Four days had passed since Hearth's Warming Eve, and morning over Ponyville had dawned with a brisk chill that made the lungs tingle. The town was painted white from the previous week's anticipatory snowfall, and the streets were filled with ponies starting their daily enterprises, eager to make up for the holiday-shortened work week. The wan winter sun sluggishly climbed towards its zenith as the laughter and shouts of foals playing in the winter wonderland intertwined with the industrious noises of the adults in that strangely harmonic symphony of life.

For eight ponies and a baby dragon, however, life in Ponyville was about to get a little more interesting...

On the western outskirts of Ponyville stood an old farm that had been there since the town's founding. Despite the age of the farm, the buildings were all relatively new, and freshly painted a red as bright as the apples that the residents cultivated. The centerpiece of the farm consisted of a large barn that housed said residents – an orange-coated earth pony mare named Applejack; her older brother, Big McIntosh; her younger sister, Apple Bloom; and the Apple family matriarch, Granny Smith.

Beyond its status as the site of Ponyville's beginnings, Sweet Apple Acres held the distinction of being one of the most productive farms in Equestria, largely due to the care that the Apple family put into running the place. In addition to the apples and apple accessories the farm was associated with, it also produced bountiful harvests of corn, squash, cabbage, and a few other pony dietary staples. By itself, the Acres accounted for roughly thirty-five percent of Ponyville's food supply, and this alone was usually enough to keep the farm afloat even during lean years.

That fateful morning, in the waning days of the twelve-hundred and second year since the founding of Equestria, Applejack and her brother were mulling over numerous wooden barrels in a modest cellar near the northern edge of the zap apple orchard. For his part, the red-coated stallion would jab his left foreleg at each of the barrels in a column in rapid succession, taking an inventory of the type and condition of each barrel before going over to the western cellar wall and making appropriate notations on the parchment pinned there. Each time he did so, Applejack would trot to the next column of barrels, casting an appraising eye over each one and stopping every so often to sniff at a particular barrel or to give an offending barrel a gentle tap in specific locations with her right forehoof.

Even though the process for these particular barrels was a fair bit more involved than that of ordinary cider, the modest size of the task coupled with the efficient work of the duo meant that after only fifteen minutes, every last barrel in the cellar had been inspected and catalogued. Their task finished, the two ponies made their way over to the stairs and began their ascent back into daylight. Applejack turned to her brother with a twinkle in her eyes.

“Well, Big Mac, it looks like the Zap Apple Cider back there is almost ready,” she said as they emerged from the darkness below. The dirt path upon which they were walking caused the sound of their hoofsteps to soften. Applejack's eyes lit up like a foal on Hearth's Warming Eve with the next words out of her mouth. “And good thing, too. Pinkie's puttin' together one humdinger of a New Year's Eve party, and I'm bettin' that our cider will go over like a wildfire in a dry field. Why, I dare say that this is the best idea we've had in a generation!” Her expression darkened considerably all of a sudden. “I just wish it hadn't taken those two no-good snake oil-sellin' charlatans tryin' to run us out of Ponyville to come up with it.”

Trotting on the familiar path that he had taken many times since he was a colt, Big Mac watched his sister out of the corner of his eyes. The range of emotions she'd just expressed provoked a knowing smile on his muzzle. “Eeyup,” he replied.

Big Mac was like that – often expressing a paragraph's worth of meaning in just one word.

“And just think,” his sister said, “If this pans out like we think, we could sell enough of the remainder to keep the farm afloat for years to come!” A thought occurred to her, and she chuckled heartily in response. “I can just imagine the look on Twi's face when she hears that we're experimentin' with the zap apples.”

An errant wind rustled the nearby trees as Big Mac took a moment to reflect on the mental image that statement produced, his agile tongue shifting the wheat stalk from one side of his mouth to the other. He found himself having to suppress a chuckle at the resulting visuals. “Eeyup,” was all he said.

By this point, the snow-covered apple trees lining the fields were starting to thin out, and the Apple family residence came into view. Here, the path diverged into two: one road lead to the barn they called “home,” and the other was bound for the trellised gate of Sweet Apple Acres and beyond it, Ponyville proper. Applejack turned to her brother as she made for the road leading away from the farm.

“I'm gonna go get those supplies we talked about earlier,” she said, turning her head to face him. “Be sure to let Apple Bloom know that Rarity will be by later this afternoon to pick her up for the Crusaders' sleepover.”

Once more the laconic reply issued forth from Big Mac's mouth: “Eeyup.” He then turned for home, where the rest of his morning chores awaited.

Applejack watched the receding form of her brother for a few moments with a content smile on her face before continuing on her way to the front gate. Once there, she secured her saddlebags to her body and cantered off towards town, secure in the knowledge that nothing unusual was going to happen that day.

Just east of Ponyville's town hall, the towering spire that held the Ponyville Weather Patrol Station rose to an impressive height, looking every inch as though it was trying to pierce the heavens. It also happened to be Rainbow Dash's destination as she winged her way through the skies above Ponyville. Always the daredevil, Dash took time to smell the proverbial roses during final approach, which naturally meant performing ridiculously difficult twists, turns, and aerobatic stunts that left little margin for error.

Three times during the home stretch, she narrowly averted disaster while buzzing the rooftops. The fourth time, however, she wasn't so lucky. Lining up for her last trick – a triple barrel roll through the open windows of the top floor of the Weather Patrol Station that lead into an immediate Immelmare turn, finishing by swinging her body one-hundred eighty degrees to land backwards on the rooftop platform – she miscalculated the timing of the last barrel roll and smashed into the ceiling of the top floor. Fortunately for her, years of pushing the envelope had hardened her body, and she was only shaken up for a few moments. She was just shaking off the last of the cobwebs as twin pegasi with lilac coats and teal-gray manes trotted over to check on her.

“Goodness,” said the younger mare, Flitter. Her mane was neatly styled and adorned with a bow. “Are you okay, Boss?”

“I've hurt worse,” Rainbow groaned. She glanced up at her impact point, noticing the vaguely pegasus-shaped spiderweb of cracks in the drywall. “Wish I could say the same about the ceiling, though.” She chuckled sheepishly.

“Yeah, maybe you ought to consider a somewhat safer location for your practice sessions,” Cloudchaser, Flitter's spiky-maned sister, replied.

Dash pondered the suggestion for a moment, then let out a modestly heavy sigh. “I suppose you're right,” she grumbled. She was preparing to get to her hooves when Flitter dropped a bombshell on her.

“There's something you should know before you go downstairs, Boss. Raindrops is waiting in your office with the mid-morning report,” she said, hesitating slightly. Dash let out an exasperated huff and waved a hoof for her to continue. “You might want to be careful around her today. She's rather put out, and won't say why.”

Dash briefly considered beating a strategic retreat and spending the rest of the day in bed. While Raindrops wasn't prone to flying off the handle without provocation, the morning shift manager's temper was a force to be reckoned with. Seeing her on a tear could give even the mighty Rainbow Dash pause. But only momentarily. Dash had a reputation to uphold, after all; it wouldn't do to let a subordinate run roughshod over her. Besides, she thought, I made enough noise to wake the dead with that crash. It'd be impossible for Raindrops to miss my arrival. She'll be expecting me. And so, she quickly discarded her initial response in favor of one more appropriate to her awesomeness.

“Raindrops is always –” Dash waved a hoof dismissively “– put out. Still, I guess I better go down and see what's eating her.” She squared her shoulders and lithely leaped over the rail, her wings flapping to slow her fall with the practiced ease of a trained athlete. By the time she made contact with the ground a hundred feet below, it was on silent, graceful hooves. Without pause, she trotted into the open doorway that led to her office.

Closing the office door with a deft movement of her left hind leg, Rainbow Dash took a moment to assess the state of her little “fiefdom,” as her predecessor, Blazing Glory, liked to refer to it. It was a fairly impressive layout. From the dusty credenza on the eastern wall that currently housed Dash's stash of inappropriate Daring Do fanfiction, to the water cooler in the corner (the contents of which were currently literally indispensable because Dash had forgotten to purchase more disposable drinking cups), to the row of half-full filing cabinets in the back of the office, everything about the room screamed, “THIS IS WHERE IMPORTANT STUFF GETS DONE.”

In the center of it all was Dash's desk, currently buried beneath an aeronautical chart of Ponyville proper and a pile of paperwork that she still needed to sort through – some of which was more than a week old. I really should get Cloud Kicker to help me with this stuff, she thought. Overall, the office was still in good working order, which was to be expected, despite the grouchy disposition of the room's other occupant. Even at her most livid state, Raindrops preferred to buck random unoffending trees into the ground on the outskirts of town than go on a table-flipping rampage in the office.

Nevertheless, Rainbow finished her inspection in less than a second and turned her attention to the mare in question just as Raindrops was focusing her ire on her tardy boss. The jasmine-coated pegasus sat stonily in the guest chair in front of Dash's desk, ears flattened, eyes narrowed, and wings aggressively flared. Visibly restraining herself, Raindrops growled, “Took you long enough, Boss.”

Dash rolled her eyes as she took her own seat at her desk. “Well, good morning to you, too, sunshine,” was her flippant reply. “Now, what burr's gotten under your saddle?”

Releasing a heavy sigh, Raindrops fought to regain her composure. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. After a moment of concentration, the meditation techniques she'd been taught began to kick in. In her mind's eye, she was flying through a gentle rainstorm, letting the rain wash away her stress. Her efforts paid off, and when she opened her eyes, she was much calmer than when she had first entered Dash's office.

Letting a devilish grin settle on her muzzle, Raindrops replied, “Well, as fun as it is fantasizing about getting your job via the ancient griffon promotion system, I'd much rather do it the old-fashioned way and earn it.”

Rainbow glared at Raindrops. “Don't get cute with me. Besides, I'm no closer to understanding why you're upset than when I got here.”

Sighing again, Raindrops gave her boss a flat stare. “Cloud Kicker went AWOL this morning. Again. So, in addition to having to do both my job and yours, I also had to do hers.” She shook her head in disappointment. “I swear to Celestia, sometimes it feels like I'm the only thing standing between Ponyville and meteorological catastrophe. You'd think I'd at least get pay and benefits commensurate with the responsibility.”

Dash couldn't help chuckling a bit at her subordinate's attempt at humor, even if her anger was misplaced this time. “So, am I correct in assuming that you think she overdid it on the partying again?” At Raindrops' affirmative grunt, she nodded in acknowledgment and continued, “Well, as much as I'd like to do something about that, I can't for two reasons. One, you and I both know that she's been doing much better about not letting her 'playtime' interfere with her work. She hasn't reported in hungover in over a year.”

“And the second reason?” Raindrops asked.

“The second reason is that this time CK actually has a legit reason for her absence.” Raindrops quizzically raised an eyebrow at this and opened her mouth to respond, but Dash raised a hoof to forestall the incoming objection. “She got called out of town on a family emergency. She'll be in Cloudsdale for at least a week.”

Raindrops buried her face in a hoof and let out a loud groan of frustration. “Why doesn't anypony ever tell me these things?” she seethed.

Rainbow Dash sighed. “That's my fault, actually. I meant to tell you yesterday, but by the time I remembered, you had already finished your shift and gone home for the day. Sorry.” Judging by the resigned expression she was wearing, Raindrops seemed satisfied by this. Nevertheless, Dash decided to go one step further in repairing the breach. She walked around her desk and draped a comforting wing across Raindrops' withers. “If anything, Raindrops, I'm glad I have somepony as reliable as you to pick up the pieces if need be.”

And in that moment, the atmospheric tension fled the room with the alacrity of the Flim Flam Brothers upon finding themselves at a business ethics seminar. A genuine smile formed on her lips as Raindrops replied, “Thanks, Boss.” She paused for a moment, then started upon remembering the other reason she was here. “Almost forgot. The morning team is slightly ahead of schedule on today's weather. Star Hunter and Medley are bringing in the last of the nimbostratus pannus clouds as we speak. We should be ready for the reinforcing snowfall by the time the afternoon shift takes over.”

“Awesome. I'll let Thunderlane know so that he can prepare his team to let it snow later this afternoon.” Rainbow spared a questioning glance at Raindrops. “Is there anything else you wish to tell me?” When Raindrops shook her head, Dash continued, “Okay, then. I'll let you get back to leading your team.”

Raindrops nodded and got up to walk to the door. She had one hoof out the door when Dash's voice stopped her in her tracks.

“One last thing before you leave. Seeing as how the Wonderbolts are gearing up to expand their numbers, I was thinking about starting a training class for anypony who's considering trying out. I figured that since we're both fans, and you're a halfway decent flier –” Raindrops adopted an outraged expression, to which Dash responded with a smug grin “– I figured I'd let you be the first to know. I want Ponyville's pegasi to dominate that first recruiting class, and you could certainly help me do it. Are you game?”

If Raindrops' wide grin and wider eyes could be harnessed for electric power, it would light up Manehatten, Las Pegasus, Baltimare, and Fillydelphia for a whole year. “A chance to make sure I'm as ready as I can be for the opportunity of a lifetime? You bet I'm game, Boss!” She punctuated this by giving Rainbow Dash a friendly hip check that staggered her momentarily.

Smirking, Dash returned the favor, though her efforts were noticeably less effective against the slightly larger, more powerfully built mare. “Good. You're dismissed. Go help your team finish up, and then you can clock out early if you wish.”

“Thanks, Boss!” Raindrops called as she practically flew out of the office.

Still smiling, Rainbow returned to her backlog of paperwork. It only took a few minutes of approving reports and signing payroll forms for her to start fidgeting restlessly in her seat. She went over to the credenza and shuffled through her attempts at literature, a lazy smile playing across her muzzle as images of some of the more smutty scenes danced through her mind. Then she frowned, remembering that she couldn't be caught with such illicit material – most of her co-workers would laugh at her for her choice of porn, while the more literary-minded among them would shudder at the atrociously bad wish fulfillment contained within.

Putting the parchment back in a hidden compartment, she wandered over to the water cooler, only to bury her face in her hoof as she remembered why the water had been at the same level for the last two days. Denied any further opportunities for procrastination, she returned to her desk and started aimlessly pushing paper around. She managed to fill out one more cloud requisition form for dispatch to the central weather factory in Cloudsdale before restlessness set in again. Ugh. I'll bet Spitfire never has to bother with mindless busywork.

The more she thought about it, the more restless she became, until she finally reached her breaking point. Screw it, she thought, if I don't get out of here right now, I'm going to die of boredom!

And so, with gritted teeth and a loud groan, she pointedly dropped the quill onto her desk and stomped out into the foyer, telling the receptionist that she was going to be out of the office for a few hours. She then winged her way back up to the observation dome that she'd crashed into earlier. Once she was back on the balcony outside, she bent her legs, gave her wings a few test flaps, and zoomed off into the sky with a rainbow trail flowing behind her. Settling into a comfortable cruising altitude and speed, she began her patrol, determined to ensure that nothing unusual would happen that day. (And even if something unusual did happen, she was confident that she could whoop its rump in a totally awesome manner.)

The Ponyville Day Spa, despite being situated on the northern edge of the marketplace, was nearly dead that morning. The owners, a pair of earth ponies named Aloe and Lotus, were not surprised by that fact, however. It was a Monday morning, after all. Despite their mild disappointment at the loss of revenue the slow business day implied, they couldn't complain too much: they still managed to make ends meet on such days, and the idle time gave them a chance to catch up on their account books and take stock of inventory.

Presently, the only ponies patronizing the place were Aloe and Lotus's favorite regular customers: a pegasus with a butter yellow coat and pink mane and tail, and her friend – an alabaster unicorn whose royal purple mane and tail were coiffed in luxurious curls. The two mares were in the midst of the final portion of their usual spa treatment – a hooficure for both, and a horn-filing for the unicorn.

Rarity closed her eyes and sighed in contentment as Lotus expertly sanded away the rough spots on her horn, the rhythmic sawing of the specially-designed rasp lulling her into near catatonia. These weekly spa treatments were just the thing she needed to give her the clarity of mind to create the stunning works of art that ponies from all walks of life would die for the chance to wear. An added benefit of the treatment, of course, was that it always managed to melt away whatever stress the weekend's rest had failed to ameliorate. As a result, Rarity almost never came back to her boutique with “a case of the Mondays,” as Pinkie Pie liked to refer to it.

For her part, Fluttershy had been having second thoughts about the hooficure. She had always demurred on that part of her spa package on their previous visits – the grating sound of file-on-keratin always unnerved her, and she lived in stark terror that the rasp might slip and take off way too much. It was an admittedly ridiculous worry, but one that still haunted her mind every time she set hoof inside the building. Her unicorn friend, however, had managed to be extra persuasive this time. Before entering the spa an hour earlier, Rarity had Pinkie Promised that Fluttershy had nothing to worry about, even going so far as to offer to make a series of outfits for the animals that she cared for in an effort to seal the deal. Reflecting upon this, Fluttershy ultimately decided to just lay down and think of Equestria during the ordeal.

It turned out to be not nearly as painful as she had feared, for Aloe was just as masterful as her twin sister at the art of spa treatments. In fact, in an odd sort of way, she was actually beginning to enjoy the peculiar sensations as her hooves were filed to a level that enhanced her natural beauty.

Rarity chose this moment to open one eye to see how her friend was doing. A sly smirk slipped onto her lips when she caught a glimpse of the tentative expression of happiness adorning the other mare's muzzle. “See, darling? I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

Fluttershy's wings fluttered briefly as she was startled from her reverie, then her lips curled in a sheepish grin. “I suppose you're right, Rarity. I'm sorry I doubted you.”

Rarity waved a dismissive hoof. “It's quite alright, dear. Now wouldn't you agree that this has been a lovely outing at the spa this morning?”

“Oh, yes. Quite.” Whatever else Fluttershy was going to say died out as a barely-stifled yawn escaped her maw.

Said yawn failed to escape the fashionista's notice, however. “Goodness, Fluttershy. Have you been getting enough sleep lately?”

Fluttershy paused for a few moments, furrowing her eyebrows as an uncertain frown formed on her face. She still wasn't entirely sure that what she'd seen was real, despite the same events happening the same way over the last few nights. Who'd believe her anyway? She was the timid one, so folks would just assume she was hiding from her own shadow again.

But then she noticed the concerned look her friend was giving her. She sighed. If there was one pony she could confide in, it'd be Rarity. She'd never known the mare to judge her harshly, even if she sometimes felt that her fears were unfounded. It was one of the things that made her glad to have Rarity as one of her best friends. As much as she liked Rainbow Dash, her fellow pegasus could be a bit lacking in the patience and tolerance department, to put it mildly.

With this in mind, Fluttershy gave her reply. “Not really. You see, it all started the day after Hearth's Warming Eve. I was feeding my chickens their midnight snack wh-”

“You feed your chickens at midnight?” Rarity couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at this.

“Well, yes. I just couldn't stand to let the poor things starve, now could I?”

Rarity fixed her friend with a level stare. As much as she wanted to call Fluttershy out on this, she knew she was hardly in a position to do so. After all, she fed Opalescence quite frequently – perhaps a bit too frequently, now that she thought about it. The finicky feline could probably stand to go on a bit of a diet. She shook her head to wipe away the thought. It was a distraction from the main thrust of the conversation. Waving a hoof, she urged Fluttershy to continue.

“Anyway, I was feeding my chickens when I happened to look up, and saw something flying through the air towards the Everfree Forest. It was dark, so I couldn't be sure, but I think it was Princess Luna.”

“Princess Luna? Are you sure?” was Rarity's skeptical response.

“Pretty sure. Unless you happen to know any other dark blue alicorns with ethereal manes and tails, that is.”

Rarity blinked owlishly. Did Fluttershy just... snark at me? She shook her head, dismissing the notion as preposterous. Before she could think further on it, though, Aloe and Lotus stepped back and gestured for the two to come down from the hooficure station. As the four ponies walked back up to the front desk, Rarity prompted Fluttershy to continue her tale.

“So, what happened next?”

“I didn't think much of it at the time. I just figured that she was doing it as part of her duties as guardian of the night. But then it happened again the next night, and the next as well.” Fluttershy frowned as she remembered the details. “Once I noticed a pattern, I started staying up to see if I could tell if there was a purpose to her nightly visits. Last night was the fifth time in three days that I'd seen her go into the forest, and each time she seemed to be heading in the same direction – towards the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.”

“You really mean that?”

Fluttershy nodded. “I do. In fact, I think something may have happened there, because when she left the forest at about four this morning, she was levitating something in a minotaur-sized bodybag.”

Now it was Rarity's turn to frown. “Well, as unusual a circumstance as that seems, I'm sure Princess Luna has her reasons for trying to be secretive about it.” She gave Fluttershy a reassuring pat on the shoulder before levitating a small pile of bits – enough to cover both her and Fluttershy's expenses – over to Aloe and Lotus, who gratefully took it and placed it in the till.

As they walked out into the late morning sunshine, Fluttershy yawned again. “Well, I just hope that the princesses will let Twilight tell us what's going on. As much as I fear what it means, I'd hate to be left in the dark.”

Rarity smiled. “Me too, Fluttershy. Now, why don't you go home and get some rest, dear? You've certainly earned it.”

The two mares exchanged a friendly nuzzle before going their separate ways. One was still cautiously optimistic that her friend had been wrong, and nothing unusual was going to happen that day. The other, however, feared that something unusual had indeed happened that day.

The morning rush at Sugarcube Corner had just ended, and the din of the crowd of ponies who had availed themselves of the bakery's breakfast options was beginning to die down as customers finished their meals and departed. The only table in use at the moment was occupied by a trio of earth ponies wearing hard hats and bright orange reflective vests who were lingering over the dregs staining the bottom of their coffee mugs and engaged in idle conversation. A solid blue earth pony mare busied herself with busing the nearby tables, waiting patiently for the construction crew to finish up and follow their fellows out the door.

Eventually, the three stallions excused themselves with a polite tip of their hats to the mare, who gave them a genuine smile as she thanked them for their patronage. With a sigh of relief, she cleaned their table as well before returning to the front counter to await the next customer.

Although the proprietors relished the lull as an opportunity to start on various catering orders and prepare for the lunch rush, their sole employee felt otherwise. To be sure, Pinkie Pie loved baking. However, she loved interacting with the customers much more. As Ponyville's premier party pony, being a social butterfly came naturally to Pinkie – it was how she'd gotten her cutie mark, after all.

Nevertheless, baking was Pinkie's second love, and it was because of this that she was engaged in an epic enterprise deep in the bowels of the kitchen: baking her fourth batch of cupcakes for the morning. Or at least, it would've been her fourth batch of cupcakes: two of the batches mysteriously found themselves on a trip through her digestive system – the victims of the pink mare's “quality control” methods. She had just finished pulling the latest batch out of the oven and placing it on the nearby countertop when she found herself in the grips of a massive shock to her Pinkie Sense.

The average outsider would be forgiven for galloping off in search of a doctor under the impression that Pinkie was suffering from a grand mal seizure. After all, they didn't know how the Pinkie Sense worked. Pinkie herself was sometimes puzzled by her gift: the seeming random twinges and shudders had first started about a week prior to her first estrus, and it had taken her a whole month just to figure out the basics.

It worked as an odd sort of vague precognition – the various bodily tics each corresponded to a particular category of impending event. For instance, a twitchy tail meant that something was about to fall in the immediate vicinity. The more important the event, the more parts of her body would be involved, up to and including a full body shudder that indicated a major event was about to happen – those were termed as “doozies.”

The last time Pinkie had been subjected to a doozy was a few months ago as she was walking out the front door of Sugarcube Corner to have a picnic with her fellow Element Bearers. It happened to be the morning that Twilight found out that her brother, Shining Armor, was getting married. Not coincidentally, this happened to be the maximum amount of time lag between prediction and actuality: about two hours.

There was one last oddity about the Pinkie Sense. Any precognitive tremor of sufficient planet-shattering severity also carried with it information about said event's predicted location. Naturally, such events didn't come along all that often. In all the time since Pinkie had first realized her gift, a precognitive flash of this magnitude had only happened a handful of times, and those events had been separated by months, if not years.

And yet, she had been seized by no less than three such tremors in as many days, effectively doubling her count. The first had jolted her out of bed in the early morning hours of the day after Hearth's Warming Eve, and was centered on Canterlot. Later that evening, another one had triggered about an hour after she had put the twins to bed for the evening. That one seemed to be coming from the Everfree Forest.

And now this. Could something so unusual that it had triggered no less than three Super-Duper-Ultra-Mega-Salmon-Level Doozies in less than a week really be happening? What did it all mean? While Pinkie thrived on the strange and unusual – it could be a lot of fun with the right mindset and careful planning – this kind of weirdness worried her a little.

Another shudder rocked Pinkie's body as her Pinkie Sense brought in more information. It was definitely coming from Canterlot this time. Pinkie frowned – something she almost never did. This doozy was perhaps the dooziest of all doozies, and that included the time at Froggy Bottom Bog when Twilight had transformed into a character from one of those JoyBoy games that a certain propeller beanie-wearing colt was always messing around with.

Pinkie snorted with amusement as she remembered the character's name. It was one of those inherently funny words that never failed to make her laugh. She had a whole list of them: begonias, pickle barrel, kumquat, and ramshorn were some of the other words that immediately sprang to mind. The last one was particularly interesting – was ramshorn one word or two? If it was one word, did you pronounce it like ram's horn, or ram shorn? Was it even a word at all, or was it an oddity she'd picked up from a fantasy novel? If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hooves with soap? Why do they call it a hacksaw when hacking is something you do with a knife?

A stallion's voice brought her back to Equis from the stream of consciousness in which her mind had been frolicking. “Goodness, Pinkie.” Carrot Cake's tone was heavily laced with concern. “You've been getting the shudders a lot lately. What sort of imminent disaster should we start preparing for?”

Pinkie blinked owlishly for a moment before an obliviously peppy smile slipped onto her muzzle. “Oh no, it's nothing like that, Mr. Cake. I can't say for sure, but I know it's important, and not at all disastrous. By the way,” she said offhandedly, as if what she had to say next was totally unrelated, “Twilight will be by in about an hour to tell me and the girls about important Element Bearer business in Canterlot tomorrow, so if I could take my lunch then, that'd be superrific!”

Cup Cake chose that moment to walk in from tending the storefront. “Oh, of course, Dearie. We wouldn't dream of getting in between you and important errands for the Princesses!”

Pinkie's eyes shot open even wider than usual as another thought struck her. “Oh, and I suppose I'll need to have tomorrow off as well.”

“O-of course, Pinkie,” Carrot Cake stammered in reply.

“Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Cake! You're the best!” And with that, Pinkie zoomed off to the kitchen again, leaving a pink-tinged wake that almost seemed solid.

After spending several seconds trying and failing to get coherent words to come out of his mouth, Carrot Cake shook his head and sighed. “I swear, Honey Bun, she's been like family for years, and I still can't wrap my head around that Pinkie Sense of hers.”

Cup Cake smiled and nuzzled her husband. “I know what you mean, Dear.” She put a hoof to her chin in thought. “Still, you can't say that our lives aren't enriched by her presence.”

Carrot Cake nodded in silent, grudging agreement.

Once more firmly ensconced in the kitchen, and heedless of the fact that she was the subject of their exasperated conversation, Pinkie Pie lovingly slathered frosting onto the last batch of cupcakes. As she did so, one thing was exceedingly clear in her mind: something unusual was indeed about to happen that day.

Despite the chilly temperature and the looming prospect of more snow in the clouds being brought in by the weather team, the marketplace was in full swing by the time Lyra reached it – a warm cup of hot chocolate held close in her levitation aura. It wasn't her favorite hay smoothie, but in the bitter chill of the morning, it suited her perfectly. The mint-green unicorn couldn't help but be enthralled by the activity around her. The cacophonous haggling between stall owners and customers blended beautifully with the amazing sights and enticing smells to weave a wondrous melody that thrummed and pulsed with a life of its own.

Lyra closed her eyes as she drank in the ambiance, a gentle smile tugging at her lips. There's an order to all things – even chaos. It was one of the first bits of wisdom that her Still Way instructor had imparted to her, and it had stuck with her ever since.

She spared a moment to reflect on the bittersweet memory. She had been a very different mare back then. The psychological scars of her last failed relationship were still fresh at the time, leaving her bitter, angry, and not particularly receptive to enlightenment. Following a particularly hard night of drowning her sorrows in drinking and debauchery that had landed her in the drunk tank, a veteran guardsmare had taken pity on her, gently but pointedly directing her to the Still Way dojo in Canterlot.

With heavy reluctance, she had found herself standing with trembling hooves before Grandmaster Quiet Thunder. Upon hearing her story, Quiet Thunder had eagerly taken her under his (metaphorical) wing. Lyra gave a soft chuckle and rueful smile at this, for he had done more than merely teach her arcane self-defense. Slowly, gently, he had helped her find her self-worth amidst the rubble of her past and rebuild it to be stronger than before. Though she'd never harbored any romantic intentions for him – as her teacher and as a happily married stallion, it would've been wrong on two levels for her to try – she still held a deep respect for him.

For this reason, she always made a special effort to take each of his teachings to heart, from the last to the first. It had taken several hours of focused meditation to fully understand the one about chaos having its own order, and the implications of such. As it turned out, the saying worked in two ways. One, naturally, applied to combat: even in the heat of battle, one could find exploitable patterns in an opponent's maneuvers. That much even a foal could discern, given enough time. What was truly revolutionary about the aphorism was that it was also relevant to everyday life. With practice and patience, one could effectively cut through the fog that obscures one's goal. It was a central tenet of Still Way philosophy: open your mind to all possibilities; let the stream of time flow over, around, and with you, and the shortest path to where the universe needs you to be will open.

Such as now.

Taking advantage of the gap formed by two ponies completing a transaction and parting company, Lyra pressed forward. One opening became another, and then another, and another one after that. With a cat's effortless grace, she weaved her way through each gap, emerging on the other side of the market less than a minute later. Not a single drop of her hot chocolate had met an unfortunate end on the snowy ground below.

Once she was far from the madding crowd, Lyra turned her attention further up the street, in the direction of Quills & Sofas. She watched and waited, hopeful that the local librarian would be headed down the path towards her at any moment. Sure enough, a moment later the door to Quills & Sofas opened to reveal a lavender unicorn mare bound for the marketplace, excessively long list-toting baby dragon in tow.

Just as predicted, Lyra silently exulted while casually sipping on her warm beverage. My Grandmaster Sense strikes again! She chuckled at the implied comparison to a certain party planner before affixing a coy smile to her face and waving as her friend approached.

“Hey, Lyra,” Twilight said with a smile of her own. “How did you know I was going to the market?”

Lyra adopted a mock sagely expression. “Well, I could get all mystical and give you some song and dance about the winds of fate driving us to where we need to be, but really, it was just a hunch.”

Twilight giggled at that. Her companion, on the other hand, was less than amused. “Whatever,” Spike grumbled from his perch on Twilight's back. “I'm still not convinced that you aren't spying on us.”

“Spike!” Twilight fixed her companion with a glare that could melt iron. “That was rude. Besides, you know Lyra's not that kind of mare.”

Sighing heavily, Spike muttered a decidedly insincere apology under his breath. Twilight again stared him into submission. “Sorry, Lyra,” he said, just managing to fake enough authenticity in his voice to get his caretaker off his back.

“And I'm sorry too, Lyra. Spike's been feeling a bit neglected lately. I've been having to work him harder than he's used to because Owlowiscious is being boarded at the vet's office while his wing heals.”

Concern marred Lyra's features. “Oh, dear. I hope he feels better soon. For Spike's sake, if nothing else.”

Twilight gently smiled at her friend. “Thanks for your concern. The vet says he'll be fine. In fact, he'll probably be ready to come home on Friday.”

“That's wonderful news!” Lyra replied with a happy smile. Her ears twitched a few times as she remembered something important. “Oh, by the way, Twilight – Raindrops and I are getting together next Tuesday for our usual weekly lunch. I realize that that's New Year's Day, but I know of one or two places that will be open that day. Do you want to join us?”

Twilight frowned as she lit her horn and a heavy tome floated out of her saddlebags, wrapped in her signature magenta aura. “Let me check my schedule really quickly,” she replied. After a few moments of poring over the monumental text, using a forehoof as a guide, her countenance brightened and her ears perked up. “Aha! It looks like I'm definitely free next Tuesday between noon and one o'clock. Will that work for you?”

“That's perfect, Twilight. I'll let Rainy know that you'll be joining us.”

After that, the conversation turned to idle chatter and gossip. Clearly bored of the subject matter, Spike hopped off of Twilight's back and started looking for something to do. The two mares were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn't notice Spike suddenly turn in their direction, cheeks bulging in the telltale sign that he was about to burp up a letter. Twilight and Lyra were therefore momentarily startled when said missive spontaneously materialized between them in a crackle of green flame that preceded a flash of white light. For her part, Lyra's reflexes were just fast enough to narrowly avoid getting whacked in the face with the inbound epistle that shot forth like a literary missile.

Twilight, on the other hand, was not so lucky. After tenderly massaging her abused cheek, she seized the offending parchment in her levitation aura and began to peruse the contents. The bright smile she'd had upon seeing that it was from Princess Celestia faded as she read the message, ultimately settling into a worried frown. Lyra developed a frown of her own as she sensed her lavender friend fighting a growing panic.

“Something the matter, Twilight?” she asked in a sympathetic tone.

Twilight had a crestfallen expression as she looked at her friend. “Sorry, Lyra. This letter just arrived from Princess Celestia. She's asking the girls and me to come to Canterlot at our earliest convenience to consult on a sensitive matter.” An apologetic expression settled onto Twilight's muzzle. “I'm afraid I'm going to have to cut our conversation short, Lyra, but I should go give the girls the news.”

“Don't worry about it, Twilight,” Lyra said with a sweet smile. “I know what it's like to have your life interrupted by the occasional duty to the Crown.”

Twilight returned the smile with an equally saccharine one of her own. “Thanks for your understanding, Lyra. I'll see you and Raindrops on Tuesday.”

“We'll be looking forward to it,” Lyra replied as the two mares shared a friendly nuzzle before Twilight ran back the way she came. Once Twilight disappeared past Quills & Sofas, Lyra resumed sipping her beverage. A moment later, she also left the market, walking off to see if Bon Bon needed her to pick up anything for the store. She could've sworn the oven needed a new temperature knob... again...

Meanwhile, as Twilight galloped off to gather her friends – a loudly protesting Spike desperately clinging to her back with all his might – one thought ran through her mind on an endless loop: something unusual had happened that day.

The next morning found Twilight sighing in exasperation halfway to Equestria's capital city. As much as she dearly loved Pinkie Pie and valued her friendship, the pink mare's enthusiasm – and yes, randomness – could be a bit much to handle at times. From the moment Twilight and her friends had boarded the carriage that was being pulled by a pair of pegasus royal guards and departed for Canterlot, Pinkie had been jabbering her ear off with one wild guess after another about the nature of Princess Celestia's summons: everything from finding out who stole the last slice of Princess Luna's birthday cake to a creepy magic-stealing villain who'd escaped from Tartarus when Cerberus was distracted in Ponyville last spring.

The poor mare found herself pushed past her wit's end with the current gnat at which Pinkie was straining, however.

“Pinkie,” she said in a calm, restrained tone, “I'm pretty sure Princess Celestia's summons has nothing to do with a sapient tailless primate from another universe in need of a friend running around Equestria.” Candidly, there may have been a slight edge in Twilight's voice at that moment, and her right eye and left ear may have both been twitching erratically. If Pinkie had noticed any of these warning signs, however, she gave no indication of it, preferring instead to continue to tilt at the surreal windmills that her mind had conjured up.

To the great relief of all, Pinkie's imaginative ramblings were cut short as the carriage bounced roughly off the ground twice before finally settling down solidly on terra firma. One of the stallions pulling the carriage quickly unhooked himself before trotting over and opening the door for the occupants.

Rainbow Dash groaned in relief as she began to hover about the courtyard that they had landed in. “Finally, we're here! I don't think I could take another minute crammed in there with Pinkie.” She grimaced and then looked at her friend with a sheepish smile. “No offense, Pinks.”

Pinkie returned it with a gigawatt smile of her own. “None taken, Dashie!” She leaped from the carriage with a shower of confetti and – strangely, since no trumpeters were around – the blaring of a three-note trumpet trill, resulting in some strange looks from her fellow Element Bearers. The nearby guards were, of course, stoic as always.

For her part, Rarity gave a disgruntled huff. “You'd think that the Royal Guard would know how to land one of these things gently. My mane is all mussed,” she groused as she gingerly stepped out of the carriage.

“No time to worry about that now, Rares,” Applejack replied, pointing a hoof at two familiar ponies who were approaching. “We've got company.”

The couple – a white unicorn stallion with two-tone blue mane and tail, and a pink alicorn whose mane and tail had purple, cream, and rose streaks – stopped about a bodylength away from Twilight and her friends. Twilight was already rushing over to the stallion before he had finished giving an excited shout of “Twily!”

Shining Armor staggered backwards slightly as his little sister glommed onto him in an affectionate embrace. He chuckled heartily before returning the hug. “Glad you could make it, kiddo,” he said, smiling sweetly at her.

“You too, BBBFF,” Twilight replied, “I haven't seen you since you got back from your honeymoon. I'm still kind of jealous that you two got to go to Haywaii. It must have been nice.”

“It was. You would've loved it,” Princess Cadance said, drawing Twilight's attention.

“Oh, Cadance! I almost forgot you were there. I'm sorry.”

Cadance smiled. “Don't worry about it, Twilight.” With all the heady exuberance of a foal who had just earned her cutie mark, the two mares then cavorted in place as they began the song-and-dance routine that had served as their special greeting ever since Twilight was a filly.

“Sunshine, sunshine ladybugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake!” They giggled giddily as they came down from the high that the performance always induced. One could easily tell that they were as close as sisters, in spite of the “sisterhood” being modified by the phrase “in-law.”

Twilight turned back to her brother. “As much as I'd love to spend the morning catching up with you two, is there a particular reason you're here? As far as I know, Celestia just sent for me and the girls.” She couldn't help the curious tone in her voice and the uncertain flattening of her ears.

Shining Armor shook his head. “She wouldn't say. All she told us is that we were to escort you and your Ponyville friends to the medical wing of the palace. I can only assume that she and Princess Luna will explain everything there.”

Twilight looked back to her friends. All of them were wearing hesitant, uncertain expressions on their faces. They knew full well that if the princesses insisted on delivering a message in person, it must be deathly important. Nevertheless, determination rapidly replaced fear and doubt – they were the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, after all. Honor compelled them to heed the princesses' call, no matter where it might lead. And the princesses had yet to steer them wrong. Exchanging a brief nod to one another, they turned back to their escort.

“Alright, then,” Twilight declared to her brother. “Lead the way.”

Wordlessly, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance turned and trotted off into the castle, with Twilight and her friends following close behind them.

Located in a sheltered basement near the eastern wall of the castle, just above the entrance to the crystal caverns where Princess Cadance had been imprisoned by the changeling queen during the Royal Wedding fiasco, Canterlot Castle's medical ward was about as well-protected a location as could be expected in the capital city. It was flanked on each side by secondary guard barracks, and had one main entrance at the end of a short corridor that lead back up to ground level. Each barracks fed into this main foyer, so that in an emergency, the entrance could be heavily reinforced in short order. Behind the entryway, a decontamination ward helped ensure that the medical wing always maintained a sterile environment.

It was in this clean room that the Royal Sisters ultimately met with Twilight and her entourage. Princess Celestia was easily recognizable because she stood crest and withers above everypony else. Her long, slender legs supported a powerful frame, and in the right light, her perfect white coat gleamed with an almost divine glow. The large golden crown and gold-plated peytral she wore were adorned with matching amethyst jewels, while her mane and tail – a veritable rainbow of pastel shades – flowed in an ethereal wind.

In stark contrast to her sister, Princess Luna embodied the night in her almost sensual physicality. She was smaller than the Steward of the Day – much closer to Princess Cadance in stature, and her coat was a deep bluish-purple hue. Likewise, her smaller obsidian crown and peytral were less ornate – the ghostly crescent moon of her cutie mark on the latter item being the only embellishment she allowed herself. Her mane and tail flowed in the same nonexistent wind as her sister's, and it seemed as though the night sky was contained within.

“I'm so glad you could make it on such short notice, my most faithful student,” Princess Celestia said as Twilight rushed up to embrace her and the others bowed respectfully.

“It's nothing, Your Highness. My friends and I are glad to be of service to you and to Equestria,” Twilight happily replied. She then pinned her ears back as her earlier confusion returned. In a tremulous voice, she continued: “However, I'm still a little uncertain as to why you asked us to come.”

“We will explain to you on the way,” Princess Luna replied. The diarchs turned and led the group to a winding ramp leading down into the bowels of the facility. Upon reaching the bottom, their path took them through a maze of nearly identical hallways.

As they walked, Luna glanced back over her shoulder to address them. “A few days ago, I was on a... diplomatic mission of sorts. My sister and I had discovered a new sapient species a few months after my return from lunar exile. We studied them covertly for a while, and after much careful consideration, I was sent to their lands to make a final assessment of their readiness for official contact.

“Not long after entering their territory, however, I came upon a severely injured member of the species in question. He had been brutally attacked, and there was no one in the immediate vicinity to help him. When his attackers found me, I was attempting first aid to stabilize him for transport. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to bring him back here for treatment.”

They had just passed through a stronger version of the decontamination ward from the entrance. In contrast to the upper parts of the facility, only a few ponies were making the rounds here. Twilight started in recognition when they passed through. “So, why are we in Isolation Ward Number One? Isn't this the ICU ward for minotaur patients?”

Celestia nodded. “Indeed. Although this patient is similar in some ways to a minotaur, he's also quite unique. And as Luna said, his injuries were very severe. He probably would've died if Luna hadn't brought him back here. Given the situation, this was the only facility with the equipment and personnel needed to treat a special case like this. Even as it was, it took the team three whole days of round-the-clock care and several trips by Luna to the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters for him to recover enough to be released into your care.”

At this, the Element Bearers glanced at one another with worried expressions all around. Applejack took the opportunity to speak up. “Pardon me for asking, Yer Highness, but why us?”

“The land he hails from is inaccessible for the immediate future,” Luna replied, “so he's cut off from all that is familiar to him, at least temporarily. He is going to need friends to support him and help him acclimate to Equestria until such time as he can be returned to his people.”

“So, let me get this straight: you brought a freaky alien who's sort-of-a-minotaur-but-not back from his homeland, who may react badly to finding out that he can't go home again for quite some time? And you want us to be his friends?” Rainbow Dash replied with a skeptically raised eyebrow.

“That's the idea, Miss Dash,” Celestia said calmly.

“You do realize how tall of an order this is, right, Princess?” Dash countered, her dubious tone practically dripping from every word.

“As the bearers of the Elements of Harmony, you girls have become used to dealing with the unexpected – from the return of Nightmare Moon and Discord to the changeling invasion – and handled each challenge with grace and poise.” Celestia looked to each mare in turn as she spoke, a warm smile on her muzzle. “Furthermore, it was you girls that encouraged your friends and neighbors in Ponyville to see past their prejudices and accept the zebra apothecary named Zecora as a welcome addition to the community. Luna and I feel that these experiences will serve you well in helping our guest adapt to life in Equestria, especially should the portal to his homeland remain closed to us for the indefinite future.”

“You are, of course, free to decline our request for assistance,” Luna said. “No negative judgment will fall on you if you do so.”

“Oh c'mon, Dashie! I think this will be fun! Besides, I'll bet he's never seen a Sonic Rainboom before. You could totally wow him with your amazingly awesome moves!” Pinkie replied.

Dash shrugged. “Worth a shot, I suppose.” She found herself fighting, and failing, to contain the tentative grin that formed on her muzzle.

“That's the spirit!” the pink mare enthused, clapping a hoof heartily against Rainbow's back, staggering the prismatic mare.

One by one, Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy joined Dash and Pinkie in accepting the diarchs' request. Shining Armor, who had remained quiet throughout the briefing, chose that moment to speak up.

“As heartening as it is to see my sister and her friends show their support for someone they've never met,” he said, “I'd like to assign some additional protection for this newcomer.” He raised his hoof to forestall any objections. “It's not that I don't trust Twily and her friends to keep him out of trouble. They just can't be everywhere at once. It couldn't hurt to have another set of eyes and ears to look out for him.”

Celestia nodded her assent. “That would be a wise idea, Captain. As Sergeant Heartstrings is the resident guardsmare in Ponyville, that duty would fall on her withers.”

Shining returned the nod. “I'll see to it that the appropriate orders are cut for her. Her commanding officer will summon her in a week's time to brief her.”

Luna nodded sagely. “That will also give us some time to get our 'guest' here acclimated before setting him loose in Ponyville. If there is nothing else, I believe it is time to introduce you to our guest.”

“Just one more thing, Princess,” Twilight answered. “You mentioned the patient's resemblance to a minotaur, yet you were also quite clear that he's not one.” Her ears were pinned back in uncertainty yet again, even as her eyes were filled with curiosity. “What exactly is he?”

Luna gave a coy smile. “Perhaps it is best that you see for yourself. However, I will tell you the name of his species. His people call themselves 'human.'”

Several different varieties of befuddled expressions settled upon the muzzles of the princesses' audience. Pinkie Pie gave voice to their confusion with three words: “What's a 'houyhnhnm?'”

Author's Notes:

Well, here it is: the prologue to my HiPE fic. There's more to cum come, as soon as I finish planning the next chapter.

And yes, Rainbow Dash does consider her horribly written self-insert Daring Do pr0n to be important business. You got a problem with that?

Fun fact about this universe: Pinkie Pie's first "doozy" occurred about an hour before the start of her first estrus cycle.

5/17/2015: Revised to improve narrative and address complaints about certain plot points.