Author's Notes:

So, my parts are due to arrive tomorrow and I get to completely disassemble my PC [as well as my roommates, since he has a new case coming tomorrow] and reassemble it {them}. Contrary to belief this can be a fairly taxing job [blisters the hell out of fingers and kills the back] when you don't have a proper setting [which I don't] to do it all in. SO, I very well may be out of commission the next few days, between my already bad back and already sore [courtesy of a big-ass rock I got to move] hands. So if I don't update, I'm probably dead and you all should riot and shite. Throw molotovs and stuff.

Right, on to the usual thanks: Thanks as always to the ever-faithful Izanagi for being there to cuddle and drool on during the cold nights and thanks to Alticron for making it awkward by commenting on how gay we looked. Also for the editing. They do a bit of that as well, but I mostly keep them around because they're naked.

“I don’t see how you can eat that.”

Barrier chuckled and took another bite of the pancakes, simply shaking his head in response.

“Don’t shake your head, that’s weird. What pony eats plain flour pancakes?” Octavia took a small bite of her own syrup-soaked concoction.

“After the cupcakes at the party last night? I rather like my teeth, thank you.”

“It’s just syrup, Barrier. I rather think your teeth would be fine.”

“I’ll err on the side of caution, thank you. It’s rather common for ponies over thirty to start losing their teeth due to such things, and I’ll not join them if I can help it. Hay, I’m still lucky enough to have all of my teeth at this point.”

Octavia froze, a forkful of pancake inches from her mouth. “How in the hay does a pony lose teeth before thirty? Have they never heard of a dentist?”

Now it was Barrier’s turn to frown, his forkful of pancake freezing in a similar location. “The buck’s a dentist?”

“Pinkie Pie?” Octavia called out, setting her fork down. “Does Ponyville have a dentist’s office?”

“Oh for the love of…!” Octavia smacked Barrier on the back of the head, causing him to place his forehooves over his head and let go of the lamppost. “Stop struggling. Your teeth need to be cleaned! Eugh, with all the alcohol you drink it’s a miracle you’ve any teeth left!”

“My teeth are clean! I brush them daily!” Barrier argued loudly as Octavia dragged him along by his tail, drawing the attention of nearby ponies, many of whom seemed amused at the pair.

“By your own admission, you’ve not been to a dentist ever. You’re going to the dentist, whether you like it or not.” The mare pulled the unicorn into the dentist’s office by his tail, much to the amusement of the blue mare behind the desk.

“How can I help you today?”

“Hello miss, I’m Octavia and this big oaf is Magic Barrier. Magic here would like to see the dentist. We don’t have an appointment, but it recently came to my attention that he has never been.”

“Well, Miss Octavia, my name’s Colgate, and I’d love to take a look at your friend’s teeth for you.” An almost scary spark appeared in the mare’s eyes as she stepped out from behind the desk and trotted through the far door.

“Your mane looks like my toothpaste.” Barrier commented idly as he followed the pair into the backroom.

“Don’t be rude, Barrier.” Octavia chided, “So, miss Colgate. You work here by yourself?”

“Yup. Ponyville’s a really small town so I don’t have too many patients, and the ones I do have almost always schedule ahead of time, so I don’t really need a secretary.”

Octavia simply nodded her head in understanding.

“Alright Mr. Barrier, just climb up in this chair here and we’ll get started.” Colgate stepped beyond the chair, taking several tools in her magic.

“Uh, why does this chair have restraints?” Barrier nervously did as he was told.

“Oh, don’t worry about those.” Colgate brushed the concern off casually.

“Just don’t give her a reason to use them, eh Barrier?” Octavia grinned creepily as Colgate trotted back around to the front, an assortment of dangerous-looking tools in her magic.

“I don’t know, if you’re using them it might not be so bad.” The unicorn made to grin only to be interrupted by Colgate and several very intimidating looking tools.

“Now then, open your mouth and say aah.”

“Never again.” The pair trotted out of the dentist’s office as the sun reached it’s zenith.

“Oh, surely it wasn’t that bad. And besides, even Colgate said that your teeth were terrible.”

“Of course she said my teeth were terrible, we were paying her.”

“Oh, stop complaining. You desperately needed your teeth cleaned properly and it’s already done. Let’s just get some lunch and decide what to do with the rest of the day, hm?”

“Fine, fine. As long as we don’t eat at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie’s grin scares the crap outta me.” Glancing around, “What about that little cafe there?” The stallion pointed a hoof at a little outdoor cafe.

“Hm, that will do, I suppose. I’m a little surprised they’re open, though. The weather is fairly chilly this time of year, I didn’t think outdoor cafes were that popular this time of year.”

The cafe wasn’t packed, but there was a noticeable number of ponies sitting at the various tables. Barrier only recognized a couple of the ponies from the party last night; there was Lyra, who Octavia said she had went to school with, and her mare-friend Bon Bon. They had been nice enough ponies, though Lyra was more than a little strange, occasionally staring off into space as if she could see something others couldn’t..

“Small town like this, it probably isn’t a terrible issue. It’s small enough that the weather is fully maintained so they should know when it’ll be painfully cold.”

“That makes sense I suppose.” Octavia glanced upward and took note of various pegasi manipulating clouds. “If only it were like this in Manehattan. Knowing the exact weather would be wonderful.”

“Huh, nimbostratus clouds. I suppose we’ll have some snow tonight. That’ll be nice. It’s been awhile since I saw any snow.”

“You know about clouds?” Octavia raised her eyebrow curiously.

“A little bit. Mostly just the different types of clouds by shape and size and the types of weather they’re capable of. Any pony ranked lieutenant or higher had to be somewhat familiar with them. Can’t launch an attack if it’s getting ready to hail and storm. Or you could, I guess. We more just planned around them and tried to use them to our advantage. Not sure about now, but Equestria used to be the only country with any real semblance of weather control.”

“That makes sense, I suppose.”

“What can I get you for you two today?”

“I’ll have a…” Barrier fell silent when he noticed the mare taking their order. “Berry Punch? I thought you were the innkeeper.”

The mare chuckled slightly. “Innkeeper for Ponyville? You two are the only ponies that have visited and stayed there in nearly six months. I work here most of the time.”

“I’ll have a cucumber and tomato sandwich, as well as a glass of water. My mouth is irritably dry for some reason.” The mare licked her lips in a futile effort to produce moisture.

“I’ll have the same as the lovely Octavia here.” Barrier smiled slightly at the mare, enjoying the faint blush.

“Hah, that’d be all the alcohol you drank last night.” Berry Punch turned to Octavia, completely disregarding the flirting stallion. “You might not remember it but you started drinking not too long Before Barrier and I finally called it a draw. Think that’s the first time I’ve ever been drank to a standstill, much less by a unicorn.”

Octavia blushed slightly and suddenly became very interested in the table.

“I’ll be right back with your orders.” the mare trotted into the building.

“Gotta say, I never pegged you for a drinker.” The unicorn chuckled slightly.

“I’m not. That was the first time I’ve ever drank more than a glass of wine.”

The two basked in pleasant silence for several minutes until Barrier glanced around the cafe, his eyes widening slightly in realization.

“Wow, how the hay did I miss that?”

“Miss what?” Octavia glanced around as well, trying to catch sight of whatever her companion had missed.

“Mares. Mares, everywhere.”

Octavia actually snorted at this and rolled her eyes at the stallion.

“Woah, woah, didn’t mean it like that.” He chuckled nervously and held his hooves out defensively in front of him. “I meant in general. Like eighty-percent of the ponies I’ve seen since my return have been mares.”

Octavia snorted again, though her gaze softened. “Not terribly surprising, I suppose. The gender-ratio in Equestria is roughly seventy-thirty mares to stallions.”

“That’s a lot of mares.” The unicorn chuckled once more, turning to greet Berry Punch who was now returning with their sandwiches and drinks, all balanced masterfully on her back. How is that mare even sober right now, much less working?

Octavia thanked the mare and turned back to her companion. “It’s gotten to the point that there are almost four mares to a herd.”

Levitating the plates from their waitress and thanking her, Barrier turned to Octavia. “The buck’s a herd?”

“I…how do you not know what a herd is?”

“Dunno, the term’s not terribly familiar. I can sort of guess what it is from your earlier statements, but it’s new to me. Remember, thousand years of no social activity. Sorta. Does Nightmare Moon count? Because she was kind of ranty.”

“Well, you’ve probably guessed correct. A herd is basically a stallion and two or more mares.”

“Uh, we don’t have to form one of those do we? I mean I might be able to get used to the idea in time, but I was raised on one mare and one stallion.” Barrier began to nibble absentmindedly at his sandwich, more interested in the conversation than food.

Taking a short sip of her water, Octavia shook her head, “We’ll see, Barrier. We’re not quite that far in our relationship just yet, but we can discuss it when we get there. I must say, I’m flattered though. There aren’t any other mares you would be interested in forming a herd with?” A wry smile worked it’s way onto her face as the gears in Barrier’s head began to turn.

The last comment brought to mind several mares, most of whom he didn’t know the name of. Vinyl Scratch is a lot of fun and I’d hit that if I weren’t spoken for… A brief flash of blue and the wonderbolt from the Gala showed up in his mind, the skintight uniform leaving little to the imagination.

“Not right off the top of my head, nope. You’re the only mare for me.” Barrier chuckled nervously, his sandwich suddenly becoming much more interesting.

“Good answer.” The mare replied with a slight smug grin as she turned to her sandwich.

“Thank you, I do try.”

The pair fell into silence and quickly finished their lunch.

“So…what do ponies do on vacation?”

“You know, I’m not actually sure. I suppose most ponies would sightsee, but there’s not a lot of notice in Ponyville beyond the Everfree Forest, and I’m afraid that’s not a terribly popular vacation spot.”

“You sure? There’s probably a few neat things to see in there. Maybe we could get a manticore or something for a pet.” A grin began to work its way onto his muzzle.

“I don’t think our lease allows for a manticore.”

The smile began to fade, “Well, crap.” only to crop back up a moment later. “Okay, so maybe not a manticore, but what about something else?”

Swallowing the last of her sandwich, the mare rested her chin on a hoof. “Do we really have the time to take care of a pet? We both work full-time. We’re home together maybe twice a week for any real period of time.”

“Mm, good question.” Barrier leaned back in the seat, levitating their plates onto each other and placing them in the center of the table with a pile of bits. “I think we could manage it if we both work for it. We do work full-time, but there is almost always one of us at home.”

“Fair enough. Well then, did you have anything in mind for a pet?”

“Mm, not sure. We can swing by Fluttershy’s place before we leave. Twilight said she has animals for adoption.”

“Oh, while I’m thinking about it, our lease is up two weeks after Hearth’s Warming Eve. Mr. Landlord wants to know whether or not we’ll be renewing.”

“Do we really want to? It’s a nice enough apartment, but the rent is kind of steep for what it is.”

“Yes, good housing isn’t particularly abundant in Manehattan, I’m afraid.”

“Well, we’ve got a bit of time to figure it all out. It’ll come together.” Draining the last of his water, Barrier stood upright and stretched himself out, yawning as he did so. “You know,” his eyes met Octavia’s as she stood up as well. “you’re a damn impressive mare.”

“Um, okay?” The pair trotted away from the cafe in no direction in particular.

“Sorry, it just sorta jumped out. It’s true, though. You work your flank off for everything you’ve got.”

“I didn’t want ponies to think I was riding out on my father’s fame and fortune.”

The idea was all too familiar with the feeling, though not to the extreme of Octavia. “Well, I admire the tar out of you for that.” Barrier smiled in satisfaction when the mares cheeks turned a dull shade of pink. I wonder how blush shows through our dark coats…? Shaking his head of the stray thoughts, he glanced up and realized they had walked to the edge of town, where the ‘inn’ was located.

“So, few hours of daylight left. What should we do with it?”

Glancing at the Everfree Forest in the distance, Barrier shrugged. “Well, we could go see Fluttershy about that pet.”

“You know where she lives?” Octavia raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

“She’s an element of harmony, close friend of my granddaughter and a national hero. It’s not really a state secret.”

“It’s not really common knowledge either.” Her gaze picked up in intensity.

“She’s a potential target for…well, a lot of ponies as well as other creatures. Just because I’m not a guard doesn’t mean I can’t stay well-informed.”

Trading the gaze for a smile, Octavia trotted off down the road. “Very well, let’s go adopt a pet. And no more stalking Twilight’s friends.”