Hello! This is the final chapter of the Starlight Saga and, unsurprisingly, it ends inconclusive and disappointing. I strangely actually found myself rather enjoying the Starlight Saga. Something about it is really enduring. It’s like a child’s finger paint drawing. I also rather enjoyed seeing Twow’s skill as a writer improve as it went along. Believe it or not, but he actually has his own riffing series.  It’s called twow's Labtastic Riffs. Checking it out sometime, it’s good. It does a lot of NSFW stories though.

I am changing the schedule a little bit. This year I am going to a special Halloween/Nightmare chapter. I found the perfect “horror’ story to do. It’s The Beginning of the End by pinkie_pie240. It is, without a doubt, the worst story I have riffed by far. I can’t even describe just how inept it is and it fails on pretty much every level.  I could write a 10 page essay on everything it does wrong! Hopefully, it should be done by Halloween, but you never know with these things. I think it should be ready by then. I am already working on it. I will return to my normal schedule after Beginning of the End with An "Unreal" Day by Brian Jacko.

If you have a fanfic recommendation, comments, or criticisms please leave a comment or PM me at my fimfiction account or my blog on Tumblr. Please NO clop or fanfiction with extreme violence. I am not going to do those. I want to do a more family friendly series and it is going to be relatively clean. Besides everyone else does them. Okay, I might do one for a special occasion. But otherwise no clop or extreme gore fics. Ok, enough rambling. On with the fic!

Special thanks to twow443 for letting me do his story. You are awesome!

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Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 13 - Part 1

Ditzy huffed as she went down the pathway. “Just a little further.” She thought to herself. She took a turn past a bush. After losing her wings when the Doctor accidently turned her into a human, Ditzy decided to take up jogging to release some pent up energy she was gathering. She was wearing a dark grey sweatshirt and pink trousers. It wasn’t quite the same as flying, but she enjoyed it. She thought she might try some try some light running when she gets her body back.

            She took another turn. Turning into a human wasn’t as bad as she initially thought, but she would really like to have her normal body back. Luckily she won’t be stuck in this form for long. The way the Doctor explained it, magical transformations naturally wear off. Magical transformations twist the body into something it’s not, a form it was never meant to be. The transformation magic turned her body into the form of a human, but Ditzy’s body naturally wants to be a pony. The pressure of body’s desire to return back in its natural form strains against the spell until it inevitably fails. It is similar to stretching a rubber band. You can pull it as much as you want, but once you let go, it returns back to its normal shape. This is why transformation spells don’t last very long.  To put it simply, you can’t change something into something it’s not. Not even simple changes like hair color can last long. Only powerful magic like Discord’s can break these rules. The Doctor figured Ditzy will only stay human for a week or so, much to her relief.

            Ditzy slowed down and started panting. She took out a water bottle that was attached to her belt and gulped it down. She wiped her mouth and sat down on the grass.  She decided to just stay there for awhile and enjoy the scenery. Even if all tree and flowers in front of her weren’t real, they were still quite beautiful. Dinky really outdid herself designing this garden.

“You seem to be adapting well.” Ditzy looked up to find the Doctor trotting up to her.

            “You should join me sometime. It would be a lot of fun.”

“I do enough running as it is. Besides I hate breaking out into a sweat.”

“Doctor, you are going to get fat.” Ditzy poked him in the stomach. “All you seem to do is sit on your flank all day. What is going to happen when a monster tries to eat your face?”

“Ditzy, I’m a time lord. My body’s muscles are naturally resistant to atrophying and I have a high metabolism. It will be a long time before my body starts slowing down and gaining weight, years in fact”

“Right.” Ditzy sounded skeptical. She bet he was just saying this to get out of work. It won’t be the first time. In truth, a lot of things the Doctor claimed about Time Lords seemed absolutely ridiculous. It seemed to her that the Doctor sometimes seems to have convenient powers that helped him get out of sticky situations. Ditzy wondered if one day the Doctor will reveal that he has godlike powers that, for some reason, refused to use until now despite all logic.

“Do you like being human?” The Doctor asked. “I certain must be quite the unique experience.”

                   Ditzy shrugged. “It’s okay. Honestly though, it feels more trouble than it’s worth.” Ditzy started wiggling her fingers. “Especially these things.”

The Doctor looked thoughtful. “I’m not surprised. It would most likely take you years to gain the dexterity a normal human would have. You haven’t spent all your life learning to use them.”

“I’ll take hooves any day.” Ditzy muttered.

The Doctor laughed. “I’m sure you would. It can’t be easy adapting to a completely different species.”

“I’m wondering why you were able to adapt so easily.” Ditzy pondered. “It doesn’t seem to bother you much at all.” It felt wrong for her to be in this form. It wasn’t her.

“I think the regeneration helped me adapt.” The Doctor concluded. “Not to the mechanics of being a pony, but the mindset of being something else.”

Ditzy tilted her head. “Really?”

The Doctor nodded. “It was the same for my other regenerations. I entered a new mind set, a new frame of mind, to match my body and thus am able to adapt very quickly. Quite ingenious really.”

Ditzy thought on this. “So are you a new person now?”

“Technically. My personally changes quite a bit from incarnation to incarnation, but I general stay the same person.”

“So you are a different person. Your personality is different.” Ditzy felt sorry for anypony that had to deal with Doctor suddenly changing like that. Ditzy didn’t like the idea of a friend just changing like that, into something different, yet the same.

The Doctor gave that look he gave when he felt Ditzy was missing the point. “Yes, yes. If you want to put it that way.”

“Do you hold a funeral for your old selves?”  Ditzy pondered.

The Doctor looks aghast. “Why would I do that? It isn’t like I actually died.”

“It seems like a good idea to me.”

“Out with the old and in with the new I always say.” The Doctor exclaimed. “Besides, it isn’t like they’re actually gone per say.” The Doctor pointed to his head. “They’re still here.”

Ditzy looked confused. “Can they come back?”

“No, no. They’re gone, but a part of them still remains.”

Ditzy still looked confused. Ditzy had no idea how the Doctor could stay so calm about losing himself and becoming somepony else. She shook her head. Time Lords are weird.

The Doctor looked at a nearby clock. “30 minutes until the experiment starts. You should probably shower and get changed.” The Doctor gave a wry smile.  “Unless you want to go in all sweaty like that.”

Ditzy blushed and quickly left for their room.

“You’re late.” Dinky chastised. It took Ditzy 10 minutes longer than expected to get ready. She was now wearing a simple bluish grey flannel shirt with grey shorts. A week later and she still had trouble dressing herself. This was why she doesn’t like clothes. She was just glad Rarity wasn’t here. The last thing she wanted was that mare fretting over her, trying to make her look pretty, and using her as inspiration for new fashion ideas.

“Sorry, these clothes are a pain to get on.” Ditzy muttered. She wondered why the Doctor won’t just let her walk around with only ‘panties’ as the Doctor called them. He said it wouldn’t be proper. She wondered why humans, particularly human mares, need to wear so many layers of clothes. Ditzy decided that if she ever met a human, she would ask them that.

 “Let’s get right to it. Today’s experiment will be books three and four of the Legend of Starlight by twow443.” The Doctor and Ditzy looked aghast.

“How many books are there?” Ditzy asked in wonder. The Doctor just sighed.

            “Enjoy.” Dinky gave out an evil laugh.The experiment alarm went off. The two time travelers dashed to the theater.

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Chapter 1-The Carnival of the Sun

Ditzy: Four books? Do you think this series has a Tvtropes page?

“Ahhhhh!!!” The three fillies, known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders ran down the hill by Sweet Apple Acres.

Doctor: They were reenacting the Battle of Trotterloo.

They were in the process of being chased by a rather large boulder. “Ah told you that rock-climbing was a bad idea!” Applebloom yelled.

Doctor Somehow...I’m not surprised by this.

Ditzy: (Nods)

“You didn't say that when we were almost at the top!” Scootaloo yelled back, also running. Sweetie Belle was silently running.

Ditzy: Poor thing is too scared to banter.

“We're almost at the farm!” Scootaloo yelled.

Ditzy: (Scootaloo) Applejack will be able to smash the boulder to pieces for sure!

Behind them, the boulder was getting closer. “We ain't gonna make it!” Applebloom said in a panic. Suddenly a lightning fast blur came out of nowhere and slammed into the boulder, pushing it back.

Doctor: Unfortunately the boulder’s weight and momentum were too much and the figure was quickly crushed.  

The three fillies turned to look. They saw a human dressed in cyan and rainbow and holding a dark blue sword.

Ditzy: (Scootaloo) Booo! I wanted it to be Rainbow Dash!

Doctor: (Applebloom) Ah was hopin’ it be mah sister!

“It's Prince Starlight!” Sweetie Belle yelled.

Doctor: It’s a bird!

Ditzy: It’s a plane!

Doctor: It’s Supersue!

The prince kicked the boulder statight up and launched into the air. With a couple of lightning fast slashes, he reduced the big rock to rubble.

Doctor: Unfortunately, the pieces of rubble weren’t small enough and Star was pelted by rocks.

He then turned and flew over to the young fillies. “Hey there guys. Pardon me for asking, but why were you playing tag with a boulder?”

Ditzy: (Star) Is this some new internet fad like planking?

The CMC bowed to the prince. “Umm, we thought that rock-climbing would help us get our cutie marks.” Sweetie said.

“So we kinds sorta made out own.” Scootaloo finished.

Ditzy: (Scootaloo) In retrospect, it was a bad idea to place giant rocks at the top.

Starlight shook his head, smiling. “If you needed help, you should have gotten me. I was at Twilight's all morning.”

Ditzy: He has nothing better to do I guess.

The fillies looked up in shock. “You really mean it, Prince?”

Doctor: (Star) I seem to be the only one that does anything around here.

“You know I love helping you crusade.” Starlight told them, desummoning his sword.

Doctor: (Star) Getting cover in tree sap notwithstanding.

“Aren't you three going to get ready?”

“Ready for what?” They asked simultaneously.

Ditzy: Ready for some hoofball!

“The carnival!” he said. “It's today.”

Doctor: Ponyville has a surprising large amount of festivals and carnivals for such a small town.

The three fillies gasped and dashed off in excitement. As  Starlight prepared to take off, Scootaloo ran back and said, “Thank you for saving us.” She ran off after her friends.

Doctor: (Scootaloo) We should try to get our cutie marks in firework shooting!

Ditzy: (Sweetie) That’s a great idea Scootaloo!

Doctor: (Applebloom) Ah think I know where we might get some!

Ditzy: (Star) Oh for… did you listen to a thing I said?!

…

The Carnival of the Sun. Ponyville had three major “carnivals”

Ditzy: It does?

Doctor: Best not argue about it. It isn’t worth it.

This one, Nightmare Night and another one that I couldn't remember.

Ditzy: (Star) Something called the Carnival of Souls I think.

As I flew, I remembered what this celebration was about.

Ditzy: Getting so drunk that you can’t remember the previous night.

The carnival was to celebrate when Celestia defeated Nightmare Moon after I had been sent to Earth.

Doctor: Doesn’t the Summer Sun Celebration already do that?

What made this year special was that Celestia had given me permission to try out a special spell.

Ditzy: Is this such a good idea after last time?

The carnival took place in Canterlot and Ponyville and usually, several strong stallions would volunteer to pull carriages to take ponies back and forth. 

Doctor: They do have trains you know.

But Twilight had found a special portal spell and wanted to open up a pathway from Ponyville to Canterlot so everypony could enjoy what both towns had to offer.

Ditzy: (Pony) Ten bits for a soft drink?! This is ridiculous!

I flew faster, knowing I was late.

Doctor: (Star) Mayor Mare strong hoofed me into doing a speech. Twilight is going to kill me.

“You sure this'll work, Prince?” Twilight asked me when I arrived.

Ditzy: Tearing a giant hole into the time space continuum, what could possible go wrong?

I walked around and examined the area we were going to create the portal. “Don't see why it won't. Let's do this already. I'm excited for this.”

Doctor: His spell failed and brought eldritch horrors into his universe causing an end to all life on Earth.

I knew that even though I was a alicorn,

Ditzy: I don’t think alicorn is quite the right term.

Doctor: A humicorn maybe?

Ditzy: Yeah, that works.

I didn't know a lot about magic in general.

Doctor: Then that makes casting such a complex and dangerous spell a really bad idea.

Ditzy: Somepony has been skipping out on their magic lessons.

Doctor: He lives with Twilight, this shouldn’t be possible.

Most of the spells I had used were in the heat of the moment.

Ditzy: Oh, so most of the spells you used are something you just made up, and they just happened to work right.

This was a perfect chance to try out some focused magic.

Doctor: Of course, if you mess up you might kill us all, but go right ahead.

Twilight and I stood about 12 feet back from the portal area.

Ditzy: No, you stood 12 hooves back from the portal area.

The pegasus in the area had moved everypony back from the spot.

Doctor: The terror and tension in the air was palpable.

“You ready?” I asked. She nodded. I raised my right hand at the ground and my horn necklace started to glow. I shot a thick white beam at the ground, then moved it upward in a circular shape. I created a circle

Doctor: So a circular shape doesn’t create an oval? Who would have thought?

with the beam then looked at Twilight. Taking the hint,

Ditzy: (Twilight) Opps. I got distracted there for a moment.

she flashed her horn and shot the middle of the circle, making the area inside ripple like the surface of a lake. I ended the beam seeing the circle was intact, then started the next part of the spell. I walked up and plunged my arms into the rippling middle of the circle.

Ditzy: (Star) Cold! Cold!

“Canterlot!”

Ditzy: Canterlot!

Doctor: Canterlot!

Ditzy: It’s only a model.

I yelled, my eyes glowing. A brilliant flash of light appeared

Ditzy: (Star) Out of my eyes frying everything in their path.

and blew me backwards. I made a neat landing on my feet as everypony in the area gasped.

Ditzy: Horrors beyond pony understanding started coming out of the portal.

I turned and saw Celestia walking from the circle.

Ditzy: It work? I thought Star being thrown back meant he falled.

Doctor: First time for everything.

She walked over to Twilight and said, “Well done Twilight. It seems that your portal was successful.”

Doctor: (Star) What about me...

She turned and looked at all the ponies, who were all bowing. “Let the carnival begin!”…

Picture one of Pinkie's parties. Then imagine that she threw the party for Canterlot, Ponyville and Cloudsdale at the same time.

Ditzy: It was a party armageddon.

You wouldn't even be close to how insane this carnival was.

Doctor: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes! The dead rising from the grave! Pony sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

There were games everywhere, snack booths all over the place.

All: The horror!

Everypony was helping or playing or just being downright silly,

Ditzy: (Spike) Uh Twilight, why are there ponies yodeling while ballerina dancing?

Doctor: (Twilight) Oh Spike, they’re just ponies getting in the spirit of the The Carnival of the Sun.

Ditzy: (Spike) It’s just plain weird if you ask me.

and it was awesome. The first 3 hours of the thing was pretty much me and Celestia

Doctor: Shaking hooves.

getting pulled around to check out the different attractions. This celebration was mostly about her,so it made sense.

Doctor: I imagine she doesn’t get time to unwind like this often.

I was mostly being pulled along because I was her little brother.

Ditzy: They had a wacky picture taken of them in a photo booth.

I can't even count how many times I had to go though that bucking portal we made.

Doctor: And Celestia kept insisting on going on rides that loop and go around in circles.

All my friends were doing something special for the carnival too. Rarity was making special garments,

Ditzy: At exuberant prices!

Doctor: She was selling novelty t-shirts.

Twilight was preforming spells for ponies, Fluttershy was taking care of animals,

Doctor: You mean she was running a petting zoo?

Pinkie was baking treats like crazy, Applejack was selling special apple treats I spent 4 hours with her making

Ditzy: (Applejack) Yeehaa! Now we can afford that new hip for Granny!

and Rainbow was going to preform her Sonic Rainboom in the evening

Doctor: (Rainbow) Is that all I’m good for now? I can perform more tricks then that!

Speaking of which,

Ditzy: So...what was Spike doing?

Doctor: Helping Rarity probably.

Ditzy: Of course he was. (Grumbles).

I hadn't seen my cyan-colored marefriend all day, until she ran into me by Applejack's stand.

Doctor: (Star) Gah! Why can’t you watch where you are going?

“Hai Prince!” Rainbow said, suddenly all formal as she bowed to me.

“What, no sarcastic comment?” I asked her as she looked at me.

“Course not.” She said, looking completely innocent.

Doctor: (Star) Maybe I should get a marefriend that isn’t constantly condescending towards me.

“Gotta be on my best behavior around royalty.” She pointed in the direction of Celestia.

“Oh and what am I?” I asked, smirking.

Ditzy: A commoner not worthy of his title?

“Not as important?” She said, smirking. “Come up to the sky if you wanna see some of the moves I'm gonna use in the celebration!” She shot up into the air.

Applejack shook her head. “Ah don't understand why you let her talk to you like that.”

Doctor: (Star) I enjoy being verbally abused.

“That's how she is?” I said.

Ditzy: And that makes any bad behavior A-ok.

“See you a little later, AJ” I launched upwards.

In the air, I was tackled by Rainbow. We spun around from the force of her kiss.

Doctor: And crashed into some nearby ponies.

Breaking free, I asked, “Couldn't wait to see me?”

Ditzy: (Rainbow) No, get those clothes off now.

“I missed you all week, where were you?” She asked.

Ditzy: (Rainbow) We went a week without banging! I expect everything back with interest.

“Helping with the preparations in Canterlot.” I said. “Everything turned out great.”

Rainbow giggled, something completely out of character for her.

Doctor: I think Tartarus froze over.

“It sure did. Now you're mine until evening.”

Doctor: (Rainbow) Don’t expect to walk straight for a week.

“Oh the horror!” I mock-yelled. She laughed and pulled me to our cloud.

Ditzy: Then pulled out a rag with chloroform on it.

…

I did a copy spell

Ditzy: (Star) Rainbow was into that sort of thing.

Doctor: Having fun?

Ditzy: I can’t help it! It’s just too easy!

on the portal, making it so it would stretch across the sky.

Ditzy: That...doesn’t sound safe at all.

That way, everypony in Canterlot and Ponyville could see the air show.

Doctor: I don’t think it is such a good idea to bend so much reality at once. You might cause irreversible damage to space time.

Ditzy: Who cares about that? Fireworks!  

First, it was Pinkie's fireworks that I helped her make.

Doctor: Is there anything you didn’t help with?

Then the Wonderbolts did a performance. Finally, it was Rainbow's turn. She was absolutely beautiful in the air. Finally, at the end she rose to preform her Rainboom and suddenly fell.

Ditzy: She’s been hit! Mare down!

Everypony gasped and I jumped up from next to my sister and shot into the air. Rising to her, she flipped over and gave me a mischievous grin. “Ready?”

I nodded and we shot down, then created a twin Rainboom that spread across the portal.

Ditzy: Dear Celestia what have you done!

Doctor: We’re all doomed!

When we landed, the applause was amazing.

Ditzy: (Fluttershy) Woohooo!

Wonderbolts went to do a encore as we flopped down by my sister.

“Wonderful job, Starlight.” Celestia said. “I need to return to Canterlot. Would you mind staying in my place?

Doctor: (Celestia) Now I have somepony to draw the press’s attention while I make my escape.

“You knew we were gonna do that, didn't you?” I said. Celestia nodded.

Ditzy: (Celestia) You looked like somepony about to jump out of their seat the entire time.

I smiled and said, “Fine, I'll see you at the palace later.” Celestia flew upward and went back to Canterlot.

Rainbow sneakily snuggled up next to me. “We did good, didn't we?”

“Yes we did.” I said. We sat there as the Wonderbolts finished.

Doctor: (Pony) This is lame.

Ditzy: (Pony) I want another Rainboom!

Just as everypony was about to started heading home, Rainbow nudged me. “Starlight, look!” We saw a strange wagon roll onto the stage, covered in stars.  

Ditzy: (Trixie) Now it’s time for The Great and Powerful Trixie to show you all a real performance!

Next Chapter: Episode 13 - Legend of Starlight - Book 3 - Part 2 Estimated time remaining: 20 Hours, 7 Minutes