“So are you gonna stand there, interrupting my adult fun time, get the bloody fuck outta here, or join us? ‘Cause I’m starting to get a mixed vibe here Sparkles. You’re not one of those sit and watch types are you?” I asked, tired of her shit already. I’d already been denied release once at the hands, or rather hooves, of Twilight Sparkle and I was seriously not trying to go for two. God forbid the woman mess things up a third time.

“Max!” Celestia exclaimed, her look of shock at my blase demeanor was priceless, though Twilight's’ face was worth even more, somehow combining horror, intrigue, disgust, and surprise all in one expression.

“H-h-how? W-what? Princess?” Twilight stuttered, her bright red face visible even in the faint glow of the candles Celly had previously lit. She was caught somewhere between staring at my wedding tackle and her teacher.

“We’ll talk about this later, Twilight. For now, let’s just get some rest. Tonight’s going to be hard to explain to Luna.” Celestia muttered

“Can I stay?” I hadn’t finished yet and I’d really wanted to.

One look from Celestia told me no. Before I could even make an argument, I was teleported along with my clothes back to my room where i could sulk in silence, damning Twilight’s untimely arrival. Of course she just had to burst in before the main event. I swear, the girl’s got cock blocking in her blood. Cursing Twilight, her parents, her grandparents, and her ancestors, I finally fell asleep.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I awoke in a sour mood, the previous night's events running rampant through my head, causing a certain part of my anatomy to ache with regret. I stiffly rose to complete my morning routine deciding on a charcoal gray hooded wind jacket Rarity had designed for me over an ash grey V-neck with more denim to complete my samey monochromatic color scheme. It also suited my mood this oh-so-fine morning as I trudged onward to breakfast, and what was most likely going to be the most awkward conversation I’d had on this God-forsaken planet. Whatever was to come at least it was going to be over soon.

I joined Celestia, Twilight, and Luna for breakfast and took my usual spot between the two Princesses which just so happened to be directly across from a pony that could barely look me in the eye without blushing and fidgeting like a giddy schoolgirl. Meanwhile, Luna was glaring daggers at me again and Celestia was rubbing her temples like she could ease away her consciousness by applying more pressure. Me, being the suave gentleman I am, decided to tear through that awkward silence with gusto!

“Alright, I’m not having this. Celestia and I are adults. She moreso than I, but still, both adults. What we do as adults is our business and I’m sorry to those of us who walked in on our business, but in fairness you should’ve knocked. Yes Twilight, I’m looking at you. It’s just manners, dear.”

“Dost thou expect us to sit idly by as thou layeth our sister in our own home?” Luna hissed. “Thine charm shall only get thee so far, heathen, and we-”

“Luna, Your Majesty, I’m not trying bed and bolt your sister. We have a connection, we’re exploring where it goes. I’m not trying to steal her from you, and honestly you should have more faith in Celestia; she’s a grown woman who can make her own mistakes.” I interrupted.

“Are you saying last night was a mistake?” Celestia jibed, a small smile turning the corner of her mouth.

“Of course not! Hell, I’d do it all over again, Twilight busting the door down and all! Even if you included this maladroit little talk we’re having, there’s precious little I wouldn’t trade for another night like last night.” I confessed. Being with Celestia had been a magical night for me, even if we had been stopped short. Maybe it was just Celly’s natural charm, or maybe it was budding love. Either way, the spark I felt when we kissed was like no other.

Ostensibly, it seemed that Luna sensed my veritability as she visibly calmed. Twilight was still blushing up a storm and her even her mentor was a little rosy around the cheeks. Matters seemed to be calmed for the time being, but I knew I would have to talk to Luna sometime soon before things got out of hand. From there, the Princesses talked about business while I ate breakfast. Twilight poked and pecked at her food, moving it around her plate more than actually eating anything. Luna, Celly, and I shared a look between us.

“So, Twilight. Between last night’s events and ‘standard’ breakfast conversation, you still haven’t told us the reason you’ve come to Canterlot in the first place. What’s going on?” Celestia asked kindly.

Twilight jumped and stuttered for a few moments, surprised at the sudden attention she’d been avoiding for the past twenty or so minutes. “W-well, I came to check on Max, everypony is pretty worried about you.” She said shifting her eyes to me. “Rarity, Rainbow, Spike, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack-”

“Applecunt can fuck off, eat shit and die slowly as far as I’m concerned, love.” I replied peacefully, not skipping a beat as I munched on breakfast.

Silence met my harsh words. I looked up to see a raised brow from Luna, dismay from Twilight and Celestia slowly shaking her head. “But she’s sincerely sorry, Max! She never meant to hurt you that badly, she’s been crying for days now!” Twilight protested.

“I’m not giving ground on this, Twilight. If we were in England, I would’ve died from those wounds, if not become a cripple for life. I want nothing to do with her, and if asking for my forgiveness on her behalf is the reason why you’re here, then you’ve wasted your time.”

“But this isn’t England! Applejack really does regret everything Max, what can I do to prove that to you?”

“Oh, don’t think for an iota of a moment that I don’t believe you Twilight. I do, honestly. But considering the pain she put me through and the debts I now owe that I could never repay, you should be happy that I haven’t gone back to Ponyville already and sliced her up like a Christmas turkey.”

Twilight sat in stunned silence, staring at me like I’d grown a second head. I don’t believe she’d ever heard of something so brutal in her twenty or so years of living, at least not from someone who meant every word. I continued my meal and looked between Celestia and Luna once more. Celly looked quite disappointed, though I have a feeling she suspected I would say something along those lines while Luna looked upon me with what seemed to be infinitesimal amount of respect.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” I inquired innocently.

“Max…” Celestia began.

“We support him, sister. A stallion with no spine is not worthy of our sister. Retribution is in order in any case, he has suffered at the hands of Applejack and she should bear the responsibility of her actions. Mere apologies and ‘feeling bad’,” Luna threw some air quotes, “is not sufficient compensation for the injuries she inflicted upon him.”

“Sister, that was a thousand years ago, times have changed! We forgive those who are sincere now, we hold no grudges, bear no bad blood for the sake of feuding!” Celestia retorted

“Should somepony inflict such damages upon our person, would thou stand idly by if they were to apologize for the pain they have caused? Or wouldst thou demand indemnification in turn for our blood spilt?” Luna challenged.

“I would forgive them if they truly meant it, even if I had to swallow my own rage and hubris to do so.”

“Then we disagree on this matter, dear sister,” Luna huffed, “but knoweth thou this: should somepony touch so much as a hair on thine pretty head, they would face our vindication, no matter how many times they apologize.”

Celestia shook her head and frowned. She obviously didn’t want either myself or Luna to seek vengeance on anyone’s behalf, regardless of the trespass. With that said, we wrapped up breakfast and I caught Luna before she left asking for a word at a later date earning a confused look from Celestia. Once Twilight meandered out of the breakfast room following Luna, Celly and I looked at each other.

“Don’t go after Applejack, Max.” She asked, exasperated.

“Never said I would, love. I’ll hate her from across the street, but that’s about as far as I’m willing to compromise. I’m no Pony; my forgiveness isn’t earned so easily.”

“I know that, but I can’t help but shake the feeling that you’re lying to me Max.” Damn straight. Not the best way to start a relationship, but I digress.

“Look, I won’t touch the twat. I want nothing to do with her. If she really feels as bad as Twilight says, then that’s punishment enough for now.”

“If that’s enough, then why don’t you forgive her, Max? It would go a long way in repairing your friendship, and while I understand why you’re spiting her, can’t you see that all you’re doing is hurting yourself in the long run?”

“Or I’m protecting myself from the dangerous rage beast that damn near killed me, Sunbutt!”

“...Are you calling me fat?”

“No, I’m saying you have two sun tattoos on each ass cheek. Sunbutt, it’s my new pet name for you. Also, didn't you just completely gloss over what I just said?”

“First of all, I’m not fond of it. Second of all, are you saying you want more than just… Never mind, the important thing is that Applejack wasn’t trying to hurt you that badly Max, you-”

“Did minor damage to her friend so she retaliated. She meant to hurt me, Celestia, whether you want to face that fact or not, Applejack should be held responsible for her actions. If I didn't already know you’d protect her, I’d press charges. And yes. I like you, I’d like to see where it goes if you’re willing.”

“...We can give it a shot depending on how you handle this. Don’t forget, Rainbow Dash could also press charges against you, Max. Regardless of her intent, you struck first.”

“It was in self defense! Seriously, we’re not even technically together and we’re arguing this much over something that nearly cost me my life like it’s even something that can be debated. If Rainbow hadn’t stepped in and flown me to the nearest hospital, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now!” I retorted, vexed beyond my wit's end. Of course I was still planning on hamstringing Applejack once I got within dagger distance, but I had a rather good purpose for doing so.

“It’s because you feel so strongly about this that I want you to stay in Canterlot for a while longer, Max. Look at the silver lining, it’ll give us an opportunity to try to understand each other better, and we can sort out what exactly it is we have.” Celestia reasoned.

I nodded, feeling drained from getting nowhere in our conversation only to come to a half-assed compromise. I closed the distance between us and took her hands, looking into Celestia’s eyes, my own frustration mirrored in those morganite gems.

“Why do things have to get so complicated before they even get started?” I inquired softly

“I’m a Princess and you’re a one of a kind being in this world; of course life is complicated. Though if it makes you feel any better, you have my trust. Trust as in I trust you not to buck things up completely with my little ponies, and I trust you not to trod upon my heart.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Sunbutt, I truly do appreciate it. You have my trust as well, just be careful not to drop it or poke it; it's not seen much use in the past few years.” I leaned in and kissed her, savoring the moment, feeling the electricity return throughout my body.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

After leaving Celestia to do her Royal Duties, I asked some of the castle staff to direct me to Luna’s chambers. After a few shrug offs and a few more terrified looks, I ultimately made my way there about an hour later. I hadn’t been allowed to explore all areas of the castle, and Luna’s wing had been one of those areas. I had to narrow it down on my own with some help from the guards, and once I explained that I was courting Celestia and wished to ask her sister’s permission, I was expediently shown the correct hall, though I never got a reply that wasn’t accompanied by a scoff. As I knocked upon her heavy blackwood door, a sense of foreboding overtook me. As I try to be a brave man, turning back was not an option. I was about to knock again when I heard a sleepy Luna permit my entrance.

“What doth thou want, servant? Thou knowest it is time for our rest.” Luna called from across her dark room. All I could see within it was the sliver lit by the light of the hall, and what little I could see was mostly navy blue or black Victorian era-esque furnishings

“I’m no servant, Luna. Though I can come back later.” I responded.

“Max? For what reason doth thou disturb our slumber?” Luna asked peevishly

“I’ve come to ask your permission to court Celestia. Yes, I know we’ve already got a thing going, but your approval would mean plenty to me. That, and I already asked for a word earlier if you don’t recall.”

“Shut thine mouth and return upon nightfall. Tis time for our beauty rest, I have no patience for such matters now.” She called back.

With that I made my way back to the castle gardens to grab Lupa so I could spend a little time with her. We hadn't really spent much time together since Ponyville and yesterday when I got thrown out of the castle temporarily. I'd really taken to her as a kindred spirit; fiercely loyal to those she deemed worthy and ready to defend them to the end. I came to think of her as a sister that couldn't speak but could understand, one who wouldn't judge me no matter how stupid a mistake I made. Such is the relationship between wolf and man since days long past. Companions ‘til the bitter end.

I strolled around the castle grounds with Lupa by my side, talking to her about the events that had passed since we'd spoken yesterday. Of course she listened and even occasionally barked a response every once in awhile when I mentioned a poor joke I'd made. With so much going on within the timespan of just a couple short weeks, it felt good to take the burden from my shoulders and relax. Which reminded me that I needed to introduce Lupa to Celestia some time. Maybe I’d introduce her sooner rather than later…

Filling out the copious stacks of paperwork required to get an audience in Day Court was ridiculous, and it was even moreso when the Administrator learned that I planned on bringing what was effectively a dire wolf into court with me as a witness. It took hours to fulfill all the necessary forms, but by the time I’d completed them, it was sunset and most of the ponies in line had forsaken their turn to return for tomorrow, thus I was granted a spot near the front of the line, waiting only fifteen more minutes for an audience with Celestia. Once it was my turn, Lupa and I were given a wide berth as we approached. Celestia’s eyes lit up and a smile graced her lovely features once we made eye contact.

“Hullo there, love. I’ve brought someone to meet you” I called from across the dais

“I’ve already met Lupa, but thank you for breaking the monotony of Day Court, Max. I’m sure it was plenty of trouble to get in here, let alone with her in tow.”

“I don’t see how anyone deals with the paperwork, the forms just for me were asinine. You wouldn’t believe the stack of forms it took to get her in here too.”

“I assure you, dear, I understand all too well. Now, as much as I’d love to keep you around until day court ends…”

“But I have a grievance! Like, why do you already know Lupa’s name? And can we put a lock on your bedroom door?” I heard a few chuckles from court officials while Celestia herself blushed.

“There already is a lock on that door, it just doesn’t work on Twilight for some odd reason. I happened to meet Lupa the first day you two came here while you were neglecting your responsibilities as her master. Any more questions, dear?”

“Just one more and I’ll be finished, I promise.”

“And that question is?”

“Roses or Lilies?”

“Roses, you should’ve known that already, I’m too classy for lilies.”

“If you have to say it, I don’t think it's true, love.”

“Hush, now. If you embarrass me in court again, I’ll make you sit through a day of it with me.”

“Sounds like a date. How about tomorrow, Sugar Dumpling?” The chuckles from before turned into barely contained laughter and my own smile widened.

“Let’s make that two days then. Keep it up and it’ll be three!” Celestia mock threatened

“All the more time to spend with you, love. Or Should I say, Your Highness?”

Celestia rolled her eyes and bid me farewell. I blew her a kiss and went to the Dining Hall to wait for dinner since I had little else to do. While I was waiting, I bounced a few more jokes off of Lupa, earning barks for funny jokes and growls for terrible ones.

How a wolf understands human humor baffles me, but one should never look a gift wolf in the mouth.

I only waited a few more minutes before Celestia and Luna joined me, Twilight having returned to Ponyville earlier in the day. Between the three of us, we talked about what had gone on in Day Court and I sat back and allowed the two sisters to ignore me for while. I grinned to myself as I stroked Lupa’s head, soaking in the newfound camaraderie I felt with both of them. I was somewhat worried about ruining the good vibes I had with Luna at the moment by way of royally ballsing up the talk I was going have with her. I just needed to remind myself that if she propositioned me, I would have to get Sunbutt’s permission (or participation) beforehand. Not that I would ever take her up on the offer should it ever be made, the woman had been awfully hostile when we first met. First impressions matter. That, and I highly doubted she was interested. It was mostly just something I thought for a quick calming chuckle.

Dinner passed without event, and I got a goodnight kiss from Celestia while Luna made a sour face. We’d remained seated while Celly rose and left.

“So, thou desire our sister’s hand in marriage, yes?” Luna inquired neutrally.

“Well I wouldn’t say that just yet, more like I want to date her and get to know her better. Celestia seems like a better woman than most I’ve ever known, but caution makes the heart beat longer just as absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I replied.

“For what reason would one court another if not for the sake of marriage? It makes little sense to us.”

“Marriage is the end goal, love, not the top priority. Finding out how you work together is an important part of making a relationship fulfil its full potential.”

“...We suppose your answer is sufficient, if not somewhat convoluted. So how doth thou believe thine relationship is going with our sister?”

“I believe it’s going well so far, but it’s too early to tell quite yet. I like Celestia; she’s a kind, loving, warm, friendly soul with a genuine heart. Her playful nature certainly doesn’t hurt when it comes to keeping things interesting.”

“Oh, thou hath not seen the worst of our sister quite yet, her playful nature has lead to years of tomfoolery between us, both within and without the Court.”

“I believe that to the ‘T’, she seems like the pranking type to me, to be honest with you. Care to elaborate on some of her objectively worse moments?”

“Perhaps another time. We shall see how this talk goes. We are going to have to acclimate to the honesty of a thief. Thou seem genuine most times, but others thou seem to mean little of what ye say.”

“It’s because my sarcasm runs deep, love. Once you can tell the difference and stop taking me seriously all the time, I think you’ll find that I grow on you. Now, how about those stories of Celly?”

“Celly?” Luna asked incredulously “Such abbreviations are meant for those far closer to her than thee!”

I sighed. “In modern times it’s pretty common to abbreviate names, like how Celestia and I call Twilight ‘Twilight’ instead of Twilight Sparkle. It’s a matter of convenience, not familiarity. Well, in some cases it’s both, but mostly convenience.”

“These changing times take their toll on an old soul, Maximilian. We find it difficult at times to adjust to some of the finer nuances of this era.” Not even close. Max's name was Maxwell.

“Max is short for Maximus, Princess, my parents were fans of an old, dead language. And of course trying to adjust takes time, you’ve missed about a thousand years of slang and societal changes. Unfortunately it's not going to be a quick process or a terribly easy one, but I’m sure you of all people will manage with no small amount of grace.”

“Flattery will get thee nowhere with us, Maximus. Perhaps we should speak of thine past rather than our present?”

I sighed again. “Of course. There really isn’t much to talk about Princess. Went to school until I was a little older than sixteen, dropped out to start nicking whatever would sell well to keep my stomach full, bounced around from place to place until I found a hidey hole I could call my own, and made shady acquaintances that could’ve gotten me offed just as well as save my hide. Granted, my life’s been interesting, but I would’ve much prefered safe and boring.”

Luna chewed on that tidbit of information for awhile. “So thou openly admits to being a delinquent youth, yet thee still think thyself worthy of our sister’s hand? A Princess of the most powerful country on Equus marrying a guttersnipe pauper? Thou hath lofty ambitions, Maximus.”

“You know, normally I‘d be giving you an earful for that little jab, but I just got a kiss from the prettiest woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing, so I’ll let it slide. Oh wait,” I flashed her my index and middle finger with the back of my hand facing her. “never mind.”

Luna’s eyebrow raised. “Is that supposed to mean something?”

I lowered one finger.

She got the point.

“Is there anything else you’d like to know? Princess?”

“...Thou truly hath no respect for authority. Doth thou not have royalty where ye come from?”

“Oh, we have a queen, but she has little power these days. I guess people just didn’t trust one person to run the country. Before you take offense, no she isn’t some immortal or long lived Monarch, just another person with a little more power than most, so she can’t really be compared to yourself or Celestia.”

“What happened in your land to cause your queen’s position to fall into such disarray?”

“The people of my country just didn’t think one person could do the job. Which is why I’m rather surprised that you and Celestia do so much work when you could easily appoint someone to do it for you.”

“Such is not the place of a ruler to task another with these vital matters. Tis the place of a ruler to directly oversee as much of the daily troubles of the land as they can. The burden of a Princess is not a light one indeed.”

“You’re the one who makes the rules, Princess. If you don’t feel like handling that crap for much longer, you could always give the bureaucracy something to do besides make lives difficult for the sake of being obtuse. Honestly, why do I have to fill out duplicate copies just to see a princess? If you’re not terribly busy with your nightly duties, I could help you streamline that crap. I’m told I’m a pretty pragmatic fellow.”

“...We will take your advice into consideration. We do see the benefits of making the process more efficient-”

“And considerably less tedious.”

Luna cut me a sharp glare for interrupting her. “But it will not be a simple process. We doubt those without extenuating knowledge of how to operate within the bureaucracy will understand how to change it without rendering the fragile structure that it is completely void.”

“Or having an outsider's perspective could prove to be more fruitful than you might think. People who’ve been operating under the system for years are going to attuned to the way it works as is; they’re not going to look at it with the same eyes that I will. If anything, it’ll make me feel better about staying here rent free.”

“Oh? And how is that exactly? By my understanding thou art here under pretenses of Celestia’s friend come lover. There are few who would say that thou hast no justifiable reason for being here, as long as thou doth not plan upon making this a permanent stay before thee are wed, it was not uncommon for similar circumstances amongst the nobility a thousand years ago. Though…”

“I’m not a noble and I doubt I’ll ever be one of those stuck up, vapid cock snots. No, I want to repay the kindness shown to me by yourself and Celly, even if it doesn’t necessarily help you guys directly. Doing something for your people should count for something, I think, though I can’t really say what you’d consider a favor.”

“We, Celestia and myself, would consider most boons to our subjects personal favors if done without expectation of reward. To repay a debt is a noble cause. We have to admit, thou art slowly changing our interpretation of thine character. T'would seem that thee art more than a common thief.”

“Oh Lulu, I've always been more than a common thief; I was good at what I did, and I hate to say this, but for a time I took pride in it. Hell, the only reason I ever even got put on the radar was because I saved a so called friends ass when he fucked up big time. Turns out it was a setup, but that's not important.”

“We find it very difficult to believe that one that would repay their debts out of nobility would take pride in stealing the possesions of others. Thou may want to explain.”

“Happily. I never took pride in stealing. Shit just wasn't in my nature. No, what I took pride in was not getting caught, getting in and out without making a sound. That, as you may or may not know, is something to be proud of. From the most modest prankster to an experienced thief, silent movement is probably one of the most useful skills one could practice.”

“Now that... That is a skill We could use. How wouldst thou feel about taking a job of sorts?”

Author's Notes:

Finished and finalized. I really need an editor, or just to not fuck up the first time. Whichever. Stay cool, kids.

Edit: Fucking Luna speak kills me sometimes. It makes sense, but ugh. I wanted to change it all, but it gets phased out in later chapters anyway, so fuck me and my dreams.