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Samurai Applejack

by Scootaloo-009

Chapter 12: Applejack and The Minotaur Part 2

Previous Chapter

Long ago, in a magical land, I Discord, lord of chaos, defeated the Elements of Harmony and their bearers. But, a foolish earth pony mare, wielding all six Elements in the form of a magic sword, continued to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I tore open a portal in time, and flung her into the future, where my chaos is law. Now the fool seeks to return to the past and undo the future that is Discord.

Samurai Applejack

Saga 5: Back to the Matrix

Chapter 13: Applejack and the Minotaur Part 2

Samurai Jack created by Genndy Tartakovsky

My Little Pony created by Hasbro

“Cider,” Applejack ordered. The griffon barkeep nodded and walked off.

Applejack took a seat at the bar and waited for him to return. She wasn’t planning on getting drunk, but she did love cider. Her mission had taken her through this remote donkey village. She hoped she wouldn’t be jumped by bounty hunters. It had been a good day and she wanted to keep it that way. The sobbing coming from the rear of the tavern was threatening to ruin it though.

“Here you are.” The barkeep had returned with a frothy mug.

Applejack grabbed the mug and took a swig. It wasn’t Sweet Apple Cider, but it was cider. “Thanks.” She sat there for a while, taking a sip every few seconds. The crying was beginning to get very grating. It was several degrees louder than the other patrons, but they seemed to be ignoring it. Finally she had had enough. She drank down the last of the cider and went over to see what was going on.

Even she was surprised by the amount of booze this creature had drank. The empty mugs formed a neat little mountain on the round corner table, making it hard to see who was crying behind them. She peeked around them to see a great orange beast slumped over the table. She couldn’t get a good look at it as its face was hidden by its arms, but she saw a familiar large, runed, sword leaning against the wall next to him.

“Uh... hello?” she said loudly, trying to be heard over his sobs.

The bovine face looked up at her and immediately ducked down below the table. That small glance was enough. It was The Minotaur! He came up again, but this time his face had been dried somewhat though his eyes were still red.

“Well if it isn’t Samurai Applejack,” he greeted with fake cheer. “How’ve yah been?”

“Still fightin’ Discord. How are-” Applejack was cut off by a fresh wave of sobs.

“It’s awful. Me wife’s been kidnapped!”

“Yer wife... Ah didn’t know yah were married,” Applejack said. She didn’t really know minotaurs had marriage.

“Aye. She’s the most beautiful creature tah ever grace thah world with ‘er presence.” The Minotaur gazed up, smiling. Then his tears returned. “But now she’s gone. She’ll be dead by the next full moon.”

“Full moon, that’s tomorrow!” Applejack exclaimed.

“Aye.”

“Well whah ain’t yah tryin’ tah save her?” Applejack asked calmly.

“She’s been taken tah the castle ah Theseus. It’s the home of army o’ demons. Ah could never do it alone and me clan is forbidden tah help.”

Applejack grabbed an empty chair and sat down. She scratched her chin as she thought. “That’s quite a pickle. So yer family can’t help?”

“The druids have ferbidden it,” The Minotaur replied.

“Well what about friends?”

The Minotaur perked up. “Yah know, they didn’t say nought about that! Yah’d be willin’ tah face almost certain doom at the hands of o’ hundred demons tah save me angel?” The Minotaur got up and grabbed Applejack, pulling her into a backbreaking hug.

“How could Ah refuse ah friend in need?” Applejack wheezed. Epona’s mission could deal with a delay. She hadn’t said it was urgent.

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The Minotaur and Applejack charged across the open land. She wasn’t exactly sure where they were going but The Minotaur seemed to know the way.

“Me wife’s so beautiful. She’s got these flowin’ locks like rivers ah gold. Her eyes twinkle like ah star,” The Minotaur said as he panted. “And her voice. It’s so beautiful Ah could just listen tah it fer the rest o’ me days. And did Ah mention her hair?”

“A bit,” Applejack replied.

They’d been traveling for about four hours so far and this was probably the twentieth time bringing up the subject, but she let him. It distracted him from crying again. She was beginning to get tired from all the running but she wasn’t about to stop for a break before he did.

The scenery changed as they went. The relatively flat but thick forest gave way to hills and fewer trees. Soon she could see mountains in the distance.

They crested yet another hill. “There,” The Minotaur declared. He pointed straight ahead to a small, square, stone castle. “There is the home of me clan.”

“Nice,” Applejack said.

The castle was unlike Canterlot Castle. This one was made solely to repel attacks without any attempt at aesthetics. It had high ramparts and a wide walkway surrounding a central roof. The corners did have square towers with flat roofs.

As they got near, Applejack saw the giant wooden door was wide open. The Minotaur slowed down to a walk and entered. Applejack nervously followed.

She had been curious when she first met The Minotaur. She’d only ever seen one other minotaur, a smooth talking and annoying motivational speaker. With this limited experience, she had little to draw on for what to expect a bunch of minotaurs to look like. She’s wondered if they were like ponies, mostly random colors, but once inside this notion vanished.

They numbered at about a hundred. They did seem to vary in color but not greatly. They ranged from red to yellow with every color in between. But she could still tell them all apart. They all wore similar patterned clothes to The Minotaur. Some had hats, others plain shirts with the plaid skirts. A lot had nose rings. She was actually disappointed. None seemed to be female, not that she knew what the differences would be.

“Hey yah blarney faced mooks, Ah’m back!” The Minotaur shouted.

They crowd turned and smiled, showing off rows of crooked, rotten teeth. They gathered round, saying things like “So yah decided tah suck it up ae?” and “Speak fer yerself.” Then all at once they noticed Applejack. A dozen swords were drawn all at once and pointed at her.

“And just who are yah?” demanded one minotaur.

“Ah’m Applejack. Pleased tah meetcha,” Applejack said. She pulled off her hat and bowed.

“What’s she doin’?” a minotaur whispered.

“Maybe she dropped somethin’,” suggested another.

“And what’s with the getup? Is she goin’ tah sleep?” asked a third.

The Minotaur slammed their blades into the floor with his hands. He shoved them aside and stood next to Applejack. “She’s with me. She’s promised tah help me rescue me wife!”

“What, this wee pony lass?” asked one minotaur. “She’s too wee tah prop up our wobbly table.”

The Minotaur got right in his face. “She and Ah survived the cursed swamp tahgether. She’s a good warrior and ah lot braver than you buffoons!”

A loud series of grunts started suddenly from beyond the crowd. The minotaurs seemed shocked and immediately parted for a single minotaur. It wore long robes that hid its body but it was clearly very scrawny. Its face was obscured by a bull skull. It must have been a massive wild bull because this minotaur was wearing its skull like a full face helmet. The only hint it was a minotaur at all was the horns sticking out of the skull where the original horns were.

He slowly moved towards Applejack. He waved his arms about and grunted. The minotaurs seemed to understand him and nodded.

“Who is that?” Applejack whispered. “What the hay is he saying?”

“Our clan druid. They knows all sorts of mystic stuff but they only speak in an old language,” The Minotaur whispered back.

The druid kept up his grunting. The Minotaur listened and nodded every other grunt but his expression seemed annoyed.

“He says yer weak but he don’t know yah like Ah know ye,” The Minotaur summarized when the Druid had stopped grunting.

“Okay?” Applejack said.

“Yer gonna have tah do a test of strength teh prove yer strong enough,” The Minotaur explained.

“What kind of test?”

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“A rock throwing contest!” The Minotaur declared. The crowd had moved outside. Applejack was in the middle of an open grassy area presided over by the druid. The Minotaur stood close by but out of the way of a pile of rocks. Rocks the size of Applejack's head or larger.

One of the larger minotaur specimens strode forward. He grabbed a rock with one hand and stood next to Applejack. He pulled his arm back and flung the rock hard. It landed with a dull thump about a dozen yards away.

Applejack looked at the short distance and gulped. It might as well been miles. Could she throw that far? If it was a pebble, sure. Horseshoe, probably. One of these boulders?

Applejack nervously went over to the pile and tried to pick one of the smaller ones. To her dismay she found they were all too heavy for one leg.

“Ho boy,” she groaned. She planted her hind legs apart and prepared for the impossible. Slowly and carefully, using the rockpile for support, she lifted herself onto two hooves. Her body burned with pain at the awkward pose. Sure she could rear up without discomfort but she now had to actually walk around on just two legs.

Applejack felt herself wobble back and forth as she tried to stay standing. A lot of the minotaurs snickered at her but she ignored them. Once she was sure she could stay upright she carefully grabbed on of the rocks and lifted it with two hooves, cupping it with them. The strain on her back multiplied as she was forced to actually lean back to keep balanced.

Finally when she was staying steady she slowly took one step. Than another. With agonizing slowness Applejack walked on two hooves back to where she had been standing. The minotaurs were laughing louder now.

“Shut it!” The Minotaur shouted at them. They quieted down but didn’t stop.

Now came the final hurdle. Somehow, while standing in this unnatural position, Applejack had to hurl this massive rock farther than she could possibly throw it on all fours. But she was determined now. This pain would be worth something.

She couldn’t exactly throw it with the way she was so she more or less popped it out of her fore legs. She brought them both up, lobbing the rock out of them. It soared through the air like a drunk, blind, pegasus before thudding into the ground about a yard away.

Applejack didn’t see it right away. She had immediately laid on the ground and rubbed her aching back. But she could hear how well she had done from the jeers.

“Hey, that was just a warmup,” The Minotaur shouted. He knelt down beside Applejack and whispered, “yah can do better, right? Me wife depends on it.”

“How the hay am Ah supposed tah throw a rock?” Applejack whispered back. “Epona didn’t make me tah walk on two legs!”

“Well the rock just has to go that far. Can’t yah do somethin’ else?”

Applejack finally opened her eyes and looked around. Her pathetic attempt now sat in the ground. She looked closely at it and remembered why she had chosen it. The rock had fairly flat sides and now created a smooth surface.

“Ah got it!” Applejack said. She got up and returned to the rock pile. This time she didn’t bother trying to stand on just two’s. Instead she rolled another flat rock off the pile. Using just one leg she pushed it over to the first one and slid it on top. She turned around and raised one rear leg up, judging its height in relation to the rocks.

She nodded in approval and returned for another rock. This one was more rounded but it didn’t matter. She rolled it over to the two rocks and carefully lifted it on top. All around the minotaurs were talking amongst themselves. They clearly didn’t understand what she was up to. Even The Minotaur was looking at her in confusion.

She ignored them and instead turned her back to the rocks. She lifted her rear leg again to make sure she was aiming right. Then she bucked the rock. Hard. Years of farm work paid off as the rock soared through the air and finally landed nearly twice as far away as her marker.

The minotaurs erupted into cheers.

“Ah knew ye could do it!” The Minotaur cheered. He easily hoisted Applejack up and draped her over his shoulder. “To the castle of Theseus!” he declared. He charged ahead into the mountains suddenly, leaving the castle and the cheering behind.

“Ah can walk,” Applejack said as she bounced against him.

“Yer helpin’ me so Ah’m gonna carry ye there!” The Minotaur replied.

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“There it is,” The Minotaur whispered.

The two of them were hunkered down behind a boulder. The Minotaur had charged into the mountains and they were now in a rocky gorge. Just ahead Applejack could see a castle of some sort. It was made of black stone that blended well with the rock face around it. It was perfectly square with tall walls. Out of the first level four black square towers rose into the sky. The tallest of which was easily four hundred feet. Right in front of them, only a few dozen yards away was an open gateway inside. The door was surprisingly small, just about minotaur height.

“No guards! Perfect!” The Minotaur said. He began to stand up but Applejack put a hoof on his shoulder and pulled him back down.

“It’s too easy,” she said. She grabbed a small pebble and tossed it at the entrance. Instantly two strange creatures jumped out of nowhere.

They were wearing armor that hid their exact features. The armor looked almost like a giant helmet covering their body. It was a single piece with two holes for the eyes. The holes were separated by a metal band that hung down the front of the helmet. Behind the band Applejack could see the helmet had an open area but she couldn’t see anything. It stopped just short of the bottom but again, it didn’t reveal anything about what the creature within looked like.

Two stubby legs stuck out of the bottom and halfway up two arms. They only visible feature, the eyes, were creepy black slits on a white background. Each guard had identical weapons: a spear in one hand and a large circular shield in the other.

The two guards looked at the pebble, then they looked around. They even moved creepily. They were clearly inflexible in the armor so to look around they had to move almost their entire body. Thankfully the boulder hid Applejack and the Minotaur from their prying eyes.

“Theseus’s demon guards,” The Minotaur hissed. “Think we can take ‘em?”

“Probably but who knows how many there are. We should probably find yer wife first, then fight our way out,” Applejack replied. She carefully peeked over the side of the rock. She sighed with relief when she saw they had gone back to where they had come from. “Hmmm... We need another way inside.”

“How about that?” The Minotaur said. He pointed up the sides of the valley. Applejack followed his arm and saw a small cliff overhanging one of the four towers. It was quite far over it but nothing Applejack felt nervous about.

They silently crept back down the path until they were out of sight of the castle.

“Ah’m not sure how we’re gonna get up there,” Applejack said, motioning a hoof towards the steep cliffs.

“That may be hard fer you but not fer me,” The Minotaur replied. Once again he picked her up and tossed her on his back. He then easily began climbing the wall. His hands found plenty of ledges and cracks to grab onto. Applejack couldn’t help feeling a bit envious. As great as hooves were, hands did have clear advantages in times like this.

They were halfway up when he slipped. His hooves dangled below but his massive arms held firm. The Minotaur grunted as he kept pulling them upwards towards the ledge. With a final heave he pulled them onto the thin area. If he was tired he didn’t show it. It was too narrow for him to put Applejack down so she stayed on her perch while he slowly shuffled along.

With agonizing slowness, the Castle of Theseus came back into view. However it was now below them and they could get a better view. The top was completely enclosed but there were ramparts along the edges. They couldn’t see any guards but they seemed to be able to come out of nowhere so they couldn’t trust the lack of visible guards.

Finally they made it to the small jutting rock. Below the tower sat, just fifty feet below. The Minotaur put Applejack down and they both peered over the edge. From their vantage point they could now see the towers stood completely free of each other.

“Ah can make the fall but we’ll make a lot a noise,” The Minotaur said.

“Yeah,” Applejack agreed.

Suddenly an idea came to her. She rummaged around in her robe and pulled out a long length of rope. She’d nearly forgotten about it but now it would serve a final use. She carefully secured the rope to the rock face and gave it several hard tugs. She was confident it would support her weight but she was worried about The Minotaur. She tossed the other end over the side and tried to eyeball how close it would get them.

“We got a good ten foot drop but thats a lot better,” she said. “Ah’ll go first.”

The Minotaur nodded. Applejack carefully looped the rope around herself and lowered herself over the edge. She was far enough from the cliff face that she didn’t have to push off it. Slowly and carefully she lowered herself down, foot by foot, letting the rope slide through her hooves and around her torso. She went slowly to avoid a friction burn. The Minotaur watched from above, gnawing at his fingers.

Then Applejack reached the end of the rope. It was still wrapped around her so she held on extra tightly as she unwound it. She held on with both hooves as a last bit of support. She was very close now so she let go and hit the stone tower with a soft clack. She suddenly cursed her horseshoes and drew her sword.

Applejack looked every direction for possible attackers but none came. She relaxed a bit but kept her sword drawn. Instead she began looking for a way down from the tower. She heard a very quiet click behind her and quickly whirled around. It was only the Minotaur. He was so tall he was able to hold the end of the rope and touch the tower at the same time. He made a jerking motion and the rope fell down.

“Don’t want tah leave that behind, they might find it,” he said, handing it to her. She had been expecting she would have to leave it behind, so she gratefully tucked it away. “How are we gonna find me wife in this whole place?” he wondered out loud.

“If Ah had tah guess, she’s probably in the tallest tower,” Applejack said.

“Why would she be there?”

“Well one ah mah friends was always reading these cheesy books and whenever the heroine had to save some stallion in distress, he was always at the top of some tower,” Applejack explained.

“Ye have some weird friends,” The Minotaur said.

“Yer one tah talk,” Applejack retorted.

“Aye. But just cause some book says so don’t make it true.”

“It’s still a good place tah start.”

“Aye.”

Applejack had finally located a trapdoor. She pulled it open and peered inside. She could see a staircase descending downwards before taking a sharp turn at the corner of the tower. It was well lit with a flickering light but she couldn’t see any light source. Anyway, Applejack quietly began walking down the steps.

“Ah’m comin’ mah sweet tulip,” The Minotaur said to the tallest tower before following behind. He closed the door behind them and drew his sword.

Quietly the two walked down the stairs. As they rounded the first bend, Applejack saw the light was coming from a small blue flame burning from a semicircular torch on the wall. The inside of the tower was identical for several levels. It was just a square staircase along the outside, though every few turns there was a small landing with a closed door that they passed. None of them were locked so they ignored them.

Finally the narrow staircase gave way to a level corridor that stretched off into two directions. Applejack and The Minotaur stopped at the bottom and carefully looked out. There didn’t appear to be any guards nearby so they entered the hallway and looked around. Both directions went off at a right angle and curved quite a distance away. They seemed to run along all four sides of the building. It wasn’t enclosed though. It was open to some unseen room in the middle. There was also a staircase leading down in the other direction.

“Great, now which way? Ah got all confused comin’ down,” Applejack whispered.

“It’s that way,” The Minotaur said, pointing to the left. He slowly began walking down the hallway. Applejack followed close behind. When they reached the opening they both peeked over the side.

The middle of the castle was completely empty. It was a single large room that extended all the way up to where they were with hallways on every level. At the bottom they could see what seemed like hundreds of the guards sitting around these long wooden tables. In the center was a giant pot filled with boiling water. One guard was stirring it with a wooden stick several times larger than it was.

“Oh, they’re gonna turn me lass intah stew,” The Minotaur cried loudly.

“Shh!” Applejack hissed, but he continued to whimper. She just rolled her eyes and began dragging him along.

“How could they do such a thing to such a perfect angel?” he groaned.

With agonizing slowness Applejack dragged him to the correct staircase. Her wondering about how she would drag him up them was interrupted when she heard footsteps.

“Somepony’s coming!” she hissed. “Come on!”

That seemed to do it. The Minotaur reacted and instantly bounded up the stairs with Applejack right behind. They hid around the corner and waited with bated breath. The footsteps got louder and louder. Finally they could see the guard stand right in front of the steps.

They waited, weapons ready, for it to make a move. They could easily take one solitary guard but if they set off an alert there was no way they could handle them all. They barely breathed as the guard stood there, looking around. Finally, finally, it marched off and they were safe.

They didn’t want to tempt fate so they quickly rushed up the stairs. This tower was considerably taller than the other one and the climb took several minutes. This one was identical to the other one except for one detail. When they reached the final door, they found it barred from the outside.

“Love muffin!” The Minotaur cheered. Instead of simply unbarring the door, in his hubris he pulled at the wooden blank keeping the door shut and simply broke it. He wrenched the door open, revealing the prison within. It was a room made from the same stone as everything else. The only thing in it was another minotaur.

Applejack had barely paid attention to The Minotaur’s ramblings. He’d mostly repeated himself and she just ignored it. But from what she did remember, he seemed to be describing the opposite of the minotaur they now faced. Her “golden locks” were in reality the color of moldy hay. She wasn’t the least bit dainty. If anything she was rougher than The Minotaur.

This new minotaur was enormous. She was barely taller than she was wide. Her face seemed locked in a permanent scowl of disgust, like she was constantly smelling rotten food. Applejack was now certain that minotaurs had a completely different concept of beauty. Applejack had suspected that since minotaurs were basically cows on two legs that females would have an udder, but that didn’t seem to be the case. She did find it strange that her mammaries were on the top of her torso of all places. The only thing Applejack could say was nice about her, was the fact that unlike The Minotaur, she was wearing a top.

“Wife!” The Minotaur said. He clasped his hands together and smiled.

“What the tartarus are ye doin’ here!” The Wife shouted.

“Love, Ah’ve come tah rescue yah,” The Minotaur replied.

“Then were have yah been fer the past month?”

“Month?” Applejack said, surprised.

“The druids said-” The Minotaur began but his wife cut him off.

“Why would yah listen tah an idiot with a cow skull on his head? He’s a loon!” The Wife shouted. “Ah’ve been stuck up here by me lonesome while you were out, goofing off and cavorting about. Ah was glad when today came because that meant Ah wouldn’t have tah deal with such an idiot husband!”

Applejack shrank back a bit and looked over at the Minotaur. Despite the barrage of insults he gazed back with a look that reminded Applejack of a younger Spike looking at Rarity.

“And just who is this? Yah thought yah’d go and find a new wife, did ye?” The Wife shouted, finally noticing Applejack.

“Hey, Ah’m just here tah save yah,” Applejack said.

“Wife it ain’t what it looks like,” The Minotaur said. “She heard yah were trapped and offered tah help.”

“Really? Well good, maybe with two of yah halfwits yah might have a brain between yah.”

“Can we just get goin?” Applejack groaned.

“Uh... right,” The Minotaur agreed. “We should get out of here.”

Applejack quickly walked towards the door.

“Ah stubbed me toe. It hurts too much tah walk,” The Wife said.

“Don’t worry, we’ll carry yeh,” The Minotaur said.

Applejack rolled her eyes but complied. The Minotaur lifted up his wife’s legs. She tipped back onto Applejack’s back. Her knees nearly buckled under the weight, but she managed to stay standing.

“Let’s go,” the Minotaur declared. Slowly they began moving out the door. Applejack was trying to support his wife with her back but her head was in the way, She had to awkwardly crane it to the side so she could see where they were going. She had hoped his wife would stay quiet. That hope died after only a few seconds.

“Oye, be careful. Don’t yah dare drop me. Ah feel like this wee pony’s gonna drop meh,” The Wife shouted.

After three floors of this, they switched positions. If she hadn’t been so insufferable, Applejack wouldn’t have agreed to being ridden like... like... a beast of burden. Unfortunately it did little to help.

The Wife kept up the barrage of insults and complaints all the way down the stairs. Even as they went down towards the bottom floor she didn’t run out of things to say.

“And another thing. What’s with the get up? Yeh plannin’ tah go tah bed?” The Wife shouted.

Applejack breathed a sigh of relief. They were on a landing. Applejack looked to the sides and saw no more stairs leading down. They were finally at the bottom of the tower. Then she looked up.

Of course they heard she mentally groaned. At sea of endless guards were crammed into the hallway, staring at them, spears at the ready.

“Hayseed,” Applejack swore.

“Time tah do what we do best!” The Minotaur declared. They tossed his wife off and drew their blades. Together the two charged into the mass of guards.

They weren’t golem but they were clearly as stupid. They were actually weaker because they only had two stubby arms and one weapon. But they were more numerous than the golems had been and Applejack only had one fighter at her side this time. She wondered if she would get to see what they looked like now, but when she sliced through the first one a black smoke erupted from where the body should have been. Only the helmet pieces remained.

They went down very easily. It only took one blow in most cases to dispel them. They tried to block her sword with their shields but the Sword of Harmony cut through the shield as easily as it did their armor. They tried to fight back but their stubby arms hindered their efforts. Applejack’s comparatively small stature gave her a huge advantage in dodging them.

Applejack swung her sword like she was conducting an orchestra. The sound of metal on metal was her brass section. Their wordless shouts was her percussion. The constant clattering of metal on the stone floor was her bass line. Her occasional bucking added a pleasant irregularity to the beat. And to her it was a beautiful symphony.

Nearby The Minotaur was holding his own. His sword was larger and had greater reach but they found it easier to counter one of the same height. He reached into a pocket on the front of his kilt and pulled out a metal egg. He bit something on it then threw it into the crowd. A few seconds later there was an explosion that sent guards flying. Even the ones knocked about turned into smoke.

Despite her fantastic start, Applejack was beginning to tire. As she got tired, she made mistakes. More and more often spears would catch her sides or she’d just barely dodge a lethal blow. They were just nicks and scrapes but they stung nonetheless. Suddenly one caught her from the side with a hard shield bash. It knocked the wind from her and propelled her through the air and into The Minotaur.

“Got... any more... of them eggs?” Applejack panted.

“Grenades? Nah... Ah used em... Ah used em all up,” The Minotaur replied. His sword was still raised but just barely.

The guards surrounded them. They closed in, spears pointed at the two.

“Well we had a good run,” Applejack said.

“Aye,” The Minotaur said. “At least we’ll have a warrior’s end.”

Suddenly the ring of identical guards parted slightly. Out of the sea of identical faces, a unique one emerged. Its helmet had a massive red plume and it was slightly taller. When it had joined the circle, it lowered its own spear and spoke. “Kill them, then throw the fat one in the pot.”

“Oh no,” The Minotaur said, his face became one of absolute fear.

“What?” Applejack asked.

“He shouldn’t a said that.”

Applejack thought more grenades were going off suddenly. Guards were flying everywhere as something charged through them. The Minotaur’s Wife forced her way into the circle.

“What did yah say bout me?!” She demanded.

The one guard looked surprised. “Grab the fat one!”

Another explosion seemed to go off. The Minotaur’s Wife jumped into the air, wailing like a banshee. She grabbed the one guard, and lifted him over her head. “Ah’m not fat, Ah’m stout!” she then slammed him into the ground with a ridiculous amount of force. His armor was nearly rendered flat by the impact. And she was only getting started. She gave a wild shriek and charged the remaining guards.

Applejack and The Minotaur watched his wife tear through the enemy ranks. She tore them in two, she slammed them into the ground and each other. They tried to keep her at bay with their spears but she just yanked them from their hands like a mother would to a child, then returned the spears right through their armor.

"Wow," Applejack said, dumbstruck.

"Aye. That's me wife."

She bit into the metal and ripped it with her jaws. She grabbed one and used it as a club to dismiss its comrades. She elbowed one and stole its shield. She then threw the shield like a frisbee through several more guards. Within minutes the hallway was littered with fragments of helmet and nothing else.

The Minotaur’s wife stood in the middle of the metal carnage, panting slightly.

“Now do yah see wah Ah love her?” The Minotaur asked, a dreamy look on his face.

“Uh... sure?” Applejack said.

“Well that’s done,” The Wife said, dusting off her hands.

“That was grand, me precious buttercup,” The Minotaur said. He walked over and hugged her. “Me life would be nothin’ but darkness without yeh.”

“Yer sweet talkin’ me?” The Wife said grumpily.

“Aye.”

She hugged him back. “Don’t ever stop.” Her demeanor had instantly changed and her voice was almost soft.

They began kissing, so Applejack just hung back and smiled a bit. She sheathed her sword and waited.

“Yer a sweet man tah come and rescue me,” The Wife said.

“Aye, and Ah couldn’t have done it without me friend. Lass, come meet me wife. Wife, this is me friend,” The Minotaur said.

“Charmed,” Applejack said, removing her hat and bowing a bit.

The Wife did a bit of a curtsey. “A pleasure.”

“Yer quite the fighter,” Applejack said. “Ah-”

“Oh enough, give me a hug,” The Wife said, bringing Applejack into a backbreaking embrace. “Yer a good lass. A bit tiny but Ah know just what tah cook tah fix that.”

“Perhaps we should get outside before we celebrate,” Applejack grunted. She couldn’t breathe and her vision was starting to get blurry.

“Aye, let’s go home,” The Wife said as she dropped Applejack.

Applejack led the way while the Minotaur and his Wife followed, hand in hand. The bottom floor was much the same as the top floor had been, square, though with several large openings to the now abandoned main room. Finally they had reached the door to the outside. Applejack looked at it, then at the two minotaurs behind her.

“Wait, we can’t go out this way,” she said.

“Whah not?” The Minotaur asked.

“The door’s too small. Yer wife is too big.”

“What did you say?!” The Wife snapped.

“Run!” The Minotaur shouted.

Applejack took his advice and galloped away as quickly as she could with his wife in hot pursuit, shrieking.

“Ah meant tall! Tall!” Applejack tried to shout over her.

“Don’t kill her, she’s a friend!” The Minotaur shouted futilely, as he ran after them.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

If you like this story, you should check out some of my other works:

My tumblr, an alternate universe mixing MLP and Cyborg 009.

Forever a Changeling, my latest story starring Rainbow Dash as a changeling.

My other tumblr, a sequel of sorts to Forever a Changeling’s pony ending.

The Seven Tribes, a rather long fanfic that, like many stories, tries to explain the past.
Night of the Werepony, what I consider to be my worst story, but it’s surprisingly popular. It’s just one chapter long.

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Samurai Applejack

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