It was winter. There was snow everywhere across Equestria. It was a beautiful winter wonderland as far as the eye could see from atop Battopia and Canterlot. Bronze adored winter, it was his favorite season. He loves the cold, the snow, the crisp sensation it gives, the general peace and quiet that not even the nights of the rest of the seasons can provide.

However, there is just one thing that spoils his mood for this time of year….

“Humbug!”

He hates Christmas….

“Oh come on Bronze! The play is in a few hours, and at this rate we’ll need you to take us all there yourself instead of taking the train!” Twilight pleaded at his bedroom door. Everyone was beyond excited to celebrate a holiday that Bronze didn’t believe in.

“No! I’ll send you all along, but for the last time! I! HATE! CHRISTMAS!” Bronze roared with his Royal Canterlot Voice, hiding and sulking under his bed blankets. ‘Of course, not even a world as wonderful as this is free of the capitalist monstrosity that is Christmas!’

Ever since he was smart enough at about 7-8 years old, to realize that Santa Claus wasn’t a real person, and that the venerated ancient holiday was just a way for corporations to bleed every single person of their money, he hated Christmas. His parents tried to stress the spirit of the holiday, but he knew it was empty, the ‘magic’ never existed, especially by the time he was born into the world. Especially once he realized that his family as a whole, despite staying constantly connected, were about as close as the sun and Pluto! After he reached a certain age, family stopped visiting, relatives stopped caring, it was just more proof of how hollow the holiday was. Because in the end, they ONLY visited out of obligation or tradition.

“Sugarcube, please. We’re actin’ in the play. Can’t you at least come and watch? For us?” Applejack pleaded, making Bronze whimper as he curled tighter under his thick blankets.

“AJ is that fair? Using our relationships to guilt him into something he doesn’t want to do?” Shampoo asked worriedly.

“Indeed it is not, such things the values shall rot. I say we let him wallow in his sorrow. His reasons are his own, let us leave him at home.” Zecora suggested to her companions, and Bronze sighed as he got out of bed and moved to the door.

“No, no. I’ll watch the play. But just so we’re clear, is this thing historically accurate?” Bronze asked as he opened the door and focused on Twilight, who smiled nervously.

“Well, actually. There is a rather raunchy bit that is left out for the sakes of the children. The part involving the ‘Fires of Friendship’ was actually the leaders participating in group hate sex to keep warm.” Twilight blushed with a snicker.

“Whoa, whoa! Ah like ya an’ the girls Twi, but Ah ain’t about to get under any of yer tails!” Applejack flustered as she edged away from Twilight, who just burst out laughing.

“Applejack, I just, pfft.” Twilight giggled as she helplessly trotted away from her friends down the hall to the herd’s confusion, all four members looking down the hall after her.

“I swear, since she and Trixie came out of the closet last month, she’s been way too excitable.” Bronze shook his head with a sigh. “Love does weird things to people.”

“She doesn’t have it nearly as bad as Rarity though. That mare can’t stop fawning over Spike since his growth spurt.” Shampoo commented as the four left Bronze’s room to join with the rest of their friends, including those outside their immediate circle such as Gilda and Bronze’s parents, who were all amicably chatting by the fireplace with Vivian being practically babied by Mary who was using her talons to fuss over the cub’s plumage much to the said cub’s annoyance.

“Alright everyone, get suited up or whatever, I’ll take us all there so we don’t have to make a mad dash to the train station. I’ll be back in a short bit to take us so meet me outside the front doors.” Bronze stated as he moved the the huge mahogany double doors and briskly exited for the freezing cold of Battopia, which was already filled with the frames of houses, and the ceiling of the cave actually had similar frames, but mounted in a hanging structure with staircases along the walls of the cave leading up to the unfinished superstructure.

‘To think Thestrals still kept documentation of their ancient cities. How they manage to safely mount them in the ceilings of caves I’m still trying to understand….’ Bronze mused as he approached Mistress, Duncan and Jeff’s stone Doorway at the mouth of the cave. ‘I hope they don’t mind me asking for more company. I don’t think I can stand being a downer with the locals when even my parents are all caught up in the ‘mood’.’

“Hey Mistress, Dunc. Can I have some company for Hearth’s Warming?” Bronze asked as he knocked on the door three times, and opened the door, blinking in surprise at the sight that greeted him. “Uh….”

“Harlot!” Twilight Sparkle yelled harshly, flame flaring out of her mouth, and flaring her wings, “why don’t you go back to Tartarus with the rest of your ilk!”

“Well Princess, my fiance is here so I’m staying here! Unlike you I have a reason to be here!” a crimson colored pony with demon horns and bat wings yelled, her whip-like spaded tail whipping around.

“I have more logical reasons to be here than you! Take your masochistic infatuation where ponies actually care! Like Tartarus!” Twilight growled as she bumped heads with the demoness, her longer alicorn horn pressing down on the red mare’s skull while the curled ram horns on either side of the red mare’s head pressed against Twilight’s temples.

“I. Can. Sense. Lust! I KNOW you’re lying through your teeth you self-important bitch! Back off! He’s MINE!” The succubus pony roared, the floor starting to burn some, as she pressed back against the purple mare, both growling viciously as lightning sparked between their eyes while they mashed foreheads and noses.

“Um...is this a bad time?” Bronze asked nervously, getting two glares of feminine fury suddenly aimed at him. “Eep!” Bronze meeped as he cowered to the ground and covered his head with both hooves and wings like Fluttershy tended to. “I’m sorry! Don’t hurt me!”

“Who the buck are-holy buck that’s cold!” The demoness recoiled from the blast of cold air flowing through the door at her and the alicorn Twilight. A hand patted the burning door frame on the other end of the room, putting the fire out.

“The drastic difference in barometric pressure between your location and here is causing an incredibly uncomfortable environment, close the door.” Twilight more calmly insisted as she dragged the large black stallion through the stone door and closed it rather than wait for him to do it himself. “Now then...who are you and where did that stone door...come from? What is that? It’s pinging off my senses like an emergency distress beacon.” Twilight mused as her horn shined. “I’m getting a sort of signal from the door.”

“That’s probably the Internet Connection.” Bronze commented as he peeked out from under his hooves and wings, but otherwise stayed on the floor with only his eye visible. “Hey, that armor...it reminds me of the Element Zero games.”

“Bronze what are you doing here and how did you make a door into my subspace?” Nuada asked peeking his head out from behind the charred door.

“Who are you?” Bronze asked as the presence of a male helped him gather some courage and stood up, getting the assembled to gawk slightly up at his imposing and statuesque 8 foot height. His thin and lithe build made him look like a very large thoroughbred horse, and he cringed as his long fluted horn stabbed into the wood roof, making the thestral alicorn blush. “Uh...sorry about that….”

“It’s me Nuada, you don’t recognize me?” Nuada asked waving off the damage, a glance around the room showed similar damage and some scorch marks.

“Nuada? Oh, right. Form Restriction. Guess you’re quite the salty dog to have two pretty mares fighting over you.” The black stallion snorted as he horribly tried not to burst out laughing, his cheeks puffed out with mirth.

“That’s right that horrible shape shifting thing.” Nuada said said dismissing the other part of the sentence, “This is LtC Sparkle from what she calls a Mass Effect world, she is also Displaced. Cinder you heard of last time, she is my fiance while we figure some things out.”

“Have you gotten him in bed yet?” Bronze asked the red mare casually, getting Nuada to choke at the absolutely comfortably said question.

“We’re waiting it seems for marriage, though I don’t know why.” Cinder said, flicking her tail and batting her eyes at Nuada seductively.

“Yes, it’s common practice for ponies, and other species normally I found out, to wait for matrimony of a sort for sexual intercourse.” Twilight commented with a nod.

“Not even oral? Dude, if there’s one thing I’ve learned this past year, it’s that you’ve gotta meet your mare halfway.” Bronze shook his head ruefully with his eyes closed as Cinder sniffed him.

“Whoa...you eat them out every night?” The succubus asked in surprise, and he nodded solemnly.

“So once again Bronze what brings you to my home and supposedly untouchable subspace.” Nuada asked, blushing, trying hard to change the subject.

“Uh, God of Space? If it occupies a physical plane, or even any form of existence, I can get to it. If this is a subspace it’s just another form of space. I mean, even the Void, empty as it is, has the luxury of allowing things through it. But actually, me coming here was a complete accident. I was originally using the Doorway to Mistress’s place and it opened here instead. Your worlds must be incredibly close somehow for the dimensional coordinates to scramble, hold on.” Bronze said, looking to the door and it suddenly vanished. “Okay, now that’s where it belongs.”

“Mistress?” Nuada asked visibly shaken, turning even more pale than his normal Irish heritage was. Nuada began hyperventilating and sweating profusely.

“Oh boy.” Bronze spun around and bucked Nuada unconscious, much to the two mare’s shock. “That would’ve killed a normal person, but he should be fine if I know Juraians at all. I find suddenly passing out to be preferable to a panic attack.”

Sparkle’s magenta aura surrounded Nuada for a moment before she let out a sigh of relief, “That did stop the panic attack, but I’d rather you not do that.” Sparkle’s left hoof shot out a green gel that healed the bruising and let Nuada’s eye open back up.

“Medi-gel! That is so cool! I mean, sure, magic can do that but it’s so much easier to make something like medi-gel than spend a long time mastering healing magic.” Bronze gushed like a nerd as he knelt down to look at Twilight’s hoof. “And you have it in an easy and quick to use dispenser built into your armor? Twi, I know you’re smart, but then there’s genius. And MY Twilight got an interdimensional internet working.”

“With some of the Displaced that live on Starswirl’s void ship learning things like this is easy.” Sparkle said, “and please call me Sparkle, it helps prevent some confusion with other Twilights.”

“Sure Twi, if that’s what you want Sparky, mind if I beam you up Scotty?” Bronze asked cheekily as he grinned down at the mare barely more than half his height.

“I would prefer Sparkle.” She said flatly ignoring his humor, glaring back up at him.

“Sure, but do you need to run diagnostics on your weapons systems first?” Bronze snorted as he tried and failed to contain himself.

“That is Garrus’ job, I maintain my puddle jumper and magitek research.” She answered cocking an eyebrow.

“Have you met Mordin yet?” Bronze asked eagerly out of the blue.

“And we’re done here.” Sparkle said turning around and leaving the room.

“But he’s the very model of a scientist Salarian! He’s knowledgeable of information Turian, Quarian and Batarian!” Bronze called out excitedly, getting a growl of frustration to echo into the room.

“Don’t take it personally, she doesn’t like to talk about her personal situation that much. So Bronze what did you need the others for?” Nuada asked while he saw Sparkle fly up the the roof of his little home. He’d woken up almost immediately after the Medi-gel did it’s work, he just felt better staying on the floor a moment.

Bronze suddenly was instantly filled with such a presence of despair, loneliness, and angst that Nuada and Cinder flinched away, but especially Cinder as he fell to his front knees with a haunted countenance. “One...word...the most evil, vile, and cruel thing in existence….”

“Black friday?” Nuada asked.

“Two words, you fail.” Bronze shot down in the same sullen tone but sharply, making Nuada pout and Cinder snicker. “No...but it is close….” Bronze seemed to shrink into himself a bit, seeming half his size. “...Christmas….” He whispered with a haunted tone, shivering with woe and simmering hatred.

“I thought Christmas was an Earth thing, we had Hearth’s Warming a few times over here, but what’s with Christmas bugging you?” Nuada asked.

“That may be what they call it! But ponies don’t see the truth! Especially with the cultures of my dead world spilling onto Equus like a cheap fresco painting, my new world is now at risk of the Capitalist Empire rising again!” Bronze bolted to his hooves, a seething hatred in his aura with his eyes ablaze, gritting his teeth, his temples pulsed, he snorted steam, and plopped onto his plot, flinging his hooves to the air as he took a deep breath to scream at the ceiling. “CHRISTMAS~!”

BRONZE VS. CHRISTMAS

“Dude, did you just pull a Dan Versus?!” Nuada balked as he backed away from the growling and increasingly angry stallion.

“What sort of Wrath is this? Only some of the fiercest demons I’ve met ever had so much hate and anger within them!” Cinder exclaimed with a hint of fear as Bronze bellowed and was enveloped in an aura of wrathful flames.

“We must stop the process! Before mall Santas become a thing again, and the corporations take over the governments!” Bronze screamed hysterically as he began foaming at the mouth, his eyes taking on swirls of Chaos-

Nuada slapped the stallion, “Chill, it’ll take at least 100 years for that to happen, work with your princesses to pass some anti commercialized holiday laws and it’ll be fine

“But they only have sovereign over Equestria! All those other poor nations out there will fall prey to the false tales of goodness and joy the refugees of my world will-!” Nuada slapped the panicky stallion again, getting the swirls in his blue eyes to finish vanishing. “Whoa, ow. Thanks.”

“Take things one day at a time, for now what is going on with Hearth’s Warming?” Nuada asked.

“I’ve gotta go see my friends and marefriend AJ perform in the play, but I’ve got nothing but spite for Christmas or related holidays, and I’m being a complete Grinch slash Scrooge right now. I was hoping to take Mistress and Duncan to the play with me so I’d have some outsiders to the situation balance me out.” Bronze wilted with a sigh. “But instead the Doorway sent me here and all I’ve done is dump my issues on you. I’ll just go and deal with it the hard way.”

“Well if you’ld like we could join you, I think Sparkle, and Cinder could use a day outside the house.” Nuada said.

“Hey I’m fine, she’s the one who started it.” Cinder cried with indignation.

“You provoked her again, I swear why can’t you two get along?” Nuada asked with a sigh.

“She’s a rude, inappropriate leech.” Sparkle called down.

“Sparks, I know my Twi has a thing for powder blue mares with silver hair. I’m sure you’re more open minded and fair than you think.” Bronze said confidently with a tone of respect. “It’s how open you are with your feelings that determines perverseness. We’re all perverts. Unless one of us is asexual. Do you need to take asymmetryl or something Nuada?” Bronze asked offhoofedly.

“I don’t have an issue with that, it’s how she hangs all over Nuada, and doesn’t help around the house!” The voice of Sparkle replied.

“Oh, the lazy pervert. Just trade sexual favors for stuff, that’ll get you far. Gets Shampoo off her lazy plot to do stuff all the time.” Bronze shrugged, twitching his ear and hissing as he tried to use his hoof to scratch it, but after a few attempts, easily flicked out his 3 foot tongue and began rubbing the crease at the back of his ear, getting Cinder to gawk in surprise.

“Thestrals don’t do that here,” she said with a smirk, “hey Nuada can you do that?”

“If I could do that, I’d never worry about getting the last drop of Sake out of the bottom of the bottle.” Nuada stated, “besides, I don’t see the point of a tongue that long when I have fingers.”

“I’m physiologically designed to eat mares out for nourishing protein. Oh, and giant flowers, fruit pods, bug burrows, the soft tissues of larger felled prey. Etc. Anyway, wanna go watch a play with me? Sparkle! I’ve got hilarious stories to tell you about Twilight and Trixie dating!” Bronze called out randomly as he trotted out of the room, leaving a very excited looking Cinder with the slightly disturbed Nuada.

“Can I-?”

“No!”

Author's Notes:

Guess who's back? Back again? Junkie's back! Tell a friend!

Starting off my comeback from unemployment is the Hearth's Warming Arc! Starring my pal DemonWolf and his characters from No Need For Equestria.

Let the Chaos, COMMENCE~! :discord: