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The Pony Next Door

by HapHazred

Chapter 1: The Pony Next Door


Stev' sat down heavily at his desk, sweeping the clutter off his keyboard. He shuffled papers, stamps, staplers, and other various items of stationery into his drawers.

Holidays don't last forever, he thought. It was a pity: he really had enjoyed making friends.

Once his table was clear of rubbish, he gave a satisfied grunt.

"I'm about to write that letter, dear!" he shouted, his rather bulky frame allowing for a great, booming voice. "Is there anything you'd like to say?"

"A letter?!" his wife shouted back. Although it had gotten just the slightest bit raspy with age, Stev' could still recognize the lively melodies in her voice he had fallen in love with years ago. She had quite a distinctive sound, he thought. "Don't they have email... wherever she lives?"

"I don't think so," Stev' replied. "She distinctly said letter."

The door of his small, yet cosy, office swung open. His wife, Shirley, was a tall woman, who had grown a bit skinny with time. Her expression, typically stern, could flicker to a heart-warming smile in a split-second. Despite not working that day, she was wearing a lab coat: it was likely she was playing with her chemistry set again. As a woman fascinated with chemistry and science working in forensics, it was an understandable hobby.

"How peculiar," she replied. "Well, wish her the very best: she was excellent company."

Stev' smiled. "You say that about everybody."

"Well, it's true," she replied haughtily. "She was great fun. Very pleasant indeed, and very intelligent too."

It's funny who you make friends with, Stev' reflected. Then again, I've met some equally strange humans...

He picked up his pen (a tool he didn't use as much as he wanted to) and slid a sheet of paper in front of him. Touching the ball of the pen on paper, he hesitated a second. Once he was satisfied with what he wanted to write, he began to scribble across the paper, writing neatly and concisely.

Dear...


Saturday was always a slow day, but a relaxing one. The ageing man was relaxing, eyes half closed, on a garish orange lounger on his lawn. He was lazily reading a book clasped between his hands... or rather, two books. To the casual observer, he was reading an intelligent science-fiction story his daughter had bought him... and granted, it was a gripping read. However, carefully inserted between the pages was a book he was far more interested in finishing: the third instalment of the Hearts and Hands series. It was a cheap but enjoyable romantic adventure he had become quite taken with since inadvertently discovering it a few months earlier.

Although he'd tell his wife and family pretty much everything, he had decided against revealing what he was reading. Good-natured or otherwise, he didn't feel like being teased.

He let his thoughts wander: to his job, briefly, before he decided that today of all days, he didn't want to have anything to do with business. Then to the barbecue next Wednesday... before he eventually settled on his daughter, far away in a distant city.

Before long, he was interrupted by a sudden noise, causing him look up from his book. It was the sound of tyres on gravel, Stev' realized instinctively.

The source of the sound was a large taxi that pulled over in front of the house next door: a small bungalow that Stev' remembered was being rented out over this season as a holiday home.

Is somebody going to be staying there? he wondered. The town he lived in was small, and seldom had visitors who weren't hikers or on their way to a larger city or resort. In fact, it was a wonder that the town was large enough for the unassuming business Stev' managed at all.

The taxi driver got out and quickly jogged around to the boot of the car: no doubt to extract his passenger's luggage, Stev' suspected. The passenger in question opened the door of the car and stepped out: stopping to stretch her legs and breathe in the fresh, unpolluted country air.

Stev's jaw dropped. Most people, when they stretched their legs, only ever stretched two.

What on earth...

The taxi driver, seemingly oblivious to the... unusual shape of his passenger, lifted the luggage out and offered to carry it to the house.

"Oh, thank you: that would be wonderful."

Stev' squinted. Was that a horse?

And more alarmingly: did it just talk?

"No problem, miss," the driver replied. The horse (it was definitely a horse) trotted (because horses trotted, instead of jogged, Stev' recalled) after him, absent-mindedly admiring the country view, oblivious to the fact that it was... well, a horse.

Stev' wondered if he had been transported to some strange fairy-tale, where talking animals were commonplace. Not a second later did he hear the window snap open.

"I heard a car!" Shirley exclaimed excitedly. "Who is it?" She glanced down at Stev's book. "Still reading smut?"

Stev' shut the book with a sudden snap, his poorly shaven cheeks going bright red. Of course, it made sense his wife knew, he realized. She was too smart to hide anything from.

Shirley's eyes flickered to the horse trotting up to the bungalow next door. The change was instantaneous: her jaw dropped and the corners of her lips split into a wild, uncontrollable grin. "Oh, goodness."

Stev' knew that look: he had seen it multiple times when his wife had been confronted with several 'fascinating' devices or animals. He knew from experience that it would be an uphill battle to keep her away from her scalpel.

"Now, now, dear... it looks sentient, so it wouldn't be neighbourly—..."

Shirley turned her attention back to her husband, like she had only just then noticed him. Instantly she became cartoonishly manipulative, and her voice became sickly sweet. "Stev', you know I love you, ri-i-ight?"

"I don't think it would be polite to dissect it."

Shirley rolled her eyes in mock outrage. She even went as far as putting her hand on her chest, over her heart. "Why, I would never! But it would be very unkind of us to not welcome this wonderful..." Shirley peered at the horse again. "...unicorn... to our splendid little town, right?"

Stev' looked over at the horse again, pondering the issue. On any other day, he'd have refused, but something about his wife's uncontrollable curiosity was contagious. Not to mention, it would be a neighbourly gesture...

Then the horse waved at him, a happy, innocent smile gracing her inhuman features. Shirley grinned at Stev', victoriously.

"Well, you can't pretend she doesn't exist now," she pointed out. "Go on! I'll be here, taking notes!"


Walking over towards fence separating the gardens, Stev' found he wasn't afraid at all: only curious. Probably his wife's influence, he thought... not to mention his daughter. The horse tilted her head to the side (Stev' assumed it was a lady-horse, for some reason), waiting for him to get close enough to talk.

Back in Stev's house, Shirley was practically beside herself with glee.

"Uh, hello!" Stev' began lamely. "Are you on holiday here?"

The horse, a pristine white animal with eyes that positively glistened with intellect, nodded politely.

"Why, yes. I'm taking some time off work," the horse replied. "Thank you for taking the time to say hello. I assume you live here?"

Stev' gestured to his house with a small smile. "Yup', been here for the past fifteen years since we moved from the big city," he said. "It's a really nice spot, you know: the country is just gorgeous."

The horse nodded in agreement. "It seems very peaceful. I'm sure I'll enjoy myself here."

Stev' shrugged. "Well, it might get boring rather quickly," he confessed. "There's only so many hikes you take before..."

"Oh, I don't think I should get bored here," the horse replied with a heartfelt smile. "I specifically came here to get away from adventure."

"Stressful job, I take it?"

"Quite. I'm in charge of a lot back home, and responsibility does take it's toll."

Stev's eyes lit up as he found common ground. "No kidding! I'm a manager, myself, so I can certainly understand. It's a family business, though, so I do share the load some."

The horse's eyes lit up with interest, making Stev' wonder how such a clearly magical creature could be so fascinated with something as trivial as a family owned business.

"That is a coincidence: I work with my sister: she was the one who suggested I take this holiday, in fact: she's quite eager to take care of matters on her own for a change."

From Stev's house, Shirley began to regret her decision of staying behind: she was burning with curiosity, and wanted to be part of the conversation herself. Stev', on the other hand, was pleasantly surprised with how simple them talking was.

"Say, if you're looking for something to do, later on," he began, "Me and some of the fellows from the town were having a barbecue later on. I'm sure you'd be very welcome there."

The horse raised an eyebrow, curious. "It has been a while since I've enjoyed an informal meal..."

Whilst the horse was pondering the issue, Stev' was wondering why he had thought mixing the village idiots with a magical unicorn (with wings, as he had just this moment noticed) was a good idea. But it was too late to back out of the offer, and the horse nodded decisively.

"I accept: I was quite convinced I would find something to pass the time pleasantly, and I believe that this is it. I shall need a time and a place."

"Uh... here, actually. This year, it'll be in my front yard," he said, glancing back at Shirley, scribbling everything she saw down. "I'll be looking forward to seeing you there, miss... horse."

"Pony, if you don't mind. And you can call me Celestia."

"Stev'," he replied, extending his hand. Celestia graciously took it with her hoof. "Nice meeting you."


In the days that passed, every time Stev' looked outside, he saw the pony lounging outside, calmly relaxing and taking in the fresh air, as if deep in meditation. She didn't seem to want anything, and only ever went on short walks... or flights, which Stev' had to admit was quite exceptional to see.

Shirley had calmed down, her initial curiosity replaced with far more stable reflection. Where had Celestia come from, she asked, and how come she hadn't heard of it?

All Stev' could think of was how his friends would react. They were usually quite unflappable (Reggie showing them his misshapen twelfth toe had made them accustomed to seeing the strange and unexpected) but how could he expect them to take this so easily? That said, he wasn't panicking any more... in fact, he was surprised by how quickly he had become accustomed to having a talking equine as a neighbour... she really was quite polite.

She acted like a cultured, elegant old lady... not unlike Shirley's aunt Claire, he thought. Rich, generous, kind, and wise... if a little eccentric. This was Shirley's side of the family after all, and they were all a little odd.

Stev's work was tiring, but otherwise uneventful. Small concerns popped up, but thankfully no large problem surfaced for him to deal with. Even so, he had to admit he understood why Celestia might want time off, if her job was anything like his. And then, at the peak of his working week, Wednesday came.

Everybody he knew was there that evening: his friends from the rugby club, Reggie and his disturbing feet, the book club, Harold and his children... this was an event the whole town enjoyed.

And right next to the grill was Celestia, her horn glowing like the sun reflected off it's surface, even though it was late evening and the light was dimming. The coal flickered to life, as if by magic, and gave off a perfect amount of heat. She smiled.

"I understand that it's usually a tradition to wait hours for the fire to start, but I confess I'm feeling a bit peckish."

Shirley gave an audible gasp, much like a kid learning that their new toy had a laser feature. "Is that a deathray?" she asked.

Sometimes Stev' wondered how she was a grown woman at all. Although, if she didn't act so childish, there was a big chance he wouldn't be so taken with her.

And, to Stev's surprise, nobody thought twice about it, like it was a normal occurrence. When he asked Harold about it, his reply was:

"When I encounter something weird, I just take a deep breath, and remind myself that I put up with my kids antics, which is a miracle in itself," he joked. "Not to mention, have you seen Reggie's twelfth toe?"

The evening then proceeded as it always did: Shirley set off some home-made (and distinctly unsafe) fireworks, Harold chased after his children, and they talked. A lot.

Eventually, Stev' got close enough to exchange a few words with his strange guest.

"I'm sorry this isn't all that exciting," he began, but was cut off before he could finish his polite apology.

"Oh, please don't be. I really have had my fill of excitement these past years," she said, suddenly looking far more tired than she usually did. "I may not look it, but I'm really quite old."

She glanced at Stev' and chuckled. "But I imagine you don't want to hear some old mare go on about her personal problems. Do tell me about yourself: I'm curious."

Stev' shrugged. "Well, I'm Stev', as you already know. Short for Steven. I love my family... and apart from that, I'm really quite boring."

Miss Pony beamed, and took a careful bite out of her vegetarian burger. "I feel the same way... Except my family is quite a bit larger, I reckon. More than I can even count."

"Oh, you haven't seen our family tree! Relatives as far as the eye can see!" Stev' joked. "Of course, Shirley's is the more interesting side. My wife, I mean."

"You seem to care quite a bit about her."

"I do: it's become a bit stranger since my daughter has left home for school," Stev' admitted. "She reminds me of her mother a lot. She's irrepressibly curious and intelligent. I'm just sad that letting her be herself means sending her away to some big fancy school in the city."

Celestia's expression turned melancholic.

"A smart young mare who's left home... sounds familiar," she replied, sadly. "Once again, I'm in quite the same situation. The more I want for my pupil, the further she seems to become," she confessed, before forcing a quiet, underplayed smile back onto her lips. "I'm glad I was able to take the time to collect my thoughts. And I'm equally glad to have met a new friend here, too."

Stev' grinned. "Likewise." He gestured at the burgers on the grill. "I'd have thought, being a pony, you'd be a bit shocked at what we eat."

The pony gave a wry smile. "Oh, after seeing the Griffon delegates eat at peace summits, I've acquired quite a strong stomach," she said. Stev' gave her a confused look.

"Delegates?"

The pony nodded. "Perhaps I should explain what I do for a living..."


Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm very glad to have met you, and so is my wife (although I confess she's still trying to figure out how you lit the barbecue, and is beginning to frighten me) and my only real regret is that you weren't able to meet my daughter, who will be back next week-end.

I understand that you're very busy, but even if it was just for a short time, we really enjoyed meeting you, and I like to keep in touch with people I meet. I hope your country is doing fine, and if ever your job gets too stressful, we'd love to see you here again sometime. It really does take forever to light the barbecue without you. (ha ha)

I also hope that your student is doing well in her studies (I certainly hope my daughter is doing fine too) and if she's anything like you, she'll have a wonderful life ahead of her.

Send us a postcard of Ponyland your home!

Your new friends,

Steven and Shirley

PS: I've enclosed a picture of that foot you were curious about. Just be sure not to look at it for too long.


The End

Author's Notes:

Hello! Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this little 3K word one-shot.

There are a few things I'd like to say about this story, if you're interested.

The first is that this is an entry for the Everfree Northwest contest on 'new friends'. My first thought was how many friends I've made whilst abroad, and I decided that this was a nice idea to explore a bit. I also wanted to write Celestia for a change, since there's a bit of a difference in opinion as to how she's portrayed in the fandom. She's either a malevolent tyrant, a devious cake addict, a wise teacher, or a mopey monarch. So, less a divide and more a criss-crossing mess of crevasses replete with geysers, really.

I understand that 3K words isn't a lot, and I wouldn't have minded writing something a bit longer in, say, 5K, but I have a limit and I hope I stuck enough story in the tight space given for it to work. I do like Celestia a lot, and whilst I like poking fun at her as much as the next guy, I do feel a bit bad when she's portrayed as this evil scheming tyrant. In short, I felt like she could use a holiday, so here she is.

I also understand that, well, this story may be less about making new friends than it is about Celestia herself. Well, I like to see it as what kind of person Celestia would make friends with, and that when given five minutes to catch her breath, she's as outgoing and able to connect with people as everyone else. At the very least, my intent is there.

If you liked the story, please upvote, since it'll encourage more people to read it. Please comment with criticism or, if you're in the mood, praise my brilliance (or condemn my failures, whichever comes first).

In any case, this one's for you, 'Tia. Let her eat cake!

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