Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 7 - Part 2

Time had always been a symptom of the dangers Spike and his friends had faced, ever since Nightmare Moon. Time always moved forward, like a wave, never turning back unless hit against a wall.

Doctor: No, time is an ever flowing river. Never straight or narrow, able to diverge but still staying on the same path more or less.

 But for Spike, a wall was out of the question.

Ditzy: Um, is this going to involve time travel?

His wave had faded out in the vast mass of water that was solitude.

Ditzy: I’m not really getting the metaphor here.

No longer could he continue to act so carelessly around Twilight.

Doctor: Yeah, maybe that was a bad idea.

Ditzy: Hopefully not only to Twilight.

Or perhaps she was the proverbial wall? Yes, Spike had hit a wall; his oldest friend.

Ditzy: It left him a bloody stain.

The knowledge that she could kill herself if he’d left her again grounded him. And now he had to deal with five very upset mares, not to mention their families and three very vengeful ‘Crusaders’.

Ditzy: Hopefully it will lead to a lynching!

Spike sighed as the predicament struck him like a lightning bolt. He’d managed to calm Twilight down with his special brew of hot chocolate,

Ditzy: AKA liquor.

which she’d spilled the first time when she took it with her bad hoof.

Doctor: He didn’t take her to the hospital?

She wouldn’t be walking or reading books for a while.  

Doctor: Please, having all her limbs and her horn broken wouldn’t stop Twilight from reading.

The two of them were sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace. Spike had leant himself against the couch with Twilight leaning against him. He remembered a time he could do this without the couch sliding along the floor against his mass.

Doctor: Causing him to fall off, hit his head, and break his head open. The End.

“Every time…” he began, catching her attention. She looked at him with swollen red eyes and a worried expression.

Ditzy: Oh no. He’s going to make a speech!

“Every time something seems to go bad for you, you always end up getting what you want. You wanted to find the Elements of Harmony, you became them. You wanted your friends to get over their differences when facing Discord, you made it happen. You tried to cancel your brother’s wedding, the bride was fake and you rescued the real one so he could marry her. You wanted nothing more than to pass the test Celestia gave you in the Crystal Empire, you sacrificed that goal so I could save an empire and you ended up passing your test because of it. The list goes on. If luck was an Element of Life, it’d be you, Twi.”

Ditzy: Not really. She’s friends with you.

Twilight smiled at him and nuzzled his chest. She abandoned the hot chocolate and cuddled with him.

Doctor: Causing it to fall on Spike’s lap.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. Spike, you don’t have to stay.” Spike huffed in annoyance.

“Yes, I do. I owe you that much, after everything you’ve done for me.”

Ditzy: Now you care? Really?

Doctor: You’re not going to give him the benefit of the doubt, are you?

Ditzy: Never!

“What have I done? I’ve worked you to the bone, acted like a slave driver, used you in magical experiments, like with the moustache.”

Doctor: The moustache experiments still give Spike nightmares.

“You gave me life, food, a place to sleep, love. You taught me the differences between right and wrong,

Doctor: Which you haven’t used almost the entire story!

Ditzy: Where was your sense of right and wrong when you killed that blue dragon guy for no reason?

you taught me how to read and write.

Doctor: (Spike) I ran a Dragon Book Club for the last few years.

And if it weren’t for those experiments, I never would have gained the ability to harness the magic that hatched me.

Ditzy: So...that is why he can use black magic?

Doctor: Through experimentation, mild mannered Spike the Dragon gain super powers and became the lone vigilante… Humdrum!

Besides, I liked the moustache.” he chuckled. Twilight giggled as his comment and his scales both tickled her in different ways.

Doctor: Tickle Me Twilight.

“It’s good to have you home though, Spike.” she said. Spike felt a familiar pang in his heart. One he’d spend the day trying to eliminate.

Doctor: Spike’s heart grew three sizes that day.

“Twi…I’m not staying. I’m just going to help you get back on your hooves as it were. When you no longer need me, then I’m gone. Nothing’s changed except for the length of my stay. I’m simply repaying a debt.” Even Spike didn’t believe what he’d said. His voice betrayed the sincerity of his words.

Ditzy: So we are stuck with him?

Doctor: Unfortunately.

“At least… for now.” he added. Twilight squeezed him tightly and fell asleep. With a heavy but silent sigh, Spike wrapped his arms around her and hoisted her up into the air. He carried her to her room and gently placed her down on her bed.  He picked up the small shards of the mug and held them in his hand. He removed a hair from one of them and then proceeded to swallow them all down.

Ditzy: Um, okay….

Doctor: Dragons make excellent garbage disposals.

“Not as good as gems, but still high in fibre.” He looked down to Twilight once more and brushed a lock of her mane from her face.

Ditzy: (Spike) Ugh, this love and affection is really getting to me. I know! I’ll kick Fluttershy to make up for it!

Don’t do anything stupid before I get back.

Doctor: Too late, she’s friends with you.

I’d hate to have to explain this to your friends.” he picked up a quill and wrote on a small piece of paper.

I’m going out.

Will be back before

morning. Don’t do

anything stupid.

Spike

Doctor: Don’t do anything stupid. Yes, I’msure that will deter a suicidal person.

He left the note on the bedside table and closed the bedroom door behind him.

“I’ve got more blood on my hands than I care for.” he said, looking at the recently cleaned claws that were his hands.

Ditzy: This is coming from a guy that randomly killed his friends for annoying him?

Applejack paced her room, still steaming over what Spike had said to her.

“Buck me? BUCK ME? That little shit thinks he’s invincible now he’s gone and grown twice my height. Well Ah’ll teach him. Y’all don’t mess with the Apple family and get away with it.

Ditzy: (Applejack) Time for an old fashion Apple Family Licking!

Ah don’t care how Twilight feels about it, Ah’m gonna deck him the next time Ah see him. Ah don’t care if he feels it or not, it’ll be a great stress reliever.”

Ditzy: Good idea! Somepony should patent that!

She stomped her hoof on the floor, rattling the wood around her. Suddenly, she heard a knock on the door. The orange mare calmed down and descended the stairs from her room to answer it. To her surprise and slight satisfaction, it was Spike.

Doctor: (Spike) Applejack? Perfect, just the mare I wanted to…

Ditzy: (Applejack) It’s about time I give what’s comin to ya’.

Doctor: (Spike) What? No! Argh! Dear Celestia! Mercy please!

“Well, well. If it ain’t the Apple bucker, figuratively speakin’.” she said. Spike said nothing to that as he looked at the Library behind him which could just be made out in the distance.

Ditzy: Giving Applejack the perfect opportunity to beat the stuffing out of him.

“Let’s not beat around the bush… figuratively speaking.” he said.

“Yeah, let’s not.” Applejack turned around and prepared to buck him with her hind legs. As she went to take a powerful kick at him, she felt two large claws grip her hind hooves.

Ditzy: (Sighs) Will we ever see Spike get exactly what he deserves?

“Why you-WOAH!” Spike dragged her out of the house and threw her across the front yard. She managed to land on her hooves and prepared to charge the dragon.

Doctor: (Spike) That was totally uncalled for! What did I ever do?

“You’re not getting’ away with this, Spike.” she declared.

Ditzy: (Spike) Of course I will! The author is on my side!

“Hit me all you want after I’ve said what I came here to say.” he replied, sitting down where he was.

Doctor: Can we hold you to that?

This caught Applejack off guard, but she didn’t buy it. She charged him, fully intent to at least give him a lump. She reared her head forward and tried to ram him bull-style, but she heard a sigh before she was grabbed by the head and lifted into the air.

Ditzy: This is so stupid.

“Woah! Hey, put me down, that’s not fair now!” she yelled at him.

“Not until you agree to listen to me first. Like I said, you can buck me up till I’m black and blue after that.” he said. Applejack growled at him, but ultimately agreed to the terms.

Doctor: It was known as the Ponyville Treaty of 1007 C.R.

“So what you wanna talk about? Or are you gonna say some fancy stuff that’ll really make me wanna pound ya?” Spike clasped his hand around Applejack’s mouth, sighing in frustration.

Doctor: Gee. You berate someone and her friends all day and suddenly she’s aggressive towards you.

“I’m on a deadline here, AJ. Shut up and listen.”

Ditzy: (Spike) The post office closes in an hour.

Applejack, though annoyed, complied with his request. With the silence eerie between them, Spike prepared his lie.

“As you well know by now, I couldn’t give the furry crack of a rat’s behind about any of you anymore,” he began. Applejack shifted in her place, itching to take a swing at him.

Ditzy: That didn’t last very long.

Doctor: I am so glad Twilight’s well being is in his claws.

“But I feel I owe a debt to Twilight for bringing me into this world. Which is why I’m going to help her. But I need your help as well.” Applejack rubbed her head in confusion.

“Ah don’t see the… urgency you seem to give this conversation, Spike. Hurry up and gimme the details.” she said. Spike growled at her.

Ditzy: (Spike) I was getting to that! Don’t interrupt!

“Fine. I caught Twilight trying to kill herself earlier tonight.” Applejack rose to her hooves and backed away.

“W-what? No, she wouldn’t. Why would she try to kill herself?” Spike looked at her.

“Why do you think? I left her. I abandoned her. She’s obviously been talking herself out of it up until tonight. My coming back has made things worse,

All: Has it ever!

especially after I treated her and all of you like shit. I can’t leave until she’s in the right frame of mind. And I’m sure you want me gone as much as I want to go, but in order to do that, we need to work toge–.”

Doctor: (Applejack) No Spike! I think you’ve gone and done enough. Leave. Now!

“Ah don’t want you to go Spike… Ah just wanna know what’s gotten you so angry. Why did you leave?” The conversation ended there.

Doctor: How many times must we be reminded that he doesn’t want to talk about his past?

Ditzy: Honestly, now seems like a good time to come clean.

“You’d rather hear why I left than hear the plan I have to save Twilight from herself? Maybe I should have gone to the Element of Loyalty instead.”

Doctor: You have a plan? No thank you. I think we’re better off just getting professional help.

“Ah wanna know what caused you to do this to Twilight. Ah think if she knew, she might feel better. Or at the very least, not suicidal.” Spike saw logic in her idea, but he was not going to give up that information. But he could partially sate her thirst for it.

Ditzy: Come on! What is so important that not even this will make him spill it?

“I left because of my own stupidity. I won’t say more than that.

Doctor: At least tell us something that isn’t completely obvious.

Look, are you gonna help me or not?” Applejack couldn’t refuse this request. If it was to save Twilight, then she’d team up with Discord if she had to.

Doctor: Why can’t the story be about that instead?

Ditzy: Because it would actually be entertaining?

“Alright. It’s a deal. Now about that other deal we had…” Spike rose to his feet.

Ditzy: And ran for the hills.

“Yeah, later.” he said. Applejack stood there, stunned for a second.

“Hey! You said Ah could beat you senseless when we were done.” she called out.

Ditzy: I’m sure it would give the story plenty of upvotes.

Spike turned around and continued to walk backward with a smile and his arms outstretched.

Ditzy: (Spike) Give me a hug you silly pony.

“You’re the Element of Honesty, not me.” he then proceeded to run away, prompting Applejack to chase after him. To their joint surprise, they both found themselves laughing as they chased each other through Ponyville, waking the neighbourhood.

Doctor: (Applejack laughing) You silly hayseed! I’m going to be break your skull in and spill your brains all over the road!

Ditzy: (Spike laughing) Not if you don’t catch me!

“Uh-oh. Spike, we’re in trouble now.” she said, abandoning her goal and galloping alongside him.

“So we are. I think I hear one of them saying’ raise your torch and pitchforks’.” he replied, prompting a laugh from the farm pony. She looked back and yelped in surprise.

Ditzy: Even the random extras want Spike gone.

“Oh boy, they really do have torches and pitchforks.”

Doctor: Don’t be silly. You can’t have an angry mob without torches and pitchforks.

The two picked up their pace and laughed together as they tried to flee from the tired and angry mob.

Ditzy: Did I miss something? Why is there an angry mob?

Doctor: Did the author forget to write a few paragraphs?

Spike noticed what he was doing and barked a single laugh.

“What am I thinking?” he yelled out. Using his magic, he grew his wings, their structure reversed like before.

Ditzy: (Spike) Don’t laugh! It’s cool darnit!

He took to the air, hovering above Applejack.

“Don’t get the wrong idea, AJ.” he said, grabbing her from around the stomach.

Doctor: (Spike) I wanted to leave you here to be brutally lynch by the mob, but that would make Twilight upset.

She yelped in surprise as she was lifted into the air. Not far, but their speed doubled.

Ditzy: The speed has been double!

“You might wanna hold on tight.” Spike said, turning her around. Applejack wrapped her hooves around his neck and her hind legs around just below the wing joints. Spike made a sharp left turn and flew straight for two blocks, then he made another left turn.

Ditzy: Crashing into a glass panel two ponies were carrying.

“This is like NASCARRIAGE.” Applejack called out above the howl of the wind.

Ditzy: Er. What?

“NAS-what?”

Doctor: Oh, of course. NASCAR only with carriages.

“It’s a race with carriages. But the only direction they go is left.” Spike laughed as he made another left turn.

Doctor: Congratulations for the most obvious NASCAR joke ever.

Then he kept true towards the Apple farm, bypassing the angry crowd who were two blocks away, going in the opposite direction. Spike grinned as he felt the wind whip his face.

Ditzy: Until he saw half of the mob flying behind them.

“You know, I think I get why Dash likes flying so much. It’s a great feeling to have the wind on your face and your body gets cool which cancels out the heat you feel when you exert yourself.” he said. Applejack just bunched herself up closer to him, trying to keep the cold from freezing her mane off.

“Ah don’t know about you, but Ah feel like I’m in the Northern Mountains right now.” Spike slowed his flight and descended upon the farm. He made for a gentle landing and he released Applejack as his wings were absorbed back into his body.

“Y’know, Spike. Ah don’t think your reason for leavin’ us was good enough.

Doctor: I don’t think anyone thinks that.

And Ah’m not entirely sure you are either.

Ditzy: I’m not sure even the author knows.

Y’all could up and leave now you’ve told me Twilight’s on the verge of killin’ herself, but you won’t go. You’ll stay because you still care about us. Now, no matter what you say or do, you won’t change my mind. Ah’ll let the others know the situation with Twilight in the mornin’. You’d best get some rest. Ya’ll look like you haven’t slept in days.” Applejack hugged the purple dragon and then gave him a light punch on the shoulder.

Doctor: (Spike whining) Don’t hit me! (whimpers)

“We had our conversation, and that was my beatin’. Wear it with pride.”

Ditzy: Because Celestia knows you deserve worse.

she then turned around and went back into her home, leaving Spike to return home.

As he approached the front door to the Library, the realisation that he’d just regained his friendship with Applejack and that it was more solid than ever, hit him.

Doctor: (Spike) Accursed friendship! Why must you taunt me so?!

“Shit!”

Doctor: (Spike) I know! I’ll burn down half of Sweet Apple Acres! That’ll fix this situation! Next Chapter: Episode 7 - Part 3 - Darkness of Love - Chapter 6 Estimated time remaining: 26 Hours, 3 Minutes