Friendship is Complicated

Rainbow Blitz stretched his wings, letting the warm summer breeze caress them. He took a deep breath and covered his eyes with his hoof to look at the cloudless sky. This was a great day, no! It was an awesome day! And the best way to spend those was doing exercise.

“All right, let´s do this! Ready, Scotch?”

“Uh? Oh sorry, I wasn´t paying attention…”

Blitz growled at his friend who was distracted tending to a pack of hyenas.

“Wake up Scotch, I need you focused…and take these things out! What the hay are they even doing in here? Shouldn’t they be in whenever Zicor comes from, Zebratopia or something?” he shouted.

“You mean Zicornia and you are right, these little fellows are from a zoo in Baltimare. I´m merely taking care of them while Mr. Grin and Mrs. Crackled mate!” and Butterscotch grabbed the tow hyenas by their heads and squished them together, the poor animals putting a very awkward expression.

“Yeah right…”

“What was it again you wanted me to do?”

“I need you to keep the numbers. Take my time, my weight, my performance, all that boring egghead stuff I can´t be bothered with.” Blitz explained and handed a metronome to Scotch.

“Okay but shouldn’t you ask Duskshine for this? He´s better with the numbers and stuff.”

“It´s not that difficult, Scotch. Besides, if I asked Dusk for help, he´ll try to change my routine and will go on for hours about statistics and equipment or even worse…he´ll try to feed me one of his special juices.”

The mere memory of Duskshine´s special “enhancement beverages” was enough to drag all the color out of the pegasi faces. That was one Running of the Leaves they will never forget, nor will Prince Solaris for that matter. The sun literally was green for a few days after that.

Leaving unpleasant memories behind, Rainbow Blitz placed his hooves firmly in the ground, took another deep breath and took off. His routine was simply but effective, circle some clouds, punch them with an ascending uppercut, do a lighting shaped loop and finally land with what he dubbed the “Blitzkrieg Special”.

“Way to go!” was Butterscotch reaction after being blow up along with the hyena’s pack by the shockwave.

“Yeah, still got it! Now let´s check those numbers!” Blitz took the papers out of Scotch’s hooves and did a littler reading, his face slowly falling down as he kept reading. “This can´t be right…” he double-checked the list. “This can´t be right!” he triple-checked the list. “No way!”

“Something´s wrong?”

“Scothc, did you made the mistake? Are these numbers right?” he shoved the list on his friend face but the poor yellow pegasus have no answer to give. “This can´t be true! We must have made a mistake somewhere!”

“I still don’t get what’s wrong…”

“Look at this! It says I weight 98kg. now when I used to weight 90kg.! You understand what this means?!!”

“Ehhh how much is that in pounds?”

“Who cares? The important thing is that I gained 8kg. in three days and that can only meant one thing, dramatic pause, I´m fat!”

“Oh please, Rainbow! You are not fat!”

“Am not? Check this dewlap!” and he stretched his face down. “Not to mention this huge belly!” and he grabbed his stomach. “And look at my flank, you can build an entire town on this thing!” and he shook it left and right.

“Rainbow…”

“I can´t believe this is happening to me! I took so much care to stay in shape and now I´m nothing more than an obese blob! My career, my dreams of joining the Wonderbolts, my entire life is ruined!!!!! And why the hay are you laughing Scotch?”

“Huhuhu oh? Sorry, it´s just huhuhu you look just like Elusive when you overreact like th-“ Butterscotch didn’t get to finish that sentence because Rainbow Blitz punched him right in the face.

Butterscotch looked up and found the hyenas licking at his black eye.

“…was it something I said?”

****

“Okay Spines, I need you to remain perfectly still…”

“Are you sure about this Duskshine?”

Spines concerned tone was due to the fact that she was strapped to an operation table with Duskshine menacing looming over her, holding a vial filled with a strange glowing liquid.

“Don´t worry Spines, if I have made the correct calculations, this formula will only change the color of your scales.”

“And what if you forgot to carry the one or something?”

“Well, you most likely will burst into flames or something but don’t need to worry, my number one lab rat…”

“You mean assistant.”

“That too, I will only apply a tiny amount of formul-“

“DUSKSHINE!!”

Startled by the sudden outburst, Duskshine lost control of the flask that fell on top of Spines, bathing her on the sickening green fluid that, on contact with the air, exploded in flames.

“Aww shoot! Rainbow Blitz, don´t just barge into my house like that!” he reprimanded his friend.

“Sorry sorry but you wasn´t upstairs so I figured you´ll be in your mad scientist lair.”

“You weren´t upstairs…” he corrected him. “And it´s not a lair, it´s a laboratory!”

“Whatever, don´t care! Listen, I well I…I have this friend…”

“What friend?”

“It´s one of my friends, okay? And he needs help with something…”

“Who is it, Bubble Berry?”

“No, he is a pegasus…”

“Oh, then Butterscotch!”

“No, look, he´s not one of our friends…”

“You have other friends beside us?”

“Well, I do have a life unlike you Mr. I-never-leave-the-library-even-if-it-is on-fire!”

“Hey, don’t insult me! And that only happened once!”

Speaking of fire, poor Spines was the whole time they were talking running around covered in flames, screaming for help with Owloysius and Peewee doing their best to put her out.

“Look, are you going to help me out in here or not?” Blitz demanded.

“How can I help you when I don’t even know who I´m supposed to be helping?” Duskshine retorted.

“Look, it doesn’t matter who this pony is!”

“Is that girl you used to date, what was her name? Lightning Bolt?”

“It´s not her…”

“Thunder Lane? No, that´s a guy name…”

“Duskshine…”

“Oh, now I remember. Lighting Row!”

“…yes, that’s her name.”

“I can’t believe you dumped her just because she gave you wing flu…”

“Would you please shut up? Look, it´s me, I am the one who needs your help, okay?!” Blitz desperately screamed.

“And why do you need my help, Blitz?”

“Because I have…gained some weight.”

“Sorry, didn’t hear you. What did you said?”

“I have gained some wright…” Blitz voice was a mere angry whisper.

“Didn’t quite catch that…”

“I said I gained some weight, now would you please stop torturing me and help me get back in shape!?!!!!”

“Of course I will, Blitz my good friend; all you had to do was ask.”

“…yeah, thanks.”

“Now let´s go upstairs to start taking some measures…”

“I´m fine!” Spines proudly proclaimed cone the birds managed to put her out of the flames. “Hey Duskshine, did you know that we dragons are a hundred percent fireproof? I never tried to put myself on fire, it didn’t hurt that much but I´m guessing my scales are harder than they look after all, dragons do swim in lava, do they? Duskshine? You did know that, right Duskshine? Cause last time I asked you about dragons you said you didn’t know anything…Duskshine…I´m going to say yes to preserve our friendship.”

****

Duskshine forced Rainbow Blitz to a series of tests, connecting him to wires while he ran in a treadmill.

“Okay Blitz, I have checked the numbers again and you have positively gained some weight. Have you been eating more lately?”

“Stupid Applejack and his apple pie eating contests!” he murmured.

“No need to put that worrying face, Blitzy-Witsy!” and Duskshine patted the pegasus´ head while doing his best impression of Bubble Berry. “With my patented exercise program you´ll back in shape in just ten days, I guarantee you!”

“What did I get myself into…” Blitz lamented.

“It´s time for a montage!! Montage, a weight-loss mont-”

To spare the readers the suffering of dealing with Duskshine awful singing, Rainbow blitz took the microphone before the song started.

Suffice to say, that the unicorn put his friends to an exhaustive routine of exercise, trotting with weights attached to his hooves, not using his wings for days and several of his special “boosting drinks!”

By the end of the ten days, poor Rainbow Blitz was a shadow of his former self.

“I don’t understand. You have been working non-stop these days and yet you don’t only not loss any weight but you actually gained some more!” Duskshine incredulously said while scratching his head. “Are you sure you have been drinking my energetic beverages?” and he levitated the glass filled with some brown…thing.

“Please…no more.”

“Maybe I forgot to carry the one again…”

“Maybe it´s my fault!” Rainbow exclaimed while getting up. “I should have asked somepony whoa actually cares to stay in shape!”

“What are you implying? I go to the gym with you guys ever week!”

“Oh yeah? Then where does this come from?!” and he grabbed Duskshine’s belly.

“Oh no! This can’t be! Spines, take some measures!” Duskshine consulted the numbers and his face dropped. “It´s true…I´m fat! I can’t believe this is happening to me! How can I dare to say I´m the Prince´s most faithful student? I should call myself the Prince´s fattest student!”

“heheh you know? This is funny!”

“No! We can´t let this defeat us! We must lose this extra weight! Rainbow Blitz!” and he extended his hoof to his friend.

“You are right! We´ll do it, together!” and he crossed forelegs with Duskshine.

“Awww you look so cute with your little bellies!!” and Spines picked don the ponies bellies who in response hit her on the head simultaneously.

“AUH!”

****

The next day bot ponies were at the top of a hill, all ready and set on their exercise clothes which looked ridiculous in Duskshine. He had planned an exhaustive routine of joint exercises that will need them both to be tied by a rope. That, coupled with a strict diet, was sure to make them regain their shapes.

Spines, of course, was the first one to point out this wasn’t going to work.

“All set?”

“Yeah, let´s go!”

At first, it seemed like a good idea. Duskshine had to keep up with Blitz´s rhythm and Blitz had to fly while carrying Dusk´s weight, all the while both avoided several obstacles set across town. It all seemed to be working.

They only failed to realize that doing this in town in the middle of the day could lead to some unforeseen events; like for example Macareina walking in with a wagon full of hay.

They both tried to avoid it, forgetting they were tied by a rope and stretch it was a terrible idea. The red mare was caught by the rope along with her wagon and they all went downhill. Rainbow tried to pull the rope and stop the thing but he was out of strength. Duskshine was similarly tired and even with his magic he couldn’t slow it down.

“Don’t worry Macareina, we´ll save you!” Duskshine announced

The red mare was about to say something when Rainbow Blitz took the rope with his teeth.

“Less puff tofeter!!”

Assuming he said let´s pull together, Duskshine grabbed the rope as well and they both tried to stop the falling carriage but they only ended up removing the rope and they both fell and got tangled together.

They looked up to see Macareina still going down with the carriage set right into collision crash with his little brother who was calming walking down the street.

“I can’t watch this!” and Spines covered her eyes.

Applejack turned over to see the wagon coming right at him and once it was merely inches of his face he…simply stop it with his right hoof, not even moving from his place as the wagon slowly stopped moving.

“Thanks, bro.”

“No problem, sis.”

Bot ponies watched as the earth ponies went their separate ways, without even bothering to mention the issue. Once the danger was cleared, they let out a sigh.

“Are you oaky guys?” Spines asked, running down the hill.

“Yes we are Spines, but I think this little accident was a wake-up call…” Duskshine said.

“Yeah so, I gain a little weight, so what? It´s not like it is the end of the world or anything! I´m still awesome!” Rainbow Blitz proclaimed.

“Yes and I don’t need to be a muscled pony! I´m happy with the way I am!” Duskshine proclaimed as well.

“You still could loose some pounds, Dusk…” Spines murmured.

“What do you say we throw all this away and go grab some pastries at Sugarcube Corner?” Duskshine suggested and dropped half the equipment on Spines head.

“Sounds good to me!” and Blitz dropped the other half on her.

Once they were inside the bakery, both friends shared a chocolate shake and some definitely diet-forbidden pastries.

“Ahh, this is delicious! I can’t believe I have been drinking nothing more than those horrible juices of yours for the last twelve days!” Rainbow Blitz said after finishing his drink.

“They’re not supposed to be tasty they´re were chemically mixed to drive your best performance and burn any extra calories!” Duskshine offended explained while holding one of the beverages Blitz hadn’t drink.

“All I know is that they’re poison, dude.”

“You simply don’t value the benefits of applied science!”

“That’s not true! I dated a scientist mare once!”

“That doesn’t count!”

“Uuuh frothy mug of water!” Bubble Berry said and gulped the entire drink. He turned red, blue, black and several other colors before exploding in a rainbow cloud. Once it finished, Bubble Berry got up no colored white with a blond mane. “…what?”

Nonchalantly, Duskshine consulted his notes.

“Uhh, I did forget to carry the one.”