Eyes closed, Nurse Redheart pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath like the action might magically change her surroundings upon her viewing them once more. Slowly, she let the breath out, removed her hand from her face then opened her eyes. As expected, nothing had changed. She was still looking at the same trio of girls who apparently had trouble with the concept of ‘hospital gowns’.

The first, a spike clad woman who looked like Redheart was wasting her time, hadn’t bothered to put on the gown at all and had clearly balled it up and threw it at the examination room’s glass jars of cotton swabs and depressor sticks, possibly in the hopes that she’d knock one or both down and break them.

She had succeeded.

The second, a smugly preening female, who was about as much hair as she was woman, was wearing the gown and also took off her shirt, but likewise took off every single other article of clothing and her bare bottom was resting comfortably on the sheet of paper of the table.

The third, a smiling, semi-vacant looking woman sporting a pony-tail that seemed as big as her attention span was small, had at least put on her gown and remembered to take off her shirt. However, she had put on the gown backwards, so it looked like the woman had decided her frilly-pink bra was plenty chest covering to go with her ‘trendy’ picnic blanket coat.

Sighing, Redheart took one more moment to collect herself and began, “Alright… so… Who is… who?”

“Aria Blaze, booooyeeee!” Aria did something with her fingers that Redheart could only assume was gang signs of some sort. “And don’t you forget it!”

The second rolled her eyes at the display. “Adagio Dazzle. Available. Omni. Poly.”

The third girl frowned. “How can your name be Adagio and Poly?”

Adagio and Aria both groaned. Adagio motioned to Sonata. “And this dim-bulb is—”

Sonata stood up, swatting at Adagio’s hand. “I can introduce myself, Poly! If that is your real name!”

“You know it’s no—”

Sonata stood up. “Aria Bla-I mean-Sonata Dusk! Yes! Saved it!” she announced before sitting down with a big grin and flattened palm as if expecting a high-five. A high-five neither of the other girls seemed keen to give so she instead elected to high-five herself.

‘Slap!’

“Yeah!”

“Riiiiiiiiiiight…” Redheart warbled in a tone that suggested things were the opposite of ‘right’. “Okay, well, first of all, I’m only supposed to see one of you at a time, so—”

Adagio held up a hand. “We’re saving all parties involved a lot of time. We don’t want to wait for each other, and lord knows you won’t have the patience to deal with each of us one after the other.”

Redheart’s frown went a bit sideways. Adagio may have had a point. Aside from knowing the trio from their brief stint as undisputed rulers of her second job at Canterlot High, she had just met them and she could already feel the thick-iron walls built from having long been a nurse and dealing with the sick, infirm, and plain irritable start to break down from her brief encounters with the girls.

She elected to nod. “Alright then. What seems to be the trouble, hrrrmmm…” Redheart pointed. “Ari—”

A cacophonous response of all three women replying in unison hit Redheart like a flash monsoon.

“I’ve been dealing with what the internet tells me is either a sinus infection or—”

“So, Doc… Can I call you Doc? Yeah, I’ve got some itching you know —” waggles eyebrows

“I really feel I have trouble connecting with people, you know? Like maybe—”

“—a brain tumor, but I figured I could tough it out until it goes away, but now—"

“down there. So, what I need you to do is get me to a chair that spreads my legs—”

“—they just see me as some dumb, pretty girl, but really, I’m so much more! I mean—”

“—I also got like, this week-long flu, or maybe strep or like… ebola and it’s starting—”

“—strap me in and start digging deep down there! I mean deep! I’ll tell you to stop when—”

“—I’ve got interests! And I don’t mean just kids’ stuff and tacos! Like, on a scale of one to ten—”

“—to sink in that maybe toughing it out is just, total balls, you know? So, I figured, ‘fine’—”

“—I start tasting your instruments.” She winks. “If-you-know-what-I’m-saying! Oh, while—”

“—how up on current news are you? I mean, the political climate is just bonkers right now—”

“—let’s see if modern medicine can fix me without making me feel like the makers of PUBG—"

“—you’re down there, maybe check my prostate. Now, I know what you’re thinking! Girl’s—”

“—and we seem to be on the prissy-puss of a new socially in-lightning era or a backslide—”

Redheart waved her hands in the air. “Whoa! Whoa! Not all at once!”

Aria groaned. “I knew this was going to take forever!”

Adagio just smirked. “Oh, cut her some slack. I’m sure she’s doing her best.”

“You’re just saying that because you think she’s pretty!” Aria accused.

“… Yes?” Adagio replied in a tone that suggested she genuinely did not see the problem here.

Sonata suddenly caught sight of something behind Nurse Redheart and gasped. “They have toys here?! I want a toy!”

Redheart glanced behind her and grimaced. On the door to the room everyone occupied was a list of ‘care items’ that could be requested, though this was typically reserved for patients who were going to be staying a while.

Aria also looked at the poster on the door. “Hey! And Food!”

Sonata’s face lit up. “I’ll take McNuggets, a coke, and go-gurt please!” She leaned over to Adagio and whispered, “That’s the yogurt you eat on the go…”

Redheart’s brow twitched. “Girls! This isn’t McDon…”

“And I’ll take a hamburger and two ice packs,” Aria interjected. “My feet are killing me from all the frickin’ walkin’ I had to do to get here.” She looked back down at her phone. “Still totes burning this place down on Yelp, fyi.”

“We don’t…” Nurse Redheart threw her hands up in the air. “Hospital! Hos-pit-al! How is this ha—”

Adagio interrupted, “And I’ll take a vomit bag full of eye-masks and another full of blankets please!”

Redheart smacked a palm against her face and dragged it down the entire length. “Fine!” she growled out. “But I want blood tests from each of you!”

“Deal!” all three Dazzlings said at once.

Redheart’s eyes rolled back into her head for a second. “The pact is sealed…”

The trio just collectively rolled their eyes.

“Yes, yes,” Adagio said. “You’re sufficiently creepy. Now go fetch our swag,” she added making a ‘shoo-shoo’ motion with her hands.

Redheart dropped her head and let her arms dangle to her side. “You three are no fun at all!” She wailed before exiting the room and closing the door behind her.

Aria shook her head. “Bitch acts like it’s our first time at a hospital.”

Adagio shook her head. “Where else am I going to get all the pap smears I want?”

“Yeah, or some used scalpels,” Aria added.

Sonata tittered. “Like, no d’uh! All the free mummy costumes and Halloween decorations you can carry out of the medical waste bins!”

Author's Notes:

Still fighting illness as it changes shapes and strategies for attacking my body, but this was inspired by my little trip to Urgent Care.