“Ow.” Robert winced.

“Really?” Rainbow Dash asked. "Whacked good by a timberwolf, nothing. Tiny little needle, that's an ow?”

“Adrenaline rush.” Robert replied. "Ow.” Fluttershy started to apologize, heard his voice, then smiled and resumed work. He was doing it just to annoy Dash now. "Besides, showing weakness to a big angry timberwolf is a lethal idea. Showing it to friends is a sign of trust.”

“Very... interesting.” Twilight mentioned. "Perhaps a little too specific for a lesson on friendship.”

“Hmm... well I suppose I could make it a little less situational.” he mused, then winced.

“Sorry. Got a little close to the edge.” Fluttershy said. Twilight had offered to help, but Fluttershy had demurred. Twilight had lots of raw power, but she lacked some fine control. Of course Fluttershy hadn't said that. Robert had though, generating an indignant squeak from the alicorn.

“It's okay. I wasn't using that leg anyway.” he smiled at her. She blushed and started up. It was taking longer than anticipated. Angel was sitting on her shoulders, watching her work. He'd initially bothered Robert, until the tiger had leaned down and said something too soft for anyone but the rabbit to hear. Ever since he'd kept Fluttershy safely between the two of them. Fluttershy rolled her eyes.

“Don't worry, you'll be up and around in a couple of hours.” Fluttershy said, and applied another stitch.

“Are you sure it's not going to get infected?” Twilight asked.

“Yes.” Fluttershy said. "I used Zecora's special disinfectant.”

“Ugh. If that's what I think it is, I should be pretty much immune to everything for the next couple of weeks.” Robert shook his head. "The stuff she puts in that could probably melt holes in metal.”

“You sound happy about that.” Rainbow said.

“Like I said, nothing's going to be able to touch me for a couple weeks.” Robert laughed.

“Is it really that powerful?” Twilight asked. Robert looked at Fluttershy. She finished the last stitch.

“Would you show her the bottle?” he asked. She nodded, fetched it out of the first-aid kit. It was perhaps twelve inches tall, and nearly as round. It held only a small amount of liquid in the middle, no more than thirty ounces. The glass of the bottle was brown in color, and incredibly thick. Fluttershy gently sloshed it, and Twilight started when she saw it etch the glass inside.

“And you put that on a wound?” the purple alicorn asked.

“Yes.” Fluttershy said, putting it back.

“It stings like nothing you've ever felt, but there's nothing like it to keep away infection.” he shrugged gently, wincing at his shoulder. Fluttershy applied a self-adhesive bandage. When that was done, he pushed some bits at her. It turned quickly into a shoving match. He pushed the bits close, she pushed them away. This continued for several minutes. Finally, Angel overcame whatever Robert had said, or simply wanted him gone enough, jumped over Fluttershy's head, and grabbed the money. Then he disappeared as she grabbed for him. He reappeared somehow near the donation box.

“Angel no.” Fluttershy said. Too late, he deposited the sum. "How much did you give me?” she demanded of Robert. As much as Fluttershy was capable of demanding anything.

“Not telling.” Robert said, and stood up on his three good legs. "Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I'm going to go scream in pain for a little while.” He hopped to the door, went out, and screamed. There was laughter inside, except for Spike who slipped outside.

“Was that strictly necessary?” Spike asked him. Robert, through gritted teeth nodded and replied.

“Absolutely. So is this one.” he let out another scream, this one half-roar. "I think that might do it. Might be one more in me.”

“Why are you doing that?” Spike asked.

“Gotta let it out. Otherwise it makes me... grouchy. And you wouldn't like me when I'm grouchy. Trust me.” Robert shook his head. "What can I do you for?”

“What makes you think there's something you can do for me?” Spike asked.

“Well, you did come out here to talk to me. And not I suspect because the noise was bothering you.”

“I'm curious as to the real reason you wanted to hang out.” Spike asked. "No one really wants to hang out with me. I... Rarity likes it when I help, and I like to help, don't get me wrong, but she doesn't seem to like me to just be around. Twilight is amazing, but at the same time...”

“She's like an older sister, so she's not a friend you chose, even if she's one you would have chosen.” Robert guessed.

“Yes.” Spike said. It wasn't that he didn't love Twilight, but...

“Have you ever heard the saying about friends and family?” Robert asked.

“Keep your family close and your friends closer?” Spike asked.

“Umm, no that's enemies. Friends close and enemies closer.” Robert said with a smile.

“In Celestia we trust, all others pay cash, family in advance?” Spike tried.

“No.” Robert shook his head. "Friends are the family you choose.”

“Oh. No, I hadn't.” Spike said.

“Family are some of the first friends you have and that colors the way you look at the world. Trust me. But there comes that point, when you find that you're making friends, selecting those you want to associate with, and those you want to avoid. I know, Celestia preaches friendship and that's an admirable thing. Yet, I think she forgets that friends can't always be”. he glanced off where the Crusaders were gathered, arguing over plans held that would inevitably lead to some sort of horrible disaster. A more financial mind might wonder if the natural disaster budget included them. It did, though only as a subset of the Mayor's yearly submission. Their inclusion had caused no end of amusement. Up until the moment someone had been sent to investigate potential fraud. It was routine, and nothing particularly unique. Usually there wasn't any and the local official would simply have it explained that things which only happened once shouldn't be listed. After the third investigator ended up in the hospital after having been roped into a scheme, they simply officially stamped it as a valid item and went on with their lives.

“Those three?” he nodded at the Crusaders. "Think they could ever be friends with Diamond Tiara?”

“Not really.” Spike admitted.

“I disagree. They might not see it, considering the unholy terror she's inflicted, but they might be able to do it.” he shrugged. “As you get older, it gets harder. It's easier to find common points when you're younger. A shared dislike of school. Of some particularly strict adult. Or of some adult rule that feels exceedingly constrictive. As you get older, and develop more... individuality, you lose that commonality with all the others of your age. It becomes harder to make friends. But you're less restricted in the choice. For now, they have to make do with those around. Which means Diamond Tiara and her hench pony. But as they grow, they'll have options. They can make friends with ponies in other places.” he paused.

“What if they don't want to?” Spike asked.

“Then they don't have to. It's helpful, to have someone you know you can trust, who's willing to catch you when you trip, or help you up when you fall.” he shrugged. “And sometimes, sometimes you know that you're just not going to get along with that other. Some times you're going to have to just say no to trying to make friends. Whether because you disagree on something fundamental or something abstract. Not everyone is willing to admit it, not willing to stop trying.”

“Pinkie.” Spike said.

“Most of the time.” Robert nodded. "Sometimes though, you'll know, and you always listen to that feeling, remember.” Spike nodded. "That said, don't forget that you have to make an effort. Make some friends. Friends of friends. If you're really stuck? Ask Pinkie. I'm sure she'll be happy to find someone who shares your interests.”

“Good to know, but you still haven't answered my question.” Spike said.

“You're far too much like Twilight, you know that right?” Spike grinned and nodded. “Anyway, you're the most interesting male around here. After me of course.” Robert polished his knuckles on his chest. Spike rolled his eyes. "Seriously though. Big Mac? He's cool, intelligent, and doesn't mind that I can't shut up. But you know what his favorite topic is?”

“Apples?” Spike hazarded, correctly.

“Apples! He's got an amazing mind, but I can only take so many eight hour philosophical discussions on the superiority of one apple type over another. And no, no matter what he tells you, Red Delicious is not the superior one. Golden is far and away better.” Some half a mile away in the center of town, Big Mac erupted into a spontaneous 'Eenope.', seriously confusing himself and several passers by.

“Surely there's other stallions around.” Spike suggested.

“Yes I'm sure there are. But you know what? There's so many mares in town that it's hard to find those few stallions that are around, and even harder to sort out the interesting ones. It comes down to you, Time Turner and Bulk Biceps. I can't find Time Turner until the very last moment I need him. Seriously, he always shows up in just the nick of time. Bulk Biceps is extremely intelligent... don't play chess or poker with him. He's a master chess player, and he has an unbeatable poker face.” Spike's eyes narrowed. "Big Mac refuses to play him any more.”

“Wow.” Spike shook his head. He didn't think anyone had a better poker face than Big Mac. Not that he could ask Twilight, who'd be annoyed that he was playing poker, and even more annoyed that she hadn't been invited.

“Plus he's training for the games now, so he's doing that in addition to all his other work. Seriously, you want to solve your Rarity problem, go see him for a half-day. You'll either be all muscle, or dead from trying to keep up.” Spike laughed.

“So I guess I'm the last pick?” he asked, a little somberly.

“No. You're the first pick, but you're always working.” Robert said, eyeballing him.

“Oh, yeah.” Spike flushed. "Look, I get Tuesdays off unless Twilight's on a research bender. And you can tell those when the town starts running. he winked. "So you can catch me then.”

“Awesome. Now, we're still on schedule to hang out, but I'm not going to be walking much. Got any other ideas?” Robert asked.

“Actually...”

---

“I was wrong. I'm a big enough tiger to admit that. The only one you should ever play chess with is Bulk Biceps.” Robert sighed. This was the fifteenth game they'd played. Robert, who'd thought himself pretty good, if not exceptional, hadn't won a single game. "Who'd you learn to play from? Can't be Twilight. She's the worst player I've ever seen.”

“Princess Celestia taught me.” Spike replied, smiling an evil reptilian smile. If she hadn't invented the game herself, she'd almost certainly been around for it. Which Robert decided, explained an awful lot.

“Glad we didn't bet on it.” Robert sighed. "I don't suppose you've got something I'm less likely to suck at.” he asked hopefully.

“Yeah.” Spike laughed, and began putting the chess set away, and heading for one of the shelves. He slid the chess board away, and tugged something else out. "Here we go, Sweet Oats Land.” The universe does occasionally listen to the pleas of those within it, usually in the most spectacularly awful way possible. The sheer force of the glare he was receiving caused the game in Spike's claws to burst into flame. Spike put it out with a glare of his own. "You could have said no.”

“I didn't do it on purpose. Robert said, carefully not looking at anything for very long. "I just don't know what happened.”

“I think you've been hanging around Derpy too much.” Spike said. Robert snorted.

“I haven't seen her in a week. Not for more than a hello anyway.” she hadn't been avoiding him, he was pretty sure of that. Just different schedules. "Gotta make sure I see her again.”

“Goodie.” Spike shook his head. "Look, I don't think this is going to work out.”

“I hope you mean the board games.”

“Yeah, what'd you think I meant?”

“Nothing good. Come on, there's got to be something...” Robert paused. "Perhaps some advice about the ladies?” he flicked his eyebrows. Spike blushed.

“N-no. Spike said it, but his body language was disagreeing with him.

“Liar”. Robert said. "I know you've got a crush, and she knows it.”

“No, she doesn't.” Spike shook his head.

“Oh, I think she does.” Robert disagreed. "She doesn't want to show it though.” he stood and limped slightly as he walked over to the little dragon. "Look Rarity is a high class, beautiful mare. You can't just declare your love. She knows it already. You've got to show her.”

“How?” Spike asked.

“Court her, woo her. Keep treating her well. Wizard, warrior, or casanova, time is the greatest ally and most powerful weapon.” Spike gave him a confused look. "Do what you've been doing, make sure she's always thinking of you, and eventually she'll come around.”

“Oh.” Spike sighed. "Waiting is hard.”

“So is love.” Robert smiled. "Grab my bag.” he pointed. Spike pulled the bag over. Robert dug into his bag, and pulled out a small folding metal photo frame. "Here, this is my lady, and my parents. Spike opened the frame. Two older tigers, one larger and male and one slightly smaller and female were in the left hand side. They were leaned together, smiling, and cupping a cub between them.

“Aw.”

“It's not me, so don't get any ideas.” Robert chuckled. "On the other hand, when you meet my sister, tease her all you want.”

“That's your sister?” he asked.

“Yeah, that's... Morning Dew. Robert shook his head. "The one in the other frame is my Steel Rose.”

“Wow.” the tiger was more definitively female, and yet, there was a quiet strength beneath those feminine curves. "I... wow.”

“That one is taken, thank you so very much.” Robert chuckled. "Besides get one, before you go fishing for more.”

“I...” Spike blushed again.

“I'm teasing you. You can tease back. The girls might not like it, but I don't mind.” Robert said, and put a paw on Spike's shoulder. "I'm a big tiger, I can take it.”

“I don't know. I'm supposed to be nice.” Spike shook his head. "I mean, Look what happened when I got taken over by greed.”

“Bah, so you turned into a giant monster and got a little grabby. You were collecting beautiful things. Not your fault one of them fought back.” Robert smiled.

“Hey, most of them fought back. They just didn't all succeed.” Spike said. "Pinkie was giving me pie.”

“ASSAULTING YOU WITH PIE!” Pinkie said, vanishing as soon as she said it.

“Okay, assaulting me.” he laughed. "You're right though, Rarity fought back and saved me.”

“See, she loves you. She just needs time to get over a few things. Like you being several years her junior. And that moderately annoying species divide.” he chuckled. "You might ask Twilight about that last one. Perhaps she'll teach you some magic.”

“Magic? But don't you need a horn for that?” Spike asked.

“Why did you grow big?”

“What?”

“Grow big. You. Why?”

“So I could protect my horde.” Spike shrugged. "So what?”

“Magic is sympathetic. To Dragons more than any race except Alicorns. You grew because you knew, instinctively that you'd need to do so to protect your horde. You grew magically.” Spike blinked. "If you want to learn magic, then you'll need a horn. Or possibly two. Hey, the more the merrier.”

“Oh gee, thanks.” Spike rolled his eyes.

“Well... hey, look you're obviously magical already.”

“What do you mean?”

“Asks the fire breathing dragon.” Robert smiled.

“Oh, right.” Spike rubbed his head. "How do you do magic, if you don't have horns?”

“Fangs.” Robert said, and opened his mouth. "They work very similarly to horns, though it's not quite the same.”

“Oh. Maybe I could go with those, and not ruin my good looks.” He ran a claw over his spines.

“Oh, I don't know, some horns might make you look rather dashing.” Robert tilted his head. "Not straight ones. You'd look like a purple porcupine.”

“Gee, thanks.” Spike rolled his eyes. He paused, and dashed out of the room. Robert blinked, but he showed back up with a comic book. "How about these?” Several dragons were on the cover, some with horns in a fan behind their heads. Others had a few horns straight behind them, even if the horns were a touch crooked.

“Hmm... not bad. Can't quite picture you with those.” Robert said, rubbing his chin. "Maybe flat horns?”

“What?” Spike asked.

“Horns, flat along your head, almost ridges, but short. Along your spine crest, like this.” he ran a claw down the ridge. "One on either side. Plus you can make your head glow, which is awesome.”

“I don't know.” Spike said. "I'm not sure if they'd even work.” he shrugged.

“There's only one thing to do then. Robert said. “Ask Twilight.”

“Ask Twilight what?” she said, coming down the hall. They hadn't heard her come in the door, so she must have landed on the balcony, or perhaps teleported to her room.

“Whether horn ridges would work just as well for magic as a unicorn horn.” Spike said suddenly.

“What do you mean? On who?” Twilight asked.

“Me?” Spike said.

“You want to learn magic? she asked, moderately startled.

“I never really thought about it, but Robert said I might look dashing with horns. And we got side tracked into picking out horns. I don't know if I even need them but...” Spike paused. "You alright?”

“What? Oh, yes, I'm okay.” Twilight said, dazedly. "Um, no, I'm really very not.”

“What's the matter?” Robert asked.

“Why in the name of Celestia would Spike want to learn magic!” Twilight's voice rose in octaves and volume. "That's what's the matter!”

“Why not? Spike asked.” Twilight opened and closed her mouth several times.

“Why do you want to learn magic?” she asked Spike. Spike turned to Robert.

“Why did I want to learn magic?” Robert said something in Tiger. Spike caught it and blushed. Twilight missed it, though she'd heard it, and would look it up later, she'd find it wasn't in the book.

“You wanted to learn magic because you have a crush on Rarity and she might have a problem with the species barrier. Magic would let you transform from a dragon to a pony, removing such a barrier.” Robert said. "Besides, Twilight can do magic and she's nearly as awesome as Rainbow Dash.” Tick. Tick.

“HEY!” Twilight said indignantly.

“See, Rainbow would have let that one slide. Nearly as awesome.” Robert grinned. Twilight reached around the corner with her magic and hit him with a pillow.