Fate's Stand-in

by Reykan

Chapters

• Prologue: Fought valiantly. Lost anyway.
• A (Luke)warm Welcome
• Survey
• The Monster that is Paperwork
• Conspiracy
• Five points to Pinkie Pie

Prologue: Fought valiantly. Lost anyway.

Raymond Matthews, currently assuming the name Recon to lesson suspicion, sat just outside of the train station. He was sitting near the train that was supposed to take him to Vanhoofer while allowing the sun to warm him as he pondered his current dilemma. The same train that was currently belching an ungodly amount of black smoke. Odd, considering he was certain the train ran on ninety percent pure magical-bullshit.

Sure the grey furred and white maned pegasus thought it was nice to get off the train after a few hours and stretch his legs and fake-wings (stretching the real things was a good way to get himself killed). However that didn't change the fact that he was in a bad way. Honestly, it didn't surprise him that the steam-and-magic powered engine had sprung a gasket just outside of the town before him. Nor did it come as a surprise when the engineers announced that the repairs would take four days, one day longer than his dwindling reserves of currency would allow him to book a hotel for. It was depressing in a soul-crushing, inevitable kind of way. He spent so much time and went so far out of his way to avoid this place. Yes, there was the possibility of answers, but with them came other possibilities. Death, War, Wrath of Gods and Demi-gods alike, invasions, imprisonment, and morning people. Raymond suppressed a shudder at that last one. The first four he'd come to accept as a hazard of this world, this realm, this, whatever he'd happened to stumble across.

'Eat right, exercise daily, get killed by a random boss battle regardless.'

The fifth was the unfortunate downside to the species the cosmic lottery had saddled him with.  While his research on changelings was mostly self-inflicted, he was happy to have found none of the negative effects that he'd worried about harming his coworkers with. No unexplained fatigue, no depression, no headaches. Not at the minimal drain he was putting on them at least. Add to the fact that he was still capable of feeling emotions, even if they did nothing for him personally, and it wasn't so bad. Even better, there had been no major incidents lately that brought changelings to the public eye. In fact, for the common folk changelings were mythological at best and to be hunted at worst. The former he would encourage the belief of, and the latter he would avoid like Call of Duty fans. As for morning people; who in their right mind would waste such perfect sleeping hours?

That wasn't to say he was all humbug and no spirit. This world was fascinating in it's own right. Magic and technology, side by side. Creatures he'd only dreamed of seeing wandering the market as if it were an everyday occurrence; hell, for them it was. Airships, those big floaty things that make an appearance in many magic fantasies? Raymond could now list riding on one of those under things he'd experienced. Magic spells? It was way out in the woods, and self taught, but he set a bush or four on fire. Sure, it wasn't the awe inspiring explosion of thaumaturgical mastery he'd been aiming for, but that little pop and the ensuing brushfire was more than he'd ever hoped to accomplish. Freakin' hard to learn and complicated as all get out but still doable.

Ah yes, that too; there were also the more subtle things. It had taken a while but Recon had found his exploitation of expletives curbed. In some ways it was a boon as it kept him out of trouble. Sometimes though, there just wasn't any substitute for dropping a string of curses that would make the most hardened sailors stare in shock. One merely had to employ the proper amount of willpower to overcome the filter.

Then there was that destiny crap. He had learned that the way of the world was a bit different than what he was used to. While Fate was seemingly content to leave people alone on Earth or keep to the background the same could not be said here. In fact, Fate went out of it's way to let you know where it wanted you. At first it was simple. Wanted adds that had easy positions and advertisements for cheap housing in certain places. Things you would dismiss as good luck.

"Sorry, Recon, we just don't need a number cruncher here anymore." His boss, a friendly fellow by the name of Game Plan, Director of Two Song's Postal services said. "I hear they had a position open up in Ponyville, though. Would be right up your ally!"

But Recon had no desire to be there, and had thusly ignored the carrot. So Fate hit him with the stick.

"I'm sorry sir, we don't need anyone of your talent set. I heard the place down the street is looking for a janitor, though. The pay's not as good, but I've heard it's all that's available at the moment."

Then it got a metal rod when that didn't work.

Recon stared at the apartment. It wasn't nice, it wasn't clean, but it was all he could afford with his current job. Hell, if his food bill was normal, he wouldn't even be able to afford this much. At least it was his. After the nightmare that was his first day on his most recent job, sleep would be wonderful.

It was then, as the changeling cuddled into his matress for a good night's sleep, that Recon learned that the apartment was set near railroad tracks.

Then it threw a couple of chairs, a table, and a full dish set at him.

The interviewer looked at him from across the desk with an almost bored expression. Almost, because he was apparently nearing the end of his shift if the way his eyes were glued to the clock was anything to go by.

"My apologies sir, but the position you're applying for requires 3 references we can validate, a full background check, your birth certificate, a copy of your citizenship papers, a doctorate in philosophy, and a small foal."

"Oh, oka-wait, what was that last one?"

"A copy of your citizenship papers?"

"No, uh... never mind. Thank you for your time."

"Please, don't mention it." As soon the stallion thought Recon was out of earshot, he heard the stallion mutter to himself "Blasted duster trying to steal Unicorn jobs..."

The last guy found out what was worse than his wife divorcing him for cheating on her with another stallion; the wife approving and wanting the second stallion to join their family. No, Recon had nothing to do with that, why would anyone think that? He also wasn't the one who dropped the anonymous note detailing where the rendezvous that he did not set up wasn't going to occur.

One thing he learned fairly quickly as a changeling; one's sexuality could be repressed for the good of the mission. Though he did need a long, hot shower after his uninformed assistant tried to get a little too touchy. And maybe a bit of brain-bleach.

Recon had his share of bad luck throughout his life. Heck, he knew his bad luck tended to come in waves. Sit tight and it would wash over, things would become somewhat normal again. Not so this time. Bad luck and more bad luck. Could it even be considered 'luck' at this point? That only happens a few times before one gets suspicious. He was well beyond that at this point. Whatever being or force was pushing him along had a location in mind. An obvious one. That didn't mean he was going to go along with Fate's plans, oh no sir-ree! He'd fight till his last breath. Like the defenders of the Alamo, like the three hundred Spartans , like the Russians at Stalingrad! To the death!

Like a rat in a science lab.

"Well, fuzz-nuggets"

Staring at the subject of his ire, he could only wonder why, despite how hard he had tried to avoid this place, despite how far he went out of his way to avoid this blasted town, he still ended up here. Sometimes, Fate could be a real pain in the flank...

Ass. He wanted to think ass, not flank. Stupid passive magic field.

A (Luke)warm Welcome

Raymond huffed in irritation as the smoke from the boiler finally started to die down. It wasn't that he was paranoid or anything, really he wasn't. It's not paranoia if fate is actually trying to screw with you.

"Yes sir, I'm certain it will actually take three to four days before the part arrives. Yes, we'll warn you before we leave. Yes, I promise," Recon muttered in a perfect facsimile of the engineers voice. It was bullshit and he knew it. He'd been left behind before after such promises when fate didn't want him to go somewhere, when it wanted him to stay in a certain location or didn't want him going somewhere else.

He made it a few paces down the road before he ran into the first of...them. It was a pink mare with a darker pink mane. Unlike her reaction in all of the stories though, she looked less than happy to see him.

"You shouldn't be here," Pinkie Pie said with a scowl.

"I know," Recon responded, walking right by the mare. "If I had a say in it, I'd be anywhere but here. As it stands, my train died right at the station and now I'm stuck here until they get it fixed."

There was a horrific bang from behind him and the disguised changeling stopped, falling onto his flank and hanging his head in defeat.

"You mean the train that's currently speeding down the tracks while on fire as the conductor tries desperately to catch up to it?" Pinkie asked, watching the debacle in confusion.

Max sighed before turning around, catching the last glimpse of the train as it tore down the tracks. While on fire.

"Yea, that train. I knew something like this would happen. This is just great, my stuff was on that train. I left it on there so they couldn't leave without me."

"You mean that stuff that's sitting on the train tracks right there?" the mare added, now more in curiosity then hostility.

Recon's eyes widened and he rushed over to his gear, checking them for any tears or breaks. Finding none, he opened a single bag and made sure his only jar of emotion was undamaged. It wasn't much, but it could tide him over for a week if he stretched it. That would be in a place devoid of happiness and other generally positive emotions, though. It was doubtful he'd even need it in a friendly rural town.

'Better to have and not need, though.'

"Are you an evil alchemist? Is that what that muscle twitch has been telling me? I get it every now and again and it's usually ponies who act weird and don't ever want to be my friend and I'm sorry that your train left you but at least you still have your stuff and-"

"It's fine," Recon said quietly. "I've been avoiding whatever's going on here for the last few weeks. I might as well see what's wrong. Oh, and I'm not an evil Alchemist. Just an alchemist. I do a bit of mixing to pass the time. It's actually kind of fun finding out what you can make with just the things you find in your back yard or growing in the basement."

Technically true. He often passed the emotion off to the casual observer as something he mixed up and with the other things in his bag as well as the book on basic alchemy he'd been browsing it had even passed the inspection of royal guards.

Pinkie hummed to herself in thought as she helped move the stuff off of the tracks.

"I suppose, but only if you Pinkie Promise not to be a baddy. I mean, you're already acting different from the others that set off my Pinkie Sense. Most were like, 'Mwahahaha!' and I was like, 'You shouldn't be here!' and they'd be like 'Oh noes! We've been found out!' and they jump back on the train and leave. Of course, you want to leave, but the train left without you and you haven't been acting all fidgety-widgety around me."

"I would, but I kinda' lack pinkies. Maybe a hoof promise?" Recon offered instead, proffering said hoof.

"Pinkies? Oh, you mean like the tiny finger minotaurs have? No, I mean a Pinkie promise, one that I enforce! I'll know if you break it, mister... oh gosh I didn't even ask and now I need to say it but I don't have it and-"

"Recon. I'm Recon. Pleasure to meet you," he interrupted, still holding out his hoof.

"Okay, well I'm Pinkie Pie, though my friends call me Pinkie. Right then. A Pinkie Promise goes like this. Cross my heart, hope to fly," she explained, going through a series of strange motions. It was even stranger that she was asking a pegasus to say 'hope to fly'. "Stick a cupcake in my eye."

Her recitation of the oath complete, she tapped her eye with her hoof, expertly remembering to keep the eye closed in the process.

Raymond pondered traumatizing the mare with his own variation of that oath but ended up deciding against it.

"I, Recon, do solemnly swear that I mean no harm - physically, mentally, or magically- to any resident of Ponyville. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye," he repeated, managing not to stab himself in the eye with his hoof. He'd done that plenty of times in the past while trying to wipe sleep gunk out of them or just rubbing them while tired. That seemed to ease most of the pink mare's fear, though she still was radiating a bit of doubt in his presence.

'Something that I'll either be able to ignore until I can get out of here or that I'll have to work on later. Either way...'

"So do you know where the Town Hall is? I'd like to see if there's a hotel around, maybe a job-board until the next train comes through," he asked, throwing his saddlebags over his back.

"Well, I think the mayor may have something she needs done, but you may not even get to see her. She'd kinda busy right now. As for hotels...there's one, but I think it's booked for the Summer Sun Celebration."

The stallion blinked before face-hoofing in irritation. This was exactly the time he wanted to avoid Ponyville; when shit started hitting the fan. Never the less he continued moving towards the center of town.

"Okay, Pinkie. Is there anything that you can think of off the top of your head that may be...off? I mean, something's gotta be up for such a strange line of occurrences to occur to drag me here."

Taking off in the direction he assumed was towards the center of town turned out to be the wrong answer, as he ended up nearly wandering right back out of the town. In fact, if not for his self-appointed keeper he'd likely never had found the Town Hall. There were no distinguishing features and it was far from the biggest building in town. That title belonged to the large tree down the road that was most likely Golden Oak library.

Grabbing a town map from just inside as well as a few help-wanted fliers, Recon became increasingly irritated as he read through them. Most were expired or asking for ridiculous things. Who needs someone with a master's level license  in plumbing to fix a leaky sink? Who asks for a licensed apothecary to make a balm for irritated hooves when there's a medical facility right down the road, one that's cheap if not outright free because most of their funding comes from the crown? What the heck, ponies?

Hovering down the hallway while holding onto a few of the less ridiculous adds in his hooves he stopped in front of an open door, having been slapped by two dueling auras of irritation and anger.

Inside the office was an older mare with toffee colored fur and grey mane. The golden spectacles sitting on her muzzle certainly added an air of importance to her presence, as did the confident tone with which she spoke.

The second person, a Pegasus in a business suit, was exactly the kind of pony he went out of his way to avoid. It was an office goon, one much like the unicorn who'd snubbed him in Trottingham.

'Likely has the same opinion of unicorns as that unicorn had of Pegasi, too,' he thought to himself with a suppressed chuckle.

"I was sent here for a report, how am I supposed to get a report if you can't direct me to the proper pony?" The stallion ranted, his primaries splaying slightly in agitation.

"Get out. When the weather factory finds a pony capable of using logic, they can come back and talk to me. I'm not going to spend my day talking circles with a stallion who can't be bothered with reality," the mayor responded, pushing a small stack of papers back to the Pegasus.

The stallion huffed and took the papers under a wing, grumbling as he left and knocking Recon out of his way as he stomped out of the office.

"Nice guy," the disguised stallion offered dryly.

"Indeed. I don't think I've seen you before, is there something you need?" Mayor mare asked, readjusting her spectacles.

Recon shook his head.

"Just blew into town today. Train kinda died on the tracks, then exploded and tore off down the tracks minute I was clear of it."

The mayor laughed, opening a drawer and drawing a folder.

"You're one of those. Fate wants you to go somewhere, but you can't stand the idea of not being in control. When did you first get an opportunity to come to Ponyville? It may not have been a very good one so think hard."

Recon scowled, his muzzle twisting in thought. He remembered a few of the chances and opportunities, but the first one? That had to be...

"An add for Mr Rich's convenience store, I think there was an employment opportunity circled on the paper I was reading, but I've never been a fan of that kind of work."

"Truly? Strange, usually the job is an almost perfect fit for a pony," the mayor muttered, looking through the folder. "Ah, here we go- oh wow, two years ago? Ha, you avoided it longer than most ponies I know. Most fold the first time things go wrong. Even the stubborn ones tend to figure it out fairly quickly. Is there a reason you've avoided Ponyville?"

"I've heard things are going to get crazy after the Summer Sun festival," Recon replied. Not completely true but as they say, the best lies...

"I'd rather not get involved when the mare who predicts that kind of craziness finds a city being attacked by monsters to be an everyday occurrence. If monster attacks are normal, what would she list as crazy?"

"My, it must be a horrible place," the earth pony replied in confusion and a bit of worry.

The changeling shook his head.

"Not too bad, the town had their own personal superheroes. Funny thing was they were little girls; sugar, spice, everything nice, the whole nine yards. I don't think this crazy will be kaiju of the week crazy, but I was trying to avoid it altogether."

The mayor nodded sympathetically.

"Not always possible though. Still, I appreciate the honesty. I think our disaster-response policy is a bit outdated so I'll get Cherry to take a look at it for me."

Tapping her table in thought, Mayor Mare smiled.

"Perhaps you can help me with something until you find something more suited to your talents?"

Survey

It was a bit odd that the mayor seemed eager to get his help with something and voicing his worry garnered a response that didn't set him at ease.

"I can't get anypony to agree to help with it. Everypony's comfortable with their current jobs, so while there are delays because of this, it really hasn't warranted much thought. Well, until recently. The Weather Factory is trying to charge us for weather we never received, so that brings up a few questions and makes this a bit more important."

Opening a door down the hall and flicking on a light, the mayor stepped into what looked like an abandoned office. Papers were scattered about while the dusty desk held several large stacks of forms. Recon winced as he stepped on something under the layer of paper, a muffled crunch followed by a bloom of ink under his hoof.

"We haven't had a pony running this office since our old weather-manager quit. Something about it being the right time or something like that. There have been a few Pegasi who I've hired as temporary workers but they always seem to leave the place in worse condition."

Turning to him, the mayor gave him a tired stare.

"If you can fix this up, the job is yours. I'm tired of not having a pony I can get reports from about weather activity stationed here in the town hall. I have to call the captain of the weather team for that at the moment and she's more likely to be napping than actually finishing her reports."

Recon's understanding of the situation as he looked about the room only increased his worry about the job. It was a dump. A light was flickering, likely from age as much as anything else. There was a smell, the scent of something long-forgotten under the layers of forms and reports that likely was not fit to see the light of day ever again. But it was better than unemployment at the moment.

"Do you have a maximum time you keep reports for or do you want me to save all that I can and organize by year?"

The earth pony giggled, clopping her forehooves together.

"You have no idea how good it is to hear you ask that. You have experience with this?"

"Bit of time in manehatten with a weather bureau," he answered distractedly while lifting a few papers in an oddly shaped pile. He gagged, dropping them back on top of the Hayburger bag as a fresh wave of death escaped from underneath the pile.

The mayor coughed as well, moving towards the window and opening it wide.

"Excellent. Most excellent. If you can start today, speak to Che-"

The mare stopped, seemingly taking note of the travel-bags on the stallions back for the first time.

"Oh dear, you literally walked into town today didn't you? Come along."

"Cherry, do you still have that list of rentals available in town?" The toffee mare asked her secretary.

"I put it in the records room, though I know a few of the locations by heart. Somepony looking? Usually they ask me, not go straight to you."

"This gentlestallion has agreed to help clean up the weather office," Mayor mare explained, a frown crossing her muzzle.

"Dear me, I've all but hired you and never bothered to ask your name, I'm terribly sorry."

"Recon, and its fine. I can understand why you'd be excited to get that mess cleared. That was..." he trailed off meaningfully, his body shuddering at the memory of the bag of spoiled food.

The secretary giggled, putting a hoof to her mouth.

"Yes, it was pretty bad. I tried to do it over the holidays but only managed to clean up a little bit. There were bags of food all over the place from the last Pegasus who worked there. It was becoming a health hazard."

"He found one you missed," the silver-maned mare said with a chuckle. "I have the window open now, but make a note to close it before you leave. We don't need ponies wandering in to the office when we're out for the night. Oh, since you'll be working with us, I suppose introductions should be completed. This is Secret Cherry, you'll see her anytime you need to make an order for supplies or find you need something repaired. I'm the mayor of this small town, so most just call me Mayor Mare."

"But your name is.." recon trailed off meaningfully, "I mean, unless you prefer that name."

"Her name is Sealed Scroll, Scroll for short!" Cherry offered, earning a glare from the older mare.

Recon smiled at the friendly banter. Whatever became of his employment here it would be a lot nicer than his last job.

"Since you've filed away that list even after I told you to keep it close, why don't you show him the choices?"

"Wha- but, but it's almost time to leave!"

"Your right, it is about dinner time! You know Roadhouse's deal, Cherry. It would be an excellent opportunity to take advantage of that."

"Deal?" Recon asked, curious.

Cherry sighed.

"Roadhouse offers newcomers to town, those who are actually going to be staying a while, a free meal. The pony who directs them to his diner gets a free shake. There are better diners, but The Pasture is a nice enough place for casual dining."

"Take the keys with you as well. Cherry should have a good idea of the rent for the homes and apartments. We'll talk about making everything official later though."

Stopping as she was turning to leave, Scroll turned back to them with a smile.

"Tell you what, Cherry. I'll close down the office tonight. It's almost dinner time anyway, so you get Mr Recon settled in and I'll see you tomorrow."

Recon stifled a laugh, feeling the Mayor Scroll's bubbling happiness at the situation as well as Cherry's irritation. Waiting until the older earth pony was out of earshot, he turned to Secret with a grin.

"She dump people on you often or is she just mad at you today?"

"She's just getting me back for dropping her real name. It causes her some embarrassment, though I never figured out why," Cherry said.

Recon nodded, watching patiently as his assigned guide prepared to leave for the day. The mare stopped just shy of dropping a clipboard into a drawer, grabbing a pencil and looking to him.

"Anyt'ing you gonna need temerra'?" she asked through the pencil.

"Bags obviously. Even if I don't get them sorted right away it will let me walk through the room without stepping on something important or, more likely, something sharp. I'd ask for some Fabreeze but I think I'm going to have to settle for potpourri. Some extra binders, folders, pencils and paper obviously, but I bet you ladies have a supply of that stuff. Maybe a dragonfire spell-gem to make sure the room is clean?" the stallion listed off easily.

"'E do, eh'll have the bags ready fer you, though 'm not shertain how Shcroll will fe'l about havin' repor's trown into bags," Cherry said, jotting down the list before giggling. "Eh don' know if even 'ragonfire would clean dat room."

"The alternative is them sitting on the floor," he countered. "Old saying I heard in my travels, you don't eat an elephant in one bite. This gives me a way to separate the work into sections. If you try to do something like this all at once it can easily overwhelm you."

The mare shrugged, acknowledging his point.

"Shuppose bags 're be'er than deh floor."

Waiting a moment for him to continue, she put the pencil away and tore off the list, leaving it on her desk with a note for the Mayor. Cherry finished her preparations before moving towards the door, motioning for the stallion to follow her.

"If she's going to leave me as your tour guide I may as well get this done. The more pegasus friendly apartments are this way."

The apartments weren't that big, but Recon managed to find one that suited his needs. To Cherry's surprise, he picked a ground-floor apartment. It was the best combination of cheap and nice, but the mare had apparently expected him to choose a residency with a bit more elevation.

"Spent most of my life on the ground, Cherry. It's where I'm most comfortable," he said as they walked to The Pasture. Cherry'd given him a map as well as the introduced him to the landlady, a kind old mare who was more interested in telling him about her grandfoals than getting him the key to his apartment. The changeling managed to survive the encounter intact though, his contributions to the conversation actually garnering him a bit of happiness and a few jokes about being a wonderful future husband.

Cherry shook her head in disbelief.

"Oldest of six, with only two parents? I mean, I've heard some flocks can get pretty large, but that's...one mare having all those foals..."

"Yea, couldn't keep mom and dad away from each other," Recon said with a laugh.

"Well then I'm sure you'll fit in," she added with a smirk. "Family is important in most of Equestria, but especially in small towns like this."

"So what about you?" Recon asked. "Any family to speak of? Move out looking for your fortune?"

"Nothing so inspiring. Grew up in Manehatten, family still lives there. I think mom and Dad wanted me to end up working for one of the big companies in town, but with my name and talent...I got tired of the teasing and left. Never imagined I'd be a secretary for a little town like Ponyville, much less that I'd be happy with the position but life likes to surprise us. I write to my parents, but we haven't actually met for a while. City ponies to the core, can't slow down or the rest of the city will leave you behind."

"Some people thrive on the energy of big cities, but I prefer a rural town. Ponyville's a bit on the small side for me but I like it better so far than the cities. Two Song was more fun though."

"Those ponies are always dealing with Diamond Dogs, I don't see how that's more fun," Cherry said with an eye-roll.

"I made a killing out there with some of my failed potions, actually. I ended up leaving the recipe with some friends, but I made something that smelled like moldy grass. The thing is, there was another part to the scent ponies couldn't pick up, one that made those dogs tear up the moment they got close. Ponies were starting to carry vials of it around with them. They'd break them the moment a Dog would break the surface near them. Last I heard from my old boss, a few of the Dogs had figured out nose plugs, but the majority of them are pretty dim."

"You're an alchemist? Hold that thought."

Opening the door to The Pasture, Cherry led him to an empty table and took a seat. Taking her own menu, she pointed out a few suggestions once he'd grabbed a menu of his own.

"The carrot soup is actually pretty good here, they steam the carrots before-hoof so they practically melt in your mouth. The broccoli casserole is pretty tasty, though I preffer the tomato sandwhiches. It's not enough to really affect a pony, but they'll add a little salt to it if you like."

Recon nodded, noticing a small section at the end of the menu. Seeing where his attention was, Cherry shook her head.

"Yes they sell fish, no you won't get it for free. It's a premium thing."

"Understandable, I'm just surprised to see it. Guess Ponyville does have something over Two Song. I'll go with the TLD. As for your question, yea. I started dabbling out of curiosity and found I had fun with it. I'll never pass the state alchemy exam but I can whip up a minor burn ointment or something to ease a rash."

"I'll have to introduce you to Redheart then. If your good enough they may be willing to pay for some of the simpler things like the burn ointment. It gets expensive, ordering it from Canterlot. Not to mention it goes bad pretty fast."

"That, my dear Cherry, is due to them using Evermelt in the cream. It boosts how powerful the cream is, but it also cuts the shelf-life of the cream by more than half."

Before the mare could ask anything more, a large earth pony thundered up to the table.

"Secret Cherry, how are ya doin'? What brings you down to my humble diner?"

"Hello Roadhouse. This is Recon, he just arrived in town today. Scroll just hired him to take over as weather manager."

The stallion looked to he changeling for a moment before walking off. Before Recon could ask what was going on, he returned with a mug of amber liquid.

"Some salted Sweet Apple cider. Not as good as the Apple family's personal stuff, but made with their apples. Kid, if you're taking on that mess, I want to send you off to your doom properly prepared."

Recon exploded with laughter, settling a hoof over his muzzle and wiping away a fake tear.

"You've no idea how much this means to me. I'll remember this, Roadhouse. For the rest of my short life."

"No problem, kid. Your sacrifice will be remembered," the stallion said solemnly before he too began to laugh. "Seriously though, if you succeed, Scroll will blacklist your name as a train passenger at the station. You'll never get out of here."

"Already been dodging the town for a while," Recon responded with a shrug of his wings. "You see how well that ended. I'm just hoping things start turning around for me. My luck's been real bad lately."

"We make our own luck. Now what can I call in for you two today? Special's a Hay-chilada platter, somethin' new the cook's tryin' out. I can personally attest to it bein' a great tastin' dish."

Sitting there in the diner surrounded by ponies enjoying each other's company, Recon basked in the energy. After all, he was there for dinner, he may as well eat.

The Monster that is Paperwork

"It's just not normal for her. I mean, we had to make her agree to only those staying longer than a day or two. Are you certain you saw her? Maybe she's sick...no, Redheart had to track her down that one time. I just don't understand, it's so unlike her."

Cherry had stopped by on her way to work, presumably because the pair had forgotten to tell him when the office opened. Shortly after they'd headed out, the mare realized that Recon's arrival was missing something, something that was so normal the lack of it was causing her no small degree of distress.

"I talked to Pinkie yesterday. We didn't exactly hit it off, but I don't hold it against her," the changeling said, unconcerned.

"I know it doesn't mean much to you, but it's strange," the earth pony insisted. "She's always the first person to greet newcomers, she even keeps the town population on the board by the station."

"With the pink paint? Yes, I saw that. Thought it was a bit weird how accurate someone was keeping it but I've seen some weird stuff while wandering Equis. A pony who's able to keep the town population sign updated is far from the strangest thing I've seen."

"Oh? Like what?" She asked, curious.

"Let's see...dragon chef, used his fire to cook the food. He even had a disclaimer on the menu that he brushed and used mouthwash after his meals."

"Okay that is a bit odd, but-"

"Pony who swore he had dragon in his blood. Guy added gems to his meals, I watched him bite down on a topaz and his teeth shattered it."

"That's wierd but-"

"How about a unicorn who's eyes changed color every time she cast a spell?" Recon offered with a smile.

The mare had in fact been a changeling who suffered from a defect in her disguise. It allowed her to mask her true magic causing her aura to look like an actual unicorns aura, but the eye-color change had left her terrified that she'd be discovered. Recon had convinced her to use it as a novelty, expressing awe after witnessing it in public and earning the mare a good deal of interest and affection as ponies of the town swarmed her, clambering to get a chance to see the change for themselves. The two had talked over the dangers of too much publicity in private, Recon warning her about the possibility of ponies wanting to run her through tests that could expose her true nature, though most would ask permission beforehand.

"Alright, alright. It's not that weird in comparison to other things out there, but that doesn't change the fact that it wasn't her usual behavior."

"If you'd like, stop by during your lunch or something. Talk to her, make sure she's okay."

Cherry nodded mutely, moving ahead to open the door to the Town Hall.

"Miss Scroll? We're here!"

"You brought Recon?" the mayor asked. "Good. If you'll follow me, we'll get all the official paperwork done today. You have a resume?"

The changeling dug into his now much lighter bags, pulling out several pages of references and work experience.

"Good, this way."

Sealed Scroll led him back to her office and gestured to the cushion on the other side of her desk as she made herself comfortable.

"Now there are a few forms I need you to sign, as some of the information you come across here may be a ponies personal information. Just signed promises to not use or alter the information for profit or to cause harm to the individuals," the toffee colored mare explained while trading the forms for his resume. He heard a few chuckles from her and looked up, seeing her watching him.

"You'd be surprised how many ponies don't read the forms."

"Not as much as you'd think, Miss Scroll," he responded. " Cons don't need to be illegal, they just need their victims to not pay attention."

"True, true. You moved here from the outer territories? Do you have Citizenship papers?"

Recon stopped cold mid-signature.

"I, was told by several ponies that there wasn't anything like that. They said..."

The mayor frowned looking over his resume.

"You did hold these positions though, correct? And told them you were from outside of Equestria? That's...Two Song... Trottingham...nopony in these places talked to you about official citizenship?"

"I asked and was told it was something that only really mattered for nobility."

The mayor bit her lip before pulling out another folder from her desk.

"I apologize, Miss Scroll. I thought-"

"They're not wrong, citizenship papers aren't normally something ponies think about. That being said, employers are urged by the crown to direct those seeking citizenship to the proper offices. The fact you worked in a place that was likely down the hall from such an office and weren't told this..."

Pulling out a few old papers, the earth pony spread them out on her desk.

"I'm not throwing out your resume or anything like that. The apartment you chose went up for sale almost two years ago, about the time you said you started seeing adds for Ponyville, right? Cherry experienced the same thing, as did Roadhouse and Colgate. Sometimes there's a bit of a push for individuals to end up in certain locations."

Pointing to a particular scrap of paper, the mayor smiled.

Your first Equestrian place of employment was in Bushels, right? Yes, right there," she said, tapping his resume. "We had an add that was put out for a job in town, and for some reason when I tracked down all the places that received notices of the position, Bushels was on the list."

"I enjoy finding out how Equis tries to direct ponies, Recon. It's both interesting in the strange, almost circumstantial things that occur, but it gets even stranger when you see ponies resist the push. In each of the places you went to there were notices from Ponyville in their wanted adds. Not only that but the jobs that were available changed as well, like the available jobs were changing to try and lure you in."

"I like to think I've seen this enough to know you're supposed to be here. I'll help you through the process but I do need to know. Have you had any run-ins with the Royal Guard?"

The changeling pondered that. Technically, the guards had belonged to Bushels and the mayor had kind of gone crazy.

"The town of Bushels was put into lockdown while I was there, but I've never been arrested or accused of anything."

The mare rolled a hoof, motioning for him to continue.

"The mayor got a bit crazy, screaming about pod-ponies. Guards came by and did an investigation, found out some mare was throwing around mind-magic that was leaving her neighbors kind of out of it."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that kind of thing happening here. I'll have to double check with Canterlot's public records and send an inquiry to the Royal Guard, but if nothing comes back from the Guard it shouldn't take too long to make it all official."

"Um,"the stallion started, not really certain how to take the turn of events. "Just like that?"

"It would have been easier if there wasn't this delay. Bushels could have had you an official citizen in a week or two, but that would be counting the slow post from that town. Having been in the country for so long...did you have taxes pulled from your pay?" At his nod the mayor grinned. "Two years in the country and you paid taxes. I see nothing that could really slow the process. In fact, there would have to be a major crime in the Royal Guard's records to prevent me from setting you up with the proper papers."

The door opened up that moment, Cherry leading another mare with a large satchel into the office.

"Package from Canterlot, mayor. She said she needs a signature from you, no substitutes."

"Oh perfect!" Scroll said, rushing over to a file cabinet and pulling out a form. Rushing back over to the desk, she started filling it out at a pace that left Recon's head spinning. Finishing a final signature with a flourish and putting it into an envelope, she trotted over to the messenger, took the package, signed for it, and gave the envelope to the messenger.

"Just tell Proper Parchment I'll send him the full account as soon as I have the time. With how he loves these stories he may come here to meet Recon himself. Stop by Sugarcube Corner on your way out of town and let them know I sent you there, the Cakes will set you up with something to cool you down and get some energy in your wings again."

The messenger nodded thankfully before following Cherry out.

"Um, what..."

"The parcel was from Canterlot. I needed to run the check anyway, so I sent the request with her. Don't be surprised if Proper Parchment stops by to talk to you about your experience, we both enjoy seeing how far fate is willing to go to direct ponies to the proper place for them."

"Now then, back to the interview I suppose, what do you know about-"

Recon shoved another stack of papers into a large bag. The trash can was already full again, so he'd need to take it out but the floor was starting to peek out at him from under the mess.

'Thank god it's a hard-wood floor,' he thought with relief. The ink would likely leave it stained but at least the floor wouldn't need to be steamed or specially cleaned like a carpet would.

"Sooner Tinker figures out how to power those vacuum cleaners the better."

"Recon? It's about-oh wow."

"Yea, turns out I have a hardwood floor. Who would have guessed?"

"Mayor Scroll wants to speak with us before we're done for the day. Make sure to close the window before you leave."

Recon nodded, fluttering over the mess to push the window closed before flying back to the island of clean the was starting to form at the door.

"Ready. The rest of this stuff isn't going anywhere."

Cherry chuckled at his progress.

"The sad part is that you haven't even started looking at the reports. A full three hours in here and..."

"Please don't crush my will to continue. I'm taking my victories as I can get them. Three trash cans and two bags of weather reports, including the time I had to carefully pick out shards of a shattered ink jar from them? I think that it was a fairly productive day."

The two arrived at the mayor's office to find the older mare looking over a large list.

"Thank you Cherry. I have here a list of...of jobs and names Princess Celestia sent in preparation for the Summer Sun Festival. It's the first time in over a decade we've had the opportunity to host it, so we'll be going over it in detail later. I just wanted you two to know that were going to be expecting some important company."

Recon's jaw dropped.

"You're joking. I just found out the floor to that office is hardwood-wait, before I panic too much when is this celebration?"

"It's still a few weeks off. Plenty of time, don't worry. Now unless you have something for me Cherry, I'll see you tomorrow."

The mayor watched her secretary leave before walking over to her window and opening it wide.

"Alright, come on in."

A light purple Pegasus with an almost silvery mane flew in the window, landing lightly on her hooves before turning to Recon.

"It's best you know who your going to be working with. Aside from myself and Cherry, you'll be receiving most of your reports from Cloudchaser here," the mayor explained, gesturing to the giggling mare.

"Cloudchaser, as weather-team captain, you'll be filing your reports to Recon for proper record-keeping."

Staring at the smiling pegasus as she introduced herself, the changeling's brain had experienced a critical error.

Rainbow Dash /= Cloudchaser

Rainbow Dash = captain

If Cloudchaser = captain than Rainbow Dash /= captain

'Wat?'

Conspiracy

After regaining his ability to process information, Scroll had suggested that Cloudchaser take him to meet the rest of the weather team to both let them know that a pony was once again working in the office and to get Recon familiar with those who would be working with him.

"-so as the weather manager your going to be the one to make sure the paperwork for the storms is properly filed as well as making note of any inconsistencies or changes in needs from the local farmers. I wouldn't be surprised if they showed up at your door in Town hall in the next few days to meet you. With nopony in that position they had to file their requests through the mayor and she doesn't specialize in weather or Pegasus work schedules," Cloudchaser explained as she led him to a large building at the edge of town. There were a few Pegasi pushing clouds together for a light shower later on that evening, but otherwise most of them were gathering on the flat roof of the warehouse.

"Evening everypony," Cloudchaser shouted as they landed. "I don't know how many of you heard, but this poor sap has volunteered to try and wrangle the weather office. If he survives, he'll be accepting your reports, sick leave, vacation forms, and reviews. So keep that in mind before you target him for any new-guy pranks."

Stepping out in front of Cloudchaser, Recon raised a wing in greeting.

"I'm hoping we all get along. If not, I'm sure I can find a way to repay any misery you cause me.

"I spent some time as an assistant to the weather manager and captain of Kindson, a small town the middle of nowhere. A lot of the weather was natural out there and I grew up with natural weather as well. I'm sure there are plenty of things to learn about weather near the Everfree, and I hope you guys, and gals, are willing to give me a heads up if you think I may not be aware of something. Especially when it comes to the clash of pony magic and wild magic that I heard this town has to deal with due to being right next to the Everfree."

"Aside from that, I'm interested in magic theory and active pegasus magic as well as an aspiring alchemist."

The gathering quickly dissolved into a meet and greet, some cookies and punch provided by a cautious looking pink earth pony.

Recon allowed himself to be taken through the full number of present Pegasi, which turned out to be every Pegasus in town. Most were merely what Cloudchaser referred to as reserves in case the Everfree threw something nasty at them like a tornado from a few years back but they were still asked to be present. After all, Recon would be filing the paperwork for the pay they received as well as any injury reports that were incurred in the line of duty.

"...and this is Bulk. He owns and manages the Gym in Ponyville. He's a licensed fitness instructor so if you have any questions about diet and exercise he'll probably be the one you ask. This is Fluttershy, she's an animal expert and runs a small shelter on the outskirts of town. My sister, Flitter. The more you avoid her the better off you'll be."

Flitter gasped at the insult, shoving the Captain with a hoof in faux anger. Cloudchaser giggled in response and continued down the line.

"Thunderlane's one of the regulars as well. He lives in town with his little brother. Aaand I think that's everypony."

"I hope you don't  feel too insulted if I don't have everyone's name memorized by tomorrow," Recon joked, drawing a surprised gasp from Flitter.

"Oh Celestia, you really are from an outer territory! I thought you were pulling my leg."

At the questioning glances from the others she nodded emphatically "I have a friend, well she has another friend, who worked with some guards, who patrolled the borders. She said that it's becoming a bit more prevalent, but a lot of mixed towns, ones with griffons and dragons and ponies and zebras and, and everything else, they use everyone instead of everypony. Oh it's so cool, I never thought I'd meet a foreigner! Is it true that dragons keep mares as trophies and display them on their mantle in golden cages?! What about-"

Cloudchaser stuffed her hoof in her sisters mouth, cutting off the stream of questions before it could gain any real momentum.

"He's not going anywhere, Flitter. You can ask him later," Cloudchaser said before rising a few paces off of the roof.

"Can I have everypony's attention? Thanks! Thank you for being here in such short notice, and we'll get more information to you all as it becomes available. For now we're going to continue filing our reports and requests through the mayors office, but I'll make sure everypony gets a notice when we start switching over. And thank Pinkie for the snacks! Sugarcube Corner did an excellent job as usual."

There was a chorus of assents before the gathering exploded, Pegasi taking off in all directions or making a mad dash for the snacks before others cleaned out the rest of the cookies.

Moving before any of the other Pegasi could snag him, Recon managed to approach the canary-yellow Pegasus currently trying to sneak out of the meeting as quickly as possible.

"Miss Fluttershy? May I have a moment of your time?"

Fluttershy jumped, turning to face him with poorly concealed anxiety.

'Hell, even if she was better at hiding it I could taste that from a mile away,' Recon thought, suppressing a gag.

"As I said I dabble in alchemy, you know, balms and elixirs? Some of those require things like small bird feathers or fish scales, even the odd drop of snake venom. If you could provide me with a few odds and ends, or even give me the chance to collect something like molted feathers myself, I'd be happy to provide you with some of the results. Burn ointment was one of the first things I learned to make, out of necessity unfortunately, and I'd be happy to help you keep stocked."

She still seemed nervous after he explained his desire, but the shy mare perked up a bit at the offer.

"Um, do you have any anti-itch or pain relievers? Those are kind of expensive, and the ones I buy from town are too strong for most of my animal friends."

Recon cocked his head in thought, racking his brain. Anti-itch he remembered seeing, but he'd skipped it for other things. The pain relief ointment might be easier. The more you skewed the formula to the main numbing ingredient, a fairly common mushroom, the more powerful it became.

"I'll double check my recipes. I've made the pain-relief ointment before and know how to reduce the potency, but I never got around to making the anti-itch cream. I'll try to look it up tonight and I'll get back to you later, okay? I'll also have a list of ingredients. I don't know if animals have allergies, but..."

"Oh that would be very kind of you, but you don't have to do it right away. I'm sure you have other things you need to do."

"I do this for fun, Fluttershy. It's my hobby. If I can find a way to help someone with it, why would I not? And if you can get me a few of the ingredients I'm looking for or even direct me to where they grow, I'd be extremely grateful."

Fluttershy then left, though not in as big a hurry as before. Seeing another mare he needed to talk to, he made his way through the crowd, getting stopped along the way once or twice by curious or welcoming ponies. Once he reached his target, the mare surprised him by speaking first.

"I'm sorry I was a meanie pants yesterday. Cherry said she thought it was weird and kind of mean that I didn't set up a party like I usually do, and I told her about what happened at the station and she told me that the mayor told her that this kind of thing happens to ponies sometimes so I wanted to make it up to you so-"

Pinkie stopped suddenly, taking a large gulp of air.

"-I decided I wanted to do something nice and I heard you were going to be working in that smelly old office and that meant you'd need to meet all the Pegasi in town, so I told Cherry and Cloudy I'd bring cookies and punch."

"I appreciate the sentiment, Pinkie, even if I never took insult to the lack of a party. After this mess is sorted, I'll even do my best to explain your Pinkie sense, because I think I know what you're reacting to. It's just going to depend on how the Summer Sun Celebration goes."

Pinkie's mood dropped quickly, nearly causing him to flinch at the sudden twist from the normally exuberant mare.

"Something's wrong, isn't it?"

At his shocked silence she looked around at the gathered Pegasi before leaning closer.

"My Pinkie sense keeps telling me something important is going to happen soon. It also tells me something bad happened, but I don't know what it was.

"You were looking for somepony. You kept looking around like you were expecting to recognize somepony but you never found them. Who is it?"

"Someone I think may be important," Recon explained quietly. "Someone who was supposed to be here, who was supposed to be the one who met me in the mayor's office."

Feeling a bit uncomfortable talking about the topic in public, Recon tapped a rear hoof for a moment before looking back to Pinkie.

"If you want to talk about this, I'd prefer we do it in private. If something's not wrong, ponies will panic for nothing. If something is wrong, there may not be anything we can do about it."

"Okie-dokie," Pinkie relented, her cheer returning a bit. "I'll head back to Sugarcube, stop by and we'll talk about the impending doom in private, deal?"

"Deal," the stallion agreed with a chuckle, reaching out a hoof. Pinkie tapped the hoof to seal the agreement before trotting away, her mane regaining some of its lost volume.

"Was she okay?" Cloudchaser asked, several other ponies looking for an answer as well. "I don't think I've ever seen Pinkie that upset before."

"I didn't know Pinkie could get upset," Thunderlane added with a bit of concern.

"She was just apologizing for the lack of a party. I told her we could talk later though. Figure out our differences over a cookie at Sugarcube Corner, maybe get off on the right hoof this time."

The remaining Pegasi continued to watch the pink pony leave with a bit of apprehension but soon returned their attention to other things. Like teasing sisters or snacking.

He waited around until the cleanup, helping Cloudchaser with that before making his way back to town. Flying at a fairly high level, he was able to pick out Sugarcube Corner and quickly approached the bakery.

"Oh, I'm sorry dear. We're just about to close up. Is there something I can grab for you?" The blue earth pony at the counter asked.

Recon stifled a laugh at seeing the mare in the flesh. Mrs. Cake was currently a bit swollen around her midsection, the twins she would give birth to no doubt on their way. Even sillier though, was the fact that her mane left him wondering if it tasted like cherry or strawberry icing. It looked downright delicious.

"I'm here to speak to Pinkie actually. I'd be happy to reschedule this to lunch tomorrow, but I didn't want to leave Cloudchaser alone with the cleanup."

"She didn't stay to help?" Mrs. Cake asked in confusion. "Poor dear must be under the weather or terribly distracted. That's not like her. I'll go see if she's up to talking to you. But if I find out you're upsetting her-"

Recon raised his hooves placatingly.

"I have no intention of doing the mare any harm, we're just going to talk about a gut-feeling and a Pinkie sense convergence."

She stared at him for another moment before nodding and closing the door, leaving the stallion waiting in the slowly darkening evening. He was debating on leaving a note and just having this conversation later when there was a stampede on the other side of the door, causing him to flinch away. Pinkie Pie whipped it open a second later, her mood seemingly much more recovered since her exit from the meeting.

"Hi, sorry I didn't stay, my heads all twisty-turny right now," the party pony said sheepishly.

"No problem. As I told the other lady, if you want we can do this later since it's getting late. I'm sure you have to be up early. I remember reading that most bakers are up at the crack of dawn."

"I don't get up that early, and besides I think I'd rather not be worrying about this the whole night. I don't think I could stand it."

"I don't know what you think I'm going to tell you, Pinkie, but I don't think I can lay your fears to rest. I'm scared about this too."

The baker's mood seemed to drop at the admission.

"Okay. So should we...come in, we can talk upstairs. Mrs. Cake, Recon and I are going to be discussing super-secret end-of-the-world stuff so we're going to my room, okay?"

"Just be sure to lock the door when he leaves, dear. And don't stay up too late," the pregnant mare called back from where she was wiping down the counter. Some noise in the back accompanied by a bloom of frustration gave the changeling a good idea of where the husband was, but otherwise he kept quiet and followed the not-so-energetic mare up the stairs.

The moment they were in her room, Pinkie closed the door and trotted over to her bed, pulling two cushions out from the darkness underneath.

"Never know when you're going to need to discuss super-secret things, so I try to be prepared," she said, answering his unasked question.

Nodding in understanding, recon took the offered cushion and tapped the floor in thought.

"I guess the first thing to do is talk about the party. I kind of expected you, I knew about Fluttershy, and there are a few others I haven't seen but two of whom I'm fairly certain are still here based on businesses I've seen. The only one I've not seen was the mare who I expected to see. A Pegasus by the name of Rainbow Dash.

"Background time; there was a story I read a while ago, it talked about a world-ending event set to take place on the longest day of the thousandth year."

"The Summer Sun Celebration," Pinkie whispered, nodding. "It's the thousandth year since...since..."

"Since the defeat of the sun princess's younger sister," Recon supplied. "The information is out there, unless Celestia only kept one copy of the book. The younger sister would escape her banishment on the solstice of the thousandth year."

"So if the princess beat her once, couldn't she do it again?"

"The artifacts that were used, it was bound to both of the alicorn's. When one used it against the other, it messed the artifacts up, disconnecting them from the alicorns. The artifacts went into stasis, though whether it was just to wait for when they would next be needed or because they needed to recover was never revealed in the story. It may also be that the artifacts are what is keeping the younger sister sealed. Once they stop doing that they once more become usable, their power returning."

"Wow," Pinkie murmured, her eyes not focusing on anything in particular. "So that's why you wanted to avoid Ponyville? Does the bad alicorn come here first?"

"She showed up in the sun princess's place in the story," the disguised changeling said. "She didn't harm anyone too badly, but she did blast away some guards that tried to arrest her. There's also the issue of what went wrong with her. I know the story said she was consumed by her jealousy, but killing off everyone in a planetary freeze seems a bit extreme for that."

"Freeze the planet?" the pink mare asked in confusion. "I thought you said she wanted eternal night."

It was Recon's turn to express confusion.

"Um, isn't that the same thing? I know that back home if the sun stopped shining it would get cold really fast. If she tidally locked the sun and moon, the other side of the planet would be a desert. The only habitable territory would the twilight ring around the planet, a small section that gets enough sun but not too much."

"That's, that's not how the sun and moon work," Pinkie said. She rapped a forehoof against the ground before looking him in the eye.

"Are you an alien? I know my pinkie sense was saying that you're not a normal  pony."

"You're pinkie sense isn't wrong," Recon offered cautiously. "Alien doesn't quite cut it though. I'm fairly certain that no matter how far you travelled from this world you'd never find my home. It's going to take either someone with an intimate knowledge of trans-dimensional transportation, or all the luck in the universe concentrated into a portal that would hopefully get me home. Considering my current location though, there may be other stories that I've read that exist out there and I think my survival chances in those places are slim to none."

"The-they're dangerous?" Pinkie asked.

"Not all of them, but when there's a fifty percent chance of me finding a world I won't be instantly killed in versus staying in a world where I've made some allies already and can research the topic of portals, which is safer? I think I'll keep researching the topic, even if do miss my fingers sometimes. I guess being able to fly helps in that regard. Something lost, something gained, right?"

"So you still intend to keep that pinkie promise even though your an alien?"

"It's more of a trans-dimensional visitor, or whatever you'd call it when the person has no say and no way to get back, but yes. I have every intention of keeping that promise."

"Will you be my friend?"

The changeling stared at the baker for a breath.

"What?"

"I make friends with everypony I can, and now I have the chance to be friends with an alien? Duh, of course I'd be all over that!"

He stared at her, trying to argue the logic before realizing there was no need to do so. She was giving him what he needed, a chance to prove his word.

"Alright Pinkie, I'll make an additional promise to you as well. We're going to find out what happened to Rainbow Dash, get her to Ponyville where she can help activate the artifacts that will save the world-"

"Eternal night won't end the world, silly," Pinkie interrupted. "It would just be really hard to see. Most of the heat of Equis comes from all the magic running through the planet. The sun is bright, but it's too small to warm the planet. The plants are all able to grow using the world's magic as well."

"Fine, we find Dash, bring her here to be a hero and prevent a nightlight shortage, then I hopefully get to leave. And when I do, I'll explain what I think it is your pinkie sense is picking up. In the meantime, just be careful of ponies who set it off, okay? Some of them really are mean. I'd hate to see you get in trouble when we're looking to save the heroes."

Pinkie put out her hoof, planning to seal the agreement with a hoof-shake.

"Will do, Recky."

Recon met her hoof with his own, but just as he was about to excuse himself, a presence made itself known on the other side of the door. Thinking quickly, the stallion's grin became downright predatory, causing Pinkie's smile to falter.

The moment Mrs. cake opened the door he started speaking again, deepening his voice to an almost infernal level.

"Right, so just bring the souls to the Everfree in the next three weeks and I'll continue to give you some of my power."

The stallion turned to the intruding mare, looking at her curiously.

"Oh, I can't take her now. I'm not prepared."

Recon swore that Mrs. Cake's color went three tones lighter in two seconds.

Five points to Pinkie Pie

"Oh that poor mare! Why would you do that to her?" Cherry asked as the two of them left the building for lunch.

"I wasn't really thinking. I heard her coming and figured if she was just going to walk in, we'll, Pinkie's renting the room but there should be some considerations of privacy," he replied. "I grew up in a big family. Having a chance to close out the rest of the world, to have a quiet refuge where no one would bother you was a luxury. Our rooms were kind of the closest thing to a sanctuary we had."

"But still, did you have to act like some sort of...of Nightmare? It just seems mean."

Recon huffed in irritation. It wasn't like Mrs. Cake was hurt by the joke and afterwards he and Pinkie had explained that it was a joke, but Cherry was feeling very worried for the baker.

"I'll stop by and double check on her, Cherry. Otherwise I'm not going to worry about it. It was a joke and I'm confident that she understood it was a joke.

"If you want, you can come along as well. I heard they do some simple lunches there, my treat."

The trip to the Corner was quiet, Cherry still in a tizzy over his joke with Pinkie. The two walked in, seeing the older mare behind the counter. Mrs. Cake slowed for a split second as her eyes landed on the changeling but she smiled, greeting them as she would any other customer.

"Good afternoon, how may I help you?"

"Just curious about your lunch menu, Mrs. Cake. That and to make sure you aren't secretly planning to have me exorcised. You're okay, right?" Recon asked with a grin.

"He told me what he did to you last night and I told him he should be apologizing," Cherry added, shoving the stallion with her shoulder. "That was very mean."

"I'm fine, Cherry. Thank you for the concern though. I just get a little nervous with Pinkie sometimes, she just acts so...out there sometimes. Like she's not bound by the laws of nature or common sense. There have been a few ponies who've suggested that kind of thing before," Mrs. Cake explained as she led them towards an empty table.

"Ponies have actually suggested she's made pacts with a demonic entity before?" Recon asked in surprise. He could vaguely remember reading stories about Pinkie's shenanigans before his arrival on Equis, but it had been several years ago and about a cartoon character.

The blue earth pony nodded.

"That and many other ideas as to how she accomplishes her strange accomplishments."

As they sat down, the mare turned to business.

"Lunch is a fairly simple affair as you know, Cherry. Carrot does have his carrot and potato soup on the stove though. There's a few more servings left if you're interested."

Recon skimmed the relatively sparse lunch menu and nodded. Spartan was a good way of describing it, but then again Sugarcube Corner was a bakery. The fact that they had a lunch menu at all had surprised him.

"I'll try the daisy sandwich, I guess. And some of that soup you mentioned."

"The same for myself," Cherry responded, pushing the menu card back to the center of the table.

The moment Mrs. Cake was back to the counter, having passed the order to a pink hoof in the back room, Recon turned to Cherry with a smile.

"See? No trauma, just a bit of nervousness. I didn't actually know about the theories about Pinkie, though. Maybe I'll ask her about it."

"She won't tell you how she does it. I don't think she knows."

"Bah, I meant the ponies theorizing, not how she does what she does," Recon clarified, waving her off with a hoof. "I'm curious as to what she thinks of the whole situation."

That caused Cherry to stop short.

"You know, I never thought of that."

"I can't see it being healthy for someone to continually be dismissed as a weird or strange individual," Recon said as Mrs. Cake returned with two glasses of water.

"Is there any drinks you two would like? We're also trying out selling shakes. Pinkie seems to enjoy making them."

Not having had a shake in a long while, the disguised changeling nodded.

"I'll try a chocolate shake, sure. And if she has a moment, I'd like to talk to Pinkie."

The baker looked around the bakery, taking note of the dwindling number of patrons before nodding.

"It's about time for her lunch break anyway. I'll let her go when she's finished with your shake."

"Awesome, thanks!" Recon replied with a smile. Turning back to Cherry, he was surprised to find her a bit troubled. "Something wrong with saying 'hi' to Pinkie or inviting her to talk?"

"No, nothing's wrong with it. Pinkie's just a bit...much for me," the mare admitted with a wince. "

"It's only for lunch," Recon admonished. "I checked in on Mrs Cake, you can suffer through a lunch with Pinkie."

Cherry gave a non-commital grunt and the two settled in to wait for their meals, thought she did give the changeling a few irritated looks. Just as Mrs cake was leaving them their shakes he decided to break the silence.

"So what is it that bothers you?"

"Wha-?"

"What about the mare unsettled you?"

Cherry poked at her shake for a moment, worrying her lip.

"I'm not certain. She just always seems so intense."

"And yet if she suddenly started acting what you'd consider normal, you'd wonder what was wrong with her," he countered. "It doesn't matter how strange she acts now, or how strange she could act in the future. The transition would be even more jarring both for you and those around her. Even if she is aware of the fact that she's making others a bit uncomfortable with her spazzing, she cant exactly just change on a dime. Besides, you're asking her to change because she's too intense?"

When Cherry opened her mouth to object he rolled his eyes.

"Avoiding her or asking her to change, either one is mean. Yea she's silly, but she's someone that I can talk to and know there's no ulterior motives. She's cheery, she tries to be nice to everyone. I can't think of a reason to not be nice to her at the very least."

"Yea. After all, you never know when she could be listening."

Recon blinked, just now registering that Pinkie was seated at their table, her lunch already spread out before her. Cherry's reaction was much more explosive, the mare jumping in fright at the sudden intrusion.

"Where did you come from?"

"I've been here for a bit now, why?" Pinkie answered, taking a bite of her sandwich. One of several that were now set out on the table, along with the milkshake the stallion had ordered.

"I'm certain you weren't there a second ago," Recon retorted calmly, taking a taste of his milkshake. "This is pretty good. Been a long while since I had a chocolate milkshake."

"Glad you liked it!" Pinkie beamed, tossing the rest of her sandwich into her mouth. "It's something different to make, so I like making them."

"Huh, well I guess I can understand that. Something fresh..." the changeling said before digging into his sandwich.

Pinkie started giggling, which caused Cherry to raise an eyebrow. Suddenly her eyes widened and she facehoofed, groaning and drawing a round of chuckles from the others.

"So how's life treating you, Pinkie?" Recon asked.

"Good, my Pinkie-sense has been getting a bit weird, like it wasn't sure what was going on anymore," Pinkie said before giggling. "I also feel like there's something big going on, something weird. Like it's something that I should know about, but nopony's bothered to tell me which kind of makes me feel sad that they don't trust me with it but I guess they have their reasons."

Recon rolled his eyes. It almost sounded like it would be directed at him, but it could also be figured to be Celestia not mentioning Luna's impending return. That or it could be other ponies not wanting to talk to her. There were hundreds of other possibilities he could think of off of the top of his head.

"Everyone has their own reasons for keeping secrets. Sometimes it's out of fear, sometimes it's out of embarrassment. Don't let it get to you if someone doesn't want to share."

Pinkie nodded sadly.

"I don't. It's just that sometimes it feels like I'm not being the best friend I could be, you know. Like I'm not doing enough to earn their trust."

"Oh, speaking of friends, I heard there's a bowling ally in town, would you be interested in a few rounds?" Recon asked the pink mare. "I haven't bowled in ages."

The pink party pony pouted.

"I'd like to, but Mayor mare sent a note to the cakes that there's going to be a lot of food needed for the SSC. It's going to be kind of crazy soon. They want to make everything as soon as possible but if we make it too early it will go stale and if we try to wait to the day of we won't get any sleep so Mrs. Cake's trying to make everything that won't spoil as soon as possible in order to make it easier the day of which is great because I plan on holding an all-night party for everypony. I haven't decided where it will be though. I can't use Sugarcube Corner since the cakes will need this place for all the baking."

"I'm sure you'll find the answer, Pinkie. Just don't work yourself too hard, okay? And you're welcome to visit if you want to get out of the Cake's manes for a bit," the stallion offered.

"You mean it?" Pinkie responded in surprise. "I-yea I think I'd be happy to visit. We can talk about find-mph."

Recon blinked, looking to where the mare was currently sitting with a hoof shoved in her mouth.

"Oh...oh! don't worry about that," he said, waving off Pinkie's concern before turning to Cherry. "We're looking into finding a mare. I feel like she should be here, but she's not. As I told Mrs. Cake, we're calling it a convergence of gut feeling and Pinkie Sense."

Secret Cherry's eyes widened at the thought.

"You, you think this mare could be important? Do you know who she is?"

"Rainbow-maned pegasus mare, should be called Rainbow Dash but the biggest thing would be a cloud and lightning bolt cutie mark. We need her to be in Ponyville relatively soon," Recon answered.

"I'll check for such a name. pegasus, so she should have ended up in flight school, correct? I'll see what I can find."

Recon smiled widely, as did Pinkie.

"Thanks, Cherry. If you could find anything for us we'd greatly appreciate it."

Recon dragged himself out of the office, his mind a blur of reports and his nose able to detect nothing but the cleaning agents that were currently still burning his senses. While the majority of the papers were now cleaned up and the room didn't smell like rotten hayburgers, now the real fun began. Now he had to sort all of those reports. Several years of reports, requests, requisition forms and sick leave. Going by the mayors argument on the first day, somewhere in the most recent few months there were some mistakes in the requests and reports as well.

"How long ago this has been going is anyone's guess as well," he muttered to himself as he dragged his hooves on the way to the apartment. A quick chug of his stashed emotion would get him out of the funk, but until then he'd likely feel like he was walking through molasses.

"Boy howdy, you look like yah've gone ten rounds with a minotaur and lost each one," a drawling voice called out to him.

Stopping at the voice, the changeling looked to the source and found himself under the concerned gaze of a concerned farmer.

"What's the matter? Somethin' on yer mind?"

Slapping his cheek to try and wake himself up, he did his best to focus on the mare.

"No, well yes. Too much, actually. I'm kind of fried at the moment, sorry. I spent the last two hours reading and sorting weather reports."

"Never did care much for paperwork," she said with a shake of her head. "Aunt Orange was all about that though. Names Applejack. Yerself?"

"Recon. Mayor's hired me on to clean out that mess she calls a weather office and I'll see where things go from there. Has the mayor already contacted you?"

"Got'er message early this morn', thanks. It's a mighty big honor ta be able to help in this way, we're already sendin' notices to the rest of the family to call 'em in to help," the farmer said with a chuckle. "Ah don't think mah brother and Ah can do this on our own. That was an awful lot'a food they're askin' for. Granny's a whiz when it comes ta bakin' but even she's got 'er limits."

The disguised changeling nodded in agreement.

"Easy to push yourself too hard when you feel it's for a good cause. Take care of yourself, things will likely only get crazier over the next few weeks."

"Shucks, Ah ain't got nuthin' ta worry about. Got mah family fer that. Mah big brother and granny will let me know if Ah start slippin'," she dismissed.

Recon nodded, taking note of the cart full of jars and boxes she was carrying. The boxes looked like jars and containers of dry baking goods like flour and baking soda, but the jars were...

"Making preserves?"

Applejack gave him a slightly confused look before looking back over to her cart.

"Ya made jam before?"

"No, but my grandparents did. Also spent some time working at Mason's glass factory a few months ago so I recognize the packaging for their jars," the stallion said, gesturing to her cart with a grin.

Applejack nodded before puffing up slightly.

"Well, the Apples sell Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays if'n yes interested in havin' some of the best apples ever grown in Equestria."

"Quite confident, aren't you?"

"Ain't confidence ifn' ya know it's true and it ain't braggin' if ya can prove it," the farmer replied simply.

"I'll try to stop by your stall tomorrow. If nothing else than to familiarize myself with the market."

Applejack stopped in confusion at that, her cart bouncing off her flanks.

"Yer new in town?"

"Miss Pinkie and myself didn't get off on the right hoof, so there was no party. We've since talked things out but a party now would just be even more awkward I think."

"Ain't never heard of Pinkie takin' exception to a pony, even when they did some mighty uncalled for things. What did ya do to her?"

"Nothing, her Pinkie sense was reacting to me but she didn't know why. As I've said though, we've come to an understanding."

The orange earth pony gave her a measured glare before calming.

"Ah suppose if Pinkie's lettin' it go there's no need to dig around. Be nice to that mare though. She tried real hard to brighten up a ponies day. Ah don't wanna hear nuthin' bout her gettin' in trouble by the new colt in town."

He couldn't help it. Recon rolled his eyes at the threat, a smile blooming on his face.

"We talked over lunch and I even invited her to play a few games of bowling. Unless she's lying to me, I have no reason to not believe we're square."

AJ scowled at his dismissal but nodded. Judging by the irritation, the mare would likely seek Pinkie out for her own price of mind later on, if not that very evening. It was good news though. In spite of Cherry's apprehension with all things Pinkie there were ponies willing to watch her back. Walking away from the farmer, he idly wondered if it was just an Apple clan thing or if Pinkie just inspired these conflicting emotions in all the townsponies.

Wandering the town to familiarize himself with the layout a bit more he eventually turned in for the night, lock-in his door before pulling out his alchemy supplies. Saturday would be an interesting experience. With the office closed, he would be free to see the town in full splendor, including the market.

"I do not look forward to remembering how to barter."

"If you need a refresher, Auntie Pinkie would be happy to help!"

"Holy fez!"

He wouldn't lie to himself, the mare had scared the piss out of him. He'd just been ready to drop the disguise as well, his changeling magic's levitation simplifying the process of potion making a hundredfold. In fact that, more than security, was the reason he'd locked the door...he had locked the door, right?

"Pinkie, did you get into my house with the door locked?"

"I dunno, did you lock it?"

Walking over to the door while trying to slow his heart rate the changeling rattled the door for a moment confirming that yes, it had been locked.

"Locked huh? Maybe I came in through a window?" Pinkie offered.

Shaking the questions from his mind he walked back to his desk and began pulling out ingredients for burn ointments.

"Pinkie, I know I said you were welcome to visit but I'd like you to give me warning beforehoof. Some of these potions are delicate and if you scare me while I'm working on them they could be ruined or even explode. I've lost enough eyebrows to exploding potions, I don't need any help with that."

As he set up his magic-powered Bunsen burner, the mare watched curiously.

"So you really do make potions? Are you making more of that glory stuff?"

He bit back an affirmative as he enjoyed her curiosity. Technically she was helping him make some honey right now.

"I'll make some more later. For now I offered Fluttershy some burn ointment and pain relievers."

The pain relievers were fairly simple. A normally poisonous mushroom, finely diced and ground up with a common flower that neutralized the poison to an extent, leaving only a numbing effect. A little powdered ruby to increase the time it lasted, and his first batch of the pain relievers were set over the burner to simmer for five minutes.

He set about gathering up his ingredients for his second project of the night even as Pinkie watched curiously from behind him. Burn ointments came in a variety of potencies and styles but his favorite kind used what was for ponies a very rare ingredient. Ground changeling shell. It was fairly easy to get as long as he had a few vacation days saved up and plenty of emotion to force a molt. The issue was that he could only keep so much of the ground chitin at any given time without drawing attention to himself. He also couldn't sell it, as most ponies would ask how a Pegasus managed to find such pristine and fresh shells. This he ended up disposing of them, a difficult task when you couldn't burn the damn things.

It didn't require much ground shell to make the potions, so his half-jar would likely last another few weeks at his rate. Hopefully it would last until he managed to get the hell out of dodge.

"Unless I get bored and start experimenting again."

He added a bit of aloe and, on a whim, some stoneflower petals. It wouldn't go to Fluttershy, but he'd almost forgotten he'd used the last of his shell sealer a few days ago. The petals would case what was normally a burn ointment to thicken considerably, allowing him to use the resin-like material to repair hips and cracks in his shell easily. This mixture he hooded to Pinkie.

"Set that in the fridge, will you?"

As the pink pony accepted his request with a silent salute the changeling reached for the pain reliever balm and pulled the glass from the burner. The mixture was bubbling merrily now, a swirl of purples now present in the fluid.

"Looks about right..." he muttered, swirling the flask slightly as the cooling mixture started to thicken. Pouring the ointment into a smaller jar that he wouldn't miss, he smiled as it cooled into a white paste in the smaller container.

"Isn't that hot?"

Recon stared at the cooling flask in his grip.

'I knew I was forgetting something.'

"Kind of, but I've gotten used to the heat. Being a Pegasus also helps."

The last bit was grasping for straws. Pegasi received cold resistance from their innate magic, but there was no proof that the resistances went the other way as far as he'd been able to find.

Pinkie seemed satisfied with the answer though, merely nodding as she continued to watch the stallion work.

"It's kind of like baking, isn't it? You need to know how your ingredients react both to each other and to either mixing, settling, or cooking."

Bringing his tools to the sink, he smirked.

"Want to give it a shot?"

"Can I? What am I making? What do we use, can I make a potion that changes my coat color? What about-"

Pulling out his book, the changeling grinned as he paged through to coat-altering potions.

"Okay, rule one of potions. When you're first starting out you do things by the book. It helps you understand why some ingredients react the way they do and teaches you the possibilities. Coat-changing potions are pretty simple. All you need is the basics of a healing potion, which will bring the dye to the rest of your body, and something to specify the color."

As the two set up the next set of potions, Recon found himself relaxing once more. It wasn't the same, not exactly, but alchemy always reminded him of home. It was a science, even if the effects were magical.