Thanks to the amazing power of Equestrian healing magics, medicines and other medical miracles, Bronze was cleared to leave the next morning, and was eager to return home for a break. AJ said the wolves had backed off of her family's property for the time being, so he could hunt the beasties at his own leisure. Especially with the heavy sack of gold coins Mayor hefted on him.

And he was lucky he got out of the hospital today; since either today or tomorrow, his parents were coming home from vacation visiting his sister.

Bronze practically exploded into his house through the front door, for once obscenely glad for whatever magic he was unconsciously weaving improving the place. It might soften his mom's opinion of all this, but he wasn't sure about his dad...oh. Bronze remembered the heavy sack of over 500 bits in his hand. Never mind, the man would be more than fine with it, his obsession with precious metals would ensure that. Actually.... 'Dad might actually see this as a pure godsend. Getting unmarked, pure gold coins? The man could easily turn a quick profit, I just hope his overtly honest nature and loose lips don't cause us or Equestria problems. Mom's good at keeping secrets, dad isn't....'

Bronze set the bag down on his...new, marble coffee table? Marble? Really? Why not-oh. Now it was soapstone. Better. But those sharp edges are dangerous and-now they're beveled, never mind. 'Okay, stop thinking about it, don't freak, don't focus, just leave it-DAMN IT!' Suddenly the coffee table was made of solid silver, and he sighed. 'Damn it dad...making me love silver so much...mom would not approve of this.' Look back at it, beveled soapstone. 'Stay that way.'

He turned to the wall, and slumped into the couch. “WHY~?!” His old living room TV was now an 80-inch flatscreen hung up on the wall, a whole new entertainment center under it, properly shelving his massive DVD collection, including what had been in the crawlspace. 'And their alphabetized, separated by both publisher and lead actor.' Bronze rubbed his temples, sighing as he looked upstairs, to see a second floor added instead of the empty space, support beams running across so there wasn't a need for a pillar. “OH COME ON! What is this?! Grant all my mom's home makeover wishes day?! Is it because she's coming home soon and I'm privately wigging out and about to-?!”

“Tea sir?”

“Thank you.” Bronze accepted the cup of tea, and took a sip only to spit-take, and look back at the animated tan clay golem wearing a tux. Like something out of Dragon Age, only of human size and proportion. “Oh gog...Jeeves?”

“Yes sir?”

'My fucking, childhood, imaginary friend just came to life out of fucking nowhere...I need help.' “That will be all Jeeves....” 'Just accept it, stop fighting it.' Bronze eased back into his nice, simple brown microfiber couches of excessive comfort, and cleared his mind. Let it go.

….

Fuck it.

“I'm going out Jeeves!” 'I'll just pretend I'm a cosplayer...hey, there should be a small anime convention at the college's library today isn't there?' A quick check on his phone provided that, yes, a small convention was being held further in town. “Lock the door after me.”

“Yes sir. I shall keep the riff-raff out and ensure any of your friends or associates are welcomed properly, and treated as guests should.” Jeeves bowed as Bronze walked outside, still wearing only the pants that Rarity had fixed for him when the poison melted his right pant leg. He didn't care, never did actually. Even when he was fat he preferred being shirtless because he always felt hot. Being barefoot though-okay, where did his boots come-.

'Fuck it! Don't THINK about it! Just, get to the van, drive to the con, mingle, have fun, joke that you glued your props to your head and bleached your hair.' Bronze ignored how smoothly the old wrought iron gate opened, and he valiantly ignored that his crappy extended-top camper van was now of the latest model-year. He also tried to ignore how ungogly comfortable the cloth seat was as he prepped the vehicle for driving, or how smooth it-DAMN IT WHY WAS IT SPREADING?! Bronze planted his face into the steering wheel, idly noting with humor the horn played “the cockroach”. 'This is like some Bruce Almighty bullshit going on, only I'm not doing it all intentionally, and my van isn't suddenly a super car.'

Bronze quickly checked his surroundings to find; yes, he was still in his van. Thank gog. He hates sports cars.

[@]

It was a hilarious drive down the main street of west Las Vegas, as the drivers who noticed him all had to give him a wave or look at him like he was a freak for his silvery hair, horns, and slit eyes. Someone even nearly got into a crash because they focused on him a few seconds too long. Then again he lived in Vegas; people “dressed up” like him were unusual, but still considered more part of the city than as an individual person. Maybe being a human-balrog blend wouldn't be so bad if he could keep up the act of it being a job, or hobby for nearby convention or whatnot.

Actually he was still wondering what game, show, book, anime or whatever he could say he was cosplaying was from. Bah, he'll just say he accidentally bleached his hair cleaning his driveway and decided to go the whole way and tack on horns and contacts. Hey, maybe he could pretend to be from Yu Yu Hakusho?

Bronze smiled as he neared his old neighborhood, turning left onto another major street, he only spent a few minutes more in traffic before he pulled into the lot of the public library on the north end of the campus. Parking was killer. The small monthly con was brimming full this month. It was cool it was hosted here every month for locals and the campus nerds, but since it was just a small white stone and glass modern building, a good deal of the event was held under awnings outside, and considering it was late June, it was bright, hot as in the hundreds, and guaranteed to give sunburn within seconds of exposure.

Bronze was SO glad for his new darker tan skin tone and it's more resilient nature. He still had to wear cheap and cheesy huge sunglasses to avoid a migraine though, and his horns, oh gog his horns were hot just on the walk from his van to the front doors. He could flipping FEEL the heat in his skull! How do horned mammals deal with this every day?

Simply upon walking in, he was asked to remove all props for security scans. That was a problem, and he demonstrated that he'd idiotically glued his horns to his head, so they weren't coming off. The guard was nice enough to check anyway, and cleared him after confirming the horns and his “contacts” were his only actual props, and he was let in.

Ah, hell. He just realized that if he'd covered himself in gray paint and painted his horns in candy-corn yellow, he could've cosplayed as a fantroll! He missed out on RPing for Homestuck! 'Idiot! Too late...now? Shit.' Bronze noticed himself in a mirror, and now his tan skin was much closer to the dark blue of his balrog fur, but was still pale enough to be a gray tone, and his horns were now the right shade of yellow. 'I can change myself too? I hope I don't expose myself.' Bronze jumped at feeling someone squeeze his butt in passing, and he couldn't see the culprit in the crowd, but he did see the source of girlish giggling nearby, and he huffed. 'Women. I swear, the moment I got ripped I lost my identity.'

“Hey~ big fella! Can I get a picture?” At a young woman and her girlfriends all casually dressed in light clothes approaching with cameras, Bronze decided to ignore his indignation at being a piece of meat, and instead revel in it. He'd have to get used to it.

“Zure you can handle all thiz ZTRENGTH in your photoz?” Bronze popped his pecks, getting hoots and cheers which started gathering attention. “Be warned; that Gamora Junkie defiez all expectationz!” Hamming it up a bit, he posed like Alex Louis Armstrong might, and gestured with his head for the woman to stand next to him, and she eagerly clung to his flexed arm, smiling as her friends took pictures.

“Me! Me!”

That was actually how Bronze spent most of the con. With women constantly asking to take pictures. He actually grew to like the attention, but most of the fun was when he'd role-played with a few other Homestuck role-players in a pantomimed epic battle, ending with the John Egbert cosplaying woman standing victor over him after his failed attempt at ruining their timeline out of spite of his own dead timeline.

He considered shopping, but didn't want to miss his parents getting home in the afternoon, if they did today. He was sorely tempted to browse the wares of someone who actually pulled off a perfect Resident Evil 4 Merchant costume, but the prices he saw from afar were outrageous. Besides, the only thing he might've been interested in was a giant backpack exactly like the vendor's, but he abstained and left. Upon doing so, Bronze shivered, and looked at the eerie red-eyed Merchant through the crowds, the man seeming to be intently staring at him. His instincts screamed at him to leave, so he did, never finding out just why that man unnerved him so.

[@]

Bronze got home without incident, the odd sense of normality was sobering and welcome. After entering his home by knocking on the sliding glass doors and Jeeves opening them for him, he decided to go to his room and-Twilight's on his computer....

TWILIGHT IS ON HIS COMPUTER!

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!” Bronze bolted into the room, and vainly tried to block the 40 inch screen from the gaping, thankfully dressed woman's eyes. “How did you turn it on?! How did you know my password?! WHAT UNHOLY SIGHT BEHIND ME HAS TAINTED YOUR INNOCENCE?!” His questions went unanswered, but the sight of drool and her perked nipples through the simple purple dress was indicative enough as he chanced a look behind him, and he groaned. “Pony stallion porn? That actually looks like your stallions back home? Where the HELL did you find...okay, forget the question, the internet is a terrifying place.”

“It's an AMAZING place!” Twilight shot back with admiration in her voice. “Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to get ahold of a copy of Playfilly with content even half this good?” Twilight stated, before she gestured for him to move aside. “Besides, I've discovered a holy grail of information on your world. This Wikipedia is just so informative!”

“Twi, I refuse to let you use MY computer to masturbate! That's what I use it for!” Bronze said defensively, and Twilight huffed indignantly. “Look, with all this weird magic mumbo-jumbo going on, I could probably get you your own computer, take it into Equestria, and it'd still work like my phone does.”

“I'll PAY you for a computer! Having so much information on-hoof, not to mention the entertainment value of this thing called YouTube! I mean, there are so many useful and informative documentaries I would have never even known about!” Before Twilight could continue gushing over the scion of madness that is the fabled internet, Bronze clasped her shoulders and shook her.

“Get ahold of yourself mare! You're letting it consume you! I'd only recently broken free myself, trust me; that way lies the path to solitude!” Bronze implored her, only for her to look at him incredulously. “Yes, it is that dangerous. On the internet, NOTHING is sacred! If they-.” He pointed at the screen, which still had a perversely splayed pink unicorn stallion with penis unsheathed and fully erect. “Knew of your world proper, not even Celestia would be spared their perverse, sick, twisted-!”

“Actually...they somehow already know about us...!” Twilight interrupted with a blushing nervous expression, and at him blinking in confusion, she laughed nervously as she clicked the back button, revealing a picture of Celestia herself enjoying the pleasures of her Guards, getting Bronze to look away and sigh. “So...whatever sort of magical focal point it was, it must have inspired at least one visionary in your world and now...we're already objects of your world's obsessions, perversions....” Twilight's face burned red as she clicked back again, showing a picture of herself in coitus with an orange pegasus with blue hair. “...Romance fantasies....”

“I cannot possibly feel any more ashamed of my world than right now....” Bronze groaned as he walked out of the room. “Jeeves, please escort Miss Sparkle home, and then see to it that any evidence of her having been here is erased in a proper manner. My parents might be home soon.” At Bronze mentioning his parents, Twilight's attention snapped from the compromising image of herself to what he'd said.

“Wait! Your parents? I thought you lived alone.” Twilight asked as she left the room, Jeeves sidling past her to erase her accumulated browser history.

“No, I quite clearly have told you girls that I live with my parents...haven't I? I'm pretty sure I mentioned it a few times.” Bronze couldn't remember if he'd told them now. He was pretty sure Twi had a better memory and attention span than him, so if she didn't remember then maybe he hadn't.

“You probably told one of the other girls and they just didn't tell us, and you forgot to mention it to the rest of us. Either way, this is news to me. What are they like?” Twilight couldn't remember if he'd told her either. Things had been hectic the past several days.

“Well, my mom; Maria Robinson, last of the Roch family women of her generation, is an overtly critical, spiteful, more-than-a-little racist and slightly suicidal 50-something year-old woman. My dad; Ronald Robinson, the current patriarch of the Robinson clan, is a too-honest, too-trusting, too-impulsive and too stubborn 60-something year-old man who has survived 6 strokes with only minor brain damage robbing him the ability to speak.” Bronze practically seethed as he recalled his parents, not being able to say much nice about them to Twilight's concern. “Love 'em to death...just wish they didn't need me so much sometimes...I'm the youngest in my generation of seven siblings, and it falls to me to care for them in their failing health.”

“Oh no...I'm so sorry to hear that. No wonder this anomaly worked out like this; you were truly desperate for a way out....” Twilight realized as she looked at the front door, and then back to the suddenly depressed Bronze, who had fallen short of spirit at just thinking of his parents. They'd only been on vacation a month, visiting his siblings, but he hadn't missed them much to his despair. Nobody should think that of their parents. “Would it help if I stayed?”

“No...no. It'd make things worse, mom might even get violent if there was a woman in the house without her approval. And she's quick to lash out. Especially when the booze hits. Which is every night....” Bronze growled, and Twilight sighed worriedly before she quickly took his hint to leave.

On the other side of the closed door, the unicorn mare steeled herself, and felt it was time to write a friendship report. One that possibly included a little stool-pigeon act in informing her teacher of the brewing catalyst for disaster that was the awoken magician Bronze and his enmity for his parents that had sparked the incident of the Doorways to begin with. Hopefully she'll have ideas to prevent his astounding awakening and growing power from causing a Cascade and destroying all life as she feared could happen, considering the vast differences between their worlds.

[@]

The clock struck 4PM. His mom called ahead a few hours ago, telling him to expect them around now. His dogs weren't freaking out in excitement, so they weren't here yet. He paced in anxiety, going over in his head how to go about this. 'Hey ma! I'm a mythological creature of great power now! Please don't kill my friends for their hides! They're not for RIDING ma! IT ISN'T LIKE THAT THEY'RE JUST FRIENDS!' Bronze whimpered as he hysterically plopped onto his couch, putting his face between his knees as he fought down the sickness trying to well up his throat.

“Some stomach medicine sir?” Jeeves offered a small medicine cup full of opaque pink liquid, and Bronze promptly knocked it back, coughing at the horrible flavor as he handed the empty cup back to his butler.

“Thank you Jeeves.” Just seconds later, all the dogs started barking. That was the signal and he bolted up from the couch and out the glass door to intercept them at the gate.

“Hi son, how are the animals?” Mary Robinson, his mom, asked. She was standing outside the gate. She was only 5 foot 4 inches, had long graying blond hair, his same original blue eyes, and she was a generously proportioned woman. She was overweight, but that weight focused more in her chest and butt, so aside for health purposes, she saw no reason to lose weight. She was wearing a black tank top and jeans with tennis shoes, her “driving clothes”.

“Oh they're fine, we're fine, everything's fine here, now...how are you?” 'Gog damn it! If that didn't sound like that line from Star Wars I'd be hitting myself!'

“What'd you do?” Mary's tone instantly turned sour, leering at her son through the gate as she fished out her keys.

“Nothing...intentional.” Bronze said cautiously, and when she opened the gate, she froze at seeing him clearly, just not noticing he was much bigger than before, a wall of raw tan muscle with horns. If she hadn't recognized his voice, she'd have thought this man was a freak intruder.

“Son...what happened?” Mary's tone shifted again, this time to worry as she briskly walked up to him to examine him, ignoring the excited dogs crowding around her, even as Violet jumped up her for attention.

“Well...it's pretty damn unbelievable. First though; only go through the glass door right now. Jeeves will do anything you ask. Dad unloading the car?” 'Please go along with it, please don't demand answers right now, right here.'

“...Yes...alright. I'll be in the living room.” Mary walked past him, and he sighed in relief, even as he heard her scream “OH MY GOD!”.

“Okay...hardest part's over. Now for dad.” Bronze quickly walked out to the driveway, and saw his dad's shorts-wearing bum in the air behind the open trunk of the white sedan. “Hey dad. Need any help?” Bronze waited for his dad to respond, which was a more complex affair than one would think. Ronald Robinson, or Ron Rob/RR, had survived 6 strokes through unbelievable luck and sheer willpower. He didn't get away scott free, each one progressively robbed him of his speech, forcing them all to learn sign language since written word escaped him too. He could read it, but he couldn't wright.

It was hell that he forced himself to relearn to use a keyboard for the computer.

Ron stood up straight with a smile, only for his dark tan wrinkled cheeks to frown in confusion. Ron was about 5 foot 10 inches, meaning Bronze towered over both his parents before at 6 foot 3. That small discrepancy aside, they were clearly father and son, especially with his recent transformation. Even pot-bellied and wrinkled with his age and illness, Ronald Robinson stood tall and strong, his features mirrored Bronze's aside from the height and muscle mass. His dad instantly realized through his muddled, medicated haze that something was wrong with his son, and promptly began weaving words with his hands.

“No dad, I'm fine. Nothing's really wrong. I just need you to come inside so I can speak with you and mom at length about a lot of serious changes that have been going on with me and the house lately.” Bronze informed his dad, who again moved his hands in a clear way. “Yes, it is serious enough to leave the ice chest in the trunk for now. You might even forget it the news is that big.”

Ron silently shook his head and closed the trunk before he walked up the drive to the gate, and Bronze followed after.

[@]

“So let me get this straight.” Mary stated after Bronze had managed to stumble through a slightly censored version of the past several days. He left out getting brainwashed and nearly getting killed by a hydra, he just hoped to catch his friends on that before they spilled the beans. He'd rather his overprotective parents not know for as long as possible. “You're a wizard, like from that book series, and you accidentally turned the house into a crossroads?”

“Basically....” Bronze stood before them both, not sitting as he tried to stay calm. It was going well, all things considered. At least his dad hadn't decided to check for himself yet, and his mom hasn't gone for her beer yet either.

“...Well...thanks son.” Mary said, surprising him as she smiled bemusedly. “You've basically made my dream house, and now you have to move out.” Both Bronze and Ronald gaped at her in disbelief. “I mean, your room is the only one still not blocked by a dimensional gateway, and I'm not about to take a trip through happy magical pony land just to get to my room.”

Ron got her attention by waving his hands, and then rapidly made very aggressive gestures, his displeasure quite apparent.

“Honey, no. We have no idea what going through them would do in your condition.” Mary protested in exasperation as Ron continued to assert his position on the matter with an all-too-familiar look in his eyes. “I'm not talking you out of this am I?” At a simple shake of his head, Mary sighed while Bronze was grinning. This time; his dad totally had his back! Ron defended that they had to at least give it a try, and it was unfair to force their son out of the house for things out of his control. The fact his points that the house was beautiful and they had a butler now kinda gave her no ground. “Alright son, we'll visit Equestria and we'll go from there.”

Before Bronze could do anything else however, the door upstairs to Fluttershy's was knocked on quite firmly, and he began ascending the stairs to it. “Odd, what could Shy need?” Bronze opened the door, and paused at the sight of all his friends aside from Zecora, Mayor Mare, Derpy, that perverted mint-green unicorn that masturbated on his couch, and both princesses. “Uh...can I help you all? I'm in the middle of talking to my parents about all this.”

“We know, and we were hoping to all gather earlier, but we hope to speak with your parents to help...settle things.” Celestia said, hiding that most of the reason was because if he became distressed enough on the side of the connection that was fragile, aka: his world's, then the possibility of a reality-ending cascade was enough to pardon court, and wake up her sister in the middle of the day.

“Oh, actually that's perfect! Me and dad both just convinced my mom to at least give Equestria a try. Hold on.” Bronze closed the door, and rushed downstairs in excitement. “Good news! My friends, the mayor of Ponyville and both of the princesses are upstairs wanting to speak with you! I'm guessing Twi blabbed about you getting back today.”

His parents looked nervously at each other, and both stood up at the same time. “Well I best give these ladies the courtesy of me meeting them if they're going to associate with my son.”

“Mom it's not like that.” Bronze said in exasperation with a sigh.

“I can't let just any floozy get near my son. You can't deny it. I noticed the look you had when mentioning Pinkie, Applejack and Zecora.” Mary said factually as she passed him, his dad rubbing it in with a few quick hand motions and a grin.

“Damn it dad! They're just friends! We just met!” Bronze yelled after them with a vibrant blush. 'Please, PLEASE let this go right.'

Upon reaching the top, he saw his parents standing stock still at the open Doorway, gawking at the sight that greeted them. Everypony managed a friendly smile, some awkwardly, and gave a wave. “Hello! You must be Bronze's parents-.” Mary promptly slammed the Doorway shut, on the verge of hyperventilating.

“Mom! You just slammed the door at Princess Celestia! She's the highest authority of the land there!” Bronze was about to open the door back up as his dad backed off, but his mom grabbed his wrist.

“Son, when you said they were ponies, I thought you meant anthropomorphic ponies like how you're now like...this.” Mart gestured to him, and he rolled his eyes.

“Once again, you don't listen. I TOLD you they were ponies, and that I became a balrog when I went over. Anything that comes in from their side becomes human-like while anything that goes there from here becomes a race of their world. Here, I'll show you.” Bronze muscled past, getting a wince out of his mom who cradled her hand at him so easily shrugging her off, and opened the door before passing through, becoming his 12 foot colossal form. “Sorry for that. My mom is really easy to disturb.” Bronze turned around to see his gaping mom, and rolled his eyes before he gestured to her. “For instance.”

“For instance?! You just turned into a giant-!” Mary screeched as she briskly walked through the Doorway, only to gasp and fall to all fours. “Ah!”

The sight surprised them all, especially Bronze, but Twilight recovered the quickest and wooped. “Griffins! Knew it!”

Mary Robinson was suddenly a griffin. Her lion body's fur was a soft platinum blond, her eagle head's plumage was the expected white, styled to look like a smooth wave of feathers aimed back, and her deep blue eyes really shined through. She was also impressively shapely with a strong chest, svelte waist, and pronounced flanks. The fact she was no bigger than the average pony was a big offset though.

“Mom?! Is there something I need to know?!” 'ZOMG! AM I ADOPTED?!'

“What are you on about?” Mary demanded as she tried to stand on two legs, only to flare her new broad platinum blond wings as she lost her balance, and fell back to her new talons. “What the fuck?” She held her right talon up to her face, and moved it in amazement. “Wow...just...wow!” She experimentally moved around, feeling unusually comfortable in her movements. “I'm...not in pain. My arthritis, my osteoporosis, my gallbladder...I'm....” Mary suddenly burst into tears, panting as her wings flared in jubilation. “I'm not in pain!”

“Why should you be? Are you not in your prime?” Luna asked in confusion, the still filly-sized alicorn tilted her head at the transformed queen. “I had thought that griffins didn't develop such deficiencies until at least their 160s.”

This got most everyone gaping, especially Mary. “I-I'm...50ish. So...where am I in terms of age here?” Mary asked hopefully, and Luna looked bewildered at her question.

“A healthy young queen in her prime. You have potentially a good 250 years ahead of you, should you age gracefully.” Luna informed factually, and Mary suddenly squeed in utter joy.

“We're living here!” Mary's sudden declaration surprised Bronze as she turned to face the doorway. “Honey~! Come on! You were the one who wanted to give this place a try!”

Ron sighed and promptly did as his wife urged. Upon stepping through, he surprised everypony, especially Luna and Celestia with his form. He was massive compared to the average pony, easily dwarfing them at thrice their size. He was a powerfully muscled tiger-hawk griffin, his red and black striped tiger body rippling with corded muscle and his brown hawk head with hooked beak was quite intimidating, his plumage was a messy short mop of red-tinged brown feathers, and his light blue-gray eyes looked himself over curiously, before he inspected his talons, and went through a few phrases.

“Uh...I'm not sure either dad. Kinda new here too. Why is he so different from mom?” Bronze asked as he turned away, not noticing his mom's vibrant blush as she shamelessly inspected her husband, who had noticed and puffed out his chest.

“Your father is a rare species of griffin, a tiger-hawk. They're known for being fierce, territorial, and keep to themselves. They rarely ever leave the highlands of Griffonia.” Celestia was interrupted by a surprised squawk, and they all turned their attention to Bronze's parents. Mary had Ron's tiger tail in her beak and was briskly dragging him into the nearby patch of woods, safely a good distance from Everfree proper, and Celestia giggled. “It would seem your mother needs to scratch the itch.”

Bronze gagged and blushed as he covered his face in his hands. “TMI Tia!” Bronze sighed as he plopped to his rear. “Everypony...that was my parents.” A loud squawk from the woods and Mary's scream of “OH YES!” made them all blush as he curled in on himself. “They're usually...more reserved in mixed company.”

“Now darling, the urge gets the best of all of us now and again, especially during a certain time of year, but aside from your mother giving in to her needs, they seemed quite-.” At a rapturous cry from the woods, Rarity had to blush deeper alongside everyone else. “Oh my...um...as I was saying. They seemed to be rather fine folks. Better than mine at least....” Rarity mumbled at the end, and after another squeal of pleasure, Twilight finally had the sense of mind to put up a silencing charm.

“That will last for a few hours. Might need to, considering griffin mating rituals can last several hours.” Twilight informed, and Bronze groaned as Rarity consolingly pat his bicep, and Dash flew over.

“Hey, buck up big guy! My parents went at it like rabbits when I was still living at home, and my mom? She can seriously squeal.” Dash admitted, getting Bronze to chuckle at her misfortune. “I mean, I've got several brothers out of all of it, but hearing them being...ugh, made? TMI mom and dad, TMI.”

“Thanks Dash.” Bronze said with a chuckle, before he sighed. “So, yeah, I think that settles things. My parents might just move to Ponyville considering how excited my mom was to live pain-free. We'll have to see how my dad's condition was affected. I doubt even these things could fix several strokes.” Bronze said sadly as he went up to his Doorway and closed it after his pets decided to come out and visit Shy again.

“I am glad to see that everything turned out for the best. Enjoy Equestria Bronze. Consider yourself a citizen. Come along dear sister, the country doesn't run itself unfortunately.” Celestia charged up her horn, but Luna moved away and waved to her with a hoof.

“Actually, sister, I deign to speak with Bronze Brave. Regarding my terrible manipulations of him.” Luna stated seriously, and Celestia sighed before she vanished in a wink of golden light.

“Luna, I don't blame you. You weren't yourself.” Bronze instantly stated. He wasn't one to hold grudges for things outside of other's control.

“On the contrary. Twas I who caused the allegiance spell.” Luna admitted sadly, facing the bewildered balrog. “I had been alone on the moon for a thousand years. I had been without any sort of contact, either verbal, visual, or physical. And you were the first living thing to touch me in any way. I instantly latched onto the concept, and instinctively sought out companionship of some form. This gave form to the first spell that Nightmare thought of, and...I'm sorry.” Luna's eyes dripped liquid shame, but to her surprise, Bronze swiftly approached and brought the tiny mare up to his chest for a nuzzling hug. “Mmf?” Luna asked through his chest fur.

“Oh, little Woona. I'll gladly give you all the hugs you could ever want.” Bronze cooed and freed an arm to scratch her behind the ears, getting Luna's eyes to roll back as she cooed and nuzzled deeper into his chest at the blissful gesture of comfort. His friends all giggled at the adorable display. Seeing a 12 foot balrog affectionately coddle what visually was a filly was just precious. “Well then, today was eventful.” Bronze stated as he sat, leaving Luna in his lap as he continued to massage her head and neck, the tiny mare sighing in blissful content as she gladly remained, only annoyed at how undignified doing this in public was, but oh~ his fingers were like magic.

“Indeed. It would seem however that our presence was unnecessary.” Mayor stated alongside the minty unicorn and Derpy. Said pegasus joined in on coddling Luna what with her motherly instincts kicking in and she saw to the tiny alicorn's preening, getting a huff of gratitude out of the Princess of the Night as she obligingly spread her wings. She hadn't received a decent spa treatment since she'd arrived, being too busy trying to acclimate to the new political and cultural arenas. This was no spa, but damn if it wasn't enjoyable and relaxing.

“Hey...um...I'm Lyra. Sorry for before.” The minty unicorn finally introduced herself. “I'm an anthropologist. Probably the only anthropologist on Equus for that matter. I generally specialize in minotaurs, centaurs, satyrs and other such creatures that share simian traits.”

“Good to know your name. I have a stain on my couch to label.” Bronze teased, getting a suitably ashamed blush out of Lyra, and a few incredulous looks from the others. “Regardless, once I'm done helping Luna get over her concerns, I'm going to bed. Today's been busy.”

“Mm...might I offer...a bed in the palace? Last apology, I promise.” Luna swore as Derpy finished arranging her feathers and removing a few loose ones.

“...Just how soft are we talking here?” Bronze asked curiously, and Luna beamed up at him adorably.

“Like clouds.”

Author's Notes:

Bronze is having a bit of an existential crisis at the moment. What with Bruce Almighty levels of bullcrap going on at home, and now finding out he might be adopted (he's not).

The Con and the Merchant are references to all those LoHaV stories out there that originated from a single source, and Bronze just evaded becoming another of the interdimensional being's little toys.

That isn't to say that some other poor schmuck didn't fall for that pack~.