Las Pegasus sucked. Barrier had spent over a week in the city, going to various shows and putting up with what he had at first decided was easily the worst unicorn, and possibly the worst pony, he had ever met. Initially, he hadn’t understood why he had been hired; he couldn’t imagine why a stage-performer needed a bodyguard, until the crowd had started to advance towards the stage during her first show. A quick show of telekinetic force - admittedly harmless - caused most of the crowd to back down, save for one unicorn that had continued towards the stage. One concussion and a brief discussion with the guards later, the pony was hauled off and the show went on with no further issues. From there, it had been show after show with multiple ponies showing displeasure at the mare’s apparent return to Las Pegasus, but, due to the rumors - which at that point had gotten out of hand - about her bodyguard, nopony dared to cause a scene. Rather, several of them seemed to enjoy the show by the end of the day, Barrier included.

Vanhoover sucked as well.

Yet again, the ponies had thrown insults and threatened the mare, initially. At least this time none of them had approached the stage; Barrier assumed the three-hundred and fifty pound stallion standing off to the side with a sword around his barrel and looking generally unhappy had a bit to do with it.

The unicorn hadn’t really questioned it in Las Pegasus, but curiosity got the better of him when Vanhoover also attempted to practically lynch the performer, and he finally asked her what the hay had happened to make everypony react so aggressively.

A quick story later and Magic Barrier wasn’t sure how he felt about the situation. He was proud of Twilight for safely dealing with an Ursa Minor, and mildly annoyed at Trixie, since her boast led to such trouble, but at the same time, her reputation had been ruined and her livelihood all but destroyed because a pair of - by the sounds of things - genuinely stupid colts had taken her lie at face value. Irrelevant now, he supposed.

After two weeks in Las Pegasus and two weeks in Vanhoover, Barrier finally found himself at the train-station, thinking back to when the performer had tried to come onto him the prior night. That had been awkward. Honestly, he was over a decade older than her.

The unicorn groaned as he departed the train with a half-dozen other ponies. The train had stopped mid-trip, due to ‘engine troubles’ and it left them stranded on the tracks for nearly four hours, in addition to an already two-and-a-half-day trip. By now, the moon was already high in the sky, signalling they were long past their projected arrival time.

“Hope Octavia isn’t worried,” The stallion rolled his stiff shoulders and adjusted his saddlebags as well as his sword. The scabbard had varying amounts of damage all along it, a stark contrast to the when he had ordered it nearly five months ago. With a deep yawn, the unicorn trotted towards home, more than ready to sleep in an actual bed for a change.

Four months ago, he had put an ad in the papers, advertising himself as a bodyguard for hire. He had expected it to be fairly slow, but apparently bringing down five ponies in Canterlot by oneself made one fairly desirable as far as personal-security went. Odd, since Barrier didn’t think the event was terribly publicized. In any case, the jobs had all but poured in. The pay was great, but being gone for up to a month at a time could be frustrating, to say nothing of the stress he put on Octavia with his occasional life-or-death situations.

Stepping through the door quietly, taking in his surroundings; they had ultimately gotten a fairly basic, yet nice home. It was single-story, with three bedrooms, one-and-a-half bathrooms, its own dining room and living room, as well an entirely separate kitchen, unlike the apartment where the rooms had all been crammed together. There was also something Octavia called a “utility room”, but Barrier had no earthly idea what purpose that would serve. He was fairly certain she just practiced her cello-playing in there. They had decided on a grey-with-burgundy theme for the house, built almost entirely around the glorious couch the mare owned. Trotting through the dining room and towards the bedroom he and Octavia shared, Barrier’s ears twitched at the sound of somepony retching painfully in the bathroom. “Tavi, that you?” Barrier dropped his stuffed saddlebags by the door, leaving his sword on. “Tavi?” The unicorn tapped the bathroom-door slightly, getting a miserable groan in response.

Pushing his way into the bathroom, the stallion blanched slightly at the smell. “I’d ask if you’re okay but…” The stallion chuckled uncertainly as he rubbed the mare’s back.

“Welcome home…” Octavia groaned out, spitting a mouthful of spit and bile. With a miserable sounding heave, the mare pulled herself upright.

Levitating a glass of water from the bathroom, Barrier shouldered some of the mare’s weight as she stood up and drank from the glass, spitting the first couple of times.

“Thanks, sorry I’m late. The train crapped out on us halfway home.”

The mare finished her water, sitting the cup back on the bathroom sink.

“You okay?” The unicorn flushed the toilet with a short flare of magic as he and the mare left the bathroom.

“I’ll be fine, I’ve just been sick the last few days. I have a doctor’s appointment today at nine-thirty,” Octavia yawned deeply as they made it back to their bedroom. “How was your trip?”

“Eh…” Barrier lapsed into an uneasy silence.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie demands your attention!”

“That’s nice,” He commented absentmindedly, flipping through a particularly boring magazine.

“I’ve had better and worse. Probably the safest job I’ve had so far. The mare was a pretty big wind-bag,” Dropping off his sword on the bedside, the stallion curled up on the bed, wrapping his hooves around the mare in the process.

Six hours later, Barrier groaned as he rolled sideways, off of the bed, and right onto the floor. Landing with a hard thud, the unicorn groaned and picked himself upright. He could already smell breakfast drifting through the house, signaling that Octavia had awoken before him.

“Gff mrninf,” The mare called out with a mouthful of plate.

“Morning,” The stallion gave a quick glance at the clock. Ninety minutes until the appointment; just long enough for breakfast and a shower.

“Delivery!” A voice called out, followed by several heavy taps on the door.

Glancing in askance at Octavia, Barrier frowned when the mare shook her head. “Odd,” he commented as he trotted out of the dining room and towards the front door.

Going back to setting the table, Octavia plopped down miserably in a chair, staring at the eggs and hay-bacon, her stomach rolling uneasily.

“Princess Celestia cordially invites you to the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor,” Barrier read aloud as he trotted back into the dining room. “Guess it’s time for another trip to Canterlot,” Barrier said as he glanced at Octavia, who was uneasily picking at her food. “Worried you won’t be able to keep it down?” He set the letter off to the side, having been expecting it for some time.

“It’s been fairly consistent for the last week or two,” Octavia uneasily began to eat. “A couple of weeks after you left for your last job, now that I think about it.”

“Huh, that’s odd,” Barrier’s mind was already running ninety miles an hour, despite the fact that his coffee hadn’t broken the blood-brain barrier yet. Please say it isn’t what I think it is…

“So…how long until the wedding?” Octavia sipped her own coffee.

“Two weeks. Think you’ll be able to schedule around it?” After the move, Octavia had decided to put several ads in the paper herself, deciding to teach other ponies how to play the cello, in addition to occasionally playing at the restaurant. It had worked out surprisingly well and the two were no longer financially starved.

“Mm, I’ll have to reschedule a couple of appointments, but that shouldn’t be a terrible issue. Where should we stay, though? I can’t imagine that the Sparkles will have a lot of room, and with a royal wedding approaching, there very well may not be any vacancies, even if we plan ahead.”

“Mm, we can check the hotels, but if worse comes to worst, I’m fairly certain the princess would put us up in a guest room at the castle,” Barrier stuffed the last of his breakfast in him, Octavia doing the same. A quick shower later found them both trotting through the streets of Manehattan.

“The doctor will be with you shortly,” The nurse trotted out of the room, pulling the door shut behind her.

“I’m scared, Barrier,” Octavia confessed nervously, sitting on the examination table, across from Magic Barrier, who was spinning around in the stool.

“It’ll be okay, Tavi,” The unicorn stopped spinning and made to stand up to comfort the mare, only for him to fall over as he stood. “Oh, hello world. The hay are you going to the left for?”

Octavia giggle-snorted at the stallion, blushing when she realized what she had done.

With a chuckle of his own, Barrier climbed to his hooves, managing to stay upright this time.

“It’ll be okay, love,” The unicorn wrapped a hoof around the mare, pulling her close and kissing her forehead gently. “Whatever happens, I’m here for ya.”

Octavia returned the affections, wrapping a hoof around the unicorn and smiling softly at him. “Thank you,” She pecked him quickly on the lips, jerking her head to the door as the doctor - a light-blue earth pony with a dark-blonde mane, white coat, and stethoscope around his neck - trotted into the room.

“Ms. Octavia, Mr…” He hesitated and eyed the unicorn.

“Barrier,.” He provided his name, nodding his head.

“Right. I understand you’re suffering from nausea and vomiting at completely random hours?”

The mare nodded her affirmation.

“Alright then, I’ll just take some blood for now, and I’ll need a urine sample as well,” As he spoke, he pulled a needle and pair of vials out of his coat-pockets. With practiced movements the stallion quickly put the needle in the crook of Octavia’s hoof, filled the vials, and trotted out with the promise that he would return shortly.

“So,” Octavia began, “you didn’t get to tell me about your job this month. How was it?”

“Eh it was okay, I guess. The mare was a bit difficult to put up with at the start, but it got better about half-way through…” Barrier quickly ran her through the story, commenting how proud he was of Twilight.

Octavia listened intently, occasionally commenting and making observations, but her expression only changed towards the end, when Trixie tried to ‘persuade’ Magic Barrier to extend his employment. That part gave her a particularly flat-yet-irritated expression. “She tried to come onto you, you say?”

Tartarus hath no fury like a mare… The stallion’s thoughts trailed off as Octavia pulled him into a deep kiss, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Perhaps we should invite her to Manehattan. Pay her to perform a show.”

Barrier really didn’t like the almost-evil gleam in Octavia’s eyes.

“Relax, Tavi, the mare has nothing on you,” Barrier was glad that he wasn’t like some stallions and didn’t particularly care for younger mares in that regard. “Besides, I don’t know if I could put up with her anymore. She got more tolerable after we hit Vanhoover, but the whole talking-in-third-person schtick. I’ve never come so close to smothering a pony in their sleep.”

A light rap on the door silenced the pair. “Ms. Melody, Mr. Barrier,” The doctor trotted back in with a folder held in the crook of his hoof. “I believe we’ve figured out the reason for your nausea and vomiting,” The stallion glanced at the pair for a brief moment, meeting eyes with each of them. “Mr. Barrier, Ms. Melody; congratulations. You’re going to be parents.”

Silence reigned for a brief period, nopony speaking until Octavia finally put a hoof on the stallion’s shoulder. “Doctor, could you give us a moment?”

The doctor glanced uncertainly at Magic Barrier, who all but pleaded for him to stay with his eyes. The doctor departed as quickly as he could.

“This is all your fault,” Octavia started at the stallion.

“How the hay is it my fault?” Barrier asked, raising an eyebrow. He could understand the part he played in the finished product, but hadn’t she been on pills for it?

“You should have worn condoms!” The mare raised her voice slightly, the irritation clear.

“The buck’s a condom?” The unicorn had a genuine look of confusion on his face as Octavia’s irritation shifted into confusion at the sheer absurdity of the question, to say nothing of the genuine tone the stallion had.

“You’re an idiot,” The mare draped herself wearily over the examination table.

“Well, what about those pills you took? You said that they’d prevent unwanted pregnancies,” Barrier shot out, taking a seat on the stool once more, resting his chin on a hoof.

“...That’s actually a damn good question,” Octavia commented, trotting towards the door. “I got those birth-control pills from here,” The mare poked her head out the door and motioned with a hoof for the doctor to come back in.

“Um, yes?” The doctor glanced nervously at the stallion.

“I purchase birth-control pills from this office’s pharmacy every month. Is there any possible way they could have failed?” Though the mare asked politely and maintained a neutral expression, her eyes held the doctor’s gaze firmly, almost daring him not to answer.

“Uh…” He swallowed nervously. “Have you been on any other medication in the last couple of months? Any antibiotics or anything that might have reduced the effectiveness of your birth-control?”

The mare briefly thought back to the antibiotics she had taken just over a month prior, to eliminate an inner-ear infection. “Amoxil, for an inner-ear infection.”

The doctor’s eyes told the pair everything they needed to know.

Barrier watched the doctor back out of the room nervously once more.

“Well, buck.”

Author's Notes:

A toilet. Alticron wanted a freakin' toilet. Worst part is, he got it. Granted, it cost him a kidney, but the basement editor's now have plumbing. Oh, usual thanks as well, for the editing and whatnot. Also huge thanks to ChasingResonance for helping me out with this chapter, {dude is stupid-thorough} in addition to arranging the removal and sale of the kidney. Guy's one helluva an editor/proofreader, if you're lookin' for one, he might be your guy. Also, that reference towards the end? Alticron did good.