Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 24 - Epilogue 1

The light that spread across Trixie’s prone form and forced her awake was cool, and seemed to spread gradually, more like fog than actual light. As her eyes fluttered open, she saw the Palace ruins around her, lit brilliantly by the full moon’s light –

Moonlight!

Ditzy: Eat that horrible evil sun!

Doctor: To celebrate, Princess Luna let Equestria go an entire month without sunlight!

Trixie was almost instantly on all four hooves,

Ditzy: She started prancing around in the moonlight with glee.

and almost immediately thereafter had fallen back on her side after her body took the time to remind her that she was exhausted,

Ditzy: (Body) If you aren’t drinking yourself into a stupor, you’re working yourself to death! Why can’t you care about my needs for once? When is the last time you’ve had a decent night’s sleep?

Doctor: (Trixie) Shut up body! I do whatever I want!

drained both mentally and magically, and in all ways should not be trying to move as she just did.

Doctor: Now she might not be able to walk right ever again.

The blue unicorn took a few deep breaths to steady herself, then climbed onto her hooves at a more measured pace, casting her gaze upwards. Greeting her vision was a star-studded night sky, with a moon hanging high overhead. The moon looked different, however – emblazoned on it was a new pattern that had never been there before,

Doctor: It had the Wacky Hut logo on it. They were trying a new type of marketing.

a series of dark patches in the shape of a unicorn’s head and horn. Even as Trixie watched, however, the pattern disappeared in a flash.

Doctor: Hmm…. Would it really work like that though? Corona sealed Luna away with a spell and normally it continues even after the caster is dead. Unless this was one that could only work by continuously being feed Corona’s power.

“Huh,” Raindrops said. Trixie looked, and saw her companions – her friends – beginning to pick themselves up as well. “Wonder what that was all – whoa!” Raindrops had to leap backwards as two streaks, one mint green and white and the other pale gray and blonde, whipped past her, nearly bowling her over. As it stood, she was still clipped and sent staggering.

Neither Ditzy Doo nor Lyra seemed to notice as they rushed over to the collapsed foals and older ponies.

Ditzy: (Snorts) Some friends.

Trixie’s heart fluttered at the sight of so many fallen ponies,

Doctor: Hold on. Weren’t they just surrounded by fire? Why did they collapse?

and she rushed forward, her remaining friends following. She doubted that the Elements could have possibly harmed them,

Ditzy: Especially considering it wasn’t even aimed at them.

but Corona hadn’t seemed particularly cautious with her spell-casting prior to the end…

Ditzy: Some ponies had antlers or a fifth leg.

even as those dark thoughts seeped into her mind, however, they were dispelled, as the merely unconscious foals and mares and stallions began to wake up, completely unharmed.

Doctor: Phew, even though that is meaningless to us considering we have no idea who these characters even are.

Though for two of them, at least, that looked like it may have been only a temporary thing. Lyra had found BonBon just as the mare had gotten her hooves under her, and impacted against her with slightly less speed than an unladen train engine with its furnace burning hotter than the fires of Tartaros, sending the two tumbling

Ditzy: Off a cliff.

and ending with Lyra pinning BonBon to the ground, her lips pressed firmly to her love’s.

Ditzy: You know guys. This would have been the perfect spot to have the two confess their love instead of shoehorning it at the beginning.

Dinky Daisy Doo, meanwhile, once found by her mother, “suffered” a similar fate,

Ditzy: Eww!

Doctor: Ugh, this took a disturbing turn.

scooped up into the pegasus mare’s forelegs and held tightly against Ditzy’s chest,

Doctor: Phew.

Ditzy: Oh, nevermind.

Ditzy showing no signs of ever intending to let her daughter go.

Ditzy: And so Daisy spent the next 20 years living with her mom who refused to let her out of her sight.

Tears were in no short supply, but they were tears of joy, not sorrow.

“Is everypony alright?” Cheerilee asked, as the rest of Trixie’s friends caught up to the group. Cheerilee moved quickly into the mass of foals, most of whom gathered around her familiar face, though several remained with the other adults, the ones “lucky” enough to have had relatives kidnapped by Corona as well.

Ditzy: I don’t know about that. It makes a good story to tell at a bar.

“Is anypony hurt?” As the foals all shook their heads or confirmed that they were alright – though scared –

Doctor: And might need quite a bit of therapy.

Cheerilee looked to Carrot Top and Raindrops, who were amongst the mares and stallions.

Ditzy: Using their hero status as a way to get dates.

“How about them?”

“Fine,” Raindrops announced as the adults all confirmed that they were alright. “Everypony’s okay.”

Trixie let out a sigh of relief at that, though her elation was short-lived as she forced her sleep-deprived mind – being forced to unconsciousness was not the same thing, as it turned out – to press forward.

Doctor: (Trixie) Thanks Elements of Harmony! You can cure poison joke, but not fatigue?

First – she searched the ground near where she had fallen, and found her hat.

Ditzy: Thank Celestia! I was terrified she might have lost it!

It was covered in dirt and hoof-marks, a little frayed, and still somewhat damp, but Trixie ignored this as she removed the tiara she still wore –

Doctor: Yes, get rid of your beautiful all powerful crown for your ugly half-destroyed hat.

all her friends were, in fact, wearing the jewelry that the Elements had manifested as – and put her hat back on her head.

Ditzy: Why the hay is she still wearing that thing? It hardly seems worth it at this point. Can she go a minute without wearing that thing?

Doctor: Hey. She has a style and she’s keeping to it.

After a moment’s consideration, she slipped the tiara on over it, and found to her surprise that the ornament fit rather snugly on her wizard’s hat, almost as though it was designed to be there.

Ditzy: Hint hint. Get it? Get it?

Doctor: Perfect for toy deals.

That important part having been taken care of, Trixie turned her attentions to the next-most important matter.

Ditzy: Taking selfies of her new look?

“Zecora,” she said, trotting forward and looking around. “Spike. Where are they?”

There was a moment’s pause, before Raindrops took to the sky, looking around. “I don’t see them,” she announced after a moment of searching.

“Ponyfeathers,” Trixie cursed. “No use searching for them now – ”

Ditzy: (Trixie) And with luck they’ve probably been torn apart by the forest’s monsters by now!

She paused as a flash of silver-white light spread across the courtyard. The ponies there all froze, looking in horror towards the flash’s source – the ruined tower of the Palace, the same place that Corona had fallen when the beam from the Elements had finally overtaken her.

Ditzy: That’s lucky.

It was enough to tear Lyra’s eyes away from BonBon’s, and for Ditzy Doo to squeeze her daughter even tighter.

Doctor: At this point Daisy’s eyes were about to pop out of their sockets.

Ditzy: (Daisy) I hope I never get another hug as long as I live.

“No,” Carrot Top whispered. “That’s…no.”

Ditzy: (Carrot) I just want to go back to my horrible despairing boring life!

Trixie swallowed, as she looked to the formerly kidnapped mares and stallions, then to the foals, then to her friends. She grit her teeth. “Come on,” she insisted, setting off at a gallop. The other five followed her quickly, grim determination setting in.

Reaching the tower was easy, climbing it only slightly harder. The stairs were steep, but they were also stone, and had not worn away over time.

Ditzy: That and climbing stairs is horrible in general.

The stairs they climbed brought the six Elements of Harmony inside after their climb. They ended up standing in a wide chamber, its roof having long disappeared over time. At its far end was a pedestal set in front of a shattered stained-glass window.

Doctor: And, in a bit of hamfisted symbolism, it was a picture of Celestia.

Standing just inside the entrance, her back to the Elements, was a pony, taller than most stallions, deep blue in coloration, with an animate mane tail that were like flowing water catching the reflection of the star-filled sky, possessed of both wings and a horn, and with a cutie mark of a black patch of night broken by a white crescent moon –

Ditzy: But Trixie assumed it was just a trick and blasted her with the Elements of Harmony.

“Luna!” Trixie exclaimed, forgetting formal titles.

Doctor: It would be a bit awkward if Trixie cried out, “The Shepherd of the Moon, the Caretaker of the Sun, the Mistress of the Star Beasts, the Sovereign of the Three Tribes, the Ruler of the Land of Equestria…Her Royal Majesty, Princess Luna Equestris!””

Ditzy: How the heck did you remember all of that?

The Princess turned in time to see Trixie rush towards her, though the unicorn skidded to a halt before she could get too close,

Doctor: The Princess looked furious at Trixie’s rude lack of protocol.

as memories of her last conversation with the alicorn came rushing back. Her mouth opened and closed a few times before sound came out,

Ditzy: It was a belch.

and Luna took the time to look at Trixie, then to each of her friends behind her, who had all bowed in respect. “H…hello, princess.”

Luna inclined her head. “Hello, Trixie,” she responded after a moment. To the blue unicorn’s surprise, Luna seemed just as unsure as Trixie herself was as to where this conversation should be going.

Ditzy: Oh just hug already! After what you have been through, who cared about some stupid argument?

After a long bout of silence, Luna looked at the tiara on Trixie’s head. “The Element of Magic,” she noted.

Doctor: (Luna) Huh, I thought you’ld be dead since no mortal could possibly withstand the power of the Elements.

Trixie nodded. “Yes,” she confirmed. “It…it took me a little bit, but I finally figured out what you meant when you said that the sixth element was right beside me.”

Doctor: (Trixie) And all by myself too! Yep! A regular Sherlock Hooves!

Luna grinned slightly, though it was forced. “That’s…good,” she decided.

Trixie scuffed a hoof, glancing around a moment. “So…how did you know?” Trixie asked.

“Know what?” Luna inquired.

“Know about them,” Trixie responded, waving a hoof to her friends. “How did you know that they’d be beside me, five years ago? Did you know that Corona was going to escape? Was this some kind of plan, or something?”

Doctor: (Trixie) My whole life is a giant lie isn’t it?! You’ve been manipulating me since the day my grand-père died just for this moment! Heck, you might have been behind that too just to get to me!

Luna paused, a look of genuine confusion overcoming her features. It was matched, after several seconds, by Trixie’s own expression. “Trixie…” Luna explained, “I meant your cutie mark.”

Doctor: (Luna) Pfft. You thought it was friendship? Has my Night Court not taught you the folly of such things?

“Ha!” A magenta voice exclaimed.

Ditzy: You actually thought the Princess knew what she was doing and had a plan?

Trixie wasn’t certain how a voice could be magenta, but glancing behind her, she saw Cheerilee grinning broadly.

Ditzy: What.

Doctor: That’s just...nevermind. Let’s just move on.

The other five had risen from their bows, looking relieved that the silver-white flash had apparently just been Luna returning from exile on the moon, and not the signal to start another round with Corona.

Ditzy: They were low on HP and still haven’t saved yet.

Trixie turned back to her mentor. “But…” she objected. “But my cutie mark isn’t beside me! It’s on me!”

“On your side,” Luna noted.

“But not beside! This is just like that ‘always moves but never wanders’ riddle – ”

“A tree,” Carrot Top chimed in. She, along with the other ponies, made their way forward, so that they were standing next to Trixie.

Ditzy: Gazoontite

The blue unicorn glared at Carrot Top. “Trees don’t move.”

Ditzy: Groot.

Doctor: Or the Trees of Cheem just to name one.

“Yes they do,” Ditzy Doo explained. “They blow in the wind.”

“That’s doesn’t count as moving!

Doctor: Yes it does. It’s not under their own power, but they are changing position.

And even if it did, it’s not always windy so they don’t always move!”

Ditzy: So? You never said that had to be the case.

“Trixie, I heard that riddle when I was…one? Maybe?” Raindrops asked. "You're over-analzying it."

Doctor: Raindrops was smarter than you before she could even comprehend language.

“Everypony knows the answer,” Lyra added.

“I know it too, it’s just that it’s a stupid answer,” Trixie grumbled.

Ditzy: All right miss smarty pants, what should it be then?

Luna looked between the six of them, a far more genuine smile on her features at the antics of the ponies before her.

Doctor: Trixie making a fool of herself always brought a smile to the princess.

“Congratulations,” she offered, starting to incline her head,

Ditzy: This story is happy end. Thank you.

then pausing as she thought better of it. She instead backed away a few paces, and actually bowed to the six ponies. The sight was enough to leave them speechless.

All: We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!

“You saved Equestria,” Luna continued. “All of you, working together. More than that, you have earned the Elements of Harmony – No. You are the Elements, now. You restored them from their inert state, a feat even I couldn’t accomplish. And you did this in order to stand against a monster…against the Tyrant Sun, one of the worst enemies Equestria has ever had.”

Ditzy: Really? You guys have it easy! This is nothing compared to, say, the daleks.

Luna lifted herself up from her bow. Her expression had changed, her smile dropping and instead a look of melancholy coming over her features as she turned around, looking down the length of the tower’s room, as she had on first entering. “Now if you will excuse me,” Luna said grimly, “there is somepony that I must talk to.”

Doctor: The tax office about getting Carrot Top that tax extension.

---

Celestia was in a considerable amount of pain, but she was alive. She was whole. And she was not trapped once more in her sun. As the alicorn forced her eyes to open, finding herself behind a stone pillar, she began laughing, ignoring that it hurt to do so.

“H…ha!” she exclaimed, climbing to her hooves. “N-not…n-not even the Elements can…can s-stop the Sun!”

Ditzy: (Corona) Sun: 1 Elements: 0.

“You are typically the more powerful one,” Luna admitted.

Doctor: (Luna) I knew I should have taken those jazzercising classes.

Celestia’s eyes widened, and she spun around, ignoring the ache in her body as she lashed out with magic, calling down a solar flare that burned her treacherous sister’s body to a crisp –

– or that was what was supposed to happen. Instead, only a few golden sparks escaped her horn, and even that took everything Celestia had.

Ditzy: What? Isn’t she suppose to turn good now?

Doctor: Oh dear, I think I know where this is going.

She nearly fell to her knees from the effort, but she forced herself to remain standing, though with her head drooped. Pink locks of hair fell down over her eyes – her fiery mane was gone. Her eyes would no longer be glowing either, she knew, instead having reverted to reverted to normal-looking ones, with pink irises.

Ditzy: Which was good. She was tired of keeping up the effect to look cool and it made it hard for her to see.

And was it just her, or was Luna taller than she used to be…?

Doctor: Milk. It does a body good.

No – the opposite. She was shorter than Luna, the consequence of having so much magic pulled from her at once. She would still be taller than many stallions – but not all.

Ditzy: She would have a great career in Basketball.

Celestia grit her teeth and flared her wings in challenge. “S-so, sister…” she hissed. “Come…come to finish what the Elements c-could not? The s-sun again? I will escape. I will always escape! Though it take me a thousand years again, or ten thousand, or a hundred thousand! Equestria is still mine, it belongs to me!”

Doctor: (Corona) Taken it isn’t destroyed in a few years by nuclear war.

Luna just looked at her, and a terrible clarity gripped Celestia as she realized what she would do if she were Luna and had just heard Celestia proclaim that. “No!” the white alicorn exclaimed, stumbling backwards, wings beating furiously as she tried to take to the air.

Ditzy: (Corona) Anything but a ten minute monologue!

They lifted her for a moment, but then their strength gave out and she fell once more to the ground. Her hooves scrabbled on the stone floor beneath her as she picked herself up and began running, towards the exit to this ancient palace – and finding her way blocked by the corrupted Elements.

Ditzy: (Cheerilee) You shall not pass! (Giggles) I’ve always wanted to say that.

“No!” Celestia proclaimed again, backing away, eyes wide – nearly as wide as their own as the Elements took in her changed appearance, her mundane mane and tail, her shrunken form.

Ditzy: Awww. She’s so cute now!

Looking away, looking once more for somewhere to run, she saw her sister coming out from behind the pillar Celestia had been at moments ago, the same look on her face.

Celestia grit her teeth, trying to call upon her magic. Sparks once more flew from her horn even as she backed away from the steadily advancing Luna. “No! Thou cannot!” she exclaimed. “I am the Sun! 

Ditzy: Gah! Do you ever ever shut up?! And all you say is the same freaking things over and over again!  I really thought you would be cool being Celestia and all, but you are nothing but a spoiled foal with delusions of grandeur!

Doctor: (Sighs and shakes head)

I am thy Queen! Thy elder! Thou has no right to judge me!

Doctor: (Corona) You’re not our mom!

Equestria is mine! Mine to do with as I please – ”

Doctor: And now she is throwing a temper tantrum like a toddler. So much for going out with dignity.

Ditzy: If she even had that to begin with.

“Celestia,” Luna tried.

“ – as is everypony in it!” Celestia continued,

Doctor: (Corona) Except mimes, thou can keep those.

as she tried once more to call on magic. She was certain her mane and tail ignited even for the barest moment,

Doctor: And screamed in pain. She did her best to stop, drop, and roll.

as she continued to back away from Luna. “The ponies are like gnats! They need protection! A strong hoof – ”

Doctor: What a great trait for a leader, treating her subjects like they’re mere insects and thinking only she knows best.

Ditzy: It’s like the author is going out of his way to make Corona seem completely both uninteresting and unsympathetic.

“Celestia!”

“ – lest chaos reign! They are weak and mortal and do not know the dangers that surround them!”

Doctor: (Corona) Have thee not listened to Fox News?

Celestia had backed herself against a stone pillar. She tried to move around it, but Luna was there, in front of her, faster than her considerably weaker senses could follow, wings spread wide and creating a wall.

Doctor: (Corona) No fair sister! That’s cheating!

“Without me,” Celestia continued, “the griffins…the dragons…Discord…Tirek…thou were there, Luna! Thou knowest the world as I do! How canst thou deny my right? My cause is just! My – ”

Doctor: (Corona) All I want to do is create a tyrannical reign over Equestria! For its own good, of course.

Ditzy: Is this going to turn into some argument about security vs freedom?

“Tia!”

The name cut through Celestia’s tirade, and her defenses, like a hot knife through butter. She blinked several times. The word had possessed no magic, in and of itself, but…

…how long? How long since her sister had called her that? Longer than a millennium, certainly.

Ditzy: Usually it was sunbutt.

She gazed upwards at Luna, who returned the stare evenly. For the first time, Celestia looked at her sister, and saw not murderous resolve, not treacherous intent, but…but sadness. Resignation.

Celestia lunged with her horn.

Doctor: Pfft. You actually thought she would listen to reason?

Ditzy: B-but, what? What about friendship, love, and forgiveness?

Doctor: Nope, those are childish things. Obviously she’s beyond redemption.

Ditzy: But, wait, if she’s still evil, why didn’t the Elements turn her to stone or something?

Luna blinked, and Celestia’s entire body was wrapped in a midnight blue aura, her horn-charge stopped before coming anywhere near Luna’s throat.

Doctor: Yeah, what exactly was her plan there?

“Don’t…” Luna said, though her voice cracked. She paused, closing her eyes, before starting over without opening them. “Please, Tia. Don’t make me do this again. A thousand years ago, I thought I’d lost you forever and it destroyed me. But if this…if this is going to turn into some kind of cycle…” The princess paused once more, before opening her eyes and looking Celestia in the face. “We were meant to rule together, sister – ”

Doctor: (Luna) Join me, and together we can rule Equestria as sisters

Ditzy: Doctor, that was a little too obvious..

“No!” Celestia shouted. “It’s mine! All of it! Everything! Mine! All mine!”

Doctor: Dang it. I already did the Daffy Duck joke.

Luna retreated several steps at the exclamation, eyes wide, as Celestia began struggling against Luna’s telekinetic grip. “Tia, you’re not well. You need help. Let me – ”

“Release me! Release me or next time, I will not spare thee! Thou shalt burn!”

Ditzy: B-but friendship! Isn’t suppose to save the day?

Luna blinked several times more, mouth hanging slightly open as she watched Celestia struggle, and cry out in anger.

Doctor: (Luna) I was so sure that would work. I’ve been working on that speech for years!

Ditzy: That persuasion check was terrible.

The princess was breathing heavily at the sight, and looked like she was on the verge of collapsing and just dying on the spot from sorrow at what her sister had become.

Ditzy: Hold on a minute. If she’s still evil, why didn’t she pretend to turn good so she can defeat her sister from within?

Doctor: She’s not very smart remember?

Ditzy: Oh, right.

After several long moments, however, her eyes narrowed, and she forced her breathing to steady. “Corona,” she proclaimed, ignoring the alicorn’s cries of protest about her name. “You leave me no choice. You will once more be banished to the heart of the sun. Escape, if you can, but next time, I will be waiting. I will be prepared.”

Ditzy: Like you were prepared last time?

Celestia spat at Luna.

Ditzy: Right into her eyes too. Eww….

“Thou shalt suffer!” she shouted, even as Luna’s horn began to glow brighter. “You shall all suffer for denying me my right – ”

Doctor: Yes yes. We get it. You’ve made your point abundantly clear.

Ditzy: Luna can’t banish her to the sun fast enough.

Luna’s horn was glowing bright enough, now, to transcend its normal blue aura, and be glowing white instead. She opened her eyes – similarly gleaming with power…when a green-tinged cloud of particles passed in front of her face.

Ditzy: Oh no! Joker gas!

The princess stumbled backwards and out of the cloud, coughing and sputtering at whatever she had inhaled.

Ditzy: (Luna) Ugh! It tastes like rancid farts.

Her concentration slipped, and Celestia fell to the floor, out of Luna’s magical grip, while Luna’s own magic spun wildly out of control, sending off jets of light and power in random directions. Several nearly struck the Elements of Harmony, but their accessories glowed, and created a barrier against the unintentional assault, protecting them.

Ditzy: But not their bearers unfortunately killing them instantly.

Celestia lifted herself to her hooves, intent on charging forward with her horn once more,

Doctor: (Facehoofs)

Ditzy: How can she possibly think that would work?

when she felt the presence of a pony beside her.

Ditzy: It was Trixie who then bucked Corona in the face!

Glancing, she saw Zecora, once more wearing her brown cape, and with an unconscious Spike on her back. “Quickly, your majesty!” Zecora exclaimed, as she reached into her cloak and produced a bottle of a liquid that somehow managed to be striped blue and red, and unstopped it. “This brew will restore power to you!”

Ditzy: Even for Zecora potions that’s dumb and way too convenient.

Doctor: Have to shoehorn her into a recurring villain somehow.

Celestia didn’t need to hear anything else, biting down on the end of the bottle and throwing her head back, swallowing the concoction in one fell gulp, ignoring its bitter taste.

Ditzy: But enjoyed the strawberry flavoring.

She felt it work almost immediately, but pathetically.

Doctor: It didn’t even give her enough exp to level up to level two.

It gave her only a fraction of her total power. Next to her sister she would still be weak as a foal, and now Luna looked like she was recovering from whatever Zecora had done to her, glaring angrily at the zebra and her sister.

Doctor: (Corona) How dare thee rescue me! I am Celestia! I am the sun! I can rescue myself! How dare thee think thee can save a goddess! I am the sun! I should burn thee for thy presumptuousness! Thee are a foal to think I would ever need help from the likes of any mortal! I am the sun! Did I mention I am the sun? I am not sure that has been made clear enough.

Celestia was a very, very old alicorn,

Doctor: And yet you don’t look a day over 400,000.

however, and however much it felt like a slap to her face, she knew when to fall back, make a tactical withdrawal,

Doctor: Only when told she needs to. Otherwise she would be fruitlessly running at Luna with her horn all day.

and any other euphemism one cared to think up for run away. 

Ditzy: Run with your tail in between your legs?

Doctor: Scampering away like scared mouse?

Her horn glowed – still gold, not the pure white she preferred – and she wrapped herself in teleportation magic.

Almost as an afterthought, she included Zecora, and by extension Spike, in her spell as well.

Ditzy: They’re only the ones that saved your behind. (Sighs)

Doctor: If you are going to throw a hissy fit that someone had the gall to save you, you aren’t exactly giving them incentive to help you in the future.

That made it twice that the zebra had forestalled disaster. Celestia would not let a follower like that go to waste.

Doctor: At least, until Zecora does some small slight that displeases her and burns the zebra to death. She still needs to check that off on her cliche villain checklist.

As for Spike…well, one never knew when brute, dumb muscle could be useful, and Spike was just that when Celestia forced him to age prematurely.

Ditzy: (Starts grinding her teeth)

Doctor: (Puts a comforting hoof on Ditzy)

Ditzy: (Growls) This story.  It treats almost all my friends like trash! What did Spike ever do to you author?!

In a flash of light, Celestia was gone.

Doctor: The moral of the story. People are beyond redemption and no amount of kindness, love, or friendship can ever redeem them.

Ditzy: Friendship Isn’t Magic.

But she would return.

Doctor: In Longest Night Longest Day 2 Electric Boogaloo!

Ditzy: With ten times the foalish temper tantrums!

Doctor: Can Corona somehow lose even more dignity? Tune in to find out! Next Chapter: Episode 24 - Longest Night, Longest Day - Epilogue 2 Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 26 Minutes