The next day I woke up to the best sleep I had had in a while, went to meet Zecora stupidly early and showed her around town. It only took about ten minutes or so and the ponies began to actually talk to the rhyming zebra towards the end so I figured my job was done. Before I left the zebra she handed me two vials of blue liquid and said to give them to Rainbow Dash and Diamond because of a poison they had contracted when we met her. It took me a moment to figure out what she had said and just accept the potions and walked off. I went straight to the library and saw an image I never expected to see.

“If you say anything I will kill you.” Diamond said, with a very feminine voice. I looked over the guard and saw he was a lot shorter than he usually was, smaller than Twilight now, just. His hair looked fluffier and he had eye lashes now. It took me a moment when I took him all in to realise he wasn’t a he anymore. He was a she.

“Yeah Zecora said you got poisoned when we went into the forest. I guess whatever flowers we stepped on can switch genders or something. Wonder why I didn’t get infected?” I replied, trying to hold back any emotion in case I started laughing. I pulled out the first vial and looked it over.

“I believe what you stepped on was a plant called Poison Joke, it plays practical jokes on ponies, but doesn’t seem to affect anypony but ponies.” Twilight muttered from the table, she had a book in hand and was scanning over words.

“Alright makes sense, blue flower that is usually in a big field?” I asked, she nodded. “Oh yeah we stepped in those alright. How is being a girl FemDia?” I asked, she growled at me and stepped forward slightly.

“Do not tempt me Aron.” She muttered, I threw my arms up.

“Hey if I got turned into a chick after the initial shock I’d probably just masturbate all day.” I started walking back but FemDia just rolled her eyes.

“We are not all as perverted as you.” She muttered.

“Hey when have I ever been perverted in any way, besides that comment just then?”

“The way you are for one, once you are used to ponies more I do not doubt you will chase any mare that offers.”

“Probs, but that won’t be a problem for a while.” I muttered, both for not being really attracted to ponies and now having a girlfriend. Who happened to be a pony, so it was a bit of a paradox.

“Plus the party.” Twilight pitched in from the table.

“Yeah suppose so, but I didn’t do nothing without consent.”

“That may be true but it was still perverted.” FemDia said. I just smiled.

“Whatever, you want this vial or you gonna go test your new body out?”

“Fuck you. Give me the vial, fucking pervert.” She replied, I shrugged and handed it to an outstretched wing. She looked conflicted for a second before downing the whole thing. Nothing happened.

“That was anticlimactic, did you drink the wrong via?” I asked after about a minute of pause. FemDia looked visibly pained and opened her mouth to say something, but was cut off by a huge puff of lavender smoke that surrounded the pony. Once it evaporated we had everyday normal male Diamond back.

“Never again.” He muttered, shivering slightly.

“I thought you looked cute as a mare.” I muttered, the punch, or kick I suppose I received from that comment was not worth it.

My next target was Rainbow Dash, we had hung out quite a bit after agreeing to be in a relationship and agreed to tell everyone else later in the day. They all needed to go to Rarity’s for dresses to some Gala or something. I had kind of forgotten it was happening, all the drama about the tickets gone and me not being invited. I’m sure I could go if I wanted to but didn’t really want to. Plus I figured if the plus one date thing worked here I’d end up being dragged to it by Rainbow Dash if I mentioned it to her. I couldn’t find her to begin with until I found myself in a fairly open field close to where the grenades had gone off.

“Look out below!” I heard a cry, I dodged a falling Rainbow Dash for her to implant the ground, I very quickly noticed her wings looked pretty fucked up and ran over to check on her. She flipped over pretty quickly. “Hey Aron, looks like I’ve fallen for you.” She muttered in what I’m sure she thought was a seductive tone. I laughed a bit and pulled her up and hugged her, she was pretty heavy being a horse but I managed to hold her for a while. She eventually flew down to the ground with really out of time wings.

“Zecroa cursed me! We need to go find her.” Rainbow declared suddenly, I had the potion already out.

“Silly Dashie, we just stepped in a grove of plants called a Poison Joke, they turned Diamond into a chick.”

“Diamond got turned into a chicken?” She asked.

“No, a girl, female. Whatever, mare I guess.”

“You humans have a lot of names for things.” She muttered.

“Yeah but it means I have more compliments for my girlfriend.” I replied and winked, she blushed slightly and smiled. “This is the cure.” I said and handed her the potion, she looked at it with concern. “Drink the fucking potion Dashie, Diamond did and he’s a, he now.” She just grabbed it with a hoof and popped the cap and drank. Again nothing happened for a second before a blue cloud of smoke appeared around her and she had her wings back. We started walking to Rarity’s place after that.

“So, Diamond became a mare huh?” She asked after a pause. I smiled and began to scratch her ear as we walked.

“Yeah, I called him cute.” I replied, she stopped for a split second before continuing.

“Was he, she?” Dash asked.

“Don’t you get jealous Dashie, I just did it to piss her off. Though I’m still debating if the punch I received for it was worth it.” It so was.

“J- jealous?” She asked, I just laughed and continued with her ear. She started making adorable noises and slowed quite a bit. I wasn’t in a rush to get to Rarity’s so didn’t really care. After a minute her wings dropped and were completely limp at her side and she was barely walking.

“I am so doing this to you one day and seeing how long it takes for you to fall asleep.” I muttered, her wings popped back to her normal spot and she sped up. I laughed and followed.

“Why do you bully me so? You’re meant to be caring and nice and stuff.”

“Dash you’re adorable when I scratch your ears, and you know me now, what hint did I ever give that I was nice and caring? Plus would you rather have me, with all my faults, or someone who is just the embodiment of a perfect boyfriend. ‘Cuz I’m pretty sure if I was like that Rarity would be trying to steal me away.” She paused for a second and put a hoof out to stop me, then jumped up and hovering with her front hooves around my neck, she then kissed me again. It last quite a while and I ended up with my hands on my ass, feeling her kiss and her wings flap to keep her up. When she stopped it she kissed me quickly on the nose again and giggled.

“I’d rather have you any day, a perfect coltfriend would be boring.” She muttered and flew down. I was shocked for a moment, still unused to kisses and affection. She giggled when I didn’t say anything and started walking again, I followed.

We got to Rarity’s pad pretty quickly after that, everyone else was already here. Including Diamond and Lyra, I didn’t know at the time but apparently since Diamond was a fairly high rank he could just stroll into the Gala so had invited Lyra. We got some greetings as we walked in but most of the focus was on what dresses ponies wanted. It was pretty boring and I didn’t really pay enough attention to hear what people were saying, I found myself at the back of the room watching the ponies interact, Diamond and Spike soon joined me. I guess it wasn’t just human males who hated this crap.

“Hey Aron?” Spike asked, quietly, I looked down at him but didn’t move from leaning against the wall with my arms crossed.

“What’s up Spike?” I asked. He looked at Diamond for a second and gulped.

“Howdoyougetamaretolikeyou?” He asked. I blinked a few times.

“What.” I said, it wasn’t a question.

“How do I get Rar- a mare to like me?” He asked again. I blinked again and looked at Diamond, who was holding back a laugh.

“Fuck you Diamond. Honestly Spike I dunno. Me and Dash just kinda happened.” It was his turn to blink then and he doubled back, looking over to Rainbow Dash. He turned back to me.

“Wait, you and Dash?” He began, I nodded and tabbed my nose.

“Don’t say anything, gonna tell everyone after this shit is done with.” I replied.

“But. How?” He asked. Then looked me up and down. “You aren’t exactly amazing.”

“Fuck Spike, thanks. But again, I seriously have no idea. Who you after?” He paused. “You can duel me if it’s Rainbow Dash because I ain’t letting her go for a while. Hopefully.” I added, with a bit more venom than I meant. He gulped again.

“Nonono. It’s not Dash, she’s awesome but I wouldn’t do that to you.” He replied, putting his hands up to defend himself. “It’s Rar- Rarity.” I smiled slightly and shook my head.

“Don’t bother.” I said, he was taken aback again. “Seriously, I doubt she even registers you as a potential mate. You’re still a kid and she is very, prissy.”

“Prissy?” He asked.

“Yeah, formal, proper, whatever title you want to give it. It means she is going to be into rich, successful ponies and not much else. Her character only goes so far.” He looked pretty depressed at that.

“Oh.”

“Sorry to shoot you down so much dude, but it’s the way things are, I guess you can give it a try but I highly doubt it’ll do anywhere, if she even notices. You can ask Diamond if you don’t believe what I’m saying, I’m an alien remember.” I said, looking to Diamond who nodded.

“She does indeed seem to lust after those with power, she flirted with me without even knowing me, just because of my guard status I am thinking.” He muttered.

“There ya go.” I said, Spike still looked pretty down.

“Anypony you could suggest instead?” That stopped me for a second. I shrugged.

“Honestly dude I dunno. I’d say Twilight since you two are pretty similar but I figure you see her more as a sister or something rather than a friend. I guess you could try Pinkie Pie if she can even be flirted with or courted. If not Fluttershy.”

“Why those two?”

“Dunno, Pinkie Pie seems like she could be fun and sane if she ever had a reason, and Fluttershy seems beyond kind.”

“Alright, well, thanks Aron.” Spike said quietly and just stood next to Diamond, we were silent for a while.

“Oh Princess Celestia sent a letter for you, said she wanted you to go to Canterlot.” Diamond muttered suddenly.

“How many letters do I get that I never actually see?” I asked.

“All of them so far.” He replied.

“Alright, I don’t care anyway. She say what she wanted?”

“No, but she didn’t seem happy.”

“Think she knows about the grenades?”

“Of course, Twilight most likely sent a report on their effects as soon as she returned to the library.”

“Think she’s gonna tell me off?”

“I doubt it, she knew you were making them and isn’t pleased. I don’t think she approves but I do not think she will force you to hand them over. I suggest taking them in case.” I nodded.

“Any ETA of when she wanted me?” I asked.

“No, just sometime today.”

“She can’t be too pissed then, I’ll go talk to Dash, we can announce us and then I’ll try and order a chariot.” He nodded but said nothing. I pushed myself off the wall and walked over to Dash, she was standing idly talking to Applejack as I walked over, she smiled when she noticed me. Applejack tilted her hat.

“Dash, can we have a word?” I asked quietly, she looked to AJ and then back before nodding. We walked to the side of the room away from everyone else.

“What’s up Aron?” She asked.

“I’ve been summoned to Canterlot so I’ll have to make this a bit short. Can we announce now or you wanna wait til I’m back?” I asked. She thought for a second and nodded.

“Yeah alright, how you wanna do this?” She asked. I shrugged. “Pfft stallions.” She muttered and rolled her eyes. Then walked back towards the group, I followed and nodded my head to Diamond, who tapped Spike and they began to walk over.

“Hey everypony!” Dash called, Rarity immediately stopped talking to Twilight and everyone turned to us. I gulped a little and Dash stood closer to me. “We, Aron and I; just wanted to announce something.” She added. Then looked up to me. I looked at her and paused. Then looked to the others, eight pairs of eyes on me.

“We’ve agreed to be in a relationship with each other.” I managed to get out, the group exploded. Well besides Diamond, Spike and Lyra. They already knew. Well I hadn’t told Lyra but she obviously knew it was coming. I had all sorts of congratulations thrown at me. I didn’t want to stay for the gossip anyway so just threw my hands up.

“I’ve been summoned to Canterlot, Celestia’s orders. So I gotta make this short, yes Pinkie we can have a relationship party if alcohol is involved. Not as big as PinkFest, just the people in this room.” I declared. She gave a huge smile and agreed. “If you have any questions ask Dashie here. Or Diamond to make him uncomfortable.” I added. He gave me a glare. I knelt down and got a kiss from Dash, there were a few awwhs at that and I stood up.

“Spike can you send a letter to order up a chariot?” He nodded and grabbed a bit of cloth and a quill. Wrote a note and then burned it. Rarity looked ready to scream at that but quickly went back to interviewing Dash. I didn’t pay attention to what she said. Spike coughed up a reply and just handed it to me.

“Don’t move. Celestia.” I read aloud, then found myself in the middle of the throne room. I feel to my knees and a few guards actually ran up to me.

“Are you okay?” One asked, I was coughing up a lung so couldn’t answer. I eventually wiped the spit away and nodded. They stepped back and gave me room. I finally stood and faced Celestia, who was smugly smiling from her throne.

“Why?” I asked. She giggled.

“You’ll get used to it eventually. It saves time bringing you here so quickly.” She replied.

“Suppose so, what’s up?” I asked, she nodded to a guard next to her and they began to clear the room again. I stepped back.

“I won’t teleport you again until you go back to Ponyville.” She said. I didn’t move closer and tensed up a bit. Eventually the guards left and I began to walk closer to her, then stood in front of her. “Tell me about these grenades Aron.” She said. I smiled.

“They are human weapons, they cause an explosion and I recently received fifty of them from Toyar. I tested them out in Ponyville with Twilight Sparkle, Lyra something, Diamond and Rainbow Dash.” I replied quickly. She nodded.

“I received a report saying they are dangerous. And reports that two explosions went off near Ponyville.”

“Yes they are hella dangerous. I was, am more interested in the fact they work over ever wanting to use them against someone. And the reports are because they were much louder than I expected so we weren’t very far out of the town limits.” She nodded again.

“You say you are no warrior but make a warrior’s weapon. Without my permission.”

“You knew they were being made, you had the power to stop them being produced. Plus I had a royal guard with me at all times, if you were going to stop me you would have used Diamond to convince me not to produce them, I have to pay for the next lot anyway and the forty odd I still have will last a very long time, if not a long time they will never be used and I’ll have them destroyed if I think they will fall into the wrong hands.”

“And you say you don’t know how politics works. You certainly know military politics. I don’t agree with this little experiment but I won’t stop you making more, if you agree with letting me keep one in Canterlot, they could help Equestria’s military.”

“Of course, I brought them all with me, I suggest not setting on off inside the castle. But if you do give them upgrades or study them I suggest changing the trigger, the grenades now use a pin to explode so only unicorns or I can really use them. I guess Toyar used string or a personal invention to set them off, which I can guess you won’t have in a warzone.” She nodded.

“That will be our first priority then, do you think they would react to magic?” I shrugged.

“Hard to say, I don’t doubt you could do it, but I don’t understand magic, humans not having it, so I couldn’t tell you. I guess it would be possible to add elements to them, like the turret defences around Canterlot. But again, you’d have to test them yourselves.” Another nod.

“What other human weaponry could ponies use?” She asked.

“Well now with Toyar knowing how to make gunpowder you could make all sorts, better explosives, it could be used in industrial things like mining. I want to say you guys could use guns, with a pony trigger but I personally don’t know the knowledge and Toyar seems to be struggling even with experience in using gunpowder and the basic idea given to him. Most melee weapons that humans have you guys have and the ones you don’t would be pointless; like a baton or bat. Ranged stuff you have covered with crossbows, guns are the next level up. Actual machines are non-existent here so I won’t even begin to tell you about tanks and planes. You’d need to master gunpowder and guns before going onto shit like that.”

“How would you get this information? For tanks and guns?”

“Guns would be possible, I’d need to go back to Earth and make some notes from a computer, tanks and planes would be difficult without finding someone preparing for the end of the world and just happens to have those kind of blueprints around. Though I don’t really see any practical reason to bring true warfare to this world. I feel bad about inventing grenades here, and would feel worse about guns. But it might’ve happened one day without me and they can be used for more than warfare.”

“I can arrange a trip back to your home if you wish.”

“Maybe, it’s not top priority for me to make more weapons, but I’d be up for doing it if you asked. I’d like to take either Diamond or Rainbow Dash if that’s possible.”

“It would be, all it takes is opening a tear between dimensions.”

“Oh that’s simple then.” I replied rolling my eyes.

“My mother taught me the spell before she left.”

“Left?” I asked, carefully.

“Yes, it is a tale for another time perhaps. You keep bringing up this Rainbow Dash character, what is she to you?”

“Recently she was a great friend, until yesterday when we started a relationship.” Celestia paused for a second.

“So you are with a pony?” She asked.

“Yep, I see you guys as people, keeps me sane. And Dash has been giving hints about how she feels for a while now, so I figured it would be cool to at least give her a shot.”

“Do you think it will last?” That stumped me, I hadn’t really thought about it all that much.

“I dunno, eventually I’m going to have to actually pull my weight in Equestria and she’s training to be an athlete of some sort which I have very little interest in, she is a great girl and I don’t think we will ever stop caring for each other if this lasts a while. But eventually we will have to split up.”

“That’s a very depressing way of looking at it Aron, surely you should count your blessings when given?”

“I have had too much of a fucked up life to look on the bright side, I see the worst and hope it isn’t that bad but still try not to get more broken when it falls through.” She nodded slowly.

“You still haven’t met my sister.” Celestia muttered after a time. I smiled slightly.

“No I haven’t, I also haven’t stayed in Canterlot long enough to stay overnight.”

“Why not stay today?”

“Because I have shit to do today, like spend it with my girlfriend and bully Diamond about being turned into a woman.”

“What do you mean?”

“With what? On Earth we call relationship members boyfriend or girlfriend not colt and mare or whatever the fuck you guys use. Diamond got turned into a chick because we stepped into some poison joke.”

“The second bit, how was he as a mare?”

“Seemed pretty pissed off about the whole affair, but when isn’t he?” I paused, Celestia said nothing. “Whatevs, he was shorter and smaller than he normally is. Voice was still monotone but higher pitched, I called him FemDia whilst he was like that.”

“I presume that’s slang for female Diamond?” I nodded. “Is there anything else you wish to talk about?” She asked after a pause.

“Is there a way for a non-unicorn to learn magic?”

“No.” She immediately said. “All pony races have a level of magic, and even other races have their own kind of magic, but from what I have seen you require a catalyst to cast magic, unicorns have a horn, Pegasi have wings, Earth ponies are the most conflicted as to where they get their magic from, but it is usually passive. There are exceptions. But there hasn’t been an Earth pony mage in a long time.” I thought on Twilight’s friends and one pink horse came to mind.

“I think Pinkie Pie might be a mage without realising, she does. Things. Things that shouldn’t be possible, even by magical-colourful-talking-horses standard.”

“I highly doubt she is any kind of mage Aron.” Celestia replied then giggled slightly.

“Maybe, you should meet her one day. Then tell me what she does is natural.” She shrugged at that. “Is there anything else?” I asked.

“Keep Rainbow Dash close Aron.” She muttered. I huffed slightly and crossed my arms.

“See, a lot of people have been telling me that, or to let her in. Which is fair enough and I’ve repeated it a lot to Diamond, but it doesn’t fill me with confidence.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean the more people bring it up the more I figure we are gonna end up breaking up.”

“But you will think that way anyway, if what you’ve said is true?” She asked, I was silent for a bit and just looked at her sitting in her little throne.

“That is very true. You know ponies, what do I do to be a decent boyfriend, or colt friend or whatever the fuck you call it.” She smiled slightly, I just rubbed the back of my head awkwardly.

“Do what you did to get her to want to be with you.”

“Yeah that’s all well and good Celestia but I didn’t mean it to happen, yeah I’m hella glad it happened but it was more of an accident than anything else. I guess flirting will help or hugs and shit but I’ve had history of going overboard with that.”

“Then talk to her, tell her your fears and how you can be better.”

“Christ Celestia you suck at this.”

“I don’t see how, but I haven’t been in all that many meaningful relationships.”

“Surely doing all that crap would be late relationship? Is on Earth anyway, I think.”

“Remember Aron, ponies are very different to what I know of humans.”

“Yeah but I see you guys as humans. I see you as people over ponies.”

“If it keeps you going…” She muttered.

“It really does.” I paused and took a breath. “So you think talking to her about my fears could help?” She nodded and smiled slightly again. “Alright, well unless there is anything else? Like jobs or some shit.”

“There is a group of Diamond Dogs close to Ponyville I need, disposed of. But they aren’t a big enough issue for troops to be needed.”

“You really want me to become a warrior don’t you?” I grunted, far more annoyed than I wanted to sound. She actually flinched somewhat.

“I’m sorry Aron, most bipedals, if not all in Equestria have a military upbringing and no matter how you put it, you have a military mind. Whether you are a fighter or not.”

“That I won’t disagree with, but just because I have the mind doesn’t mean I can fight, nor want to. The best thing would be to learn how to lead people, but with no experience I couldn’t just outright lead a force, even a small one. Plus with such a technological gap between our races my tactics won’t work as well as your tactics might.”

“But with guns?” She paused. “Could you lead a force?”

“Would still have no experience, but I could maybe advise your leaders. Teach them the ins and outs of guns, though if I get the knowledge I’m sure you will want it and can probably just spread that to your officers. Speaking of, I know Diamond mentioned Shining Armor as THE Captain, how does ranking work here?”

“See, no civilian would be asking those questions.”

“Yeah well fuck you.” She snorted a laugh.

“Diamond is a sergeant in the Royal Guard, and Shining Armor is a captain, the ranks for royal guard only go up to captain and there are only ever one, or two now Luna has returned, one for each guard sept. The Royal Guard are only ever composed of ponies, however the Equestrian Army is different, there are more tiers of rank and go up to High Commander. Shining Armor is just a pawn compared to some members of the army.”

“So what you have two forces? The Guard and the Army? Makes sense, we used to do things like that, have a standing army and a militia that defended the Homefront. There’s a lot of history to that but the point is still the same.”

“And indeed there is a lot of history as to why Equestrian forces are so split.”

“Does your navy count as a split force or are they just part of the army?”

“Part of the army. You know, the amount of questions you are asking could make one believe you’re planning an invasion.”

“Yeah but we’ve discussed that could never happen, I don’t have anyone under me, I’m no fighter. Plus with your magic alone you could wipe me off the face of the fucking planet. I’m no threat to you Celestia. Just curious.”

“Are you no threat out of fear though?”

“Celestia, I’m no threat because I’m no fucking threat. I wouldn’t give my enemies a mean to get even further ahead of me, the shit that you could probably do with guns and magic would put any human invention to shame.”

“I see, what are you going to do with this information?” She asked.

“Fuck all, I just wanna know your history and politics and shit. Plus if you really thought I was a threat you wouldn’t have allowed Diamond to tell me about your defences, you wouldn’t have allowed me to keep Spiritus, and you wouldn’t be telling me all this.”

“I see, then there is nothing more for us to discuss, you may leave.” Celestia muttered after a short pause, I looked at her for a second but eventually just shrugged and walked out, then headed toward the chariot docks. I didn’t make it three steps out of the throne room when I found myself on my knees coughing again, I actually spat out some blood that time. I looked up to see a piece of paper aimed at where I was looking.

“Sorry – C.” It said, I’ll give her something to be sorry about the fucking bitch. After my coughing fit I found myself in my room back in the library. I walked around my room for a bit, still feeling sick and wondering what the fuck I just coughed up before going into the main room, drinking some water and leaving the library.

Outside was much the same as it had been before I left, very sunny with a few clouds. I wondering through Ponyville before I realised I had no idea where the fuck I was going and went to ask directions to wherever the fuck Dash or Diamond might be.

I needed more friends.

I wondered around Ponyville for a few minutes looking for something to do but eventually just gave up and started heading towards Rarity's place. I made it about half way before spotting Diamond walking back my way. I kept the pace I had, not wanting the bastard to think he was loved or anything. Likewise he kept his pace and just started following me when we met. For a minute or so neither of us said anything. It was actually me who broke the silence.

"Celestia really wants me to meet her sister." I declared. He huffed slightly.

"Never met her, was that it?" He replied quietly.

"Nah course not, I got a bit of a lashing over the grenades but am free to do whatever with them, though she wants to test them with magic and see if she can enhance them. Also might be a trip home soon-" He looked up slightly with a half smile. "- For research, I need to find out how to make a gun, though we will be playing video games and I will kick your ass." I probably wouldn't. "Plus showing you some human shows or something."

"Awesome. Anything else?"

"Calm your excitement Diamond." He just glared at me. "She tried to get me into politics and the military again. Then as I said, wanted me to meet her sister. I'm planning on finding an event that me and Dash can go to so we have an excuse to stay over night. It's not my top priority though."

"What is your priority Aron? I did not see you as a stallion with goals."

"Fuck off, I suppose that is kinda my next goal. Just ain't gonna rush it too much, I have no idea why the fuck Celestia's sister wants to meet me so much. Yeah I'm an alien but come on now."

"You have complained about Princess Luna a few times now."

"Thanks Diamond."

"No problem."

"You got any thoughts?"

"About?"

"I will cut you."

"Yeah yea, it is just easy to annoy you. It is pretty fun. Lyra was right."

"I'd ask but I don't care. Have you got any thoughts on Luna?"

"Yes." He paused, I raised a hand to slap him and he started laughing slightly. "I think it's a mix between you being-" He looked me up and down. "- You. Being an alien and you being basically the first thing she saw when she came back from being practically dead for a thousand years.

"What."

"Well you know how Nightmare Moon was actually just Princess Luna but more of a cunt?"

"Go on?"

"Well Luna was not actually in control, Nightmare Moon was basically what ponies know as Taint, but manifested to control Luna, hence the difference in looks and voice. Luna was still alive but could not do anything besides internally fight against the Taint, though considering she was trapped in the moon for a thousand years she probably did not get very far. From what I have read about manifested Taint, whoever gets infected is basically dead, they cannot move or talk. Just have to fight inside their own mind for control of their own body." I wasn't sure what to say to that, and was silent for a good minute as we continued walking.

"That sounds pretty dark, trapped in your own mind, I hope Luna gets some mental help, she should not be sane." I muttered.

"Princess Luna was always meant to be the stronger willed of the two sisters. But after so long alone, I agree. Luna will need help." There was another pause. "Maybe that is why Celestia wants you two to meet? You are both 'broken'."

"She is more."

"I don't suppose it really matters. You could argue I am as well."

"You're a guard Diamond, and completely jaded, though I suppose you were full of life many years ago."

"I was, this is due to training more than shock or events like what Luna would be. Or you." He took a deep breath and paused again. "I was pretty sprightly as a colt, and my younger guard years."

"Meh we were all cunts when we were younger. Don't think too much on it."

"That is true I suppose. What were you like?"

"A complete cringe machine. I look back on shit I said say a year ago and hate myself. Times that by a few years and I want to go back in time and kill younger me. Though I'd probably just do that and save myself all the pain and shit that comes."

"You talk about suicide and hating yourself far too much Aron."

"And you talk like a prick far too much. Let me be me and let Dash fix me so I can be a better me."

"What."

"Same." And with that we got to Rarity's place, I stopped at the doorway and looked at Diamond. "So how come you went looking for me, or going back to Twilight's or whatever the fuck you were doing?" I asked, arms crossed. He shrugged.

"With you gone all I had was Spike to talk to, but he is far too immature and far too into all the dress talk that was going on. So I got bored, was going to go back to the library. I was surprised to see you back, usually takes an hour or so for chariot. As you know."

"Yeah, Celestia teleported me back to the library. I actually coughed up blood this time."

"Shit. I hate teleporting, you should get wings and be able to fly everywhere. You could probably go faster than chariots do, not having to worry about passengers and a second flier so close to you."

"How would I get wings?"

"Magic is a wonderful thing."

"Diamond I don't think it's possible for me to become a mage, and I sure as shit ain't becoming a pony."

"I don't blame you. Just looking at you i'd prefer being human." I smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"Are you checking me out? Should you have gone for Lyra?" I joked.

"I'm not gay." He muttered darkly.

"Hey I'm just teasin'."

"I know. I don't take any of your insults seriously. You seem to be someone who when angry, shows it. So I'd know if you were actually insulting me." I shrugged but said nothing. "From what I've read, and seen, bipedals are the superior body type. Better balance, arms that were actually designed for holding weapons. Ponies aren't meant for war, but we manage."

"Ya know there is an old legend on Earth about things called Centaurs, they are creatures with the body of a human and the lower body and legs of a horse, they are pretty badass creatures. That's got to mean something. Ponies and humans together. I dunno."

"If you were a warrior maybe the legend could become true, sole human leading ponykind. Armed with guns." He drifted off a little at the end of that.

"Diamond do you know what 'Power Fantasy' means?" He laughed slightly and walked inside Rarity's. I just smiled again and followed him inside the place. I was immediately attacked by a pink fur ball known as Pinkie Pie and almost wished I hadn't gone back to there and just waited it out at Twilight's. But I couldn't read and Diamond wasn't all that sociable so would've got boring pretty quickly depending on his mood. Plus i'd have to go through this eventually anyway.

"I'm back." I muttered.

"I see that silly filly. You upset some ponies by running away like you did." Pinkie replied, giggling.

"I'm not a filly silly. Not my fault Celestia wanted to bitch me out." I got a glare from Diamond and a confused look from Pinkie.

"What's bitch mean?" She asked. I smiled and patted her on the head, it was kinda awkward since she was still hugging me.

"I'll tell ya when you're older Pinks." I muttered, she looked a bit upset at that. "You shouldn't hug me as much now either. I'm not a single an anymore. I got responsibilities. Or something." I shrugged and she let go after a quick squeeze.

"So. How'd it happen?" Pinkie asked.

"What?" I looked to Diamond quickly who looked bored and pissed. I winked at him and he rolled his eyes.

"You and Dashie silly!" She declared.

"I'll tell everyone, surprised none of y'all asked Dash, I deliberately said to ask her shit whilst I was away."

"Which is why I told them to wait on the questions." Diamond muttered. "That and you telling them to ask me as well." Oh you bastard.

"You bastard." I muttered, he shrugged. I stretched my arms behind me and cracked my knuckles quickly then walked upstairs where I presumed everyone else was. Pinkie just followed quietly so i presumed I wasn't going the wrong way or anything. My thoughts were confirmed when I walked in a room that looked pretty much the same as I had left: a load of mares standing in a circle talking. Though there was more mess: a load of cloth and ribbons and whatever else one would need to make a dress. I didn't know what half the stuff around the room was and didn't really care.

"Hey Aron!" I heard a cry from a cyan Pegasus, I smiled and waved slightly to Dash, she walked over and Pinkie hopped/bounced over to her friends. Dash stood next to me, I couldn't see where Diamond was but I presumed leaning against the wall or near the door. Spike was there.

"Sup Dash." I replied, she looked up at me and leaned on my leg, it was awkward but her hair was soft so didn't complain. Plus I'd have been more of a dick had I told her to piss off.

"How did it go?" She asked, she was looking up at me and I was just standing in the middle of the room. The rest of the mares in the room had gone silent and were just watching us. I wanted to cry.

"Meh alright. Celestia complained about making grenades, but allowed me to keep making them, tried to make me a warrior and a politician. Wants me to meet Luna soon, nothing major. Could've waited."

"Anything the Princess says is important Aron!" Twilight declared, I looked at her and she blushed slightly.

"She was acting casual but she is very obviously sizing me up." I muttered.

"Sizing. You up?" Rainbow asked slowly.

"Yeah, she isn't sure about me yet. So keeps asking about me subtly."

"What could she possibly be sizing you up for?" Rarity asked, I looked at her with a blank face. The others glared at her too. "Not offense meant." She added quietly.

"Dunno, just know she is. Diamond you got any ideas?" I asked looking behind me, he was, as I had thought; standing at the door.

"Whether you will be a valuable asset. After agreeing to the dragon job she wants to see your potential." He muttered. Shit.

"Huh alright. Just gotta avoid any dangerous jobs then."

"Depends what you want." Diamond muttered, I shrugged.

"Anyway, so me and Dash are in a relationship." I said after a small pause.

"Yep." Dash declared happily.

"So er, any questions?" I asked.

Christ the questions dragged on. As did the rest of the day when I kept answering sarcastically and they gave up on questioning how I'd bagged Dash and what our plans were for the future. Honestly I didn't know, I wanted to stay with her and wanted to make it work but with Celestia trying to get me into the military and the longer I stayed here the more I thought it was going to be my future I wasn't sure if it could work with Dash.
Only the future would tell.

And what a future it was.

Author's Notes:

This chapter dragged on for me, couldn't really think of where to go for it. Oh well. MOAR RELATIONSHIP STUFF
also i hate spike