'In all honesty, I knew I wouldn't be able to hide my condition from my family forever. I was well aware that my condition would deteriorate to the point where my symptoms could no longer be hidden. But what I didn't know was that Vinny had already learned the truth, and after some thought, decideded to share it with the others. What happened next rocked the whole family, in...'

Chapter Thirty-Two: The Great Egg Ransom

'Before we begin this chapter in earnest, we must take a look back, many years ago, when my brothers and I were tasked with moving the Golden Phoenix of Immortality to the Canterlot museum (For more information, please refer to Daring's final book, Seeking Eternity)...'

The Golden Phoenix was on a wheeled platform, the brothers working together to haul it in.

"Jeez..." Slot groaned. "Why'd they have to make this thing so buckin' big?"

"Dramatic effect?" Caboose offered.

"Quit complaining." Murray growled. "Just keep pushing."

"It makes you think though, doesn't it?" Lars asked. "This golden bird can grant immortality, and they're just putting it up in a museum."

"Just imagine what it must be like to live forever." Sonny mused.

"Some of us don't have to." Salt pointed out. "Celestia and Luna, for example."

"And I doubt they'd let ponies gain the power, just willy-nilly." Salt declared.

"Heh, 'willy'..." Caboose chuckled.

"Why not?" Sonny asked. "There'd be no death, no illness..."

"And more ponies than we'd know what to do with." Grimoire declared. "Ponies shouldn't live forever. There's a natural order to things. You're born, you live, and you die. That's that."

"You're seriously saying you wouldn't want to live a nice, long life?" Murray asked.

"Long, yes." Grimoire nodded. "Eternal, no."

"Yeah, but that's you." Vinny declared. "If it were me, I'd sure want to live for as long as I could."

"And leave us to age into dust?" Grimoire asked.

"Well, I..." Vinny frowned.

"We could all use it, though." Slot suggested. "You know, before the Princesses deactivate it."

"Maybe we should seize the opportunity." Lars suggested. "All of us, immortal, making a permanent mark on the world?"

"But what about the rest of our family?" Grimoire asked. "We couldn't possibly get them all down here too. Not before it's deactivated."

"Good point." Sonny nodded. "I can't imagine outliving Dusty."

"Not to mention all our friends." Murray noted.

"Guess it's not such a good idea, after all..." Salt mused.

"What say we make a pact?" Grimoire declared. "We should all pledge to do nothing to prolong any of our lives, no matter what. Are you in?"

"Yeah, I guess." Murray shrugged.

"I'm in." Salt agreed.

"I suppose eternal life would get boring, after a while..." Lars mused.

"And I'd hate not having you guys around..." Sonny added.

"Especially since we wouldn't be able to share some wine..." Vinny nodded.

"Or have fun nights out..." Caboose declared.

"Yeah, who needs that noise?" Slot smirked.

"Then we're agreed, then?" Grimoire smiled. "No attempts at immortality, or unnatural longevity?"

"You got it." Murray declared.

"Yep." Salt nodded.

"Indubitably." Lars grinned.

"I'm in." Vinny smiled.

"And me." Sonny added.

"Yeah, sure." Slot nodded.

"Good." Grimoire smiled. "Nice to know we all feel the same way. Now, let's finish lugging this thing over to it's display."

"Yay..." Slot groaned. "More pulling..."

"Can we hurry it up?" Caboose asked. "I got another date with Daring!"

"Still can't believe you scored that total babe." Vinny shook his head.

"Jealous much?" Caboose smirked.

"More like sorry for the poor mare." Salt joked.

"Hey..." Caboose growled.

"You know he's just kiddin'." Murray chuckled.

"He'd better be." Caboose pouted. "It took a lot of work to get Daring for a marefriend. I almost died, y'know..."

"So you keep saying." Grimoire sighed. "Just keep pushing. We'll be done soon enough..."

The brothers pushed the statue onto its display.

"Okay, gotta run!" Caboose dashed out.

"Good luck, bro!" Sonny called.

"Won't need it!" Caboose smirked.

'That seemed like such a long time ago. Considering everything that had happened since, I can't say with all certainty that I would make the same pledge today. In truth, I would have given anything for more live. My condition was steadily growing worse, and I was fully aware of how little time I had left. I tried to follow mom's instructions and make the most of what I had left, but it wasn't easy, knowing there was a countdown on my head. Little did I know that Vinny had learned of my condition, and, after much consideration, had decided to tell the others about it (word to the wise, you should probably consult the work "Project: Transcendence" before going any further)...'

One evening in Canterlot, the brothers (sans Grimoire) were all gathered in Blazin' Blues, having been invited there by Vinny. The others could tell by Vinny's uncharacteristic solemnness that something wasn't right.

"Not that I don't mind a nice private drinking session, but why the invite?" Murray asked.

"Yeah, seriously." Salt frowned. "You call us over here, all hush-hush, telling us not to tell Grimm..."

"And why's that, anyway?" Sonny asked. "Why would you want to exclude him?"

"Are you trying to form a 'No Grimm' club?" Caboose asked.

"Of course not." Vinny shook his head.

"Then what is it?" Lars asked.

"Spill it already, bro." Slot urged.

"Okay." Vinny sighed. "I found something out recently. Something about Grimoire. Something he's been keeping from us, but which I think we deserve to know."

"And what exactly do we need to know?" Murray asked.

"If it's so important, surely Grimoire would have told us himself." Lars posited.

"Grim's kept secrets before, hasn't he?" Vinny declared. "And he's keeping one now."

"So are you going to tell us this big secret, or what?" Slot snorted.

"I am." Vinny nodded. "I was at the mansion a while back, and Grim got a phone call. I wound up listening in, and I heard his doctor say that... He's got Prangingson's Disease."

The rest of the brothers froze in shock, knowing full well what that meants.

"No..." Salt gasped. "It can't be..."

"You must have misheard." Sonny insisted.

"I know what I heard." Vinny insisted.

"Come to think of it, Grim has been acting a little off lately." Murray noted.

"Yes, he's been short-tempered..." Lars declared.

"Absent-minded..." Sonny continued.

"Tired all the time..." Slot continued.

"Oh buck, it's true!" Murray gasped.

"This can't be happening..." Salt shook his head. "Not like it did to dad..."

"Oh, Grim..." Caboose started to whimper.

"How could he have kept this from us?!" Slot yelled. "We're his brothers! We deserved to know!"

"Maybe he thought it would be better if we didn't know?" Sonny suggested. "Maybe he just didn't want us to worry?"

"Oh, so he wanted us to live in ignorance?" Murray scowled. "Real nice."

"So, what do we do know?" Lars asked.

"We confront Grim." Vinny declared. "We tell him that we know, and give him an earful for keeping in the dark."

"Buckin' A." Slot grinned.

"No." Salt said firmly. "We can't do that."

"Why not?" Slot asked.

"Maybe because Grimoire wants to tell us in his own time?" Sonny declared. "We should respect his wishes, and let him tell us when he's ready."

"Besides, what's he gonna say when he finds out you were sneaking around, listening in on his private conversations?" Salt asked Vinny. "We don't do that to each other."

"I know, but..." Vinny started.

"Besides, what will telling him do?" Caboose asked. "It's not like any of us know how to cure him."

"For once, Caboose makes a good point." Lars nodded. "Confronting Grimoire would achieve nothing, except gain his ire for going behind his back."

"So you're saying we do nothing?" Vinny frowned.

"Nothing is all we can do right now." Salt declared. "Telling Grimoire we know will only get him angry, and make things worse."

"What's wrong with a little anger?" Slot asked.

"You of all ponies should know the answer to that question." Lars snorted.

"The guys are right." Murray declared. "We shouldn't talk to Grim until he's ready to talk. But that doesn't mean we can't give him a little extra support."

"Support?" Vinny asked.

"You know." Murray smiled. "Being around his place more often, helpin' him out, that sort of thing."

"I could go for that." Caboose smiled.

"Me too." Salt nodded. "In fact, let's all go down there tomorrow, and lend our big brother some support."

The next morning, the brothers hurried down to Ponyville, knocking on the door to Grimoire's mansion.

"Guys?" Grimoire frowned, as he opened the door. "What are you doing here?"

"What, we can't drop in our favourite brother every once in a while?" Murray smiled widely.

"Yeah, but it would help if you called first." Grimoire declared.

"Oh, pshaw." Lars waved his hoof. "We're family, are we not?"

"Yeah." Sonny nodded. "And family sticks together."

"We figured we should spend more time with you, Grim." Salt stated.

"Yeah, let's face, it, you're not getting any younger..." Caboose started.

"Meaning we should enjoy the time we have right now." Vinny added.

"You never what might come around the corner, right?" Slot smiled.

"...Yeah." Grimoire said awkwardly, their words hitting a little too close to home. "Okay, come on in."

The brothers entered the mansion. Oakley barked joyfully at their approach.

"Hey, big fella." Murray scratched him behind his leafy ears.

"Zecora's at the market, but I think I can whip you guys up some tea." Grimoire announced.

"Please, allow me." Sonny stepped forward. "It's the least I can do, after dropping in unannounced."

"Okay..." Grimoire shrugged.

As Sonny entered the kitchen, Grimoire moved to sit in his favorite chair.

"Hold up!" Slot suddenly took a nearby cushion and placed it on the chair. "Stallion's gotta be comfortable in his own house, y'know?"

"I suppose..." Grimoire shrugged, picking up a book.

"Here, let me read that for you!" Caboose leaned over Grimoire's shoulder.

"What?!" Grimoire spluttered.

"You don't want to strain your eyes with all those big words, do ya?" Caboose smiled.

"Seriously?" Grimoire frowned. "I'm perfectly capable of reading a book, you know."

"Of course you are." Caboose nodded. "I'm just helping you out, like a brother should."

"Thanks, but I think I've got this." Grimoire pulled the book away.

Moments later, Sonny returned, carrying some tea for the others. As Grimoire reached for his cup, Sonny pulled it away.

"Hold on." Sonny declared. "just gotta blow on it, make sure it's not too hot."

"Okay, what's going on?" Grimoire growled.

"What do you mean, Grim?" Salt asked.

"I mean, why are you all acting so weird?" Grimoire frowned. "You're treating me like I'm some kind of invalid!"

"No, no, no." Lars declared. "We're just trying to help."

"We want to be there for you, that's all." Murray smiled. "Like family does."

"Well, that's just hunky-dory, but-" Grimoire was interrupted mid-sentence, as his book suddenly turned into a papery butterfly. "What the...?"

"That's... peculiar." Murray frowned. He put down his empty cup, which suddenly sprang to life, hopping across the room.

"That's just plain weird." Vinny cringed.

All around the room, more odd things were happening. A lamp started flicking on and off in all colors, and a broom rose up and started flying across the room. Oakley barked as he gave chase.

"Okay..." Lars frowned. "You all know what's happening here, right?"

"Books turning into butterflies..." Sonny mused.

"Cups moving by themselves..." Salt frowned.

"The broom flying all over the place..." Grimoire added.

"Only one pony that this could be the work of..." Murray scowled.

"Yeah, like... the Al Quinoa." Caboose said darkly.

"Yeah... no." Slot snorted.

"I hate to say it, but it must be..." Vinny cringed.

Suddenly, Discord appeared in the middle of the room.

"Hello, boys!" He whooped. "Hope you don't mind me dropping by!"

"Hey, big D!" Caboose smiled.

"From one bunch of unexpected guests to another..." Grimoire frowned. "Not to be rude, but why did you suddenly materialise in my living room?"

"Oh, how rude of me." Discord tutted. "But since I've gone to all the trouble of visiting you in your home, the least you can do is return the favour!"

"What?" Lars frowned.

Discord raised his fingers.

"Oh no..." Murray cringed.

Discord snapped his fingers. One flash of light later, the brothers found themselves in his bizarre realm.

"Here we go!" Discord smiled. "Now we're nice and even!"

"Hey, nice place!" Caboose smiled.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Lars growled, his logical mind unbalanced by the chaotic architecture.

"Come in, come in." Discord urged, leading them to his house.

"Come on, guys!" Caboose smiled.

"Seriously?" Slot scowled. "You want us to come into that nutjob's house?"

"He's my friend." Caboose declared. "And he's a pretty great guy, once you get to know him."

"Well, considering we don't have a our own way out of this twisted place, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to stay a while." Grimoire shrugged.

"Yay..." Sonny sighed.

The brothers joined Discord in his home.

"Sorry it's such a mess." Discord told them. "I haven't had a chance to dust." He pulled out a duster, and started spreading dust everywhere. "There, that's better. Now, can I offer you some snacks?" He materialised a plate of sandwiches... with the bread inbetween what should have been the filling.

"We're good, thanks." Murray declared.

"So, how are things, big D?" Caboose inquired. "You and Isis getting along swimmingly?"

"So glad you asked." Discord smiled. "Things have been going great between myself and Isis. Just having her here is such a delight. This old house feels so much warmer. Everything seems better, actually. Isis has enriched every part of my life with her love and companionship. We are hardly every apart, spending our days out in Ponyville, having all sorts of fun, and our nights curled together by the fire... bliss. Alas, my dear Isis is in Canterlot right now, visiting her brother."

"That's too bad." Caboose frowned. "I'd love for her to meet my bros!"

"Yeah, that would be great..." Slot said sarcastically.

"Actually, it's a good thing that Isis isn't here right now." Discord's face fell. He peeked out of the windows, apparantly making sure nopony was listening in.

"Uh... what are you doing?" Salt asked.

"Yeah." Vinny nodded. "This is weird, even for you."

"I have a confession to make." Discord declared. "I didn't call you here just for socialising. I need your help."

"What's up, big D?" Caboose asked.

"Well, you see, something has been taken from me a few nights ago." Discord declared. "Something of... great value to both myself and Isis. I need you guys to get it back here before Isis gets back."

"Since when are we errand boys?" Slot snorted.

"Knock it off, Slot." Caboose scowled.

"What exactly is this 'something'?" Grimoire asked.

"And more to the point, why don't you just make another one?" Murray asked.

"I can't." Discord shrugged. "At least... not by myself."

"Must be something pretty special." Salt noted.

"It is." Discord nodded. "Irreplaceable, in fact."

"Can you describe the object?" Lars asked.

"Well... it's white and gold, about this big..." Discord held out his appendages. "Oval-shaped..."

"Oval?" Caboose gasped. "Oh, my Faust... it's an egg, isn't it?"

"I didn't say that..." Discord frowned.

"It is, though, isn't it?" Caboose grinned. "You and Isis made an egg!"

"...Okay, fine, we did." Discord nodded.

"That's so awesome!" Caboose whooped.

"And freaky..." Vinny cringed.

"How is that even possible?" Lars frowned.

"Well, I may not have a reproductive system, but Isis certainly does." Discord declared. "Just not in the traditional sense."

"Meaning?" Sonny asked.

"Basically the Serpents reproduce via the male funelling some of his magic into the female." Discord revealed. "The magics mix, forming an egg."

"Huh, kinda like ponies." Slot smirked. "Only we use-"

"I know what you use." Discord gagged. "And I'd prefer not to think about it. Now, I just did what a male serpent would do, funneling some of my own magic in there. We were a little worried it wouldn't take, but, lo and behold, Isis laid our ovoid bundle of joy about a week ago."

"Congrats, I guess." Murray shrugged.

"Thank you." Discord smiled. "We were quite overjoyed, ourselves."

"How did you lose it, anyway?" Grimoire asked.

"I didn't lose it." Discord declared. "It was taken. Some ponies snuck in here and stole it."

"And how did they do that?" Salt frowned, "I doubt anypony would be able to get through your front yard."

"That's what I thought." Discord scowled. "They managed to breach my realm and break into my house, all without my noticing. They would have to be packing some serious magic to do that. Either way, they absconded with my and Isis' offspring."

"But how can we help?" Sonny asked. "It could be anywhere."

"Actually, I know exactly where it is." Discord declared. "I can sense the raw magic within, no matter where it goes. And I know who took it."

"You do?" Murray frowned.

"Yep." Discord nodded. "It was taken by a bunch of loyalists to the late Prince Nalik-Aqqbar Royale."

"Him?" Caboose snorted.

"Yes, him." Discord nodded. "They somehow managed to breach my realm, grab the egg, and take it back to their hideout over in that hard-to-pronounce country of their's. No doubt as a form of punishment for my and Isis' part in the Prince's demise. They told me in a note that if I want the egg back, I have to bring Isis and Osiris to them. Otherwise, they'll use it for some sick experiment."

"Then why don't you go and kick their butts?" Salt asked.

"Because I can't." Discord declared. "Their hideout has some kind of magic that keeps me from entering. Presumably the same magic that almost disillusioned Osiris into... well, you know..."

"Murdering every non-Unicorn?" Caboose said bluntly.

"Yes." Discord deadpanned. "Anyhow, I need you to go in and get the egg, before those fiends can have their wicked ways with it."

"Us?" Vinny asked.

"Of course." Discord nodded. "From what Caboose has told me, this kind of op is right up your alley."

"It sure is!" Caboose smiled. "Right, guys?"

The other brothers looked unsure.

"Look, Caboose." Grimoire frowned. "Granted, the egg probably shouldn't be left in the hooves of those nuts, but we may not be the best ponies for the job."

"Yeah." Sonny nodded. "Why don't you call your buddies in the Royal Guard?"

"NO!" Discord yelled. "Nopony else can know about this! It's one small step from the Royal Guard to the Princesses, and then to Isis! And Osiris..." He shuddered. "He doesn't even know about the egg. I made Isis promise to keep it a secret."

"Look, we'd like to help." Vinny declared. "But you caught us at a real bad time."

"He did?" Grimoire frowned.

"With respect, we must decline." Lars stated.

"With respect, I'm not giving you a choice." Discord said bluntly.

Snapping his fingers, Discord transported them all to a back alley in Schwartzamungaknackerhobblestan's (new name pending) capital city, Tehrein.

"Oh no, he didn't!" Slot growled.

"Oh yes, he did." Murray sighed.

"Discord, send us back!" Grimoire growled.

"Not until you get the egg." Discord crossed his arms petulantly.

"Why, you-!" Slot scowled. He leapt at Discord, only for the Draconequus to disappear. As he crashed into the dirt, Discord reappeared behind him.

"Look, this won't be so hard, anyway." He announced. "These are just a hoofful of idiots who don't want to accept that this Project: Transcendence of theirs is good and dead. You can handle them no problem."

"You think we'd take on those nuts after you brought us here against our will?" Salt snarled. "Forget it!"

"You know, you shouldn't be that way." Discord frowned. "Especially considering I'm your only ride home."

"...He has a point." Lars noted.

"Come on, guys." Caboose urged. "I'll bet it'll be easy!"

"Well, since we don't seem to have a choice, we may as well do it." Grimoire sighed.

"Fantastic." Discord grinned. "Glad you finally see things my way." He snapped his fingers, causing several objects to materialise in the brothers' hooves. "Here's everything you need: Maps, guard schedules, the code to unlock the security to the main room..."

"How'd you find that out?" Vinny asked.

"I peeked in the window." Discord shrugged. "Oh, and here." He made an odd-shaped bell appear in Grimoire's hooves. "When you have accomplished your mission, ring the bell, and I'll come fetch you."

"Wait, you're not staying?" Murray frowned.

"Of course not." Discord shook his head. "Isis will be home any second. I've got to keep her from finding out the egg is gone. That's my mission, and this is yours. Good luck!"

Discord vanished, leaving the brothers alone.

"Okay, guess we're breaking into some heavily-guarded fortress and taking back an egg." Grimoire said nonchalantly.

"See?" Caboose smiled. "I told you we could do it!"

"Maybe you should sit this one out." Vinny suggested.

"Yeah." Murray agreed. "You're not getting any younger, y'know."

"Excuse me?" Grimoire frowned. "I may be a little rusty, but I can still handle an op like this in my sleep!"

"But-" Lars started.

"But nothing." Grimoire growled. "We're doing this together. Unless you're just going to leave me in the crowded streets of a foreign, possible hostile country?"

"Okay, fine." Salt sighed. "Let's do it."

"Good." Grimoire pulled out the map. "The place should be just around the corner."

As Grimoire led the others, Vinny turned to the others.

"This is exactly what we don't need right now." He whispered. "Grim's in no condition for this."

"Well, it's not like we can stop him." Sonny pointed out. "Getting that egg's our one ticket home, and like it or not, we gotta get it together."

"Let's just hope Grim isn't that far along." Murray whispered. "We need him as close to his best as possible."

"Hurry up, boys!" Grimoire yelled. "The sooner we get there, the sooner we get it done!"

"You heard the stallion." Caboose nodded. "Let's go!"

The brothers continued on, a bad feeling floating among them.

The map led him to a disused office building, one with mystic runes painted on it. Two stallions stood guard outside.

"Okay, boys." Grimoire declared. "We head in on the east side. We slip in past the guards, then head down the southern corridor to the main room. Then we input the code, grab the egg, and leave."

"Sounds simple enough..." Salt admitted.

"Let's hope so." Slot frowned.

The brothers snuck around the back, keeping to the shadows.

"Okay, here we go..." Grimoire walked over.

"Wait, I thought you said we were going to the east side?" Sonny pointed out.

"Oh, right." Grimoire nodded. "My bad..."

The brothers shared worried looks as they travelled to the east side.

"Slot, you're up." Grimoire instructed.

"You got it." Slot pulled out a lockpick, opening the door.

The brothers snuck in, carefully sticking to the side corridors.

"Okay, now down the..." Grimoire frowned.

"Southern corridor." Murray stated.

"Right, that." Grimoire declared.

As they made their way through, Salt spotted a guard around the corner.

"I got 'im." He smirked.

Salt grabbed the guard, beat him up, and pulled him into a broom closet.

"Too easy." He gloated.

Lars distracted another guard by rolling a Bit over to him. As the guard kneeled down to investigate, Lars karate-chopped him in the neck, knocking him out.

"Not exactly top-notch terrorist material, are they?" He smirked.

Slowly but surely, they made their way to the back room, dealing with any guards they found. Murray grabbed a doorstop, and using pinpoint accuracy, threw it at the back of a guard's head, knocking him out.

They shrank back into the shadows as another guard approached. The second he passed, Slot leapt out and struck him from behind, neutralising him. Sonny, Caboose and Vinny did the same with three others. But when Grimoire's time came, he mistimed his ambush, leading at the guard's hooves.

"...Whoops." He cringed.

"Intru-!" The guard started, before Grimoire tackled him.

The two struggled on the floor. Grimoire's blows weren't as accurate as usual. In fact, they were flying wild. The guard's blows were right on target, though. She began to pummel Grimoire, until Murray tackled him from behind, and knocked him out with a solid kick.

"What did you do that for?" Grimoire frowned. "I had him."

"Sure you did, Grim." Murray nodded. "I was just making sure."

Eventually, they found themselves at the desired door, combination lock upon.

"Okay, time to put in the code." Grimoire declared. "7682648."

The lock didn't open.

"Huh." Grimoire frowned. "I was sure that was the right combination."

"I have the code right here." Lars held up the paper. "I can-"

"No, I can do it." Grimoire insisted. He typed in another wrong combination. "Buck!"

"Seriously, the code is-" Sonny started.

"Don't tell me." Grimoire said stubbornly, trying another combination. "I'll get it... damn!"

"Come on, Grim." Caboose urged. "Let us help you."

"I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP!" Grimoire suddenly exploded.

In mere moments, a squad of crossbow carrying ponies raced over.

"...Whoops." Grimoire cringed.

"Hooves up, intruders!" The leader yelled. "What do you think you're doing here?"

"We came to get the egg you stole!" Caboose yelled.

"Oh, really?" The leader smirked. "Well, tough luck. It's ours now."

"You slimeballs." Murray scowled. "It's just a helpless egg. Leave it out of you vendetta."

"That egg is the product of the two creatures who brought about the death of our glorious Prince Nalik!"

"Please!" Caboose snorted. "The guy was a jerk!"

"He was a visionary!" The leader declared. "And those he worked with shared that vision!"

"Who?" Caboose frowned.

"Whoever they were, they were probably just as tweaked as he was." Slot sneered.

"How dare you!" The guard yelled. "You will all pay the price for your transgression! Execute them!"

The guards cocked their crossbows.

"Nice knowing ya, guys." Vinny cringed.

"We're not finished yet." Murray declared. "Grim, ring the bell!"

"Gladly." Grimoire rang the bell. However, nothing happened.

"What the-?" Salt frowned.

"Oh, come on!" Lars yelled.

"Can't believe Discord left us in the lurch!" Slot yelled.

"No, he'd never..." Caboose started.

"Enough stalling." The leader snarled. "Face your deaths with dignity."

"You obviously don't know us very well." Murray snarked.

Suddenly, a loud roar shook the entire building, causing most of the windows to shatter.

"...What was that?" The leader murmured.

"Oh, boy, I know that roar..." Caboose mused.

In an instant, the wall behind Nalik's loyalists collapsed, as a titanic black serpent slithered his way forward.

"What the buck?!" Grimoire gasped.

"What is that?!" Sonny yelped.

"Guys, relax!" Caboose smiled. "It's Osiris. The Serpent Deity of Death."

"You." The leader snarled. "You're the one that slayed our leader!"

"Your leader was a madpony who tried to pervert my power for his own twisted goals." Osiris growled. "For that, he needed to be put down like the rabid beast he was.."

"That's rich coming from you, monster." The leader spat. "And how did you get through our runes?"

"You need to do more research." Osiris smirked. "Those particular runes were only meant to keep spirits like Discord out, not Deities like myself."

"No matter." The leader declared. "You will surrender to us, or we will destroy the egg!"

"Not if I kill you first." Osiris retorted, baring his fangs.

"Come and get me!" The leader snarled, though in reality, he was practically quivering with fear, "You will pay for what you did to Prince Na-!"

Osiris suddenly lunged forward and ate the leader whole.

"By Faust!" Another guard yelled.

The black serpent held his head high and gulped, as the now screaming pony was swallowed. Osiris let out a small burp.

"Holy..." Murray gulped.

"...Buck." Salt finished.

"He ate him." Sonny gasped. "He really ate him!"

"In one bite." Lars added.

"Didn't even need to wash him down." Vinny declared.

"Nasty." Slot added.

"I've never seen anything like it..." Grimoire declared.

"I have." Caboose cringed.

"Eck..." Osiris grimaced. "I hate the taste of scum."

"You... you will pay for that!" The head guard yelled. "You will suffer for that!"

"Don't push me, little stallion. I came here because you stole something of great value to my sister." Osiris growled. "Either return the egg, or you shall all pay with your lives."

"Never! Kill it!" The guard yelled at the others.

The guards fired their crossbows, but they bounced off Osiris' scales.

"My turn." Osiris spat.

Osiris descended upon the guards, brutally massacring them. He created an orb of purple energy and flung it at them, incinerating an entire line of soldiers.

"Eat this!" Another pony made to throw a bomb.

"Sorry, your leader was unusally filling." Osiris deadpanned. He fired a beam that cleanly destroyed the upper half of the pony's body.

"Charge!" Another guard yelled.

"Not today." Osiris pointed a claw at him.

"Ahhh!" The guard suddenly clutched his chest, and collapsed to the ground.

"What did you-Urghhh!" Another fell to the ground as Osiris pointed at him.

"How dare-urk!" A thrird went down.

As others made to attack from behind, Osiris ensnared them in his coils, crushing the life out of them. He then waved a claw, sending a shockwave that flung more guards against the wall, reducing them to pulp.

The Napoleons, who had seen their fair share of massacres, were totally shocked, having never seen such brutality.

"Holy buck..." Grimoire gasped.

"No way." Murray cringed.

"Ugh..." Salt gagged.

"That's just..." Vinny frowned.

"Horrific." Lars declared.

"I think I'm gonna puke." Sonny grimaced.

"That guy's a monster..." Slot declared.

"No." Caboose said flatly. "That's Osiris."

In mere moments, the ponies were all dead. Osiris turned to the Napoleons, who all cringed under his gaze as he slowly approached them.

"Are you all alright?" Osiris asked.

"Yeah, sure." Grimoire nodded, face ashen.

"Personally, I think I'm gonna puke." Murray cringed.

"Me too." Salt nodded.

"That was.. indescribable." Lars gulped.

"No kidding." Vinny agreed.

"just like old times." Caboose shuddered.

"...I've wet myself." Sonny admitted.

"Normally, I'd laugh." Slot declared. "But I'm too scared."

"Alright then." Osiris nodded. "On to my next question: What are you all doing here?"

"We were... trying to get Discord and Isis's egg back." Grimiore declared, trying to regain his poise, though visibly shaken by what he saw. "But..."

"Say no more." Osiris nodded. "I thank you for trying. But I'm afraid your services weren't required."

Osiris turned to the door, and with his bare claws, tore it open.

"Guess he doesn't go for manicures." Slot quipped.

Inside the room was the egg; A large, golden-shelled oval.

"There it is." Osiris smiled.

"Aww, it's so cute!" Caboose squeed.

"Um, dude, it's a egg." Slot frowned.

"The cutest egg ever!" Caboose cooed.

Osiris picked up the egg in his claws.

"Fascinating." Osiris examined it. "Such life, brimming within. A hybrid being. I didn't think it was possible..."

At that point, Discord suddenly appeared.

"Eheh... hey, guys." Discord waved nervously.

"What happened?" Murray asked. "I thought you were gonna keep them busy!"

"Yeah, they saw right through me." Discord shrugged. "Osiris had decided to come with Isis, and when they found out the egg was missing... well, it wasn't pretty."

"Needless to say, I insisted on getting involved." Osiris declared, as he frowned at Discord, "Had I not been here sooner, I would had to cut all your threads prematurely, and that would account to weeks of organizing all those years wasted."

"But hey, it all worked out in the end, right?" Discord shrugged.

"On that, I can agree." Osiris nodded, "And the egg is just fine." He passed the egg to Discord, "Try to keep a tighter grip on it this time."

"Duly noted." Discord nodded, as he flick his free hand, "Let's go home!"

A flash of light later, and they were all in Discord's house again. Isis was there, glaring at Discord.

"Discord..." Isis growled.

"Um, ta-daa?!" Discord said sheepishly, holding out the egg.

Isis immediately snatched the egg out of Discord's arms and cradled it, like some crazed mama-bird.

"Look, Isis, I didn't mean-" Discord began.

"What the buck, Discord?!" Isis suddenly glared at Discord, "I leave you for only a week, and not only did me and my brother find that OUR egg is gone, but that you try to cover it up by sending seven old former mobsters, and one... slightly not as old former mobster to get it back."

"Hey, we are not that old!" Murray crossed his hooves.

"And Caboose is not that young, jeez!" Slot glared.

"I can't believe you let this happen!" Isis yelled at Discord. "Our egg, our child, and you let it get taken! I thought I could trust you!"

"Looks like somepony's in the doghouse." Vinny smirked.

"Look, I'm sorry I lost the egg." Discord sighed. "And I'm sorry I tried to lie to you. I just... didn't want to worry you. But we got it back!"

"Correction. I got it back." Osiris growled, "And I am also not happy that my niece or nephew almost got taken by vengeful mortals... plus the fact that I had to find out that I had a niece or nephew from this whole debacle."

"Yeah, I was hoping to break the news at a time I felt you could take it..." Discord declared. "Didn't want you ripping off my arms in anger, you know?"

"Somehow, that seems almost appealing right now." Isis glared, still angry.

"I really am sorry." Discord sighed. "I blew it. I'm going to be a lousy father. I couldn't protect the egg in my own home. Not a good start, really... I'm going to keep messing up, aren't I?"

"No, you won't." Isis gave a soothing smile. "I'm still mad that this happened... but mostly, I am just relieved that our future child is safe...and touched that it's father went to such lengths just to get it back."

"Thanks, dear." Discord smiled, before turning to Osiris, "And I am sorry about this, too, Osiris."

"I suppose you couldn't have forseen it." Osiris admitted. "But honestly, I am looking forward to becoming an uncle.

"Um, hello?" Grimiore stepped forth. "I believe you owe us an apology for forcing us to go on this nearly-doomed mission."

"And for the bell that didn't work!" Slot roared.

"Of course, I'm sorry that I put you all through that." Discord cringed. "But... a dad's gotta do what a dad's gotta do, right? I mean, surely some of you have kids of yours own now, right? Wouldn't you do anything to help them?"

"I certainly would." Grimoire admitted.

"Yeah, me too." Salt nodded.

"I probably will, when my little foal's born." Murray declared.

"In a heartbeat." Sonny nodded.

"And FYI, the bell didn't work, because I was too busy being chewed out by Osiris. But don't worry, for putting your lives on the line, no thanks to me, I will give you this." Discord flicked his finger, and suddenly, a card appear in front of Grimiore, who took it.

"...A gift card?" Grimiore frowned.

"No, more like a 'get out of jail/get out of being tortured/get out of falling in a volcano/get out of pretty much any dire situation card." Discord declared. "A favor if you will. Just use magic on this card to call me and I will do one thing for you, which can be anything... that is within legal limits."

"Well, I guess that's... kinda worth it." Murray shrugged.

"But for now, how about we go home?" Slot asked.

"Of course." Discord nodded.

The brothers were flashed back to the mansion.

"Well, that was... an experience." Lars frowned.

"No kiddin'." Slot snorted.

"If you guys don't mind, I'd like some time alone to rest." Grimoire declared. "Long day, you know..."

"Of course." Vinny nodded. "Let's go, guys..."

As they walked to the train station, the brothers shared their worries.

"You guys all saw that, right?" Sonny asked. "The forgetfulness..."

"The temper..." Salt declared.

"We could have been killed because of that." Murray declared. "And it's not even the worse part... not yet."

"How bad do you think it's gonna get?" Caboose asked.

"No clue." Slot shook his head.

"Oh, Grim..." Vinny sighed. "What's going to become of you?"

The brothers spent the journey back to their homes (and the rest of the day), worrying about their brother, and just how far he still had to fall...

'So, that was an interesting little diversion. My condition almost got us all killed. But the egg was returned, and Discord owes us a favour, which could come in useful down the line. That is, if I'm still alive when we call it in...'