Love? Barrier rolled the word around in his head a few times, thinking back to his past experiences with the emotion. Ultimately, he decided that he indeed had feelings for the mare, though he wasn’t sure if they extended quite that far yet. It hurt him, to think he might be falling for another mare so quickly after the death of his previous wife. One-thousand years for most ponies, less than eight months for him. Glancing at a nearby bar, Barrier contemplated a few drinks to help ease the thinking; the moment he took a step towards the bar, he could feel the back of his head hurting, as if Octavia had smacked him once again; horrible phantom pains, those. With a wince, he turned away from the bar and continued towards the castle and a mare who could hopefully help him.

“But Shiny, it was hilarious!” Cadance whined and slumped over the stallion’s desk.

“Do you have any idea what the guards are saying about those? Where did you even get the pictures?”

“I may or may not have put a camera in your parents’ bathroom. I think your grandpa knew about it, though.”

A solid clop could be heard as hoof-met-face.

Barrier knocked lightly on the door, entering as soon as Shining called him in. “What was that about pictures, Shiny?” Barrier bit back a grin, knowing what the stallion was talking about.

“Oh gods, just what I need, now the other one’s here. Were you in on this?” Shining gazed intensely at the stallion as he slid a folder of pictures foward. Opening the folder, Barrier chuckled and flipped through the pictures. “I didn’t have a part in this one, though I have been signing autographs on copies of this one,” Barrier held up a picture that depicted both Shining Armor and himself soaking wet and what looked to be wrestling with each other, “since I got to the front gate. Gotta say, I look damn good in some of these.”

Shining face-hooved again. “Of course you have. So, what felony did you commit this time?” Shining’s head plopped down on his desk, next to his wife.

“I may or may not have stolen Princess Celestia’s cake off of her dinner tray.”

Shining’s eyes bugged out and he jolted upright. “Are you out of your mind?!”

Both Barrier and Cadance were trying and failing to bite back laughter.

“Oh, I hate both of you.” Shining plopped down once more.

His laughter subsiding, Barrier patted Shining’s head gently. “There, there, Shining, I’m not here to make your life harder. I’m here to make your wife’s life harder.”

Cadance raised an eyebrow, her smile fading slightly.

Taking a deep breath and steeling himself, Barrier all but shouted, “I need advice. And possibly a psychiatrist, but definitely advice!”

“So, what is it you wanted to talk about?”

Barrier and Cadance had relocated to the mare’s bedroom in the castle; the sheer amount of pink was honestly making him a little nauseous.

“Well, I think I’m developing feelings for a pony.”

“The mare you were safeguarding, I assume? Miss Melody?”

“Yeah. I’m not actually sure what I feel for her though.”

“Well, imagine Octavia is leaving town and you’ll not see her again for an extended period of time, if at all. How does that make you feel?”

“Hollow, empty…the same way I felt whenever I would deploy for an extended mission back in the guard. I’ve a fairly good idea of what I’m feeling, just not sure how to approach it.”

“Talk to her about it.” Cadance giggled slightly at the brief look of confusion on the stallion’s face. “It’s surprisingly simple. You and her both feel much the same; you both feel the possibility of a relationship but are uncertain of how to approach it.”

“And you know she feels this way, how…?”

The mare gave her best deadpan stare.

“Right, stupid question.” Is it really that simple? Barrier shook his head slightly, amused at his own prior confusion. The best answers were almost always simple. “Okay, so that’s how I address the situation with Octavia, but how do I cope with myself?”

“That’s something only you can decide, I’m afraid. All I can do is give you my opinion on the matter.”

“Your opinion being…?”

“I never knew your wife, so I can’t say too much, but I like to think she would want you to move on and love again.” The mare finally stated, “The fact that it’s such an issue for you speaks volumes about the relationship you two must’ve had.” The mare’s gaze softened, “You’ll have to let go of the past, Barrier. Don’t ever forget her, but if you let these feelings of betrayal linger in you, then a relationship between you and Octavia will never work.”

Barrier found himself outside of the throne-room once more, even as the sun steadily disappeared beyond the horizon. He contemplated seeking advice from one of the few ponies who could help him, though now he was here, he found himself uncertain.

“Are you on the docket?”

A unicorn guard asked, glancing up lazily at the stallion. “No, I’ve not made an appointment, but tell her highness that Magic Barrier has come to ask a difficult question.”

The guard raised an eyebrow but shook his head. “If you’re not on the docket you can’t-”

While the unicorn was caught up in explaining why Barrier couldn’t see the princess, Barrier trotted past, the second guard making a move to stop him, only for Barrier to lock him in place with the usual glare. With a flare of his horn, the doors opened and the talking unicorn realized what was going on.

“Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave!” Suddenly his voice didn’t sound so bored.

Ignoring him, Barrier trotted into the throne room, both door-guards rushing in after him, spears ready.

“Apologies, princess,” Barrier glanced up at the regal mare, documents held in her magic as she took in the situation.

“Guards, stand down.”

“Not that I’m averse to seeing you, Magic Barrier, but what is the occasion?” The papers levitated to the side and the princess straightened up on her throne.

“I need to know how to let go of the past.”

With a knowing smile, the princess turned to her guards. “Guards, leave us. There is something we must discuss in private.” The guards saluted before filing out neatly.

“You should really get some of those guys checked. Your door-guards didn’t even realize what I was doing until I’d taken my first steps into the throne room.”

“There is little need for the heavily-trained guards of old, these days.”

“Fair enough, so, can you help me?”

“I’m afraid letting go of one’s past isn’t quite as easy as that, Barrier. For you, it’s far more personal of a subject. If I may, what has brought this on?”

Barrier gave a brief recounting of his discussion with Cadance and the feelings he feared he was developing, including the sudden sense of betrayal in his gut, as well as the frequent nightmares regarding his family.

The princess opened her mouth to speak, only for Barrier to cut her off.

“And before you mention it, no, your sister will not be welcomed into my dreams.”

The princess closed her mouth and frowned. “Do you hate Luna that much? You once served her with as much faith as you did me, did you not?”

“I killed foals because of the things she did while under the influence of the Nightmare, princess.” Barriers features hardened. “I killed thirteen colts and fillies because your sister had an emotional breakdown.” Barrier glanced hard at the princess, “For what it’s worth, I don’t blame her, but that doesn’t mean I forgive her, or you, princess.”

The princess sighed and slouched a bit. “Very well, Barrier, I will not force the issue. In response to your query, letting go is not something you can simply do. It requires time to grieve and ruminate. It’s not as easy as simply telling yourself to let go, unfortunately. Just remember, letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care anymore. “

Bowing his head respectfully, Barrier thanked the princess and departed, disregarding Princess Luna, who stood outside the throne-room entirely, a hurt expression on her face.

As he walked through Canterlot towards the Sparkle household, he couldn’t help but roll the thoughts over in his head. Despite knowing that Cadance had been right in her assumption of Radiant Smile, he still couldn’t get the feeling to dissipate from his gut and chest, and yet at the same time, he couldn’t convince himself to think differently of Octavia; he enjoyed the mare’s company and loved her personality; some part of him longed to pursue a relationship with the mare, regardless of the feelings.

After a quick dinner with the two eldest Sparkles, Barrier found himself falling onto Shining Armor’s old bed. This is pathetic. Dinner had been a mostly awkward and silent affair, as Barrier had been consumed by his thoughts for the majority of it; he was wondering how his wife would have judged his actions up to this point, aside from his developing feelings for Octavia. It wasn’t good; the mare had never been especially fond of alcohol, her father having been a mean drunk, and if she found out he had plotted to kill the princess…well, that wasn’t a pretty thought. It wasn’t until sleep came that Barrier found any semblance of peace.

Barrier once again found himself in the dreamscape. This however, wasn’t like the previous dreams; rather than the usual cold stone walls of the castle, Barrier found himself in the home he and Radiant Smile had shared; it was a nice change of pace, though his heart broke at the ghostly figure of his wife sitting in front of the crackling fireplace.

“Radiant Smile…” Barrier slowly approached the mare, taking a seat next to her, feeling the warmth of the fireplace. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for,” The ethereal voice responded; that was odd. She’d never spoken to him in the dreams and nightmares before.

“I have a lot to be sorry for. I wasn’t there for your or little Sparkle, to say nothing of the unfaithful thoughts I’ve been having about another mare.”

“I’m gone, Barrier. You have to let me go, Barrier. Do not close your heart, for my sake, please.” The ghostly figured steadily faded into nothingness.

“Thank you, Princess Luna.” Barrier spoke into the fireplace, disregarding the sudden gasp.

“How did thou know?” The mare suddenly materialized where the ghostly figure had been moments before.

“I’ve always been a lucid dreamer, princess. With lucid-dreaming and the magical capability, it’s trivial to detect magic tampering within a dream. Before now, my nightmares never talked to me.”

“We apologize for the deceit, Magic Barrier, but we overheard thy conversation with our sister earlier and wanted to try and help…” The mare gazed away uneasily.

“Believe me, if I didn’t know your intentions were pure, I very well might have attempted to kill you both in this dream and in the waking world.”

“We-”

Barrier held a hoof up, silencing the mare. “I hold no anger towards you for this event, Luna, I’ve come to a number of realizations today, one of which is how unfair I’ve been towards you, and to an extent, your sister.”

The mare remained silent, gazing into the fire as Magic Barrier continued.

“I can’t say I forgive you...hay, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you, but I’ll try, if only because Radiant Smile wouldn’t have wanted me to hold such a grudge.” Barrier sighed and stood upright, trotting away from the fireplace. “But know this, princess, should you or your sister ever fall like that again...I will not let another pony go through the same suffering I did, so long as I can help it. Should it come to the extent of Nightmare Moon, for you, or any other being of power...alicorn or not, I can and will kill them.” The tone left no real room for a rebuttal; it sounded like a simple statement of fact.

After nearly two minutes of silence, the princess nodded and stood up as well. “We thank thee, Magic Barrier. Should we ever fall that far again, we would be grateful for such a mercy.” Bowing her head, the princess’ horn flared to life dramatically and she steadily faded into oblivion.

With a weary sigh, Barrier sat down and prepared to wait out his dream, trying to decide how to discuss the subject with Octavia; he doubted it would be as easy as he had hoped.

Author's Notes:

Thanks To:

Alticron for getting me toilet paper last friday; that was a really awkward phone call, and Izanagi for bringing me the toilet paper. That was an awkward conversation through the bathroom door. True bros, these fellows. Oh, they're still editing/proofing as well.