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Clueless in Equestria

by David Silver

Chapter 12: 12 - Green with Envy

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Nicole reached over to Rough Draft, running a hoof gently over his cheek, "Why don't you be a darling," she asked as she reverted to her usual light fur colors, "And go see what is taking dinner so long? The kitchen's on the third floor."

Rough nodded quickly, looking flustered. He rose up and started for the door to have his saddlebag's strap grabbed by David on the way past. He looked up at David who was shaking his head in a way both subtle and yet obvious. "What's wrong, Dave?"

"Oh, why don't I go with you?" suggests David with a forced smile.

Nicole shook her head in turn, "Don't be ridiculous. It doesn't take two ponies to yell at the help. Now go on, go." She waved Rough off and the traitor trotted off with a confused expression. Once he was out of sight and the door closed behind him, she set her eyes on David, "Am I that frightening?"

Opting for honesty, David nodded, "Yes. No offense or anything. I'm hoping you believe me when I say that I don't mind what I think you are, but I don't want to be kidnapped or killed."

Nicole leaned one of her ears forward as the other skewed to the side, "And whatever do you think I am, hmm?" She reached over and set a hoof on one of David's crossed legs, "Are you going to scream?"

"I'm not big on screaming," replied David, glancing around for possible escape routes, "My guess is change--"

He couldn't finish the word as Nicole pushed him over backwards. His head smacked against a stiff cushion painfully but without any significant injury. Soon she was on top of him, looking into his eyes as she settled to pin him, "What does that tell you?"

David reached up, his arms unpinned, and gently pet the agitated, yet intrigued, mare on top of him. "That you could be very cool to know, or very dangerous, and I'm still trying to figure which it is."

She grinned, her teeth noticeably sharper than it had been before, "Astute, but most ponies don't know about it. What do you know, and how?" She made no objection to his wandering hands, even relaxing under the gentle petting.

Being forthright was working so far, so David went ahead with it, "You feed on affection, love specifically. You can shapeshift into any pony, and you have a queen." He counted these off with taps on her back. If she was an insect, the fur was very convincing, "Oh, and your normal form has a shell instead of a pelt."

Nicole snorted half way through his statement but allowed him to finish before she nodded, "There was one that thought she could declare herself queen, and she got banished for her trouble." She put a hoof over David's mouth. Though he could speak around it, the hint was clear. "The rest of us live on our own, by and large. We're not that different, curious creature. We don't want trouble. I get more than enough affection serving as an actor, and I can do good things. Is that bad?"

David quickly shook his head. When her hoof withdrew he said, "No, man, that's really good even." He reached up higher and scratched her behind an ear, "You're a good person, pony, or whatever."

Nicole stepped off David then, "That's nice of you to say, but why should I believe any of it? You're probably biding your time until you're out of this building, then you'll rush for the nearest guard. Where will I be then?" She sat beside him and brought her glass to her, wrapped in her blue magic, and sipped from it gently.

David sat up and reached for her, but she shied away from further contact. "I don't have much to offer for absolute proof, but I came here to meet interesting people, see amazing things. You qualify for both. I wouldn't mess with you. Besides, what are you even doing wrong?"

She smiled gently, "I wish I could believe that." Her horn flashed green, and the world went dark for David, consciousness fleeing him. The door swung open as several drones approached cautiously. "Be gentle with him. He may yet be helpful to us. Was his babysitter any trouble?"

One of the drones shook his head quickly, "No, my queen. He was easily subdued."

She cuffed the drone gently, "Don't call me that. I'm not a queen."

The drones shrunk back under her momentary anger before moving up to collect David. They hefted his slumbering form onto their backs and scurried from the room, leaving Nicole behind.


Into the tumult of David's dreams, a then familiar presence pushed in on it. As David punched a cartoon character in the nose, Luna slipped in beside him. Her immediate proximity made the dream shift, and they were seated in a gazebo under an enchanting night sky.

David only seemed to notice her then, "Luna! I wasn't expecting you again after so long."

Luna gave a light half smile and nodded, "We meet again, strange dreamer. You have a familiar edge to your dreams and it sets my instincts on fire. What transpires?"

David looked around the quiet clearing that the gazebo rested in, "Looks normal around here." With a soft glow of Luna's horn, full lucidity returned to David, "Shit."

"Indeed," said Luna. "You stink of changeling magic."

"That's a bit convenient. How did you notice that?" asked David, "Not that I mind too much."

Luna tilted her head faintly, "I have been watching you, human. It would be irresponsible to not pay you some mind. Your manner has been honorable thus far."

David wobbled a hand at Luna, "Why don't you do that with bad guys?"

Luna raised her brows, "Who says I do not?" At David's skeptical expression she continued, "Those whose dreams fall too far from harmony can be difficult to reach. Your own slumber is troubling, but not too far. I did not come this evening to speak of your past, but of your present. Tell me."

David considered his words carefully, "I ran into one, but I'm not sure she's a threat."

"Not a threat?" asked Luna, "We find this difficult to believe."

David shrugged, "I could be wrong. They could be hauling me off to one of those green pods. Can you tell that?"

Luna shook her head, "I can feel your mind, not your body. What makes you think she is not a threat?"

David stood up from the table and looked out into the grassy plain, "I think she just wants to be safe. She does a lot of good, and my knowing what she was is just scary for her." He shrugged, "I mean, I get it. I don't get the impression ponies would be happy to know she's there. What should I do to convince her I'll let her go?"

"Thou should not!" exclaimed Luna with frustration. She struck down the table she was seated at into splinters, then standing across from David. "Tell me who and where she is, and I will take her into custody."

David backed away from the angered alicorn, "Easy, hold up! I don't want anyone arrested."

Luna advanced on him, horn lowering, "If thou doth not tell me, We will hold you accountable for hiding her." Her speech varied wildly from modern to archaic, which David took as a hint that she was becoming all the more furious.

"Please, give me a day. If you come back and I'm still not sure, I'll tell everything," said David hurriedly. Luna jabbed her horn closer before she withdrew it.

"We will allow this, but hear my warning. You expose yourself to terrible risk remaining in their presence. You are a fool." She raised a hoof and pressed it on David's chest, "Don't die a fool's death."

The dream suddenly ended, David's vision contracting abruptly to the last snatch of Luna's concerned expression fading away.


"David! Wake up!" came the upset sound of Rough Draft. David opened his eyes. He was laid out on his side, wrapped up securely in ropes. Looking around, they appeared to be in a kitchen, laid out on the concrete on their backs. Rough Draft was wriggling around in his bindings, "You're awake! Finally! I thought they did something to you."

"They did," said David as he wriggled, "Nothing permanent I think. Did they hurt you?" He didn't feel any aches aside from the light chafing of the ropes biting at him when he struggled, which he stopped doing in favor of feeling with his fingers instead.

Rough Draft wriggled his way closer to David inch after inch, "They bashed in my skull when I came in here. It still hurts like hay. You were still asleep when I came to, I though they might have hurt you real bad. I didn't get a look at them though, just heard them before they whacked me."

David rolled over and bumped into Rough Draft, "Calm down, I think we're OK." His voice wasn't as sure as he had hoped.

Rough Draft trembled a bit, tears already staining his snout, "Are we? Really?" He wriggled in place, "Is this adventure? I'm not sure I want to do it anymore. Can we go home?"

David bumped into Rough, "Calm down. We wanted adventure, let's get through it. I'll feel too stupid if we give up on the first hint of trouble. Besides, I know a secret."

"A secret?" asked Rough, glancing around, ears dancing, "What kind of secret?"

David leaned in, whispering into that twitching ear, "We either resolve this peacefully, or the cavalry will come."

Rough looked all the more perplexed at this, but began to calm down a little, sniffling.

Author's Notes:

The plot thickens!

Forced unconsciousness may have impaired my typing causing typos.

Next Chapter: 13 - Heart to Heart Estimated time remaining: 2 Hours, 51 Minutes
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