“And you call yourself a baker, ha!” sneered Mrs. Cake. “Mr. I-Went-To-Culinary-School. Yeah, right. Can’t even cook a batch of cookies.” She shoved a cookie into her mouth.

“I’ve been baking cookies since four in the morning,” he explained.

“Oh, uh huh. Sure you did.” She shoved in another one.

“You’re eating one right now.”

She looked down at the cookies in her hooves. She threw one at him.

“That is just like you.”

“I...”

“Contradicting me like that in front of Pinkie and the customers.”

“I...”

“I don’t remember why I married you in the first place. Lord knows I could have done better.”

“I...”

“Oh, whatever. I don’t know why I keep you around. Maybe you should just go ahead and move out. It’s not like you actually care about anything. I’m going out with my friends again. Don’t wait up.” She charged out the front door of Sugarcube Corner, eating a cookie as she went.

Mr. Cake sighed.

“Um, Mr. Cake?” Pinkie walked over.

“Oh, hi, Pinkie. Could you do me a favor and help these customers for a moment? I need to go back in the kitchen for a minute.”

“Um, sure, Mr. Cake,” Pinkie tried to smile.

Mr. Cake went back into the kitchen. Not feeling comfortable there, he went back into the storeroom. He sat down on a crate and dusted off his apron. He sat there for a long while, staring at the back door and thinking. He heard the chime of a cash register and the jingling of the bell on the front door. But he didn’t really pay attention to either.

“Mr. Cake?” came Pinkie’s voice from the kitchen.

“Mr. Cake?” Pinkie called as she entered the storeroom. “Oh, there you are.”

“Oh, hi, Pinkie. Did you take care of all the customers?”

“Sure, and I closed up five minutes early. I know I’m not supposed to close early, but I had to ask you something. Mr. Cake, how can you let her treat you like that?”

“Huh?”

“Mrs. Cake. She was totally just mean to you and pushed you around and you didn’t do anything!”

“Pinkie, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh yeah, well try me.”

“I... she... I...”

“Yeah?”

“She’s under a lot of stress.”

“No she isn’t, Mr. Cake. You’re the one who does all the work. And she acts like this all the time.”

“Well, what would you have me do, Pinkie? Argue with her? You know that only makes her worse. Divorce her? Where would I go? She’d get the shop, and that’s all that I have.”

“If she had thrown that cookie at me like that, I’d have kicked her right in her nose.”

“I can’t do that Pinkie. Besides, throwing a cookie is hardly the worst she’s ever done.”

Pinkie was speechless for a moment. “What do you mean, Mr. Cake? You mean she’s gotten violent before? Mr. Cake, has she kicked you?”

Mr. Cake’s voice rose; he wasn’t liking where this conversation was going. “I’m a lot bigger than her, Pinkie. I’m a stallion, she’s a mare. I could hurt her if I wanted to. It doesn’t work the same the other way around. It’s different.”

“No it isn’t, Mr. Cake. That’s totally unfair.”

Mr. Cake sighed. “Life isn’t fair, Pinkie. I’m resigned to that.”

Pinkie couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “And just how much longer are you going to keep this up?”

“I...,” Mr. Cake began. His voice started to crack. Oh god, Pinkie thought to herself, is he going to cry? “... I’m going to keep this up for as many years as I’ve got left. I don’t know how many that is. But I can take this. It’s the only life I have.”

Mr. Cake hung his head down. Pinkie herself felt like crying. She couldn’t stand seeing other ponies sad. She had always considered making other ponies happy and cheerful as a personal duty of hers. She wanted to do something for Mr. Cake. Something big.

She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. Just gently. Her eyes were closed, but he opened his as wide as saucers. She let go, stepped back, slowly opened her eyes, and gave him the the biggest smile.

His eyes were still wide. “Why... why did you do...”

She kissed him again. This time harder. She forced him back into the the shelving. Random items were knocked over. She kissed him longer this time. He was still surprised, but slowly his eyes rolled up into the back of his head. His eyelids slowly shut. Pinkie let go.

“Pinkie, I...”

She kissed him a third time. She wrapped her front legs around him, shoving him back into the shelves. Items rolled onto the floor. She opened her mouth. He opened his. She slipped in her tongue. He let it in. She poked at his tongue, pushing at it to respond. It slowly did, rising up and pushing back. He wrestled it back into her own mouth and inserted his. They made out for a long while. She pressed on his tongue with both of her lips, and slowly pulled away, sucking on it gently. A long string of saliva hung from both of their mouths and then dropped.

She slowly got down on her knees in front of his crate. She leaned forward, pulled him close and started kissing his chest. She could feel his penis growing between them. His head emerged from its sheath, poking her in her belly. It was hot, and wet from pre-ejaculate. It continued to grow, dragging the wet head up Pinkie’s chest. She could feel it getting harder and harder on her coat. She didn’t have to look at it to tell it was big. She stopped kissing him on his chest. She looked up at him with her big blue eyes.

“Pinkie,” Mr. Cake said. “I’ve always wanted you. I’ve never said or done anything about it, but I’ve always wanted you since the day you started working here.”

She smiled back up at him. “You deserve me, Mr. Cake,” she said. “I think you’ve earned it.”

Pinkie slid his cock into her mouth. She didn’t slow to tickle his head with her tongue, or kiss up and down the shaft. There was no teasing involved. She just took it in deep and started sucking it. Mr. Cake’s head rolled back and banged against the shelf. He didn’t even notice. Pinkie lifted up her leg and cupped his balls in her hoof. Mr. Cake looked back down again. He had to watch; he couldn’t help himself. It was fascinating to watch Pinkie’s soft pink lips sliding up and down his cock. She rose back up to the head of his dick. She sucked on this hard, making a slurping noise. The pressure inside of it felt intense. She popped it out of her mouth. It hadn’t looked so large and hard in years. Holding onto his cock with her hoof, she bent further down and started to lick his balls. She focused on one, licking it first, then sucking it part way into her mouth. She applied just the slightest pressure with her lips, and then popped the whole thing in. She rolled it around in her mouth with her tongue, and then treated his other ball the same way. Mr. Cake’s dick rested against her cheek as she sucked them.

Letting go of his balls, she placed her lips on the small spot between the base of his shaft and his sack. She sucked this spot, and then slowly moved up to the end of his sheath. She played with it with her tongue, rolling back the skin, and sliding it in between his sheath and his shaft. She mouthed the side of his shaft all the way up, pressing on the other side of it with her hoof. She took the head into her mouth and sucked loudly on it again. She inhaled deeply through her nose, and then took the whole thing into her throat once more. When she got down to the base, her nose rubbing against his abdomen, she looked up at him with her big blue eyes. Mr. Cake gasped. She started working up and down vigorously. Mr. Cake reached up and placed his hooves on the top of her head. She didn’t seem to mind, so he started pressing down, timidly at first. Her only response was to make “mmm” noises. So Mr. Cake started to press even harder. He started to just lightly gyrate his hips upwards as he pressed down, fucking her face. She only seemed to enjoy it more. Mr. Cake hadn’t felt like this in years; he had never gotten a better blowjob before. Mr. Cake took his hooves off of the top of her head, and simply held onto her ears. Pinkie went down to the base again, and very, very slowly pulled herself up one more time. When she got to the head she kept sucking on it, and inhaled deeply through her nose again. She started playing around with his head in her mouth, licking and sucking on it as if it were a lollipop. She stared into his eyes the whole time. Finally, she let go of it with a wet plop.

“So,” she smiled at him, “where do you want me?”

It took a moment for the question to register with Mr. Cake. Once it did he knew exactly how to answer. “My marriage bed,” he said.

“Okey dokey,” Pinkie chirped. She turned and started walking away towards the stairs. Normally she would have just bounced her way there. This time she was walking, slowly. She had her tail raised high into the air, showing herself to him. Her lips were exposed to him, pink and frilly. She was visibly wet with anticipation. That darker skin of outer lips stretched around her pussy, up and around her asshole, then back down the other side. Mr. Cake slowly followed, not taking his eyes off of her. He was hypnotized by the way her cheeks and balloons shook as she swung her hips. Drool and pre-ejaculate dripped off of the tip of his cock onto the kitchen floor as he came after her.

When they got up to his bedroom, Pinkie hopped her front hooves onto the bed, exposing her rear. She looked back at him invitingly. Mr. Cake approached her. “Wait a minute,” she said, hopping back off. She walked to his side and stuck her neck underneath him, taking his dick into her mouth one more time. He had started to lose the erection on the walk up the stairs - the head had bent a bit to the floor. Soon he was hard - as stiff as a steel rod - and Pinkie hopped up on the bed again. “All yours, Mr. Cake,” she said.

Mr. Cake mounted Pinkie Pie. His long, pendulous cock swung around a bit before finally landing on Pinkie’s pussy. He started pushing it in slowly. Pinkie’s eyes went wide. It almost hurt a bit. She had been so surprised at how well hung he was. She didn’t know what Mrs. Cake’s problem with him was, but he certainly didn’t disappoint when it came to size. Mr. Cake stuck it all the way in, and then started to slide it in and out. He was slow, gentle. A bit dull, Pinkie thought. She craned her neck back and tried to look at him, trying to smile up at him. He grinned down at her.

“A little harder, please,” she asked.

Mr. Cake started pounding a little harder. Little ripples flashed across her butt cheeks as he slammed into them.

“Oooo,” she said.

He started fucking harder and harder. He reared up higher, putting his front hooves on her back instead of wrapping his legs around her waist. He stretched his neck up into the air. He was pulling all the way out to his head and then slamming it all the way back in again. Pinkie was so wet. She was dripping down her legs. It was dripping onto Mr. Cake’s ball sack. He kept fucking her until he was covered in sweat. His breathing started getting ragged. His rhythm started to slow down. He looked down at the back of Pinkie’s head. Her big poofy, curly mane bounced as he fucked her. It was something he had always wanted to see. She turned her head back up to try to look at him.

“Hang on a second,” she whispered.

Mr. Cake dismounted. His wet cock swung out, dripping fluid all over the floor. Pinkie clambered up on the bed. She rolled over onto her back, and spread her hind legs way out, inviting him into her. Mr. Cake climbed up on top of her. He had to guide his dick into her pussy with his hoof, but once the head was in he just drove the rest all the way in with his hips. It felt so good, warm and soft. He just kept it inside for awhile, feeling it. He laid down on top of her, putting his weight on her to rest for a bit. She wrapped all her legs around him, hugging him close.

“I want you between my legs,” she whispered into his ear. “I want to look you in the eyes while you fuck me.”

Mr. Cake rocked his hips forward. He didn’t withdraw, he just pushed. Both of their hips started to rock.

“Pinkie,” he gasped. “I’ve wanted you for so long. You’re so beautiful and happy. I’ve always wanted you.”

“Well, now you have me, Mr. Cake. Do whatever it is that you want to me.”

Then Mr. Cake started to withdraw his cock with each thrust. He withdrew it further with each stroke. He sped up as well, and started driving it home harder. He took his weight off of her, propping himself up with his front hooves on the bed. He was really starting to pound her now. There was a meaty slap each time his hips stuck her. She reached up with her front hooves and grabbed her hind hooves. She spread her legs apart as far as they would go, giving him as much room as he needed. His balls were swinging wide, slapping into her ass.

Pinkie looked up into his face. He wasn’t looking back down at her. He was staring straight ahead at the headboard. She had never seen such an angry look of determination on his face before. His brow was furrowed. His eyes glared in concentration. His teeth were bared and he was breathing through them. Just his face turned her on even more, and it felt just a bit intimidating as well. Pinkie had taken a number of younger stallions before. Some were well hung, some had skill, others endurance. None of them had the combination that Mr. Cake had. None of them had a position of authority over her that Mr. Cake had. None of them had always been so nice to her, as Mr. Cake had. None of them had wanted her so completely, not like Mr. Cake had. Pinkie started to cum.

“Oh god, fuck me, Mr. Cake!” she shouted.

Mr. Cake grunted loudly.

“Fuck me harder, Mr. Cake! Fuck me! Fuck me! Fuck me!” she shouted, the orgasm overcoming her.

“Aaaahhh,” Mr. Cake moaned. He gave her everything he had.

“Fuck me, Daddy!” she screamed. Her orgasm climaxed. She arched her back hard, and then all her limbs went limp. She flopped into the bed, a large wet spot collecting underneath her on the sheets. Mr. Cake kept fucking her hard for a few more seconds before he came as well. He shoved himself in again, and shot a load into her. He plunged into her one more time before shooting another load. He collapsed onto her, exhausted. She stroked his sweaty back with her hooves, still reeling in ecstasy. He took a few gulps of air, catching his breath, then pulled himself off of her. He looked down to see his thick white seed flowing out of her bright pink pussy. Then he fell into bed.

Both of the ponies laid there for a long while, relaxing. Pinkie rolled over and started to cuddle Mr. Cake, one of his legs around her shoulders. She was rubbing his chest.

“Wow,” Mr. Cake eventually sighed.

Pinkie lifted her head up, and started to kiss his chest. She kissed down his breast bone, and then his belly. His dick was flaccid, but it hadn’t fully retreated into his sheath yet. It was lying limp against his stomach. She kissed the tip of it, then kissed down the shaft. She started to lick his balls once she reached them. She picked up his limp penis with her hoof and started to stroke it. Pinkie rubbed it against her cheek. As it began to grow semi-erect, she sucked it up into her mouth again. Mr. Cake moaned. He could feel it getting harder and larger inside of Pinkie’s mouth as she sucked it. Every time she moved up it, it grew larger. She made one more stroke as it became completely erect, then she released from her mouth.

Pinkie got up and straddled him. She held it with one hoof, and then slowly squatted down on him, impaling herself with his cock. She leaned forward, lying down on top of him. She started to roll it around just a little, rubbing her clit at the base of his dick. Mr. Cake was in heaven. Not having to work, he could simply enjoy the sensation to its fullest. He reached his hooves behind her and squeezed her butt cheeks, pulling them apart. She squeaked; he groaned. Pinkie was breathing heavily into his ear. Then she sat straight up and started fucking him in that position. He reached his hooves forward and pressed against her nipples. She pressed her hooves against his. She threw her head back and started to moan.

“Oh god, Oh god!” she yelled, over and over.

She nearly had a second orgasm, but it faded away. She got up off of him. Mr. Cake watched as his dick slowly slid out of her and slapped against his belly. Pinkie stood over him, turned around, pulled his dick back up, and slowly squatted back down on it, facing the other direction. Mr. Cake couldn’t believe it. This was his favorite position. He hadn’t had it like since he was a bachelor; Mrs. Cake never liked it. Pinkie wasn’t just rolling it around, but was working the shaft, all the way up and down. Mr. Cake spread her cheeks apart, watching as her asshole slid up and down just an inch or so above her pussy. He could comfortably watch it all from here. Her lips were spreading out along his cock as she slid up. He started to play with her ass, rubbing it a bit with the edge of his hoof, pressing on it.

“Mr. Cake?” Pinkie asked.

“Yeah?” Mr. Cake gasped.

“Did you want to put it up my butt?”

“I... I... are you serious?” he asked.

“Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Well, I... I’ve never done a filly up the butt before.”’

She stopped, lowered herself all the way down is cock, and turned around to look at him. “Really?” she asked. She was genuinely surprised.

“Well, I... Mrs. Cake has never let me. Ever.”

“Is she crazy?” Pinkie asked. “Wait, forget I asked that. C’mon, Mr. Cake, you’re long past due.”

She dismounted and got on the bed on all four knees, sticking her tail back into the air. He got up eagerly and mounted her.

“Alright,” she said, “since you’ve never done this before, you need to know that you’ve got to start off slow. Real slooooow.”

He pushed his dick head up against her anus; there wasn’t any give.

“Don’t forget to get it real wet,” Pinkie said.

Mr. Cake lowered his dick, shoved it in her wet pussy one more time, and then returned to her ass. This time he started putting weight into it. At first it didn’t budge, then it very slowly started going in. First the tip of the head went in. Mr. Cake kept pushing very slowly, concentrating. The lower edge of his head disappeared into her. Pinkie was wincing, and breathing through her teeth.

“Are you OK?” Mr. Cake asked. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No, don’t stop,” she commanded. “Keep going, but slowly.”

Mr. Cake kept slowly inching his shaft into her, still hardly believing he was actually doing it. When he got it about half way in, he started to push it in and out, still very slowly. Over the course of several minutes he started pumping faster and deeper. In due course, Mr. Cake got the whole thing in. Pinkie was writhing and moaning beneath him. Now that it was in properly, he could really start to pound on her ass. He closed his eyes and really started to enjoy it, instead of just worrying about her comfort. It was a lot like pussy, he had to admit to himself. The difference was wonderfully subtle. The ring of her butthole had a tight grip on his cock. It was tighter than any lips, far tighter than pussy. It felt great. Most of the joy was psychological. After many, many years he was finally having a wish fulfilled.

Pinkie reached underneath and started to rub her clit. She could feel Mr. Cake’s big balls slapping against her hoof. She was ready to let Mr. Cake fuck her ass for as long as he wanted to. She loved the attention. After a long time, she finally said, “Mr. Cake? Do you see that table over there?” She pointed.

“Yeah,” he said. There was a large square table underneath their bedroom window. There was a small flower vase, and portraits if his in-laws sitting on it.

“I want to go over there, get on that table, and have you fuck me. Is that OK?”

“Sure, Pinkie,” Mr. Cake said.

Mr. Cake pulled out and Pinkie went over to the table. With one motion, she knocked everything off of it. Mr. Cake didn’t give a damn. He was expecting her to bend over the table. Instead she got up on top of it and laid down on her back. She spread her legs out wide and pulled her hips up a bit, showing him her butthole.

“I like it like this, Mr. Cake,” she said.

Mr. Cake obliged her. He got up on top of her and slid himself back into her ass. This time it went in much more easily. He started thrusting into her again. He reached down with one hoof and started rubbing hard on her clit.

“Oh god!” Pinkie screamed. “Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!”

Pinkie looked to him like she was about to come again. Mr. Cake couldn’t believe it, he didn’t even know that was possible like this. At least not with her; he himself felt like he was close again. Fluid was dripping down out of her pussy and onto his cock, making it more and more slippery.

“Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it!” she screamed. Pinkie came again. She let out a little squeak, and then a huge gasp. She sucked in two full lungs of air. Her eyes were wild and her mouth one large O. She gestured at him to get off of her; she could hardly talk. She gestured for him to sit on the bed; he did so.

Pinkie grabbed his cock and shoved it into her mouth again. She took three big strokes and then Mr. Cake came for a second time. She pulled it out of her mouth and let it spray all over her face. She got it on her eyes, forehead, cheeks and snout. She sucked it back in again and let him finish shooting his load in her mouth. She swallowed. She kept sucking on the head, even as it diminished. She sucked it hard as if trying to get the last drop out of his balls. She swallowed all that she could get out. Then she looked back up at him with her big blue eyes and smiled.

Mr. Cake collapsed backwards into bed.

Some time later Mr. Cake started to stroke Pinkie’s back. She was curled up next to him, smiling.

“Thank you, Pinkie,” he said.

“My pleasure, Mr. Cake.”

“No, I mean it. I know you just did that to cheer me up.”

“Well, it’s not like I did it just for you. I came twice you know.”

“Really? You weren’t faking it?”

“Of course not, silly,” she smiled. “Why would you even think that?”

“Well, the second time was up the butt. I didn’t think fillies could come that way.”

“Mr. Cake, you’ve taught me everything I know about sweets, but I’ve got a thing or two to teach you about fillies.”

“Really?” Mr. Cake said. “Well, Okay. I guess.”

“Hey, Mr. Cake, listen. If I just wanted to cheer you up instead of wanting action for myself, wouldn’t I have just finished sucking you off in the store room instead of coming up here to fuck?”

“Well, you could have.”

“Uh huh,” Pinkie said. “And would I have sucked off your dick while it was still limp, so we could go a second round?”

“Well, maybe not,” Mr. Cake said.

“And would I let you stick it up my ass if I didn’t want you to stick it up my ass?”

“Well... no,” Mr. Cake said.

“Mmhmm. And ass to mouth?”

“OK, Pinkie,” Mr. Cake said. “I believe you.”

“Well, great,” Pinkie said. “But what’s really going to blow your noodle is when I tell you that you can go ahead and from now on, you can take me whenever you want, wherever you want, however you want. Forever. Mrs. Cake turns her back? I’ll do you right there. That’s how much I mean it, Mr. Cake.”

Mr. Cake’s mouth hung open. He was speechless.

“Oh, you know what?” Pinkie asked. “It’s starting to get late.” She got up off the bed and stretched. “I think I’m going to go up to my room and take a shower. I’ve got to feed Gummy. Mrs. Cake should be home in another hour or so anyway. Alright, Mr. Cake, I’ll see you later. You know where I’ll be. Bye bye!”

She closed the door behind herself. Mr. Cake could feel himself getting hard again.

An hour later, Mr. Cake was wiping down the counters in the shop. He had a huge smile on his face, ear to ear. The bell above the door rang as Mrs. Cake returned from her evening out.

“What are you smiling about?” she badgered him.

“Oh, there’s no reason,” he smiled.

“Uh huh. Yeah, right. You never smile. What are you up to?” she asked.

“Oh, nothing,” he said.

She glared at him. She let out a big huffy sigh, and went up to their room.

Mr. Cake continued to smile.

“Man, I’m bored,” Snails said.

“Hey,” smirked Snips. “You know who else is getting bored right now?”

“Who?”

“Your mom,” Snips replied. Twist giggled. “Get it, dude? Bored? Like, by a drill?”

“Pff, that’s lame,” Snails rolled his eyes. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

“No way,” Twist said.

“Ah, c’mon,” Snips said. “We just got here. Can’t leave now. We have to get... hey, hey. Here comes someone. Dude, go for it. You got to do it.” Snips nudged Snails in the direction of the approaching pony.

“Why do I gotta do it?” Snails protested.

“Do it. Just do it,” Snips hissed under his breath so he wouldn’t be overheard.

Snails shot him a dirty look, then stepped off of the road and under the awning of the Ponyville Liquor Store, directly into the path of a patron. “Um, excuse me?” he asked awkwardly.

“Yeah?” the pony asked.

“Um, I was wonder if you could do us a favor.”

“What do you want, kid?”

“Could you... um... by us some beer.”

The pony laughed. “Are you kidding? Do I look stupid? Out of my way.” The pony shoved Snails aside and entered the store, shaking his head. Snails stepped backwards, into the road, to join his friends again.

“That guy’s just a dick,” Snips said.

“This is stupid,” Snails said.

“No, it will work. You’ve just got to strike up a conversation first. You can’t just go up and ask someone to buy you beer, dummy.”

“Well, then why don’t you ask next time, eh?”

“Because you’re the best at smooth talking,” Snips said in a high pitched squeal.

“So then why are you telling me how to do it?” Snails was getting angry.

“Calm down, Snails. Calm down and... hey, here comes somebody else. Go for it. Go.”

Snails turned around and walked back towards the store front. There was a dark blue unicorn approaching. He had a lit cigarette hanging between his lips. “Sup,” Snails nodded at him.

“Hey, kid,” the unicorn nodded back. “What’s up?”

“Yeah, I was wondering...”

“Yeah?”

“Um... hey, do you think I could bum a smoke off of you?”

“Huh?” the pony said. “Oh, sure, hang on.” The pony craned his head back to his saddlebags and used his magic to pull out an opened pack of cigarettes. “Wait a minute...,” he turned skeptically back to Snails. “Are you even old enough to smoke?”

“Sure. Yeah,” Snails said, as calmly and maturely as possible. “I just left my smokes back at my, um, apartment.”

The unicorn shrugged and took Snails at his word. He levitated a single cigarette over for Snails to snatch from the air with his mouth. He looked in surprise as Snails tried to light it. His little horn was glowing, struggling to cast a simple spell.

“Hey, kid,” the unicorn said.

Snails was focused intently on the tip of the cigarette sticking out of his mouth.

“Hey, kid,” the unicorn repeated.

Snails didn’t even notice.

“Stop, stop, stop,” the unicorn levitated the cigarette out of Snails’ mouth.

“Huh?”

“You had it backwards, goofball. You were trying to light the filter.”

“Oh.”

“Obviously, you don’t smoke. So what is it that you really wa... oh, wait a minute.” The unicorn looked over at Snips and Twist waiting in the road, then he turned back to Snails with a grin. “You’re trying to ask me to by you some booze, aren’t you?”

“No way,” Snails said. “Um. Just maybe some beer, eh?”

The unicorn laughed. “You know, I remember a time when I was in your horseshoes. Asking adults to buy me cigs and booze.”

“So you’ll buy us some beer? I got enough bits for a twelve pack.”

The unicorn laughed again. “Sorry, kid. I’m not going to get in trouble for you. Best of luck though, I mean that.” The unicorn turned and walked into the store.

Once more, Snails returned to his best and only friends, his head hanging low. “I think that guy’s a bit of a hypocrite, eh?” he said. Snips burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“You were trying to light the filter!” Snips finally said once he was able to breathe again.

“Ha, ha, very funny,” Snails said, upset. Twist giggled. Snails turned to her, now cross with her. “So why don’t you ask somebody if it’s so easy.”

The smile dropped from Twist’s face. “You know I don’t like to do that. People get mad at me because of my lithp.” She was hurt that Snails even had to ask.

“Oh, yeah,” Snails hung his head down again, ashamed for getting mad at his girlfriend. “Sorry.” He looked up, and there was another patron approaching the liquor store. She was an older mare. Very round and chubby for a pony. She had a blue coat and a bright pink mane done up way above her head. Snails felt the chance to make it up to his friends. “Hang on, guys, I’ll go get us some beer.” He cantered over to the prim looking mare.

“Excuse me, ma’am?”

“What? What? What?” Mrs. Cake was startled. She hadn’t been expecting to be accosted by some scrawny, ugly little colt. “What on earth do you want?” She placed the emphasis on “you,” as if here were some kind of animal.

“Um... I.. Uh... I was wondering... um...”

“Yes? Yes? Well, spit it out. I haven’t got all day. What do you want?”

“Could you buy us some beer? I could give you the money.”

Mrs. Cake was speechless for a moment. “Oh!” she spat out. She looked him up and down, ear to hoof. “Oh!” She shook her head and rushed herself into the store.
Snails turned back to his friends, feeling worse than ever.

The bell chimed as Mrs. Cake walked through the door. She was still shaking her head and frowning, trying to get the image of that obnoxious colt out of her mind. It had already dislodged the thought of her wretched, no-good husband. Now she turned to thoughts of her book club. That was the reason she was here in the first place. They didn’t so much talk about books as get very drunk and gossip all evening. She turned down an aisle.

The shop wasn’t so much a liquor store as it was a convenience store that happened to sell a lot of booze. There were snacks, beverages of all sorts, cigarettes, prophylactics, and the like. Mrs. Cake headed straight for the booze.

She grabbed a fifth of vodka. That would be for the club meeting. She grabbed a bottle of rum, that would be for herself, unless the meeting got a little out of hand, in which case she would share. She stopped, again, in the scotch and whiskey section. There was a bottle on the shelf. It was a very nice bottle. Mrs. Cake couldn’t take her eyes off of it. It was very, very expensive. It must have been very good, otherwise it wouldn’t be so expensive. Just looking at it made her mouth water. She thought about the price. Her husband gave her all the money he had. It wasn’t very much, but it was more than enough to splurge once in a while. Mrs. Cake put it into her shopping basket. She certainly wouldn’t be sharing any of it.

There was a long line for the cashier. Mrs. Cake only grew more annoyed and impatient. She had somewhere to be, and these other ponies were only getting in her way. Finally, it was her turn and she placed her selections on the counter with a huff.

“Did you know,” she said before he had a chance to ring her up, “that there are several foals outside your store, soliciting your patrons to by them beer?” There were several groans from the line behind her. They had all seen Snails asking, they had all turned him down, but none of them had been heartless enough to rat them out.

“Dangit,” the clerk said. “Them again? I shoo them away, and they just keep coming back.”

“Oh, you’re familiar with them?”

“Sure,” he said. “Caught the skinny one and the white filly foolin’ around in the alley last week.”

“You don’t say!” Mrs. Cake was scandalized. “You mean in... that way?” The clerk nodded. “I don’t believe the impropriety of foals these days! What’s gotten into them? We certainly didn’t act like this when I was a foal.”

“Ha, well, I don’t know if I’d go that far. I remember when I was that age. Hormones raging. I got into trouble now and then. Didn’t everypony?”

“Well, I certainly don’t remember anything like that!” Mrs. Cake claimed. This forced the clerk into silence and he rang her up. He helped Mrs. Cake load the merchandise into her saddlebags.

“Would you like my to chase away those foals, ma’am?”

“No, no, no. I see you have quite a line behind me. Best to deal with your other customers first. I’m sure those foals will get bored soon enough. Good day.” Mrs. Cake left the liquor store.

As she walked under the chiming bell, her mind was filled with unexpected thoughts. Thoughts of teenagers with raging hormones. Satiating their desires by rutting like animals in open alleyways. Right there in public for anybody to watch or catch them. Their healthy, young bodies grinding against each other as they sweated and grunted. With no cares in the world but to fornicate and ejaculate and rub their tongues across the hot genitals of their partners. Nothing at all like the joyless marriage bed of an aging, unhappy middle aged couple.

Mrs. Cake stopped in her tracks, feeling sensations, both physical and emotional, that she hadn’t felt in years. She turned and saw the foals, still standing around and loitering. “Oh, excuse me!” she called out. Their three heads turned and stared blankly. “You! Young sir?” Snails pointed a hoof at himself. “Yes, you! Could you come over here please? There’s something I want to talk to you about!”

Snails looked at Twist. He looked at Snips. He nervously started walking over.

Twist and Snips looked at each other, worried, and returned their gaze to Snails chatting with the old mare.

“What do you think she wanth?” Twist asked.

“I don’t know,” Snips squeaked.

“Do you think she’ll call the copth?” Twist asked.

“Nah. She wouldn’t be talking if she was gonna.”

“Maybe she’ll call our parenth?”

“I don’t think so.” They waited and watched some more. “Maybe she’s really going to buy us some beer,” Snips said.

“But then why are they taking tho long to talk?” Twist asked.

“Dunno,” Snips said. There was a pause. Snips smiled. “Maybe she wants to come out and get drunk with us.”

Twist giggled. “Maybe she’s really lonely and wanth to hang out with foalth tho she feelth young again.”

Snips snorted. “Yeah, yeah, and... and maybe she wants Snails for his body.”

Both Snips and Twist burst out laughing. They were still trying to choke back their tears when Snails returned to them. They hadn’t noticed that Mrs. Cake had disappeared behind the store and into the alley, or that Snails himself had turned pale, bordering on green.

“So, what’s up?” Snips asked. “Is she going to buy us some beer or isn’t she?”

“Dude...” Snails said.

“Yeah? What’s wrong?’

“Dude, she said she’d buy is beer if I...”

“Yeah?”

“If I let her suck my dick in the alley behind the store,” Snails said.

Snips nearly doubled over from laughing so hard. “No fucking way!”

“Hey! Shut up!”

“Is she, like, a psycho or something?” Snips asked.

“I think she’s just old and real lonely,” Snails said.

“Hey, you know who else is old and lonely and blows colts in alleyways?”

“Shut up, Snips.”

“Wow,” Snips said. “We all get beer and you get a blowjob. It’s our lucky day.”

“No way!” Snails said. “I’m not going to do it.

“Are you kidding?” Snips asked, suddenly serious. “She said she’d buy us beer. Nobody else is going to do it.”

“Dude, no way. I’ve got a girlfriend!”

“I don’t mind,” Twist said.

“Huh?” both of the colts said at once as they turned to her.

“I mean, ith not like you love her or even like her or anything, right?” Twist asked. Snails shook his head. “Tho ith not like ith really cheating. And ith not like you have to enjoy it.”

“I don’t know if I’d be able to help myself,” Snails said.

“Well, OK. But you wouldn’t really mean it though, right? Tho I wouldn’t really mind. And you could think of me inthtead. Thanilth, ith OK. I never tried alcohol before. I really, really want to try it.”

“Are you sure?” Snails had never been more confused.

“I’m pothitive.”

Snails looked back and forth at his peers. They were both nodding their heads in encouragement. Snails took one step backwards, then another. He turned, took a big gulp, and walked behind the liquor store and into the alley.

“Oh, there you are,” Mrs. Cake said when he turned the corner. “I can’t just wait around for you all day, you know.”

“Um...”

Mrs. Cake pulled a large, flattened cardboard box from out of the recycling bin, and laid it on the ground between the bin and the dumpster, out of view of most passersby. “There,” she said. “Lay down on that.”

“Um...”

“C’mon, c’mon. I’m in a hurry. I don’t want to be late, and I don’t want any questions.” Snails laid down on the outstretched piece of cardboard and rolled over onto his back. His long, awkward, gangly legs stuck up into the air. Ever since Mrs. Cake had first asked him, he had been a confused, nervous wreck. He had been worried he wouldn’t be able to perform. He had never been attracted to older mares before. He thought he was going to make a fool out of himself. Luckily, for Mrs. Cake, Snails was not in total control of his own body. The hormones that were racing through his rushing bloodstream were taking over. His penis was already semi-erect by the time he had rolled over onto his back.

Mrs. Cake’s eyes popped. “Oh, my!” she said as she watched. His pink-skinned shaft was already exceptionally wide as it was sliding out from his orange sheath. It was sticking up in the air, standing tall although wobbling to one side as it was still only half erect. Mrs. Cake gingerly rubbed it with her hoof. It only continued to grow. “Oh, my!” she repeated, “it’s even bigger than my husband’s!” Mrs. Cake squeezed it a bit; it was still soft. It just kept growing. Mrs. Cake couldn’t believe it. By the time it stood up straight up and firm, it was easily the biggest cock she had ever seen on a stallion. It was totally out of proportion to the colt’s frame. What little portion of her brain continued to function correctly wondered about what the colt must have been eating to grow so big. She wondered if the poor thing even knew how to use it properly. She wondered if he knew what kind of gift he had been given.

Those thoughts vanished. Her lips mouthed the words “oh, my” but she didn’t speak them out loud. Instead, she took his enormous dick into her mouth and started to suck.

Snails laid his head back on the ground and shut his eyes tight. His conscience said no, but his body said yes. Twist had told him to think of her, so that’s what he tried to do. He tried to think it was the inside of her sucking cheeks that were sliding up and down his shaft. It was her tongue that was tickling around the tip of his head. It was her nose pushing up into his nutsack; and her lips pulling first one ball and then the other into her mouth.

It was a difficult illusion to force. Twist had never been anything like this. It was simply a matter of experience. Mrs. Cake knew exactly what to do and when to do it. Snails opened his eyes and looked down. The illusion was shattered. There was no way he could maintain the image as he watched his stiff pink cock disappearing in and out of Mrs. Cake’s round blue face.

Snails hadn’t been attracted to Mrs. Cake before, but now things were different. She had crowsfeet in the corners of her eyes, with the hint of bags underneath. She had a double chin. There were gray hairs in among the pink. Somehow, that didn’t seem to matter. The age seemed to melt away. She looked beautiful to Snails as she fellated him, her lips pressing around his rod. She almost seemed to glow with a radiance that accentuated her practiced skills, and the basic fact that she was hungry for his cock. There was just something about seeing your own cock deep inside a mare’s mouth that made her the most beautiful mare in the world.

Mrs. Cake couldn’t even fit the whole thing down her throat. That didn’t stop her from trying. She greedily sucked the thing down, making an excess of slurping and gulping and choking noises. She had never wanted a cock more than she did now, even when she had been young herself. Her heart was pounding, almost painfully, in her chest. She wanted to lick and tickle and devour every wrinkle and vein on the young colt’s dick. He seemed so young. It must mean he was naive, and virile. It likely meant he had a hair trigger, and was ready to explode his hot seed into her mouth. Mrs. Cake wanted to taste it, to feel the hot gooey mass sliding down her throat. She wanted to choke on it, and have it bubble out of her nose. Run down from the corners of her lips and down her chest. No. If he was going to be fast, Mrs. Cake had a better idea.

She loudly slurped once more back up to his head, then let it go with a wet pop. She stuck her muzzle down to the spot where his balls met his dick, then broadly licked up the entire length of his dick. “Mmm,” she said. “OK, get up.”

“Huh?”

“Get up, get up,” she said. She turned around, lifted her pink tail, and presented her wet pink pussy to him. “I need that thing inside of me. That’s a national treasure you’re packing there.”

“What?” Snails said, surprised.

“Fuck me, you imbecile. Fuck me hard, like you do that little white filly friend of yours.”

“No way. That wasn’t part of the deal. You said you’d buy me beer if I let you suck me off. You didn’t say anything about fucking.”

“Oh, for crying out loud. I’m changing the deal. Don’t you realize you’re the one coming out on top here? Now, hop up on my back like a good little colt. You do know how to, don’t you?”

Snails hesitated. He hadn’t agreed to this. Twist hadn’t agreed to this. Mrs. Cake was shoving her large rump back into his face. He could smell her pussy. If he stuck out his tongue, he would have tasted it.

“But, but you’re married you said.”

“Yes, but he can’t satisfy me. Not like you can. You don’t even know how well hung you are, do you?” Mrs. Cake told him. “Go ahead. Stick it in. I know you want to. If you don’t, you can forget any beer.”

Snails had enough. He hopped up and pressed his weight onto Mrs. Cake’s back. It wasn’t out of lust, but a mix of other emotions. Anger. Intimidation. Mrs. Cake let out a gasp as she felt his weight. She was so soft.

Snails pressed his head up against her warm, wet, lips, then he shoved it in hard. Snails had only been with one other mare before, and Mrs. Cake wasn’t anything like his previous lover. There wasn’t any wincing, or tightness, or carefully easing it. His cock just went sliding right in, all the way to the base. Snails practically fell into Mrs. Cake. Snails paused there for a moment, feeling how smooth and soft and wet her pussy felt around the length of his dick.

Mrs. Cake’s eyes bulged out of her skull. She had never known anything like this either. She had never been filled so deep before. Mr. Cake was nothing like this. It wasn’t even the size of the massive thing either, but the rock-like hardness of it. On the few occasions when he and Mrs. Cake had sex these days, it took some effort for him to get it up. And even once in, it didn’t even feel right. But Snails? Mrs. Cake wondered if she would even be able to bend her back, if the steel log that was impaling her from behind would even allow it.

Snails pumped his hips into Mrs. Cake’s ass. Once more he shut his eyes and tried to think of Twist. Again, it was impossible. Even this was too different. Mrs. Cake’s ass was too big and fat, it felt like fucking a large pillow that happened to have a big, sloppy, wet pussy. Snails’ hips were making a muffled “thwap thwap” sound as he pounded into her. Her whole body jiggled with each thrust. He opened his eyes and watched her big poofy mane bouncing up and down. She was grunting with every stroke.

“Oh, fuck me hard, you little shit,” she groaned. “Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Fuck me like my husband never can. Fuck me like you fuck that little white slut of yours.”

Snails pounded into her as hard as he could. He was angry. He wanted to shut her up. He wanted to hurt her, spear her through with his cock. Instead, she only squealed in delight. She was able to take all of it.

“Cum on my back,” she squealed. “I want your hot, sticky white cum all over my back. Make a big mess. Fuck me. Fuck me. I want to be covered with your cum. I want to go home with my coat all sticky and matted. I want my husband to know that I got fucked hard by your big young cock. Oh, fuck me. Fuck me, dammit.”

Snails couldn’t give her any more. She was impossible to satisfy. Mentally, he wasn’t enjoying himself, but his cock had its own ideas. He felt close to orgasm, despite himself. He concentrated, just hoping to finish and cum on her back exactly like she wanted. Then it would be over, and Mrs. Cake would give him her end of the bargain. It would only be a few more seconds, but Snails was interrupted.

“Stick it in my ass,” Mrs. Cake ordered.

“Wha?” Snails asked, his concentration broken, his orgasm fading away before it could get started.

“I said I want it in my ass, dolt,” Mrs. Cake took a couple steps forward and Snails’ dick was dragged out. Mrs. Cake stopped but his boner was still more than half way inside. She took a few more steps until his cock fell out of her. A long streamer of pussy fluid splashed off the end of it. It would have hit the ground if it wasn’t so firmly erect that it swung back up. Mrs. Cake raised her pink tail even higher, giving him a view of her dark blue asshole. “Go on, I’m waiting.”

“But I never said I’d do that,” Snails protested.

“Oh, don’t give me that shit,” Mrs. Cake told him. “I don’t even let my husband stick it in my butt. You should feel privileged.”

“No way! That’s gross!”

“Listen,” she craned her head back to look at him, but kept her ass right in his face. “If you don’t stick it in my ass, not only will I not buy you beer, I’ll call the police. I’ll tell them you tried to ask me. Maybe I’ll even tell them you raped me when I said I wouldn’t. Oh, don’t give me that look. Who do you think they’re going to believe? A mature, upstanding citizen like myself? Or a juvenile delinquent punk like you? Now hurry up. Give momma what she wants, before you regret it.” Mrs. Cake turned her head away in a huff. She swished her tail back and forth to let him know that she was waiting.

Snails hopped back up on her back, even angrier than before. His heavy cock swung around, and he had trouble finding her anus. After several awkward seconds, his head found the sweet spot, and he pushed. His dick was still slippery from her wetness, and the pre-cum that it hadn’t stopped oozing since the blowjob, but it didn’t go in.

“Mmm,” she sighed.

“It won’t go in,” he said.

“Well, spit on it or something,” she snapped at him. “Make it wet. Damn.” Snails spat on it. He pushed harder. It started to squeak its way in. “Oh! Oh! Oh!” Mrs. Cake moaned. “Oooooohhhh!”

With a series of little thrusts, and plenty of spit, Snails was eventually able to squeeze almost the whole thing in. Mrs. Cake’s ass was beginning to loosen. Snails started to pump, very slowly at first. Mrs. Cake’s little muscular sphincter was still tight around his dick. Comfortably tight. As he started to work faster and faster, Snails was beginning to feel aroused again. He was close to orgasm again. He started to fuck her hard. He could feel his nuts slapping up against her dripping pussy. He was wondering if he was hurting her, so he fucked her harder still.

“Oooooh,” she groaned. “That’s right. Just like that. Oh, it’s so good. Fuck me just like that.”

A few more seconds, and Snails would cum on her back. He’d be done. Then the pleasure started to fade. Mrs. Cake’s ass was still getting looser. Distressingly loose. “God damn, you’re so big, you little shit. Fuck that ass. Fuck that ass.” Snails was beginning to worry he’d never be able to finish. “Oh, pound me rotten. I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum. Fuck me so hard I can’t even walk. Fuck me so hard I can’t even talk, like that little retarded girlfriend of yours.”

Snails raised his shod front hoof into the air as high he could reach. He brought it back down as hard as he could onto the back of Mrs. Cake’s head. Mrs. Cake finally shut up. She blacked out. Mrs. Cake collapsed and Snails landed on top of her, still fucking her ass. Mrs. Cake’s body started to spasm, her anus clenched tightly once more around Snails’ cock. It was tight enough. Snails pumped the full length of it into her twitching body three more times, and finally blew his load in her ass. He screamed out loud, it felt so good.

Snails pulled it out and stood up, panting in over-exertion. He looked down at her. “Wha?” she said, starting to come out of it. “Wha jus happen?” He saw his white cum oozing out of her gaping asshole. She saw her broad, blue back; it was blank as he hadn’t cummed where she wanted it. Snails made a deep throaty noise, then hawked a lougie right onto the center of her back. He used his hoof to smear the sticky white goo all over her coat.

“There you go, bitch,” he said. “Just the way you wanted it.” He walked over to her saddle bags and started rifling through them. “Now where’s my beer?”

“What did... what did... hey, those are my bags...” Mrs. Cake struggled for a lucid thought. She was able to stand up, but she was very wobbly. “Those are my things...”

“Hey,” a new male voice came from around the corner alley. “What’s going on back here?” Both Mrs. Cake and Snails turned their heads look. It was the cashier coming out, expecting to shoo off some kids. He hadn’t expected to see an obviously well-fucked Mrs. Cake, both her pussy and ass still gaping and dripping cum. Or Snails, his flaccid dripping cock still swinging down below him. “What the fuck?” he shouted.

“Boy,” Twist said. “They sure are taking a long time.”

“Yeah, heh,” laughed Snips. “I wonder what they’re doing.”

“She better not be doing anything more that thucking,” Twist said. “I’ll kick her ath.”

“Maybe she’s some kind of vampire, and she’s sucking out all his blood.”

“Maybe sheth religiouth and sheth trying to prothelytize.”

“Maybe he’s showing her all his magic tricks,” Snips laughed.

“OK, now I feel thorry for her,” Twist said. They both laughed.

Then they saw the cashier come out of the store through the side door, and walk back around to the alley. “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” Snips said.

They both heard him shout “what the fuck?” from behind the store. Then they saw Snails run out from the other end of the alley. His eyes were wild. His flaccid dick was still swinging. He had a leather strap in his mouth, with saddlebags on either end. They could hear glass bottles clinking. His mouth couldn’t speak, but his eyes screamed “run!”

They turned, and all three ran off together. They didn’t see, but they could hear, Mrs. Cake clumsily running from out behind the store and after them. “Stop!” she screamed. “Stop! That’s not for you! That’s not beer! That’s thirty year old scotch! That cost me a hundred and eighty bits!” The young foals easily outran Mrs. Cake, and she knew she would never catch them. Still, she screamed. “You’re as bad as my husbaaaaaaaa....”