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The Dazzlings Are Insane

by Justice3442

Chapter 18: Good Things Come to Those Who Wait Almost Two Years

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Author's Notes:

Decided to revisit this storyline as I reminded myself I mislike it when others sort of start a storyline and just kinda abandon it. This is also why it's in the middle of the chapters as it takes place directly after the one before it.


Once again, some praise deserves to fall on Tired Old Man for his edits and some suggestions regarding Greasy's decor.


ALSO, cheers or perhaps jeers deserve to be heaped on MythrilMoth for introducing me to the concept of Greasy's! To be fair to MM, however, it's T.O.M. and I who like to take this idea, set it on fire and roll it down a hill towards an orphanage before cackling madly as the flames climb high into the night.


On a final note. There's an OC of mine you can find in one of my other works. Your hint for which work is it's the only mature one I've written to date, or perhaps... fic I decided was 'adult' enough that I wouldn't be trying to slide anything past delicate sensibilities.


Anyhow, if you haven't ran screaming from your chosen horse word dispensary yet, enjoy!

“I have so many regrets,” Aria Blaze uttered as she took stock of her surroundings as well as the company surrounding her. The twin metal-framed glass-covered-with-posters-and-advertisement doors behind her made a squeak that grated on the ears as swung close with an oddly loud ‘Slam!’ that almost made Aria feel like she was now trapped in the sordid place. In front of her was a dingy arcade filled with children who frolicked in front of a dilapidated band of animatronics and ran between games so caked with grime that Aria felt dirtier just by virtue of looking at them. The children exclaimed in joy, or perhaps terror… It was difficult for Aria to gauge the attitudes of the smaller primate-based species to begin with, but the ambiance cast everything in a surreal light that made telling what direction one was facing difficult enough to tell as it was. The lights were dim and the windows sealed by drapes and quite likely paint, adding to the already strange style and atmosphere. The place looked like a bad casino in a rough neighborhood… but somehow for children.

Employees wore uniforms that burned the eyes just to look at them even in the rather dimly lit… restaurant… arcade….? restacade… Some new word that somehow combined aspects of both yet failed on all conceivable levels perhaps saving the fact that it had combined what most would admit are ‘games’ with what almost none would say is actually food. Admittedly, the place did seem somewhat successful in one regard, and that was separating currency from parents.

Though it hurt her eyes to do so, Aria once again took a look at the employees. These downtrodden souls who wore gross-colored and even grosser-looking garments ferried oddly murky colored drinks of what was probably soda and pizza that smelled more of a vegetable oil fire than anything else. Though it was far from Aria’s nature to dwell on others, she found herself pondering the predicament of these minimum wage-slaves. What lies or threats led them on to seek employment in a place untouched by both light and hope away from their homes? Would they not have rather stayed there, in what must be relative cleanliness and safety in knowing they would contract hepatitis A through Z, or however many letters there were? Greasy’s will make corpses of them all…

Like, seriously… Crack houses have to look nicer than this… Aria squinted slightly at a male employee with pale skin and sunken, bloodshot eyes surrounded with black circles. Or perhaps they’re getting money FOR their crack houses… You know what…? There’s a good chance they’re slaves or at least indentured servants…

“Well, this was your stupid idea!” Adagio Dazzle exclaimed in response to Aria. An utterance that practically seemed like it was made a lifetime ago.

“That is one of my many regrets!” Aria quipped. Shaken from her stupor of considering other people's feelings (Man, was that a pain…), Aria now considered the people she had arrived with. Adagio was the least offensive of the group, though not visually. Her flashy purple attire practically screamed ‘look at me!’ while… Alright, Aria’s getup was admittedly also somewhat eye-catching, but it at least her hair bands and belt buckle had sharper edges which tended to tell others if they got too close, they would be cut. The golden spikes that adorned Adagio’s hair-clip, belt, and boots looked downright friendly… Okay, credit where credit is due, Adagio’s boots looked lethal.

On Aria’s other side was Sonata Dusk, who wasn’t losing as many points in the outfit department, though would benefit from more spikes than just those on her bracelets. However, it was the look of childlike wonderment on Sonata’s face despite the fact that this was less a ‘fun place for children’ and what ‘literal demons from Hell probably think a fun place for children looks like!’ that placed her behind, or rather in front of, Adagio in terms of how much she was annoying Aria.

Sonata immediately peeled off from the group, unable to contain her excitement over simply entering the establishment where most would acknowledge is where hope went to die. No doubt she would lay claim to a soda and demand some of the sludge-like congealed mass that passes for pizza at this place later on.

Even if Sonata was doing much to irritate Aria just by virtue of being, it was the newcomer, the tagalong, the interloper that was irritating Aria the most with her mere presence. Trixie… probably-has-a-last-name had just so happened to be present when the call, or perhaps dirge, to head to Greasy’s had been uttered. The flamboyant magician had invited herself and no one had bothered to maybe uninvite her… Granted, that included Aria… But, come on! Doing so would be awkward and probably require some effort some and telling people what they could and could not do was what ‘the man’ did… You know, that quasi-anthropomorphic entity that represented ‘rules’ and ‘the establishment’. Regardless of what Aria wanted in the moment, it was far more important to make sure she was sticking it, and sticking it good, to the man at all times.

Anyhow, Trixie had left the Dazzling’s house still in the skin-tight black bodysuit Adagio had got her into at some point last night but had decided she simply ‘must bring my hat and cape with me’! Because, of course she did... Making her look like some sort of crazy bondage wizard… Like… like… Like maybe a mini-boss in a sex dungeon.

Aria hadn’t had much time to get to know Trixie, but she seemed both in love with herself and abrasive, meaning she fit in with the trio in the worst possible way. Aria wasn’t exactly looking forward to seeing more of the self-styled magician, then again, she rarely looked forward to seeing more of anyone. Though, she was certain that if Trixie became a regular fixture in her life, it would mean even more drama than what felt like a cup that was constantly being drowned past capacity from a firehoue.

She resolved herself to do the most effective thing she could think of to make sure this didn’t happen! Make fun of Adagio regarding Trixie when Trixie wasn’t present!

As luck would have it, Trixie also seemed to take an unnaturally upbeat interest at the group's new locale and scampered away without so much as a word.

“Huh…” Aria uttered as she watched Trixie run off into the mix of children who were slowly realizing that Greasy’s was bereft of joy to be had and those who had already since buried the notion that a ‘good time’ was in their immediate, or perhaps entire, future. “Well your girlfriend seems to be happy we came here.”

Adagio rolled her eyes. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

Aria smirked. “And yet here you are on a date…” Aria took another glance around as her stomach began to sink slightly. “Though, not much of one… Heck… I think we’re in negative numbers at this point…”

“Oh, so if this is a date are you taking Sonata out?”

Aria scanned the area for Sonata. Predictably, she found her in front of a skee-ball machine, laughing delightedly and lobbing the balls in the general direction of the machine with enough force that they were bouncing off and hitting other children and their parents nearby.

Aria let out a heavy sigh. “Let’s just order something and sit down…” she grumbled.

Soon the pair had ordered items that possibly would be edible, at least… one could always hope, and had found a booth with a faded yellow table and faded rounded red bench seats to sit at. A booth that looked much like the others around save for the seemingly random assortment of colors that other booths were, once upon a time, painted with. With some terpidatious hesitation as the girls looked over a misshapen and cracked booth that had it’s own layer of filth, as if considering if the thing would take their weight or was worth the risk of catching something, both Aria and Adagio opted to collapsed into their own benches. The girls let out massive sighs as if they were already exhausted with the day, though given their surroundings, that was understandable.

“No! MINE! MY TURN!”

Both turned to watch Sonata push a child out of the way of a dilapidated whack-a-mole station. She put her own quarter in a slot that was so worn the red lettering around it had long since vanished. She picked up a metal rod that had a few errant patches of filth-ridden padding still clinging onto it. As the machine let out a few off-tune tones that once probably made up a song at one point, Sonata’s face lit up with glee.

“Hey, nutbar!” Aria called out.

“Up yours, Aria!” Sonata called back without taking her eyes off the game.

Aria rolled her eyes. “Yeah, don’t burn any brain cells getting’ back at me or nothin’… Anyhow we’re sitting here!”

Sonata glanced back for a split second. “Okay!” she replied as she began smashing brown lumps that were vaguely animal-shaped with enough force that the impacts made audible ‘clanks’ as metal hit metal.

“Well… At least Sonata stopped crying,” Aria uttered, shaking her head.

“Trixie is having far more fun than I would have expected, too,” Adagio mused as she nodded off into the cavalcade of kids and game.

“—and voila!” Trixie said as she revealed empty palms. “The quarter has disappeared! But what’s this…” Trixie reached towards the ear of a grey-skinned girl with purple hair and pulled back her hand, revealing a quarter. The child crying out in delight, it wasn’t long before Trixie’s getup and demeanor had attracted the attention of other kids while her outfit had attracted the attention of some of the male adults. Trixie quite quickly and happily began performing tricks for any and all that were fortunate to grace her presence.

Aria couldn’t help but smirk. “Jealous?” she said as she turned towards Adagio. “Trixie is getting more attention than you.”

Adagio rolled her eyes. “She’s getting the attention of children and bored men… I could accomplish the same by wearing clown makeup and a skimpy outfit,” she quipped.

Aria chuckled. “That’d give people some interesting fetishes.”

The two watched as a peach-skinned employee with brown hair walked up to Trixie and nervously tapped on his shoulder. “Ma’am? Uh… We appreciate what you’re doing, but you’re not an Employee of Greasy’s, so—”

Trixie turned, irritated scowl on her face. “THE GRRRREAT AND POWERFUL TRRRRRIXIE IS HAVING FUN AS ARE THESE CHILDREN!” Trixie said as she motioned to respectable number of fans that were watching her show. “WHY DO YOU HATE FUN AND ALSO CHILDREN?!” she demanded. “WHY DO YOU HATE HAPPINESS?!”

The employee whimpered slightly at Trixie. “Please don’t make this hard… I only get paid minimum wage…”

Adagio and Aria watched the spectacles unfold in front of them with twin looks of detached amusement. “Wow…” Aria uttered. “Trixie might get us kicked out before Sonata does…” she mused. Aria shook her head. “Hell, it’s kinda a feat to get kicked out of Greasy’s in the first place.”

A waitress with mocha-colored skin, long, bright emerald eyes that seemed oddly undulled by even the weariness of the establishment, and light-brown hair that draped over her shoulders approached. She wore a uniform composed of plaid stripes that looked as if all the primary colors had a war in which no one could possibly win, walked up and set down a fizzy brown beverage in front of Adagio and a murky yellow-colored drink in front of Aria. “Here you go, one brown cola and one yellow soda.” She set down a pizza covered in what might generously be called ‘cheese’ that was mostly clumped into a gelatinous mass on one half as reddish circles dotted the grease soaked mass of dough. “And one pepperoni pizza.”

Adagio and Aria frowned as they stared at their beverages. “Brown cola…?” Adagio uttered. “I ordered a Coke…” she leaned forward and sniffed her drink, recoiling back into her plastic chair immediately. “And I don’t think this is even a Pepsi… or consumable.”

The waitress sighed. “It’s really not…” she admitted.

Aria eyed her own beverage suspiciously. “I take it this isn’t Mountain Dew, either?”

“Er, not as much, no,” the waitress answered.

Adagio smirked at Aria. “Drink it,” she said. “It’s all just disgusting sugar water anyway.”

Aria narrowed her eyes. “You first.”

Adagio’s eyes drifted down towards her glass and as she pursed her lips. Adagio looked up at the waitress. “Do you sell alcohol here?” she asked in a tone bereft of hope.

The waitresses’ face contorted in befuddlement. “This is an arcade and pizza parlor… for children.

“Barely…” Adagio mumbled as she reached a hand down below the table and came back up with a metal flask.

“I would think that’s all the more reason to serve booze,” Aria quipped.

Adagio untwisted the cap of the flask and brought it over to the ‘brown cola’ where she quickly was blocked by with waitress. She narrowed her eyes slightly.

Aria mirrored Adagio’s irritated expression. “You aren’t going to nark on us, are you?”

The waitress shook her head. “No, it’s just that whatever is in that flask has got to be way more palatable than what passes for syrup here, let alone water,” she said, surprising both Adagio and Aria by grabbing the flask. She took a quick swig and handed it back to Adagio with a smile. “Oh, God… I needed that.”

Adagio and Aria stared at the waitress as Adagio grabbed hold of her flask, their faces a mixture of surprise and impressed.

“Uh, wow…” Aria uttered. “Way to stick it to the man, and all that… but, uh… aren’t you afraid your slave master is gonna catch you and you’ll get whipped or fired?”

“… Slave master?” the waitress replied in confusion.

“She means ‘manager’, I’m sure,” Adagio answered.

“There’s a cute magician running around wearing nothing but a wizard hat, cape, and skin-tight bodysuit and a young adult woman assaulting a whack-a-mole station…” The waitress shook her head. “I doubt I’d get a look even if I caught fire!” Her eyes went on a quick if distant jaunt. “...This happens more than you would think…” she uttered in a hushed tone.

“Well then…” Adagio purred as she motioned towards the booth that Aria was sitting at. “Why don’t you take a little break? Carpe diem, and all that… You never know when your next breath will be your last due to internal combustion or wearing clothes soaked in grease.”

Aria fought her impulse to fire off a ‘get lost’ stare and even scooted over slightly so the waitress would have a spot to sit.

The waitress accepted the offer and sat down at the both, a small smile on her face. “Name’s Oddjob,” the waitress said as she extended a hand to Aria.

A couple eyebrows at the table rose as Oddjob’s hand was taken and shook by Aria and then Adagio.

“Your parents spy-movie nuts, or something?” Aria asked.

Oddjob smiled and nodded. “Yep, you hit the exploding pen right on the cap, or whatever…”

Adagio gave Oddjob a scrutinizing look.

“Uh… What?” Oddjob replied. “Did my face break out in another mysterious rash, or something?!” she asked as she felt her face.

Adagio shook her head. “No, it’s just… You don’t seem dead inside.”

“Yet,” Aria added.

“Right, yet.” Adagio tilted her head. “Is it really that hard to find a job that you have to work here?”

Oddjob shrugged. “I’ve worked worse…”

Adagio and Aria both shot Oddjob uncharacteristically concerned looks.

“Is that…” Adagio took another look around. “Is that even possible, while still being legal?!”

“Yeah, no kidding, dude!” Aria chimed in. “Like where?! Didja end up working as a janitor at an irritated bowel convention, or something?!”

Oddjob’s emerald eyes seemed to leave the rest of her on a journey. A journey of horrors and scars that would likely be with them until they finally were put to rest. “I don’t like to talk about my past jobs!” Oddjob exclaimed. She sighed. “Usually my current one, too…”

“I hear ya,” Aria replied. She shook her head. “I mean… Workin’ for the man has gotta be pretty lame to begin with, but then you consider a place like this…”

Adagio gave Aria an amused look. “Hah! Like you have one clue. You’ve never worked a single day in your whole life!”

“Well, d’uh!” Aria shot back. “I just said working would be the worst! Why’d I’d even bother?”

“Maybe so you can stop being a mooch off society and also me?” Adagio suggested. “I mean, not being a sponge for even one day or a few hours I’m sure would build some much needed character.”

Oddjob let out a small laugh. “At least the benches is having something like a cleaning supply touch them for a change.” The quip won her a guffaw from Adagio and an irate glare that silently promised violence from Aria that Oddjob met with a nervous smile.

“I’m not a sponge!” Aria insisted. “I’m like… a rebel! I commit mass crimes, yo! Punk rock!” Aria shouted as she put up both her hands up and formed ‘horns’ with her index fingers and pinkies.

Adagio giggled. “A rebel who mostly sits at home and plays video games and watches TV… Right… I’m sure ‘the man’s’ ribs are covered and bruises from all the times you’ve stuck it to him by illegally downloading animes after they were licensed.”

Oddjob couldn’t help but snicker to herself.

Aria grit her teeth. “Screw you, Adagio! Also, there’s no need to pluralize anime… you idiot.”

Oddjob grinned. “You had to stop and think before you called her ‘baka’, didn’t you?”

“You can’t prove that!” Aria snapped.

“Hah!” Adagio exclaimed as she shook her head. “Well if you want to get out of this rut of doing pretty much nothing, they’re hiring,” Adagio said as she pointed towards a sign pasted on the front door, the words ‘Now Hiring’ shining backwards inside. She snickered. “Maybe you can work your way from grease trap emptier to manager and change this place from the inside?” Adagio shook her head. “You know… get new hardcore video games for the kids, and make the prizes spiked bracelets and katanas…”

“Adagio, that’s stupid… That’d be still be me working for the man… unless…” Aria thought for a moment. “Wait, there’s an irony component here that I could maybe make work…” She shook her head. “Naw… I’d end up breaking some soccer mom’s face on my first day and getting fired, so why bother?”

“Oh, we have other positions available,” Oddjob said. “We need a nightguard, for instance.”

Adagio’s face tightened as she looked around. “For what?! To keep the grime from crawling away from its designated area?” She shook her head. “I can understand that there’s perhaps quite a few quarters to pilfer, but that also means touching stuff in here.” Adagio sighed. “Just sitting in this booth I feel I might need to burn the clothes I’m in and take a long, hot shower spent sobbing to myself naked in the corner.”

Oddjob looked down at her uniform and shuddered. “Can I have another drink?”

Adagio passed her the flask to Oddjob who took another swig. “Anyway,” Oddjob continued as she passed the flask back to Adagio. “I don’t think I’d recommend the job even beyond you having to work here.” She leaned in, placing a hand next to her mouth as if shielding the conversation from unwanted listeners. “I’m pretty sure this place is haunted.”

“Oh, really?!” Aria replied, her amethyst eyes lighting up.

Adagio sighed and raised fingertips to her forehead. “Why’d you have to tell her that?”

“Wait…” Oddjob said. “You guys believe me? I kinda expected to be laughed out of this booth.”

“A place like this?” Aria said motioning around her. “Of course I believe it’s haunted… I mean, I probably would have come to that conclusion myself but something about this place makes it difficult to think…” Aria smiled slightly and leaned in, using a hand to shield the conversation from others much like Oddjob had done. “I think it’s some sort of ectoplasmic miasma…” she whispered.

Adagio rolled her eyes. “Or just grease burning off from the kitchen…”

“It could be both,” Oddjob chimed in.

“Stop encouraging her!” Adagio snapped.

“So, anyways… It’s not so much a guard job as a Ghost Busting job?” Aria asked hope clearly springing eternal in her voice.

“Uh… No?” Oddjob replied. “I think it’s just supposed to be a regular guard job except you just kind of put up with the ghosts and try not to get driven insane or get killed, maybe?”

Aria’s smile only grew. “So if I actually busted the ghosts I’d also get the bonus of disobeying my corporate overlords?!”

It was Oddjob’s turn to look around her surroundings. “I think you’re overestimating Greasy’s size a bit here…”

Adagio snickered. “Corporate HQ is a filthy room in the back, I take it?”

Oddjob hugged herself as her body temporarily became wracked with mini-quakes. “The filthiest…”

Clearly not listening, Aria looked at the hiring sign again and then at Oddjob. “Do you get like… money or a bonus for helping me get a job?”

“Uh… I get like 100 tickets for the prize exchange or something…”

Adagio chuckled. “The finest cheap, bootleg toys from countries with no respect for copyrights that tickets can buy.”

“Good enough for me!” Aria exclaimed.

Aria place her hands on Oddjob’s shoulders and pushed her out of the booth before practically dragging the startled woman away with an “Ah!”

“Let’s go!” Aria said excitedly as she bolted towards the front desk.

“That’s fine…” Adagio mumbled to herself, irritation having crawled onto her face where it began to nest. “I’ll just sit here alone then with this pizza… By the looks of it, it has a few stories to tell and can probably hold a better conversation anyhow.”

“Oh, Adagio~!” Trixie warbled out. “The Grrrrrreat and Powerful Trixie can use a sexy assistant for her next trick!”

Adagio pursed her lips slightly and drummed on the table with her fingertips a couple times. “Only if I get my own cape!” she shouted back.

“Trixie brought spares!”

“… Yeah, alright…” Adagio replied as she got up from the booth.

Next Chapter: One Night at Greasy's (Come On... You All Saw This Coming) Estimated time remaining: 3 Hours, 10 Minutes
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