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Clueless in Equestria

by David Silver

Chapter 8: 8 - The Train goes Choo Choo

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Rough Draft trotted up to the counter where a bored looking earth pony sat behind the bars. "Can I have two to Manehatten please?"

Barely looking up, the attendant said in a voice equally as bored sounding, "Pets are tagged as luggage, not as passengers."

Rough clopped a hoof on the counter, "You're not looking very hard. This is my friend and partner, not a pet."

David stayed quiet during the exchange, watching the two ponies. "We don't offer discounts for service animals, trained or not," said the attendant.

David decided to speak up then, "I'm not really an animal, not like that anyway. Can we get some tickets?"

The attendant looked up at David, "Huh. Some kind of shaved diamond dog?" He was already producing the tickets and collecting the bits, his attention span refusing to focus for any longer. "Just don't make a mess. The jewelry's fake anyway." He turned away and resumed his attention on a book propped up on the counter, seeming to instantly forget the other two were there.

Rough passed a ticket to David before claiming the other, "Thanks." He only got a grunt in reply from the attendant, but they were moving up onto the next platform beside the rails. Rough stopped next to a hanging schedule and looked between it and a hanging clock, "Looks like we have fifteen minutes. Not bad timing with it coming once an hour."

"I usually get it on time or just after," agreed David. He moved to a bench and parked himself on it casually, "Been meaning to ask, do you ponies have computers?"

Rough hopped up beside him and sat down on his haunches, "What's that?"

"Only what I spent most of my days messing with before," replied David. "Think of it like a combination of a typewriter, a postal service, a constantly updated encyclopedia and an arcade machine with new games every week or so."

Rough's eyes went wide, "That sounds beyond belief! Is it magic?"

David shook his head, "Electricity, like a light bulb."

Rough snorted as he rolled a hoof, "No lightbulbs do half of what you're saying. Clever fingers must make for clever minds."

David fished out the ball that held his desk still, "I brought one with me, but I can only unpack it once."

Rough leaned over then, peering into the milky depths of the ball, desk contained visibly, "What is that now?" He leaned in and bumped his nose against it, trying to squint at the tiny things on the desk. "Who gave this to you?"

"Heck if I know," said David with a shrug, "It's cool though. The desk itself is heavy, and all that stuff on it is heavier, so I don't want to pop it open until I'm sure. Some... god? gave it to me, in a dark place."

Rough jerked back, "God? We only have two of those around here and they don't even like being called gods. Which one?"

David stuffed the ball away as he replied, "I just told you, I have no idea. They were just floating letters. It could have been anyone, or pony. They asked where I wanted to go, and I said here, to Equestria, and they asked what I wanted to bring, and the desk became it."

Rough shook his head then, "That's kind of odd. Do you think it was Discord? He'd do something like that."

As if on cue, the train pulled into the station with a whistle. They both got up from the bench and moved to board. Only one pony got off, a pegasus mare. She tilted her head at the two of them, but then took off quickly in the direction of the town. The conductor looked over their tickets before waving them aboard, having much less to say about David than the attendant did.

"Not surprising," said Rough once they were inside and moving for their seats, "If we have tickets, we're good. Unless you tried to bite him or something. But you wouldn't do that, right?"

"Only if you asked nicely," replied David in a joking tone before finding his new seat. It was cushy and comfortable as it had looked in the show. It was a little low to the floor, but this could be lived with. "Say, how much demand is there for role playing games in Equestria?"

"More than I'd bet you're thinking," said Rough as he hopped up beside. "After all, just like our world is exotic to you, it's common day to us. Besides, nopony wants to go out on real adventures where they could get hurt or killed when they could play some pretend with some friends."

"Besides you," pointed out David.

"Uh, besides me," admitted Rough, "But come on! My OC is right here next to me, and he even has super powers."

David rolled his eyes as the train began to move. He leaned back in his chair, "I don't have super powers. A burst of adrenaline is barely qualified as normal, let alone super. I bet you're stronger than I am."

Rough raised a hoof, "One way to find out."

David peered at the hoof a moment, "What, arm wrestle?"

Rough bobbed his head, "Sure, what's the harm?"

David stood up and slid around the table between the two sofa like benches. Putting up his arm, Rough met it eagerly, wrapping his fetlock around David's arm. "Huh, I'm used to holding hands."

"I'll let you know when I get one of those," said Rough in a light hearted tone, "On three. One, two... Three"

They began to push against one another. David began to immediately regret not working out on a more reliable basis as Rough Draft pushed his arm down inch by inch despite trying to the last to gain some ground. Thump. David rubbed his then sore arm, "See, no super powers."

"Don't be sad," said Rough Draft, "Winning an arm wrestling contest against an earth pony's a mighty task, even for a writer like me. You did good."

The car they were in was relatively empty, though a few other ponies were present. Of those, two were watching the pair curiously. One of them, a unicorn mare with a mane styled enough to rival Rarity, rose and approached their booth. She had light cream fur and a bold red mane. Emblazoned on her flanks were a smiling face and a frowning face interposed. An actor maybe? "I say. That is a fantastic creature you have there. I've never seen the like. So well mannered too. Does he have a name?" Her voice was dripping with refinement and clearly female.

Rough got nervous instantly, "Oh uh, his name's Dave," he muttered, shuffling in place.

"Nice to meet you," said David for himself. "What's your name? Ah, and this is Rough Draft."

"Charmed I'm sure," she replied, offering up a crooked hoof. "I can't place your accent dear. Are you from Equestria?"

The hoof looked like she was waiting for something. He hadn't done it for a woman before, but when in pony land... He took the hoof and kissed the back of it lightly before letting it go. "I'm from abroad."

The mare looked uncertain how to react, looking between the human and the stallion seated before her. "Where are you headed, if I may be so bold?"

"Manehatten," replied David, glancing across at the tongue tied Rough.

"Oh really!" she exclaimed, "I as well. You simply must come visit. My friends won't believe me without seeing you for themselves. You'll be the hit of the gathering, I assure." A card floated free of a pouch she was wearing and landed lightly on the table. "You can find me there. Please do come."

David took the little business card as he nodded, "If it's alright with Rough here."

"He can come along as well," she said as if the thought hadn't come to her at first. "I wouldn't want to separate you from your guide, dear. Be safe now, ta ta." She turned around and returned to her seat with a sway in her hips.

When she got far enough way, Rough seemed to melt from the ice statue he had become. "David!" he whispered harshly, "Do you know who you were just talking to?"

David shook his head, "I don't recognize her."

Rough put his hooves on the table, his eyes wide, "You know Twilight Sparkle, and the princesses, and all kinds of things, but you don't know her? She's practically a city star! Nopony who lives in Manehatten doesn't know Nicole Foalman!"

David shrugged in reply, "So she's famous. I didn't much care about famous people in my world either. I met a famous author once and just gave him my book like any other potential customer."

Rough heaved out a sigh, head sinking to the table, "Well that's nice, but now she'll want us both to be there. Are you ready for that?"

"I don't plan to act any different," said David, "Though maybe we could get some nice clothes first?"

Rough nodded, "You think? I'll... want some too. I can't show up with just a saddlebag. That would be too embarrassing."

David took a moment to examine the card he had been given. Nicole Foalman, actress, producer, etc etc. There was a number scrawled on it. Did ponies have phones? He could also spot what appeared to be an address. "She seemed nice enough. Let's just go and have a good time. They'll probably have free food and an interesting pony or two to meet."

Rough waved a hoof limply, "And a bunch of ponies to stare at you like a sideshow attraction."

David shrugged, "If I was going to get squeamish about that, I wouldn't have come to Equestria. Besides, I got plenty of stares back home from fellow human beings."

Rough picked his head up off the table, "What do you mean? You look pretty normal for a human, least as far as I know. Are you missing parts?"

David snorted at that, "Nah, got all the bits and bobs. Now this is going to sound stupid as hell."

Rough sat up straight, "Lay it on me."

David rolls a hand lightly, "Well, not having distinct breeds like unicorn or pegasus, we went with dividing humans up based on their apparent place of origin, their nationality. I'm a bit of a mutt, with my father being a light skinned man and my mother being a dark skinned woman. But, as you can see, I got more of the dark side, so most people lump me into that category."

Rough slowly nodded, "Alright? That sounds silly. Imagine if they grouped up blue ponies or brown ones, as if they'd have anything else in common."

David nodded, "Yea, easy to say that from the outside looking in, but that's the way it was, and, just my luck, people tend to get nervous around dark skinned people. They assume we're up to trouble more often than any light skinned person doing the same thing or wearing the same clothes."

Rough tapped at his chin, "I didn't think ethnicities were such a powerful force." He pulled out a parchment and was soon scribbling on it with a quill in his snout, busily making notes about how he could adjust Humanway with this new found knowledge. "I could make a whole new book with this. Colors of Terra! I bet ponies'd eat it up."

"How do you talk with a quill in your mouth?" asked David with a raised brow, "That looks almost impossible."

Rough shrugged and continued his writing, "Practice I guess."

Author's Notes:

And suddenly, new ponies! They are well on their way to adventure now.

Love it, hate it? Let me know in the comments below.

Next Chapter: 9 - Arrival in Manehattan Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 24 Minutes
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