Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 19 - Part 3

Chapter 9: Requiem

THREE MONTHS LATER

Ditzy: Time skip!

Pinkie: I wonder what new powers and looks everypony has now!

Doctor: Perfect for merchandising.

        The Gryphon king stood at the peak of his tower, looking out from the porch that gave him a view of the land he controlled.

Doctor: It consisted of a small yard, a tool shed, and an inflatable pool.

For thirty years, he’d rued his people with iron talons and for thirty years, he knew his rule would never be tested.

Pinkie: He had been skipping his King Authority Test for years!

But now, as his soldiers began to retreat and die, due to the sudden increase of soldiers amongst the pony race, as well as the recent regularly scheduled interferences

Doctor: (King) No war because of rain? Dangit!

from the cause of the war, he was beginning to reach the end of his tether with everyone. Suddenly, his soldiers were incompetent,

All: Suddenly?

his bed companions unfulfilling,

Ditzy: So is this implying that Mar is paying them off to give him bad sex?

everything in his life had grown dull.

Doctor: Oh, so he’s at the point of his life where he gets a sports carriage to make himself feel young again.

And to make matters worse, he feared he was leading his gryphons into extinction.

Doctor: Well, maybe if you actually used tactics and treated your army as more than just cannon fodder this wouldn’t of happened.

While he held no personal attachment to them as a whole,

Ditzy: Wait a minute. Wasn’t this whole war about the outrage you felt over Spike killing some Griffons(in self defence)?

 he knew that a king couldn’t be a king without control over others.

Pinkie: A king isn’t a king without his mustard!

Ditzy: What?

Pinkie: Come on! It’s an old saying!

Ditzy: I-it is?

Pinkie: Well duh.

        Things seemed to turn even worse for him as a messenger entered his chambers.

Pinkie: (Messenger) The theater is sold out for Avengers 3!

“Your highness, I have urgent news. Over a dozen soldiers have reported having killed at least three different enemy units four to five times.

Doctor: That is only because pony soldiers only have 4 or 5 different character models.

They suspect Celestia has made a deal with changelings for reinforceme–.”

        The sound of a chain rattling towards the messenger could be heard before the inevitable pierce and cessation of life.

Doctor: (King) Wait, I hope he didn’t have anything else important to tell me.

The king had thrown what was now revealed as his metal talon at the messenger and killed him on the spot.

Pinkie: (King) That’s one more off the Evil Overlord Cliche List! I should have the whole thing full by the end of the week!

Ditzy: Wait, why did he kill the messenger again? It wasn’t exactly bad news.

Doctor: Exactly how is he suppose to get any news if everyone is too scared to give him any?

As if by magic, the chain attaching the talon to his arm began to retract and clamp shut in place.

Doctor: After getting stuck on several pieces of furniture.

He growled at the news.

Ditzy: (King) Changelings…..I hate those guys.

A deal with the changelings was the last thing he needed to happen to him.

Ditzy: If the constant arthritis weren’t bad enough!

He returned to looking out at his kingdom when he heard a tutting noise a second later. He whipped his head around again to see a white gryphon with an eye patch over his right eye.

        “Ever heard of the saying: ‘Don’t shoot the messenger’?” he asked,

Pinkie: He killed a messenger last week for telling him that the kitchen was out of green olives.

his deep and raspy voice chilling the king’s spine. The king just turned to the intruder and pressed his talon to his throat which didn’t seem to err the white one’s confidence.

Ditzy: Oh hey Mar.

        “Who are you?” he demanded.

Pinkie: (Griffon) You can call me...Al.

        The white one seemed to wink at him before replying. “The last thing you’ll ever see if you don’t stand down.” he replied.

Pinkie: (King) You’re going to turn me blind? You monster.

The king suddenly felt five sharp tips press lightly against his chest. He looked down to see a talon similar to his own,

Pinkie: If Mar couldn’t get anymore unoriginal!

though the knuckles were long black blades roughly twice the length of daggers.

Ditzy: So he’s total not stealing!

The white gryphon

Doctor: Wait, why isn’t he black or at least dark colored?

Pinkie: Lame, only cool guys are black!

before him had the blades positioned perfectly around the left side of his chest. All it would take is a thrust and a clench for his heart and left lung to be sliced into five equal pieces.

Pinkie: (King) Ha! Go ahead, I don’t need those anyway.

Ditzy: (Mar) No, I’m pretty sure you do.

Pinkie: (King) What is the lose of a heart and a lung to the king of Griffons! Such puny methods can’t beat me!

With little choice but to submit, the king stood down, returning his own weaponised talon to the ground.

Doctor: (King dejected) Ok, I give up.

        “What do you want?” the king asked returning to his balcony.

Ditzy: (Mar) I just want to catch up. Don’t you remember we went to college together?

        “Less paperwork to do whenever some gryphon, changeling or pony dies in this war. In short, I want the war over, and I’m going to offer you a face saving way out of this whole mess.” he replied.

Doctor: (Mar) Get on your knees and plead with Celestia.

While the king wished to know what sort of occupation required paperwork regarding the deceased from all sides of a war, he thought better than to ask and went straight to the main article.

Ditzy: (Reading) City unsure why sewer smells.

        “How?” he demanded. The white one cleared his throat and waited for a moment.

        “Bluff.” he said simply. The king turned to look at the white one who appeared right in front of him, almost beak to beak.

Pinkie: Now kiss.

Ditzy: Are we going to have a male on male sex scene?

“Tell the princesses that you have a certain number of forces waiting in the wings to overtake all of Equestria by storm, but you are willing to call them off if the peace treaty is renewed and placed into effect immediately.

Pinkie: (King) I have like hundred trillion griffons, a hundred dragons, a thousand cyborg ninjas, hundreds of sharks with lasers attached to their head, and several thousand rabid mutant iguana and they could totally crush Equestria in an instant! But, I’m willing to go easy on you and make peace!

In essense, wipe away the last year and start off with a clean slate.”

        The king considered the option for a second.

Doctor: But stopped due to the pain from the effort.

“But the whole reason I declared war was to take revenge on that damnable dragon for killing my scouts on my territory!” he shouted.

Ditzy: They attacked him first!

Doctor: Never your fault right?

        “And that’s proven to be more trouble than it’s worth. As a nomadic race, you should be admiring his tenacity and endurance.

Pinkie: (King) Do not!

Besides, I’ve seen the border of your territory as well as the resting place of your soldiers, not to mention his comrades. The truth would reveal you to be in the wrong, yet again… Hyperion.” The king went wide-eyed as his name was spoken.

Doctor: The Greek Titan of Light? Won’t it make more sense for him to be Uranus?

Ditzy: Sure, but we would probably laugh at him more.

        “How do you know that name?” he asked, more shocked than anything else.

Pinkie: (Mar) You put on your Griffonbook page.

        “I know the names of every living thing that has died, every living thing dying and every living thing that will eventually die.

Ditzy: That’s it? Talk about lazy.

Nothing about anyone is hidden from me, murderer.”

Doctor: Oh, that rich coming from you.

the king growled at the white gryphon and threw his talon up to his face, tearing away at the flesh.

Doctor: Tearing away a mask and revealing his true identity!

Pinkie: (Gasp) Mar was really Old Pony Jenkins all along!

        “I told everyone that an assassin killed her, not me!” he shouted. The white gryphon fell back, dead. His blood began to pool out and stain the floor. Hyperion turned back around, frustrated at everything that stranger had said.

Doctor: (Hyperion) I’ve never killed anyone in my life!

        “And of course they’d believe you.” Hyperion swung his head around again to find nothing, not even the blood where blood once was. The white one had disappeared from view, yet his voice still remained. “After all, no-one aside from you and her knew that your brother left the kingdom to his daughter instead of you. Of course you felt you deserved it more, given your outstanding loyalty. And upon his deathbed you murdered his daughter and opened a window, claiming an assassin did it. The others didn’t know you had a motive.”

Ditzy: Despite him being the one to gain the most from her death?

the king looked around for the source of the voice, but couldn’t find it. It was as if it was coming from all around the room.

Pinkie: (Mar) It looks like those ventriloquism lessons are really coming into use!

        “Your kind used to believe that in the afterlife, if you’d committed a sin you’d be weighed down by chain and ball.

Doctor: (Mar) Because of budget cuts the ball and chain are aluminum now.

For working gryphons, it would take years of unfaltering business that infected the lives of others to create chains strong and heavy enough to carry the weight of the ball that was their sin.

Ditzy: Like cutting in line too many times.

Pinkie: Or not tipping enough.

Doctor: Or stealing pens from work.

But for someone like you who has directly cut off the life of another through your own talons… such a quick and heavy sin is murder.”

Doctor: Pot, kettle, black.

Hyperion gasped as the air around him became tight and the gravity increased to a point he was forced to his elbows and knees within the span of a second.

Ditzy: But it was all a ruse! He’s been training in 100 times Earth’s gravity!

It doubled and he was flat against the ground in half that time.

        “Then… doesn’t it… make sense… to… continue the war… for the sake of… the fallen?!” he cried out. The gravity returned to normal and the air began to flow freely into his lungs again. He gasped for air and revelled in it.

Pinkie: (Mar) You’re right! What was I thinking? I’m going to help you now!

        “So your answer is to bring justice to the dead through war and suffering on both fronts?” the white gryphon appeared again right in front of him through a cloud of white smoke and stopped just short of him. The king rose to his paws with difficulty.

        “That is correct.” he replied.

        “How stale!” the white one retorted, showing his displeasure at the mere idea.

Doctor: (Mar) Did you go to cliche villain school?

Hyperion huffed at the white gryphon and walked away from him.

Ditzy: (Hyperion) Ha, you better run!

        “I know who you are now, demon.

Doctor: (Mar) Excuse me. I’m an angel, not a demon! Get it right!

And I know that you cannot kill me yourself, otherwise you would have done that. You do not ally yourself with one particular side, but simply watch from the sidelines and wait to collect the souls of the dead.

Pinkie: (Mar) Alright! I’ll I need is Raindrops’s soul and I have the whole set!

You have rules which you must follow and playing the arbiter is one such rule.” Hyperion stopped one last time at his balcony, staring confidently out toward the gryphon kingdom.

Pinkie: (Hyperion) I didn’t know they built a bowling alley at 35th. I will have to check it out later.

        The white pony recalled the deal he’d made with the princesses and the changeling queen three months ago…

Ditzy: (Mar) Let me be the main character and I’ll give you 5 bits!

        “It’s settled then; I’ll go to the gryphon king and attempt to convince him to give you a way out of this war. If he accepts, then it’s smooth sailing from then on, if he refuses, then I will pretend to be a gryphon and kidnap your student, Twilight Sparkle.

Doctor: Of course.

Ditzy: Can she ever not be a damsel in this?

I’ve seen the reaction the dragon has whenever she is in danger or upset

Doctor: It usually involves a lot of kicking and screaming on the ground.

and I am confident all you would need to do from then on is recall your ponies and let him work his magic, so to speak.

Pinkie: He can shoot doves out of his hat at them!

Once that’s over and done with, you three will follow behind him and take over the gryphon kingdom to expand your Equestrian Empire.”

Pinkie: (Celestia gasping) How do you know about my plans to conquer the world!?

Doctor: Why can’t you work with Spike to stop the Griffons?

Ditzy: What about afterwards? Won’t he be royally cheesed?

The angel of Death was clear and concise with the plan as he laid it out to both princesses and Queen Chrysalis.

Pinkie: (Celestia) Sorry. I wasn’t listening.

Ditzy: (Luna) Zzzzzzz….er...uh...what...right. I like this plan.

Doctor: (Chrysalis) Why don’t I just kill the King, take his place, and end the war? It would be so much simpler.

        “Yes, while in the meantime, Chrysalis will have her changelings change into our fallen soldiers and continue to fight. In exchange, we will allow them to take the places of those lost to us and absorb the love from the widowed.” Celestia replied.

Ditzy: That’s horrible!

Doctor: You’re really okay with this? Really?

Pinkie: Can’t the changelings and ponies just become besties?

Chrysalis nodded and offered her hoof to the white alicorn who took it with some unease and tension.

Pinkie: Chrysalis coughed into her hooves without washing them!

Luna however, had something else on her mind.

Doctor: (Luna) Won’t that give the Changelings a strong foothold in our land?

        “It is such a terrible time for Twilight Sparkle’s sister to be born in.” she stated.

Pinkie: (Gasps) Twilight’s going to be a big sister! (Jumps up and down in joy)

Doctor: Not what I was expecting.

Ditzy: I suppose Velvet still is pretty young.

The angel looked to her and seemed to grow distant.

Doctor: (Mar) Velvet. How I miss you.

        “Yes, Misty Nebula.

Doctor: Who?

Pinkie: Oh, that’s Minuette’s aunt!

In exchange for using miss Sparkle as bait, I shall endeavour to ensure that no more of that family will die during this war.” he said.

Ditzy: (Deadpan) How generous of you.

Pinkie: (Mar) Just think of all the bass you could catch!

Doctor: Celestia is really okay with her prized pupil being kidnapped?

        “Speaking of death, there’s one thing that still confuses me.” Chrysalis piped up. All ponies looked at her, waiting for her to ask. “If you don’t allow second chances, how come Spike is still alive, shouldn’t you have killed him instead of sealing away his power?

Ditzy: When did that happen?

From what I heard, he was supposed to die when the corrupted magic took him over.” she said.

Pinkie: (Chrysalis) Oh course I got the news off of a tweet, so it might not be true.

        “Spike divided his soul into two prior to corrupting himself with dark magic. As far as the rules are concerned, division of the soul is equivalent to a second life.”

Ditzy: Still not getting why that is more legal than being saved by somepony.

Pinkie: It’s bureaucracy. It’s full of loopholes like that!

        …The white gryphon sighed as he took into account the past with what Hyperion had just said.

Doctor: (Mar) Those were good times.

        “That used to be the case. Now, I’m free.” with a buzzing sound, he was gone in a blur. Hyperion turned around to question him but saw nothing but his chambers with the messenger from before still lying in the doorway.

Ditzy: (Hyperion) Marco! Marco! Oh come on! Marco!

        Spike leaped into the air and focused all his magic into his fist. As he descended upon a small platoon of gryphons, his hand collided with the ground. A wave of dark energy surged like a ripple in water, consuming and killing everything within its radius. The bodies of the gryphons were drained of all fluid and they looked like they’d been decaying for years. Spike’s scales shone black

Doctor: Black, black, black. I’m sick of that color!

Pinkie: Just a little pink would be nice.

as he grabbed another gryphon by the beak and began to drain its life force. One could watch as the muscle and fat on the creature was sucked out from its body and converted into energy.

Ditzy: But with zero calories!

He tossed the remains aside and ran full throttle into the next horde.

Ditzy: (Griffon) C'mon griffons! Nogriff lives forever!

        Twilight was using her enhanced magic to overcome the resistance the gryphons had to regular magic

Doctor: So that whole resistance to magic thing was almost completely pointless.

and was giving them a good taste of her anger

Pinkie: They are going to get so many stern talking-tos!

as she took hold of several in her telekinetic energy and crushed them from the inside out,

Doctor: Have you ever considered trying to talk it out?

breaking every bone and organ in the process. Their dying screams resonated with her fury and she was sent into a hurricane of a blood rage.

Pinkie: It increased her attack speed by 15 percent and increased her life leeching by 35 percent.

Cadence fared no better as her sorrow and misery took over and had begun to mutate into a new form of dark magic that drove its targets to the brink of insanity.

Pinkie: She evolved into Mega Dark Cadance!

As an alicorn her magic was somewhat better channelled.

Doctor: Because maddening grief and rage gives you more focus.

She just strolled through the crowds of gryphons and watched with melancholy eyes as they all dropped dead out of fear of the insane images and scenarios that played randomly throughout their minds.

Doctor: Well, that’s a line that we can’t pass up.

Pinkie: So many references we could make!

Ditzy: Where to start?

Shock was one hell of a way to die when around her.

Pinkie: Lame, no blood or intestines are involved.

The rest of the elements of harmony had grown even more dismal as they watched their friends fall to darkness and sorrow one by one.

Pinkie: (Sighs) And this so easy to solve too.

        Applejack had grown stronger for the sake of breaking gryphon bones with her apple bucking skills. Rainbow Dash had learned to use her Sonic Rainboom as a means to distract enemies

Pinkie: (Griffon) Ooooo. Pretty lights. Wha? Gah!

and ground airborne gryphons. Fluttershy had tapped into her affinity for animals and called Timber Wolves and all sorts of creatures from the Everfree forest, creating a legion of monsters all under her control, feeding off of her restlessness and directing it to the source.

Ditzy: …

Pinkie: …

Ditzy and Pinkie: Bwahahahahaha!

Ditzy: That’s hilarious!

Pinkie: (Wipes tears from eyes) Like that would ever happen.

Rarity began designing traps as well as armour for the others in order to protect them and bring them home safely,

Ditzy: Too bad it was completely impractical.

Pinkie: (Spike) How is a giant suit of crystal going to help me?

though she felt she was unable to contribute directly to the fight and was left to look after the fillies with Gilda who believed her presence on the field would blend in with the enemy

Doctor: Good idea actually. Spike just seems to kill everything in front of him in a blind rage.

and endanger one of two things Rainbow Dash had left to live for.

Pinkie: Her and Dashie’s Soarin memorabilia collection.

Finally, Pinkie Pie had long since lost her poufy manestyle and took up general fighting, combining it with her unnatural stealthy abilities, she was the ultimate assassin.

Ditzy: Move over Golgo!

Pinkie: Watch out for my deadly Pie to Face technique!

She returned to using her old name, Pinkamena.

Pinkie: (Blinks) When did I stop?

        Having taken back yet another town along the borders of Equestria and driven the enemy that much farther back into their own territory, the group felt they had succeeded and stopped their advances on the gryphons to rest and take the time to revel in their acomplishments.

Ditzy: (Fluttershy) I’m so happy. 230 griffons were killed by my animal friends today! It’s such a pity the war is going to end soon. I can’t get enough of their death screams! The way their bone crunches as their body is torn to bloody shreds is like pretty bird song to me.

Though it was a small thing given what they had all lost. Twilight had lost a brother, Cadence a husband,

Pinkie: And Rarity lost a scarf because of all of the fighting!

the other elements of Harmony had lost a friend and Spike had lost any possibility of thinking he could live a happy life with Twilight after this.

Ditzy: Oh, posttraumatic stress disorder.

Doctor: No, you are giving the author too much credit.

        “We did good today guys. Well done.” Spike said, ripping the hind leg of a gryphon from it’s body.

Ditzy: (Spike) I know a black market doctor that could use this.

He then began to cook it in his own fire,

All: …

Doctor: That is beyond barbaric.

Ditzy: If the senseless murder wasn’t enough.

the smell wafting to the others who once would have felt queasy at the scent, but now felt a sense of accomplishment.

Doctor And it make them secretly hungry.

Some of the wilder animals under Fluttershy’s control had begun picking off the bodies, but others had piled around Spike and Twilight, trying to get their meat cooked.

Ditzy: (Wolf) Can I get my meat boiled?

Pinkie: (Lion) Can I get it with ketchup?

        It wasn’t until they went homeward that everything turned dark yet again for the group, especially spike. Travelling single file,

All:(Singing) Heigh-ho, heigh-ho

It's off to work we go!

they all heard a thump from behind and the sound of Twilight crying out for aid.

Ditzy: Twilight got so distracted by her singing that she stepped in a pothole and fell over.

Spike saw a white gryphon with an eyepatch holding Twilight in his arm.

Pinkie: (Spike) Twilight, how could you!? (sobs)

Twilight’s cried ceased as he headbutted the mare, knocking her out.

Doctor: Like in the movies. One hit always knocks you out.

Ditzy: Couldn’t he just use a spell for that?

        “If you want your partner back, destroy the gryphon king and anyone he sends at you. Then she’ll be yours once again.” he said, taking to the skies. Spike growled and pointed a finger at the white gryphon.

Pinkie: (Spike) Objection!

        “I’m not playing your game. She stays here!” he shouted, a line of black shot out towards Twilight and the gryphon,

Doctor: Um, aren’t you worried about incinerating Twilight?

but instead of making contact, the gryphon shot upward, creating a sonic boom similar to Rainbow Dash’s without the colour.

Pinkie: A Sonic….Black Boom?

        “NO!” Spike roared,

Pinkie: (Spike) That move is copyrighted!

spreading his reverse-angled wings and following after him.

Ditzy: Only to fly backwards into the ground.

He was stopped by Cadence as she grabbed him in her magical aura and brought him down.

        “Cadence, let me go! I’m not going to lose Twilight too. She’s the whole reason I’m fighting now, just as Gilda is to Rainbow Dash or you to the memory of Shining Armour.” Cadence felt a pang of emotional agony at her husband’s name, but she remained in control of herself.

        “I know you want to save her, but rushing in blindly to the epicentre of the enemy’s territory is just foolhardy. Who knows what they have planned for you there?”

Pinkie: Whatever it is. It’s not a party!

        Spike was forced to watch as the white gryphon disappeared into the clouds with Twilight in his arms, waiting for him to follow.

Doctor: Heaven forbid she rescue herself.

        “I’ll kill them… I’LL KILL THEM ALL!!!”

Pinkie: It’s nice to see that Spike is able to keep a clear head in stress filled situations!

Ditzy: Ugh, I never thought that the shadowy guy from last time would turn out like this.

Doctor: It looks like we’re stuck with him.

Pinkie: Is he the new main character now? The story seems to be all about him.

Ditzy: Let’s get out of here. Cake awaits us!

Doctor: (Nods)

Pinkie: Cake!        

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The entity looked down on the trio in anger and envy. Pinkie was dancing in the middle of the room to a dubtrot song coming from speakers on one of the wall monitors. Ditzy was pouring herself some punch while the Doctor was munching on some cake. It felt to the entity that they were mocking it. It wanted to join in and have some fun. It hadn’t had anything to eat in so long. It could kill for a piece of cake now. It glared at the Doctor as he ate a piece a cake in hate. It was his fault it was stuck like this, stuck in this formless invisible shape barely able to interact with the physical world.

        Ditzy invited Pinkie over and they started chatting. The Doctor ignored them and continued to chow down on his cake. The entity thought as it watched them. It was a pain trying to get at the Doctor. He was lucky and resourceful. Stupid lucky as the entity thought about it. Every attempt took up precious energy that was hard to gather. It doubted possessing Ditzy would work so well a second time, and suggesting her to kill the Doctor in his sleep won’t work. She would just shrug it off and ignore it. It couldn’t really make somepony do something they didn’t want to do. It needed to find a more effective way to strike at the Doctor, but how?

        “Oh come. Just ask him.” Ditzy pressured Pinkie.

        “Well....” Pinkie hesitated.”He always been so reluctant whenever I try anything!”

        “Just don’t push him too hard. He doesn’t like that.” Ditzy advised. “Just give him some breathing room and you will be fine.”

        “Say Doctor?” Pinkie asked getting in front of him to get his attention.

        “Hmm?” He responded looking at Pinkie curiously.

        “Timey would you like to dance? Well. Would ya?! Would ya?!” Pinkie asked eagerly.

        “Well, um.” The Doctor stumbled. He started to back away as Pinkie got into his face with an expectant look. Ditzy coughed in her hoof. Pinkie backed up a respectful distance and tried again.

        “I mean. Doctor would you like to have this dance?” Pinkie asked more courteously.

“Sure?”

        Pinkie exploded in joy and grabbed the Doctor and pulled him into the middle of the room. She made sure not to pull him too hard. She started dancing wildly while the Doctor slowly recovered from the sudden movement. When he got his bearings back he started dancing with her. It looked like he was having fun. Ditzy was practically cheering in the background.

        The entity flared up again in anger. It wanted to have fun too. It started concentrating its fury on the Doctor hoping energy would appear and fry him. This, however, didn’t happen. This suddenly got the entity an idea.

“That might work.” It thought. “I haven’t tried that yet.” It grew confident and chuckled. “This time Doctor you won’t be so lucky!”

“It is such a terrible time for Twilight Sparkle’s sister to be born in.” she stated. Next Chapter: Episode 20 - The Spread of Darkness - Chapter 10 Estimated time remaining: 12 Hours, 14 Minutes