“Oh, how I got myself into this?”

Elusive´s lamentations came because he was being circled by two hyperactive foals, Pumpkin and Pound Cake were happily playing around him, the pegasus mare chewing on his mane and the unicorn colt using his magic to levitate all the toys in the room.

Elusive sighed because he remembered exactly why he was there.

Just the other day Bubble Berry entered the bakery, happily humming to himself.

“I´m the D and the U with the S and K too. Right into the S H I N E also and ain´t no other pony trolling down like me. I´m Duskshinilicious! Huh, Dusky can be pretty funny too, when he´s not moping around that no mare loves him. Hey Mrs. Cake I´m baAAAAAARGHHHH!!! Elusive, what the hay do you think you´re doing?!!!

“Berry my man! This isn´t what it look like!”

“I can´t believe you! Mr. Cake has been out of town for just one day and you already have your hooves all around his wife!!!”

“Please Berry it´s not like that, Elusive was helping me and then I trip an-“

“Don´t try to defend him, Mrs. Cake! He´s just a big pervert!”

“Please Berry, I´m not like that! I was merely comforting Mrs. Cake and she really just trippe-“

Berry put a hoof on his friend mouth, trying to suppress the urge of putting that on his eye. Instead, he came with an idea. “Mrs. Cake, get your luggage.”

“What?”

“You´re going to visit Mr. Cake and I won´t take no for an answer. You tow are going to enjoy a second honeymoon in Baltimare and that´s it. Now go, go!”

The confused Mrs. Cake do as she was told and an impressed Elusive praised his friend. “Berry, that wa-“ that praising was cut short by a hoof right into his throat.

“Since I´ll be doing all the work in the store, you will be taking care of the twins.”

“Who, me? Oh please Berry, you know I´m no-“

“That´s not negotiable.”

“Understood.”

So now Elusive was stuck trying to keep those restless foals in place, a task seemingly impossible.

“Please children, stop! Pumpkin, stop chewing on my horn! Pound, please release that stallion! I´m quite sorry sir! Please let´s ju- argh, this is impossible! I thought that taking you tow to a picnic will do better but you are simply unbearable!”

“Oh how cute! These are your little brothers?”

Instead of correcting the lovely mare in front of him, Elusive grabbed the unicorn and hold him closely. “Yes, well actually they’re are my nieces but I love them just as much as I love my brother!”

“Oh it´s so nice to see a colt so close to his family!”

“Well, what can I say? I just love foals!” even if one of those foals just puked on his head.  

After the mare was gone, Elusive hugged the babies. “Oh you precious things! You just got me a lovely date for tomorrow´s evening. Oh I remember the days when I could use Sweepie Bell for that, you know, before he got into that goth phase argh! I wonder when he´ll outgrow that! But now I have you tow, you lovely little duo, especially you my Pumpkin Cake, you´re such a delight, I´m sure that you grow up to be a splendid mare. I can hardly wait for that! Ugh, Berry is right. I´m a big pervert…”

The sudden shriek of a dragon passing by scared them. Elusive hugged the babies and waited for the enormous shadow to fly by.

“Oh, my stars! There’s still some of that terrible creatures around! I´m so glad my dear Spines doesn’t resemble those at all, don´t you agree Pound Cake?” the unicorn baby merely drooled a little in response. “Ah, where´s your sister, dear?”

Elusive didn´t need to look up and see the baby happily chewing into the dragon tail.

Cursing his luck, he grabbed the proper attire and ventured into the woods, heading to the dragon´s lair. He was stopped mid-track by a pony covered in a black armor.

“Halt! Who goes there?”

“Please, I´m in a hurry. A baby foal ju-“

“Stop! Before you pass, you must answer the three questions!”

“I said I have no time for this!”

“What is your name?”

Elusive rolled his eyes. “Elusive.”

“What is your mission?”

“I´m searching for a baby.”

“What is the speed of the average seagull?”

“…Klutz, just leave me  trough, will ya?”

“Oh come on! I´m bored! Ever since they chased me out of town I have nothing to do all day!”

“Well, they warned you about talking again, Derpy!”

“They still mad for that?”

“You´re offensive.”

“I´m not offensive! I has a condition!”

Ignoring the grey pegasus complains, Elusive continued into the dragon territory, the scenery slowly changing to became more barren and desert. He suddenly was stopped by a group of female dragons.

“Well well, what do we have here?”

“Oh hi, my dears. How lucky of me to run into a group of such gulp lovely ladies?”

The dragons were anything but lovely being some of the hideous specimens of her races, still Elusive gentlecolts ways prevent him from pointing that out so he instead gulped some more as the lead dragonesses caressed his mane. “And what is such a handsome pony doing here all on his own?”

“Well I was looking for a little pegasus foal, she got caught in a umh adult dragon tail and I saw him coming this direction. Have you ladies seen him?”

“A dragon with a baby pony on his tail? No, I don’t think so. You girls?” the other dragons say no with her heads.

“Well, in that case…” but he was stopped by the dragon grabbing his neck.

“Oh wait! I think I did saw him!”

“Really? Where?”

“Oh my memory is terrible! Maybe I need some help to remember…”

Sensing the tone Elusive sighed and put the bay in the ground. “Double standards. This is exactly why I hated Ed, Edd and Eddy…”

“What are you murmuring?”

“I´m coming woman! Wait right here, Pound Cake!”

Elusive sighed again and went inside the cave along with the three dragons. Left alone and without company, Pound Cake soon grew bored and began using his magic to gather a bunch of stone and create a fake pony. Using his magic he infused it with life.

“I´m alive! I can feel! I can think! Father!”

Pound Cake giggled and smashed the rock pony with a head-butt, giggling some more.

Finally Elusive came out of the cave, covered on lipstick, his mane disheveled and a thousand years stare. “Come on, dear. We´re going…I hate this series some times.”

Finally, they reached a gian cave where the dragon rested atop of his pile of gems, casually palying with the pony still chewing on his tail.

“Good afternoon sir. My name is Elusive and I´m the guardian of that baby foal and I´ll be eternally grateful if you could return her to me.”

The dragon inspected the baby for a few seconds. “You want this?”

“Yes, please.”

“…no.”

“Oh please, kind sir! I just have a terrible day, can´t you please open your gargantuan heart and help a poor fellow creature?”

“…no.”

“Look pal, I just got molested by a bunch of terrible dragons so I don’t have the patience to deal with another one of you scaly punks, now give me that baby back!”

The dragon took the baby and toss her inside his mouth, swallowing her whole. “…no.”

“…oh, it. Is. On.”

***

Applejack was calmly trotting through town when he saw Elusive coming his way.

“Heya haystack, woah, what´s all that green thing yah covered with?”

“Shut up.”

Elusive went into Sugarcube Corner but before opening the door a certain cyan pegasus came out, covered in sweat.

“Thanks for helping me in the kitchen, Blitz!” a voice came from the kitchen.

Elsuive took a good look at the terrified Rainbow Blitz who looked back.

“…me too.”

“Yeah.” And he took off.

“Hiya Elusive, you had a good day watching the babies?”

Elusive didn’t answer him; he just put the sleeping babies back in the cradle. He took a good and long look at them…

“Yes, it was fun.”

Ten years in the future…

“Elusive, I´m going to kill you!!!”

“Wooooaaahhhhh!!”

“Uncle Berry, please! Don’t kill him! I love him!”

Pound Cake merely rolled his eyes. He knew Berry will react like this upon hearing the big news.

“Hey girls, you’re friends of Pumpkin right? My name is Dusk Shine, I’m a professor at Canterlot University!”

“Yeah, we need to do that thing with the thing….”

“Oh come on! Not even now?”

Inside a dusty and dark cave, a lonely pegasus was crying.

“Hello? Anypony there? Can I come out now? It´s been ten years! It´s Derpy still a offensive word! Anypony still mad at me?! Auhhh….”