and released a sigh of relief.

“Thank you kind sir. I am indebted to you. Even if the potion was pilfered from one of my fallen fellows.” Konrad blinked in surprise at the comment, before he noticed an emblem etched onto the side of the vial, one of a sun and moon merged at half within a shield. “I am-.”

“Ah! No! No names!” 'Huh? Where'd that come from?' “In my business, it is better to remain anonymous. Besides, with the conditions of things, knowing your name won't do me much good, regardless of your station. If you must...call me Avarice the Merchant, or simply Merchant will do.” 'What the hell? I'm not the one saying this!'

{Just shut up Rookie, I'll handle things.}

The soldier grunted as he stood up, the potion having done it's work, and he quickly removed his simple golden bronze cuirass, since the chest was indented, clearly he'd taken a hammer blow which broke his ribs and punctured his lungs. He was lucky he didn't drown before Konrad got to him. “Well then...Merchant. Just call me Corporal then. A simple soldier in service to her majesties Princess Celestia and Princess Luna in the defense of the realm against the Griffonians and the Bullgarians. We'd just happened upon a party of minotaur barbarians crossing our borders and engaged. I took a warhammer to the chest, and was left for dead. I don't blame them. That horn in the distance was another patrol calling in distress. Living before the possibly dead I say.”

“Loyal eh? Then you must know more information about current events than the average folk. How about this; in exchange for having saved your life, you pay me in information.” 'Hey, that's smart.'

{Remember Rookie; Information is the most valuable thing. It is worth both nothing, yet anything to the right people. Right now; he's got the upper hand. He could feed us complete hogwash and we'd be none-the-wiser. I'm holding saving his life over his head as leverage. If he has any honor, he'll comply.}

“Well, you're rather a shady person. What with you here in the middle of a battlefield when you seem unarmed save that odd stick of yours. But...you did save my life. Very well, what would you like to know?”

[ $ ]

“Thank you for your business. I hope fortune favors you Corporal.” Merchant said to the green anthro earth pony soldier, who glumly nodded in response as he finished putting on some looted equipment from his fallen fellows, and rushed off in the direction he remembered the distress horn having sounded and where he heard his surviving patrol members had run off in. 'That was...distressingly educational.'

{Yep, welcome to Equestria Rookie.}

The Merchant, or rather, the persona Konrad referred to as Avarice, as it wasn't really him, moved about the battlefield, stripping every poor passed-on pony and minotaur of practically everything, and shoving them in his coat while Konrad came to grips with what he'd learned.

He was in an alternate dimension entirely for one, in a land known as Equestria, right on the border with Bullgaria in fact, a country they're at war with. Currently, Equestria was at war on two fronts, with the Bullgarians at their southeast and the Griffonians from the east along the coast by sea. Princess Celestia was focused on the defense and naval campaigns against Griffonia, while Princess Luna was in charge of the land forces holding the border and striking into enemy territory. Corporal couldn't give him much on their intended strategies, but he speculated that while Celestia wished to weaken Griffonia and possibly negotiate peace, Luna intended to possibly annex Bullgaria, make them pay for their transgressions.

The other neighboring nations were mostly neutral, but Equestria was receiving both financial and military aid from Saddle Arabia, as they are loyal to the Diarchs of Equestria entirely based on the fact that their nation was founded with blessings and aid from the sisters. They couldn't directly control their forces however, since they were even further from the fighting as they were along Equestria's southwest border with inhospitable terrain of badlands and volcanic wastes between them and Bullgaria, so they had to essentially focus entirely on aiding Luna's forces along the border so Equestria's soldiers could penetrate the country proper.

That was most of what they could gather from Corporal without seeming too suspicious, as they could state ignorance of current events on them having nomadic tendencies, they had no plausible excuse for even asking what he was, let alone anything else considered general knowledge. Avarice had finished looting literally everything from the battlefield as the sun rose to mid-morning, including all the broken weapons and damaged armor. Konrad agreed with the action since he could work with them. He was taught how to do several things analogous to smithing and handicrafts thanks to being a former member of the boy scouts and his dad's obsession of being prepared for just about anything.

That hit Konrad hard for a second. He'd likely never see his family or friends again. He'd never get to play videogames again! 'I...need some time to accept what's happened. I'll go over my gains and other such things after I've made tracks. Don't want the army catching up and arresting me for looting.' Konrad looked at the sun, and assuming it rose and set in the same general directions as Earth, then...he began walking with the sun at an angle to his rear-right, facing northwest into Equestria.

[ ? ]

“So you don't even know anything about his appearance?” Luna asked seriously, the green Corporal was standing before her in salute, still in armor, his short cropped gray hair still a mess from the action earlier today, his gray eyes equally a mess from exhaustion in catching up with his patrol, aiding them and another patrol, and finally the march back. He was brought before the Princess for his own report, since he'd barely survived he was supposed to be taken off duty to recover from phantom pain and psychological damage, and she wanted to know how he'd survived before shipping him home for a month.

“No your Majesty. Avarice the Merchant was, as I had stated, covered head to hoof in obscuring black leather. I could only see his eyes milady, and...I thought I was looking the Warden in the eyes. His glowing red irises ensnared me. I was...compelled to do as he requested and answer his demand for information on current events. I understand after thinking it over but...it was payment as he said. I owed him for saving my life, and he accepted my words to be his price. He truly was a Merchant...it was a deal.” Corporal stated, seeming to drift off when he thought to hard on it, but he focused when Luna's horn glowed a light blue and his eyes did as well. “I'm sorry. I'm...not really....”

“You are still under influence, even after the deal was complete...do you still feel indebted to him Corporal?” 'What sorcery is this? What entity could impel someone to their services?' Luna was sat behind her spartan wood desk, in her spartan wood office in the outpost near the Bullgarian border. She was what more lecherous people would call an amazon, what with her staggering 7-foot height and generously curvacious body combined with impressive and lean toned muscles often conservatively protected by her black armor, she cut an intimidating figure only surpassed by her sister. She just happened to be visiting as she was headed on campaign to take one of the enemy country's closest cities, and the story that Corporal Moss had told caught her attention.

“Y-yes milady. I still owe him my life...even if he believes my debt is settled I still don't feel that is so....” Moss said sadly, his ears pinned back in worry. He owed Avarice, he couldn't deny it, but such debt literally binds him to the Merchant. What could possibly free him?

“Corporal, your moral standing is impressive, your sense of duty inspiring. Do not belittle yourself. You are dismissed. Pack your bags for the trip home, you need rest.” Luna ordered, gesturing for him to leave, and the corporal did so but he was visibly saddened. “Whoever you are...you hurt one of My Little Ponies, even if you did save his life.” Luna sighed before she pinched the bridge of her snout with her left hand, while running her fingers through her long ethereal mane to get it to stop flowing to the side. “Sergeant.”

“Yes Ma'am?” The yellow unicorn stallion with slightly better equipment than the corporal's that stood next to the door saluted.

“Get a hunting party together. I don't want someone with such disturbing powers running about our country. I'd rather him in chains, but if he is proven to be endangering anyone, you have my permission to put him down if he resists capture.” Luna then gestured for him to leave, and the sergeant did so with no further words as Luna began to write a couple of letters. “I hope sister or Star Swirl have any idea as to what sorcery this man possesses.”

[ $ ]

“This. Is. So cool.” Konrad grinned as he moved a warhammer in and out of his coat, the thing was weightless so long as it didn't fully leave his coat's access to his hammerspace, which was bound to the coat and pack. 'Pfft...hammerspace.'

{Oh, stop acting like a child.} Konrad was still on the move, his essentially dead body not feeling any strain from a constant brisk walk for pretty much the whole day since he woke up. Yes, he still needed sleep and food, just not as much. He'd already put two days of walking between him and where he'd gotten info out of Corporal, and had yet to come across any form of civilization. He knew he was at the border back then, but just how much distance is there between the border and the nearest border town?

{Get to cover.} Konrad listened to his alter ego's order promptly, dashing into a tall series of bushes and getting deep into them, hoping he didn't leave much evidence of his hurried dash. Avarice, who now shared his head was incredibly helpful and intent on keeping them alive for obvious reasons. He said he was little more than a sort of defense mechanism inserted in his psyche along with all the other crazy things The Merchant himself did by sending him here.

Konrad was glad he listened to Avarice once again, as a trio of winged anthro stallions all swooped down below the canopy of the woods they were currently in. One knelt down where he'd been, and looked in his direction. He was in deep and the leaves covered him fully, hiding him from sight. After the tracker had informed his companions their new heading, they took to the air and flew in the direction he'd have been going had he not hid in the bushes. 'Shit, they have flying people here?!'

{Those looked to be ponies, so they've got pegasi here then. Let's assume there're unicorns too and all manner of mythical creatures.}

'Good idea, fortune favors the prepared, but luck favors the wary.'

Konrad then left the bushes, and sprinted in his chosen direction, trying to leave as little proof of his heading by stepping on hardier grasses and going in odd directions now and then, while also taking short breaks to restore his body's needed oxygen by hiding in bushes and tall grass. Only twice more did he barely run afoul of his pursuers, each time they became more irritated with his obvious attempts to delay them, until he finally came across a river and let it sweep him downstream westward before he crossed on the other side. He didn't see them again.

{Excellent work Rookie. You've got some talent.}

'Boy scouts, boot camp, dad was way too insistent on me being prepared for the worst. Really fucking glad for it now.' Konrad thought with a grin, even as he felt sad about this whole situation again.

After that bit of excitement of evading the trackers, Konrad continued on for a couple more days before he finally found a village. It was little more than a few large communal homes, an inn, and a couple farms along with an old fashioned lumber mill next to a river probably connected to the one he'd crossed a few days ago. This must be one of the most border of border villages, since the standing soldier presence was as lax as barely a single guard per road through, which to say, the two guards at either end of the small cluster of log buildings on the only road through, which in fact, ended in the direction he came from, meaning this place was the end of the road of Equestria in the southeast.

'So, how do we approach this?'

{Alright Rookie, I'm going to let you take the reins. My only advice is to act natural.}

'Okay, natural...you do realize that, aside from being from an alternate dimension, I'm an entirely different species, AND I'm from a much, much more modern era than this place is in? Normal for me is...crazy to them.'

{Then play that to your strengths. Be eccentric, be subtly dangerous, but not conspiratorially so.}

'Alright then, let's go.'

Konrad then calmly and nonchalantly exited his cover as casually as possible, even having his hands in his pockets on the sides of the coat. The brick red earth pony guard with orange eyes and similarly colored short-cropped tail, wearing the same simple bronze and leather armor as Corporal had tensed at seeing him approach, especially from the direction he had. “Halt! What business have you in Dock End?”

Konrad simply continued to approach until he was within conversation distance, the guard glad he'd at least stopped at a reasonable distance. “Hello, Stranger....”

Author's Notes:

Edited, if anyone spots any errors I missed, please be a sport and point them out.