Chapter 5: Pissed Off

Pinkie: Spike is cheesed off and won’t take it anymore!

        The scream deafened the Gryphons’ ears as this dark dragon opposed them. They all squeezed their eyes shut and grabbed the sides of their heads, trying to drown the sound out.

Doctor: (Griffon) It sounds like a dying cat!

The time was then. Spike threw his arms in the air

Pinkie: Like he just don't care!

and tar-like tentacles, almost strings of thick web extended from his body and wrapped around each Gryphon, sticking to them.

Ditzy: (Griffon) What are these?! Dragon boogies?

Their wings were caught and they began to descend. But that wasn’t good enough for Spike.

Ditzy: Right he needs to dismember something.

Doctor: No pointless violence? Don’t be silly!

Pinkie: Is he going to start wearing Griffons heads as hats now?

Doctor: Probably.

He grabbed his end of the webs

Ditzy: Spider-Spike, Spider-Spike, does whatever a spider does!

and ripped them down, causing the Gryphons’ descents to double in speed.

Doctor: You...sure show them?

A dense cloud of dirt erupted from the ground as the Gryphons landed,

Pinkie: They left a Griffon shaped hole in the ground.

most likely dead.

Ditzy: Now they will come back as cyborgs seeking revenge!

Doctor: Never assume someone is actually dead. This is coming from experience.

Pinkie: Even then.

        Twilight dragged her brother out of the thick black cloud of smoke

Doctor: (Shining) Ow, ow. Why can’t you use your magic?!

Ditzy: (Twilight) Opps, sorry.

Spike had made as a visual shield and brought her to Applejack and Big Mac. She snuck a glance at Spike who looked back. His expression was unreadable under the gooey exterior of his body.

Pinkie: Was it (Stretches her face out) like this? (Stretches her face another way) Or like this?

His eyes were burning hot as tar went to creep onto them,

Doctor: (Spike) Gah my eyes! It burns!

but burned into black smoke that rose to the sky. With a deeply distorted voice, he addressed the group.

Pinkie: (Spike) Can somepony call a doctor please? I’m in a lot pain! My eyes are really badly burned. Oh Celestia the pain! Please anypony!

        “Go back, now.” he said,

All: What? I can’t understand you!

turning back to the Gryphons. Twilight wasted no time complying with his order.

Ditzy: (Twilight) Alright Griffons! Let’s dance!

She forced magic into her horn,

Ditzy: Why did they even come at all if they aren’t going to actually do anything!

Doctor: (Sighs) Typical.

Pinkie: They’re...mortal support?

some of it growing dark. Something changed. Her spell was different.

Doctor: It turned them into potted plants.

Instead of a bright flash forcing them out of the area,

Ditzy: It only teleported them facing the other direction!

a dome of dark energy surrounded them and seemed to cut into the ground. They disappeared as the dome grew darker and reappeared in front of the still waiting group. Cadence rushed over to her husband and looked at him with a mixture of fear and anger.

Ditzy: (Cadance) That jerk didn’t pay the cable bill on time!

        Commander Reave stepped off of his ship to revel in his victory,

Ditzy: (Reave) Bring out all the booze you can! It’s party time!

but it was put on hold as something new arrived and threatened their hold on the bay. He ducked his head as one of his soldiers was thrown at him. The soldier screamed his lungs out as he went flying past, hitting the ship’s crewman behind Reave.

Doctor: It created a comedic bowling pin falling noise.

        “What the?” he asked calmly as he focused his eyes on the target. A strange black creature, draconic in nature was firing some sort of sticky substance at the Gryphons and grounding them, permanently. The Commander growled and issued his next orders.

Pinkie: (Reave) Run away! Run away!

        “Alright! Bombard the dragon with all our forces at once. He can’t get all of us.”

Doctor: That is your answer to everything.

Ditzy: Don’t think! Atack! Atack! Atack! Atack! Atack! Atack! Atack! Atack!

every Gryphon under his command nodded and complied with his command,

Pinkie: They ran at him arms flailing wildly!

taking to the sky. As they flew off, he whispered to the crewman. “Prepare to head back out to sea.” the crewman looked at the Commander with an expression of surprise and disgust.

Pinkie: (Reave) I’m sure you can handle this, later!

However, he did as he was told and spread the word.

Doctor: (Soldiers) We’re executing plan ‘Pee ourselves and run for the hills’.

        Spike threw down the last of the group of Gryphons and looked ahead to the tidal wave of feathers headed his way.

Pinkie: (Spike) Oh poopy, out of PP.

He realised they were going to flood him with soldiers.

Doctor: Instead of coming up with some sort of plan to corner or disable him. Or at least look for weaknesses first.

In the distance, he noticed a ship preparing to leave the port. One Gryphon in particular was glaring at him, trying to get a read of his skills. Spike grew furious.

Pinkie: (Spike) There’s are two things I can’t stand, pears and cowards!

That one Gryphon was the cause of all this, he was the source of Twilight’s tears.

Ditzy: Um, isn’t it the Griffon King’s for starting this stupid war in the first place?

        With an ear-splitting screech, Spike challenged everything in hearing range.

Pinkie: (Spike) And I'm taking you down, I'm taking you down, I'm taking you out, I'm taking you out and I'm taking you out, for dinner. Wait, no. What am I saying? I have Twilight.

The Gryphons continued to pursue him. It was then that they all lost.

Ditzy: He drew all five pieces of Exodia.

Spike stretched his arms out in front of him.

Ditzy: Spike is Dhalsim.

He opened his mouth and concentrated his energy in the dead centre between his head and hands. A black ball of pure condensed energy began to form out of nowhere,

Pinkie: Why can’t it be pink? Black is sooo boring.

Ditzy: It’s a dark fic. Everything has to be black.

green lightning flickering around it.

All: (Gasps)

Doctor: Actual color? Well I’ll be.

It grew in size until it was almost double his own. The Gryphons began to panic as they wondered what the next step was. Most hoped that thing wasn’t going to be fired at them.

Pinkie: (Griffon) That’s it! He going to throw it in the air to make cool fireworks! No need to worry at all.

        The ball of energy began to shrink, growing even more condensed until it was little bigger than a baseball.

All: (Hum Charge Theme)

There was a pause as the Gryphons waited for the end result, stunned into motionlessness. Spike began to open his mouth wider, his cheeks tearing at the motion.

Ditzy: (Spike) Gah! Why must my powers be so painful?

The gryphons flinched at the sound.

        With a mouth wider than an alligator,

Pinkie: But without teeth like Gummy!

Spike closed it over the ball of energy and swallowed it whole.

Pinkie: (Spike) Mmmmm. Tastes like raspberry!

His targets looked confused, but all was explained as Spike became rigid.

Doctor: He accidentally killed himself again.

Pinkie: What was he expecting to happen?

He seemed to be having difficulty moving as he went on all fours and lowered his head down to the ground.

Ditzy: (Spike) Ugh, I’m so stiff. I should have taken up Rarity’s offer to go to the spa!

Smoke escaped the corners of his mouth.

        “Retreat!” called one of the gryphons.

All: Run away! Run away!

Within a second, they were all beginning to scatter, scared of what might happen now Spike had given himself a power boost.

Pinkie: What? I thought he was just doing it for a snack!

        The dragon inhaled deeply and began to roar at them all, but instead of sound,

Doctor: He spit all over the place.

the energy came flowing out in a massive wave that hit the ground, propelling the dragon into the air and spreading out in a wave flooding everything in destructive energy within a mile radius.

Doctor: Oh, that’s why the author killed everyone in the town. So Spike could destroy the town with no moral repercussions.

Ditzy: Celestia forbid he actually fights them or is challenged.

Pinkie: Huh, one would think their would have been an easier way of doing that. Like a super yell or something.

        A mushroom cloud formed on the bay, and even at the distance they had covered, Reave could hear the agonised cries of his fallen soldiers. He shuddered at the sound, closing his eyes to the scene behind him.

Doctor: He went to his happy place and forgot everything going on around him.

        “Plot a course… home. I need to tell the King about our discovery.”

Pinkie: (Reave) We finally solved why foals love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch!

        “Yes, si–.” the crewman was cut off as something large and black landed on him and went through the deck.

Doctor: Spike threw an anvil on him.

Reave was stunned for a moment before going to look in the hole that had been made. At first, he could see nothing through the darkness, but a pair of white eyes flashed open after a few seconds and lunged at him.

Ditzy: I thought they were covered in tar.

The Gryphon Commander reared his head back quickly, narrowly missing a talon that threatened to take his other eye. In an instant, he drew his sword and prepared to meet the intruder.

Doctor: (Reave) On guard foul beast!

He was surprised to find the same dragon that had just destroyed his battalion within the minute, but he didn’t let that stop him from challenging the creature.

Pinkie: He pretty sure he could take Spike out no worries. Well, 50 percent sure. Make that 18 percent. Okay, 4 percent. Fine, he was convinced he was going to die, but he tried to not let that bother him.

        Spike purred at the chance to avenge Twilight’s sorrow and wasted no time with a simple duel between himself and the armed Commander.

Ditzy: He used his Limit Break right away.

He looked around at the ship and decided it would be easier just to let them all drown.

Doctor: Spike was getting lazy in his genocidal madness.

He lurched his body forward, the black substance from his body striking everything. Every Gryphon’s wings were trapped under the tar-like substance, unable to move. The dragon smiled before jumping back in the hole. There was a loud roar, then a smashing sound. Soon after, the crew all noticed a fountain of water spewing up from within the hole.

        “Abandon ship! Abandon ship!” the Commander ordered, jumping off the side. The crew did as ordered, letting the ship sink.

Doctor: (Soldier) Shouldn’t the captain go down with the ship sir? It’s tradition!

Ditzy: (Reave) Fine, I’m promoting you to commander and giving you command of this ship.

Doctor: (Soldier) I don’t know what to say. I’m honored sir.

Ditzy: (Reave) Good Griffon.  I have absolute confidence in you.

Doctor: (Soldier) I will do my best sir.

Ditzy: (Reave) Gullible sap.

        As the vessel began to submerge under the water, Reave was on the lookout for Spike. He hoped the dragon wouldn’t play dirty and drag the crew and himself underwater.

Ditzy: Sounds too tame for him.

        “Make way for land. I’d rather be a prisoner of war than dead.” Reave said.

Doctor: You won’t say that after eating Equestrian POW Food Parcels.

Pinkie: Yeah! They might as well give them dirt!

Doctor: Dirt would be too high class I think.

The crew accepted the order and made their way to land, their wings soaked and useless. It was then Reave noticed something: the tar had gone; like soap washed off in water. A smile crept onto the Gryphon’s features as he realised how he would be able to get around that barrier should he face Spike again.

Pinkie: It turns out seawater is Spike’s superhero weakness. One splash and he’s completely helpless!

        Shining Armour floated in a tank similar to Spike’s his body in magically induced suspended animation. A dreadful puncture wound resided over his heart. Thanks to the suspended animation conjured by his sister, he was unable to perceive the outside world in any way.

Pinkie: Much like Twilight when she’s reading.

He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, he couldn’t even bleed.

Ditzy: (Shining) I ain't got time to bleed!

He was for all intents and purposes, dead. Cadence refused to leave the tank, going so far as to place her bed beside it. Twilight was in a similar state, though she did not go to such lengths as to shift her bed.

Doctor: It was only his brother after all.

Pinkie: It would interrupt sexy time with Spike!

Spike would not enjoy withholding the ‘tension’ that had built up over the months, possibly years.

Doctor: He and Cadance never really got along.

        The ragtag group of ponies and a gryphon sat around Shining with their heads bowed. It was as good as a funeral with Cadence crying against his ‘coffin’, twilight patting her back.

Doctor: (Twilight) Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll find a new coltfriend. There are plenty of fish in the sea!

Spike entered the room, rubbing his wrist as though he’d hurt it in the fight.

Ditzy: (Snorts) Like that would ever happen.

He took no notice of the curious looks his comrades gave him as he went straight to his mare placed a clawed hand on her shoulder.

Pinkie: (Gasps)

Doctor: Comforting her after everything that has happen to her brother? How bizarre!

She’d been strong for Cadence during her time of need, but now she had somepony to cry on, she abandoned her old foalsitter and cried in Spike’s embrace.

Doctor: Who patted her back awkwardly.

Spike gladly supported Twilight as she released her sadness unto him, but was unprepared for Cadence’s tears. So the dragon was holding the heaving bodies of two ponies as he stared up at the conduit of their sorrow, the Captain of Celestia’s Guard.

Ditzy: Dark magic has solved every other problem in this story. Why not this one?

        Hours passed and the two mares showed no sign of letting up.

Pinkie: The entire castle was flooded.

Spike had asked Rarity to fetch the Grimoire from his room so he could do some reading as he was indisposed. Somewhat begrudgingly, he focused his mind on the contents of the book, leaving his body for Twilight and Cadence to continue their whining on.

Pinkie: What a jerk.

Doctor: Not really understanding this sympathetic shoulder thing are you?

He came across rather intriguing spells and incantations that would have made Starswirl’s beard twist.

Pinkie: Like a spell that turns beards into mustaches!

What intrigued him the most was the passage near the end of the book. More like a journal than an instruction to a spell, he read on.

Doctor: Though he was annoyed at Twilight and Candance’s crying distracting him.

Pinkie: Talk about inconsiderate!

        Entry 207:

        It has come to my attention that my fellow dragons will be waging war on the Equestrian race.

Doctor: (Book) They are called Equonies or somesuch.

Such a war will hinder my research greatly;

Pinkie: How are you suppose to collect butterflies with ponies and dragons fighting all over the place?

how greatly and for how long are incalculable at this present time. Despite this, I believe I may have come across the greatest discovery of my career.

Doctor: (Book) They laughed at me! They called me mad! They called my theories that bees are really aliens popestrous! Now I finally have the proof! Bwahahahahahaha!

Trans-special Reproduction.

Pinkie: Think about it, bunnies and dragon’s could have foals!

        Such a discovery may in fact end the upcoming war before it has even begun.

Ditzy: (Book) Everypony will be too busy with their foals to bother with silly things like war!

The theory is that with an Equestrian hatched dragon, it may be possible for reproduction between the dragon and the hatcher, resulting in a hybrid species altogether.

Doctor: (Raises eyebrow) Just a dragon hatched by a pony?

Ditzy: That makes no sense.

Tests have proven that unrelated births and hatchings between two random subjects, one a dragon, the other a pony yield infertility between the two species.

Ditzy: Uh what? Aren’t you still the same species?

Doctor: So, dragon that have been hatched by ponies have pony DNA perhaps?

At first, I believed my daughter to be a fool for loving an Equestrian despite the fact that he hatched her during my untimely absence, but her sudden pregnancy and adamant statement that she has seen no-one other than that Stallion prove my theory.

Pinkie: So she’s banging her dad?

Doctor: Technically

All: (Shutters).

        As a result, I have successfully captu bong red four Stallions and four Mares. My most recent cluster was eight so I have distributed one egg to each pony.

Pinkie: You are using your own foals in your experiments?!

Doctor: Disgusting. You are an insult to scientists everywhere!

As soon as the eggs hatch, I will document the respective pairs and raise my children so their growth can escalate to their hatchers’.

Doctor: With plenty of Wheaties.

When the time is right, I will let nature take it’s course and wait for results.

        There was a reference to three pages ahead of the note. Flicking through it, Spike read the corresponding entry.

        Entry 210:

        Success! After several months with my children, who miraculously hatched as opposing genders to their hatchers, most have either impregnated or fallen pregnant with hybrid spawn.

Doctor: So dragons form an intimate bond with the one who hatched them? Does this apply to dragons too.

Ditzy: This is so wrong.

Pinkie: (Pulls out a bucket of soapy water and starts cleaning herself with a sponge.)

Only one of my sons seems to fight the experiment,

Pinkie: (Dragon) You can’t tell me what to do! I hate you mom!

refusing to mate with his equine counterpart,

Ditzy: Celestia forbid.

however, he is still very protective of her. I believe Redeye has bonded with the mare on a more spiritual level than the others; something akin to friendship rather than love. No matter. My theory is correct and my greatest discovery is the birth of a new civilisation itself.

Doctor: That’s what they all say.

        Spike stopped reading and looked over the name of the son once again. ‘Redeye’. Celestia had told him that the dragon that had given her his egg was named Redeye. Was it possible that he, Spike, was the grandson of the Legendary Wingblade?

Pinkie: Since this is a fanfic, any contrivance is possible!

A niggling feeling worked its way in the back of his mind. He was curious, but he would find no answers in the book. He'd have to ask Celestia herself if he got the chance. Spike closed the book as he looked down at the cried-out ponies sleeping on him. With gentle precision, he placed Cadence comfortably onto her bed and pulled the covers over her body, then proceeded to carry Twilight back to their room. He made a mental note to ravish her if she woke up and let her be if she didn’t.

Ditzy: No no no no! Her brother just died!

Doctor: Why am I not surprised?

Pinkie: Stallions, they can only think of one thing!

 He knew she’d need either thing after what had transpired earlier that day.

Doctor: Or you could… I don’t know. Give her emotional support!

Pinkie: Just give her hugs already come on!

        He gently placed his Mare down onto their bed and pulled the covers over her. He then brushed a lock from her mane out of her face and gently kissed her, sliding his tongue ever so lightly across her lips. The mare licked her lips as a result and smiled, having tasted something familiar on them.

Pinkie: (Twilight) Has Spike been eating dog treats again?

He smiled back at her and crept into the bed on the other side. The lavender pony, darkened due to exposure to the dark magic, rolled over into his arms and sighed contently as she seemed to find sweet dreams in his embrace. Spike couldn’t help but press his pelvis against her lower body,

Ditzy: Now our comparisons to a dog seem highly appropriate.

smirking as the action brought on a wider smile from the mare.

        “Did I wake you?” he asked. Twilight nodded, opening her glowing violet eyes.

Pinkie: She shot laser beams from them!

        “Yes, but that’s okay. I woke up to something I needed.” she replied, pushing against his pelvis with hungry intent.

        (Clop Scene)

Ditzy: Her.Brother.Just.Died!

Pinkie: Dead siblings always get her in the mood!

Ditzy: This is all kinds of messed up!

Doctor: (Sighs and shakes head)

Next Chapter: Episode 18 - The Spread of Darkness - Chapter 06 Estimated time remaining: 13 Hours, 19 Minutes