A bright light filled Twilight's vision, slowly fading to reveal she was walking down one of the many corridors of Canterlot castle, side by side with Celestia. But it felt wrong as Celestia seemed much taller beside her, and her shorter than usual legs seemed to be moving of their own accord.

She tried to say something, but couldn't, her lips staying resolutely shut despite her every effort to say something, anything. All she could do was stay beside Celestia as they walked down the bright corridor. Then it occurred to her that she couldn't feel her wings.

"Twilight, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

What? There had been only one time when Celestia had ever asked her that, a couple of years after her apprenticeship under Celestia began. Was this a memory she was reliving? That might explain the lack of wings, and why she felt so short.

"I want to be your student forever!" she felt herself say, her mouth moving for her. Is that what I used to sound like?

Celestia chuckled, "As I am sure you would like to be, but you cannot stay a student forever."

"But I like learning. Are you saying I can't keep learning?"

"You will always be learning Twilight. Even now I still have much to learn."

Twilight's brow furrowed, "But you're the Princess! You know everything!"

"Nopony knows everything," Celestia said patiently.

"But you must know more than most ponies?"

A wry smile graced Celestia's muzzle, "Perhaps, but there are others that know as much, if not more. I'm still waiting for an answer Twilight; what do you want to be when you grow up?"

The little Twilight, as the older Twilight riding her couldn't help but think of her as, fell silent as she thought, while the older Twilight struggled to remember what she had said. "I don't know, I've never thought about it. I just like learning new things."

"Which is a fine thing Twilight, but knowledge for knowledge's sake is wasteful for somepony with your talents. You could pass that knowledge onto others."

"Like you're doing for me?"

"Yes Twilight, although I teach for a very different reason as I have less need to preserve that knowledge in others." Twilight could remember wondering what Celestia had meant by that for a long time. Now the answer was obvious. "Perhaps you could use your knowledge for other things."

"Like what?"

"Defending others. There are many dangers in our world Twilight, and it is the duty of those able to, to defend those who cannot."

"Like the Royal Guard? Like Shiny wants to be?"

"Quite so, although there are other ways as well, as I'm sure you'll find out." A sense of bitterness filled Twilight. With the gift of hindsight it was easy to see that Celestia might be hinting at something. Had she always known Twilight would ascend? Couldn't she have said so?

The memory faded, slowly being replaced with another. A star filled expanse surrounded Twilight, and she once again found herself walking beside Celestia, who was singing as they surveyed various moments of Twilight's life. It was the moment before her ascension.

Again, it felt wrong as she was forced into certain actions by the memory, and she found herself analysing everything. She felt wrong, like she wasn't really there. Now she was taking the time she realised just how barely there she felt, like she was little more than a ghost. Ethereal even. She hadn't noticed at the time due to what was going on, but now it nagged at her.

The moment of her ascension arrived, and a blob of purple energy left her, before surrounding her in a nexus of energy. All of a sudden she felt real, corporeal, and whole. No, not whole. More.

Again the memory changed, showing her the moment when she realised just how important her friends were to her as they faced down against Nightmare Moon. That same realisation that allowed them to reclaim the Elements and free Luna.

It was short lived as the memory shifted again, and she found herself atop the spire of the castle in the Crystal Empire. There was little to see, but she knew the exact moment it was as a wave of magic obliterated the dark crystals around her, leaving her coat with a crystal-like appearance. It was the moment that the Crystal Heart had been restored, and King Sombra utterly destroyed.

"Good job Spike." Twilight cringed as those words left her mouth. A pony had just been killed, and she was more concerned about passing her test. Sure Sombra was an evil tyrant, but surely he deserved a bit more consideration out of her than that?

The next memory showed her the moment at her brother's wedding that the changelings had been repelled from Canterlot by Shining and Cadence. She wasn't sure why it would show her an event she hadn't done herself. The changelings had been cast away, and that was it. Or was it?

Sweet apple acres, flooded, then frozen solid was the next sight she found, and she observed as she, along with most of her friends called for Discord to be petrified in stone again, only for Fluttershy to refuse them and keep her promise, even to the detriment of others. Fluttershy had been right though, and Twilight felt ashamed for both doubting Fluttershy, and for wanting to take the hardline option when it hadn't been necessary.

This time a purple skinned hand reached out in front of her to pull a teary eyed Sunset Shimmer from the crater at the front of Canterlot highschool. Twilight had taken pity on Sunset at that moment, a decision that had ended well as the flame haired girl was now one of her best friends.

Explosions burst around her as she fought Tirek, only to give up her magic, and the others, to save her friends. A decision that could've ended horribly as Twilight thought about it, not that she would do anything any different now. That sacrifice had led to them unlocking the chest and defeating Tirek.

Luna, Sombra, the changelings, Discord, Sunset, and Tirek. Saved, destroyed, banished, proven wrong by, mostly, redeemed, beaten and imprisoned. Was there a point to all this? A message or lesson?

Her next memory visited the night they took over Neigh Orleans, and more specifically, the fight with the hunters. Twilight hated the feeling of hopping about on three legs again, but that was secondary to watching the moment she had caved in that hunters skull. She hadn't wanted to do it, and watching from her current vantage point, realised she hadn't needed to. There were other things she could have done, but had been driven by fear and self preservation to kill that hunter.

The evacuation of Caverndown. Twilight killed ponies left, right, and center, and even as an observer she could see the necessity of it. She was defending others, and had been given no other choice.

The meeting where they had decided to send a tornado at the soldiers besieging Puddingarde. They hadn't had to do it, Twilight knew that, but they had anyway. They had chosen to use an extreme method to eliminate their enemies, which could've been argued as necessary, but not so necessary that they had no other choice. Was this all about choice? What Twilight was choosing to do? Or how?

She soared over the battlefield outside Puddingarde, a spike of anger hitting her even now as the soldiers down below fired on the rebels along with their own. She observed as she strafed the enemy ranks again and again, her chest tight with rage not currently her own. She had wanted to kill them, and she felt bad for feeling that way.

Time sped on a bit further to her fight with against Filigree and his guards, and lay there with a strange detachment as Filigree pushed his sword through her chest, pinning her to the wooden platform like a butterfly to a cork. She looked down at the small sliver of sword she could see before looking back at his expression of malignant glee.

"You could've just killed me from in the sky." Could she have? Definitely. Did she want to? No. Twilight didn't pay attention as Filigree's head burst like an overripe melon and sprayed her with blood. Killing the soldiers from a distance out of anger was one thing, but to kill Filigree from a distance was cold, dispassionate. It was different, even if she couldn't put a hoof on why.

Was this what all these memories were telling her? Had she fallen so far from the pony she had used to be? She never would've considered death as her first option before Mareitania. It hadn't even been something she chose for Sombra. It had just happened through events very much out of her control. Was killing ponies without caring one way or another the next stop on her downward spiral?

She didn't want it to be. She didn't want to be like that. Celestia had asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, and even though that answer may have been decided for her, she was still proud of who she was and what she did. She helped ponies, protected them, and even if that meant the death of a pony it shouldn't be something she did lightly. She needed to fix this before it got out of hoof.

Trixie screamed at her to stay awake, and a small hint of fear started to percolate in her as the body she was inhabiting started to fail. Her body. As the black around her vision grew ever bigger, the one thing that should have been more important than the others came back to the forefront of her mind.

She was dead.

And yet she was still here.

Time felt meaningless as it felt she had been there for both seconds and eons, but time of some sort must have passed as she felt herself become more than just a conscience floating through emptiness, reliving old memories. She started to feel like she had a body again, along with all the senses having one provides. She slowly cracked her eyes open, not sure what she would see.

She certainly didn't expect to see Discord.

"Congratulations Twilight! You finally popped your death cherry!" He stuck a party hat on her horn and threw some confetti at her.

"Yaah! Discord!" Twilight took a moment to catch her breath, only to realise she didn't need to as she wasn't breathless in the slightest. "What are you doing here? What do you mean by death cherry? Where are we?"

Discord held up a single digit of his eagle claw to her lips, "Hush Twilight."

"Why?"

Discord just looked disappointed. "Why does that never work?" He swept an arm around at the starry expanse that looked much like the dreamscape. "Welcome back to the astral realm Twilight."

"The astral realm? But this looks like the dreamscape."

"While they bare some similarities they are in fact rather different. The dreamscape is pretty self explanatory, and connects the sleeping minds of ponies, but the astral realm is many things. It's a wellspring of cosmic... stuff, that binds all creatures together, even after death."

"You mean this is like the afterlife?"

Discord hesitated, "Yeeeessss... But then again, no. Perhaps calling it the afterlife for immortals would be more apt."

"You do realise that's kind of a contradiction right?"

"Oh I am very aware of that Twilight, but I can only tell you what it is with this clumsy form of communication we're lumbered with. If we could express language in multiple dimensions I'd still struggle. Perhaps calling it a waiting room might do."

Twilight sighed, accepting that she wasn't likely to get much more of an answer. "Fine. So what are you doing here?"

"Why I'm here for my good friend Twilight of course. Why else?"

"Uh-huh... And how have I 'popped my death cherry, exactly?'"

"Because you're dead Twilight. I shouldn't have to mince words to explain that to you I hope." He lifted Twilight and balanced her on his tail at the middle of her back before pointing to the neat little hole just below her ribcage. "Skewered right through like a griffish kebab."

Twilight felt the hole with her hoof, and her throat tightened up. "I'm really dead?"

"Oh don't feel too bad about it Twilight, it's not the end of the world. Well, for you anyway."

Celestia's voice echoed around them, "Discord!"

Discord folded his arms and pouted. "And now I guess the fun's over."

Celestia and Luna faded into view, walking with a serene calmness that contrasted with the expression of annoyance they shared. "You promised you wouldn't do this Discord."

"Oh, did I? I must've had some fingers crossed or something. Not something you ponies would understand."

"Discord..."

Discord held up his appendages in surrender and floated back a little. "Fine, I'll just amuse myself over here while you have your 'serious' discussion." He pulled a fishing rod and chair out from behind his back and made himself comfortable before casting his line out into the starry expanse.

Twilight looked up at Celestia, her eyes stinging with tears. "Was Discord telling me the truth? I'm really dead?"

"I'm afraid he wasn't lying about that, but it is not so final as you might believe. Walk with us." The three of them started pacing through the empty expanse, and even though they were clearly moving, they didn't seem to get anywhere, and Discord never seemed to get any further away.

"What's going on Celestia? How can I be dead, but still be here?"

"Because you're an alicorn Twilight, and alicorns are immortal."

"But I'm dead!"

"Not entirely. This isn't the first time you've died either. Or the second."

"Huh?"

Celestia hummed to herself, "Twilight, do you remember your ascension, when you first visited this place?" Having relived the memory quite recently Twilight did, and said so. "While you wouldn't have noticed, the Elements actually destroyed your body, killing you."

"Really? But why would they do that?"

"Because unicorn bodies aren't made to bear wings. You would've needed a new one suitable."

Twilight couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Did this happen to Cadence too?"

"I do believe so, yes. Pegasi skulls aren't exactly designed to bear horns. If an earth pony were to ascend I imagine they would need a new body also. Obviously, you don't have to include the Elements of Harmony in the process, as Cadence proved."

"This is insane... So when was the second time I died?"

"During your escape from Caverndown, the first time you were there. I assume your companions told you that you were badly injured?"

"Yeah, Fleur said she thought I had died."

"And indeed you did, but the damage was repaired quick enough to forego a visit here."

"Why am I here?"

"Right now your body, even though it may appear lifeless, is in a form of magical stasis, rapidly trying to repair itself so it's liveable again."

"It is? How?"

"As I'm sure you're aware after your leg, you are capable of amazing feats of healing."

"But I was still alive during that! Oh Celestia that sounds weird to say..." She noticed Celestia quirk an eyebrow at her, "Sorry."

"We call it our second soul," Luna said, taking over the explanation. "It's a part of us that tends to healing our injuries. You'll have to forgive us Twilight, as this is difficult to describe. While you are here, your second soul is working to heal your injuries, down to the merest scratch, and once it has done you will return to the land of the living."

"You mean this second soul heals all my injuries?"

"Quite so, but only if you truly die do you come here. I'm not sure if you've noticed, but the more severe an injury, the swifter it seems to heal."

"So, you're saying that the injury that killed me-"

"Will be repaired very quickly, along with all other wounds as part of the stasis."

"But something like my leg would take longer as it's not fatal, if my studies are to be believed."

"Studies?"

"I'm trying to replicate alicorn healing, but while I have the healing aspects of the spell down, it still doesn't work."

Celestia nodded, "You aren't the first to try, believe me. The problem you have is the spell lacks the guidance of an entity like our second soul. Without that you're practically trying to heal through wishful thinking."

Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully, "Is it possible to replicate a second soul?"

"Possibly, but we've never succeeded. Don't let that discourage you from trying though as you may find new insight we don't have."

"Okay. Sooo... what if my body had been completely destroyed? Would I get a new one like during my ascension?"

"We don't know. Neither of us as ever been injured to such a degree. I believe we would, but Luna believes that we would be reborn as foals through reincarnation, after our second soul finds a suitable host."

"I see." Twilight hugged herself, betraying how much she really didn't understand much of what was going on. How was she meant to feel about this? Sitting here in the astral realm, being told that she's dead, but that it wasn't permanent. A mere setback.

Luna sighed, "Twilight, do you truly realise what this means?"

"It means I can't die, even though I can? I don't know."

"No you cannot permanently be killed, true, but this doesn't mean you're invulnerable either. We don't know why you died-"

"Puddingarde was under siege, and I got killed taking out the enemy leader."

"Is that so?" Luna made a face at Twilight, "Perhaps you might have mentioned this?"

Twilight grinned apologetically, "I didn't want to freak you out..."

"Because dying was a far better alternative." Luna shook her head, "It doesn't matter. My point is Twilight, is that you are still vulnerable. You can be beaten. Do you know where your body is now?"

"How should I know that!?"

"What's the last you remember?" Twilight described it as best she could. "You are fortunate then. If the enemy had recovered your remains you would be waking up in their custody, trapped there, much like Faust." Twilight noticed Celestia turn away with a scowl upon hearing that name, but said nothing.

"And what if I drown? Or if I'm frozen or something?"

"We don't know."

"Then how the hell do you know that any of what you're saying is true?"

Luna smirked playfully at Twilight, "Do you recall me telling you I lost an ear during the battle to free the Crystal Empire?"

"Yes."

"Even though Sombra was defeated, he gave me a parting gift. The lost ear was rather secondary to the length of crystal that I was impaled upon. That is when we learnt about all this."

"Oh." Twilight looked back to where Discord was still fishing, humming a happy little tune to himself even while his ears were unsubtly orientated towards the three alicorns. She looked back when Celestia pressed a hoof to her shoulder.

"Twilight, I still don't think you fully understand what we're telling you. There's a darker side to all this."

"You mean like a price?"

"Not exactly. To think of it in those terms, the price of our immortality is not being able to die."

Twilight blinked. "Well, yeah."

"Even if you want to," Luna added sadly.

Twilight paused, "What do you mean?"

"There may come a point in your life when you will have had enough," Luna explained. "You'll just want it to end. I reached that point in the years before I became Nightmare Moon, where I was consumed by jealousy and depression. Becoming her wasn't my first option Twilight, death was. I was denied though. I know I told you of my actions leading up to the event, but I didn't tell you all."

Celestia bumped her shoulder against Luna's. "I reached my limit after Luna turned and I was forced to banish her, my own sister. I wanted to do nothing but die, but couldn't. I know I taught you about the decade of unrest following Luna's banishment."

"Equestria was torn apart by infighting between various political factions."

"It was, and I'm to blame. I secluded myself away and left Equestria to its own devices because I just did not care. I could've fixed it overnight if I wanted, but didn't as I was too consumed by my own grief. It took Starswirl to finally drag me out of my misery."

"I see. So you're saying that while I can die, I have no choice but to come back?"

Celestia smiled sadly, "Do you remember that song I played for you once? Hotel Gallophornia?" Twilight nodded. "Well it's like the song says, 'you can check out, but you can never leave.'"

"Alicornhood is as much a curse as it is a blessing," Luna added.

Twilight wanted to ask how they managed to go on after so long, but didn't as the answer was pretty obvious; they had no choice. She couldn't even speculate how she would cope through the ages. She hadn't even come to terms with the idea of outliving her friends, let alone living forever.

"Does Cadence know about this?" she asked Celestia.

"Not yet. We will tell her when the time is right, although if you wish to tell her yourself that is your choice entirely. The truth is I fear telling her."

"You do?"

"She's the alicorn of love Twilight, she lives, breathes, and thrives off it. How much will it hurt her to see her lovers grow old and die, time and again? It'll only be worse for her to watch her child grow old, unless the child also ascends."

"Don't talk about Shining like that!" Twilight shouted, although she knew how empty her words sounded, and how true Celestia's were.

"I am sorry Twilight, but you will have to learn to accept the truth."

"And what if I don't want to be an alicorn any more?" Twilight snarled angrily.

"I'm afraid that choice is no longer yours. Even without me and Starswirl's spell, it was highly likely you would've ascended at some point in your life. All ponies have the potential, though some have more than others, like yourself and Sunset Shimmer."

Twilight grit her teeth, trying to hold back the storm growing within her. She never asked to ascend in the first place, and now she was stuck like this forever. It wasn't fair.

"Honestly, are you two trying to depress the poor mare?" Discord drifted over and stood beside Twilight with his claws on his hips. "Telling her she's basically cursed to roam the world until the end of days. Shame on you both." Discord picked Twilight up and carried her away from the others before setting her down and pulling a handkerchief out of his ear and holding it out to her.

"It's not all terrible Twilight, trust me," he said after giving Twilight a moment to calm down. "Once you've lived as long as I have the idea of dying actually becomes rather off-putting. I mean, I can't die, but the thought is there."

"How old are you?"

"Ancient Twilight. I actually make Celestia and Luna seem young in comparison, although I wasn't aware of it at the time."

"Huh?"

"I was a being of chaos long before I became Discord, but I was more a force of nature instead of the gloriously gorgeous draconequus I am today, and I can't tell you how amazing it is to see the world changing through the ages. Did you know ponies were once primitives with barely a brain cell between them? They were much taller too. I never would have predicted that they'd evolve into tiny little ponies of such variety and intellect."

"You watched ponies become what they are today?"

"Oh indeed. I even pushed things a little, such as giving you your amazing variety of colours. The plain old whites, browns, greys, and blacks of primitive ponies was just so very dreary."

"You helped create modern ponies?"

Discord held two fingers just apart from each other. "Only very slightly, to make things interesting. Most of the work was done by good old trial and error, and survival of the fittest."

"So I guess the legend about the golden tree was definitely wrong then."

"Hmm... half true. Modern pony might have woke up under the tree, but it was ancient pony that fell asleep under it, so to speak. The tree was harmony's doing anyway; nothing to do with me. I wasn't too bothered when it died as the fruit was like poison to a being like myself."

"Who was harmony?"

"My counterpart. Balance in all things Twilight. Anyway I rather think I've told you enough now. It's up to you to find a way to cope with the passage of time Twilight. I suggest you take the time to enjoy the little things in life, as they really do make it worth living. I wish I'd learnt that a couple of millenia ago." He pointed to Twilights chest, "It seems you're almost all healed up so I think it's time for you to go." Twilight brushed a hoof down her chest, finding that the hole had disappeared.

"Why are you helping me so much Discord? First when my leg went bad, and now this."

"Because you're my friend?" Discord said hopefully. Twilight cocked her head and narrowed her eyes slightly in obvious disbelief. "What? I'm not lying! Fine... I'll be honest with you Twilight. I find you to be fascinating, which is rare for an ancient being like myself. It took Celestia and Luna years to beat me, whereas you, a mere unicorn, managed it in an afternoon. Now, it is well past time I was off as I have tea with Fluttershy planned for later. Ta ta!"

Twilight sat watching the spot Discord had vanished from, quietly ignoring the two alicorns that had walked up behind her. "Why? Why are we forced to live like this?" she asked after a while.

"We don't know," Celestia answered her. "We suspect it has something to do with the Tree of Harmony, but that's just speculation."

"We are sorry about this Twilight," said Luna. "There isn't a very pleasant way of explaining this unless we don't tell you the whole truth, but you deserve to know it, all of it. Even the stuff we don't know."

"Cadence deserves to know too, but I'm not going to tell her before you do." Twilight stopped as a sensation of being pulled away filled her. She resisted it. "Any advice for coming back from the dead?"

"Don't go for the zombie-pony routine as you will likely find yourself killed again rather quickly," said Luna, the hint of a mischievous grin on her face. "Seriously though, returning to your body isn't pleasant, as for all intents and purposes it's, well... dead. You'll want to find a warm blanket as soon as possible, and maybe some hot cocoa. I'm afraid that asking me to describe the process to you isn't going to be enough to prepare you though."

Twilight nodded morosely. "Celestia?"

"Yes Twilight?"

"Are you angry at me for the Faust thing?"

Celestia hung her head, her mane drifting down to cover her eyes. "I'm not mad at you Twilight, and I'm sorry for how I acted, but it's not every day that you get told something like that. I'm still not sure what I believe now, although some things do make more sense with this new context, like why we were alicorns when our mother wasn't."

"Our mother was an alicorn Celestia." Luna pointed out.

"Luna, please, don't." Celestia raised her head again and gave Twilight small smile, "But no, I'm not angry with you."

"That's good." The pull grew stronger, and Twilight found herself having to fight it to stay in the astral realm. "I think I'm going to have to go now. Best get this over with. I am curious though, how did you know I had died?"

"We felt it," said Celestia, "as you would feel it if one of us died." That made as much sense as anything Twilight had been told, but before she could say anything a wave of tiredness washed over her. All she could do was mumble as her vision again faded to black, blocking the sight of the two princesses watching her with concern as she surrendered to the inevitability pulling at her.

"Do you think we ought to have told her of Spike's trip to the dragon lands?"

Celestia shrugged, "I suspect she has bigger concerns now. Rainbow Dash and Rarity will take good care of him."

Cold. That was the first thing Twilight noticed upon waking. She would have shivered but she was too stiff to even manage that. Instead she focused on breathing with a body that felt like it had forgotten how to. Each breath was an effort of will as she lay there, feeling like a stranger in her own body.

She cracked her eyes open, and they stung even in the dark. Somepony had placed a shroud over her, and she was unable to even attempt to move it. She waited, hoping that she might be able to try and move a leg, but that seemed almost impossible at the moment.

As life crept back into her limbs she became aware of a weight pressing down on one of her forehooves, and the sound of tears reached ears that felt like they had been stuffed with cotton wool. That sounds like Trixie.

She tried to speak, but her mouth was dry as a desert, while her tongue felt like a dead fish that had been shoved into her mouth. She stayed quiet as she tried to work some moisture onto her tongue and around her lips.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there Twilight. I'm sorry, I failed you..."

"Trixie?" Twilight croaked, the two syllables feeling like torture on her dry throat.

"Gyaah!"

Suddenly there was no more weight on her hoof.

Author's Notes:

All of the stuff I've written here was something I've intended since early in the story, but now I'm doing it I have to confess to not being entirely happy with the result. I'm not totally adverse to info dumps, but that's what this turned into. At the same time, I can't think of any better way to do this.

That said, Twilight's back! Probably far sooner than is dramatically appropriate, but wotevs.

Next chapter will be a while, as I'm not even half way through writing it.