Hello again! This time we will be reading Longest Night, Longest Day by RainbowDoubleDash. The first episode of the Lunaverse! If you haven’t heard, this is a universe where Princess Celestia went evil and was banished making Princess Luna the ruler of Equestria. Instead of Twilight, Trixie is Luna’s student. This is not a copy and paste of Mlp’s pilot, and is quite different....for better and worse. There are some issues, but it creates a solid foundation for an entire new universe.

        I chose to do this because it seemed like such a fun idea. It has been stewing in my head for about a year now and on a whim I asked RainbowDoubleDash if I could use his story and he accepted! I got really eager and started it right away. It delays the riffing of other stories I have planned, but it should be worth it. I really hope you enjoy this riffing!

If you have a fanfic recommendation, comments, or criticisms please leave a comment or PM me at my fimfiction account or my blog on Tumblr. Please NO clop or fanfiction with extreme violence. I am not going to do those. I want to do a more family friendly series and it is going to be relatively clean. Besides everyone else does them. Okay, I might do one for a special occasion. But otherwise no clop or extreme gore fics. Ok, enough rambling. On with the fic!

Special thanks to RainbowDoubleDash for letting me do his story. You are awesome!

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Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 21 - Part 1

Dinky hummed to herself as she trotted to her secret facility. School was dull as usual, but today Diamond Tiara invited her over for a slumber party and Dinky was ecstatic. Diamond Tiara’s father bought her this cool looking anime called Pilot Candidate and they planned on marathoning it tonight since it was only twelve episodes long. Silver Spoon rolled her eyes at this, but agreed to watch it with them. All she need to do was ask for her ‘sister’s’ permission. Of course, Star Shot wasn’t going to say no. She barely cared what Dinky did most of the time, but it felt wrong not to get permission. She just hoped Star Shot was around. That mare had a habit of just disappearing and reappearing at random. Sometimes she would be gone for days and Dinky was never able to get a straight answer about where she went to.

Ditzy was able to sneak into the facility with any problems or difficulty. Dinky found Star Shot leaning against a wall drinking a canned soda from a straw in one of the hallways. She gave Dinky a wave. “Hey squirt!”

“Oh hey Star Shot.” Dinky greeted back. “Would it be ok if I sleep over at Diamond Tiara’s house tonight?”

Star Shot shrugged. “Knock yourself out.”

Dinky smiled and nodded. She passed Star Shot and went into the monitor room. Star Shot followed her in from behind. She did a quick search of all the monitors for her parents. She found them in their bedroom. Her father was trying to go across a tightrope that stretched across the room on a unicycle while juggling 3 balls. Her mother was cheering him on the sidelines. Dinky nodded glad to see her parents out of trouble. You just never knew with those two.

“Xander status report.” Dinky asked the main system’s computer.

“No problems detected.” Xander said simply. “Systems are operating optimally.”

“Good.” Dinky thought. “Everything is running smoothly.” Dinky liked a working ship and with her father and Pinkie Pie you never knew when things might spiral out of control. With Pinkie finally gone everything should go back to normal and she didn’t have to worry about that accursed party pony constantly trying to woo her father. Her plan to get her parents together could finally go back on track, but there was still one major obstacle in her way.

“Star Shot, what are we going to do about Spike?” Dinky asked perplexed. “How can we possible get my parents to fall in love if my mother is so madly in love with him?”

“Well, if he is going to be such a problem, why not just have him eliminated?” Star Shot said simply.

Dinky froze in shock.  She stared at Star Shot in horror.

“Think about. It’s simple. Spike dies, Ditzy hears about, rushes in the Doctor’s arms in tears, and he comfort her in her time of need. Boom. It’s the perfect setup for love.”  Star Shot grinned.

“B-but that’s wrong, we can’t just..” Star Shot interrupted her.

“It’s the perfect solution to our problem.” Star Shot shrugged. “If we don’t, Ditzy will never stop pinning after Spike. And we don’t want that right?”

Dinky hesitated. “But…mom and dad won’t have wanted that.”

Star Shot rolled her eyes. “Sure it’s easy to go on about things like truth and justice, but they’ve never needed to make a hard choice like this. Think about it. If you don’t, you will lose everything you have ever cared about. Your parents, your life, your future, your sister.” Star Shot emphasis the last part.

Ditzy froze stiff as a board. She couldn’t never forget when she saw Amethyst Star disappear into thin air ceasing to ever exist.

“What’s one life compared to all of that?” Star Shot asked. She bore her cold yellow eyes right into Dinky.

Dinky mind ran. She didn’t know what to think. She saw Star Shot’s point, but it went against everything her parents believed in. Everything she wanted to believe in.

“Are you going to let one person, one person stand in the way of your happiness?” Star Shot got into Dinky’s face.

Dinky took a step back frightened at the intensity shown in Star Shot’s face.

Star Shot suddenly smiled. “Relax, I was kidding. It’s just a joke.” Star Shot turned jovial. Dinky glared daggers at her. Star Shot just patted Dinky on the head.  “It shouldn’t come to that. After all Hearts and Hooves Day is coming up right?”

Star Shot gave a gleaming smile. “They have a romantic night, look into each other’s eyes, fall in love, and all our problems are settled.”

Dinky gave a hesitant nod. She doubted it would be that simple, but was glad for a change of subject.

Star Shot gave Dinky a shove. “Off you go squirt. Start the experiment. We can’t keep our guests waiting right?”

Dinky nodded and trotted up to chair in front of the main computer, jumped on it, and sat down. She noticed that there was ten minutes until the experiment started. She closed her eyes and waited trying not to think about what she and Star Shot talked about a few minute earlier.

“Hello my little test subjects.” Dinky said into the microphone on the console.

“Hey Dinky.” The Doctor replied.

“Hey.” Ditzy said but through her tone you could tell she wasn’t thrilled talking to Dinky.

“Good news! The last experiment was a bit rough for you. So I decided to go a bit easier on this time.” The Doctor and Ditzy’s ears rose at this.

“Really?” The Doctor seemed skeptical yet relieved at the same time.

“By all accounts this is a good story.” Dinky smirked. She hoped this would get her back on her parent’s good side.

“Well, ok. What is it then?” Ditzy asked.

“Longest Night, Longest Day by RainbowDoubleDash. Enjoy.” Dinky hesitated, but gave out her evil laugh. It felt wrong not to.  The experiment alarm went off and her parents ran into the theater.

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“Lulamoon – ” Lyra began.

All: Gazoontite.

The blue unicorn glared at Lyra Heartstrings. “Trixie,”

All: (Groans)

Ditzy: Not her again.

she ordered in a tone one normally reserved for informing ponies that their loved ones had met horrible ends, and that one enjoyed relating this fact immensely.

Ditzy: I think Trixie missed her calling.

Lyra blinked a few times at the intensity. “I’m…sorry,” the mint-green unicorn apologized. “It’s just that Princess Luna said that ‘Trixie’ was a nickname, and I didn’t think I knew you well enough.”

Doctor: Oh, so her real name is Beatrix.

The other unicorn stared across the wagon cabin at Lyra for a few moments, before sighing. “My given name is Trixie Lulamoon.

Ditzy: Wait, I thought Trixie was suppose to be a nickname? How can your first name be a nickname?

I’m from Neigh Orleans,

Doctor: Wait, you’re not referring to yourself in the third person?

Ditzy: Now that is just bizarre.

and the tradition there is to use a pony’s second name if they have one.

Ditzy: Wait, so that means I would have everypony calling me ‘Doo’. I don’t think I would like that very much.

Doctor: (Trixie) They’re very formal in Neigh Orleans.

But I hate, I hate, Lulamoon. So call me Trixie.”

Doctor: (Lyra) Compromise. I will call you Lutrix instead.

Lyra raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong with Lulamoon?”

“I hate it.”

“I gathered. But I mean, what’s actually wrong with it?”

Doctor: (Trixie) It doesn’t live up to the majesty of the Great and Powerful Trixie!

The blue unicorn turned her head down, staring at the large cabin’s floor.

Doctor: (Trixie) It all started 10 years ago when my parents were murdered before my eyes.

The two had left Canterlot an half an hour ago, but the train ride still had about another hour and a half before it reached their destination of Ponyville.

Ditzy: Hey, plenty of time to play Crushing Sweets on your phone!

So far, the cabin had been just about the only enjoyable part of the train ride –

Ditzy: It had an open bar and Princess Luna was picking up the tab.

it had been first-class, so the two unicorns had as much space as they wanted to themselves.

Doctor: They were yelling this conversation across the room.

The cabin was, in fact, almost as large as the apartment that Lyra had been staying in for the past several years while living in Canterlot and attending Luna’s school of magic.

Ditzy: And Lyra was rooming with three other ponies!

Lyra realized after several minutes of waiting that Trixie wasn’t going to respond to her question.

Ditzy: (Lyra) I said, “What’s actually wrong with it!”

The unicorn let out a sigh as she looked out the train’s window, as the train sped by Equestria. The entire landscape was blanketed in glistening white snow, the aftermath of a nation-wide storm that the weather ponies had insisted was necessary.

Doctor: Lyra was confident it was part of a secret illuminatneigh plot!

It gave the land a serene, inspiring appearance, and as long as Lyra sat in the heated train car she could appreciate the winter wonderland thoroughly.

Ditzy: Otherwise she would be cursing wildly.

Doctor: And the thought to apply this inspiration to her music never once occurred to her.

It was enough to make her forget about the grumpy pony sitting across from her and hum out a nice tune…

Ditzy: What most ponies do when around Trixie.

Trixie’s head shot up at the melody. “What are you doing?” she demanded.

Ditzy: (Trixie) I hate the Black Eye Potatoes!

Lyra glanced at Trixie. “Humming,” she answered.

“No, that tune,” Trixie clarified, one eye narrowing as she leaned forward. “That was ‘Skip to My Lou’ you were humming.”

Doctor: Oh. (Bursts out laughing)

Ditzy:(Snorts) I will have to use that one next time I see her.

“No it wasn’t,” Lyra responded, then considered the absent-minded song.

Ditzy: She was impressed with the hip hop part she put into it.

“Was it? I don’t know, I wasn’t thinking…” Now, however, she was, and quite suddenly a full-toothed grin split her features when enlightenment struck. “Oh, stars above, that’s why you hate Lulamoon,” the mint green unicorn realized.

“No it isn’t!” Trixie insisted,

Ditzy: (Trixie) No stupid! It’s because I...um...uh.... it was overplayed on the radio and I’m sick of it!

though her widening eyes suggested the opposite.

Doctor: (Trixie) She knows too much! I have to dispose of her!

“Lou, lou, skip to my lou,” Lyra sang, leaning forward. “Lou, lou, skip to my lou, fly’s in the buttermilk, shoo fly shoo – ”

Ditzy: (Lyra) Dang it! What goes after that part again?

“I’ll turn you into a newt,” Trixie threatened, pointing a hoof at Lyra, even as the unicorn continued to sing.

Doctor: (Trixie) Come on Lyra! Take me seriously! I’m super serial about this!

“Every school day when I was a filly I had to hear ponies singing that song whenever my name was mentioned and seriously I will turn you into a newt if you don’t stop!”

Ditzy: What are you twelve?

Lyra did stop, but only because her laughter was interrupting the song too much. “Every time?” she asked between giggles.

“Every time,” Trixie insisted. “I don’t know, somepony thought it was funny and maybe it was funny, but it got old real fast.”

Ditzy: (Trixie) And it should be my queen not darlin!

Doctor: I wonder if anyone is going to tell her about ‘Skip to My Lou DJ-Pon3 remix’ becoming rather popular lately.

 Her gaze turned to a golden object sitting next to Lyra. “Why not put that thing to use?”

Ditzy: (Lyra) The ashtray?

Lyra’s horn glowed, and a glowing aura of magic wrapped around her lyre as it levitated over to in front of her. The unicorn shifted sitting positions on the train’s seat, into one that most ponies thought looked incredibly uncomfortable, but which Lyra never minded herself –

Ditzy: Though it did horrible things to her back.

Doctor: Why does she does she sit like that? I tried it myself and it doesn’t work at all.

back resting against the cushioned wall, hind legs hanging over the seat’s edge.

One of Trixie’s eyebrows rose sharply at the sight, and managed to ascend even further as Lyra placed her hooves on either side of her lyre. “You’re…going to play with your hooves?” Trixie asked.

Doctor: Agasted. Only lesser ponies did that.

“I’m better with my hooves than with magic,” Lyra responded matter-of-factly.

Trixie blinked a few times at the statement, finding it exceedingly difficult to believe.

Ditzy: (Trixie) Did a complete dullard teach you how to do magic?

After a moment, however, she settled down onto her stomach on the seat. “Fine,” the blue unicorn decided, waving a hoof imperiously. “Play on, maestro.”

All:(Lyra) Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,

Skip, skip, skip to my Lou,

Skip to my Lou, my darlin'

---

My little pony, My little pony

Ahh ahh ahh ahhh...

My little pony

Friendship never meant that much to me

My little pony

But you're all here and now I can see

Stormy weather; Lots to share

A musical bond; With love and care

Teaching laughter; It's an easy feat,

And magic makes it all complete!

You have my little ponies

How'd I ever make so many true friends?

Ditzy: Why does this fic have a theme song?

Doctor: Points for originality I suppose.

---

“And here we are,” Lyra proclaimed as the two stepped from the train and into the cool, crisp morning air, Trixie grateful for the enchantment woven into her cape that would keep her warm despite the thin material

Doctor: It’s just a shame that it’s full of holes due to it getting caught on the trees and the like.

Ditzy: Doesn’t she know that capes are death traps?

 it was made from. “Ponyville.”

Doctor: This is starting to feel awfully familiar…

Ditzy: Oh no.

Trixie pulled back her hat’s brim, giving what she could see of the town a once-over.

Ditzy: (Trixie) What a dump! I would think that ponies would have more self respect than live here!

Unlike Canterlot, Manehattan, or most of the great cities of Equestria, Ponyville didn’t appear to have a single building over five stories tall.

Doctor: But it did have an impressive high rise.

What the settlement lacked in vertical height, however, it made up for with horizontal spread; in terms of land area, Ponyville was one of the largest communities in the realm,

Ditzy: (Deadpan) Ponyville only has 4,139 citizens Trixie. I should know. I work at the post office.

though its population kept it firmly in the ‘large town’ category and out of the ‘small city’ one.

Ditzy: So I’m guessing Ponyville is larger in this universe?

Doctor: So it would seem.

Ditzy: Why? That ruins its small town charm!

Trixie broke from her reverie long enough to see to it that her luggage and Lyra’s own were delivered to their respective destinations by a quartet of earth pony porters that had accompanied them from Canterlot. She took the time to pass them each a couple of silver bits apiece as a gratuity and to ensure that the best of care was given to their belongings.

Doctor: (Porter) Wait a minute. This is just candy!

Ditzy: (Trixie) You got your tip now get moving pleeb!

She quickly afterwards plunged back into her own thoughts,

Ditzy: (Trixie) I should my name tatooed on my chest. That would be awesome!

however, as she considered the tasks that lay before her, the responsibility that she had,

Doctor: Already she was going mad with power.

through a combination of reasoning, pleading, whining, and maybe a little blackmail,

Ditzy: Did you know that Princess Luna once misspelled potato during a classroom visit?

finally been able to wrest from Princess Luna.

Doctor: (Trixie) The first step to princesshood! Bwahahahaha!

No, Ponyville was not a large city like Manehattan, Stalliongrad, or her hometown of Neigh Orleans, but that was what made it ideal for her to finally put everything she was learning from Luna to practical use.

Ditzy: Wait, what?! Why would Luna teach a third rate stage magician?

Doctor: (Luna) If Celestia can have a student so can we! You there! You’re our student now!

“So,” Lyra interrupted after growing uncomfortable with Trixie’s silence,

Ditzy: This is really starting to freak me out. Normally you can’t get her to shut up!

Doctor: Luna must of trained her to keep her mouth shut.

“where to first? The Apples? The weather team? Introducing yourself to the mayor?”

Doctor: Oh dear. This really is just Twilight Sparkle's tale with Trixie Lulamoon tacked on instead.

Ditzy: Hey! Maybe this means we can skip over parts of it!

Trixie glanced at her mint-colored companion, currently wearing a warm-looking, wool winter cloak and a gray Gatsby cap, somehow fitting the latter snugly over her horn without making the style look uncomfortable.

Ditzy: Note it did not say that it was stylish.

“You’re eager,” she observed.

“No offense, but I want to get this whole ‘escort’ job over and done with,” Lyra responded.

Ditzy: (Lyra) Then you’re on your own! You can probably handle hordes of ninjas by yourself.

Trixie grimaced at Lyra’s subtle, but clear, reminder that the two were not friends, merely acquaintances.

Doctor: (Trixie) But...but...I thought we had something during our train trip! I was starting to think of you as a sister!

“How much is Princess Luna paying you?” she asked.

Ditzy: (Lyra) She’s giving me a twenty bit gift card to any restaurant I want!

Lyra named a large, round figure. Trixie’s eyes widened, causing Lyra to smirk. “Yeah, that was my reaction,”

Doctor: Well, this is Trixie we are talking about.

she said as she pulled the brim of her Gatsby cap over her eyes in a sign of mock embarrassment. Trixie looked away at that, her thoughts turning inwards to what the conversation must have been like, or at least how she saw it in her mind’s eye:

Doctor: This outta be good.

“You,” Princess Luna, tall and regal-looking as ever, said as she pointed to Lyra. “We are investing in our student a measure of responsibility for a change,

Doctor: (Luna) Normally the most we trust her with is scrubbing the toilets.

and making her Our representative to Ponyville! And you are from Ponyville! So We ask that you serve as her escort for a few days while she settles. It’s not like you’ll have anything else to do since you’re a musician and so don’t have a real job.”

Ditzy: Can you believe they actually have the gall to pay these ponies!? Those that dare play the dreaded Skip to My Lou song!

“Oh no,” Lyra responded. “You want me to deal with Trixie Lou-lou-skip-to-my-Lulamoon?

Doctor: Another good one.

Nopony likes her!

Ditzy: (Lyra) Though she has a surprising following on internet forums.

I’ve never met her personally, and I would like to continue that lucky streak!”

Doctor: Someone has a persecution complex.

“You’re right!” Luna exclaimed. “Especially after the ice palace incident, nopony likes Trixie.

Doctor: (Luna) In fact, we have decided to create a national holiday called ‘Pick on Trixie Lulamoon Day’! It will be legally required to mock and throw eggs at her if a pony sees her on the street!

But We shall pay you an exorbitant amount of bits to do so!” And then the princess named a number.

Lyra considered. “Maybe if you throw in some land,” she suggested. “And a title. Vicereine Lyra has a nice ring to it…”

Doctor: (Lyra) Heck. While you are at it, just make me your student too. That Trixie is a talentless hack that has never really accomplished anything worthwhile in her life.

Ditzy: (Trixie) Just as I thought! Just another pony that is trying to take what’s rightfully mine!

“Trixie,” Lyra interrupted her fellow unicorn. Trixie blinked a few times, and saw that she had nearly walked face-first into a lamp post and had been stopped only by Lyra’s outstretched hoof.

All: Awww…

The blue unicorn shook her head to clear it. “Sorry,” she apologized. “I was just thinking about…stuff.”

“Stuff?” Lyra asked.

“Stuff,” Trixie confirmed. “And junk.”

Lyra was silent for several moments at the painfully obvious evasion to her concern, before letting out a sigh.

Ditzy: This is some weird bizarro version of Trixie.

Doctor: The lack of open belittlement and self aggrandizing is starting to get a touch unnerving.

“Whatever,” she said. “So where to first?”

Ditzy: (Trixie) To the grocery store! I need to pick up some dark chocolate to keep my blood sugar steady!

Trixie considered, looking up to the sky as she did so. From the position of the sun, it looked to be about eleven o’clock – wherever they went, they’d have to hurry if they wanted to avoid being caught outside during midday.

Doctor: (Raises eyebrow) And why is that?

A rumbling stomach quickly decided Trixie’s first destination. “The Apple Trust,” she decided with a nod.

Ditzy: The what?

Doctor: In apples we trust.

Lyra nodded, turning towards a street and beginning to trot off, her charge in tow. As they walked, Trixie considered the ponies around her.

Ditzy: She glared hatefully at them. She knew what they were really thinking about her!

Some gave her an odd look at her choice of clothing – a purple, star-studded cape and wizard’s hat – but mostly she received only a few polite nods or the occasional greeting.

Doctor: But most ponies kept their distance from the weirdo in the cape.

It was a welcome change from the reputation she had managed to build for herself in Canterlot over the past few years,

Ditzy: So far no rotten fruit has been thrown at her.

where the best she could usually hope for was an indifferent stare –

Doctor: Or go a week without being tarred and feathered.

and those she hadn’t received at all over the past few weeks, ever since the ice palace –

Ditzy: What? Did somepony die or something?

No, Trixie insisted, forcing herself to forget about that night, the ice-turned-water getting everywhere

All: (Gasps)

Ditzy: The horror! The horror!

and the absolutely livid look in Princess Luna’s eyes.

Doctor: (Luna) These are our best carpets!

Ditzy: I don’t get what the big deal is. I’ve messed up worse than that sometimes.

No, you’re not going to think like that. Fresh start, Trixie. Fresh start.

All: What could possibly go wrong!?

---

“Lyra, I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest,” Trixie stated.

Doctor: (Trixie) Have you been sent to kill me too when this is all over!?

Ditzy: (Lyra) Well I...wait what?!

Doctor: (Trixie) Don’t deny it! You’re after my place as the Princess’s student! I won’t let you have it!

“Yeah?”

“Are you lost?”

Lyra’s silence to Trixie’s inquiry was answer enough.

Doctor: Trixie doubted that Ponyville has a desert.

The blue unicorn let out a long sigh as her companion stopped at a fork in the road, considering as she rubbed the back of her head with one hoof. “I thought you grew up in Ponyville,” Trixie accused.

Ditzy: I knew it! You are a spy here to kill me!

“I did, but I never really went out to the Apples,” Lyra responded as she looked around. Ponyville was to the east of them, still visible over the rolling, snow-covered hills, but the site of the Apple Trust’s first and largest farm was somehow evading them.

Ditzy: Trixie suspected somepony was moving it to spite her.  

“They came into town. No need to go to the farm.”

Ditzy:  Not even for a Apple Family Zap Apple Jam Extraordinaire, Sisterhooves Social, or the occasional party?

“So you’re lost,” Trixie surmised.

Doctor: Princess Luna certainly got her money’s worth.

Lyra glared at her charge a moment. “No,” she said firmly, pointing a hoof down the right path. “It’s that way.” She began trotting off, a determined spring to her steps.

Doctor: (Trixie) The one that leads into that scary looking forest?

Ditzy: (Lyra) Yes, it’s….a shortcut!

With a sigh, Trixie followed, glancing nervously at the sky as she did. “It’s just about midday,” she noted.

Doctor: Soo…...what?

Ditzy: Do monsters attack during midday or something?

Doctor: (Trixie) We have to get going or Lady Midday will get us!

“I know,” Lyra responded gruffly, glancing over her shoulder a moment before returning her attention to the road ahead. “It’s just a stupid superstition. It’s not like Corona

Doctor: Corona? Hm, that’s make sense.

Ditzy: Sounds like an artery disease.

is going to fly on down and immolate us just for being outside.”

Doctor: (Trixie) My Uncle’s second cousin’s friend was burned to a crisp by her once!

Ditzy: (Lyra) Really?

Doctor: (Trixie) And my Uncle never lies!

Ditzy:(Lyra) My godmother’s aunt said once that happened to one of her friend’s coworkers too!

Doctor: (Trixie) We need to get out of here right now!

Trixie shivered slightly nevertheless, and not from the cold, as the two trotted next to a white fence that separated the road from an empty farmer’s field, a field notably lacking apples of any kind.

Doctor: Because the Apple family decided to branch out into pears.

Despite Lyra’s words, she picked up the pace just as much as Trixie did, and each cast nervous glances to the sky as the sun continued its inexorable climb overhead. At a guess, they had maybe ten minutes, at most, before the sun reached its zenith.

Ditzy: The tension!

Doctor: I don’t know if I can handle all of this.

“Should have gone to my new home first,” Trixie muttered to herself. “I knew it was too close to midday to head out.” She glared at Lyra. “Or would you have gotten lost on the way there as well?”

Ditzy: (Trixie) Where did Luna even find you? Digging in a trash bin looking for food perhaps?

“I’m not lost,” Lyra insisted.

Ditzy: (Giggles) This seems awfully familiar.

Doctor: Quiet you.

“So where’s Sweet Apple Acres, then?”

“There should be signs. I mean, there were signs all over the place back before I went to Canterlot.

Doctor: It seems the Anti-Sign Group finally passed their ‘No signs within 10 miles’ law while she was gone.

I don’t know what happened to them.” Lyra glared at Trixie. “But I’m not lost.” She glanced ahead. “A ha. And I can prove it.”

Ahead, Trixie and Lyra spotted a gold-coated, orange-maned earth pony trotting with nearly as much speed as the two unicorns were.

Ditzy: Oh hey Carrot Top! What are you doing here?

She was wearing a wide-brimmed sunhat and saddlebags laden with groceries,

Doctor: (Trixie) Does this mare live off of nothing but pizza and potato chips?

and was just beginning to open a gate in the white fence they had been trotting beside when she spotted them.

“Oh my,” she exclaimed on seeing the two unicorns. An odd look of hopefulness came over her features.

Doctor: (Carrot) Oh my gosh, somepony actually wants to talk to me!

“What are you two fillies doing out at this time of day?”

Ditzy: It’s midday! Mid-day!

“Getting increasingly lost,” Trixie answered, glancing once more at the sun. At this point, it was close enough to midday that no one would argue the point.

Ditzy: Somepony better get fried if they don’t.

Doctor: This is some superstition. They’re absolutely terrified.

Trixie tried to remember the last time she had been outside when the sun was at its zenith, but couldn’t for the life of her remember. Nopony stayed outside during midday without an extremely good reason.

Doctor: We get it. Alright?

The earth pony’s hopefulness faded away at Lyra’s question, replaced by a sort of resignation.

Ditzy: (Carrot) Well, it looks like I will have to spend another day all alone again scarfing down ice cream to ease my pain.

“Um, yes,” she responded. “Just keep going straight down that way about two miles. You can’t miss it.”

“Ha!” Lyra exclaimed, turning to Trixie and sticking out her tongue.

Trixie ignored her as she tipped her wizard’s cap. “Thank-you,” she responded, consciously doing nothing to hide her nervousness.

Doctor: Commoner mud ponies always made her nervous. They never knew their place.

She turned to Lyra. “Come on. At a full gallop we can probably be there in a few minutes…”

Ditzy: Or you will explode or something.

The orange earth pony bit her lip at Trixie’s obvious distress, and didn’t seem to miss Lyra’s own despite the mint-green unicorn working to hide it. “Hold on,” she insisted. “Is it really that important that you get where you’re going quickly?”

Doctor: She’s right mare! Think of what you are doing!

Ditzy: Nothing could possibly be worth the risk of going out midday!

Trixie pointed a hoof straight up. “It is if we don’t want to be outside in this,” she responded.

“Is that all?” she asked. At a confirming nod from Trixie, she pointed down the path that lead to her house. “You can come inside if you like. I was just about to make myself lunch.”

Ditzy: Wait a minute. In this world I won’t be allowed to have a picnic at lunch. How lame is that?

“Oh, no. We wouldn’t want to impose,” Trixie lied, for herself at least.

Doctor: She planned on hoarding all the treats she could and perhaps steal a few towels and a few odds and ends.

“No. I insist,” the earth pony said, trotting behind Trixie and Lyra and shooing them towards her house, a rustic cottage about a hundred feet from the fence. Trixie put up only a small show of resisting before the three of them crossed the distance from the fence to the earth pony’s front door and made their way inside.

Doctor: They dove into the house in a slow motion.

Trixie did not hide her very real sigh of relief as she got out from under the sun’s rays and was, instead,

All: (Breath heavily)

Doctor: My hearts almost couldn’t take it.

Ditzy: And they have to go through that everyday!

safely enclosed by four walls and a sturdy roof.

Doctor: Which I am sure will protect you from a crazed Alicorn.

The house inside was simple and plainly decorated, looking like it contained little more than a living room, kitchen, and a few bedrooms, without so much as a second story.

Ditzy: That doesn’t sound like the Carrot Top I know. She loves to collect stuff! Particularly porcelain figures.

Doctor: Apparently she doesn’t really live in her own home.

“Thank-you,” Trixie said as she turned to the earth pony who had taken the two unicorns in. Yes, Trixie had subtly influenced her towards that decision with a few well-chosen words said in the right tone of voice,

Ditzy: Unfortunately, it came off like as Trixie trying to hit on her.

but that didn’t mean she couldn’t be grateful about it.

Doctor: It also meant she didn’t need to show it.

Her new acquaintance shook her orange tresses. “No need,” she responded as she slipped her saddlebags off of her, taking them in her mouth and bringing them to her kitchen. With her bags no longer in the way, Trixie could see her cutie mark – a trio of healthy-looking, green-stalked carrots. After setting them down, she turned back to Trixie and Lyra. “My name is Carrot Top, incidentally.”

“Lyra Heartstrings,” the mint unicorn said as she used her magic to slide off her Gatsby cap and wool cloak. She used the levitated cap to point to Trixie. “And this is Trixie Lul – ”

Doctor: (Lyra) Trixie Lou-lou-skip-to-my-Lulamoon.

“Just Trixie,” the other unicorn interrupted with an angry glare towards her companion,

Ditzy: Have you ever considered getting your name changed? To like, I don’t know, Trixie McAwesomemare?

before turning back to Carrot Top. “I’m Ponyville’s new representative from the Night Court of Luna.”

Trixie tried to keep the pride from her voice at that statement. She tried. She did not succeed, but she didn’t feel particularly bad about that, either.

Ditzy: She enjoyed putting commoners in their place.

Carrot Top’s eyes widened a little at the proclamation. “Oh my!” she exclaimed, trotting up to Trixie and giving a slight bow. “Um…so would that be Lady Trixie, or Countess, or Vicereine, or…?

Doctor: (Trixie) Your Majesty Queen Trixie would be acceptable.

Trixie shook her head, trying to hide her enjoyment at the bow. “

Ditzy: Though she would have prefered some hoof kissing as well.

Just Trixie. Or Representative Trixie, I suppose. I’m not a noble.”

Carrot Top seemed to be simultaneously surprised that the Princess would appoint a commoner to the position of Ponyville representative,

Ditzy: It did, however, explain her horrid outfit.

and comforted by the thought that Ponyville’s new representative would be a mare of the people.

Doctor: In truth she was a mare of Trixie.

From what Trixie understood, the previous holder – Blueblood something, or something Blueblood, Trixie hadn’t bothered to remember –

Ditzy: In fact Trixie had forgotten why she was even talking to this commoner to begin with.

had kept his noble person distant from the ponies of Ponyville prior to his retirement from office just a few weeks ago.

Ditzy: He found Ponycraft to be more worth his noble time.

“Anyway,” Lyra interrupted, “we don’t want to impose. We’ll just wait out midday here and be on our way.”

“To the Apples,” Carrot Top added, her voice once more losing a bit of joy.

Doctor: Apples were her mortal enemies.

She looked to Trixie. “So this is probably about the Longest Night festival, isn’t it?”

Trixie nodded at the mention of the celebration of the winter solstice, coming up in just two days. “Yes,” she confirmed. “I’ve been appointed as the official overseer of the festival. The Apples are overseeing the food stalls, I’m given to understand.” She looked out a window, at the empty, snow-covered fields surrounding the house. “So, you’re a carrot farmer, I take it?” Given the pony’s name and cutie mark,

Ditzy: (Trixie)(Snorts) You smell like one.

it was hardly a surprise when she nodded in affirmation. “What have you got planned?”

The farmer blinked a few times at Trixie’s question. “I’m sorry?” she asked.

Doctor: (Carrot Top) Sorry I spaced out for a moment there.

“For the festival,” Trixie continued. “Or is it some kind of surprise?”

The golden earth pony’s eyes continued to flutter in confusion for a few moments. “I…well, I don’t have any plans,” she said, as though the answer should have been obvious. “The Apples are overseeing the food stalls.”

Doctor: (Raises eyebrows) What, all of them? Isn’t Ponyville a farming community? Oh right the ‘Apple Trust’.

Ditzy: So the Apple Family are a bunch a jerks in this universe?

Now it was Trixie’s turn to be confused. “Well, yes, because the Trust is experienced with coordinating large numbers of ponies,” she said. “But you don’t want to miss a sales opportunity like the Longest Night, do you?”

Ditzy: (Trixie) And overpricing your goods by at least three times!

“Uh, Trixie?” Lyra asked, stepping next to the blue unicorn. “That’s not how it works in Ponyville. At least not with the big-time festivals in fall and winter and spring. The Apples run all the food stalls.”

“Why?”

Ditzy: Yeah why?

Doctor: Don’t small farms depend on these sales to stay in the black?

“That’s just how it is, Representative,” Carrot Top said, shrugging a little.

Doctor: (Carrot Top) So what I barely make ends meet and have almost nothing to eat most of the time.

Ditzy: Explains the empty house.

“It might have something to do with the Apples being the founding family of Ponyville.

Doctor: And ponies finding animal heads in their beds after opposing the Apples.

There are other farms, and we get to set up stalls during any of the minor celebrations, but not during the Longest Night, the Eventime, or the Ingathering.”

Ditzy: Those are some terrible names.

Trixie considered that. More specifically, she considered the thought of having only apples to eat in two days’ time. Apple fritters, apple pies, apple juice, caramel apple, candied apple, apple cider…

Ditzy: I am starting to get hungry...er I mean how horrible! Poor Trixie!

“That’s stupid and that’s not what’s happening this year,” Trixie proclaimed.

All: Down with the system!

Next Chapter: Episode 21 - Longest Night, Longest Day - Chapter 2 Estimated time remaining: 10 Hours, 43 Minutes