Tiger Tiger
by Triaxx2
First published
Twilight is not the only student of magic in Ponyville.
A Tiger shaman-in-training comes to Ponyville to learn from Zecora.
Set during Season 4
Chapter 1
Author's Notes:
Tiger Speech is intended to be unreadable. Thus characters except those that speak the language are unaware of what is being said.
Twilight rolled over, and stretched her wings. She was eternally grateful to Fluttershy for suggesting using a pillow to prop herself up off the bed so her wings would rest properly. She shook her head to get her mane out of her eyes, and looked down. Spike was already out of bed and she could hear his claws clicking on the wood floors below. She stood and walked to the dressing table, then reached out with her mind and began brushing her mane with the hairbrush. She knew it wasn't necessary, and that she'd likely only find it messed up by some event later that day, but she enjoyed the feeling and it was a chance to exercise her powers, with minimal risk of accidentally blowing anything, or any pony up.
“Twilight? You up?" Spike's voice drifted up stairs.
“Yes Spike, I'm up. I'm just brushing my mane."
“Breakfast is almost ready." Spike's voice faded as he turned back to his work in the kitchen.
Finishing the brushing, Twilight walked to the head of the stairs. She put one hoof on the top stair, and stopped. She backed up and stared at the room for a moment, mind filled with calculations. Then she spread her wings and leapt. She glided for several moments, as graceful as possible, then she mis-judged her turn, bounced off the wall, and nearly plowed into a book shelf. She landed just short of the kitchen door, nearly landing on Spike. He managed not to drop the tray of sweet rolls he was carrying.
“Nice landing." he complimented her, even though she believed he was simply trying to avoid hurting her feelings.
“Complete accident. I mis-judged the distance from the balcony to the wall and --" she was interrupted by a sweet roll in her mouth.
“Twilight, accept the compliment. You're too hard on yourself." Spike grinned, and took a bite out of his own, sparkling sweet roll. Twilight bit into hers, and chewed. She'd learned not to steal Spike's sweet rolls, since the sparkling was caused by gem dust he collected from Rarity's workshop, and used as seasoning. It didn't agree with her.
“I know, I shouldn't be but you know me." showing uncommon wisdom, Spike declined to comment. "So, what's my number one assistant got planned for today?"
“Cataloging samples from the Everfree expedition, and organizing the book delivery, then Rarity want's some help with some secret project."
“Leave the samples, I want to try something with them, and it's easier to work with them in the box, than after they've been tagged and labeled." Twilight had another bite. "Besides, then you only have to catalog whatever survives." Spike chuckled. The last samples had burst into flame. Particularly surprising since they were samples of water.
“What about you Twilight? Got plans for the day?" Spike asked, in between bites.
“I'm going to see if Rainbow Dash has time for a flying lesson." Twilight ate another bite. "If not, I guess I'll see if there's anything else interesting going on around town.
“Cool. I'll go check on that book shipment and see you later." Spike finished the last of his half of the platter of Sweet Rolls. He stood up from the table and then headed out the door. Twilight watched him go, and resumed her breakfast.
---
Rainbow Dash did indeed have some time for a lesson, though it wasn't exactly on flying. “There you go Twilight, you're getting the hang of it now.” Twilight didn't believe a word of what she was saying, as she flapped. Rainbow Dash had her wrangling clouds, small ones, ostensibly to build her wing strength and fine tune her control. Twilight privately suspected that her good friend had found a way to get someone else to do her work for her.
The small nimbus cloud joined it's brethren as they started forming the basis of a weather front that was about to hit Ponyville. Sweat beaded on her forehead, as she flapped her wings, pushing the cloud together with the front being formed.
“You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?" Twilight asked.
“Of course I am." Dash laughed. “I love teaching.”
“And if it means you don't have to do it, all the better, eh?”
“Oh no, I could do it twice as fast, but I don't need the practice." she grinned. “And I wasn't the one who wanted to learn about flying." Twilight said something. Rainbow Dash ignored it. Twilight said a lot of words that she didn't recognize and she wasn't fussed about them. Particularly not after she found a book in the Library, entitled 'Curse words of the non-equine species.'
“One day, I'll learn not to say things like that.” Twilight said.
“If that happens, you won't be you.” Dash laughed, and put a wing around her shoulders. Twilight considered the technical implausibility of flying with one wing. “Besides, it's more fun this way.”
Twilight was prepared with a reply, when she heard a scream below. She looked down, scanning for the threat. What she saw caused her to fall a few feet. “Let's go.”
Pinkie Pie was on her way back to work from a delivery of sweet rolls to the edge of town, when she heard a scream and saw several ponies heading past her. She bounced up over several of them, and headed towards the source. What she saw as she rounded the corner was nothing like she expected. A huge orange shape, was moving towards the center of town. She bounded forward, and landed in front of the new comer.
“Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, who are you?”
The Tiger paused, and examined the bright pink, pony before it. “My name is Robert The Wing Kisser. But you can call me Robert.”
“ Pleased to meet you Robert The Wing Kisser." Pinkie extended her hoof. Robert shook it.
“You're one of the few ponies I've met who can pronounce my name. So, Pinkie Pie hmm? I've heard a lot about you.”
“Really? I'veheardnothingatallaboutyouandIusuallygetallthegoodgossipandI'mprettysureI'dhaveheardaboutatigerinEquestria." There was a sound as Pinkie inhaled at the end of her sentence. Then another as two winged ponies landed a short distance behind her.
“Pinkie, you okay?" Dash asked, trotting up beside her.
“ Peachy keen. This is my new friend Robert The Wing Kisser. But you can call him Robert." Pinkie introduced the Tiger. Twilight smiled.
“That's really your name?" she asked. She understood it, but unlike Pinkie, who pronounced it flawlessly, Twilight couldn't and wasn't in the mood to make herself look foolish trying.
“ My father chose it, and for all his impressive qualities, creativity is not high on the list. My mother wanted one who hunts with pride." Fortunately, my aunts talked her out of that. Twilight worked it out.
“Probably a good thing. So, what brings you to Ponyville?” she asked curiously.
“In a moment, I believe introductions are in order, though I can guess who you are already." Robert smiled, keeping his teeth closed in his mouth. Dash wouldn't have admitted it for all the apples on Sweet Apple Acres, but she was glad he did.
“I'm Rainbow Dash." she introduced herself, and held out her hoof. Robert shook it.
“And I'm Twilight Sparkle.”
“Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Pinkie chimed in.
“Yes, that." Twilight said, eyes promising a talking too that Pinkie completely ignored. For all the glares, Twilight knew it would do no good and Pinkie knew she knew that, and while she wouldn't bother, she wouldn't be able to stop herself from glaring.
Robert for his part, nodded, and then bowed down on one leg. “Princess. A pleasure to meet you.” He held out his paw. Twilight shook it, with a slight grimace.
“Please, my friends call me Twilight.”
“I hope to be among them. Now, as to my reason, perhaps we can find somewhere quiet to talk, I seem to be disrupting the daily activities of the town." he didn't look around, but Twilight noticed most ponies were almost subconsciously avoiding him.
“Sure, I live in the library just over there." she pointed with a wing. Dash grinned.
“I've gotta go make sure the weather front gets finished, but I'll catch up with you later." Dash backed up a couple of steps, and lifted away.
“And I've got to go back to the Cakes, and... stuff." Pinkie simply disappeared. Robert blinked. He'd been looking straight at her and she still vanished.
“Don't bother. It's... just not worth your effort. Trust me." Twilight chuckled and lead the way. Robert followed her to the Library, examining the buildings around them with interest. "So, have you seen much of Equestria?”
“A little. It's a surprisingly peaceful place it seems." as they walked, he noticed that only the Earth ponies seemed to have a problem with him. The Pegasi ignored him, and there were only a couple of unicorns who paid him no mind whatsoever. Typical. Twilight reached out and opened the door to the Library. She followed Robert inside.
“It is pretty peaceful. Make yourself comfortable. I need..." she trailed off and flew up the stairs. Robert looked around and inhaled. He sighed loudly. “Like it?”
“I love libraries. So much knowledge, and so many adventures without ever leaving." Robert grinned.
“I think we'll get along just fine." Twilight set down her pad and pencil, and set herself down on a cushion. Robert settled on several pillows. “So you were going to tell me why you came to Ponyville?”
“Indeed. You might notice, that as a Tiger, I am lacking in something.”
“Stripes." Twilight smiled. It would be hard to miss, but she'd not wanted to comment on it.
“Indeed. Normally, a Tiger my age would have them, but I am not a normal Tiger." he sighed. " Do you know that we earn our stripes in much the same way as you earn your..." he paused.
“Cutie Marks?" Twilight supplied. Robert nodded.
“Indeed. Most of us earn them in training to be warriors, or healers, or leaders. My brother earned his when he proved himself Heir.”
“Heir?” Twilight blinked. Robert laughed.
“As in Heir to my father's leadership of the Clan. He defeated me and our two brothers in open combat. he glanced around conspiratorially. Not that I really wanted to rule mind you, but he won by a very narrow margin." he winked. Twilight shook her head.
“So... you're on a quest to get your Stripes?”
“In a manner of speaking. After my brothers' Trial, I went to the Tribe's Shaman for advice. He offered an apprenticeship. It seems that he saw in me more magic than other Tigers." Twilight blinked.
“All tigers can do magic?”
“To varying degrees. We are alike Unicorns. We can all do some magic, though what we can do varies. Shamans have more power. They... we, are like unicorns for whom magic is a talent. Though we have different strengths. I can do things my teacher cannot do well, and he can do things I simply cannot.”
“Such as?" Robert stretched himself and his wings. Twilight blinked. He folded his wings away, and they vanished.
“I can change myself, in someways. Yet, I cannot listen to trees." Twilight blinked again.
“Can you fly?" she asked. Robert shook his head.
“Not yet. My teacher said one day I might be able to, but for now all I can do is glide. Still, it is better than becoming a large, tiger shaped stain on the ground." Twilight tried, and failed to suppress a laugh.
“Sorry.” she said, not sounding it in the slightest. The door slammed open, and Spike came in.
“Twilight, did you hear? There's a... Oh. I guess you did.”
Chapter 2
“Spike, this is Robert. Robert, this is Spike my Number One Assistant." Twilight introduced them. Spike held out his claw. Robert shook it almost reverentially.
“S-something wrong?" Spike asked nervously.
“No. Just never thought I'd meet one." Robert answered. Twilight blinked. He seemed awestruck, in a way he hadn't even upon learning who she was.
“A dragon?” Spike queried.
“ A purple dragon." Robert answered, before sitting back on his haunches. “Tell me, do you have a copy of the Warp and the Weft here?”
“Sure.”
“Can you close your eyes and tell me from the nose of the statue where it is?" Robert asked. He seemed, eager to hear the answer. Twilight recognized the tone of voice from the other end. Spike closed his eyes, and gave an answer. It wasn't directions, but after working it out in her head, she realized he'd given a precise line from the statue to the book.
“Spike? How did you do that?”
“I... don't know Twilight.”
“The same way you perform Telekinesis, or your friend Rainbow Dash flies. Pure instinct." Robert smiled. “My mentor, taught me well the ways of dragons. Purple dragons, are one of the rarest species. They are dragons of knowledge. They might not know how they know things but they absorb knowledge just by it's presence. And since he lives in a library, with the Princess of Magic, it's hard to imagine him not being a Number One Assistant." Spike flushed.
“Th-thank you. Umm... I'm going to go..." he paused. “Back to work then. He seemed lost in thought.”See you later Robert. Twilight." he disappeared into the kitchen.
“Sorry about that.”
“It's okay. Where was I?" Robert asked.
“Tiger shaped stain." Twilight said, after looking at her notes.
“Ah yes, of course. Anyway, after my mentor learned that we differed in our strengths so much, he realized I would need more training than he could give me to earn my Stripes. So he sent me to Equestria to learn magic from the best he knew of. I asked around a little and found that she lives not far from here.”
“Zecora." Twilight said, having worked it out.
“Indeed. So you know her?”
“I do. And you're in luck. I'm supposed to have lunch with her tomorrow. You probably don't want to wander the Everfree forest at night, though... I suspect there's not much that would give you pause.”
“Except the Cockatrice of course." Robert shuddered. “Can't stand them." Twilight nodded.
“You and me both." Twilight remembered, vaguely her one encounter with them. Fluttershy had saved her and quite a few others. The crusaders had explained the whole thing. Twilight had a protection spell now, but she wasn't interested in trying it out until she had no other choice.
“Of course, I also only like two thirds of the Chimera's I meet." Robert the Tiger offered. Twilight groaned. Robert grinned.
“Anyway, Pinkie will be arranging a welcome to Ponyville party. You don't want to disappoint her." Twilight's tone emphasized her comment.
“So I have been informed.”
“How did you learn so much about us?”
“You don't know? The stories of your adventure are... told and retold. It's impossible to wander through Equestria without hearing your tale.”
“So we're famous?" Princess Twilight Sparkle wilted slightly.
“Mostly famous. A few places are less than pleased with you, but you cannot please all the ponies all the time" Robert shrugged.
“Great." Twilight sighed. “And Pinkie?”
“I met a young pony with a near equivalent bundle of enthusiasm. Or rather, I had an interesting conversation with his rubber chicken. It's... complicated.”
“Umm... Okay, if you say so." Twilight shook her head.
“It was quite the event." There was a knock at the door.
“Come in." The door opened to admit Applejack. “I'd like you to meet..." Applejack's reaction cut her off. The big mares nostrils flared, her eyes widened, and her ears laid back.
“I didn't believe it. I never thought." she shook her head.
“Applejack, what's wrong?" Twilight asked, concerned at her friends sudden change of disposition.
“Twi, you don't understand. You're a... you were born a unicorn." she shook her head again.
“Would somepony please explain?" Twilight demanded, stamping a hoof.
“Tigers, Twilight Sparkle, are carnivores," Robert answered, in an even voice. “and until relatively recent it didn't matter where it came from.”
“What happened then?”
“Three hundred and fifty years ago, five hundred years of internecine warfare came to a head.” Applejack blinked. “Sorry. Tigers and Earth ponies fought for more than five hundred years, and three hundred and fifty-years ago, it turned into a war.”
“Why didn't Celestia stop it before then?" Twilight asked, looking between them.
“Ah don't think that Celestia knew Twilight." Applejack shrugged. She'd relaxed slightly, though she was still watching Robert warily. “They weren't huge fights, or even fights at all usually. Someone would go out, and then just not come back.”
“It was not all one sided. No few tigers went off and never came home." Robert sighed. “We have put it behind us, and I hoped that the ponies had done the same.”
“Some have." Applejack nodded. “Some haven't." she didn't give any clear indication of which side she fell on.
“I understand." Robert looked down for a moment. “Twilight, I will understand if you wish to withdraw your offer of hospitality.”
“No.” Twilight shook her head. She looked at Applejack. “I can't do that.”
“I know Twi. I know you can't, and I wouldn't ask." she sighed. “Some ponies might ask, but I won't.” she turned and started towards the door. Twilight looked back at Robert, then at Applejack.
“Wait." Applejack stopped and turned back. "If there was a war, wouldn't there be a record? Especially if it ended, there should be some record of how? Right?”
“There was Twilight." Robert said. “There was a treaty that ended it. No tiger living knows what that treaty contained. Indeed, only two beings ever did. Celestia, and Black Tail, the leader of the Tigers.”
“Twi, if you want to know, you'll have to ask Celestia." Applejack nodded. “She's the only one who can give you an answer." She walked out the door. Twilight pushed it closed.
“Will you tell me what you know about the war?" Twilight asked.
“No." Robert shook his head. “I am a Tiger. My accounting is based on the teachings of my mentor, and I would be as biased as any Tiger. Your answers must come from Celestia, if they are to have any ring of truth.”
“I see. You said that until then, the source of your meat was not a matter of concern." Twilight's eyes narrowed. “And now?”
“Now, we have learned. We still eat meat. It is an essential part of our lives. But now we have another way to create it.”
“Which is?" Twilight pressed.
“Transmutation.” Robert answered.
“Really? Doesn't that burn more energy than it's worth?" Twilight shook her head.
“Not so long as you exchange mass for mass. And the more you transmute, the more efficient it is." Robert shrugged. “At least that's what I'm told by Tigers who are smart enough to say such things. It also seems that turning something, into something similar is more efficient. Plus, those who do the work are those with a gift for it. So we grow vegetables which keep us over the winter. Huge fields of onions, potatoes, and rutabagas." he shuddered at the last.
“Not a fan of rutabaga?” Twilight asked.
“No. he coughed. I was once on the receiving end of a transmutation gone awry, which ended with a giant killer rutabaga rampaging through the village. My father held it, while my mentor blasted it. I can still taste it. It was... awful." Twilight suppressed a grin. “Ever since, I've been unable to stand them.”
“You can transmute things?" Twilight asked. "I'd like to see that.”
“I can. What would you like me to transmute?”
“How about a sweet roll, into a cupcake?” Spike offered, entering with a tray of sweet rolls. Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Leftovers from breakfast." he shrugged.
“Certainly." Robert smiled and narrowed his eyes. Two sweetrolls levitated off the tray, and settled on the table. He stood and stretched, then shifted his stance until his feet were aligned north-south, east-west. His fangs began to glow slightly, a soft reddish-orange, not unlike a unicorn horn. The sweetrolls glowed the same, rising slightly from off the table. They hung in the air for a moment, and then began to change. They compressed and started becoming taller, rising and falling as they stretched towards their new shape, while fighting against snapping into their old. Then in a flare of red-orange light, they snapped into shape . One with cream-white frosting topped with molasses covered oats, the other with dark chocolate frosting, covered in tiny quartz chips. Roger staggered slightly, and lay back down. Twilight reached over and closed Spike's hanging jaw.
“That was amazing. I've never seen transmutation in action. I mean, I've done it once or twice, but never really saw it. I was always focused on the magic. That was something else.”
“I'm glad you enjoyed it. Go ahead and eat. My thanks for your hospitality." he waved a paw. Twilight bit in. Her eyes rolled. Pinkie's surprise cake was the last thing she eaten that had such a sweet taste. It wasn't a favorite, but it was good in small increments. Spike on the other hand, dipped in a claw and sampled the frosting, then ate a few more bites. Then finished it in one.
“Even with amber center." Spike looked to be in heaven. Twilight chuckled.
“Glad you enjoyed." Robert said, sounding very tired.
“Are you alright? You sound tired.”
“Transmutation is hard, and I haven't had the practice, necessary to make it easy. And since it's not my talent, it's even worse." He laid his head down.
“What about your wings?" Spike raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. “Isn't that transmutation?”
“Yes, but the energy is all internal. I use some, but very little is expended. The rest is restored once I release the wings. Transmuting other objects requires I expend energy I don't receive in return. So I get and stay tired.”
“Sounds like spell-strain. I get that sometimes when I cast too many spells at once, or when I'm already tired." Twilight nodded.
“Indeed. Perhaps not so much now, as when you were younger?” Robert asked.
“Right. And not at all since I got my wings." She looked at them. “Odd. I hadn't thought of it before.”
Roger perked up a bit. “ Perhaps...”
“What?” Twilight asked, still focused on her wings.
“Perhaps it's because of your wings. Or rather, your transformation from Unicorn to Alicorn. Perhaps the reason you stopped feeling spell-strain is because you are generating magic? Do you have a thaumostatic field resonator?" Twilight blinked and looked at Spike.
“Top shelf, observatory." he said, and ducked upstairs.
“If that's true, then it means that Princess Luna, Celestia and Cadence also make their own magic." she looked at Robert. “Makes sense, right?
“I suppose, though it could have another explanation. Your Cutie Mark. It could be a sign that you are not just a potent magic user. But that you have always brought magic with you. Perhaps the transformation to Alicorn simply grew it in strength.”
“I didn't think about that.” she hadn't considered it before. “What made you think of it?”
“Spell-strain only occurs after magic use, right? So it seems that it would deplete the natural reserves you have. So if you're generating it, or more than the average anyway, it would make sense that your increasing strength would lead to it taking more and more to incur Spell-strain in you.”
Spike returned with the Resonator, and it's tripod. He set it down on the table and setup the pod, then screwed the Resonator on. “There we go.”
“We'll need a baseline." Twilight said, and looked at Spike. The Resonator turned to face him. “Say cheese.”
Chapter 3
“It's PARTY TIME!" Pinkie said, appearing for some reason on the wall above the door as Twilight, Spike and Robert entered. “Welcome to the neighborhood!” she waved her hoof. It was, as could be expected, of any party in which Pinkie was involved, a massive bash. The only downside was a small handful of earth ponies were the only ones in attendance, which got even smaller on discounting the Mayor and the Apple family. Twilight was slightly surprised to see Applejack at the party. She'd been sure her friend would have found somewhere else to be.
“Ah considered it." Applejack admitted. “But it was Granny who changed mah mind.” Twilight smiled slightly. She'd never known a pony yet who could resist once Granny set her mind to something. She certainly dreaded the idea of Celestia and Granny coming to a difference of opinion. She doubted that Celestia would use her powers, but she also doubted her mentor could come out on top without them. “Ah don't understand it Twi." Applejack said, snapping Twilight from her train of thought.
“Understand what?" Twilight asked.
“Granny." Applejack replied. “Ah mean, she knows what happened, and yet, she's not phased." Twilight followed her line of sight and saw that she was looking directly at Granny, who was talking to Robert. And laughing apparently at something he'd said.
“Maybe she's just at an age where she doesn't care to hold a grudge." Twilight suggested. “Or perhaps, she's learned to forgive and forget." she looked at Applejack in time to see both suggestions whiz by without entering into her mind. “There's something you're not telling me, isn't there." Twilight knew here friend well enough that she might be completely honest, but she wasn't above leaving things out.
“No. Yes. I don't want to talk about it." Applejack looked the other way.
“Fine. Then let's enjoy the party." Twilight said, gently shouldering her friend.
“Alright Twi, I guess I can do that." AJ said, and lead the way into the fracas of fun lovers.
“Hello Fluttershy." Rainbow Dash said, landing just outside Pinkie's place.
“Oh. Hello.” Fluttershy answered, almost too quiet to be heard over the din of the party. “Who moved in?”
“Some big tiger.”
“T-tiger?" Fluttershy swallowed.
“Yeah, he seems a bit of a softy though. So don't worry about it." Dash said, throwing a leg over Fluttershy's shoulder. They walked inside and just as the door opened, a water balloon flew through the air and hit Dash in the face. The party stopped dead, the music even coming to a halt as Vinyl Scratch popped the needle. For a second there was silence. “Who threw that?” Roger laughed uproariously. “Oh, you think that's funny fur-face?” Roger laughed harder, nodding. “See what you think of this!” Dash ducked forward, her wing scooping up an unthrown balloon. Roger's laughter ended in a splutter as he got a mouthful of water.
“My name is Robert, son of White-tail and Moonstalker. You have soaked my honor, prepare for vengeance.” He ended his speech with a tail flick that launched a balloon. Rainbow reared up to deliver a counter speech and got hit full in the chest with the balloon.
“Oh, you want to play like that huh?” Her wings swept up two more balloons and launched them. One hit Robert square on, the other sailed wide, and hit Big Mac. Mac turned his head slowly, reached out with one foot, and stomped the edge of a table, sending a veritable barrage of balloons back into the crowd. Scratch dropped the needle.
A couple hours later, the last of the now tired and sopping ponies left the building. The Apple family, after getting in more than a few good licks, including Granny cheating with an entire tub of water poured in the middle of the room, had headed home, to be back in time for chores. Twilight and Rarity were the last two to leave, with Robert and Spike. They'd offered to help clean up, but Pinkie, still full of her usual bottomless energy said Gummy was all the help she needed and shooed them out the door.
“Robert, I must say, it has been a pleasure to meet you.” Rarity said. “I never knew my designs had reached the very edges of Equestria.”
“Indeed. Though I never realized that they were all the product of one pony.” Robert replied. “I always thought ''Design by Rarity' was the name of the group of ponies. Like the Apple family.” Rarity flushed.
“Oh, how I wish, but it's just me and my little Sister. Even so, it's a bit hard sometimes.”
“I understand. Wait until I write my sister. She will be beyond jealous.” Robert grinned. Rarity blushed even brighter.
“Twilight, I'm going to walk Rarity home, okay?” Spike said. Twilight nodded. He walked off with Rarity.
“I'm sensing some jealousy there.” Robert said, as the Dragon and Unicorn walked away. Twilight laughed.
“Spike has a bit of a crush.” she smiled and told him about the diamond dogs. Robert laughed. “So we try not to tease him.”
“Well, does he have any other guy friends?” Twilight blinked.
“I don't know. I don't think so, except for maybe Big Mac. I never noticed that.” she started thinking about it.
“Don't worry, I'll talk with him. So, tell me, the yellow Pegasus. What's her name? I never got around to meeting her.”
“Oh, that's Fluttershy. She's... not a big party pony.” Twilight laughed. “I don't know that it was necessarily the best place to meet her. Maybe we'll see her before you leave.”
“Maybe. If not, I'm sure I'll run into her sometime.” Robert smiled. “So, I've had a bit of a long day, why don't we head back to the library.”
Twilight lead the way, and settled Robert into the pillows on the floor. She found a blanket for him and trotted upstairs. She'd considered flying but was too tired to trust her wings. She sat down at her desk, and began composing a letter to Celestia. She thought about how to address it for a long moment.
'Dear Princess Celestia,
Ponyville has a new visitor. A tiger, if you can believe that, by the name of Robert. Well, that's what he says, Pinkie is the only one who can pronounce his name in Tiger. He's here to see Zecora, to learn from her. He's not what I expected from a Tiger. For one, he doesn't have any stripes, and for another, he seems to be a wizard. I didn't know there were tiger wizards. Applejack doesn't seem to like him. She says it because of some war that happened between tigers and earth ponies, but she seems to be the only one who it bothers. Robert said I should ask you, so his opinion didn't bias me. I'm not sure what he meant. Other than that, he seems to be alright.
Your friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle'
Twilight rolled the letter and sealed it with ribbon and wax. Then she climbed into bed, adjusted her wings and settled down to sleep.
---
The door clicked softly under Spike's claws, and he stepped inside, then closed it behind him. It clicked again.
“Spike.” The purple dragon jumped. “Sorry.” Robert's eyes glowed slightly.
“I didn't mean to wake you.” Spike said.
“It's alright. I was waiting for you.” Spike blinked.
“For me?” he shook his head. “Why?”
“Twilight explained your crush on Rarity.” Spike flared red. “Don't worry. I think she's kind of oblivious as well. However, I also want to ensure you that you face no competition from me.” Spike blinked, and tension seemed to wash out of him.
“I didn't think... I'm glad to hear that.” Spike sighed. “Of course with all the pony competition, I probably don't stand a chance.”
“Don't worry. Things like this have a way of working out for the best. Now, as for the other thing, Twilight was telling me you don't have many guy friends. At least not that she knows of.”
“Well...” he rubbed his foot on the floor. “Not really, I mean there's Big Mac, and Pip. But there aren't a lot of guys around town.” he shrugged.
“I had noticed that. And that being the case, I hope we can be friends.” Robert held out his paw.
“I think I'd like that.” Spike shook his hand, and yawned. “For now though, I think I'm going to bed.”
“Indeed. Good night Spike.”
“Good night.”
---
The following morning, after breakfast, Twilight, Robert, and Spike left the library. “So, tell me more about your mentor.” Twilight asked.
“Hmm... let's see. His name, translated as near as I can manage, is: The inestimable Dawn-seer the True Eyes of Dawns First Light.” He muttered the name under his breath. “Yes, I think that's right.”
“Does he have a shorter name?” Spike asked, beating Twilight to the punch.
“Dawn-Seer. That's what my mother calls him. My father calls him Dawny for reasons he rather adamantly refuses to explain. I call him sir.”
“How did he get that name?” Twilight asked.
“He was born as Dawn-seer. When he became apprenticed to the previous Shaman, he was given the name True Eyes, because one of his special talents is seeing through illusions. And when he became Shaman himself, His last right of ascension was completed just as Dawn broke. So his mentor gave him the name Dawn's First Light.”
“Makes sense. Twilight nodded. “Did you get one?”
“No.” Robert was not telling the truth. She knew, and she knew that he knew that she knew. She decided not to press the issue. Spike smiled.
“Liar.” he poked Robert's shoulder with a claw. “Tell the truth.”
“Spike.” Twilight half-yelped.
“It is Wing-kisser.” Spike laughed out loud. Twilight looked confused.
“My talent for shape shifting. I used it when I fought my brother, and it didn't go quite according to plan.” Robert sighed. “I attempted, to use my wings to stymie him long enough to grab hold with my jaws. He dodged my attempt. But I did not miss.” Spike fell to the ground laughing.
“So you... ow...” Twilight shook her head.
“Indeed. My brother made fun of me for it then, and the name stuck. My mentor made it official when I became his apprentice. I have a sneaking suspicion that I will never live it down.” Twilight Sparkle nodded. Spike continued to laugh. “You think that's funny eh? How about this?” Orange light flashed in Robert's eyes. Spike's scales vanished, replaced with short, soft fur. “Laugh that off Fuzzball.”
“Robert.” Twilight said, in that scolding tone of voice all student's know. Before she could even start though, there was another flash and the scales returned. Spike dusted himself off as he stood up.
“That's a cool trick. How'd you do that?” Spike asked, a little awestruck.
“That? It's a prank charm. Only takes a little juice and doesn't last for more than a minute at most. Good for pranking friends, but not much else.” Robert coughed. “My mentor is a great believer in practical lessons.” Twilight rolled her eyes. Just what she needed, another prankster. As if the very thought summoned her, Twilight saw Rainbow Dash's trail in the sky, plummeting towards them. She was intent on tackling the big tiger. Twilight opened her mouth, to explain exactly why that was a bad idea, then closed it. Some lesson's couldn't be explained. The noise from the impact was not unlike a piece of meat slamming down on a cutting board. A dull meaty thud. In fairness, Roger did stagger sideways under the impact, but beyond that, he seemed unaffected.
“Oh. G--” Spike ended up covered in oat muffin. Twilight had to laugh. Dash fell back on her flanks and shook her head.
“Note to self: Don't do that again.” She looked around. “Morning all.”
“Morning.” Twilight managed, still laughing. “We're on our way to the Everfree forest. What's the morning weather?”
“Clear and sunny to the edge of the forest. After that, it's anyone's guess.” Dash grinned.
“Do you think I could get a little rain?” Spike asked, from somewhere beneath a mountain of regurgitated muffin. Dash laughed, and disappeared for a moment, then returned with a small raincloud. Once Spike was clean, she shooed it away, and then left them alone. They continued to the edge of the forest, and as Twilight predicted, they encountered Fluttershy. As well as Applejack and Applebloom.
“Twi.” Applejack ignored Robert. Robert ignored her. Twilight idly wondered if she'd done something to make the universe was mad at her for.
“Hello Twilight.” Applebloom said. “Hello Robert.” Robert dipped his head.
“Hello Applebloom.” Applejack pretended to study a tree.
“Hello.” Fluttershy's voice was softer than usual. Robert smiled, mouth closed. And he purred. Twilight blinked. Tigers weren't supposed to be able to do that. But then... he could do magic. Why wouldn't he be able to purr? Fluttershy reached out and rubbed his chin. He purred louder. Twilight rolled her eyes.
“I'm Robert.” He said, after a moment, and held out his paw.
“Fluttershy.” she answered and put her hoof in his paw. “Pleased to meet you.”
“As I am you.” he bowed his head, as he had for Applebloom. Fluttershy blushed. Twilight walked around, and sidled up to AJ.
“Surprisingly interesting tree.”
“Don't start.” AJ grunted.
“Wow, what's up with you?” Twilight asked.
“Ain't no one seems to agree with me.” AJ said, in a slightly accusatory tone.
“And why do you think that? Hmm... everyone else seems willing to let it go. Even Granny Smith seems to like him.”
“An I don' understand that either.” AJ shook her head. “It's not him Twi, not who he is. It's what. I just, I can't do it.” Twilight reached out, and put a leg over her friends shoulder.
“Listen, I know you don't want to talk about why. I understand wanting to keep somethings to yourself. If you ever want to tell someone, I'm here for you.” Twilight squeezed the earth pony's shoulder.
“Thanks Twi.” the two turned back. To see the others covered completely in butterflies. Four pairs of eyes looked back out of butterfly suits. Spike sneezed and the butterflies exploded away.
“Awww.” Applebloom said and laughed.
“Sorry, they were tickling me.” Spike said, smiling.
The group continued forward into the forest, Applebloom leading the way into the woods, Birds flocked around Fluttershy, tweeting and singing. She listened intently, nodding occasionally, and replying to particularly interesting comments. Twilight found herself hard pressed to understand how her friend did it. Once she'd cast a spell to let her understand birds, and while one or two was interesting to listen to, the chorus that surrounded Fluttershy had been enough to make her head ache. And yet her pale friend had no problem listening and answering them all. It impressed her to no end. They paused a few times on the path, Fluttershy calling out to Applebloom. There seemed little rhyme or reason for the stops, though Twilight suspected they were being warned of the movements of the more dangerous beasties. Eventually, they reached the edge of the clearing to Zecora's house. Even as Twilight opened her mouth to call, the exotic Zebra stepped around the side of the house. She seemed completely unsurprised to see the visitors, not even Robert. Twilight had a feeling that Fluttershy wasn't the only one being warned of things by the birds.
“Welcome my friends, both old and new. It is nice to see and meet you. She looked around. "I don't suppose you mind if I don't rhyme for a bit? I don't see the need to keep up the charade, since we're all good friends.” She looked at Robert. “Or we will be soon I hope. I am Zecora.”
“I am Robert, son of White-tail and Moonstalker. Student of Dawn-seer the True Eyes of Dawn's First Light. I seek your tutelage in the ways of magic.” Robert said, bowing his head low.
“You are truly Dawny's student?” Zecora asked, then burst out laughing.
“I am.”
“Then tutelage you shall have. Come in, come in all.” she motioned them inside, then shouldered the door open..The others followed her in, a bit reluctantly in AJ's case. Twilight nudged her gently in the door. “Now that we are all here, why do you not show me what you can do?”
“As you wish teacher.” Robert's eyes flashed bright-red-orange, and his fur rose up. He unfurled his wings above him, and then folded them down back into his body. Light rippled the length of his body, turning his fur to scales and back again. He disappeared, from his tail forward, into nothing but a set of teeth and glowing eyes. Then snapped back to sight. Light flickered in the pantry and the table instantly set itself, including a teapot. A moment later the teapot whistled cheerily. He blinked once and sat down heavily. “That's all I can do.”
“Very impressive that is. I can see why Dawny would send you to me. Those are certainly potent tricks, but to harness your talent, more than magic you will need.” Zecora paused to pour the tea. “While magic has it's place, knowledge of the wilds in the world will serve you well no matter where you roam. I will teach you what your mentor cannot, because he himself is a student. Though value you might not see in it now, in the future you will come to know what use it can be.”
“I thank you for you words. I shall hold them in mind, as I learn.” Robert bowed his head.
“Indeed. Also, you should learn from Twilight Sparkle.” Zecora said. Twilight choked on her tea.
“Me? Wh-” Applejack stopped her with a hoof on the shoulder.
“Please, don't. Trust me Twi, that comment never leads to anything good.” Twilight nodded.
“I'm a student myself. These wings don't exactly make me all knowing.” she flexed her wings slightly.
“Which is why you Twilight Sparkle, will be a perfect teacher. You understand that all continue to learn. Even as you teach, you learn. I have learned much as I have taught you and your friends. And I think you will learn much from Robert.” Zecora nodded at him. “If of course he has not learned already the lesson.”
“I...” Twilight blinked. “I only know how to learn, not how to teach.”
“It's not so hard. Find out what the student knows, and then teach what you know that the student does not. And learn what he knows that you do not. Is that not how you were taught?”
“I guess it was.” Twilight nodded. “I guess maybe we should leave you two to get started.”
“Us three.” Applebloom interjected. Applejack opened her mouth to object and was immediately subject to a tiny, angry version of Fluttershy's stare. She didn't back down and returned the stare. “Big Sis, we've been over this. Granny said I could come here and learn from Zecora.”
“And I said you shouldn't be around him alone.” Applejack fired back.”And since Granny Smith ain't here that means...”
“Nothin', because I'm not alone. I'm here with Zecora. Besides, your fear is completely irrational.” Applebloom answered the taunt. Applejack inhaled. Twilight opened her mouth.
Zecora slammed a hoof down onto the table. “You two will stop. You are upsetting the balance of my home, and endangering us all.” Twilight looked around. Several of the magical implements were definitely looking unhappy. On reflection, she realized she wouldn't be able to explain exactly how she knew that. “If you wish to fight, you will do it outside my home. As for my student, he will behave as I expect all my students to behave.” Applebloom lowered her head. Applejack stood her ground for a moment. Then she looked away. “Now, I have lessons to teach, and too little room in which to make my speech.”
“Thank you for the tea.” Twilight said.
“You're welcome Twilight.” Zecora said. “Come again soon.”
“I will. Come on AJ.” Applejack looked at her and nodded.
“Thank ya for the tea Zecora.” AJ turned and headed out the door. Twilight followed, and Fluttershy joined them a moment later.
Walking back through the forest, the three walked in silence. At the edge of the forest, Fluttershy said her good-byes, and flew away, followed by a swarm of birds. Twilight smiled and shook her head. She continued on with Applejack and they reached the fork leading to the Farm and Ponyville. “Have you heard back from Princess Celestia?” AJ asked, as they stopped.
“Not yet, but I think she's in the Crystal Empire for a meeting with Cadence, so it might be a day or so before she can reply.” Twilight answered. She looked close at Applejack. “Are you going to be alright?”
“Eeyup.” Applejack smiled. It wasn't her usual exuberant smile, but it wasn't as forced as Twilight expected.
“If you need anything, you let me know, okay?” Twilight said.
“I will Twi, I promise.” Applejack turned and walked down the road home. Twilight watched her go, and saw Spike off to Rarity's, then turned and took a few steps, before leaping into the air. She winged her way home, enjoying the feeling of flight. She took to it like a duck to painting, as Rainbow Dash had pointed out once, after Twilight had smashed into bank of clouds, and become stuck. Rainbow Dash's raucous laughter hadn't helped matters. That said, even if she wasn't very good, flying itself was a feeling she enjoyed. Landing on the other hand. She still couldn't quite get the of. It wasn't that she didn't understand the technique. It wasn't that she was incapable of doing it. It was the transition that got her. Every single time. She slowed down, gliding towards her balcony. Her wings spread out, flaring to bring her to a stop and she lost it. She tumbled through the air, out of control for a moment. Then. A flash, and she was standing safely and perfectly on the balcony.
It seriously annoyed Rainbow Dash, but she was not above doing it, if it saved her injury or embarrassment. Besides it wasn't as though Rainbow Dash was around to...
“Twilight.” Rainbow Dash shook her head from inside the tree. “You're going to have to learn to land sometime.”
“But not today.” Twilight said, slightly smugly.
“Incorrect Twilight.” Rainbow Dash grinned, tapping Twilight's nose. “I just had your number one assistant rearrange your schedule. Today is dedicated entirely to flying practice. I was going to take you up for a lesson in advanced cloud busting, but now I see we need to spend the day landing. Time to learn the fun of Bump and Go.” Dash's smile was immense.
Chapter 4
“You're doing this just to torment me, aren't you?” Twilight asked, a couple hours in.
“No.” Dash answered, suppressing a smile. “I'm doing it for my amusement. The fact that it's tormenting you is an unintended bonus.” Twilight glared. “Seriously, landing is important. Right guys?” Dash had recruited several other pegasi to assist her. Derpy Hooves, a mail pony who Twilight knew quite well, considering her continual visits to deliver books to the library, or send some on loan to other libraries.
“Yes. Landing is very important.” She blinked. Twilight made a note to ask her about her eyes. It wasn't exactly an easy subject to breach, but she didn't want to go behind the other ponies back. Not since Twilight liked her. She couldn't quite call her a friend, but she did want to.
“YEAH, GOTTA KNOW HOW TO LAND.” Bulk Biceps was impossible to miss. Literally. He was not the most subtle of ponies, and for a Pegasus, he was immensely strong. She'd seen him wrestle Big Mac to the ground. She had in turn, seen Big Mac wrestle bears without breaking a sweat.
Several other pegasi nodded in agreement. Twilight sighed. She knew when she was out numbered. She didn't like it. But she was willing to accept it. “Okay, fine. Look. I can land. I can fly. But changing between flying and landing is the problem.”
“OVERTHINKING.” Biceps nodded sagely.
“Yeah, you need to... Derpy paused, one eye moving independently of the other as she thought. “Stop trying so hard. Just let it happen naturally.”
“They're right Twilight. Don't transition, just do it. From fly to land. It's all one thing.” Rainbow said, gliding forward, and touching down precisely. “Trust me, this is Rainbow Crash talking. It's all about thinking about it as one thing.” She looked Twilight straight in the eyes. “Now, Up!” Twilight leaped into the air. Dash coughed away the dust. “Well, at least she's mastered taking off.” The other Pegasi laughed. Twilight tumbled into Rainbow Dash.
“Sorry.” Twilight mumbled, as she untangled herself.
“Mind if I try?” Derpy asked Rainbow Dash. Dash waved a hoof at her. Derpy smiled at Twilight. “Follow me.” She turned and spread her wings and took off into the air. Twilight leaped up and followed. Derpy didn't fly terribly high. In truth, she didn't fly much at all. Instead, she would flap a short distance, then glide. Then rise and glide. Twilight found that not only was it surprisingly efficient, but that it was the only way to keep pace. Derpy didn't say anything once they were in the air, nor while they were flying. In fact, as long as they were going, she seemed entirely focused on what was happening in front of her, more than anything else. Eventually she simply touched down. Twilight landed alongside, then blinked.
“I landed. How?” Twilight asked.
“You weren't thinking about landing, were you?” Twilight thought for a moment, and shook her head. “See, just let the wind flow naturally.
“Huh. I guess. Thanks...” Twilight eyed the pale purple Pegasus. “Is Derpy your real name?”
“Deirdre. But you can probably guess why the nickname.” she grinned. Twilight smiled back.
“I've noticed. Has anyone tried to help you?” Twilight asked.
“Not really. I can fly just fine, as long as I don't get distracted. So no one really bothered to look too close. One of the doctors said something about the inside of my ears, but I didn't understand it.” she shrugged, and stretched her wings. “Anyway, we should get back before Rainbow Dash starts to worry too much.”
“Yeah, she's a big worry wart.” Twilight had caught sight of Dash in the trees. She twitched her head towards the woods. Derpy's eyes widened, and then she winked.
“Tell me about it, all the time, safety this, padding that. She sounds like one of those little old lady fliers, who only go out for leisurely flights.” the gray pegasus shook her head. “I'm surprised she even gets anywhere.”
“I know, always looking before she leaps. It's a wonder she can keep up with Fluttershy.”
“Hey!” Dash burst indignantly out of the trees, only to be greeted with laughter. After a moment she started laughing as well, realizing she'd been good and had. “Alright you two, let's get back to practicing.” The three flew back towards the rest of the group.
---
Robert meanwhile was finding out that Zecora was not the kind of teacher he was used to. His mentor was eminently practical, and preferred to teach him to utilize spells by throwing him into situations that required rapid mastery of them. Such as being thrown off a cliff to fine-tune his ability to transform wings. Admittedly, ten feet was not a particularly huge cliff, but since he wasn't warned first, it had seemed a lot larger.
Zecora on the other hand, wasn't much for such theatrics. She gave him a list of ingredients, after determining his skill with potions, with which she was mildly impressed. “Well, you certainly surpassed Dawny. Of course, I taught him all that he knows, so I know you have.”
Robert was in turn impressed with her ability to say things like that without getting tangled up in her own words. She'd scribbled down a list of ingredients. “All to be found within the confines of the forest. No cheating.”
“Truly you know all things I learned from my Mentor.” Robert replied.
“Yes. I know his tricks well. Now off with you, before this new brew starts to smell.” she said nothing more about Applebloom's failed potion. The small redheaded pony was already mopping up. The smell was all but indescribable, and Robert was more than happy to get out of there. His whiskers were still smoking some time later, as he sat at the base of a tree, trying to figure out how to retrieve a flower near the top. It was, he had learned, impervious to magic. His head still rang from an attempt to retrieve it telekinetically. He shook his head.
“Everything okay?” Fluttershy asked, drifting down in a cloud of birds and butterflies. Robert blinked. “I mean, if you're not supposed to be sitting here staring.”
“As a matter of fact, I am in need of some... advice. I have been tasked with acquiring that purple flower near the top of the tree, but it has so far eluded me.” Fluttershy looked up.
“Oh. she smiled. Orchidaceae nil Thaumus.” she smiled. “It's not a very nice flower. It tends to remove magic on things around it. Twilight fell victim too it not too long ago.” she looked around. A bird flew in, and landed on the branch where the flower grew on it's vine. It hopped forward, and pecked away the stem. Another bird flew in, and snatched the flower out of the air, before depositing it down in front of Fluttershy. “Thank you, you two.”
“And thank you Fluttershy.” Robert said.
“You're welcome. Umm... would you like some company?” she asked.
“I would welcome it.” Robert bowed, and picked up the flower, and tucked it away into his shoulder bag. He looked at the list, and showed it to Fluttershy.
“Hmmm... I know where there's a few. Umm, this way.” she led, and Robert followed. It was not, he considered, cheating. She hadn't said he couldn't get help. And besides, he did want the company. The two walked through the forest. Neither said too much.
“Thank you for your help.” Robert said, as they collected the last flower.
“You're quite welcome.” Fluttershy smiled. “I don't think I've ever walked through the forest without getting warned to stop before.”
“I guess some monsters know enough to stay away from a Tiger.” Robert shrugged. “Thank you also for your company. I'm glad you had the time.”
“Oh, you're welcome. I like to come and see what animals need things. It's normally a little boring. I'm glad to have someone to talk to. Have a good day.” she took wing into the air, and flew off towards Ponyville. Robert turned and headed back to Zecora's.
“So, did you find all the flowers?” Zecora asked, as he returned.
“I did. I had some help.”
“Oh?” Zecora asked, her eye brow raised.
“Fluttershy helped me with the Orchid, and knew where to find the white rose, but the rest I found myself. Though she did accompany me.”
“Honesty is the best policy. Tell me about it, as we prepare the potion.”
“Certainly, she caught up to me just as I reached the Orchid....” Sometime later, the two were out and about, following along a rarely used trail. Robert was carrying a very large basket, containing a single well packed potion. The first one they'd crafted had fallen and raised a stink that had made the earlier failure smell like fine perfume. The three had decided to knock off for the day, while the smell dissipated. So they'd first dropped Apple Bloom off at home, and then started on their way.
“Just where are we headed, oh teacher?” Robert asked. His eyes were glowing faintly, as he kept his magic wrapped tight around the basket on his back. He was in no mood to brew the potion a third time. Nor to smell it a second.
“Far off to the west of the forest. For there we will find a sick Roc in it's nest.”
“Pardon me, but this sounds like a job for Fluttershy.”
“It would be indeed, but I know this Roc and ponies he hates. Better to see me and thee than our sweet friend.”
“Ah, I see. Do we need to worry? I know a little of Roc's and well... they're not always the most friendly of birds.” Robert was not afraid of many things, but Roc's were very high on the list of things he was afraid of.
“No, this Roc is an old friend, and he eat's only fish. Most things do not agree with his diet.” Zecora shrugged. “Including ponies, I know first hoof.” she smiled a mysterious little smile.
“Ah, I see. That would explain a thing or two.”
“Indeed.” The rest of the journey was made in silence. They took the long route around the western edge of the forest. They could have gone through, but the dangers of the forest risked the potion. They'd decided it was easier to just walk around the edge than try and slip past the dangers. There were still dangers to be found, but those few things willing to come out in the daylight were things Zecora knew how to scare off. The end of the trek did bring one new challenge.
“Oh, I forgot.” Zecora said, looking up at a nearly sheer cliff, on top of which perched a huge nest. She turned and trotted back a few dozen yards. “Bergot? We have your potion!” she shouted up the side of the mountain. A huge black and gold feathered head appeared over the side of the nest.
“Zecora, I would come down and get it but...” a sharp wind carried the result of his illness north-east, towards Ponyville, but landing instead just outside the lair of the Manticore. The Manticore just happened to be returning from a drink at the nearby spring. The noise that best described the impact was a particularly wet squelch.
“Yes, I see. You are much too sick to fly free.” She took a deep breath. “So you we will bring it in your nest. Just wait there, you need the rest.”
Robert rolled his eyes. “I hope there's a path, and I don't have to climb a mountain and jump.”
“Ummm....” Zecora coughed into a hoof.
“I see.” He sighed, and looked around.
“I am jokin'. The path is just a little broken. I do not like to walk it, but it will be nice to have someone with which to talk.”
“Oh boy. Well, ask and I will tell what you want to hear.” He motioned with one paw. “Lead on dear mentor, and I will find the best path to take the medicine safely after you.
“Follow me closely then.” Zecora led the way up the path, picking carefully through the rocks. Some of them she kicked away from the middle of the path, others she stepped around. Robert followed her, shifting side to side to avoid the rocks and keep the potion safe.
“So, how did you meet Dawn-seer?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the path for anything that Zecora missed.
“By his birth.” Zecora answered, then paused to shove a particularly large rock out of the way. “My father was the shaman of the village, a Zebra place called Salt of the Earth.” she paused again, then shifted around a rock too large to move. “Dawny's mother was visiting with his father, as an ambassador. When she went into labor, it sounded like a war.”
Robert idly shoved the hefty rock out of his path with one paw. Zecora turned at the sound and shook her head. “My father being the shaman, was naturally present. So too it was, that Princess Celestia also made a visit. Why I do not know, though I did suspect. While the adult's talked, I was asked to watch Dawny, and I took the opportunity, him to inspect.” She stopped and stepped carefully across a short gap. “There must have been some magic in that old silk hat I...” Zecora trailed off, then looked back. “You heard nothing.”
“Must have been the wind.”
“I reached out to touch him, and there between us a spark did fly. I was quite in shock, but Dawny did not cry.” she chuckled at the memory, and reached up to touch the markings on her face. “That was his first stripe, and the first of mine.”
The path leveled out, just below the edge of the Roc's nest. “Bergot, we are here?” Zecora called. The big bird stuck it's head over the side of the nest.
“Thank you Zecora. If you could throw it up?” Zecora turned. Roger nodded. He released his grip on the basket, and the potion flew out. Up, and up into the air. The cork came free and he funneled the medicine down through a glowing orange funnel into the mouth and throat of the great bird. When it was empty, he brought the bottle down and tucked it back into the basket.
“Thank you Zecora, I'm feeling better already.” the Roc said, shifting it's weight around. “Truly, your potions work wonders.”
“Glad I am to help. More glad to have a chance to also train my new pupil, though he be no mere whelp.” She smiled at Robert, who nodded his head.
“Pleased to be of service.” Robert shrugged.
“And he's humble.” The Roc winked at Zecora, who laughed. “In fact, I feel good enough to fly. I think I'll go find something to eat.” He pushed to his feet and leaped into the sky, swooping away to the north.
“Glad I am to see that he feels better. Now we must be going home, ere the rain makes us wetter.”
“That was a bit of a stretch, oh dear teacher.” Robert chuckled.
“You try rhyming all the time. Why do you think I came to Ponyville instead of a place which grows oranges?” Robert thought it over and laughed hard.
“So I see. Now, speaking of returning home, tell me teacher, have you ever flown?”
“Do I look like a Pegasus?” Of course not, my own four hooves have always been enough for me. she looked at the approaching storm. “But, in this case, I am open to options.”
“I can't quite fly, but I can see the house from here, and I'll bet I can glide that far. If not, we'll still be a lot closer than if we walked down and then back.” he shrugged. “Besides, shouldn't I exercise my power?”
“Sense you do make, but watch the acrobatics, or I'll turn you into a cake.” Zecora said and walked up beside him.
“A cake? Really?” he asked, laying down for her to climb into the basket. She prodded him with a hoof.
“You'd make too many cupcakes for any oven.” she laughed and climbed aboard. Robert looked at her for a long moment then stood up.
“Fah, I'm just fluffy. Hold on teacher.” magic flashed and two huge orange wings stretched out. Roger took two steps, then bunched his muscles and threw them both into the air. The wind caught his wings and they soared for a moment. Then gravity made itself known. Magic flared again, and his wings grew larger. The drop turned into a fast glide and they swept low across the treetops.
Zecora said something, but the wind swept it away behind them, and avoiding smashing into anything was slightly more important than listening. They swept over the trees and seemed to be descending too much. Robert scanned the skies ahead and shifted course. He heard Zecora scream something but it was lost again. The fire swamps were not the place he'd have gone if he had another option, but they were no other warm air currents around, and he could see birds circling in an updraft. The warm air rising off the bogs and fire pits wasn't enough to get them very high, but every bit of altitude was appreciated. He swung around and caught Zecora's house in his sights. He stretched out his wings and swept down towards it. As they approached two things became quite clear. First was that they were going far too fast. And second that like Twilight, Roger had problems with his landings. As they swept over the house he yelled. “Jump!”
Zecora leaped from his back to the roof, even as he flared his wings to slow himself down. The moment she left his back, he dipped his wings forward, and tucked the end of the right, bringing him down in a spiral. The nature of such things being what it is though, he immediately tripped over a root and tumbled into the brush as he attempted to land. Zecora trotted around her house to see a long orange tail sticking out of the brush, twitching slightly.
“Tell my student, are you alright? You seem to have had a problem at the end of your flight.”
“Ha, ha, ha.” came the sound from the bush.
Chapter 5
Twilight sighed. Her schedule for the day consisted entirely of reading her book. It was the sort of book one set aside an entire day for. Well, Twilight did anyway. Most ponies would have taken one look and found something else to do. Anything.
Advanced Thaumatic Field Theory and the Morphic Resonance Principle in Mammals was not typical pleasure reading. She was not in truth, reading the entire book. Instead she was re-reading the five chapter piece dealing with Alicorn magic. Pausing, she checked the cover again, just to be sure Discord wasn't listed as a Co-author, even in the finest of prints. She turned back to her page and dug back in. Until there was a knock at the door. She looked up, and leveled her gaze at the door. Personally she hoped whoever it was would go away. The knock came again. Sighing, and marking her place, she stood and walked to the door. She opened it to find the Mayor outside.
“Hello Madame Mayor, something I can do for you?”
“As a matter of fact Twilight, there is.” Twilight stepped back and extended a wing to invite her in. The Mayor didn't seem at all bothered by her status as a princess, for which Twilight was infinitely grateful. “I was noticing that you and your friends seem to be spending an awful amount of time in the Everfree.”
“Yes, we're exploring the castle in which Princess Celestia and Luna grew up in.”
“Really? Very interesting. In that case, I feel all the more obliged to ask you to take care. I know you do not intend to cause trouble, and I appreciate that. However, I am concerned that some of the monsters and dangerous animals might follow you back.” The mayor paused, carefully not making any mention of the line item in the budget, known as the Monster Repair Budget. It had been fairly small before Twilight came, but it had been steadily growing, fortunately, after a comment from the Mayor, Princess Celestia had allocated some funds for the Budget.
“Oh, yes. I'm sorry, I meant to talk to you about that. We've been taking the proscribed precautions and Fluttershy has worked out a warning system with her animal friends. Most of them report creatures getting restless either to her or to Pinkie.” The Mayor quirked an eyebrow. “Don't think too hard about it Mayor. I don't either. I've also been studying several spells to help ward against the more dangerous creatures.”
“Well, thank you Twilight.” The mayor blinked. “Sorry, I'm just not used to any pony being able to see the potential consequences. It feels like that's half my job sometimes.”
“I know exactly what you mean. Then again, if they thought things through all the time, where would we be?” Twilight smiled and extended a hoof. The Mayor smiled back and shook it.
“Guess I'm glad you're in focus Twilight. I'll let you get back to your reading then.” Twilight showed the Mayor out and closed the door. She settled back to her book for only a moment, then looked around. Light flickered and a pad and quill appeared beside her. An inkwell joined them a moment later. She looked back to her book, the quill taking notes seemingly on it's own. Twilight managed to turn the page before she was interrupted again.
“Twilight!!!” Pinkie screamed, exploding through the door. “You'll never guess what I just heard?”
“Probably not.” Twilight said, knowing that she probably could but that the guessing game would take more time than letting Pinkie come to the point on her own.
“The Star-Swirl the Bearded traveling exhibit is coming to Ponyville!” Twilight perked up.
“Really? How'd you hear that?”
“Threw a party for a pony, who knew a pony, who knew a pony who...” Pinkie saw she was starting to lose Twilight. “Eventually a pony who knew the schedule.” She produced, from nowhere, a copy of said schedule, with the date outlined in pink highlighter.
“That's the day Cadance is going to visit. That's perfect.” Twilight smiled, and flashed her schedule down. She made a notation in it, and then sent it back. “We can spend the day looking at the exhibits. Thanks Pinkie.”
“My pleasure Twilight.” Pinkie glanced at the clock. “Oops, gotta go get the muffins out.” And she simply vanished. Twilight focused and the door swung shut. She turned back to her book, one ear cocked for further interruptions. A polite knock at the door very nearly missed her attention. She paused, but it did not repeat. For a moment she started to go back to her book, but as often happened, curiosity got the better of her, and she stood up. The knock hadn't repeated because the knocker was walking away. Robert and Rainbow Dash were in animated conversation when the door opened, and they looked back.
“Can I help either of you?” Twilight asked.
“I was going to see about a book, but Dash said it was your day off.”
“Now you've done it.” Rainbow stood on her hind legs and put a hoof over her heart. “Now she'll be talking about them all day.” she pretended to faint backwards, wings flapping gently to catch her. Her tail hung down, and Robert couldn't help himself. He reached out and batted at it, sending her spinning through the air sideways. “Whoa!” she righted herself after a minute. “That was... pretty funny. Of course you know this means war. Prank war that is.”
“Bring it on. I learned from some of the best.” Robert said, and stretched out a paw. Dash grinned and reached out with a hoof. Twilight opened her mouth to warn him, but he grabbed Dash's hoof. The joy buzzer turned him into perhaps the fluffiest ball of fur Twilight had ever seen. Of course, as Dash laughed, his tail reached out and brushed against her.
“Not bad, not bad. We'll just see what else you can concoct.” Robert said.
“Oh you will.” Dash said and turned. As she did, Twilight had to hold a straight face. Affixed to the cyan Pegasus was a sign, reading: 'Bolt me.' She disappeared in a rainbow flash.
“You know you've opened a can of worms, right?” Twilight asked, as she motioned Robert inside.
“I am aware. I had a talk with Fluttershy the other day.”
“Fluttershy? Really, where?”
“In the Everfree.” Twilight blinked. “I was gathering ingredients for potion making and she was there checking up on the animals. We talked while she helped me find some of the flowers I needed and I helped her with some of the less docile animals.”
“I always forget that she lives near the Everfree for a reason. She's just so...”
“Careful?” Robert asked.
“Why careful?”
“She's mighty strong.” Twilight's eyes widened. "You didn't know?”
“No.”
“Oh, yes.” Robert nodded. "We ran into a bear with a sore tooth. She had me hold it's paw while she dug out the piece of fishbone in it's mouth. It accidentally bit her, and she hit me reflexively. When I came to, the bear was holding my paw. I've been hit by Waterbuffalo, and she hit me harder than most of them. Of course, it took ten minutes to get her to stop apologizing.”
“Yeah, that's Fluttershy.” Twilight said. "I wonder if she's always been that strong?”
“Haven't known her that long, but I did know someone like her who was very strong and tended to... overcompensate was the word my mentor used. He accidentally hurt someone when he was little and spent years trying very hard to avoid it, so he eventually seemed to be weak. Of course, since his name was Bends-steel, it wasn't exactly a secret.”
“Right, anyway, Rainbow Dash?”
“Oh, right. Fluttershy spent most of her time talking about you guys, and she said the best way to win Rainbow Dash over was to fly or play pranks. And despite my Svelte frame, I'm not going to be flying anytime soon. So pranks it had to be.” he shrugged.
“Why can't you fly?” Twilight asked, pushing the door closed behind her.
“Do you want the scientific, or the magical explanation?”
“Both.”
“Naturally.” Robert nodded, and then looked to the blackboard. His eyes glowed faintly as several pieces of chalk sprang into motion, drawing several figures and expanded blow ups of several parts. At the end the chalk scrawled along the top: 'Comparison: Tiger and Pegasus Musculature.'
“Very nice. Faithful rendition of Hoofnardo's Vitruvian Mare.”
“Thank you. Never could understand what he did with the shoulder there. It always looked wrong to me.”
“Neither could I.” Twilight confessed. "Nor could my teachers. Eventually I had to ask Princess. Celestia about it. As it turns out, he did this.” she snagged a piece of chalk and drew in the lower corner. She was no professional artist, but she surpassed Rainbow Dash. "The muscles look wrong there, because the leg is drawn rotated ninety degrees. Most ponies can't turn that much so the muscle doesn't look right.”
“How did she know?” Robert asked curiously.
“It would seem she was the model. From her blushing, I suspect that's not all she modeled for.” Twilight winked.
“Ah, well. Anyway, If you look here, at the musculature connecting the wing to the rib cage, you'll notice a vast number of structural ligaments, enhancing the ability of the muscle to flex and apply power without ripping off the bones. Or tearing the muscle, especially with this ligature bundle here.” The bundle he indicated ran down the middle of the muscle.
“Got it. I've seen a lot of this... in a personal project.” Twilight thought about Scootaloo. "So where's the problem?”
“Over here.” He pointed to the tiger. "You'll notice here that the same musculature connection ligaments are already connected to the muscles here and here, used for...” he paused, framing his words.
“Rending and tearing while attacking. Giving an enhanced range of motion to the attacks you can deliver.” Twilight filled in.
“Yes.”
“I'm not squeamish, nor am I bothered the way Applejack is.” Twilight shook her head. She indicated with a hoof for him to continue.
“Anyway, when I change myself to grow wings, I don't have the option to attach to the wing muscles too, so even though I can glide, actually flying is out of the question.”
Twilight nodded, then did some math in her head. “According to this, technically a Pegasus shouldn't be able to fly either.”
“Indeed. And that's where the second part comes in.” the board started to flip. Twilight put a hoof out to stop it. He blinked just once and then nodded. He erased the board, and began writing. This time it was not a drawing, but an enormously complex magical equation. It ended in several magical runes. Twilight worked her way through it. Halfway through, she muttered something.
“Star-swirls incomplete theorem?” she said it to herself. As she reached the end, she looked at him. "You solved it?”
“No. However, I substituted Night-shadows morphic resonance corollary for Star-swirls. It doesn't completely solve it however. You'll notice here, that the alignment isn't quite right. The two theories don't match up. At least not exactly. There are attempts that have been made to bridge the two. None successful to my knowledge. However, it serves to illustrate the point sufficiently. Pegasus magical talents allow them to utilize the scattered background magic to overcome the difficulties in the square-cube law upscaling effect making it impossible for a pony to fly using that small of a wing span.” He pointed to a section. "This is the relevant section.”
“Very interesting. So what does it mean?”
“I no can has fly.” she blinked at him. "Even with an understanding of the mechanics of flight and the magical equations required to necessitate flight, I lack the inherent ability to express the magical power while also maintaining the transformative effect used to grant wings. And finally the ability to attach muscles strong enough to maintain flight, even should I be able to utilize the flight magic.”
“So no flying.”
“Right.”
“Something's off about this equation.” Twilight looked at the board, and tilted her head. "Did you add those runes?”
“No. They always appear when the equation is expressed.”
“Then...” she picked up a piece of chalk and an eraser and changed a number. The runes shifted. It still didn't look right. She changed another number. Robert watched for a moment, then changed a number himself. The runes shifted again.
“That's not...” he muttered. More chalk and erasers. More muttering from the pair. When Spike came back, an hour or so later for lunch, he saw the two of them sitting and staring at the board. Several pieces of chalk and erasers were hanging in the air, suspended by orange or purple magic. Every few moments, purple glowing beads would flick back and forth across an abacus. Then a number would disappear and be replaced. And each time the runes would shift. Spike opened his mouth to ask if they were hungry, when light flashed as the runes changed one more time and flared into a single rune. The chalkboard floated up into the air. Twilight nodded.
“So, it turns out that Star-swirl had the right idea, but he didn't have the proper implementation.” Twilight mused. "When does Night-shadow date from?”
“About two hundred years after Star-swirl's death. Plus or minus about two decades. There was still a lot of oral tradition, and calendars weren't terribly common.” he rubbed his chin. "I'm a little surprised he knew about Star-swirl's theorem. Everyone knew about Star-swirl, but things like this weren't usually published outside of their points of origin.”
“True, although records indicate that after leaving his post as Court Wizard to Princess Platinum, he traveled extensively, which might have led him into the lands of the Tigers.” Twilight thought for a moment. “And as potent as he was, I doubt he'd have problems avoiding becoming lunch.”
“Indeed. Perhaps we should write the new equation down.” Robert suggested.
“Yes, I'll get, oh, hello Spike.”
“Hello Twilight. Ummm... why is that floating?” he asked, slightly concerned.
“Oh, we were working on Star-swirls unfinished theorem, the one about Pegasus flight.” Spike nodded.
“The one you did the twelve page research paper on? Yeah, I remember that one.” Twilight blushed. While they talked, Robert had grabbed hold of the floating chalkboard and was convinced it was getting closer. It was, but because he was now several feet in the air.
“Spike can you get some paper and write this down?” Twilight indicated the board, then turned to Robert and looked around. "I thought you couldn't fly?”
“Huh?” The revelation was followed by a sharp thud. "Ow.”
“Twilight, get ready to catch.” Spike said. He picked up an eraser and took careful aim. Twilight opened her mouth, but the eraser was in flight already. It hit the equation, and broke one of the runic marks, breaking the spell. The board fell a half a foot before Twilight caught it.
“Nice work Spike.” Twilight smiled. Spike set to work copying down the equation, careful to annotate the error he'd created and mis-align the correct symbol. "You okay?” she asked Robert.
“Nothing injured but my pride.”
“You could probably fly you know, now that we've completed the theorem.” Twilight offered.
“Probably, but I'd rather not. I'll leave the wings for those meant to have them. Besides I've got enough to learn without adding flying to the list.” he stood and stretched. "Besides, it might only work as an inscription, instead of a spell, which might be helpful for lifting inanimate objects, but not something I want laid into my hide just to fly.”
“Good point.” Twilight paused. "Didn't you originally come to borrow a book?”
“I might have, but I'm not sure what it was. I'm certain I'll remember it eventually. However, since I have the whole day off, I'm thinking I might get lunch.” His stomach rumbled and Twilight's did as well.
“Sounds like an excellent plan. How about you Spike, you hungry?” the small purple dragon's stomach rumbled. "Guess I don't need a translation huh?”
“Nope.” Spike grinned. "I have an idea.”
---
Not long after, the three of them were sitting outside in one of the many cafe's in Ponyville. It wasn't a normal burger shack. In fact it was one of the few restaurants in town that catered to non-pony tastes. Spike was munching on a bowl of quartz, while reading a Power Ponies comic. Twilight had a big stack of hayfries, and a salad. Robert was eating fish. Spike was trying hard not to mention how good it smelled. Twilight was trying hard not to smell it at all.
“So, Power Ponies eh?” Robert asked.
“Yeah, they're awesome.” Spike said.
“What issue are you on?”
“Seven.”
“Power Ponies versus the Indomitable Iron Griffon.” Robert grinned. "Very interesting issue. Keep an eye on the backgrounds. Trust me.” Spike raised an eyebrow, then nodded.
“Comics, really?” Twilight asked. “Aren't those books without imagination?”
“Bah. Says a literature nerd.” Robert laughed. "Reading is reading isn't it?”
“I guess. It just seems....” Twilight shrugged.
“Silly.” Robert chuckled. "Don't worry, I've heard it before. Some get it in their heads that just because it's got pictures it's not as good as one of the classics. But really, they take just as long to get through an arc of story as the classics. True, you might not work as hard to imagine the entire thing, but there's still a lot to be imagined.”
“I don't have anything against comics, I really don't.” Twilight said.
“Sorry about that. I'm used to having to defend them to everyone.” Robert sighed. "Just something that bothers me. Probably the same thing you get when people rag on the classics.”
“Oh. Yeah, I see what you mean. I...” Spike's sudden bark of laughter cut her short. He pushed the book over for her to look at. She scanned the page for a moment, then blinked. In the background of the scene of the Power Ponies and Humdrum taking on the Iron Griffon, was a familiar alicorn shape. Dark blue. And being chased by what appeared to be angry white rabbits. Mistress Mare-velous head was obscuring her cutie mark, but Twilight was certain it was intended to be Luna.
“I wonder if she knows?” Twilight asked, smiling.
“It usually says inside the back cover when they have a guest star, or cameo.” Time Turner said, walking by. Twilight levitated the book and opened the back cover.
“Special appearance by Princess Luna, 10% of all sales proceeds going to benefit ponies displaced by the Plundervines.” Twilight read. "Guess she does know.”
“Guess your lesson about it being fun to be scared stuck.” Spike said, taking the book back.
“I wonder if I'll ever end up in one?” Twilight asked.
“You never know.” Time Turner wandered back the other way.
“Who is that guy?” Twilight asked.
Chapter 6
After lunch, Twilight went back to the library. Spike went off to continue doing whatever he'd been doing. She didn't question it. She knew a growing dragon needed his alone time, and she really did want to continue reading her book. Robert had recalled the title of the book he wanted, 'Potions and ingredients of the Everfree forest: A visual reference.' She'd given it to him and then closed the door. She settled back in with her book and notepad and delved deep into the mysteries of Alicorn magic as understood by the authors. Some of it, she had learned, was completely wrong. While Alicorns were capable of powerful feats, leaping tall buildings in a single bound wasn't one of them. At least not without flying, which was not listed as part of it.
Learning to use all three magics however was something Alicorns had to do. Applejack had said there wasn't magic to earth ponies, but Twilight wasn't sure that it was possible to do the things they could do without some kind of magic. It might not be the kind of flashy, showy magic that Unicorns did or the power that Pegasi showed in controlling the clouds, but there was magic there. Twilight was sure of it. She'd considered asking Pinkie, but Pinkie did things that were still inexplicable. Privately Twilight suspected she was capable of giving Discord a run for his money if she really put her mind to it. Twilight had no interest in giving her the incentive.
What she decided eventually was that her sample size was simply too small. She considered Zecora, but decided that Zebra and Earth Pony probably wasn't the same thing. So she stood up and walked out the door, and looked around for the first earth pony to catch her attention. Of course this meant that she wasn't paying quite enough attention and was bowled over by the twelve-legged menace of Ponyville, known as the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
“Hello Twilight.” Sweetie Belle said. They were the only two face to face, piled up in a scooter and pony tangle.
“Hello girls. Can I help you?” Twilight asked, horn glowing as she extricated the four of them from one another and the scooter and trailer.
“Yeah, Applebloom was telling us about the new tiger in town and we're hoping he'll help us get our Cutie Marks in Tiger Taming.” Scootaloo said.
“I don't know if that's a good idea, but he went to Zecora's. Just remember, if he says no, that doesn't mean he needs taming. Remember the Griffon Incident.” all three swallowed.
“Yes, Twilight.”
“Okay, go catch up to him then.” Twilight shooed them along. They took off, racing away. Twilight shook her head and started back on her way.
---
The Crusaders careened through the town in the direction they'd been pointed. As they crossed the bridge over the pond to Fluttershy's house, they found Robert and Rainbow Dash. She was hovering, and waving a piece of paper at him. Her tail was bushed out and her mane was standing on end, and every so often a bolt of electricity would crawl up her mane like it was a Jacob's Ladder. Robert on the other hand, was rolled on his back, paws in the air, laughing madly.
“You should see yourself.” he laughed. "You look like a hedgehog!”
“Yeah, because some pony listened to your silly 'Bolt me' sign.” she paused. "More than one somepony!”
“You did say that this means war. And all's fair in war.” Robert chuckled, as he rolled onto his stomach.
“Love 'n war.” Dash corrected automatically.
“Well, I'm lovin' War, but you seem to be having a shockingly bad time of it.” Robert grinned. Dash sighed.
“Fine. You got me good.” she grinned, then zoomed in close. "Just remember, this isn't over, not by a long shot.” she smirked, rolled over and disappeared in a blast of rainbow light. Robert sneezed.
“Is that him Applebloom?” Sweetie Belle asked as they trotted up. Scootaloo rolled her eyes.
“Do you see another tiger around here?” Sweetie's eyes narrowed and her mouth opened.
“Yes, that's him.” Applebloom interjected. "Hello Robert.”
“Greetings Ivlemos.”
“Huh?”
“It means Fellow Apprentice.”
“Oh.” Applebloom blushed. "Umm...” she was suddenly at a loss for words.
“Are these the indomitable Cutie Mark Crusaders of which I have heard so many... Interesting, stories?” he asked, eyes twinkling.
“Yup. I'm Sweetie Belle.” she said with a smile.
“And I'm Scootaloo.” she struck a pose on her scooter.
“Ah, I see. Is there something I can help you with?”
“Well....” Sweetie said.
“We were hoping you'd help us get our cutie marks, maybe in Tiger taming?” Applebloom asked hopefully.
“I don't know, you might have trouble taming such a mighty wild beast as me.” Robert drew up his head and gave his best toothy grin. Applebloom swallowed.
“Uh-oh.” Scootaloo saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon approaching.
“Bullies?” Robert asked.
“The worst.”
“Get yourselves ready to 'tame the tiger'. We'll give them something to remember.”
“What?” Sweetie asked. He didn't answer, but got to his feet and began to menace her. Her eyes went wide, then he winked at her. Then he lunged forwards towards Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon as they crossed the bridge. He landed well short, but they both jumped. Suddenly Scootaloo was in front of him, waving her scooter like a lion tamer's chair.
“Back, back you wild beast.” he backed off a step or two.
“Oh look, the Blank Flanks have a new pet, just as Blank as...” Robert Roared. All five jumped, but the two bullies screamed.
“Stay back, we ain't got 'im tamed yet.” Applebloom said, joining Scootaloo with the wagon.
“L-like we're afraid of...” Robert growled and snapped in the air, teeth clacking with a terrible sound. The bullies took the cue and bolted across the bridge, screaming. Once they were gone, Robert dropped to his haunches and laughed.
“I just love the smell of bullies in the morning, don't you?” he asked.
“Yeah.” All three checked, but no Cutie Marks appeared. Aww.
“Don't worry kiddos. Magic takes time. It's one of the first lessons I had to learn. So, tell me. Those two, they bother you much?” Robert asked.
“All the time.”
“Because we don't have our Cutie Marks.”
“And because they're jerks.”
“Now, now, don't judge a book by it's cover.” The three of them stared at him flatly.
“Don't give me that look. I despise bullies as much as you. I was not always the big, handsome tiger you see before you. Truth be told, I was and still am, the runt.”
“Ah don' believe it.” Applebloom said.
“Me either.” said the other two.
“Well, after I ate the first few bullies...” They blanched. "I'm kidding. No, I really am a bit of a runt. Not so much any more, but I'm smaller than my sister and my parents.”
“You have a sister?”
“And three brothers. One older, one younger, one much younger.” he smiled. "My sister is...” he paused, translating. “Called Morning Dew.” He decided explaining that her full name was Bloody as the Grass of the Morning has Dew, was not conducive to sleep in young ponies.
“That's a pretty name.”
“A pretty name for a pretty Tiger.” he smiled. “Anyway, as I grew up, I was found not to be as big and strong as the other Tigers, and so I did not participate as well in their games as they thought I should. Some of them teased and bullied me for it.”
“What happened?” Applebloom asked.
“Eventually, I came to a stunning realization. It didn't matter in the slightest what they said. They were just trying to get a rise out of me. I found that after I ignored them for a while, they eventually left me alone.”
“Really?”
“No. Bullies don't work that way. At least the ones that harassed me didn't. They ambushed me on my way home one day. I finally snapped. I turned on them and went berserk. It didn't matter that they were bigger and stronger. I just attacked and attacked until they gave up. I couldn't win. But I refused to stay down. Eventually they decided I wasn't any fun and left me alone.” he paused. "I did win a couple of them as friends that day. They saw exactly where they were headed and decided to try and make peace. A couple of them just stopped bothering me. The leader... he didn't change. And he ended up exiled.”
“Umm.. I don't think that'll help us.” Scootaloo said.
“Yeah, there's three of us, and two of them. Sweetie said.
“Then we'd be the bullies.” Applebloom answered.
“Well I wasn't suggesting you follow my plan exactly. I sort of got carried away. Look the point is, if you ignore them, they can't hurt you with words. And if they go past words, then you can get them in trouble.”
“That's mean.”
“Better than being picked on.”
“Ah guess.”
“Think on that. I have an argument to go settle with my Esteemed Teacher.” The words had audible capitals. He turned and set off down the path. The crusaders looked at one another, then climbed into the wagon and aboard the scooter and motored away back into town.
---
Twilight finished her notes and the last of the chapter, when Spike returned. “Hello Twilight.”
“Hello Spike. Have a good day at Rarity's place?”
“Yeah, she spent the day working on her new fall line.”
“Cool.”
“Then she took me out for ice cream.”
“That was nice.”
“And then the entire town levitated twenty feet in the air.”
“Delight... what?” Twilight's eyes scanned the window. Stranger things had happened. "Spike?”
“Sorry you weren't paying attention. Something wrong?”
“No. Yes. I know earth ponies have magic. I just know it.” Twilight pulled out a sheet of paper. It was covered in magical formulae. Spike skimmed it.
“You've showed me this before.”
“I know, it's one of Star-swirl's equations. It proves that everyone has magic. I combined it with the research on the purely magical aspects of friendship and it's providing surprising results. But that's not what I'm looking at it for. It proves that everyone has magic. Unicorns, Pegasi, Earth Ponies, even griffons. I was hoping to use it to prove things to Applejack but she wasn't home. I'm not sure where she's gone either. Big Mac wasn't talking, as usual.” she took a breath.
“So what's wrong?
“I'm an Alicorn. That means I should have magic from all three types of ponies. I can fly.” Spike bit off a laugh. "I can fly, not land.” Spike laughed again. "I can do magic. I know there's something I should get from Earth Ponies, but they won't tell me what!”
“I take it it's infuriating?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, it is.”
“If earth ponies won't tell you, then ask one of the other Princesses.” Spike suggested.
“You're right. We still haven't heard back from Princess Celestia, have we?” Spike shook his head. “And I'm not sure if I want to ask Princess Luna.” she shrugged. "I guess I'll ask Cadence then.”
“Okay, I'll get some paper.”
“I'll think about what I want to say.” Spike returned shortly.
“Dear Cadence. It's been some time since I saw you last, I hope you and Shining are well. I'm looking forward to our visit later this year. I have a surprise planned.
I am writing to ask you a question. I have discovered the magic of Pegasus flight, and I have come to understand it. However, no one has been able to tell me about the magic which Earth Ponies use. I was wondering if you have any insight.
Love, Twilight.”
“.... Love, Twilight. Got it.” Spike sent the letter.
“Thanks Spike. she considered it a moment. "I wonder why we haven't heard back from Princess Celestia. It's not like her not to reply.”
“She might be busy, or she might not be sure how to reply.” Spike suggested. "Or she might not want to answer.”
“I guess, but it's not her way.” Twilight sighed. "You don't suppose she didn't get it? I mean, true your Dragonfire has always been reliable before, but maybe she was somewhere that blocked it?”
“I don't think so. Remember when that message came back, while she was in her Thaumatorium?” Spike asked.
Twilight did. She'd sent a letter to Celestia about something and it came back. She'd freaked out and gone all the way to Canterlot, only to find out that the room in question, where Celestia practiced her magic was warded against magic itself, both to prevent magic coming in, including mail, as well as to prevent magic from leaking out.
“I guess she did get it, since it didn't come back.” Twilight sighed. "She must have a reason then.”
“Right, so, how did your other research go?”
“Hmm? Oh, right. Truth is, I got kind of caught up in the Alicorn research and didn't do anything more with the Pegasus research. I don't even know if this will help Scootaloo.”
“Yeah, but Twilight, weren't you the one who told me no knowledge is bad knowledge?” Spike asked.
“I did. But there is useless knowledge.” Spike picked up an umbrella. "What's that for?”
“The universe takes comments like that as a challenge. I'm just getting a step ahead of it this time.” Twilight rolled her eyes.
“Anyway, I don't know if it will help. Robert thought the symbology was important. Like you could fly if it were tattooed on you somewhere.” Twilight tugged a book out of the shelves. "Personally I think that's not the right way. I think, it can be substituted into the flight formula outlined by...” she flipped through the book. “Diaxia the Magnificent.” she showed Spike the book.
“In place of?”
“Her gravitational constant. Since the rune in question made the chalkboard fly, it must have changed how gravity affected it.” Twilight said. "How else would you explain it?”
“So asks the Winged Unicorn.” Spike said, grinning.
“Good point.” Twilight said and smiled back. "Of course, it might be magic affecting the gravity. Did you think of that Mister Smarty-dragon?”
“No, you did. Miss Smarty-horse.” Spike laughed.
“Of course.” Twilight turned, and began writing on the board. Diaxia's Flight Formula appeared on the board, minus two constants. "Magic or gravity?”
“Magic.” Spike said. Twilight plugged in the gravity constant from the formula, and then the rune from the new theorem. "Looks like...”
---
It looked, like the explosion was visible from Canterlot. Those who looked, were treated to the sight of the rare, free flying tree. Celestia paused in lowering the sun and stared. She'd seen a lot of things in her life, but this one was new to her. She shook her head, and turned to the sun. The sun descended slowly in a spectacular fashion. A few moments later, she landed on Luna's Balcony and nudged her sister out of her fascinated reverie. The moon rose over the horizon.
“Twilight Sparkle?” Luna asked.
“Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia answered. The question her student had posed was weighing on her mind. She had never been one to keep secrets from her student, at least not without good reason. On the other hand, this was not the sort of secret she wanted to keep. But at the same time, she wasn't sure what the reveal would do to the newest Princess. Luna had been less than enthused to learn it as she was brought up to speed on the thousand years she'd missed.
“She can handle it.” Luna said.
“I know she can. It's just, what I did. She won't look at me the same way.” Celestia shook head.
“Of course she will not sister. She will never look at you the same way again. Because she is no longer the unicorn you trained, but the princess you raised. I have learned much of Twilight Sparkle. Her successes and failures. She will forgive your trespasses, as you have forgiven hers. Give her the benefit of the doubt. I believe she will surprise you.” She opened her mouth to say more, but was interrupted by another sound. The tree had landed again, and was being held down by the Pegasus of the town.
“I suspect I should wait for tomorrow. I think she will have more than enough on her plate this evening.”
“Agreed sister.”
Chapter 7
“Strange does not rhyme with Orange, student of mine.” Zecora said, stirring the cauldron.
“I said it was similar, not rhyming. Porridge is a better rhyme anyway.” Robert grunted, feeding fuel into the fire beneath.
“Perhaps, but it does not mean you have to say that Orange is what my Porridge tastes like.”
“I speak only the truth.” Robert said, clearly lying through his fangs. Zecora rolled her eyes.
“What a tangled web we weave, when practice to deceive.” she said.
“I'm not practicing, teacher dear. I'm doing it now and here.” he laughed, eyes twinkling in the firelight.
“How you do that I don't know. But keep it up, and your nose will grow.” she smiled. "Now come and fetch the ingredients.”
“Yes Teacher. Dragon Scales you said?”
“Indeed, just the green, not the red.” he dropped several in and the color changed. "That was unexpected. These scales might be infected. she examined the jar. And that explains a lot. A case of scale rot.”
“Great. I suppose this requires I go fetch a new batch?”
“Unfortunately, there is no batch to be had. Zecora said. "The scales before you are all that I have left until the next dragon migration.”
“And the potion?”
“I suppose we'll have to try something else.”
“No, I mean the potion!”
The explosion wasn't quite the equal of the one that had lifted the tree into the air, but it was still particularly impressive. And it smelt like a week old skunk in the sunlight.
“My home it needs some airing. So for now I'll go to the spa for some soft and tender caring. You have the rest of this day off as well.” she paused. "I hope Aloe and Lotus can rid me of this smell.” the slightly charred, decidedly off smelling Zebra walked off down the path.
“Ugh.” Robert said, and turned towards the stream. He paused and considered it, then headed further into the woods. Deep in the woods, he found what he was looking for. Zecora had mentioned it, and he knew it was around. The spell circle was set into the ground, and covered over now. From the condition, he doubted she'd had cause to use it. The smell in the air was enough to convince him it was worth digging it out, and he set to work. Big powerful paws weren't particularly suited to digging, but he wasn't in a rush. When he was done with his job, it was clean as if he had taken a brush. He stalked the edge of the circle, marking a few symbols. He poured power into those runes, then stood in the middle. For a moment nothing happened. Then light flashed and he stood in the middle, sniffing. The smell was gone. So he noted, with chagrin, was a small portion of fur, but thankfully no skin.
“Oh Sovereigns, now I'm doing it.” he shook his head, checked the circle and released the excess magic. Then he turned and headed towards Ponyville. He passed Zecora, who still smelled from the explosion.
“How did you?” she asked. "Of course, he would have taught you.” she shook her head.
“You do then remember my teachers propensity for accumulating strange smells.”
“It was indeed memorable.”
“My mother refused to let him into the house when he became quite ripe. And yet he'd return in a few minutes smelling like a daisy. He finally let me in on the secret.”
“Your mother was not the first, to hold him at the door, because his smell put everyone on the floor.” Zecora smiled. Robert wondered, exactly what she was remembering, then put it firmly out of his mind. He did not want to know. "Go on ahead, if I hurry, I might get in the spa, they'd probably not let me in while I smell like, fah.” She had paused and taken a whiff. She waved him off as she coughed. He nodded his head and picked up his pace. He didn't have anywhere to be, but he definitely wanted some space.
Ponyville is no Canterlot, but even in a sleepy little town it's possible to find something to do on a weekday afternoon. Even so, Robert was decidedly surprised to find himself caught up in a musical number. Incongruously, Pinkie was not leading it, but was the one being sung to. He vaguely recollected the two ponies leading the number as being the owners of the bakery where she worked. For the life of him he could not recollect what they were called, nor the name of their place. The song ended, and the ponies returned to what they were doing, as if nothing had happened. Robert took their lead, and approached the brightly smiling Pinkie Pie.
“Hello Robert.” She said, slightly lopsidedly. He wasn't sure how one said words lopsidedly, but he was willing to bet Pinkie could. "Whatcha doin'?”
“Looking for something to do. I have the day off while Zecora's house recovers from something it ate.” Pinkie raised an eyebrow, higher than should have been possible.
“Bad dragon scales.”
“Ah.” Pinkie said. She didn't seem quite right. He wasn't sure why, but there it was. "I had some Baked Bads once. They were awful. Spike liked them. Of course he eat's gems, so there's that. Do you think Zecora's house would like something”? she paused. "What would a house eat anyway?”
“I don't know, maybe doorstops?” Pinkie looked at him, then giggled. And all at once, she was Pinkie again.
“I have a recipe for Chocolate Doorstops.” she grinned. "I don't even know why.”
“Seems like a good thing to have. With fudge filling?” Robert asked. Pinkie laughed.
“Well, of course.” she tapped him on the shoulder. "What else would you put in them?
“Cream. Or custard. Or maybe cherry.” he thought it over. "Not cherry. Strawberry perhaps.”
“Eww, chocolate covered cherries.”
“Tell me about it.” Robert looked her in the eye. "What was that about?”
“What was what about?”
“That bout of sad you had.”
“Oh.” She looked around. "Well, I'm always up. So when I get down, I get WAY DOWN.” she flattened down. “And sometimes it takes a little bit to spring back.”
“Ah. Does it happen often?
“No.” she shrugged. "Nopony seems to know why it happens. None of the doctors seemed to have an answer. I just get myself going and I'm fine again.”
“Bet they offered something for you, didn't they?”
“Yeah.” Pinkie looked off into the distance. "I tried it. You know?” she sighed. "It worked, I evened out, mellowed out, a lot. I was... normal.” Her hair straightened a little. "But there were side effects. I couldn't concentrate sometimes, and other times I couldn't stop concentrating. You know, you get obsessed by one little thing and you can't let it go?”
“Yes.” Robert nodded.
“I couldn't keep taking them. There were other things that were worse.” she smiled. "Eventually they did find something, but I can't take it all the time, you know? It's just when the bad ones hit me. It's too good though. I let the Cakes keep it for me though. That way I don't get tempted.”
“Smart move.” Robert reached out, and put his paw on her withers. "Gotta say Pinkie, your friends are lucky to have you.”
“Aww, thanks.” Pinkie smiled brighter. "Guess I'd better get cooking some doorstops then, so Zecora's house feels better.”
“Make me some too. Haven't tasted a good doorstop in a long time.” Pinkie stared at him for a moment, not entirely sure whether he was serious “All the ones around here are too rubbery.” he waved a chewed on door stop in front of her. She laughed.
“Yeah, no flavor.” she leaned close and pecked his cheek. "Thanks for listening.”
“Anytime.” she bounced away into the bakery. Robert shook his head, and realized that he still had nothing to do. He stood up and started through town. He was halfway down the road, when two thoughts hit him. And a bolt of cloth. The first thought was that he didn't actually have much money left from his trip. Second was that he wasn't exactly sure where being able to bite through a jugular vein would come in handy and thus be a useful skill for getting a job. Free room and board from Zecora was alright, but if she was going to continue to cook, he needed some money of his own. The bolt of cloth was totally unexpected.
“No, no, no!” Robert dropped to the ground as a ponikin missed his head by inches. "It's all wrong!” Robert retrieved the ponikin and the cloth, and carefully approached the door. From an oblique angle, because things continued to fly out the door. He arrived at the door, and peered in. Rarity was inside, and he realized he'd never actually known where she lived.
“Something wrong?” he asked, shielding himself with the ponikin.
“Oh, hello Robert. No, nothing wrong at all. Just the nuances of the Creative process.”
“I admit never having quite understood the mindset of the artist, but this appears to be more of a Destructive process.” he smiled, setting the ponikin in the corner. He waved the bolt. Rarity pointed to a pile, and he laid it on top.
“Oh, it can seem such to the untrained eye. However, I am an artiste and this is creative.”
“I see. And what exactly are you attempting to create?”
“Fashion.” Rarity said, coming immediately to the crux of the problem.
“Oh. I see. Such a decidedly broad term.”
“Indeed. I have done so much that I simply have no idea what to do next. These are old designs.” numerous papers and dresses, some of them half finished, some of them never worn, floated before him. “All of them old now. Of course some will come back into fashion, and others will never again see the light of DAY.” she paused, and waited. Nothing happened. One moment. she stalked out the door. There was a loud noise, and she returned. “Never again see the light of DAY!” Lighting struck in the background, thunder rumbling for a moment. “Much better.”
“Hmm... and now you need something fresh and new?”
“Indeed. I am developing a new fabric and I need something amazing for it to become.” Robert studied the sketches and dresses for a moment.
“Why not combine some of these?” he asked, after a moment. "I am no fashion designer, but I have played with spell-making, and it's often easier to take pieces of other spells and forge them together, than it is to completely create a new spell.” Rarity stared at him for a moment.
“That is... genius.” she flipped several drawings around. "Yes, I can combine these, and these.” several designs, and a few dresses exploded. Robert found himself blinking from under a pile of left over pieces of cloth. "Viola!” Rarity said, showing off her newest design.
“Magnificent.” Robert said, muffled slightly by the pile. “Tassels?”
“A little Saddle Arabian flair goes a long way I find.” Rarity said with a shrug. “Perhaps not gold though.” The golden braids fell away and she replaced them with silver. “Perfection.”
“Indeed.” Robert stood up, shrugging off most of the fabric. Several pieces remained stuck to his head. Rarity swept them away. “Thank you.”
“So, I must admit, that never did get to find out much about you. Pinkie's Parties are fabulous for having fun, but for actually talking to ponies, they are a bit loud.” she smiled.
“Yes, I did happen to notice that. Of course, some like those. I do like a quieter gathering now and then.” Rarity smiled.
“As do I. So, tell me about yourself.” she said, levitating a steaming teapot from the kitchen and settling herself down on her couch. "Do you have a special some...” she paused. "One?”
“I do indeed. Her name is... Steel Rose. Not a precise translation, but close enough. She is beautiful. Sleek of fur, and as tenacious as the day is long. She even battled my mother near to a stand still over my price.”
“Your price?” Rarity asked, vaguely appalled.
“Indeed. Much as she approved of my betrothal, I am the son of a Chieftain and I cannot wed one not willing to pay for me. Fortunately, they were able to save the eye.” Rarity stared. “An accident, which happily lowered my price.”
“That seems barbaric.” Rarity said.
“Mother is a traditionalist. She knew the risks when she entered the ring. Besides, I nearly lost an ear when I fought her father for her price. I wear the victory scar with honor.” he reached up and brushed aside the fur on his shoulder, showing a long mark where a claw had slid across his shoulder.
“H-how does one win such a fight?” Rarity asked, disgusted, and at the same time, fascinated.
“They are timed, from sunrise to sunset, though most often they go to whomever remains standing, since battling a full day is rare. The victor is chosen, in cases of long battles, by whomever has the fewest wounds. A strong warrior can inflict more wounds on an opponent than they take and pay a lower price for the honor of marriage. Father and Daughter choose a price, and then the Father and Husband prospective fight to see whether the price will rise or fall. I am proud to say I fought him down to half his starting price. The daughter receives half, as her father's wedding gift, while he is expected to use his half to pay for the wedding.” Robert smiled. "Upon hearing of my victory however, my father paid the full purse they had demanded to begin with. The equivalent of forty thousand bits if my exchange rates are correct.” Rarity fainted. Opal rolled her eyes, stood and fetched a bottle of smelling salts, kept on Rarity's desk for just these types of emergency.
“Feeling better?” Robert queried after Rarity had been successfully revived.
“Yes, I am. I, to give away such money. I am told I represent Generosity, but even so, I find it hard to fathom giving away such a sum.” she shook her head. “And you, what price did you ask of your bride to be?”
“Mother and I fought for weeks over that accursed number.” Robert shuddered. "She kept insisting I stand firm at one hundred thousand bits. I wanted her to set it at sixty thousand. Eventually my father convinced her to settle on eighty, and convinced me to let her do it.” he thought it over. "I prefer to suspect that he knew my Rose could defeat my mother, but that might not be the precise truth.”
“I don't know, I haven't met your father, but he must have had faith in your bride.”
“Indeed. And it was well placed. My mother made the proposal and Rose laughed in her face. Mother was FURIOUS. She didn't waste time arguing. She challenged Rose right then and there. The arena was barely setup before they fought. Just for reference, my father is known as one of the greatest warriors in our tribe, but my mother is one of the few to fight him, and win. Not a draw, or standstill as Rose was trying. But an honest win. Most tigers would and did put money on my mother to win. In truth she wasn't trying to win. It's not very polite to bankrupt your daughter-in-law.”
“I should say not.”
“Credit where it's due, Rose did spend most of the fight egging her on. Mother gets a little sloppy when she's angry. If she'd been thinking clearly, the blow would never have landed. It would have been quite the blow anyway, but mother moved wrong and Rose got her dew claw into the flesh just here.” He indicated the outer side of his eye. "Fortunately it missed the nerves and other vulnerable things there. The fight was stopped and my mentor halted the damage until a doctor got there. Given our history with ponies, you'd be surprised to learn how many Unicorn Doctors we have.”
“Yes, your history.” Rarity sounded as though she'd just found something nasty crawling in bathtub.
“Some Tigers try very hard to pretend it didn't happen you know.” Robert said. He sipped his tea. "I find that pretending something didn't happen is a form of lying. And I cannot stand liars.”
“Applejack feels the same way.” Rarity said. She considered her statement, taking into account Applejack's feelings on Tigers, and decided no revision was necessary. "I suspect once she overcomes her irrational dislike, you'll find her a close match.”
“Applejack might be many things, but I don't believe she's irrational.” Robert shook his head. "She has her own reasons, and I'm fairly certain I know what they are.” he took a deep breath. "Magic of friendship or no, I doubt seriously that I'll ever be that close to Applejack.”
“You can't know unless you make the effort.” Rarity said, putting a hoof on his shoulder.
“I know. I'll make the effort. I have never been known for my willingness to give up, but I won't give it very high odds of success until I see it work.” Robert shrugged. "Perhaps that's a bit pessimistic, but I've never found optimism to be entirely healthy.”
“Mmm...” Rarity sipped her tea. “A suggestion?”
“I eagerly await thine words milady.” Rarity nearly swooned before catching herself.
“Charmer.” she smiled. He smiled back. "Perhaps it's not about gaining Applejack's friendship. Perhaps it's about gaining her trust. She is a pony who always makes friends easily. Not so easily as Pinkie Pie, but I doubt anyone does. However, Applejack is slow to trust. She takes to her element more readily than the rest of us, and being Honest is important. She doesn't trust easily, perhaps because she's honest about her feelings, and it makes ponies want to lie, or smooth things over.”
“I can understand that.”
“Yes, and so Applejack doesn't trust easily, because so many would lie to preserve her trust in them.” Rarity levitated the tea pot up to refill her cup, and then Robert's. "If you earn her trust, I have little doubt that she will overcome her prejudice.”
“As I said, I'm not one to give up easily, so I will take your advice to heart.” Robert sipped his tea. "This is really very good.”
“Thank you, my own special blend.” She looked around, then grinned at him. "Really, I just put two different flavors of teabag into the pot and let it sit for a while. It absolutely horrifies poor Twilight, so I never mention it.”
“Our little secret then.” Robert winked. Rarity winked back. "Now, I have a question for you, that might sound a little strange.”
“Go ahead.”
“I am, in need of a job. I like Zecora, and she is a fantastic teacher. However, her cooking leaves something to be desired, and honestly, I'm really not sure I can take much more of it. Nothing full time, just something so I have a little spending money.”
“Hmm... I see”. her lips moved slightly as she thought it over. "Well, I can think of two things. The post office usually has a notice board for jobs. Usually just things around town that need doing, but on occasion they have special deliveries that require a tougher breed than the usual mail ponies. As for the other...”
“What?”
“Well, Pinkie did say she wanted to hire a clown for a birthday party, but the only one in town is still in the hospital from the last party.” Robert leaned forwards.
“Dangerous deliveries you say?”
---
Twilight was in her lab, working on a schedule for her new schedule, the sort of layered insanity most ponies had come to expect from Twilight, when Spike came down the stairs, holding a scroll. He saw what she was doing, and had anyone asked, he'd have been able to explain that she was now less insane than she once was. Having time on her schedule to actually schedule meant that she no longer had time to schedule time to schedule time to schedule things. Just thinking that sentence had made the little dragon go cross-eyed. He shook it off.
“Twilight?” She didn't respond right away. "Twilight, letter from Princess Celestia.”
The mention of her mentors name got through the fog of concentration to her. “Really?” Spike tossed the letter up and she caught it in a magenta glow.
'Twilight my friend and faithful student.
I would speak to you, your friend Applejack and this Tiger friend of yours regarding the issue you sent me a letter about. I will have a chariot waiting to bring the three of you to the castle just after moonrise. Spike may accompany you if you wish.
Sincerely, Princess Celestia.'
Twilight looked at Spike. “That's kind of a weird letter. I mean, even the one summoning me to save the Crystal Empire had a little more meat to it.”
“Sounds like she's nervous.” Spike suggested.
“Yeah. Which worries me. I'd better go find Applejack. Can you find Robert?”
“Sure. Do you want the letter?” he asked, indicating the still glowing scroll.
“No, why?”
“I want to show it to Robert. See if he finds anything weird about it.” Twilight raised an eyebrow. "It's just... you know how Celestia gets when she thinks anything is threatening her kingdom or it's citizens. And if they did have this war...”
“You're right. I trust Celestia, but we both know her temper runs deep and she's not one to easily give up a grudge.” Twilight sighed. "I hope the moon is nice this time of year.”
“I don't think Luna would let you get banished to the moon.” Spike said. “At least, not unless you both ended up there.”
“Not helping.”
“Sorry.”
They split up to find their respective targets. Spike found Robert first, as the Tiger was coming out of Rarity's place. Spike took a breath.
“Spike! What a pleasant surprise.” Rarity said with a smile. "I was just thinking about you.” she disappeared into the shop. There were several sharp thuds and the characteristic TWANG of scissors being stuck into the floorboards. Spike had helped often enough to recognize it instantly. Finally, “AH HA!” she returned a moment later carrying a small basket full of gems, no two of them alike and all of them slightly misshapen. "Here you are Spike. I found these while gem hunting. None of them fit into my patterns, so they're all yours.”
“Thanks Rarity.” Spike smiled and took the basket. “Anything else you need?”
“Not right now. Although, I was just about to show Robert the notice board in the post office, if you'd like to come along.”
“Actually, I came to see if you'd seen Robert.” Rarity leaned close to Spike.
“I have. He's rather hard to miss, wouldn't you say.” she winked at him. Spike laughed.
“Ha ha.” Robert said. “Can we walk and talk?”
“Sure. If it's okay Rarity.”
“Absolutely.” she started towards the post office.
“What can I do for you Spike?” Robert asked, keeping one eye on his path, and the other on the dragon.
“Twilight got a letter back from Princess Celestia. She's wants you, Twilight, Applejack and I to come to the castle just after Moonrise. She didn't say why though.” There was a worried note in his voice, which Rarity picked up on.
“Surely you're not worried she's going to do something are you?”
“A little. I've been Twilight's number one assistant for most of my life. Which means I learned as much about Celestia as I did about Twilight.” he took a breath. "She's not the most forgiving of ponies if she thinks you've done something wrong, and her temper is...”
“Legendary.” Rarity nodded.
“And not subtle at all, if the stories I have heard are correct.” Robert said.
“She once told Twilight that: 'Some leaders are willing to afford subtlety. I will not pay the cost for subtlety.' Never was quite sure what she meant.”
“I think I know.” Robert said. "My father said something similar to my brothers and I. 'A leader must not be afraid to pay a personal price to protect those they lead.' I think Celestia means the same. She must seem more harsh to her enemies to protect the citizens. If you wait too long trying to be subtle, you might lose more than you save.” Robert looked distant for a moment. “A lesson learned the hard way I presume.”
“That would be a safe guess.” Rarity said. She flashed back to the wedding in Canterlot. She'd always wondered if Celestia had lost because she couldn't risk more power. She'd never mentioned it though. Mostly because the whole event still gave her nightmares on occasion.
“Anyway, since moonrise is still a little while away, why don't we move on to that notice board.” Robert said.
“Oh, yes, of course.”
---
Applejack took a breath. She let it out, then inhaled. She braced her front legs against the ground, then in one smoothe motion, snapped her hind legs straight, striking the tree and dropping the ripe apples. Some of them weren't quite ripe but she was content to let them hang. She moved on to the next tree. Most ponies couldn't tell, but every tree had a particular place it preferred to be bucked from. She knew her trees and the ones Big Mac did. She could buck any of them, but each of them had a bucking mark near the base. Nothing official, but one spot where the front hooves landed. It wasn't all strength, and it wasn't all skill. They each played a part, but so did knowledge. It was easy to just hit a tree as hard as you could. And that worked, but you'd get half-ripe apples along with the fully ripe ones. Hit it wrong and you'd get no effect, or worse you'd hurt yourself. But knowing how to hit the tree and how hard to hit it was just a side-effect of knowing how to stand to hit the tree at all. Once you had that down, it was no problem.
Another breath, another smoothe...
“Applejack!” Twilight's voice called out. Applejack shifted her stance and missed the tree. Better to miss completely than hurt herself.
“Hiya Twilight. What can ah do ya for?” Applejack adjusted her hat so she could see her friend. Twilight flew in and flared her wings. She flapped for a moment, then settled to the ground. “Ah see the landing is doing better.”
“Yeah, I'm getting the hang of it.” Twilight said. "How's the applebucking going?”
“Doin' alright. That what you come all the way out here fer?” Applejack asked.
“No. Celestia sent me a letter. She wants you, me, Robert and Spike to meet her in Canterlot just after Moonrise. She's sending a chariot.” At the mention of Robert, Applejack's eyes narrowed slightly.
“Any idea what about?” She asked.
“I sent her a letter, and asked her about the Tiger War. I didn't hear back until a little bit ago.”
“Why does she want me?” Applejack asked. “Ah'm not into the politics and ah'm sure no historian.”
“I'm sure Celestia has her reasons. If you don't want to go, I'll tell her that. I'm sure she'll understand.” Twilight offered. Applejack mulled it over for a long moment.
“No. Ah'll come. She asked for me to come, she must have some reason. And Ah'm not gonna disappoint Princess Celestia.”
“Thank you Applejack.” Twilight hugged her.
“It's nothing. Now go on, let me finish the buckin' I can, and I'll meet you in the usual place.” AJ hugged Twilight back for a moment, and then watched her fly away. Then she shook her head, and started to breathe again. She bucked the tree, and got hit with an apple. "Figures.”
Chapter 8
The small group was waiting as the chariot arrived from Canterlot. It was pulled by two ponies. One Pegasus, wearing the clean golden armor of the Solar Guard. The other was the curious variety of bat -winged pony known as Negasi that populated the Lunar Guard, dressed in black, spiky armor. It was a curious choice. They were normally not used in tandem like this, and Twilight found herself wondering why. Admittedly, she suspected Rarity would explain that they clashed. Twilight could see that, but Rarity would go overboard.
“Princess.” The Solar Guard Pegasus greeted her. "Whenever you're ready.”
“Thank you.” she nodded to him and the four of them climbed into the back. Spike and Twilight found themselves in the middle of the chariot, separating Applejack and Robert. The two hadn't spoken at all since they arrived. Applejack had gotten there first, and was wearing not her normal brown hat, but instead the higher quality one Rarity had made for her Gala dress. It was, Twilight suspected, as close to formal wear as Applejack was likely to get. They'd made small talk, until Robert arrived and Applejack suddenly found the ground very interesting.
Robert was... dressed. Twilight hadn't seen him wear anything but his travel bags since he arrived. When he walked up to the station, he was well, shower fresh. And draped across his shoulders was what looked like a pair of saddlebags without the bags. White thread traced a complex pattern on the sides. Twilight didn't recognize it at first, then when she looked away, she realized it wasn't a pattern but a symbol. Five-five pointed stars centered in a single seven pointed one. In the middle of the pattern a crest was stamped. A close look showed it was a tiger paw holding a wand.
Upon questioning, he explained. The crest belonged to his mentor, the pattern was the symbol of his tribe.
“When one meets a foreign dignitary, one is best served to be as formal as possible.”
“She's not technically foreign in her own home.” Twilight pointed out.
“Indeed, but to me, she is the leader of a foreign land, and thus she is treated as such. As I am sure she will treat me.” He left it at that. Twilight still shared Spike's worries, but decided not to make an issue. She trusted Celestia, but if this was as bad as it was made out to be, she didn't want to get in the way if her teacher held a grudge.
The flight wasn't long, but it was quiet. The two ponies pulling the chariot said nothing, focused on the lights of the city as they approached. They didn't land at the local air station, nor as Twilight had expected, in the South Court, where Celestia held her spring court. No one wanted to be stuck inside any longer than necessary, and the South Court was always the warmest. Instead, they flew over it and landed in what was universally referred to as the Princess Garden, though it's official title was the Garden of Daisies and Lillies. For all intents and purposes, it belonged exclusively to the Princesses. Very few were ever allowed into it without a Royal escort, except of course the gardeners. The princesses didn't have time to care for that many flowers themselves. Twilight knew from personal experience. Before coming to Ponyville, she had been assigned to oversee the gardeners, after asking how flowers grew. Of course, since she was technically learning, the position had been somewhat honorary, mostly as Royal Permission to tell them what a good job they were doing and keep it up. She was proud that despite that, she'd not only learned a lot but also been able to make a few useful changes. The Chariot landed on the main path, and then lifted away as soon as they disembarked. Celestia stepped out of the castle as they turned towards it.
“Hello Twilight.” Celestia spread her wings and inclined her head.
“Hello Princess. Twilight sensed that formality was the order of the day. She bowed just slightly lower than Celestia had. "May I introduce Robert, son of White-tail and Moonstalker.”
Robert bowed his head. “Your Highness.”
“A pleasure.” Celestia wasn't precisely cold, but she wasn't warm either. Twilight was worried now, even more than before. "Hello Applejack.” Applejack bowed down, nearly to the ground.
“Princess.”
“Please, follow me.” Celestia tucked her wings away, and walked past them. Spike was momentarily bothered by her lack of attention. "Spike, please stay close to Twilight. This might be hard for her.” He heard it, but was certain none of the others had. He nodded, and set his pace beside Twilight. This left Robert and Applejack to walk beside one another. Neither of them said anything or even acknowledged the presence of the other, until they reached the wall that Celestia stopped before.
“Robert?” Applejack's voice was low enough not to be heard by Spike or Twilight. She saw Celestia's ear twitch, and knew somehow that she had heard.
“Yes?”
“Ah'd like to talk to you later, after we're done here.”
“As I would you.” Both resumed their silence, only to gasp quietly a moment later when the wall into the mountain opened. Celestia strode through, and the others followed after Twilight started moving. Inside a bright glow grew from Celestia's horn. It was the only illumination. After a moment, Twilight lit her horn as well, after a subtle nod from Celestia. They walked down the corridor, in an impossibly straight line. Except, it wasn't. Applejack realized that the corridor was not straight, but was in fact slightly, subtly curved to the left. It was also sloping ever so slightly downwards. She wasn't sure what had clued her in, but she was absolutely sure of it. She considered saying something, but decided against it. This place was almost reverent.
Finally, they reached an intersection. Twilight looked forwards, then to her teacher. Celestia turned to the left, and stepped across a seal on the floor. A dull light shone across it. It looked like a massive construction of Luna's Cutie Mark. As Applejack crossed, she realized it was. It was also humming with an energy she vaguely recognized but could not put a name to. Celestia led them down the length of the corridor. Applejack watched as her light's size diminished slowly until it was almost gone. Celestia spread her wings, signaling a stop. Luna appeared, stepping out of the shadows.
Twilight inclined her head again, Spike and Applejack bowed. Robert bowed as deeply as any pony did to Celestia. “Hail and greetings to the Princess of the Night. As the first Tiger to see you since your return, I am bound by honor to deliver a message.”
“Which is?”
“The Watch still stands.”
“After all this time. And everything that... happened? Why?” Celestia didn't seem confused, though everyone else was.
“Lumus er Nox, Semper Fidelus.” Robert answered.
“Light or dark, always faithful.” Spike whispered quietly. Luna looked on the verge of tears. After a moment she drew herself up and looked around.
“Really sister, could you not have at least allowed the servants to clean our vault? Now we are getting dust in our eyes.” Twilight looked close, and was willing to bet her big telescope wouldn't find much dirt on the floors in this place.
“My apologies sister, I shall see to it as soon as possible.” Celestia said, remaining carefully neutral. Her eyes were sparkling though.
“Very well. Let me see if I remember how this works.” Luna paused, her eyes moving as if she was reading from a card. "WHO WISHES TO ENTER THE VAULT OF THE MOON?”
“I, Princess Celestia, Regent of the Sun and Bringer of the Dawn.” her wing twitched slightly, urging Twilight to speak.
“I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, former bearer of the Element of Friendship.”
“I, Spike the Dragon.”
“I, Applejack, former bearer of the Element of Honesty.”
“I Robert, son of White-tail and Moonstalker.”
“WHAT DO YOU SEEK WITHIN THE VAULT?” Luna's voice was loud, but not the ear shattering volume of the Royal Canterlot Voice.
“We seek Black Tail's Treaty.”
“IT IS HOUSED WITHIN THIS VAULT. KNOW THIS. WHAT LIES WITHIN THIS VAULT IS NOT TO BE SPOKEN OF BEYOND IT'S WALLS, NOR TO ANY NOT PRESENT HERE. THE WRATH OF THE MOON SHALL DESCEND UPON ANY WHO BREAKS THIS COVENANT.” Luna looked amongst those gathered before her. Everyone nodded assent.
“Very well. Welcome then to the Vault of the Moon.” Applejack saw her touch down, and realized she'd been in flight for the entire conversation.
“Thank you sister.” Celestia said, as the doors behind Luna opened.
“Hang on, Luna's the only one who can open the vault right?” Applejack asked.
“Indeed. Even while I controlled the moon, I could not enter this vault.”
“Then how did the treaty get in here?” Twilight asked.
“Even as Nightmare Moon, the compulsion to open this vault was powerful enough to force compliance and temporarily release me from my banishment.” Luna answered. "It was... not pleasant for either of us, but it did give access to the vault.”
“Indeed. I knew how hard it was, and how dangerous, and tried very hard not to need to open this Vault.” Celestia said. "For this however, the risk was necessary.”
They walked into the vault and the light on Celestia's horn went out. A moment later, Luna's horn sparked with a silvery moon light on the end of her horn. Celestia duplicated it. Twilight crossed her eyes in concentration, and tried. Nothing happened. Luna leaned down and touched her horn to Twilight's. Twilight sparked her horn up into the same silver light.
“Let us see.” Luna said and examined the nearest shelf. “Ah, this way.” She led them down the aisles, until she came to a specific shelf. A rolled scroll floated down, and landed on a nearby reading station. Luna released it and nodded to Celestia. The princess of the Sun took the scroll up in her magic and unrolled it. She cleared her throat and read it.
'This treaty signifies the intent of the Free Tiger Tribes to make sacrifice of not less than two hundred and fifty of it's citizens in exchange for the release of it's armies from encirclement by the United Equestrian forces. These shall join with reparations to be made by the Free Tiger Tribes to the Kingdom of Equestria.'
The treaty was signed by Celestia on one side, and by Black Tail on the other. Twilight looked at her mentor. Celestia could not meet her eyes.
“Sister?”
“I did not make the choice. I fought long and hard to reduce the number. Black Tail was not easily budged.” Celestia said. She finally met Twilight's gaze. Twilight saw an indescribable pain in her mentors eyes. She stood up and put her forelegs around her mentor. Applejack was silent, then she turned to Robert.
“Did you know?”
“Yes.” he said, quietly. "Not the details, but every Tiger is taught about Black Tail's price.” he sat on his haunches. "It is the price for foolishness. And the price for disobedience. Black Tail ordered tigers to stop attacking ponies. When they did not, he assembled his warriors and went out to stop them.”
“And in our foolishness, we thought he meant to attack us.” Celestia said. "My generals argued that he was coming to take our citizens and I listened. By the time the truth was revealed, we had lost more than a thousand ponies, guards and civilians. I intervened before the generals attacked and caused more death.”
“When Celestia arrived, Black Tail went out to meet her on the field. He expected to die. His final words to his army as he walked out were: 'Do not avenge me, sue for peace and leave this field.' He walked out, and met Celestia between the armies.” Robert said.
“Black Tail was a massive tiger, my equal in size, if not in power. He was a noble tiger. He walked up to me, and offered me a clean shot to finish him off. I turned him down and sought his side of the story. It was then that our mistake came to light. When he learned of our casualties, he fell to the ground, and wept. When it was over, he offered an equal number of his own tigers for our losses. And he would not hear of not making the sacrifice. I spent more than five hours talking him down. I could not get him to give less than two hundred and fifty. The majority of those were the Rogues he originally came to hunt down. The rest were from among his warriors. It took a dozen of them to stop him from becoming one of them.”
“Black Tail was the last tiger king.” Robert said, pushing himself up as high as he could. "Since him, no tiger has successfully made claim to the Shattered Throne. Many have tried, but none have succeeded. he sighed. After his defeat however, he went on to bring us diplomatic relations with Equestria, and he brought us Unicorns to teach us transmutation, so we could make our own food and not need to feed off of other species. No tiger has done more for us. This is part of the reason the throne has not been claimed.”
“And the other?”
“The throne is... to make a claim to the throne, one must have the unanimous support of all forty tribal chiefs. To hold the throne, one must survive an assault on the throne by the strongest warrior from each tribe. If they succeed, then they are crowned king. Those who fail are laid in the Claimants grounds surrounding the Tombs of the Kings. Most aspirants fail to reach the second stage.” Robert shrugged. "It's difficult enough to get forty Tigers to agree on a meal course, much less on who should be king.”
“I suppose there are advantages to immortality.” Luna said suddenly. Several present started, almost having forgotten that she was there.
“Indeed. You are fortunate that you have good leaders. An immortal leader who is not good would be... very bad indeed.”
“Indeed.” agreed Luna. “Come, let us leave this vault. Mine though it is, remaining here depresses me.”
“I concur.” Celestia said. She had not, even while keeping up her side of the story, broken eye contact with Twilight. Finally she looked away. It took Spike pulling at Twilight's mane before she turned and followed the others out. Celestia sighed, and shook her head. Luna stepped up beside her. Celestia sighed. "I think her faith in my abilities has been shaken.”
“She knows you're not perfect. But it is always hard to accept that the person you look up to is not infallible. You know that as well as I do.” Luna said, watching the others walk away.
“I know. At least she doesn't have to find out the way we did.”
“True.” Luna reached out with her wing, and laid it over her sister's shoulders, and urged her out of the vault.
---
Applejack and Robert were sitting in a booth at Donut Joe's. Applejack was munching on a cherry filled bear claw. Robert was eating a fish croissant. Applejack had teased Donut Joe about it, and he pointed out Applejacks didn't contain any apples. She was silent.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” Robert asked.
“Ah haven't told anyone this. Not sure anyone outside my family knows.” Applejack prodded her donut. "I haven't even told Twilight.”
“Told me what?” Twilight asked. Applejack started.
“Oh, sorry Sugarcube, didn't see you there. You okay?
“No.” Twilight said. "I'm not sure how I am, but I am definitely not okay.”
“I'm sorry.”
“It's... not something you can do anything about. I'm not sure if there's anything that should be done. It's in the past, and... I've learned you can't change the past. The hard way.” Twilight slid into the booth "What haven't you told me yet?”
“The reason I can't, don't like Tigers.” Applejack took a deep breath. "My parents are. They're dead. I know you know that Twilight, and Robert, I bet you guessed.”
“I had a suspicion.” he said simply.
“Well, not long after Applebloom was born, we got a letter from some distant cousins, out near the badlands. They'd found a spot that seemed just perfect for growin' apples, but they couldn't seem to get the trees to take off. Well, my ma and pa were happy to help, and they packed for the trip and told us they'd be back in a few weeks. That was the last I ever saw of them. Next thing I know, Granny Smith is at the door, cryin' 'er eyes out, listenin' to two Royal Guards.” she paused for a moment, and took a long drink of her soda. "Big Mac had me take her to the other room while he talked to the Guards. I got the whole story out of him later. Seems they'd met up with a supply train heading to the settlement where the cousins were set up and at some point they got ambushed. The guards found nothing but prints around.”
“Tiger prints.” Robert said. It wasn't a question, but a statement of fact. Applejack nodded.
“Not official tigers. Bandits, who'd taken to preying on caravans. In fact, since they were so close the guard actually sought the help of the local tiger tribe. They found them. And...” she looked away.
“I'm sorry.” Twilight said.
“Yeah. Ah know.” Applejack took a deep, shuddering breath. "Not a single one of the Bandits made it. The local tigers and the guards made sure not a single one of them got away. They... couldn't bring back the remains, because they weren't sure who was who.” she looked sick for a moment. "They buried them right there, and burned the bandits. “Ah... helped them sort through the things. All ah found was Dad's hat. Mom had left her lucky pendant at home. She said she didn't want nothing to happen to it.” Robert put his paw on her shoulder.
“I am truly sorry. There are monsters in every species.” Robert said. "Just as there are heroes.” Twilight snorted.
“Sometimes they're one and the same.” she said. Applejack glared at her.
“Twilight, that's unfair. Celestia was doing the best she could with the situation she was given.” Applejack put her hoof on Twilight's. "You should go talk to her. Ah suspect there's some things she's not telling you. Things for princess ears only.”
Twilight looked up at her in surprise. “Do you really? Of course you do. You wouldn't have said it if you didn't.” she started to stand up, then her eyes went wide. “Princess Luna.”
“Please, Twilight, I have told you to call me Luna.” the princess had a slightly pained look.
“I prefer to only do that in private.” Twilight said. "Still getting used to this Princess thing.”
“As you will. Robert, might I speak with you?”
“Certainly your highness.” Luna sighed.
“Please, call me Luna. After what happened, I feel very bad about claiming that title.”
“Ah suppose ah'll go then.” Applejack started to stand but Luna raised a hoof.
“Please, stay. I would not wish to chase you away. And what I have to say is not private.”
“Thank you, Princess.” Applejack settled back down.
“If you'll excuse me, Luna.” Twilight managed to stop herself. "I'm going to go have a word with Princess Celestia.”
“Please Twilight, try not to judge her too harshly. She spent much of my exile under a considerable amount of stress.” there was an almost pleading element even to Luna's official voice.
“I will remember that. Spike, do you want to come with me? Or stay here?”
“I'll come with you if you don't mind.” Spike said, sliding out of his seat.
“We'll fill y'all in later.” Applejack promised. Spike nodded, and followed Twilight out. Luna slid into Twilight's recently vacated seat.
“Tell me Robert, what do you know about the Watch?” Luna asked, nodding to Donut Joe as he brought her usual order.
“Let's see. The Dream Watch, founded a little over twelve hundred years ago, is an organization dedicated to the protection of dreams. Even then, not every dream could be watched over by one being, Princess or not. Amongst the ponies whom she called family, there were but a small handful of Dreamwalkers. So she sought out the other species. Amongst those, only the Monkey's and Tigers had the ability necessary to form the Dream Watch. A contest was held, and the monkey's failed to meet the requirements. Those tigers who had the power to walk the dream became the first of the Dream Watchers. The princess guided them on their first steps and left them to watch dreams. Even after the fall of the Princess to the Nightmare, the Watch stood, guarding the dreams of all species, save the monkey's who had their own dream walkers to take up the task.” Robert said, eyes closed, as if reading from a book he'd seen long ago.
“Very close. In truth the reason for the monkey's not becoming the members of the watch was not a failure, but simply because tigers have always been more comfortable in the night and the shadows. I chose them and the monkey's accepted the choice then. How they have fared since, I do not know.”
“I do not from personal experience either. I have no talent in walking the dream. I only enjoy the protections of my training.” Robert said. "However, the other Shamans with which I have learned from and trained under have told me that the Monkey's are not mere guardians the way we are, but warriors against the nightmares.”
“No few of them ones I caused I would surmise.” Luna sighed. “A thousand years, and still the consequences of my actions ripple.”
“We all deal with the consequences Princess, it's a matter of living. We make mistakes and we make amends.” Applejack said. "To err Equine, to forgive divine.” she quoted.
“Ah. Somehow, I knew those words would come back to bite me at some point.” Luna chuckled. Applejack wilted. "Worry not, the fault is mine for committing actions that fit such words.”
“Fah. The past is the past, and should be put behind us.” Robert said. "So long as we learn it's lessons.”
“That, I can say I have done.” Luna said. "Still, I believe I must atone to the Tigers for what I did to them.”
“For me, that you wish to make amends is enough. For the rest, that is a matter to take up with the Conclave.”
“The Conclave?” Luna asked.
“The leaders of the Tiger tribes. With no king, each rules his own tribe, but once a year they meet before the Shattered Throne and hold council with one another.”
“Tell me of this Shattered Throne. When last I knew them, the tigers paid homage to the Amethyst throne.” Robert coughed.
“'Tis one and the same.” he sighed. "During the upheaval, some thought the king should declare us for the Nightmare. Others thought we should fight for your sister to bring you down. And still more thought we should join with you that you might be restored still.” Robert's eyes grew distant. "Eventually we did nothing, and in the end, the matter was decided without us. However, the divisions between us ran deep. The battle ended when the king was killed. However, in the moment of his death, the throne broke, shattering into forty pieces. One for each of the tribes.”
“Yet something else my actions caused.”
“Get over it.” Robert growled the words. Luna recoiled. "Wallowing in sorrow does no one any good.” he softened his voice. “As I said, the past is the past. It has been and done, but nothing about the future is written. What happened to the throne is our doing.” Luna opened her mouth to speak. “That our loyalty was at the root does not give you cause to take responsibility for our actions.”
“That seems very... magnanimous of you.” Luna said.
“Enough mistakes were made for credit to be spread amongst all involved. There is no need for any one party to take too large a share of the blame.” he said simply. "Besides, sorrow at the actions of the past, will quickly be overwhelmed by joy at your return.”
“That did not happen here.” Luna said, remembering the events she'd been through since her return.
“Your complaints stemmed from the nature of ponies. Much has changed since those complaints were necessary. Then, the constraints of the time forced ponies to remain indoors at night. And now? Now there is light and life all the night.” Robert waved his paw at the street lights, and the couples strolling in the darkness. "They appreciate the night now like they never did before.”
“Tigers never feared the night.” Luna pointed out.
“Tigers have long been predators. We hunted in the night, and there were but few things which hunted us. Many of those that did found cause to regret it.” Robert shrugged. "In time, the ponies learned the same things. Even now, the guard actively hunts those things that would seek to hunt down ponies. The Long Patrol is known farther than you might suspect.”
“The Long Patrol? Applejack asked.
“The Long Patrol,” Luna replied. "is an organization of the Pegasi. They are warriors by tradition, and birth, and when the tribes first came together, they formed the patrol to go forth and hunt down beasts that would threaten those whom they had sworn to protect. Many was the time we would find them coming to our castle in the Everfree when it was not so controlled as it is now.” Applejack blinked. It was controlled now? Her mind reeled to think how it might have been. "They knew we were in residence and would come for healing and supplies. They are a hard breed, made harder by the job they do. When a patrol leaves, it is almost a funerary procession. Though only some returning is now less likely than before, it is a tradition and Pegasi are sticklers for such things. This makes it all the more joyous when a patrol returns alive and intact.”
“What's more the Long Patrol, when sighted, engenders a feeling of fear in wrong doers.” Robert said. "Those who know it's reputation know that only the fiercest of fighters join it. And only the fiercest of those survive. Many times, I have seen bandits, tiger, pony and griffon come from the forests, begging to surrender to us, rather than face the Long Patrol. Twice, I have seen a group who tried to fight them. For bandits, they acquitted themselves well, but the Long Patrol is just that, and they take no prisoners, nor do they give quarter.” Robert looked off into the distance. "I dreamed, as I grew, that someday I might join the patrol. They take non-pegasi now, seeing the value in having ground forces, as well as some to remain and watch the camps.”
“Why didn't you?” Applejack asked. "If that's what you really wanted?”
“It still is something I want. However, while I could still do it, it would mean putting my training on hold and I wish to become a Shaman more than I do join the Patrol.” he smiled. "Besides, being a Shaman does not preclude me from joining them, even if only for a time.”
“A noble ambition. When you complete your training, send me word. I happen to know well the commander of the Long Patrol.” Luna winked.
“I shall remember it.” Robert smiled, then he turned to Applejack. "I am sorry. We have come off of the track you started. You wished to talk to me, and I have not shut up since we arrived.”
“It's alright.” Applejack shrugged. "Listenin' is interestin' enough. Ah do want to talk though.”
“I am all ears.” Robert said.
“Not yet.” Dark blue magic cascaded across him, covering him from nose to tail with ears of all shape and size. "Now you are.” Luna laughed.
“Ha. Ha.” Robert said. He shook and the ears vanished. "Go on Applejack.”
“What ah wanted to say,” she talked over Luna's continued laughing. "was that ah'm sorry for the way ah've been actin'.” she paused and glared at the still guffawing Princess of the Night. "Princess? Are you alright?”
“Hmmm...” Luna seemed to realize she'd been laughing just a little too hard. "Oh, yes, quite alright. If you'll excuse me, I must... go polish the moon. Yes.” she stood, and strode out of the diner. The pair watched her go.
“Royalty is weird.” Applejack said, then looked around. "Umm...”
“She must be forgiven. Spending a thousand years on the moon, with no pony to talk to but the evil spirit that possessed you is probably not good for any pony's mental health.” Robert shrugged. "Besides, weirdness is part of the job description. I suspect it's on the application. Perhaps alongside: Must have own crown.” Applejack chuckled.
“Ah guess Twilight was born into it then.” she shook her head.
“Mmmm... Well, weirdness aside, I accept your apology. What's more, I understand your reasons. My uncle was killed by griffon brigands. I was too small to aid in the counter attack. I still find it hard to talk even to those griffon's I call friend, though my mind knows they had nothing to do with it, my heart still blames them.”
“Thank you. Ah guess my own heart is a little tougher to ignore than ah realized.”
“The head is strong, but the heart is often stronger. Coltaire, I believe.”
“Twi could probably give you the date he said it.” Applejack laughed.
---
Twilight walked to the palace, not really interested in flying, even if she hadn't had Spike along with her. The sooner she arrived, the sooner she'd have to ask her mentor about the events. Then she'd get answers. For some reason, this time she knew she would get answers. The question was whether she would like them. That she was not sure about. Navigating the palace was not quite as simple as it looked. Twilight had spent a lot of time there, and she knew that several of the passages looked identical. Except for the Royal Guard, the servants, and the permanent residents, Twilight and Spike were among the few who knew the intricate coding in the decorative facades to navigate around the palace. Indeed, it was a bit of a clever trick, since it made even seasoned palace workers appear to be in awe of the palace, when in fact they were simply looking at the writing on the wall.
Of course, there was a second trick, one used in emergencies, which was to simply follow the guards. Guards existed at every intersection, and were arranged in pairs by rank. One lower rank and one higher. The least secure areas would be guarded by a private and a corporal. The most secure would see Captains and Lieutenants. But more, their position would tell someone who knew the system, which way to go to find someone up the chain of command. From a Private/Corporal pair, one would always take the turn towards the lower ranked officer. Following that pattern would lead quickly to whatever princess happened to be awake and in charge at the time. Avoiding it, in case of compulsion or the feeling of being followed, such as by an invisible attacker or stalker, would lead the pony into a large group of guards. As the princesses moved around, so would the guards. The armor was all connected, both to one another, so they would know where and how to move, and to the captain of the guard and his armor, so he knew where each of his guards stood. It was, on the whole, possibly more complex than was necessary. Twilight had found several minor improvements, that she had suggested to her brother. He had taken some and discarded others. Such as alternating the ranking direction system, as being too confusing. Incorporating the ranks into the uniforms in such a manner as to be indistinguishable from the ornamentation, as with the palace facades, was implemented immediately. They still wore normal rank insignia, but if something was happening suspiciously, they could switch the obvious insignia and still confuse those who did not know about the armor.
Eventually, though sooner than she would have liked, Twilight found herself before the doors leading to Celestia's sleeping chambers. The guards held her for a moment. The Captain poked his head into the room, and said something, then retracted it, and motioned Twilight inside.
“Thank you Captain.” Twilight said as she walked inside. He closed the door quietly behind her. "Princess Celestia?” Twilight called into the shadows. Spike had elected to remain outside the room, stating that it was better if she talked to Celestia alone. She didn't see her mentor.
“On the balcony Twilight.” Celestia answered her call.
“Princess, can we. Can we talk?”
“Certainly. And Twilight?”
“Yes?”
“Please don't call me Princess. For tonight, Celestia will do.”
“Thank you P-- Celestia.” Twilight swallowed her objections. Arguing over something so trivial was not the way to start this conversation. “Can I ask you a few questions about... the war?”
“You may. I am surprised your friends did not wish to join us.”
“They thought you might want to tell me things... 'meant only for the ears of princesses.” Twilight decided the phrase was good enough for the purpose.
“They would be right.” Celestia looked to the stars. “Ask your questions then Twilight, and I will answer them.” Twilight knew exactly where to start.
“How could you not know about what the Tigers were doing?” Celestia didn't look before answering.
“I did know. And there was nothing I could do.” Celestia turned to Twilight. "Before the breakout of open hostilities with the Tigers, we were already engaged in the second griffon war. I do not believe that the Tigers knew then about the war with the griffons, else things would have come to a head sooner. Some times I wish it had. As it was, I ended up spending far more resources bringing the griffons to the treaty table than I wanted. When that was over, it seemed that the tigers had stopped. I never quite found out what happened to stop it. It did co-incide with Black Tail taking the throne however. I suspect they were in a succession war.”
Twilight wasn't particularly happy with the answer, but she was willing to accept it. “You said you couldn't stop the sacrifice, why?”
“As I said, Black Tail was perhaps the single most stubborn being I have ever met. Multiply the stubbornness of your friends Applejack and Rainbow Dash. And then double it. And then you approach Black Tail.” Twilight did that in her head, and shuddered. “Yes. Tigers are honor bound, even more so than the old Pegasi clans. Knowing what his own species had done, was as painful to him, as losing any of my ponies is to me.” Celestia looked up. “You see the constellation Tigris up there?”
“Yes.”
“I added a star for Black Tail when he died. It seemed only fitting.” she looked back at Twilight. "There is a fact that you will not find in any of your history books. The leader of the rebel tigers who attacked the ponies, was Blood mane, Black Tail's brother.” she looked distant for a moment. “I participated in the battle. I hate to do it, because to do so causes me pain. The closer I am to my ponies, the greater the pain I feel. I felt pain then, and I had to intervene. I have not faced an opponent of such power until I matched myself against Chrysalis.” Twilight stared. "If not for Black Tail and his timely intervention, I do not believe I would have won.”
“Really? I 'm surprised.” Twilight said. "I mean. One tiger?”
“Indeed. Black Tail was also surprised.” Celestia shook her head. "I'm not sure why either. He was naturally reluctant to talk about it later.”
“That I understand.” Twilight said. "I bet it felt a little close to home.”
“It did. Definitely.”
“Did you kill him?”
“Blood mane?” Celestia said, then shook her head. "No. Black Tail would not allow it. He was the first of the sacrifices however.”
“You keep saying sacrifices, but what do you mean?” Twilight asked, concern evident.
“They were brought before the shaman who had come with Black Tail. Words were spoken, and then they were... the spirit was ripped from them somehow. For the rogues, it was painful. Fifty of them, one at a time, screaming in pain.” Celestia flattened her ears at the memory. She shook her head to let it loose. "The volunteers seemed to have it gentler, They lined up and all at once simply laid down and died. I do not know how it was done. And in all honesty, I do not care to find out.” Celestia shuddered. "Black mane, he felt, each and every one of their deaths. Just as I had felt the ponies, so he felt the tigers. When it was done, we retired to a tent they had set up between the armies.” she took a breath. "There, we comforted one another and took the opportunity to discuss a treaty.”
“Did you succeed?”
“That day? No. Though he was king, he could not universally decree a treaty. He had to take what we worked out back to the tribal leaders. It took us another ten years to hammer out the details. We did manage to successfully get a mutual defense pact against bandits, raiders and other minor beasts that first year. It turned out to be the only thing the leaders could agree on without meeting in Conclave.”
“Conclave?” Twilight asked.
“A yearly meeting of all the tribes before the Throne. Since all the tribes come together, it has the atmosphere of the yearly trade exchange.” Celestia shrugged. "The tribes trade goods and news while the leaders meet, and it ends with a feast.” she smiled.
“Sounds like a holiday almost.” Twilight said. "I'm surprised we don't have anything like that.”
“To be honest, I proposed something like it, but, well when the nobles got through with it.... it was completely unrecognizable. I finally put my hoof down and discarded the idea. Now we might be able to push it through.” she thought it over. "Perhaps it's for the best not to.”
“I doubt an end run around the nobles would win any friends.” Twilight considered it a moment. "Of course, now that Luna is back, we could make it a celebration of the night. Something to bring every pony out at night to appreciate the stars, and give them a reason to enjoy the night.”
“A curiously entertaining thought Twilight.” Celestia shook her head. "Now, back to the matter at hoof. Is there anything else you want to ask me?”
“Just one thing. Why is it stored in Luna's Vault?”
“Ah. The truth of the matter is that it's something which I am not at all proud of. So much loss of life because I could see no other way to appease Black Tail and his sense of honor. So I buried the evidence. Luna's Vault is intended for things which should, or must never again see the light of day. Pardon my pun.”
“Certainly.”
“Originally, the purpose of the vault was the containment of a certain class of magical artifice which derives power from my sun. By entombing them in the light filtered by it's reflection on the moon, they are both kept from accumulating enough power to be dangerous, but still given strength to remain potent.”
“Why?” Twilight was curious. "If they are that dangerous, why keep them at all?”
“The reasons are twofold. First, even the most dangerous could have use. One of these has the power to reshape destiny. Not merely displace it as Star-swirl's spell, but completely and utterly reshape the ultimate designs of the universe. And yet it is neither the most powerful, nor the most dangerous artifact. Think of the weakest unicorn you know, and compare them to the power of an Alicorn. It is as a guttering candle flame compared to the sun. There are artifacts contained within that vault that are the Sun to the Candle of the Elements of Harmony.”
Twilight stared at her for several long minutes, trying hard to comprehend such power. She failed. Celestia laid a hoof on her shoulders.
“Thus the reason for the vault.” Celestia said.
“You said twofold? The other?”
“Magic is Energy. This you know from your studies. What is the one thing you cannot do with energy?”
“Destroy it.” Twilight shuddered.
“Indeed. To destroy these artifacts would not only send out the energy contained within them, scattering to the winds, but it would also release the containing power. Imagine a power like Star-swirl's spell, dispersed to all the ponies in Equestria. Indeed, even Luna and I.”
As was only fitting, such a suggestion broke Twilight. Fortunately, Celestia was long experienced in calming the occasional fits of entirely justifiable, but overwrought bouts of mind-numbing terror Twilight exhibited from time to time. It took some skill and patience, but they were two things which Celestia had cultivated even before meeting her pupil, which had then been honed to a fine edge in dealing with said pupil. After perhaps ten minutes, Twilight had been reduced from full on panic mode, down to a simple, albeit continuous repetition of the word 'I'. A few minutes more had her at simple status quo neurosis.
“Which, in the end is why they are entombed, and not destroyed.”
“Yes, yes, I can see that now.” Twilight said, still twitching slightly. "Well, I suppose that's it then. I guess I should get back to my studies then. Seeing as I have reason to not sleep for oh, ever.”
“Worry not Twilight, I have kept these items safe all this time, I can continue to do so.” Twilight stared at her for a moment.
“Princess? I am A LIBRARIAN. I know how this story goes. You say that, then some new villain shows up with intimate knowledge of the place, steals some powerful doodad and wreaks havoc. Then the heroes, get a random power boost and destroy the enemy and it ends up being some super weapon that they use in every single book afterward.”
“I assure you that will not happen.”
“Okay.”
Chapter 9
They arrived in Ponyville the following morning. As the chariot flew away, Applejack bid the others good bye.
“So?” Twilight asked, poking Robert in the ribs with a wing.
“So what?” he asked.
“Did you and Applejack work things out?”
“She's no longer interested in bucking my apples off, if that's what you're referring to.”
“So you're friends?”
“We're... acquaintances. Friendship will come later.” Robert shrugged. "I find it best not to push such things. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a teacher to be yelled at by.” he bowed his head, then trotted down the road towards the Everfree. Twilight shook her head and watched him go.
“Twilight?” Spike asked, looking over his shoulder.
“Yes Spike?”
“What were you screaming about in your sleep?”
“Hmm... oh, just a nightmare.” Twilight put her wing over his shoulders. Come on, let's go see what mess got made while we were gone. Of course, it turned out to involve Rainbow Dash and Daring Do. Because of course it would.
---
While the heroes are away, the background ponies will continue to operate therein. So it was that Lyra Heartstrings, found herself roped, by some mechanism she did not fully understand, into assisting with a project she never should have agreed to work on.
“Come again?” she asked, incredulously.
“It's a simple musical composition, surely it can't be that hard.” the dark blue griffon shrugged.
“For the Flute. I don't even know how to play the Flute.” her eye was twitching.
“Yeah. Well...” the griffon paused. "The lyre isn't exactly pony instrument is it?”
“Big ones are. It took me years to learn my small one.”
“I'm not asking for a perfect piece of epic music, just something different from what the griffon composers make.” he was almost pleading. "Besides, I was directed to you as the only pony who might be able to help.”
“By who?” Lyra asked. She'd made a few enemies, and was willing to bet one of them would love to see her fail.
“A mare named... Octavia. The concert cellist? She said she'd heard you had a talent for exotic instruments, and said you'd be the best chance I had.” Lyra blushed bright enough to make Pinkie look dull.
“She... she really said that?” the griffon nodded. "I'll do it. I can't promise it'll happen quickly, but I will do it.” The griffon shook her hoof profusely.
“Thank you, thank you. I know you'll do fine. Here.” he pulled a battered, beaten flute case from his satchel. "This is the flute I started learning on. I have another now, but I suspect you'll have a hard time finding one around here, so use this one. Thank you again.” he shook her hoof again, then took wing.
Lyra stared at the case in her hoof. Then she picked it up with her magic and stepped inside. The house she shared with her filly friend was spacious, and today, all hers. Bon-bon was at her market stall, selling her candies, and so Lyra had the run of the house. She thought back to how bad she'd been when she first started playing the lyre and had a sneaking suspicion that her amazing, wonderful lover might not want to be around as she attempted to learn the flute. She opened the case, and gasped. The flute inside was a finely made steel flute, carved intricately with floral patterns. It was disassembled into two pieces, but it didn't take her more than a moment to reassemble it. Hands formed, glowing with her magic and lifted it up. She brought it to her lips, covered all the holes with fingers, and blew into the mouth piece. Nothing but a raspberry sound. She uncovered one of the holes, and tried again. The same, just in a different pitch. Lyra sighed. She'd hoped it would be intuitive enough to work it out. She was wrong. There was only one place to go. The Library.
It didn't take Lyra long to get there, greeting friends as she went. The Library was on the other side of the market, but she skirted around it, so she didn't distract her filly friend. Much as she enjoyed seeing her, Bon-bon didn't appreciate being distracted amidst her bargaining. So Lyra stayed out of sight and reached the library. To her dismay, which she expressed with a groan, she found a sign on the door, indicating the library was closed and that Twilight and Spike would be back soon. While the library had been somewhat disheveled and disorganized before Twilight moved in, it had always been open. Now it was only open when she was home, though in her defense that was most of the time unless she had some emergency, which was usually severe enough that no one wanted to check out books during them. Well, it had happened once, but that was a fluke.
Turning away in disappointment, Lyra walked smack into Twilight. Lyra fell down, Twilight didn't. Twilight had many admirable qualities, but her inability to fall down was not one of them, at least not from Lyra's point of view. Coming back to her hooves, she dusted herself off.
“Hello Lyra, something I can do for you today?” Twilight asked, a bit too cheerfully.
“Yes, actually, I was wondering if you have a book.”
“This is a library.” Twilight pointed out.
“Yes, I know. I'm looking for a specific book.”
“On?”
“Paper.”
“Really?”
“Oh come on, how often do I get the chance to say that?” Lyra grinned. "I wanted a book on how to play the flute.”
“The flute?” Twilight blinked. "I'm not sure a pony can play the flute. I mean, maybe, a unicorn can. I don't know if we have a book like that. We can look and see.” she unlocked the door and led Lyra inside. Spike disappeared into the kitchen, while Twilight looked around. "Let's see.” she pulled down the entire music shelf. "Drums. Cello. Guitar. Violin. Xylophone. Really? I mean, none of these are really hoof friendly instruments. Except the drums anyway.”
“Yeah, but have you ever been to a concert consisting entirely of drums?” Lyra asked. Twilight shook her head. "I have. They don't call it rock and roll for no reason.”
“Oh. Let's see, if it's not here, it might be in storage. Spike?”
“Got it!” Spike appeared, carrying a large, dusty binder. "Flutes, flutes, and more flutes: the guide for beginner Flautists.” he pointed it out. "It's in storage. Want me to get it?”
“No thanks Spike. We know what happens when you get too dusty.” Twilight said. Spike coughed. "Don't worry, we'll get it. Lyra?”
“Lead the way.” Twilight lead Lyra down into the bowels of the library. It was, in it's own punny way, a root cellar, since the stairs lead downwards and after a distance were actually composed of the roots of the oak in which the library was housed. The area below the tree, and a large portion of ponyville was actually fairly close to perfect for the storage of books. It was cool and dark. Unfortunately, it was also damp, which was not good for the books. Twilight had found that the previous librarians had taken steps to prevent such things from being a problem, by hanging rune carved salt blocks at junctions of storage rows. The runes made the blocks moderately magical, causing them to act as focus points for ambient moisture, drawing it to them, where it was absorbed by the salt, and then sweated away. It meant that while the cellar was dark and dry, it also meant that it was dark and dry. Magical light meant it was possible to walk around without bumping into things, but there was nothing to do for the dryness, except not stay too long. Worst, it meant that it was always dusty, with no moisture to settle it out of the air. Twilight glared at the half-inch of dust on the floor for a moment. “Can you do a light spell?
“No. I never learned.” Lyra replied. Twilight wasn't too surprised. Many unicorns didn't go much beyond their talent in spells, and Lyra's particular one wasn't too useful outside of her talent for music. At least, Twilight preferred to think of it that way. She'd been informed that it was good for other things, but she'd come to the letter worthy realization that there was such a thing as too much information. She had received a response from Princess Luna. It had been nothing more than a magic orb, containing a verbal message. They had been rather rare, but Luna had been the inventor and now they were more common. This one contained nothing more than the sound of Luna laughing maniacally. Celestia had added a message to it.
“My sister finds your message and wording hilarious.” Celestia sounded as if she were trying hard not to laugh.
“Oh. Do you know how to take over a spell?” Lyra nodded. It was a fairly basic trick, simply shifting one unicorns magic for another's. It made passing things Telekinetically much easier than dropping them from one field to another. Twilight passed the ball of light to Lyra. It dimmed somewhat, but held. "Just a moment.”
“Sure.” wind flared through the room, and down the stairs. The dust swept up from the floors and off the tops of the shelves, whipping down the aisles and sweeping them clean. The wind vanished into the cavernous depths of the storage room. Twilight exhaled after a minute. Then she took the spell back from Lyra. "Do you suppose you could teach me a light spell? I've noticed it's becoming more necessary around this town.”
“Sure. I'm surprised you haven't needed it before.”
“Normally I just pump more power into my hands and they glow bright enough for what I need. But it's kind of draining.”
“Oh, well... remind me and I'll show it to you.” Twilight said, leading the way down into the stacks. It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for, and she pulled it from the shelf. "Here you go, one copy of Flutes, flutes, and more flutes, the guide for beginner Flautists.” Lyra took it from her. "So, the flute?”
“I was asked to compose a piece on it. The griffon who asked was surprisingly insistent. Besides, I'm getting paid, which is always nice.” Lyra smiled. Twilight chuckled.
“Yeah.” Twilight lead the way up the stairs.
“Don't you get paid?”
“For what?”
“Running the library.”
“I don't think so. I used to get a Stipend for being Princess Celestia's Student, but now I'm not sure where it comes from. I should probably look into it.” Twilight said, thinking on it.
“Princess pay probably.” Lyra said, then rolled her eyes. "I always think I'm channeling Pinkie when I do that, but maybe it's her channeling us?”
“Could be. I still try not to think too much about that. It didn't end well the first time.” Twilight shuddered at the memory.
“Yeah, I remember that. Not fun times.” Lyra shook her head. "How did you get that to quit?”
“Stopped studying Pinkie. It's one of the few times I've stopped studying things.” Twilight shrugged. "It bothers me vaguely, so I don't think too much about it.”
“Gotcha. Didn't mean to dredge it up.”
“No problem. Let's see.” Twilight pulled out the log book. "Lyra Heartstrings, Flutes, what's the date?”
Lyra gave it to her. “Okay, standard disclaimer. Break it, buy the library a new copy.”
“Thanks for the help.”
“That's what I'm here for.” Twilight smiled. She saw Lyra out, and closed the door. Then she pulled out the binder on books in storage. "Hmm...”
“Why would you think I would yell? Because where you were going, me you did not tell?” Zecora wasn't yelling. Her voice wasn't even raised.
“I didn't mean to forget telling you. By the time I knew we were going, I couldn't find you to tell you.”
“Ummm...” Zecora coughed. "In that case, let us forget it that we may save face.”
“Indeed. So, what is the plan for today?”
“What do you know of love potions?”
“Not to make them. Things rarely end well.”
“You are wise beyond your years. This is why we make not love potions, but antidotes. There are always fools who use potions in ways they shouldn't, so antidotes are always handy to have.”
“I see. And how to do we make them?”
“Get the tongs.” Zecora's smile in the firelight was not a pretty sight.
---
Rainbow Dash was pushing clouds in the sky over Fluttershy's house. Cloudkicker, and Thunderlane were sweeping several in nearby. Fluttershy didn't often put in a request for specific weather, so when she did, Rainbow Dash made sure she got it. The clouds coalesced into shape over the house, and Rainbow signaled for the others to back off, then she rolled over and swung under the clouds. Fluttershy was down in the backyard.
“Hey, Fluttershy!” Rainbow landed nearby.
“Rainbow Dash, quiet!” Fluttershy managed to both shout and whisper at the same time.
“What's the matter?” Rainbow asked, looking around. Fluttershy pointed to a group of lizards.
“The poor dears need some dental work, and I don't want to do it in the sun.”
“I was about to ask why you needed the clouds. So they're in the right place?”
“Yes. Thank you.” Fluttershy looked up at the clouds. "Will those hold for the day?”
“They should. I can have somepony watch them. I have to check on the rain for Applejack or I'd do it.”
“Would you please?”
“No problem.” Rainbow flickered over the top of the clouds. Cloudkicker and Thunderlane were sitting some distance apart, pointedly ignoring one another. Rainbow Dash sighed, and shifted gears into boss mode. “Cloudkicker?”
“Yeah?”
“I need you to hang around here and make sure this cloud stays intact and doesn't break up until Fluttershy tells you she's done with it.”
“Sure thing boss.”
“Thunderlane, head up to the park and make sure they get a nice sunny day.”
“On it.” Thunderlane kicked off the cloud, fell for a moment, and flew north. Rainbow trotted 'cross the cloud.
“What's up with you two?”
“'Lane's got a nasty turn of phrase. I gave him a talking to about it. He's still sore.” she grinned. "In more than one way.”
“Ugh. Alright. Keep out of his way, and see if he apologizes. If not, I'll talk to him.”
“Gotcha boss.” Cloudkicker saluted. "Better go do those rainclouds.”
“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash exploded out from the edge of the cloud. Cloudkicker shook her head, and ducked under the clouds. It was easier to spot problems from below than above. She settled down on Fluttershy's roof.
Chapter 10
“Hey! You. Tiger.”
“You Tiger? Where? I told him to quit following me!” Robert spun around. Filthy Rich twitched.
“No, I mean you.” the brown earth pony said, taking a deep, calming breath.
“Oh, alright, what can I do for you?” Robert paused.
“Filthy Rich. I'm wondering why you scared my daughter.”
“You'll have to describe her. I'm reasonably scary, so I've scared a lot of daughters.”
“Pink, tiara on her head and one for a cutie mark.” Rich said.
“Oh, the bully.” Rich blinked. “Ah, I see you didn't know.”
“Do you have proof?”
“None, beyond my own witnessing, and the terror with which my friends regard their coming.” Robert shrugged. "Perhaps it was wrong to scare her, but I'm also told that she will no longer come near my friends.”
“It seems I was misinformed.” Rich said, gaze flattening.
“Surely you lied to your parents. Most children do. Look, I... if you want me to apologize to her, I will.” Robert shrugged.
“Perhaps. But not now. I'm going to find out if she deserves it. Then we'll see.” Rich turned away. "Thank you. Not everyone would be so blunt.”
“You're welcome.”
Rich trotted away. Robert resumed his course into town. Twilight was just exiting the library. “Morning Twilight.”
“Morning Robert. What's up? She looked as though she was packing.
“I came to return the book, and see what you know about shields.”
“Shields?” Twilight tapped her chin. "Quite a bit, but my brother is the real expert.”
“Your brother?”
“Yeah, you've not met him yet. I've got a picture, and we'll get the book checked in before I go.”
“Where you headed?” Robert asked.
“The Castle of the Two sisters in the Everfree.” Twilight answered, horn flaring and lifting down the library ledger and a picture from her room. She didn't even seem to notice them. "We're helping to clean it up and sort through the books.”
“Ah. I'd heard about a castle there, but I hadn't had time to go see it.” Robert said.
“You're welcome to come along with us.”
“Thanks, but perhaps another time.” he set the book on the table, and while Twilight wrote the return date and reshelved the book in it's proper place, he picked up the picture. She turned to look at him when he burst out laughing.
“Princess is your brother? That's hilarious.” Robert continued to laugh.
“What do you mean by that?” Twilight asked, a little angry.
“Oh, well.” Robert cleared his throat. "I sort of... got lost on the way to Ponyville. So I ended up wandering into the Crystal Empire. I was scaring the ponies it seems to the guards took me to see Princess...” he paused, trying to recall the name.
“Cadence.” Twilight supplied.
“Yes. Anyway, I was taken just outside the throne room, and told that I would be seen in a moment. The door was opened and I was ushered inside. It seemed however, that the Princess had to step out for a moment, and this white unicorn was on her throne. I presumed that that was the princess, given that it was the first experience I had with Equestrian nobility.”
“Uh-oh.”
“Yeah. I said something along the lines of: Princess, I'm sorry for disturbing your subjects, but I was wondering how I ended up here instead of Ponyville.” Robert coughed. "Things just sort of went downhill from there. I must say, your brother gets to be a little shrill when he's angry. Fortunately your sister-in-law returned from her errand before we did anything serious to one another. I must admit, I have seen few tempers so terrific as hers. She made us apologize for the comments we made. She gave me directions, and I took your brother out for the night to apologize in style. I wouldn't say we're friends, but after the shiner he gave me, we might as well be.”
“What?” Twilight started.
“Guy thing. Don't worry too much about it. I suspect he had some 'splainin' to do when he got home.” Robert chuckled.
“Do have a story for everything?”
“Mostly.”
“Look, I have to go meet the others. Maybe tomorrow we can see what you can do with shields, and I'll have nothing major on my plate.” Twilight said, eager to do something quiet and non-stressful.
“Certainly, I will see you in the morning.” Robert bowed, and left. Twilight locked the library and headed off to meet Spike and the others.
Robert meanwhile, headed to the post office. The notice board was already being examined by a purple-grey pegasus. Robert sat and waited his turn.
“Sorry, you waiting?” The pegasus asked.
“When you're done.” Robert waved.
“Oh, I work here.” she held out a hoof. "Derpy.
“Robert.” he shook her hoof. "So why you looking at the board?”
“I pick up short flights from time to time. I don't do the dangerous runs, but there's occasionally something that needs a flight but it's too far out to be a regular delivery, but not far enough to be delivered from somewhere else.”
“Ah. I'm looking for the high-paying dangerous ones.” Robert stared for a moment. "So tell me, do you know how to read these?”
Derpy laughed. “Yeah. Let's see..” she perused the board. He noticed her eyes, but didn't mention it for a moment. “What?” she asked.
“Hmm?”
“You're thinking about my eyes.” Derpy said. "I know that look.”
“I thought so. You can read two books at once, can't you.”
“Yes. How did you know?”
“I've encountered a few tigers with the same thing. It's not too common though. The loss of depth perception makes them less effective at chasing, but they're much better at ambushes.” Robert shrugged.
“I just wish I could control it.” Derpy sighed. Then she pointed with a hoof. "This one, this one and this one. They're all no more than a day away, but they're dangerous. This one goes through the fire swamp, I wouldn't suggest taking that one. The Apple family is going to be going up there, so it'll be easier to send it with them. She pointed at a second one. "This one is on the far side of the Everfree. It's not too dangerous, but it's always expensive because no one wants to go through the Everfree, and no one in their right mind flies over it.
“Rainbow Dash... never mind.” Robert trailed off. Derpy grinned.
“Yeah. I bet she'll take that if she comes in for her mail.” she pointed at the last one. "This one. Oh boy. I'm not touching this with a ten foot pole. You'll be taking dynamite to a mining camp south of town. Thunderhead mining. Never going back there again, not without a battallion of royal guards. And an Alicorn.”
“Rough town?”
“That's one heck of an understatement.” Derpy shook her head. "Not to mention carrying the dynamite. Plus there's the chance of bandits.”
“Bandit's eh?” Robert grinned. "Sounds like fun. I might stop for dinner on the way.” Derpy eyed him for a moment, then chuckled. "So, how do I do these?”
“Take the posting to the desk, you'll get a receipt. Take that around back, they'll load you up. Then you get the receipt signed by the person the package is for, and bring it back. Then you get the monies. All the monies!” Derpy grinned. “And when you have the monies, you get the muffins.” The last was in a conspiratorial whisper.
“Thanks. Tell you what, when I get back, the muffins are on me.”
“Then you'll want to take a second job. I like muffins.”
“It's a deal.” he held out his paw. Derpy shook it.
---
The delivery Pegasus checked the straps holding the containers over Robert's back. They were large enough to fit around the chest of a griffon, so they fit around him with a couple notches spare.
“Alright, remember, the important thing is DO NOT DROP THEM. Or all they'll find are fine tufts of tiger hair.” he was not smiling at all.
“I'll make sure to remember that. I was warned there might be bandits.” Robert said.
“Doubt they'll trouble you. Usually they hit the pay, but they've started sending those in a sky chariot instead. Most bandit's don't want to get blown up so they leave the dynamite alone. Besides, if the mine doesn't get it's dynamite, it shuts down and the wages stop coming so there's no reason to rob anyone.” the pegasus tugged the straps one last time. "There you go, as secure as can be. Got the receipt?”
“Yes.”
“Map?”
“Yes.”
“Then you're all set.” the pegasus nodded, and helped Robert up. "Good Luck.”
“Thanks, I'll take all I can get.” Robert set out, skirting the edge of town until he encountered the south road. It was somewhat rutted, and he idly suspected that the dynamite would normally come on a wagon. The problem there of course being the need not to drop it. Or bounce it. Or do anything that might give it reason to become angry. Robert was not an expert in dynamite, but he knew enough that it shared some properties with magic. Namely, being powerful, easy to use incorrectly, and with a volatile temperament that didn't take well to being mishandled. In both cases, the best thing to do was try very, very hard not to rock the boat. Or the box. Or the wizard hat.
The path, was not as long as he'd expected, except it branched. And his map did not indicate the correct direction. In truth, he thought, as he examined the map, this branch wasn't supposed to be here. The new branch had a sign, pointing down it, labeled in crudely done letters: ShoRtCut. Robert considered the situation, then smiled. He squinted at the sign, and the labeling changed. Now it read: Guards, go this way.
Smiling, he continued on the main path, whistling as he went. The sun was nearing it's apex, which meant it was just getting to lunch time when the bandit's attacked. Two pegasi plummeted out of the sky, blades glinting on the leading edges of their wings. They dove in sequence, one after the other, rolling to the side so their wings clipped the the straps on his packages, sending them tumbling. Orange light flared and the boxes lowered gently to the ground. Several ponies appeared out of the trees. Some with spears, some with hoof-axes. In the trees, two more pegasi. Then a single unicorn, wrapped from horn to hoof in mottled green armor appeared.
“Hello Tiger. I see they've found someone to trick into trying to deliver the wages. Step away from the boxes, and we'll let you live.”
“I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. It is impolite to kill without knowing the name of the deceased. I am Robert.”
“Very well, I am Robin Hoof.” Robert stared at him flatly.
“Really?”
“It is the name I now answer to.” the armored unicorn dismissed Robert's disbelief.
“Very well. Make your case, and I will decide if I will abandon my job.”
“Did you open the cases?”
“Yes. They are filled with dynamite. Except for the secret compartments. Those are filled with gold.”
“Oh. I guess they figured the dynamite would go off and deny us the gold. No matter. Step away, and we will let you go. We will see this gets where it deserves to go.” The unicorn said.
“You have shown me no proof of your cause.” Robert answered. Some of the bandits were moving to surround him. His escape routes would be cut off in a few moments.
“They treat they're workers as slaves and pay them barely enough to survive.” the unicorn snorted. "We give the gold directly to the workers.”
“Perhaps they'll pay more if you stop taking the bits with which they pay?” Robert countered. The last of the earth ponies closed the circle.” He was surrounded. A smile flickered across his lips and his tail lashed. "Stand aside and I will let you live.”
“Alas, I am sorry Robert. I am afraid I cannot do that.” he motioned with his horn. Two spear ponies lunged forwards, intent on driving Robert back from the boxes and into the reach of the hoof-axes behind him. Robert fell back half a step, then shifted sideways. One spear shifted to track him, while the other started to rise to give it's fellow a clear swing. Robert lunged and slapped the shaft of the rising spear down against the other. The shaft of the upper spear snapped as it clattered against the other, while driving the point of the lower spear into the ground. The clay of the road was hard and the spear point stuck. One of the hoof-axes charged, covered by a spear. Robert reached out and smacked the axe user in the face with his tail. The pony flinched just long enough to tangle his hooves and fall forward. The axe blade jammed into the box.
“Don't move or we'll all be blown to kingdom come.” Robert told the pony, and leapt over it to land before the spear user. The pony with the spear tried admirably to short shaft the spear, but Robert slammed his shoulder into it before it could draw it back. Another pony flicked it's spear and slashed Robert's flank. Robert growled in pain, but rounded not on the spear user, but on another axe-wielder, trying to take advantage of his distraction. Robert lunged close, his opponent drew back his foreleg to slash, only to be knocked to the ground by a deafening roar at point blank range. Dirt stung his hip, reminding Robert of the spear wielder behind him.
“Pegasi!” Robin's voice rang out. Two Pegasi, one from above, one from the trees lunged into the fight between Robert and the four remaining ponies. The pegasus from the trees dove with his lance, the tip aimed for Robert's side. Robert turned and threw himself at the diving Pegasus. It saw him, and tried to back pedal too quickly. The lance scraped along Robert's side, but his paws hit the Pegasus on the shoulders, paralyzing it's wing muscles. They fell a good ten feet. Robert caught them both with a blast of air. Then he turned to the four ponies. Two were trying to lift the box with out the axe in it. The other two had spears, pointed at him. He heard rather than saw the pegasus coming in. He charged the spears, then just before he reached them, turned sharply to his right and threw himself up on his back legs. The wingblade slashed along his foreleg, but his other paw came down and smashed the pegasus from the air. The spear wielders raised their spears just in time to avoid skewering their comrade. Which left them no time to lower them to meet the charge of the tiger. The pair of spear users smashed into the ponies still trying to lift the box.
“Enough.” Robin leapt from his perch. "I see I must deal with you myself.”
“Robin.” The Pegasus in the tree called to him. "Take care.”
“Worry not. He is tired and injured. This fight will not last...” Robert had grown weary of conversation with the unicorn, and hit him while he was arguing. Armor is fantastic against weapons it was designed against, piercing or slashing. Few armors were ever designed to be struck by an object of much greater mass. Robin rolled and came unsteadily to his hooves.
“That was un...” he ducked away as the back of Robert's paw whipped by his head. "That's quite unsporting.”
“Says the pony who surrounded me with his men. Stand and face me.”
“I am a unicorn. I face no one in physical battle.”
“Fine by me.” Robert infused his roar with a touch of magic, throwing Robin up the embankment.
“Warned you.” Said the pegasus in the tree. The other one had joined it now.
“Oh shut up.” Robin came to his feet. "Fine, if that's how you want to do it.” Black-green magic hummed the length of Robin's horn, and he fired a blast. Robert wrapped himself into a ball and took the blast to the side of his chest. Some of it scattered across him like lightning along a rod. The rest shoved him several feet, and cracked his ribs.
“My turn?” Robert said, stretching out. Magic poured out from him, his eyes glowing. Robin raised a shield around himself, strong in the front, weaker elsewhere. Robert smiled. And the trees exploded behind Robin. Splinters and shards of tree slammed into the unicorns shield, shattering it, and then hammered against his armor.
“A valiant effort, but for naught.” Robin drew power from his horn and fired a blast into the earth. Rock stretched up and encased Robert's paws, trapping him in place. Robin drew up a horn blast. Robert's eyes flashed orange, and the instant before the blast struck him, the rock covered him over. The blast shattered the rock around him, including that which held his paws.
“I think it's time to end this.” Robert said. Air swirled around him, gathering into blades, screaming at the air as they sharpened themselves against it. With a twitch of his tail, he sent them forward.
As easily as that, they could have maimed, killed, and left nothing but a blood stained mess of hamburger on the forest floor. Yet, his time with the ponies, and with Fluttershy in particular had tempered Robert's feelings. The blades of wind did not maim, did not kill. Instead they simply struck against the unicorns armor, slashing away at the metal, leaving great gouges in it, but more shearing through the straps holding it on. The armor fell away, revealing a buckskin coat and black mane and tail. Robin staggered back.
“Ugh. Accursed Tiger, now you'll...”
“Now, he'll be called to testify Land Owner.” the voice came from a white coated, gold armored unicorn, now standing beside the two Pegasi from earlier. A dozen more Royal guard materialized out of the bushes behind him, and an equal number of pegasi, also in Royal Guard Armor appeared from the clouds.
“Where did you guys come from?” Robert asked.
“We've been watching this guy for a while. He's a deposed noble, who took to banditry. We suspected it was him, but we couldn't move without confirmation.” The lead unicorn said.
“Fools! Now that I know you're here, I can...” One of the earth pony guards who had appeared behind Land Owner snapped a horn ring on the unicorn. The magic that had been building fizzled. Another guard snapped cuffs on him.
“I suppose you two are working under cover.” Robert asked the two 'bandit' Pegasi.
“Not precisely. I am, but my sister joined up with them legitimately. She came to us when she found out that they were not out here protecting the trees, but robbing the post.” The other pegasus, the one with the wingblades was glaring at him. Robert put two and two together and came up with the answer.
“I can fix those trees.” Robert said, looking at the pegasus with the wingblades.
“I'll hold you to that.” she answered. Her sister rolled her eyes. Robert sighed.
“Might I ask why you let me fight those fools?” Robert indicated the fallen ponies who were now being cuffed. Some of them tried momentarily to resist only to receive a sharp, painful lesson in the folly of that sentiment.
“Had to make sure we had someone in place in case mister Warlock wannabe decided to get cute.” the unicorn shrugged. Robert glared at him for a moment, then winced.
“Fine. I don't suppose you've got a medic on you?” They did, so he spent a little bit sitting on a stump, having his wounds cleaned and sewn up. That done, he found himself with a problem. "Hey. You with the wing knives.”
“What?”
“You cut the straps on these boxes, now you're gonna help me deliver 'em.” Robert said.
“Oh no you don't. You're not taking my sister into that mining camp alone.” the guard pegasus said.
“Of course not, thank you for volunteering.” the guard spluttered. The unicorn captain restrained a laugh.
“She's right I wouldn't feel right sending them into the camp. However, since you helped us, I'll send a few guards with you as well.” Robert nodded. They left, the two female pegasi and a half-dozen earth pony guards accompanying Robert. They had managed to repair the straps, but the pegasi had part of the load of dynamite, since Robert's injuries prevented him from carrying them. The pace they set wasn't too fast, but it was quick enough, and they arrived in the camp in good time.
Dig Deep was the name of the foreman, a brilliantly blue earth pony with a Pickaxe and Shovel as a cutie mark. The arrival time meant that only Dig Deep and a few of the surface workers were around. This only slightly comforted the Pegasi, who had heard stories. They unloaded their part of the dynamite and Robert set down the boxes, then got the necessary signature.
“Any trouble along the way?” Dig Deep asked.
“Just a few bandits. The guard was waiting for them, and got the entire band. They shouldn't bother you guys anymore. Of course, you might get new ones, but that's how things go.” Robert shrugged, and winced. He'd forgotten how annoying stitches were.
“Thanks. Glad you made it here. The boys get restless if they don't get the dynamite to keep mining.”
“Or the pay to keep drinking.” Robert said. Dig blinked.
“Come again?”
“I presume that's why the money was in the secret compartment.” Robert said.
“What money? There shouldn't have been money. You know what? Never mind. I'll deal with it. Here's your signature. Have a good day.” Dig showed Robert out. Robert paused, considering his options. Then he shook his head and started back to the guards. He'd tell them what happened and let them make a report up the chain of command. This was not what Robert was getting paid for.
The guards were waiting on the edge of the camp, except the pegasi who were well hidden within a cloud. Robert joined the guards and they headed out of the camp. Once they were out of sight, the Pegasi joined them. Robert told them about Dig Deep's strange reaction to the money in the boxes, and they said they'd look into it.
---
Robert was sitting in Sugarcube corner, munching on a blueberry muffin when Derpy came in.
“So, I see you got paid.” she said.
“So I did, and the muffins are on me.”
“Mmm... Muffins.” Derpy ordered. Rather conservatively for her earlier boasts, and sat down. "Hey, what happened? Where'd those bandages come from?” Robert related the story as they sat and ate.
“Wow. You did all that and only got hurt that little bit?”
“I did have a couple of advantages. They weren't using weapons really suited for fighting me. Plus I doubt any of them had seen a tiger fight before, so they didn't know what I could do. Of course, if had been a warrior, instead of a shaman, I'd have been wearing armor and wouldn't have gotten hurt.”
“And then you'd have been knocked out by the unicorn.” Derpy said, poking him gently with a hoof. "So you're lucky you're not a warrior.”
“True enough.” He reached for another muffin and winced. "On the other hand, I'd very much like to have had the armor.” Derpy laughed.
“My poor tiger.” she patted him with a wing.
“Oh, the pain, it hurts so much.” he moaned exaggeratedly. She laughed and pushed him away. He chuckled.
---
Twilight flopped down on her bed. The day had been longer than she expected, between her adventure in Spike's comic, and the research done in the library. Spike was already asleep in his basket, mumbling about the adventure. Twilight smiled. It had been somewhat fun, even if it was also dangerous. She made a mental note to stop in to the shop in Canterlot and have a few choice words with the owners. In the Royal Canterlot Voice. Luna had taught her how to do it.
She slid the covers over her, and nestled into the pillows.
Chapter 11
“Good Morning, Spike.” Robert said, pausing in his reach to knock on the library door.
“Morning Robert.” Spike said and yawned.
“Long night?”
“No, but yesterday seemed to last forever.”
“Tell me about it.” Robert said and showed off his new bandages.
“Whoa, what happened?”
“How about you tell me yours and by the time you're done Twilight should be up, and then I can tell you both mine.” Robert offered.
“Sure.” They headed into the kitchen and Spike started telling his story as they made breakfast. Twilight through some internal mechanism which still baffled Spike arrived just in time to eat, but just a little too late to help. He didn't even bother to call her on it any more. In truth, he didn't even mind, it had been so long there was no reason to depress himself.
“Morning Spike. Morning Rob... what happened?” Twilight asked.
“Oh these? Bit of a story. I was just getting ready to tell Spike all about it.”
“No, your tail.” Robert blinked and lifted his tail. It was no longer the uninterrupted orange it had been but now had two black rings and a black tip. "What?”
“Well, well. I guess yesterday was a bigger day than I thought. Spike told me about your day, let's see what you think of mine.” Twilight sat and ate as he ran them through the events of his day after he left Twilight, cutting off just before Derpy arrived.
“Wow. I didn't know there were bandits this close to town.” Twilight said. "I thought the guard had cleaned them all out.”
“Apparently these weren't the usual bandits. The Pegasus guard said that the leader, Land Owner was a deposed noble. He lost the last of his holdings in the mine, to a pair of unicorns and was trying to drive them out of business.” Robert sighed.
“Hmmm... so, you defeated more than a dozen bandits, including two Pegasi?” Twilight seemed skeptical.
“I'm not exactly a light-weight. And I was trained for quite a long time as a warrior. I'm not as practiced as my brothers, but I'm no slouch. Of course, I didn't do a perfect job. Thus the bandages.” Robert shrugged, then winced. "So... I'm thinking I might want to learn shielding before I go bandit fighting again.” Twilight laughed.
“Probably a good idea, but I want to ask you about your stripes.” Twilight's horn flashed and a notepad and pencil appeared on the table.
“Ask away, oh Princess.” Robert said. Twilight rolled her eyes.
“So, what do the stripes signify?” she asked.
“Normally, it signifies growth into adulthood. Usually stripes appear during one of the sparring matches we undergo as we grow up. One of the duties of a shaman is to read the pattern of the stripes and find out what the owner is meant to do. To a trained shaman, they are as easy to read as a cutie mark. But just because you're meant to be a chef doesn't mean you're stuck in that. It just means that your skills are suited to being one. Many tigers ignore their stripes completely. My father could have been a master mushroom farmer. My mother was meant to weave rugs. My father leads his tribe, and my mother leads our warriors. But dad grows mushrooms in his spare time to relax, and you've not known softness until you've lain on my mother's rugs. I'd put them up against a fine cloud.”
“Better not let Rainbow Dash hear that.” Spike said with a laugh.
“Definitely. You'll get dragged home just so she can find out.” Twilight grinned. Robert sighed. "Homesick?”
“A little.”
“Me too. Don't get me wrong, this is where my friends are, but you never leave your parents.” Twilight smiled. "So, stripes are like cutie marks. Does that mean you're going to get just the couple of stripes?”
“No. Shamans don't get their stripes all at once. It's a process like growing your horn. The more magic we use the stronger we grow, so the more magic we can use. I'd guess expending my magic against the unicorn yesterday was enough to promote some stripes.” Robert smiled. "I suspect he wouldn't be happy to hear that.”
“Agreed. So, you said that it lets you use stronger magic, what do you mean?”
“Hmm... well. What is the toughest spell you've ever cast?”
“I think the one I used to give Rarity wings. I mean, it wasn't Star-Swirl's unfinished spell. I cast that without knowing I was doing it, so it couldn't have been too hard.”
“What about the stuff you did to simulate Sombra?” Spike asked. Twilight shuddered at the memory.
“That wasn't magically hard. It was just hard to put myself into that evil mindset.” Twilight answered. "I think the wing spell was the hardest. she looked at Spike. Can you go get me the book?”
“Sure.” the purple dragon slid off his stool and disappeared for a minute.
“Wings? Rarity?” Robert asked.
“They weren't very strong, and she nearly died. Twilight sighed. "Fortunately, it gave Rainbow Dash the motivation to show off another Sonic Rainboom.”
“Here you go.” Spike laid the book on the table between them, and opened it to the relevant page. Robert stared at the spell.
“Impressive. And you cast this how long ago?” he asked.
“A couple years ago, before the transformation to Alicorn.” Twilight said. "It looks like it'd be much easier now.”
“Exactly, same thing with the stripes. Spells that used to be out of reach would now be possible. Plus there are other things unlocked as I gain stripes. Pieces of my training that I can use now that I couldn't before.”
“Such as?” Twilight asked.
“I can now see magic. In the ley lines and nodes that run under the world.” He blinked a couple times. “Ah.”
“What?”
“Turning it off isn't always easy.” he winced for a moment. "I'll have to practice that. Let's see what else.” he squinted. "Nothing else seems to work.”
“Well then. I guess we'll work on shields.” Twilight stood up. "You're still up for it. I mean, if you're too injured.”
“I'm okay. Nothing here a few days of healing can't fix. And it's not affecting my abilities, except for the wings. Can't do those until my ribs heal. Learned that the hard way.” he shook his head at the memory.
“Okay then, let me know if you want to stop.” Twilight looked around. "We probably shouldn't do it in town.”
“You're going to throw rocks at me, aren't you?
“Mayyyybe.” Twilight whistled innocently.
“Goody.”
---
Lyra missed a note. Bon-bon slammed a pillow over her head. “Sorry Bons.”
“It's fine.” Bon-bon answered. It was, she reflected, her own fault. She wouldn't trade Lyra for all the other unicorns in Equestria, but she was the one who suggested Lyra write music for money. So she couldn't possibly say anything about this particular job. Never mind the overwhelming urge to take the accursed flute and have Big Mac flatten it. Or have Rainbow Dash launch it beyond finding into the Everfree. But she would persevere in the face of... Lyra missed another note.
“Sorry.”
“Don't be sorry. Just... put it down. Practice it later today, or tomorrow. You're working so hard to learn to play and compose. But this is our day. Come on.”
“I guess one day couldn't hurt.” Lyra set the flute in it's case and closed the latches. "Let me put this away.” She lifted the case and trotted up the stairs. Bon-bon sighed, and enjoyed the quiet for a moment. "Okay, all done. What would you like to do?”
“How about a walk in the park?”
“Sounds like fun.” the pair left the house and headed through town. Along the way they stopped and bought a bunch of apples and some lettuce for a meal in the park. The park was largely quiet so early in the day, except for a few ponies strolling alone, mostly younger and older ones. The real sweethearts would appear later in the day, when heat forced them out of the houses and into the streets for the breeze. They arrived at the lake, and set down their bags. It was as days go, not bad at all. Hot enough to be slightly uncomfortable, but mitigated by the breeze just enough to be tolerable. They relaxed on the blanket they'd brought, snacking on apples and lettuce. It was a perfect day.
At least until the rocks started raining down. Lyra saw the first one land a dozen feet away from them. She wasn't a particularly strong shielder, but she had learned a couple of tricks. One of them being how to deflect things rather than just try to stop them. Thus when the second rock came screaming out of the sky, she threw up a sharply slanted shield that deflected the rock down to the beach where it hit with a thunderous splash.
“What on earth is going on?” Bon-bon asked.
“I don't know.” Lyra responded. She thought for a moment. "PINKIE!”
“You called?” Pinkie asked, appearing out of Bon-bon's mane. Bon-bon didn't bother to ask how. She was of the 'the less you know the better' camp when it came to Pinkie.
“Yeah we're... look out!” another rock slammed into the shield. It rolled off and thumped into the sand.
“Oh, I get it you're playing catch.” Pinkie said.
“No, they just started flying at us. Can you try and stop it? I can't get up without dropping the shield and... Oh no.” The rock was very large this time, and there wasn't much to slow it down. Fortunately it fell short of them, slamming into the ground with a huge spray of sand.
“Okie Dokie Lokie.” Pinkie disappeared.
---
“If I knew why they were bouncing like that, I could stop it. Since I haven't stopped it, obviously I don't know why they're bouncing.” Robert answered Twilight's question.
“A shield should NOT flex like that.” Twilight muttered, and scribbled something in her notes.
“Hey, are you guys throwing rocks?” Pinkie asked, appearing from nowhere.
“Yes.” Twilight answered.
“Lyra would like you to stop.” Pinkie said, smiling at Robert. He smiled back.
“What business is it of hers?” Twilight questioned, still distracted by her notes.
“Not much, except they keep falling on her and Bon-bon.” that got Twilight's attention.
“What? That's not possible. We're a mile away from town. They shouldn't be getting that close.” she skimmed through the book on shields she'd brought with her. "Here we go. No, even if this is a reflex weave shield, there's no way it should be able to bounce a projectile that far.” Twilight scribbled in her notepad again.
“What's this annotation?” Robert asked. Twilight looked close at it.
“The parabolic arc descriptor. That's what I mean when I said we shouldn't be seeing bounce back that far away.” Twilight said.
“Yeah, but that's a supposedly static shield and we're getting eight degrees of flexibility.” Robert pointed. "This is showing a maximum variance of two degrees.”
“Ugh. You're right. I don't understand why we're getting the flexibility though. You're sure you're using this exact formula?”
“Of course. Squiggle for Squiggle.” Robert grunted.
“So... no more rocks?” Pinkie interrupted hopefully.
“No, no more rocks.” Twilight said.
“Okie Dokie Lokie.” Pinkie bounced away.
“Look, let me drop a static shield. Then you can...”
“You can't drop a static shield.” Twilight said.
“Is there some rule I'm unaware of?” Robert asked.
“No, it's just impossible.” Twilight shrugged.
“Says the Alicorn Princess who's defeated three gods with the power of love and friendship.” Robert coughed. Twilight flushed.
“Yeah, but I had the Elements of Harmony. And they don't follow the normal rules.”
“Do you want me to prove you're wrong?”
“You're welcome to try.” Twilight said, with the smug satisfaction of someone supremely confident in their correctness. Robert chuckled. A shield erupted from the ground ten feet in front of them. Robert released his magic, and sat back to wait. "It's a trick, clearly.”
“Clearly.”
“It's not possible. Magic requires a constant feed of energy.” Twilight said. She walked up to the shield. "This is clearly impossible because it's not getting power. You're not feeding it, and neither am I. So clearly this is some kind of illusion.” She walked forward and slammed straight into it.
“Surprisingly solid illusion. Perhaps I should put on shows instead of being Shaman.” Robert ducked a rock.
“Clearly it's something more substantial.” Twilight said. "Perhaps conjured glass.”
“Right, I went to all the trouble of making a glass bubble ahead of time to conjure here just to trick you. Which doesn't explain the characteristic fluctuation effect of the standard bubble shield.” Robert shook his head.
“Glass concealed in an illusion.”
“Except an illusion would require power maintenance which by your own admission I'm not providing.”
“Except in the case of a runic inscription.” Twilight said. “Clearly this glass was runically inscribed.”
“Fine, make a hammer. Twilight snorted, and glared for a moment, then did just that. "If it's glass, give it a smash.” she realized he was goading her. For a moment she considered not doing it just to bother him, but her curiosity demanded her attention. The glowing purple hammer snapped down at the focal apex, a point which would cause the glass to shatter downwards instead of out. The hammer smashed into the shield,and rebounded.
“Ow.” she moaned and rubbed her horn. "How did you do that? That's not supposed to be possible.”
“For many spells, you're right. But shields are on the list that can be safely tied off. They lose something, but you can leave them sit and they'll hang around for several hours before they decay.”
“I... I don't believe it.” Twilight said.
“The math supports it. The rate of thaumatic decay on the shield is low enough in it's unburdened state that constant maintenance is unnecessary to continued support of the shield.”
“Unburdened?”
“Not being attacked or otherwise impacted.” He lifted a rock and motioned her back. She stepped aside. He fired the rock. It slammed into the shield, and rebounded. He caught it in a second small shield. It bounced from that back to the large one. Twilight watched him essentially play tennis with himself. After a short time, the larger shield began to decay, cracking and shattering. Pieces broke and fell away, then it finally gave way. Robert caught the rock with his telekinesis, and set it down. "The harder it gets hit, the faster it decays.”
“I don't believe it.”
“There are more things in Heaven and on Equestria than can be known by Elephant.” Twilight blinked. "Not an exact quote I think.”
“Probably not.” she shook her head. "This, she waved a hoof. Obviates a huge portion of the things I was taught.”
“It shouldn't. It's just new information.” Robert said calmly.
“Yeah, but it shouldn't be possible. My teachers all told me there was no way to do it.” Twilight said. "I tried for months.”
“Which is one of the many reasons I'm here.” Robert said. "Learning what other species have to teach and finding out what they say is and isn't possible. No matter how good your teacher is, they don't know everything. Or so my mentor says.”
Twilight's eyes narrowed, considering the implications. Then she thought back to the reason she was in Ponyville to begin with, and considered that he was correct. Not that she could not, had she been given reason to, made friends in Canterlot. “Sometimes they know things that you don't.” Twilight countered.
“A true thought if ever I heard one.” Robert answered.
“I think we should call it here for today. I want to process this thought.” Twilight said.
“How about over some dinner?” Robert asked.
“Race you, loser buys.” Twilight said and flew off towards town. Robert shook his head.
“Good thing I got paid.”
Chapter 12
There was no one around. This wasn't usually a good sign, but Lyra needed somewhere to practice that she wasn't going to interrupt anyone and wasn't going to break any windows. The edge of Sweet Apple Acres seemed the perfect place to go. Applejack and Big Mac were busy in the farthest fields, and Granny Smith could sleep through a tornado. Lyra had seen it happen once. Applebloom was at School. Winona was the only member of the family who had come to see what she was doing, and the dog had left the instant she saw the flute. Lyra couldn't blame her. If she hadn't needed, wanted the money, she would never have accepted the offer. Now it was the principal of the thing. She had never wanted to learn to play the flute. She'd have never even considered it. But now? Now she wasn't about to give up on it.
She settled down against the fence and uncased the flute. For a moment, nothing happened. Then she raised the flute, and blew a note. It sounded right and she began to play. Everything went fine, even as unbeknownst to her, dozens upon dozens of fruit bats landed in the tree behind her, entranced by her music.
And then, as the universe dictated, she missed a note. The bats, trance broken were now angry at being woken in the day time. So they attacked the source of their irritation. Lyra found herself the focus of an assault.
“BATS!” she screamed as she raced down the road towards the big pond.
Applejack and Big Mac saw the bats chasing her.
“Fruit bats.” Applejack's eyes narrowed. "Mac, I'm going to see Fluttershy and the girls.”
“Eeyup.”
“Help fish Lyra out of the pond wouldja?”
“Eeyup.”
---
Lyra sat in the chair by the fire, shivering and sneezing. “I quit.”
“No, you don't.” Bon-bon said, continuing her cooking.
“Yes. I give up on learning this stupid thing.” she jabbed an accusing hoof at the Flute, dried and safely returned to it's case. Then she realized it let in a draft and jerked the hoof back in.
“No you don't. You're just having a bad time of it.” Bon-bon said, and then glared at the platter containing two bowls of cabbage soup. Lyra saw her glaring.
“I got it.” her horn glowed and she levitated the platter to the table between the two chairs.
“Thanks.” there was a knock at the door.
“Come in.” Bon-bon called.
“Go away.” Lyra said at the same moment. Bon-bon glared at the green unicorn. Lyra sneezed at her.
“I'll get it.” Bon-bon said. Lyra slurped her soup. Bon-bon walked to the door and pushed it open. Robert stood on the other side of the door.
“Is Lyra home?” he asked.
“Yes,but she's not really in the mood for visitors.” Bon-bon replied.
“Oh. I was hoping to apologize for yesterday.”
“Yesterday?”
“I was the cause of the rocks.” Robert said. "Part of it anyway.”
“Alright, come on in.” Bon-bon said, stepping out of the way.
“Who's there?” Lyra asked, between sips.
“My name is Robert, you might have seen me around?” Lyra nodded. "I came over to apologize for the rocks yesterday.”
“That was you?”
“Well, me and Twilight. She was helping me learn shielding, and I was bouncing the rocks farther than we thought.”
“Oh. I guess that's what Pinkie meant. She said something about shields and rocks, but we were just happy when they stopped.” Lyra said. She sneezed again. "Sorry.”
“Not a problem.” Robert sighed. "I hope I didn't ruin your day.”
“Not too much.” Bon-bon said. "We didn't get hurt, which is the important thing.”
“Anything I can do to make it up to you two?”
“You don't happen to know how to play the flute do you?”
“No. I have no musical talent at all. I was actually banned from playing instruments after the incident with the buffalo.” Robert winced. Lyra blinked.
“Well, if you insist on doing something, I could use a day off from my stand in the market.” Bon-bon said. "I mean, it's not necessary.”
“Sounds easy enough.” Robert said. Bon-bon opened her mouth to say something, only to be cut off by Lyra's spit take spraying them with Cabbage Soup.
“Oh boy are you in for it.” Lyra laughed, and then coughed.
“What happened?” Robert asked.
“I was viciously attacked by monster bats.” Lyra said.
“Fruit bats. They attacked her for her flute playing.” Bon-bon corrected.
“Monster fruit bats.” Lyra expounded.
“Ah. Where?”
“Sweet Apple Acres.” Lyra answered, shuddering slightly.
“Which then explains the dearth of elements.” Lyra stared at him. "They're not anywhere to be found in town, ere go they must be out there helping with the bats.”
“Ah.... chooo!” Lyra's chair rattled.
“I'll leave you to the ministrations of your lady love then.” Robert bowed and walked to the door.
“Thank you for coming over. If you're serious about my stand, why don't you come over about noon on Thursday so I can show you how to run it. That's usually a slow day, and then I'll let you know when to take it for me.” Bon-bon offered.
“I shall see thee Thursday.” Robert bowed his head and stepped outside. Bon-bon closed the door, and trotted back to Lyra.
“That was cruel.” Lyra said.
“He offered.” Bon-bon shrugged. "I'll know Thursday if he's up to the challenge. I told him it was a slow day.”
“You sure you're not evil?” Lyra asked.
“Maybe just a little.” Bon-bon grinned.
---
Robert found himself at a bit of a loss. He'd come into town to see Twilight. She was out at Sweet Apple Acres, and he wasn't sure when she'd be back. So he trotted downtown instead. Spike was on his way back from the market, carrying a bunch of bags of vegetables and fruits. He was struggling slightly.
“Hello Spike, anything I can help you with?” Robert asked.
“Oh, hi Robert. Mind helping with these?” Spike shifted the bags.
“Not at all.” The bags rose in an orange glow.
“Thanks. Twilight's off with the girls so I'm home alone.” Spike led the way into the Library.
“So I heard. Mind the company?”
“Not at all. It's either you or the Crusaders, and don't tell them I said it, but you're slightly less destructive.” Spike grinned at him.
“Slightly less?” Robert said and put a paw on his chest. "Then I shall have to try that much harder.” Spike rolled his eyes.
“Please don't. It's bad enough cleaning up after Twilight and the girls.”
“Okay, when you put it that way.” Robert looked around. "So, what fun and exciting chores have you got lined up?”
“Nothing. Restocking the icebox was the last thing on the list for the day.”
“Really?” Robert grinned. “And what did you plan to do with the rest of the day?”
“I was going to read some comics. Why, what have you got in mind?”
“It just so happens, that I owe Rainbow Dash a prank. The problem is that her house is all the way up in the sky, so I have to wait for her to come down.”
“I might know a way. Come on.” Spike trotted into the Library and Robert followed him. He spent a few moments looking around and climbed a ladder. "Here we go.” He slid down the ladder and set the book on the stand. "This is Twilight's Cloudwalking spell. Think you can cast it?”
Robert read the pages and studied the spell for a few minutes. “Looks doable. But there's still the problem of getting up there.”
“That's easy.”
---
Fifteen minutes later, the balloon was floating up towards Rainbow Dash's cloud home. Spike threw a magical rope out and caught a mooring cloud. “Alright, spell time.”
“Right, let me see if it's going to work.” Robert's eyes flashed and then his paws. "Umm... if this doesn't work, don't tell anyone, okay?”
“My lips are sealed.” Spike turned a key and threw it away.
“Here I go.” Robert jumped over the side of the balloon and sand immediately to his belly. "Don't mention this either. Needs more juice.” Robert's eye's flashed. He disappeared, screaming. "I regret nothing!”
Ten minutes later, they were there again.
“I missed the note about needing to cancel it before recasting it.” Robert explained.
“Sure, I believe you.” Spike said, laughing.
“Yeah, yeah. Let's try this again.” Robert concentrated, and his eyes flashed. He jumped over the side, and landed on the clouds. "There we go.” he cast the spell on Spike, who jumped over and nodded.
“Okay, so what have we got?”
“Pink dye, yellow dye.” Spike dug in his bag. "Itching powder isn't going to do any good.” he grinned suddenly. "However, this might just do the trick.” he held up a can.
“You are one truly evil little dragon.” Robert smiled. "Give me the dye, and you plant that.” Spike passed him the dye. The hard part was finding his way around the cloud house. The second floor didn't really have stairs. Fortunately, it wasn't too far of a jump. Robert bunched himself up and leapt. He caught the edge of the second floor balcony and pulled himself up. The bathroom was down the hall. Robert skimmed through the bottles. Perfect, mane and tail Shampoo and coat wash. He set the Pink dye down and copied the look of the Shampoo perfectly. He spent a few minutes examining it, then moved on to the coat wash. By the time he was done, Spike was waiting.
“Hang on, I've got one more thing.” Robert grinned. He tied into Spike's Prank. "Get the itching powder. “ Spike raised an eye brow. "Trust me.”
“Oh, I get it.” Spike grinned. And I'm the evil one?”
“Yes, yes you are.” Robert laughed. “Come on, let's get out of here before she catches us.”
“Good idea.”
---
They spent the rest of the day in the Library reading comics. And arguing over them. “Fili-second could totally out run Quick Fang.”
“Bah, Quick Fang is totally faster. That's his power, to be faster than anyone else.” Robert defended.
“Yeah, but he's got no turning. She'd just duck around a corner and be gone before he got around it.” Spike replied.
“True, but he'd get there first, and be in motion before she was around the corner.” Robert answered.
“Are you two reading comics?” Twilight asked, coming in the door.
“No, quantum physics.” Spike answered. Twilight blinked. Spike and Robert high-fived.
“Did I miss something?” Twilight asked.
“No.” the pair answered.
“Oookay.” Twilight shook her head. "Right, either of you seen my copy of Bat species?”
“Top shelf, right hand side.” Spike said. "Should be with the notes on Fluttershy's stare.” Spike said, anticipating her next question through some unknown reasoning.
“How... nevermind. Too much time around Pinkie I suspect.” Twilight blinked upstairs, then back down a few minutes later. "Thanks. Be back soon.” Robert raised an eyebrow.
“Chances are she cast a spell to deal with the Bats and it hit Fluttershy as well.” Spike said. "She did something with parasprites, and that backfired.”
“Parasprites?” Robert asked.
“Little bugs, about the size of a tennis ball, with a massive appetite. They started eating all the food in town. Twilight cast a spell to stop them. They started eating the town.” Spike flipped a page. "Pinkie got rid of them.”
“I'm probably going to regret asking.”
“One pony band.” Spike chuckled. "Twilight thought she'd gone even crazier than usual, but she saved the day.”
“Yup, knew I was going to regret that.” Robert turned his own page. "Hey, that pony looks familiar.”
“Yeah, so does that tiger...”
“CROSSOVER!”
---
Rainbow Dash was exhausted. All she wanted was a warm shower and a rest. Chasing Fluttershy was harder than she expected. She winged her way up to her cloud home and nudged the mooring cloud back into shape, not even realizing she'd done it. She passed through the door, and flapped to the second floor. The thundercloud she kept for the shower was cold, but she manipulated it to warmth with a minimum of effort, and stepped under it.
“Ah, nothing like a nice warm shower to loosen up the muscles.” she had considered not showering, but caught a whiff of herself and decided to wash. She shampooed her mane and tail and then scrubbed the sweat out of her coat. Tired as she was, she thought little of the strange feeling of the hygiene products. It wasn't until she walked into her bedroom, shook the last of the water from her mane and leapt into bed that she found out what was wrong.
The impact of a pegasus on the cloud surface of the bed triggered the first prank. The thundercloud in a can had a four second fuse, just enough time for Rainbow to roll over and snuggle in. The next moment, thunder barked, sending her shooting up to the ceiling. She yelped, and looked around to see the source of the solution. A message flickered into the air before her.
“You have been pranked. The ball is in your court.” The cloud writing was clear and precise. It wasn't signed, but Rainbow Dash knew exactly who wrote it. She bashed through the clouds. The itching started small. She scratched at it as she dug into the cloud for the canned thunder. It got worse as she dumped the now spent can into the trash. By the time she got back to her bed, she was scratching all over. She realized what had been done.
“I'm so going to let him have it now.”
Chapter 13
Author's Notes:
Since it fits the story better and I can't find a reason not to, I'm reversing the order of Rarity takes Manehattan and Pinkie Apple Pie. Normal episodic order will resume after these have been dispensed with.
Rainbow Dash landed outside Fluttershy's Cottage. She'd been unable to find Pinkie or Applejack and didn't expect Rarity or Twilight to be very interested in pranking. She figured she'd be able to talk Fluttershy into at least giving her an idea. She knocked on the door. Fluttershy opened it. She screamed.
“What's the matter?” Rainbow Dash asked, concerned.
“You. You're not a changeling?” Fluttershy asked.
“What? Of course not, why would you think that?”
“Your coloring, you look almost like me.” Fluttershy pointed.
“Do you need glasses, there's no way that I look... AIGH!” Rainbow Dash finally had a reason to look at herself. She'd been too concerned with removing the itching powder to notice anything but the feeling of it being gone, even after she'd had to rewash her coat, mane and tail. She took a deep breath. "Okay, now that tiger has gone too far.”
“Robert? You don't think the dear had anything to do with this? Do you?” Fluttershy asked.
“I'm sure he did. But if he wants to break out the big guns, then that's fine. So will I.”
“Rainbow Dash! You know violence never solved anything.” Fluttershy chided.
“Violence has solved lots of things, but that's not what I mean. So tell me, how do I find Discord?”
“You need but ask my dear, sweet Rainbow Dash.” Discord said, appearing out of thin air. "Oh my, whatever happened to you? He paused. "Though I must say I like the look, you don't quite hold a candle to the original.”
Fluttershy more or less burst into flames and fled into the house. Rainbow Dash shook her head. “A prank war that's been escalated. I figure the master of chaos is the place to turn when I need to play a prank of truly epic proportions.” Rainbow Dash grinned.
“Well, you might just be right.” Discord tapped his chin thoughtfully for a moment. "Tell me about your pranking competitor.” Rainbow Dash did.
“Oh my, a tiger? I haven't had fun with a tiger in a very long time.” Discord grinned. "But I have just the prank to pull.” he pulled her close. "It goes just like this.”
---
Fluttershy dropped the package at the Post Office. She wasn't entirely sure about the plan, but Discord had been adamant that it wouldn't hurt anyone, so she decided to humor him. The box was not only large, but was to be delivered by noon the next day, and was too heavy to be carried by a Pegasus. She left as the manager was putting a notice on the board.
Robert came in, several minutes later, to check the board. The delivery paid well, since it was going a very long distance.
“What is it?” he asked the manager.
“No idea, just that it's marked fragile. The problem is that you might not make it in time unless you cross the Everfree, and that's going to be dangerous. Especially for you, but also for the crate.” the manager looked him in the eye. "You sure you can handle it? If not, I'll get a sky chariot in. Might be a little late, but it'll arrive intact.”
“I'll be fine. I'm not turning down that kind of bonus for something like the Everfree.” Robert shrugged. "Besides, I like a challenge.”
“Alright, just remember you break it, you don't get paid.” Robert nodded. A few minutes later, he was loaded with the package. "Still not too late to say no.”
“Just keep my bits warm.” Robert said, with a smug grin. “This was going to be easy.”
Famous last words, he thought, as he slogged through the marshes surrounding the lake he was circum-navigating. The water was up to his chest, and was cold. It was also full of leeches, he'd been less than enthused to discover. Fortunately, a vermin repulsion spell kept them away from him. There was no help for the temperature of the water, or impenetrability of the marsh itself. As he climbed out of the other side of the marsh, he discovered yet another unpleasantness of the mud. It stank. It also, he discovered, trying to remove it from his fur, clung. He sighed.
“This doesn't seem like much of a prank.” Rainbow Dash said, watching from a cloud high above. Discord, lying beside her chuckled.
“Just wait.” he said, sipping some unidentifiable drink. "It gets better.”
Robert continued his slog towards his destination. The flies started. Buzzing, landing, biting. Robert sighed, and reinforced the spell to repel the leaches. The bugs came in droves. He muttered something. Fire burst from him, wrapping him like a cloak. The flies flew in, and dissolved. It didn't take long before they stopped bothering him. The mud dried and cracked up as well. It fell away in flakes as he walked. Freed of the mud, Robert kept on. The ground flattened out, and he shifted into a smooth, ground eating trot. The cases tinkled slightly, but a glow of magic quieted them. Rainbow thumped the cloud with a hoof.
“You said they'd break.” she accused.
“I did, and they will.”
The ground began to slope upwards, slowing Robert to a walk. The path narrowed as it passed into a canyon, then up the side of a mountain. He slipped and slid his way up, nearly falling twice and nearly dropping the boxes. The path widened again.
“Now.” Discord mimed pulling back a sling shot, and let go. A bullet of magic slammed into the mountain, sending a gravel slide, skittering down the mountain. Robert heard it, saw it, and looked around. There were no rocks to hide behind, no trees to climb. So he knelt and braced himself against the closest box. The gravel hit just as he erected as shield, diverting it around himself and the boxes. Discord's jaw opened and closed a few times.
“Should have known this wouldn't work.” Rainbow Dash said. "Some Master of Chaos.” She stood up to leave. Discord snapped his mouth shut.
“Sit back down, I'm going to get serious.”
“As if.” Rainbow said.
“Oh you know what I mean.” Discord said, sounding a little miffed.
Robert continued along the path, shield sweeping away the remaining gravel. He scanned the ground ahead of himself, finding a good place to sleep. A tree presented itself, and he settled down in front of it. The sun began to set, and he began snoring loudly enough for the pair on the cloud to hear it.
“Good, come on.” Discord snapped his claws and reappeared beside the sleeping Tiger. Rainbow swooped silently downwards, hovering so as not to give away her existence. "Hmm, what to do?” Discord said.
“Keep it down.” Rainbow Dash whispered.
“I plugged his ears.” Sure enough, the sleeping Tiger's ears were filled with drain plugs. Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Ah ha, I have just the thing.” Discord snapped, and two paintbrushes appeared. He plucked them out of the air, and set to work. Dash held back laughter as long as she could.
“Somehow, I don't think those were the stripes he wanted.” she said, finally letting it out.
“I know, some of my finest work.” Discord said.
---
Robert stretched as he woke, pastel pink paws powerfully pressing peat beneath him. He paused. Somewhere along that train of thought, his brain threw up a red flag. He considered the thought, then looked down at his leg. Then back along his body, then at the tip of his tail. He had, somehow, gained pastel green coloring, with metallic, hot pink stripes. After a moment, he crossed his eyes, to get a good look at his nose, which had been turned bright red and was slowly strobing bright then dark and back again.
“Forsooth, my nose doth verily wink like yon home of light which guides errant ships.” The sentence flowed from his mouth without any direct input from his brain. He narrowed his eyes. Then he shrugged, hefted the boxes, and continued on.
“That's interesting. He seems unphased.” Discord said. Rainbow snorted.
“Are you sure you're trying?”
“You asked me for help.” Discord pointed out. "Besides, I'm doing the best I can. I promised Fluttershy I wouldn't hurt him.” Rainbow groaned. "If you want to get blasted by the Stare, you go right ahead. I'm not going to risk it.”
“Fine. But wrack that fine, chaotic mind of yours and let him have it.”
“Deal.” Discord stared for a moment. Ah. he smiled and looked around. His fingers snapped. A group of timberwolves suddenly woke, and became aware of Robert. The shifting wind drew his scent to them. They drew themselves together and started towards him.
“I thought you promised Fluttershy.” Rainbow accused.
“I haven't broken that promise yet.” Discord said. "I'm sure he'll be fine.”
“If he's not, I'm going to step in.”
“Fine.”
Robert for his part, heard the sound of the timberwolves well before he saw them. They burst out of the edge of the forest, and loped into position surrounding him. He sighed heavily. The largest of the wolves stepped forward to advance on him. Then stepped back as it realized he was advancing on it. With each step, Robert began to grow, larger and larger. The wolves backed up. The leader of the pack stopped backing up. It began to growl louder, trying to scare off the prey that was suddenly attacking. Robert grew larger still. Rainbow watched in a combination of disbelief and startlement. The big timberwolf suddenly lunged. Robert reached out and smashed it to the ground. The spirit fled the body. The other timberwolves bolted. Rainbow Dash blinked. In that time, Robert was suddenly back to normal size, and walking on his way.
“But. But.” Discord twitched. Rainbow Dash's jaw just hung.
“I don't believe it.” she said.
Robert reached his destination less than an hour later. It was a small dirt hut, set into the side of a river embankment. He paused outside the door, seeing no bell and unsure how to knock with a paw. “Delivery!”
“Comin'.” The door opened, and a goat appeared. "What delivery?”
“These.” Robert said, and set down the boxes. He lifted the lids and showed the contents.
“I don't recall orderin' these. I'm pretty sure I'da knowed doin' that.” the goat answered.
“All I know is that I'm supposed to deliver them here.” Robert said. "If you don't want them, tell me and I'll find a hole to drop them down.”
“Never said, I didn't want 'em. Jus' said I didn't order 'em. Where do I sign?” Robert showed him the paper, and the goat signed it. "Thank you kindly.”
“Thank you, have a good day.” Robert turned away, then paused when he heard a sharp crunch. He looked back. "How's the taste?”
“Just fine. Haven't had these Neighponese crystals since my seafarin' days.” the old goat said. Robert nodded.
“Enjoy.” he walked until he was out of earshot, then began banging his head on a tree.
Discord laughed maniacally. Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Okay, that was... that was pretty weak.”
“Yes, but it works.” Discord said. "Besides, you did manage to prank him, right?”
“I guess.”
“So you're behind this?” Robert asked. Rainbow Dash spun, noticing as she did that Discord had vanished completely. “And just how did you pull it off?”
“Umm... magic?” Dash said, with a grin. Then she paused. "How did you get up here?”
“You can thank Twilight for that. I bounced off one of my shields. Pretty good trick don't you think?”
“Uh, yeah?” Rainbow said. "So... I guess this means I'm in for a bigger prank?”
“No”. Robert said. "I think I'll let it stop here.” he gave her a toothy grin. "We'll just say you won, if anyone asks. Fluttershy.”
“What? I got it all didn't...” she spun around trying to look at her own coat. When she didn't see anything, she stopped and rolled her eyes. "Okay, you got me.”
“Good, then I can get a nice, carefree ride back.” He flopped down on the cloud. Rainbow opened her mouth, then closed it. Then she flapped her wings, sending the cloud through the sky.
“I just gotta know one thing.”
“What's that?”
“That growing, how did you do that?”
“It's maaagic.” he answered slyly.
Chapter 14
“Seriously, you backed down timberwolves?” Twilight asked. "How did you do that?”
“Maagic.” Robert answered. Twilight glared at him. "No, seriously. I used an illusion. And a little bit of telekinesis.”
“Ah. I see.” Twilight said. Robert quirked a brow at the way she said it.
“What?” he asked.
“Never found much use for illusions myself.” Twilight shrugged.
“Because she's not very good at them.” Spike pointed out.
“My illusions are...” she started.
“... like Rainbow Dashes attempts at art.” Spike finished.
“Hey!” Dash objected.
“We are not that bad. Said a very poorly made rabbit.” Fluttershy laughed quietly. Angel gave Twilight a look of disdain. Rainbow laughed out loud.
“See, I told you. My drawing is much better.” Spike nodded. Twilight stared for a moment, then laughed.
“Okay, I guess it is.” she said.
“It is simply a matter of practice.” Rarity said, from across the room, standing near the book shelves. Every set of eyes went from where she continued to lay, to the duplicate standing across the room. "Once one learns to focus on the small details, it is simple enough to duplicate one's appearance. And it is much easier to create the illusion of a dress, than make the whole thing and decide you don't like it.” The duplicate was suddenly wearing a massive gown that only slightly clipped into the wall. "Of course somethings are simply better in the mind's eye, than in reality.” The gown vanished. Then the illusion disappeared.
“Your horn wasn't glowing.” Twilight said, more than a little startled.
“Oh, but it was. I was simply covering my horn with an illusion to make it appear not to.” Rarity said. Twilight's jaw worked for a moment.
“How did I not think of that?” Twilight asked.
“It wasn't on a checklist.” Spike muttered. He didn't pay attention when she glared at him. "Well, it wasn't.” he added after a moment, still not seeming to look up.
“You simply did not have time to come to the conclusion Darling. You would have gotten it given time to work it out.” Rarity said confidently.
“Yes, probably.” Twilight said. "You said you used telekinesis?”
“When I smashed the lead timberwolf with my 'paw'”. he made air quotes with his fore paws. "It sold the illusion enough to fool the others, but it's not something I'd want to do more than once if I can avoid it.” he shook his head.
“Why?” Twilight asked.
“It took most of the power I had left to do that. I could do it maybe twice, but I'd be drained completely.” he answered.
“Ah, I see. Is that the power requirements or the difficulty of applying such a heavy blow?” Twilight asked, note pad appearing beside her. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
“Twilight. Notes later, lunch now.” Twilight grinned sheepishly.
“Sorry.”
“For what Sugarcube?” Applejack asked, arriving with a picnic basket, and followed by a bouncing Pinkie.
“Taking notes during our lunch break.” Twilight said. "I'm just fascinated.”
“Ah know, but right now let's eat and you can be fascinated after lunch.” As if to punctuate the point, Twilight's stomach rumbled. "Plus today I brought a little treat.” she paused. "Pinkie, that's your cue.”
“Huh?” Oh, right. Pinkie reached into her mane and extracted Gummy. Who proceeded to belch up a keg of Sweet Apple Acres Cider Reserve.
“Ew.” Rarity said for the lot of them.
“No worries, Gummy's sanitary.” Pinkie said, to no one's belief. She didn't seem to notice though. Instead she slid through space and snuggled up to Robert. "So... what's up buttercup?”
“The sky.” he answered. Rainbow laughed.
They set out the meal and watched the pets play while they ate. After a little while, Rarity looked at the others. “Girls, I'd like to thank you for coming with me to Manehattan. It means a lot to me to have you there with me.”
“We wouldn't miss it.” Applejack said. "Not for all the apples in Equestria.”
“Or all the frosting.” Pinkie added.
“Or most of the animals.” Fluttershy said. No one noticed her phrasing.
“I'm excited to see the museums.” Twilight said. "Getting to do it with my friends just makes it all the better.”
“Yeah, it's going to be awesome. Though not as awesome as me.” Rainbow put in. Everyone laughed. Rarity noticed Robert staring off into space.
“I'm sorry I couldn't get you a ticket on such short notice Robert.” Rarity offered.
“No worries. I'm not a big city type.” Robert shrugged. "Of course, if you happen to bring me a snowglobe, I'll count that as repayment enough.”
“A snowglobe?” Rarity asked. He nodded.
“I always wanted to collect snowglobes from places I went but they don't seem to have a Ponyville Snowglobe. So I'll settle for one from Manehatten.” He was reasonably certain there wasn't a Ponyville snowglobe, since he'd spent the better part of a day checking every single shop in town, including Sofa's and Quills, who had, characteristically enough, been out of both Sofa's and Quills. He'd left with a pencil and raincheck on an ottoman, if for no reason other than to cheer up the salespony.
“I suppose somepony with some influence should change that.” Rainbow said, elbowing Twilight, who grunted.
“Stop poking me.” the alicorn said with a groan. “All of Manehattan and all you want is a snowglobe?”
“I know only two things about the place. It's not my kind of place, and I want a snowglobe from there. I'll even pay you back if you like.” he said, looking her in the eye.
“Well I guess I, I...” she kept saying it for a moment.
“Oh now look what you've done. You've gone and broken Twilight.” Rarity said.
“Don't worry, I've got this one.” Pinkie said and produced a tremendously large mallet.
“Ah, Pinkie!” Twilight jumped back as confetti exploded in her face.
“I've been itching to try out my new party mallet!” Pinkie grinned, blowing smoke from the open end of the mallet head.
---
While Robert technically had the day off from Zecora's Lab, he was still working. This time though he was manning Bon-bon's sweets stand, and frankly, he was enjoying it. So far he'd sold more than half of what she'd made up for him that morning, though she promised a resupply about lunch time. He'd bought himself a couple of the sweets, slipping bits into the box and munching the food. He stayed away from anything sticky, as much to save the trouble of extracting it from his teeth later, as to keep from having it in his mouth when trying to sell things.
He'd learned two important lessons. First was perhaps the more important of the two. Do not show teeth when smiling at the customers, especially since not all the residents were used to smiling predators that weren't about to eat them. The second however, was to always be ready for a song. The morning contained no less than three songs, one of them sung by Pinkie Pie for some completely unfathomable reason, since she was supposed to be several hundred miles away in Manehattan. Not a single pony found that even curious, including Robert, he realized as he ate his lunch. It was not the weirdest thing he'd seen her do.
Bon-Bon was true to her word, and just after noon, she and Lyra arrived with fresh sweets. “How's the morning going?” she asked.
“Not bad. Once I realized my smile was the problem, I started doing a bit of a booming business. In between songs anyway.” he answered with a shrug.
“Songs?” Lyra asked.
“Yeah, three so far. Including a rendition of Streets of Baltimare led by Pinkie. How she managed it, I'm pretty sure I'll never know.” he answered. "Probably for the best.”
“Yeah, probably.” Bon-Bon answered.
“Enjoying your day off?” he asked, watching her expertly arrange the sweets.
“Yes, we are.” Lyra answered.
“I guess that explains the flour.”
“Flour?”
“On your cutie mark.” Lyra slowly turned red as realization dawned on her, her tail surreptitiously reached around and swept both sides clean.
“Thank you.” she said, still glowing. Bon-Bon was laughing too hard to say anything. Lyra dumped the remaining sweets on the table, then took tray and maniacally laughing marefriend and beat a hasty retreat.
“What's with those two?” Cloudkicker asked, landing in front of the stand.
“Got caught in evidence of debauchery.” Robert answered.
“What, again?” she asked with a grin.
“Apparently.”
---
The wagon creaked to a halt. Big Mac wiped the sweat from his brow. He'd spent the morning picking apples and sorting them. Taking them to town in the afternoon was usually Applejack's job, but she was off in Manehattan, so it fell to him. It wasn't that he minded, but after a morning of work in the fields, heading into town with the wagon bothered him. He preferred to stay on the farm, and work there, where none of the animals bothered about his smell. Still, with his sister away, it was his job to sell the apples. So he'd submersed himself in water to wash away the worst of the smell, and started into town. He stopped the cart behind the stand and set to setting up. He surveyed the market as he did so, noticing who was and wasn't there. He was slightly surprised to see that Bon-Bon wasn't at her stand. She was almost always selling sweets. Just as he was wondering if she was sick, she arrived with Lyra in tow, the latter carrying fresh sweets. The tiger, Robert, poked his head over he counter when she arrived. They held a conversation while Lyra laid out the sweets, then Bon-Bon exploded into laughter, and Lyra burst into flame, and eventually drug the cream coated mare away. Big Mac watched the scene impassively. Living in a Town containing Pinkie Pie, it wasn't really worth getting excited over the various lesser antics. Not that Mac'd ever been particularly excitable to begin with.
He was well aware of the perception that he was slow. He considered that while some meant it as an insult, being slow meant that he was less likely to jump to an incorrect conclusion. It did not mean that he was stupid, or incapable of rapid action in a crisis. Since this most likely did not qualify, he spent the afternoon considering the implications of Robert running the sweet stand. Come the end of the day, Mac stowed the bit box and ambled over to Robert.
“Hello... Big Mac?” Robert asked. He wasn't the best with names.
“Eeyup.”
“Don't see you in town much.”
“Nope.”
“Look it's been a long day, do you mind dropping the dumb blonde act?”
“Not at all.” Mac grinned. "Most people don't see that.”
“I'm insightful.” Robert answered. "What's she do with the left overs?”
“Never has any.” Mac replied.
“Ah, figures.” the tiger glared at the stand. "Want to split them? I'm buying.”
“Sure.”
---
“Is it just me, or is this town awfully rich on female companionship?” Robert asked, padding along beside Big Mac.
“Eeyup. Balanced between the tribes, but not so much the genders.” Mac made for if not quite so intellectual conversation as Twilight Sparkle, conversation that was much easier to process in a tired brain.
“Sounds a more familiar than I expected.” Robert said.
“How so?”
“My tribe has a lot of females, and not so many males. It does tend to make dating a little competitive.”
“Ugh. I'd rather not talk about dating, thank you.” Big Mac rolled his eyes.
“Oh?” Robert asked.
“Between Mares assuming things about my name, and assuming things about me being single, it's bad enough. But when my own sister poisons me...”
“Okay, now I have to hear that story.” Robert said, chuckling. Big Mac told him. By the end of it, Robert was laughing so hard he was having trouble walking in a straight line.
“It's not that funny.” Big Mac said.
“Yes. Yes it is.” Robert gasped between guffaws. "Best romantic Comedy I've heard in years.”
“Yeah, right.” Mac shook his head. "I was going to invite you to stay for dinner, but I don't know about that now.”
“I promise to behave.” Robert said, raising his paw. "By Celestia and the Sovereigns I swear to endeavor not to embarrass you intentionally.”
“Good enough. Would you like to stay for dinner?”
“Yes. You're sure there'll be enough?”
“Definitely, Granny Smith always makes far more than we can eat. I didn't get to be Big Mac on small meals.” Mac chuckled.
“Sounds delicious.” Robert said.
---
Bon-bon shook the cup.
“Roll already.” Lyra grunted.
“I'll roll when I'm ready.” the earth pony replied.
“You're ready, roll.” A burst of magic knocked the cup out of her hooves. The dice bounced and jostled then landed. "Snake Eyes. Pay up.”
“Nope. Doubles. Means I get a re-roll.”
“No it doesn't.”
“Yes it does.” Lyra put a hoof on one die the same moment Bon-bon put her's on the other. They stared at one another for a long moment. "It do...” Lyra shut her up with a small motion.
Chapter 15
Derpy's head bounced slightly as she laid it on the table. All the times she'd been doing the job, and she'd still not found a good way to recover from an overnight delivery. Pinkie's Coffee Bean muffins were a good start to most days, but after an overnight, they weren't quite enough. So today, she'd ordered the Pinkie Express. It required a signed consent form from most ponies. Derpy had one on file for mornings like this.
“You look like the underside of a bridge.” Robert said, walking up to the table.
“I feel like the underside of a boat.” Derpy replied. "You're not exactly looking fantastic yourself.”
“I spent yesterday running the sweet stand for Bon-Bon.” Robert replied. "I feel like a boiled sweet.”
“Sit down, and I'll order a muffin for you. It's just the thing.” Derpy said. Robert took a seat at the table. She could sympathize. Bon-Bon was good at getting ponies to work her stand, and Derpy had been roped in once. The muffins had not been worth it.
“Here you go DD.” Cup Cake said, setting the muffin down. "What can I get you dear?” She asked Robert.
“Give him a Coffee Bean on my tab.” Derpy answered for him. He nodded in confirmation.
“Okay, coming right up.” she trotted to the counter, as Derpy reached out and picked up the muffin.
“Lean back.” She said to Robert and attacked the muffin. It vanished beneath her onslaught, and for a moment, nothing unusual occurred. Then her eyes bugged out, and her previously drooping ears straightened. So did her wings, stiffening painfully straight for a moment, then relaxing. She shuddered in a mix of pain and pleasure then relaxed. "Wow, that was a strong one.”
“You alright?”
“Yeah. That's a Pinkie Express. Don't order it unless you need it. And be ready to sign a consent form. It's a pick-me-up like nothing else around. Pinkie eat's those for breakfast.” Derpy sighed at the plate.
“Sounds like it's a little dangerous.”
“Only if you eat more than one at a time.” she answered. "I've never seen any pony but Pinkie and Rainbow Dash eat more than one. Even Dash stops at two.”
“I think I'll stay away from it then. I'd rather not turn into either of those two.”
“Probably for the best.” Derpy grinned. "So, I heard you had a fun time with a delivery.”
“Ugh, don't remind me.” he paused. "Thank you.” he said to Cup Cake. "That was a miserable experience the likes of which I have not experienced since my trip to Ponyville.”
“Oh?” Derpy raised an eyebrow. Robert related the story as he ate. "That's.. hilarious.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Well, it is. I mean, who could have seen that coming? I don't think even Celestia would have caught that one ahead of time.” Derpy chuckled and glanced at the clock. "I'm headed in, if you're going.”
“I'm supposed to work with Zecora today, but I'll come along anyway.” he stood up and held the door for her.
---
“So student of mine, have you properly studied the potion we are about to refine?”
“I have indeed. Is it true that when we begin we must act with speed?”
“Yes it is true, that time is of the essence when distilling this brew.” Zecora answered.
“Then give the word to go, and this one I will try not to blow.” Zecora grinned, then nodded.
The ensuing explosion was more technicolor than actually dangerous, though frizzy hair ruled the day.
“I just don't get it. These are simple potions and they shouldn't be exploding like this.” Zecora grumbled, flipping through a book. "Oh. Oh no.”
“What's the matter?” Robert asked.
“I am an idiot.” the zebra said, thumping her head gently onto the book.
“How so?” Robert inquired, stepping up beside her.
“I forgot the most basic of tenets.”
“David?”
“No, strength. The power that gives potions strength comes some from the brewer, as from the ingredients. So what strength it needs in magic comes from the touch of the hoof or paw which creates it. she took a breath. And I have forgotten to change my recipes to account for the difference between tiger and pony magics.”
“Magic is magic, isn't it? At least, that's what Dawn-seer said.” Robert shook his head.
“When spells are cast, power is power, this is true. Power for spells can come from without, but power to brew potions must come from within you.” she paused, considering how to explain it. "I think perhaps it is your trick, with the wings that produces this powerful effect upon these potion and producing these effects theatrical.”
“Bit of a stretch there.” Robert noted the frailty of her rhyme. She ignored him.
“This potion we must brew once more, but much larger will be the next batch, for your encore.”
---
The bottles of potion were stacked neatly in crates. There had been no explosion, beyond the proscribed expansion of gasses as the ingredients reacted. It had even had the proper pleasant lemon smell. Zecora was surprisingly ecstatic. “Now my hut will no longer make that horrible noise of ker-splut.”
“That was awful.”
“I know, but at least we don't smell like skunks.” Zecora laughed.
“True, very true. So you think this is enough Poison Joke antidote?”
“Yes, I think perhaps it is. A fine strength you have made. Perhaps this explains your latest stripe.” he glanced back at his tail and he had indeed gained another. "I must admit, your teacher was never much for the brewing of potions.”
“Tell me about it. He can't even brew tea, much less potions. I've seen him explode Earl Grey.”
“I have seen such a feat, and when he was finished the room was not fit to live in, much less as a place to eat.” Zecora shuddered at the memory. "Now perhaps that first potion we should attempt again, now that we know the problem in it's making.”
“Indeed, I think such would be an interesting undertaking.” Zecora chuckled and began pulling jars from the shelves.
---
“Well... at least it doesn't smell like skunk.” Robert noted.
“No, it does not. But that would be far better than this indescribable gunk.” Zecora was also brilliantly purple. Robert was all white. They were covered in something resembling changeling slime, but less thick and at the same time even more sticky. "I would ask you to burn off this powerful stuff, but I am too scared you will take with it all my fluff.”
“Okay, now you are reaching.”
“To the choir, you are preaching.” Robert groaned.
“Let me see if I can free myself, then I'll see if I can free you.” he gathered himself and expanded a shield. It hit the goo, and stretched. Nothing happened for a moment, then he pushed harder. For a moment it appeared as though it was working, then the shield snapped. Robert bounced into the air, still attached, then snapped to the ground, landing with a grunt. "Ow.”
The sound of approaching hooves interrupted Zecora's reply. “Applebloom. Our savior approaches.”
“Provided she does not get stuck.” Robert replied.
“Applebloom?”
“Zecora?” the sound of hooves slowed and stopped. "Is everything okay?”
“No, it is not. Come no closer, and touch no patch of goo, or else it will stick to you.”
“Alright, how can I help?”
“Head back to town and get some aid. Some with some understanding of adhesives, without excess delay.”
“Got it, I know just the pony.” the sound of her hooves rapidly retreating in the distance somehow did not fill them with comfort.
The earth pony in question had a mustache. This did even less to fill them with confidence. His cutie mark was a broken chemical bond however. He examined the goo, then dug into his saddlebag and produced a small squeeze bottle. A few drops dissolved the goo and in short order, he had them free. He spent a little while wandering around, removing patches of goo. When he was done he ambled over to the pair.
“That'll a-be thirty a-bits.” he explained.
“Worth every bit.” Robert said, passing him a bag. "Thanks for coming so quickly.”
“Its-a not the first time I've a-had to unstick one a Applebloom's friends.” he shrugged. "She's a-gotta discount card.”
---
The train station was only moderately crowded. Robert had noticed that there were always a few ponies coming or going from Ponyville, and this day was no exception. Surprisingly, he found himself waiting with the Mayor, one of the few ponies he'd not had much reason or opportunity to deal with.
“So, you're our newest resident.” she'd said. "I'm pleased to meet you.”
“The pleasure is all mine Mayor. Since we have not been formally introduced, I am Robert.” he offered his paw. She shook it.
“A pleasure. My name actually is Mayor. Technically it's my middle name.” she smiled.
“Is your first name Madame?” Robert asked with a smile. The Mayor looked around wild-eyed.
[How did you know that?] She whispered into Robert's ear.
“Wild guess.” he replied with a wink. "So, I take it you've been on the job for a while now?”
“Most of my adulthood.” the mayor answered, ears flicking for the sound of the train. "I was elected just out of school and I've been at it ever since. I'd just completed my civil engineering degree and saw the sign ups for the election. I got the foolish notion to give it a shot and then move on once I lost. I'm still waiting to lose.” she chuckled.
“Train's running a little behind. Another quarter of an hour.” Robert said, ears twitching. "Doesn't seem to be a terribly difficult job, at least on the surface. I presume there's a dark under belly, wallpapered with meaningless and petty requests, requisitions and pointless legislation?”
“Do you live inside my head?” the mayor asked with a sideways grin.
“No, but that's how my father always described his job. I left out some of the colorful descriptors he added.” Robert laughed. "My mother always chided him on his language.”
“Sounds like a powerful mare... tiger. Ette?”
“Tigress.” Robert supplied. "She is perhaps the most dangerous member of my tribe. Even ahead of my father.” he smiled. "I think she would like you.”
“Really?” the mayor asked. "Why?”
“You control this town, dictate it's laws and ordinances, and yet, no one has a bad word about you. Even my father is disliked or outright hated by some. The price of leadership. That's what he called it. It used to distress me greatly.” he paused, and looked sidelong at her. "Yet, even those who professed hatred of him followed him into battle without hesitation. Once I saw one throw himself beneath the blows of an enemy to save my father. A Tiger who twice had challenged and twice failed to take the throne. Who hated him with such venom, and yet he lay down his own life for my father. I wonder what inspires such love and faith in you.”
“I do not know.” the mayor looked away, tears in her eyes. "I really do not know.” Further conversation was halted by the train arriving in the station. Many ponies began to move towards the embarkation points, even as others disembarked from the opposite ends. Robert and the mayor moved through the throngs unimpeded, some bearing wide around the mayor, others bearing wide out of instinctive fear.
Twilight and her friends were surprised to be greeted at the station, though entirely. Twilight knew the mayor wanted to talk to her, thought not what about. Robert was a surprise. As far as she knew, he was supposed to be working with Zecora.
“Hello Mayor, Robert. Nice to see you. What can I do for you?”
“I came to see you all back, and ask you a few things. But I'll let you talk to the Mayor first.” Robert said, and wandered over to talk to Rarity.
“He's quite the interesting character.” the mayor said, watching him for a moment. "I was wondering about the Equestria Games. I noticed that the only team we don't have filled out is the Relay Race. I know Rainbow Dash has signed up, but she can't run the race all on her own.” the mayor looked at the Pegasus who was enthusiastically explaining how awesome Hinny of the Hills was. She succeeded in jamming one hoof into Applejack's ear and another into Robert's eye. Neither of these was much of a problem, until she stepped on Rarities tail. Rarity was attempting to walk forward, tripped and bounced her head on the platform. She turned around. Rainbow was still absorbed in her tale and didn't see Rarity turn around.
She did see her lunge with a noise like Opal, hooves stretched out. Rainbow simply moved back a half length of body, causing Rarity to shoot past and plow into AJ. The two went down in a tangle of hooves, horn and hat. Rarity came to her hooves, now wearing AJ's hat, and even angrier than before. She lunged forward. Rather, she tried. AJ grabbed her rear hooves, which brought her to the ground. Her momentum was not to be denied however, and she rolled forward, dragging AJ along with her. Rainbow's story reached a crescendo and she rose into the air for a moment as the two ponies rolled beneath her, crashing into the back of a bemused and perplexed Pinkie Pie. The group of them went down in a heap, with an offended squawking and startled honk of a horn. For one reason or another, a small wheel rolled out of the pile. There were now two ponies angry at Rainbow, and Pinkie had reached a state of confusion as to what was taking place.
“I don't know who else we can get. I mean, most of the Pegasi are busy with other events, so they're not allowed to compete. I know Fluttershy and Derpy aren't competing yet. Maybe they're interested.” Twilight said, oblivious to the scene behind her, and the destruction that was commencing.
“I have a list of the few of other pegasi who are participating, and those who do not yet have an event.” the mayor tugged it out of her bag. "This should help her make a decision.”
“Thank you, I'll...” Twilight disappeared into the ball of violence that had erupted behind her. Rarity and Applejack had both lunged for Rainbow. While Rarity was genuinely irritated, AJ simply wanted her hat back. And Pinkie... well, she was a joiner. Thus three ponies plowed into Rainbow Dash just as she landed at the climax of her tale. The ensuing Melee ended in a number of bruises, and after a few moments some laughter, and for some reason, Robert wearing the hat, even though he'd backed up several steps from the fighting. Applejack stood up and walked over. Robert reached up, tipped the hat, and flipped it into the air. Applejack jumped and caught it on her head, landing just before him. She bowed.
“Rainbow Dash?” Twilight's voice came from the bottom of the pile.
“Yeah Twilight?”
“Do you think you could disentangle your wing from mine?” Twilight asked, slightly pained.
“Is that yours?” Rainbow asked. She stood up, and then so did Twilight, finding their wings tangled not with one another, but with Fluttershy, who was both apologetic and confused as to how she'd ended up there. Pinkie was completely missing though a moment's inspection found her standing on the overhang of the train station, still wearing her commentators headset.
“And it's over.” Pinkie said, and tossed the set off. The three winged ponies separated themselves. Rainbow sighed.
“I just preened those.” she grumbled. “At least none of the primaries broke.” she moved off, wings up in the air to avoid breaking anything before she could disentangle them. Twilight had the same experience, though she didn't have to do it the hard way. Telekinesis spread down the length and breadth of her wings, arranging the feathers in precise order. Fluttershy just spread her footing and shook and somehow, everything fell back into place, or near enough that she only spent a moment fixing the ones that hadn't.
“See you later Twilight, I better go before Angel drives the pet sitter crazy.” Fluttershy said and started to walk off.
“Fluttershy, hang on a moment.” Twilight said, and looked at the mayor, who had watched events with a bemused look. "I'll talk to all the ponies on the list.” The mayor nodded, and Twilight turned back to Fluttershy. "So, about the Equestria games...”
Chapter 16
Zecora muttered something in Zebra. Robert didn't quite catch it. The dialect was from farther north than he was familiar with, but he got the gist of it. They had moved the cauldron, and some ingredients out into the woods. “We will get this right, if we must stay here all day and all night.”
“I hope we're not here that long.” Twilight said. She'd come along to check the math. It all checked out.
“We'll be here as long as it takes. Because them's the breaks.” Zecora answered, a might testily.
“Ugh.” Robert said. "Look, Twilight says your math checks out, and all the ingredients are fresh, so can we give it a shot before I start to mold.” he shook his head.
“Yes, fine. Just get to it, and cease to whine.” Zecora replied. Robert tossed in the ingredients. The explosion was really quite well contained. Twilight shielded the cauldron just in time. The fact that she only shielded the side she and Zecora were standing on was really a shame. Robert was stuck to a tree across the clearing. It hadn't actually been a clearing until the aftermath of the explosion. His wings were spread out to either side of the tree, in a pose that would have been hilarious if not for the pained expression on his face.
“I just do not understand it. All the calculations are correct, and yet every time we try, we have a mess that's just out of hand.” she considered the expression, and decided the rhyme was hard enough to be let stand.
“Umm...” Robert had managed to unstick himself from the tree. "I have a slight problem here.”
“Which is?” Twilight asked.
“These are stuck.” he flapped his wings gently. Then grunted in pain. “And now they're... damaged.”
“They just need a preening. And what do you mean, stuck?” Twilight asked, a suspicion in her mind.
“Just that. I can't make them go away. For that matter, I can't do any magic just at the moment.”
“Uh-oh.” Zecora said from the pile of ingredients. "The reason for this I do know.”
“Do tell. Robert said, struggling to keep himself calm.
“It seems that in our haste, we did not discover that we drug along not powder, but paste.”
“Paste of what?” Twilight asked.
“Paste of the Thaumus Orchidae.” Twilight's eye twitched. "I guess the jar was mislabeled.”
“Or the powder got wet.” Twilight said, lifting up the jar and examining it. "It's cracked.” For a moment, Zecora turned red and black. "So what does this mean?”
“It means, he is stuck like this until I find some fresh Thaumus Orchidae”. Zecora replied. "Unfortunately, it only grows in the Froggy Bottom Bog and only in late autumn.” Robert said something in a language neither of them recognized.
“That's four months away. Lovely.” he took a deep breath. "Meaning I'm stuck with these for that long, unless you know an alternate method of removing them.”
“It is possible that the effects will wear off in time.” Twilight offered. "Perhaps you might learn to fly?”
“I... look. The reason I learned to do the wings? I'm afraid of heights. Have been for years.” he shook his head. "I don't want to learn to fly, because it's way up there in the sky.” he waved a wing. Then winced. "I'm going to use an expletive. Cover your ears.” They did, just in time. A flock of birds exploded out of the trees and winged away from them.
“Look, you should learn to conquer your fears.” Twilight said.
“Yes, a good shaman must know his fears, if he is to help others over come theirs.” Zecora said. Robert sighed.
“Yes Teacher dear, I suspect you are right. This does not mean that I like the idea.” he winced. "I suppose, if I am stuck with theses for the time being, I should learn to take care of them.”
“Why haven't you before?” Twilight inquired.
“Simply put, unlike a Pegasus or Alicorn, I am normally not required to have them all the time. Each time I form them they appear in perfect condition. When I get them damaged, I simply reform them. Thus I have had no need to work out just how to keep them pristine.” he sighed. "It seems that the universe has caught on to my little trick and decided to teach me a lesson.”
“Do you really believe that?” Twilight asked.
“I prefer that to the alternatives. I can fight the universe. Sheer bad luck and coincidence take a lot more effort to deal with.” Robert shrugged. Twilight stared at him, but saw in his eyes that it wasn't a boast. He honestly believed that. She decided to let it go.
“Well. Umm... stand still a moment.” he nodded. Her horn glowed a bright purple and light washed over him. "That's interesting.”
“What?” he asked.
“Those tendons the points of connection for the flight muscles?”
“Yes?”
“They're different than what you showed me. They're wrapped to the bone, connecting both the flight muscles and the shoulder muscles. It's a very ingenious solution.” she looked at him expectantly.
“It is. I only wish I'd thought of it.”
“You didn't do that on purpose?”
“No, I didn't even intend to have wings. I just found myself with them after the blast.” he considered it. "I don't suppose this was a wild surge.”
“That would explain it. And...” Twilight spun back to the book of calculations. “Ah ha. For some reason this potion is triggering a wild surge every time you try to brew it. I suspect you're allergic to one of the ingredients.”
“I guess we'll have to figure out which one then, won't we?”
“Yes, otherwise you'll have the same reaction to any potion with that ingredient.”
“Perhaps we should have someone teach him to deal with his wings, before we put him inside where he might break things.” Zecora said, peering out from beneath his disheveled plumage.
“Umm... good idea.” Twilight said.
---
Fluttershy squee'd with such force that Rarities fainting couch appeared on it's own for her to fall upon. Twilight glanced surreptitiously around for either Rarity or Pinkie, but neither was to be found. An eyebrow twitch caused her Twily sense to tell her to just roll with it, which she did.
“You don't have to be quite that excited.” Robert offered. Fluttershy squeaked. "But I am glad you are.”
“Sorry. I just don't get to teach things like that very often. Most ponies want Rainbow to teach them for some reason.” Twilight flushed and coughed loudly.
“Sorry.” she said almost inaudibly.
“Oh, I didn't mean you, I mean I thought Celestia...” Fluttershy also turned bright red.
“You know, the best part about being orange is that it's almost impossible to tell when I'm blushing.” Robert interjected. The picture that stuck in the minds of the two mares was enough to send them into giggles, breaking the cycle of blushing. It turned into full blown laughter after a moment. 'Patience.' That was the word his father had always told him was key to dealing with any flavor of female. 'Be patient and they would either forgive you or kill you. And either way you were done with the problem.'
Patience paid off when he found himself being led to the couch. It was, quite frankly, rather larger than he had expected, but also occupied by a very angry rabbit.
“Angel, Robert needs the couch.” the rabbit held it's ground. It was not about to give up it's spot. Fluttershy leaned close, catching it in the light from her eyes. “Angel. Move.” The rabbit was in motion before it realized what it was doing. Hundreds of years of instinctive motions failed it as it's higher functions tried to take over and instead it face planted on the ground. Robert held his tongue. Laughter would not be appreciated.
“Oh Angel.” Fluttershy picked the rabbit up and as tough as he was, he melted in her hooves. Robert couldn't contain a snicker. And then he learned the real meaning of the term rabbit punch. For the second time that day he lost several minutes to blissful unconsciousness. He awoke to a new stripe, though not a permanent one. This one went all the way around his eye.
“Wow, little guy packs quite the whallop.” he managed.
“I'm so sorry, Angel isn't normally like that.” Fluttershy said.
“It's okay, he's just defending his territory.” Robert said. “And his man... buckhood.” he chuckled. “A totally understandable thing amongst males and I suspect, wholly incomprehensible otherwise.” Fluttershy nodded. "I suppose Twilight had something else to do?”
“Oh, yes. The Star Swirl the Bearded exhibit is coming to town soon, and she wanted to make sure everything was ready for them. You're not uncomfortable with it being just me are you?”
“Not at all. I'd prefer it.” he coughed. "I'm not unaware of how sensitive these things are. he twitched his wing and winced.” It wasn't just the feathers he'd discovered, he had a couple of brilliant bruises on the left side, presumably from knots on the tree. And they stung, particularly when he moved them. Worse when the feathers were caught up in the mix, some pulling and some being pushed.
“Oh, right. Let's get that fixed up. You've really never done this before?” he shook his head, and explained. "How very convenient.” From anypony else, Robert would have expected that comment to be acidic. From Fluttershy, it was wistful.
“It's proving less so, now that I can't.”
“Yes. Very well, we start like this.” she showed him the procedure. The only problem occurred when she had to pull a broken feather. Robert bit through the arm of her couch. "I'm sorry.”
“It's okay, it just hurt. A lot.” he took a breath. "Sorry about the couch.”
“Don't worry. I have a friend who's great at fixing things like that.” Fluttershy smiled. "I'll just ask him to repair it. I'm sure he won't mind.”
“If you're sure.” Robert said.
“I am. Would you like to try the other wing?” she asked.
“As long as you watch to make sure I do it right, I have to learn to do it sometime.” he climbed off the couch, then turned around and lay back down. Of course, getting to the wing required some contortions. Fluttershy did an admirable job of not laughing. And an equally good job of instructing. Fortunately this wing contained no bad feathers. When it was over, he folded the wing in.
“Very good.” Fluttershy said and patted him on the head. He decided against saying anything. "Would you like some tea?” she asked.
“That would be lovely.”
---
Derpy laughed. Robert sighed. “Oh come on, it's funny.”
“I suppose. Look, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with wings, but I'm afraid of heights.” he shook his head. "Twilight thinks I should learn to fly and Zecora thinks I should get over my fear of heights.”
“I think they're both right.” Derpy said. "Look, you can't be afraid of them all the time.”
“What do you mean?” he asked, taking a bite from the pile of cookies before him.
“You said, you flew Zecora back to her house.” she said. He'd told her about it after the prank delivery.
“Yeah, but I was just gliding and I knew we weren't going to die.” he replied.
“And the moment when you didn't have enough lift and dropped like a stone?”
“I just needed more power. I had to save her as much as myself.” he shrugged.
“So you weren't scared?”
“I was terrified beyond belief. Always am when I take to the air.” memory flashed, and he shook his head.
“What did it?” Derpy asked.
“Did what?” he asked, taking another bite of his lunch.
“Scared you that badly.”
“The cliffs.” he closed his eyes. "My tribe lives a top a set of black rock cliffs. When I was no more than two summers old, I was walking along the cliff side with my father. It was a sunny, warm day early in the spring. I'm not sure where my mother was, I might have known but I've forgotten. Anyway, I was walking with my father and we reached the edge of the escarpment, I stepped close to see what it looked like and I stepped on a patch of gravel. I went over the edge. It's not a small cliff, and I don't know if I would have survived. Dad came over the side after me, wrapped himself around me and cushioned my fall. Next thing I remember is waking up at the base of the cliff, my father with broken ribs and a broken leg, because he'd saved me.” he opened his eyes.
“That scared you?” Derpy asked. It wasn't disbelief in her voice, but a question.
“It didn't then. And later when I realized it, it wasn't the fall. It was what it did to my father, my big, strong father who'd always been invincible to me. I eventually realized what had happened, and then it just hit me. The worst part is that as insane as it seems, I talked myself into it, and now, I can't manage to talk myself out of it.” he shook his head.
“Alright, I admit I wasn't expecting that.” she bit into a muffin. "Most ponies really can't point to just one thing and say 'this was it'.”
“Like I said, I ended up talking myself into it. If I'd just left it alone, I'd have been fine, but...” he shrugged.
“Well, you're in luck anyway. I happen to know just the answer to your problem.” she smiled brightly at him.
“I hope you're not planning to throw me off a high place.” he said.
“Not at all.” she answered, mentally changing the ordering of her plans. "I want you to come have a talk with someone.”
Chapter 17
“So, a self-induced fear of heights. How interesting.” the unicorn stallion speaking was a bit of an odd specimen, with an ash gray coat, frizzy white mane, and painfully blue tail curled almost like Pinkie's. His cutie mark was his own head, with a large bump on it and a hammer behind it.
When asked, he'd explained that his destiny was to be a retro phrenologist, but it seemed that Celestia had banned the practice due to a loophole in the law for assaults. So he'd dove into other branches of Psychology instead.
“So, can you do anything for me?” Robert asked. Derpy had introduced him and they'd set up an appointment before she left for the Equestria games preliminaries.
“Maybe. There always ways to overcome things. However, I am unsure if the root cause is what you believe it to be.” the stallion reached into a desk and pulled a pad and pencil. "I'd like to delve into your mind and see what we find. With permission of course.”
“Alright, let's do it. I want to get this over and done with.” Robert sighed. "Look, Doctor Rawhide, are you sure this is necessary?”
“It is if you want to be sure to get over the problem. I'm not promising it will be an instant cure and I'm pretty sure it won't be. However, if we don't have the true root of the problem, we'd just be patching a hole. Closing a screen door in our submarine so to speak.” the stallion smiled, proud of his analogy.
“What's a submarine?” Robert asked. The doctor deflated.
“Never mind. Nurse?” he called out the door.
“Yes?” the white coated, white maned earth pony mare asked.
“Could you fetch Doctor Carter?” he asked. She nodded and disappeared. A second unicorn appeared, this one in a white lab coat with a brown mane and pale blue coat. "Looks like I have a candidate for the delving spell. Are you free to supervise?”
“Absolutely.” Robert raised an eyebrow. "Standard safety procedure. It can be difficult to break the connection from within the mind, so a second unicorn monitors the link and can disconnect the spell safely.”
“Well then, I suppose we should get started.” Robert nodded. Rawhide sat down and drew power into his horn.
“Here we go.”
---
Robert sighed as he trotted out of the hospital. He was assured the two Unicorns would recover in time. He was pretty sure they hadn't done much for his fear problem. On the other hand, he was pretty sure the memory they'd run into would give them something to discuss with their own psychologists.
A winged tiger trotting through town was not a usual sight, but it also wasn't sufficiently remarkable to garner more than a passing glance. Except for one pony.
“Hey Robert.” Scootaloo wheeled up beside him, keeping pace easily. "What's up?”
“Heading home from the hospital.” he answered, mind still on other things.
“You sick or something?” she asked.
“No, visiting a head doctor.” he answered.
“So...”
“So what?” he asked, coming to a stop. The orange pegasus buzzed past him, then leaned and backed expertly up beside him.
“Can you fly?”
“No.” he answered. There was nothing else to say.
“Why?” she asked. He took a deep breath.
“Don't know how.” he replied.
“It's easy, just flap your wings.” she said.
“If it's so easy, you first.” he said.
“I can't. she replied. All I can do is float a little bit.”
“Show me.” she raised an eyebrow. "Okay, but only if you promise not to laugh.”
“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” the scream at the end when he hit himself was all but part of the promise now.
“Okay.” She stepped off her scooter, started to reach for her helmet strap, then decided against it. Her wings stretched out, as far as they would go, then started moving. Faster and faster, she lifted off the ground, slowly, slowly, then stopped, wings buzzing blisteringly fast, but not generating any more lift. Robert reached out and stuck a paw under her. There was a lot of air there, yet she wasn't flying at all. She landed, exhausted from her efforts. "Your turn.” she managed after a moment, even if she was still panting.
“Alright, here I go.” He moved a few steps back, spread his wings, and beat them down wards. The motion propelled him a few feet into the air, the second beat picking him higher still. He was not graceful and the moment he tried to do anything other than move upward, he lost control. He landed face first in the pond. Scootaloo was torn between horror and laughter. Seeing the enormous wet Tiger pull himself out of the water was enough to send her into hysterics. He walked carefully over to her, and then shook the water off himself, soaking her. This only served to heighten her laughter.
“You look...” laughter took her over before she could finish. "That was funny.”
“I am glad to have amused you.” he said solemnly. “As you see, I have little more luck than you.”
“Yeah, but you got a lot higher.” she pointed out, soberly.
“True, but I have a lot more wing and muscle.” he replied. "Besides, you've still got time to grow into them.”
“Yeah, but... what if they stay like this forever?”
“I doubt very highly that they will. But, if they do, then look to the rest of yourself for strength.” he shrugged.
“What?” she gave him a look of confusion.
“Look, you know that one pegasus, white coat, blonde, muscles everywhere?”
“Bulk Biceps?” she asked.
“Yeah. Have you seen the wings on him?”
“Well, yeah, I guess.”
“Not much bigger than yours, but he flies well enough.” Robert said. "I'd be willing to bet all the time he spends working on his muscles are what keeps him in the air.”
“So you're saying I should work out?”
“Not necessarily. I'm just saying that even if your wings don't grow, you can still fly if you put in the effort.” Robert replied. "Then again, I'm betting your wings will hit a growth spurt when you do. Next thing you know, you'll be a Wonderbolt or weather pony like no other.”
“You really think so?” she asked.
“I know so. I also promise not to tell some sappy story about finding yourself.”
“THANK you.” she laughed. "I don't think I could take another one of those.”
“Me either. I always hated those.”
“You got them too?” she asked.
“Did you notice I've been slowly gaining stripes as I've been living here?”
“I hadn't but now that you mention it...” she hesitated, unsure exactly what he was getting at.
“Well, tigers get stripes the way ponies get cutie marks. I didn't get mine until I came here. My family and friends all had them for years, and I got a little teasing about it. Turned out I wasn't meant to get them in the same way as the others. I had to find out who I was meant to be, and then earn it.”
“You think that's not sappy?” she asked, grinning.
“Well, considering I figured it out after besting two of my three brothers and my sister in one big fight to see who would end up heir, I think it's about as not sappy as you can get.” he shrugged. "If that's too sappy for you, I'm not sure how I could spice it up.”
“No, that sounds pretty awesome.” she admitted. "Well, maybe not the fighting. I mean, why would you fight your own family?” she asked, slightly concerned.
“Tiger tradition is that only the strongest get to lead. My father is leader of my tribe, so my brothers and sister and I are all in line to be leader of the tribe when he steps down. Since you can only have one leader, we fight to see who is the heir. Who becomes leader when he leaves. My eldest brother won. So he's the one who will take over.” he answered, leaving a few choice bits out so as not to have to explain them.
“We just have Princess Celestia, and the others I guess.” Scootaloo said.
“True, but do you know a stronger pony than Celestia?”
“No. Rainbow is more awesome, and Twilight is more magical...” she paused.
“So?”
“So, I guess Celestia is all of those things, just not as much of them.” Scootaloo suggested.
“The whole is greater than the sum of it's parts.” Robert offered. "She might not be the greatest at each thing, but she is good at so many that it makes up for any lack.”
“I didn't think about it like that.” the pegasus considered it.
“Also remember that she has had centuries to practice.” the look on the pegasus faltered for a moment.
“I see your point.” she nodded. "I guess I'd have to be an alicorn for that to work?”
“I presume so, but truth be told, I've never really looked into the matter.” he answered her. "I mean, immortality must take some doing if to date the only three beings ever to achieve it are Celestia, Luna and Discord. Although, I'm not entirely sure if the same rules apply to Discord. Indeed, it might be fair to say that since time doesn't apply to him, he can't be mortal and thus can't be immortal. Or couldn't have not been mortal.”
“Umm... isn't this something you should discuss with Twilight? I know she likes those long-winded overly complicated explanations.”
“Oh, yes, I suppose you're right.” he considered it. "Of course, I do have you here now, while she's off doing her official thing. And I'm thinking about it, so best to continue the line of thought.” he saw the look on her face and laughed. "Gotcha. I have yet to fail to get a reaction. They think I'm just going to keep talking and talking until some horrible event happens to distract me.”
“Everyone's used to Twilight, because that's what she does. She either talks until a disaster happens, or until she creates one.” Scootaloo chuckled.
“I see. Perhaps you can answer me a question.”
“Really? About what?” she perked up at the opportunity to answer something.
“The weather. If the weather team is all competing in the Equestria Games, who's running the weather here?”
“Well, not all the teams will qualify, and only a few of them compete each day. So the teams not competing will be here all but the day before and after. And not all of them are actually weather pegasi. This will be like tornado day, when all the pegasi who can fly will be called to weather duty.” she explained.
“Tornado day?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Rainbow Dash got Cloudsdale to pick the Ponyville reservoir to draw water from for this year's weather cycle. All the pegasi who could fly got together and made a huge tornado to suck the water up and dump it into the weather factory. She wanted to set a record, but a bunch of ponies came down with feather flu and couldn't make it.” she shuddered. "They barely made it the second time after Fluttershy helped.”
“Is there some reason the water wouldn't just evaporate and rise into the clouds on it's own?”
“Yes.” this was technically a secret, though not a very well kept one. "Umm... clouds shaped by pegasi need a specific... wetness.” the word humidity escaped her. “Cloudsdale is a big city and too much water in the wrong place would cause it to break apart. And that would be really bad.”
“Ah, I see. And the Feather Flu?”
“Oh. That's a bad pegasi disease. It causes your feathers to fall out. Like molting, but not at the right time. And if it doesn't go right, it's ugly. Really ugly. Most pegasi end up in the hospital.” she shuddered again, wings twitching this time.
“Okay. Hey, I seem to be mostly dry. Why don't we go see if they have anything special for two hard working fliers at Sugarcube corner.” Robert offered. Scootaloo grinned.
“Race ya.” she said and disappeared on her scooter. She bulleted through town, ducking and dodging traffic from carts and pedestrians alike. Most of the citizens barely noticed any more, unless she crashed, which was less and less frequent. She rounded the corner and stopped in front of the sweet shop. "Hah I...”
Robert trotted around the corner behind her. “Win.”
“How did you get here so quick?” she asked. She had won, and she wasn't going to let that go, but...
“I can't fly. But I've been gliding for years.” he grinned. She laughed. "Of course, as the rules go, loser buys.”
“You're going to regret losing.” she rubbed her forehooves together.
Chapter 18
The party for the Ponyville relay team qualifying was even by the tremendously high standards of Ponyville one to remember. Or forget, if you'd had enough of the sweet apple acres hard cider. Robert had one mug and that was quite enough for him. It wasn't that he didn't like it, but he knew well enough that being drunk was not going to end well in the slightest. The fact that only one mug of hard cider hadn't ended well was somewhat disconcerting.
The trees at Sweet Apple Acres are not the most comfortable places to sleep, aside from certain pegasi, and even those only do that during the day for short naps, not all night affairs. Considering upon waking he was less than an inch from the bark, separated only by the length of his eye brows from the trunk, Robert was fairly certain he had not ended up sleeping in the tree on purpose. As consciousness returned to him, and awareness came with it, he noted that he was in a particularly precarious position, legs spread across a forked branch, face planted into the crook of a limb. His wings, as far as he could tell, were in acceptable shape.
They were until he fell out of the tree. An even precipitated by “Hey, what're ya'll doin' in mah tree?” Robert jumped and fell off the branch, rolling around and landing on his back.
“Augh.” was Robert's articulate response. He twitched on the ground, rubbing his head. "Please, not this early in the morning.”
“It's almost noon.” Applejack said.
“Please, not this late in the morning.” he groaned as he pushed or attempted to push himself up into a sitting position.
“Ah didn't know you were such a lightweight.” Applejack said, trotting up and giving him a shoulder to help him up.
“I'm not. Not usually. So either I'm not as tolerant as I thought, or there's more kick in that cider of yours than I figured.”
“Well, that was our family special reserve.” she said, shrugging.
“That different from what we had at the picnic?” he asked.
“Yeah, Reserve is just aged cider, Special Reserve is aged hard cider. Special Reserve's got alcohol in it, and it's been sitting and stewing for two years.”
“Ah. I see. Excuse me.” he leaned the opposite direction and emptied his stomach. He pointedly ignored the umbrella amidst the debris. "Sorry.”
“Don't worry, it's good for the trees. Probably.” Applejack shrugged. "You need help getting... wherever?” she asked.
“No thank you. I appear to be quite sober, simply incredibly hung over.” he pushed himself up to his feet. "Though if you can make the world stand still for a moment, I'll be happy to wait.” then he fell over sideways.
“You should probably come along to the house. Granny's got a fantastic remedy for hangovers.”
“Lead the way, I shall follow in due time.” Robert said and began crawling after her. It was, Applejack decided, really rather hilarious, though she contained her laughter. She'd had one too many on occasion and laughter was definitely not the best medicine in these cases. In these cases, it often meant the laugher would require painkillers after they were caught by the laughee.
“Follow me.” she lead him back the house, and directed him to a rain barrel behind the house. She had intended for him to wash his face, but he stuck his head in the barrel. He was under for a distressingly long time, but just as she was about to do something, he surfaced. She couldn't contain her laughter this time.
“Yes, hilarious.” He shook his head, spreading water across the barnyard. "You said there was a hangover cure awaiting me?”
“That was pretty much it.” she said, still laughing. "She usually gives us a lecture about drinking too much. I don't know if I remember it though.”
“I did not drink too much. I had one mug. And not even a full one. I was trying to avoid getting drunk.” he splashed some more water on his face. "I hate trying to get the smell out of my fur.”
“That we've got an actual cure for.” Applejack grinned. She lead him inside, and settled him down at the kitchen table. Granny Smith sniffed the air.
“Someone been drinkin'?” she asked. Big Mac shook his head. Robert raised a paw.
“I had one mug of hard cider. And I woke up in an apple tree.” he sighed. “And I was trying to avoid getting drunk. Bad things happen when I get drunk.”
“That would have been my fault young 'un. Granny admitted. Everyone stared at her. "That barrel done got mis-labeled.”
“Granny, does that mean?”
“Yep. That was a barrel of Zap Apple Cider.” Applejack's eyes rolled into her head, and she toppled out of her chair.
“What's so special about it?” Robert asked, a confused look on his face.
“Zap apples are special. They only grow when conditions is right. We had us harvest not too long ago and I put up a barrel of them apples as cider. It ain't much different from regular cider when you first taste it. But it's got a mighty potent kick to it as an aftertaste.” she gave him a grin. "One mug is like ten o' regular cider.”
“I see.” Robert said, and squinted, to see if she was pulling a fast one on him. Her eyes said that she was not. "Good thing I only had one then.”
“Ugh, did Granny Smith really say what I think she said?” Applejack asked, putting her head on the table.
“Eeyup.” four voices answered in unison.
“I thought so.” the orange head vanished, followed by a thud.
“Don't worry, she'll be fine. Now, who's ready for some Potato Pancakes?”
---
Twilight groaned and rolled out of bed. As much as she loved Celestia, there were days when her sun was a complete pain in the neck. This morning was one of them. She'd had a few mugs of cider, but it had never hit her like this. She moaned in pain as the sun hit her eyes.
“Morning Twilight!” Spike said cheerfully.
[Ugh.] Twilight responded and flung a pillow at him. [Quiet.]
“What's the matter?” Spike asked.
[Too much cider.] Twilight replied, putting a pillow over her face.
“Why, I had twice as much and I feel fine.” Spike shrugged. "Maybe you should cut back some.”
“I don't have the metabolism of a dragon.” Twilight said. "Start the shower and I'll be there shortly.”
“Sure Twilight.” Spike shook his head and left, closing the door quietly. The click of the door against the frame was enough to set her teeth on edge, when she found it normally comforting. Her horn instantly flared up and she fought hard to quench it. This was why she didn't normally drink at all. Technically powerful unicorns weren't supposed drink at all, but Twilight was aware she could drink one mug without being too intoxicated to remain in control. The problem she realized on reflection, was that she had thought she was drinking plain cider. She made, or attempted to make a mental note to ask Applejack about the stuff. Instead she settled for asking Spike to remember.
“Sure Twilight. Are you sure you're alright?” Spike asked.
“No, but I'll be a lot better after my shower.”
“Okay, I'll start breakfast.”
“Don't bother for me. I don't think I can keep anything down.” Twilight said, the very thought of food making her nauseous. She entered the bathroom and stepped into the shower. The water was temperate and just the way she liked it. She reached out with her magic and turned the hot water off. The initial blast of ice cold water was inexplicably painful, but after a moment it did it's job and focused her mind. She turned the hot water back up and let it relax her muscles. Finished, she stepped out and shook herself vigorously. It didn't get her completely dry, and did nothing for her wings. She did have one spell up her sleeve, but she wasn't entirely sure she was up to casting it. After a moment's consideration, she decided it was worth the effort to try, rather than have wet wings. She reached out behind her and turned the cold water on, just in case. It turned out to be completely unnecessary though, as her spell turned the water on her wings and coat to a fine steamy vapor. The second stage collected it all and dropped it in the shower, letting it wash down the drain. The last thing she wanted was to have her house start to rot.
Down stairs, Spike was crunching his way through a gem flavored cereal. She never had figured out how he was able to tell the difference between the various gem flavors, and he didn't seem to know how to explain either. Still, he said they were delicious. She dug into the fridge, and extracted a box of carrots. They weren't quite stale but they were close. Fortunately, she wasn't in the mood for anything with too much flavor, or it might remind her she was eating and she didn't want that. No matter how colorful carrot vomit was.
---
Fluttershy was essentially the only sober pony in town, simply because she hadn't had anything. It wasn't as though she never drank. But she hadn't last night, it wasn't that she didn't want any, but every time she'd headed that way, something had interrupted her. So she'd spent the entire party sober. Eventually she'd left after the music started getting to her. She'd enjoyed the party, but after the stress of the race and the train ride back, she'd been exhausted. Angel had waited up to hear the good news. She'd fallen straight into her bed and gone to sleep right away.
“Good morning.” She said, quietly, waking only Angel who was asleep on her head. He jumped off and bumped his nose against hers. "That tickles.” she giggled.
Several other furry critters appeared from under the blankets as she set about getting up and feeding the various animals she took care of. It was a simple morning routine, one which calmed her, something she did every day at the same time. No matter what her dreams had contained, feeding in the morning always calmed her, and steadied her nerves.
---
Rainbow Dash had more than just a few mugs. She always drank hard when she did, but she'd thought she was drinking plain cider. The fact that there appeared to be three Tank's hovering in the air caused her to believe she had been lied to about the cider. “Mornin' Tan.. tak.. Tank.”
“I thin' I drun' too mush.” she managed after a moment. "Shoop... lion. Beer. Oh my.” she managed to fly just straight enough to reach the bathroom in time. Tank hovered over to the door cloud. “Ah'm 'kay.”
The sounds that followed suggested to Tank that she most certainly was not. However, he decided not to think too hard about it. Instead, he hovered through the house, down to the lower floor and dug into the cabinets. He wasn't particularly speedy, but he was smart. When Rainbow was feeling like this, there was only one thing she wanted to eat. Oat loops, dry in a bowl with a glass of orange juice. He set the bowl on the tray, poured the cereal and then set a glass under the tap on the orange juice pitcher. He twisted the knob and then set the glass on the tray. Dash came out of the bathroom, to find Tank setting the tray on the bed.
“Than's li'l guy.” Dash said, and fell forward into the bowl. She munched it down, then drank the Orange Juice. "Ugh. I feel like I've been run over. By a Pinkie shaped sledgehammer.” she paused. "Steamroller. Yeah, that's the one.”
---
“Argh.” Rarity managed.
“Urgh.” Pinkie replied. Rarity paused, and replayed the moment in her mind.
“AIIEE!”
“AIEEE!”
“What happened last night?” Rarity demanded, jerking the sheets up.
“I don't know!” Pinkie replied, jerking the sheets back the other way.
“I don't remember.” the sheets popped back.
“Me neither.” shift
“Stop stealing my sheets.” jerk.
“Why are you covering up?” yank.
“I don't know!” pull.
RIP. The two ponies fell off each side of the bed, crashing into the ground.
“Ow.”
The door to Rarity's room popped open, and Sweetie Belle burst in, looking around. “What's going on?” she asked.
“Nothing at all Sweetie Belle.” Rarity said. "We just had an unplanned sleepover and didn't remember it.”
“Ah, so you don't remember coming home last night?” the filly asked. "Or the song?”
Rarity's eyes bugged out. “What song?”
“The one about the hedgehog?” Sweetie asked. Rarity fainted. "What? I thought it was cute. I'd never heard of a hedgehog named Sonic before.” Pinkie laughed.
---
Lyra pushed herself up into a sitting position. She was covered in confetti and glitter. Bon-bon was on her back spread across one of the tables in the town hall. Cloudkicker was suspended by her tail from the ceiling fan, lazily spinning around the center. Cloudchaser and Flitter were passed out under another table, and Thunderlane had his head propped over a bucket, while Blossomforth tried to untie the streamers from around his wings. The only indication that Roseluck hadn't gone home, was one leg bearing a cutie mark, sticking out from under a blanket, or possibly a tablecloth being used as one, near the stage. The mayor was up on the stage itself, cravat hanging jauntily off one ear as she snored loud enough to rattle the windows.
Lyra struggled to sit upright, and failed. She looked back and found Derpy passed out on top of her. Her tail was likewise pinned beneath Bulk Biceps, who was also snoring, though nowhere near so badly as the Mayor. It had been one of the wildest parties she'd been to in quite some time. Yet, she suspected it wouldn't take forever before the town recovered from the after effects. Several half-conscious ponies, including Bon-bon threw things as the door creaked open to admit Mrs. Cake, who had come looking for the tables which were being used by the various ponies.
“Oh dear.” she managed after several long moments. "I'll be back with some coffee.” Lyra smiled as she left. Mrs. Cake always knew what to do after parties like this. It was why she'd been the one to take in Pinkie to start with. True to her word she returned shortly with that life giving elixir and her husband in tow. She helped Lyra up by waving a muffin in Derpy's face and leading the still sleeping Pegasus to a table. Derpy didn't even wake as she munched. Mr. Cake gave a shove and Bulk Biceps rolled over, and off Lyra's tail. She stood and put a leg around each of their shoulders, hugging them in thanks. Then she trotted over to a much abused potted plant and emptied her stomach. That sound was enough to rouse several of the other ponies, except Roseluck and the mayor. The former moved only enough to pull her leg in, and the tablecloth over her head. The mayor appeared to be unrousable shy of some physical intervention. Mr. Cake hauled a water pail towards the stage, stopping and watching the ripples as each snore echoed through the building, with the interest of an enthusiast. The tipping of the bucket was met with great apprehension by those present and conscious and not currently evacuating themselves. The mayor did a passable impression of a surprised Pegasus, before gravity caught up to her and reminded her that she did indeed lack wings. There was an audible thud as she landed, face first on stage. Her cravat landed on the tip of her tail. The water rinsed something unidentifiable off the stage, and ran in great rivulets down to a central point, before disappearing beneath a tablecloth. The resulting scream, in addition to burning the ears of every pony who had woken there, save the mayor who was unconcerned with such minor things at the moment, also happened to be just the correct pitch and volume to shatter every window in the town hall in one swift moment. Derpy threw up her hooves.
“Ha! Not me this time!” And promptly fell through the floor. The words she used next shall not be repeated. Ever.
Chapter 19
Wings. That was the sound over Ponyville. It usually was, but it wasn't the weather team. At least, not all of it. Derpy was technically only a part time member normally, but she was in the air with Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle and struggling mightily to avoid crashing into anything, Robert.
“Well, I feel better now.” Twilight said.
“Why?” Rainbow asked.
“I'm a better flier than someone.” Twilight said. Robert couldn't spare even enough for a glare.
“Yeah, well, he's not exactly you know, aerodynamic.” Rainbow pointed out.
“I.” flap. "Fall.” flap. "Just.” flap. "Fine.”
“That's not aerodynamic.” Twilight pointed out. Derpy sighed.
“You're supposed to be teaching.” she said, glaring at Rainbow.
“Alright, alright. Look, flapping like that isn't going to get you going anywhere.”
“No.” flap. "Kid-” flap “ding.” Robert managed.
“It's all about Technique. Twilight, nice and slow, show him.” Rainbow said, waving the purple alicorn on. She reached forwards, and scooped air with her wing, pulling her forwards. She flew past him, and then turned around and came back. "See, just reach out and grab some air.”
He did. And plowed into the blue pony before she could react. She managed to catch them both before they hit though. “Good try. Try grabbing a little less though.” He did. And managed to move several feet without doing anything terrible. And then he missed his rhythm and plummeted. Derpy from dropped overhead and caught him.
“You don't have to make me look good you know.” she said, laughing.
“Not trying to.” he answered, shaking his head. "It's not as easy as you Pegasi make it look.”
“That's what I said.” Twilight chimed in. "Look, I read a book that might help. Why don't we try that before we try this anymore.” Rainbow opened and closed her mouth.
“Sure, take the egg head way.” she waved.
“Rainbow, didn't you learn your lesson?” Twilight asked.
“Yeah, but Daring Do is all about action and adventure, none of that boring learning junk.” the blue Pegasus laughed.
“Fine, then I'll learn to buckle swash the hard way.” Robert said, spreading his wings.
“No, it's swashbuck-- oof!” Rainbow Dash grunted as she was tackled by the gliding tiger. Derpy giggled and Twilight laughed. Rainbow Dash pushed him away, and he swooped down towards the library. The three ponies winged after him. "I don't get it, how can you glide that well and fly that badly?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Gliding is easy. It's all airflow over and under the wings, versus gravity pulling you down. I can feel the wind as I glide.” he shrugged spiraled for a moment, then straightened out. “As long as I don't do anything stupid of course.”
“Flap.” Rainbow barked suddenly, Derpy and Twilight did so instinctively, gaining height. Robert stared at her. "I said flap.” he did, rising slightly. "See, it's not that bad.”
“Sure.” he snorted. "It's fine until I miss.” he did just that, but managed to catch himself. He resumed gliding. "I'll stick with this.”
“Oh come on, you can't glide all the time.” Rainbow said, barrel rolling around him and coming up to fly backwards before him. "I mean, what happens if I do this.” she exploded upwards and rolled around on him. She arced out of the sky. Twilight and Derpy flew up and around to clear the area. Robert watched her come. At the last moment, he tucked his wing and rolled, but Rainbow was both too fast, and too maneuverable to be caught by that. She rolled opposite and clipped his wing as she came around.
“Rainbow!” Twilight called. “That was just mean.” Robert fell from the sky. He twisted himself around, and spread his wings. Then he did something she couldn't see, and turned the fall into an accelerating swoop. He rose nearly level with them, then leveled out.
“I might be a bad flier, but I'm excellent at not falling.” he explained. "You're not the first flier to try and teach me.” he answered the unasked question. "I learned to glide from griffons. If you know of a better group to teach it, I'd like to meet them.”
“I don't think they exist.” Rainbow said. “Any griffon I know?”
“Ambassador Gris(Grease)? he asked. Rainbow considered it.
“Never met him, but everyone knows who he is.” she replied. "Gilda never would shut up about him.
“You know Ambassador Gris?” Twilight asked, sliding into place..
“Who is he?” Derpy asked, joining the formation.
“Ambassador Gerald Gris, is one of the finest fliers ever to be a part of the Griffon Empire air corps.” Rainbow espoused. "He's one of the few non ponies to be inducted as an honorary Wonderbolt. Celestia herself presented his badge.”
“He's also the ambassador that the griffon's send when they need to make an impression but can't send royalty for any reason. He's also their most capable diplomat. He negotiated a truce between the Empire and the Independent Minotaur States. He helped them re-establish contact with the Lost Aeries. For that matter, he was asked to mediate the dispute between Equestria and the Diamond Dog Warrens. He's the reason we only chased the Changelings out of Equestria.” Twilight very nearly gushed.
“When I left, he was ambassador to the Enclave.” Robert added. “As well as to the Zebrican High Council. I consider him a friend. He brought me the heads of the griffons who killed my uncle.” the last was said with some regret. "My mother thought he should have kept one alive for me.”
“Your mother sounds scary.” Rainbow said.
“Yeah.” the other two were quick to agree.
“My mother is a saint after raising my brothers, but I suspect tolerating my sister might qualify her to join the sovereigns on pure merit.” he chuckled.
“The who?” Rainbow asked.
“There's the tree.” Derpy called and dipped down towards the library. Rainbow's question went unanswered as the three of them dove. Derpy landed and knocked the door off it's hinges. Twilight let out a sigh.
“I'm okay!” Derpy said, and then the door fell on her. "Less okay!”
Rainbow touched down in a perfect four point landing. Twilight teleported the last few feet. “I saw that!” Rainbow snapped.
“I know.” Twilight replied, exasperatedly.
Robert flared his wings majestically, caught his tail on the mail box, and fell forward. On top of Rainbow Dash.
“Not okay.” Rainbow managed.
---
Twilight was serving tea. Spike had made it, so it was actually palatable. Derpy was perhaps the most durable Pegasus Twilight had ever met, and thus the door was no more than a momentary inconvenience. Twilight had used a few ointments from her incredibly well stocked first aid kit. She'd made it mostly herself with help from Celestia, into a nearly cavernous storage space, thanks to a little magical enchantment. It was now very much bigger on the inside. Rainbow Dash had very few actual injuries as a quick scan showed. The worst she had was a momentary lack of oxygen while crushed beneath the overgrown house cat, to quote the blue Pegasus second words upon freedom. The first had been: “AIR!”.
Robert other than being apologetic, had been fine, pointing out that he'd had it worse while Twilight was teaching him shielding. She flushed and apologized for the rock. Rainbow had asked.
“Don't you mean rocks, ya know, Plural?”
“Umm... no.” Twilight said, glowing even brighter.
“Shall I tell her, before you become a second sun?” Robert asked. Twilight nodded vigorously, fighting to gain control of her face. "While we practiced my shielding technique, Twilight threw rocks at me. I in turn attempted to deflect or stop them with my shield. Prior to working out my technique, one iteration required that I turn from side to side to deflect the rock. It was proven ineffective, when Twilight launched two rocks. I successfully deflected the first of them. Unfortunately, doing so required I turn away from Twilight. Thus I did not see the second rock in time.” he winced at the memory. "I shall spare you ladies further details, but suffice to say, even a glancing blow to a tender area is of considerable pain.”
Derpy laughed, as she got the joke. Rainbow's expression ran a long gamut of emotions as she worked it out. The journey from curiosity to pained realization was fairly entertaining. Spike simply offered a comforting claw before returning to the kitchen. Robert smiled.
“I said I was sorry.” Twilight apologized again.
“And I accepted the apology. Let it lie.” Robert said, smiling. Twilight sighed.
“Yes Mom.” Twilight answered. Robert rolled his eyes. “Alright, these are the books for you.” she levitated a stack of six books onto the table beside him.
“Flight and you. Every pegasus flies. Flying for Dummies. I'm a pegasus, what now? Wings and things, 101 erotic uses for non standard appendages.”
“That's from the adult section. How did it get here?” Twilight said with a flush, making the book vanish in a flash of light.
“Something to tell us Twilight?” Rainbow asked, waggling her eyebrows.
“N-no.” Twilight said, flushing.
“Me thinks she doth protest too much.” Derpy said.
“Umm... What's this last one?” Twilight said, prodding at the top of the stack, trying to derail the conversation.
“Magical Theorem on Pegasus Flight. By Twilight Sparkle and Robert.” Robert read, then looked at Twilight. "Yes, what is this last one?” he did not sound terribly excited.
“Just a mock up, but it's the theory we worked out. I wanted to show it to you before, but this seemed like the perfect opportunity.” Twilight's enthusiasm faded.
“So, it's not been published?” Twilight shook her head, a disappointed look taking her face over. "Good, I'd like to read it, and make a translation into Tiger, before you send it off to be disseminated. Better a native speaker write it than the incompetent hacks they hire who only get every third word correct.” Twilight brightened.
“You're not upset?” she asked, wanting confirmation.
“Not at all. In fact, I'm rather pleasantly surprised. I never expected it you to bother publishing it. It was nothing more than a momentary diversion.” Robert shrugged. Twilight's eye twitched.
“Robert. Pegasi and Unicorns have been trying to figure out the magic behind our ability to fly since Star-Swirl's time. Before that in fact.” Rainbow said.
“This could be the greatest boon to Pegasi since the invention of Thunder-forged Iron.” Derpy leaned forward. "It could help thousand of Pegasi who can't fly, or don't fly very well.”
“It could even help Scoots.” Rainbow said. She looked at Twilight hopefully.
“I don't know. I've been working on tests to try and scans to run, but so far they've come up empty. The latest ones all use the new formula. Everything seems fine. And yet, nothing. It's perplexing.” Twilight took a deep breath.
“Perhaps it's the magic itself that is functioning incorrectly.” Robert mused. “After all, alike Rainbow Dash, she is capable of great speed, yet her lift is what seems to have a limit.”
“I hadn't thought of that.” Twilight reached out, grabbed the book, flipped to the equation, and then scribbled something like it on a piece of paper. She stared, skimming the page. Satisfied, she folded into the shape of a paper airplane, and set it on the table, aiming between Rainbow and Derpy. The two Pegasi slid aside and Twilight breathed gently on the plane.
It left a burning trail as it moved across the table, bulleted across the room and stopped, quivering, nose buried an inch deep in the wall.
“Hmm... perhaps I miscalculated the age co-efficient.” Twilight suggested.
“Or didn't account for the difference in air resistance between a Pegasus filly and a paper airplane.” Rainbow said, swallowing.
“I think the drag co-efficient would be somewhat reduced by the scooter and it's design, serving the purpose to cut down on the air resistance by acting as an airfoil in the same manner as the leading edge of a wing.” Derpy interjected. Everyone stared. "I minored in Advanced Aerodynamics. It helped my flying and I found it interesting.”
“What did you major in?” Twilight asked. Derpy stared back, as if she'd asked the stupidest question ever.
“Muffins.” Derpy dipped into her saddlebag and extracted a rolled parchment. She let it unroll.
“Trottingham Culinary Arts University, Certified Master Baker (Breads).” Twilight read. She opened her mouth, but stopped at a second diploma. “Cloudsdale University, Trottingham Extension Office Advanced Aerodynamics, Bachelor's Degree.”
“Why didn't you say anything?” Rainbow asked. "I've been looking for an Aerodynamics Officer for flight training for months!”
“You weren't offering to pay in muffins.” Rainbow's jaw fell open. "Plus you didn't tell anyone so I didn't know.” Rainbow realized she'd been gotten.
“So... would you like to interview?” Derpy nodded. "Noon tomorrow?” another nod.
“We were talking about Scootaloo...” Robert interjected, "Has anyone talked to her parent's about this?”
“Umm...” Twilight hesitated. Rainbow didn't.
“You'll have to ask her about that. It's not our place.” Rainbow said. Derpy and Twilight nodded. "It's just kind of private.”
“Alright.”
Chapter 20
“Hello Scootaloo.” Robert said. "Sweetie Bell, Applebloom.”
“Hi, Robert.” the girls chorused.
“What did you do to Diamond Tiara?” Applebloom asked.
“Nothing, why?” Robert queried.
“She's been avoiding us.” Sweetie mentioned.
“I suspect her father had some words with her. He certainly had a few with me.” the three gasped. "Nothing too bad, mostly about scaring his little girl. When he heard, he said he was going to do something. I don't know what, and honestly, I'm not sure I want to know.”
“I don't know either, but it worked.” Scootaloo grinned. "She hasn't bothered us in a week.”
“Fantastic. So, what are you three up to, crusading?” he asked.
“No.” Applebloom said, sighing. "I've gotta get home and help with the apple bucking.”
“And I've got to head back to my parent's for the weekend. They're coming back from a long trip.” Sweetie said.
“I'm free though.” Scootaloo said.
“Actually, you're the one I wanted to talk to. I was with Twilight and Rainbow and we were practicing flying. We got around to discussing you. When I asked about your parent's, they said I had to ask you.” Scootaloo took a deep breath. "If it's too painful...”
“NO.” the word was sharp, and quickly, like a band-aid being ripped off. "Sorry, no, don't pity me.” Scootaloo said. "I have enough of that.”
“I wasn't going to. I just wondered how your parent's felt about you having trouble flying and they said I had to ask you.”
“They don't feel anything.” Scootaloo said. "They died. As heroes.” she took a breath, steadied by the other two crusaders. "We used to live near Cloudsdale, on the ground. They were fog specialist weather ponies. So my inability to fly wasn't a problem. One day, there was a freak storm, low to the ground. It stirred up the air, endangering the city above. A dozen pegasi came down, more of them fighting it from above. My parents lead from the ground. A bolt of lightning caught them as they were pushing the storm. They grabbed it and deflected it away. It hit another one, and they arced up and hit the city. Dozens of pegasi fell out of the sky, as the clouds started to dissolve.” she paused, bracing herself for the next part. "There was an orphanage. Foundlings in the city went there. They were sleeping when the bolt hit. My parents were the closest pegasi. They took hold of the clouds, forced them together. It wouldn't have been anything special, but the storm on the ground had... a channel. An easy place, to go. The ground had been so supercharged that Cloudsdale was the only place for the lightning to go. My parents were in the way. I don't know how many times it hit them. But they held the cloud together until the orphanage was evacuated. Then...” she shuddered. The crusaders held her tight. "They fell. A bunch of pegasi caught them. I didn't even get to say good-bye.” Another shudder, this time holding back tears. "I was lucky though.”
“How?” Robert asked.
“I had someone to take care of me.” Scootaloo said. "I didn't end up in an orphanage. I'd have had to go to one for earth ponies.” she smiled at the two fillies beside her. "I'd never have met my best friends, or my hero.” she looked past Robert as Rainbow flew literal circles around several weather ponies, slicing clouds into pleasant shapes and then smashing through them. Several other pegasi simply threw up their hooves and turned away. Rainbow laughed loud enough to be heard on the ground and corkscrewed through another bank of clouds.
“So, who do you live with?” Robert asked. Scootaloo smiled.
“My grandpa.” she looked at the two other crusaders, and hugged them with her wings. "You two had better get going. Don't want to be late.”
“Ah'm sure they'll understand.” Applebloom said, but she started off. "See you Monday. “
“You're right, I don't want to miss my train.” Sweetie said. "See you Monday Scootaloo.”
“So, would you like to meet my grandpa?” Scootaloo asked.
“Definitely.” Robert said.
---
The house was no mansion, but it was a two story affair, with a big upper balcony. Large enough to land several pegasi, or one tiger on. Robert landed on the front lawn as Scootaloo rolled up on her scooter.
“One day, I will beat you.” she said, giving him a very determined look.
“I have no doubt of that.” he replied, just as determined to see her succeed.
“Come on, let's go see Grandpa.” Scootaloo led the way inside, wings fluttering in anticipation. She burst through the door. "Grandpa, company!”
“In the kitchen. Mind the floor...” the voice was old, but strong, the voice of one who had heard and seen much. And still he cut off with a raucous laugh at the sound of a too fast Pegasus hitting a freshly waxed floor, and something else immediately afterwards. The noise might have sounded awful to some, but Robert found it comical since he knew she'd not removed her helmet before going in. He found her dazed but unharmed on the floor, trying very hard to stand up on the waxed flooring.
“Need some assistance?” Robert asked.
“No.” Thud. "I've.” Thud. "Got.” thump. "It.” She stood up. For two full seconds and then slammed down again. "Yes.” Robert padded slowly across the floor. And let her use his paw as leverage to pull herself up. Off to one side, smiling at her antics, was a Pegasus stallion. His first comment was defining.
“Well, well, a Tiger with wings. I was pretty sure I'd seen everything, and I guess now I have.” he chuckled. He was tall, not quite on a stature with Big Mac, but still massive for a pegasus. His coat was a deep royal blue, almost a match for Luna's. His mane and tail, now gray with age, still showed locks of a deep royal purple. It was however, his wings that drew Robert's attention instantly. Long and strong, the feathers there were a brilliant gold color. Not the false yellow of some feathers, but a pure undiluted gold. Scootaloo's next words confirmed his suspicion.
“Grandpa Gold Wing, this is my friend Robert. The one I was telling you about?”
“War Master Gold Wing?” Robert asked, jaw hanging open slightly.
“Now there's a title I haven't heard in quite some time. Yes, I was given that title by the Tigers, during my service with the Long Patrol. Do I know you?”
“You've heard of my grandpa?” Scootaloo asked.
“You probably do not, but I know of you. Yes. Your grandfather is the reason I'm alive today.” Robert said.
“I doubt that my boy,” the old Pegasus said. "but why don't we sit in the living room and you can explain that?”
“Certainly sir.”
“Call me Gold Wing.”
“Yes, si... Gold Wing.”
---
Robert sat down on the couch with Scootaloo, while Gold Wing sat in a cloud chair. “It's a pain to keep up down here, but I spent too much time in camp cots and those hard backed monstrosities in Canterlot to deny myself the comfort now.” was his response when Robert asked.
“Now, I believe you were explaining why I'm responsible for you being here?”
“The Long Patrol visited my tribe a long time ago, before I was born. So this story was told to me by my father. He said that the patrol came to my grandfather and said that he should make ready his tribe, because a pack of Dobhar-chu were coming. My father was already a warrior when it happened, so he offered to lead the defense of the encampment”. My grandfather agreed, and set him to the task. Gold Wing rubbed his chin.
“I remember that. Something big moved into the lake that pack called home, and drove them out. We didn't stick around to find out, since we had to come warn your tribe.”
“None that I know ever went near the place.” Robert said. "So I know nothing about the place, or it's inhabitants.” he shrugged. “Anyway, the patrol left, heading back towards the pack. They came back a day later, and told my father the pack would be on them in a couple of hours.”
“I remember that. We actually tried to turn the pack, either away, or around the encampment. They wouldn't have any of it. Nothing we hit them with seemed to do more than make them a little angry and we couldn't even use that. They wouldn't chase us.” Gold Wing shook his head. "They were pretty driven.”
“They did the only thing they could do, which was stand the wall, and wait. The beasts came out of the grass like they were, Dad said possessed. Something was harrying them, like you'd drive a herd of cattle or something. They crashed up against the walls and didn't so much breach as they tore them open. The biggest ones were the leaders, and he found himself face to face with one. He tells it better than me, but he said it took a couple minutes and several tigers to bring them down. And he ended up fighting one alone. He's still got a scar from the fighting. A long jagged thing down his left side. It's mostly faded by now, but it's still there. Way he tells it, he had it down, and it just rolled over and hit him, knocked him down and pinned him. It tried to open him up, but as it did, you just dropped out of the sky and hit it with all four hooves. Made it only lay down that scar, and then you two beat it until it dropped.” Robert shook his head. "That about the sum of it?”
“Sounds right. I remember the big beastie. Got your poppa pinned down. Didn't see how they got like that, but I did drop on it. I always preferred the Hammer Hooves. Good thing too, those were the only way to hurt the beasties. I must given it a real good knock, because it left your poppa alone, and tried to eat me instead. I was never much for being an easy meal though. And your poppa didn't know when to stay down. He come right up and chomped onto the tenderest bits he could find.” Scootaloo gave him a confused look. "Don't worry, I'll give you that talk a little later on.”
“Oookay.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes.
“Anyway, with it distracted I landed on it's head and did me a little tap dance. Between us we brought it down and the rest of the critters just sort of lost heart. They scattered out of the encampment and headed south. I never heard of them again.” he looked at Robert, hoping for any news.
“My father said that they'd run into another tribe to the south, but they'd been forewarned and the beasts just went around them. They disappeared south, and you know what's south.” They bowed heads and spoke words in a language Scootaloo didn't understand.
“What was that about?” she asked. Robert raised an eyebrow.
“That's for a conversation early in the morning my dear. Lest you be plagued by nightmares.” Gold Wing said. Scootaloo looked for a moment as if she was going to dispute that, but decided not to.
“Wow.” Robert looked out the window. "I never expected to get all wrapped into this. I came to talk about Scootaloo.”
“Yeah, he wants to help me fly.” Scootaloo said. Gold Wing leaned forward.
“Have you talked to Princess Twilight?” the elder Pegasus asked.
“I have. In truth, that's why I'm here. The princess has a line on a why, and since I helped her come to the conclusion, she thought I should be the one to ask a few questions about it.”
“Go ahead, anything for my granddaughter.” Gold Wing said and leaned back.
---
Robert crossed the lawn and started into the twilight. Some ponies didn't get up until after it was gone, some went to bed when it came upon them. Robert found that the twilight was his favorite time of day. The sun was falling, but the moon hadn't quite risen yet. Night and day, combined into one state. Most were unaware of the implications, but Robert knew a few things about magic that many did not. Twilight was a perfect time to perform a lot of magics. Unfortunately, he was completely lacking in magic at the moment. Instead, he took a deep breath and lunged into the air. Wings spread, flapping... and he plowed into the ground face first.
Note to self, spread wings, then flap.
Robert picked himself up and tried again with the new information. This time he remained airborne, flapping towards the tree with all the grace of a sheet of paper. Still, he managed to reach a suitable height, then locked his wings and began to glide. The air was just beginning to cool down from the heat of the day, the air slowly taking on the thickness of the night. He ghosted on silent wings over the town. Twilight Sparkle was just returning for the day as he swooped down and landed.
“Hello Robert.” she sounded wholly exhausted.
“Hello Twilight. Long day?” he asked.
“Longer than you can imagine. she replied. After a day with Cadance and Discord, all I want is my bed. Do you mind if we talk in the morning?”
“Not at all. Good night Princess.” Robert bowed, wings spread to the sides. Twilight giggled. "Pleasant Dreams.” he turned and trotted towards the Everfree.
Chapter 21
“So that's what we did yesterday.” Twilight sighed.
“Sounds like you had fun.” Robert answered. "Nice work Spike.” Robert said, raising a muffin to the purple dragon.
“Thanks.” Spike said.
“So, this Discord, is that the same Chaos Lord who turned the universe upside down just a couple of years ago?” Robert asked.
“Yes. Though Fluttershy has managed some amazing strides in reforming him.” Twilight smiled. "He's as much a prankster now as anything else.” Robert's eyes narrowed.
“Oh really? I see.”
“What?” Twilight asked, suddenly concerned at the look on his face.
“Nothing, just something to ask Rainbow Dash about.” he said, taking a deep breath.
“Okay. So speaking of Pegasi...” Twilight said, leading into the Scootaloo Problem as she'd so cunningly named it.
“Oh, yes. Did you know here grandfather was a Long Patrol leader?” Robert asked. Twiliight blinked.
“No, I didn't. I knew he was part of the military, but not where he served.” Twilight hadn't really thought it important. "Is that important?”
“Not to the research, but he saved my father's life once.” Robert shrugged. "Which, since he was not yet my father, makes him rather important to me.” Twilight laughed. “As for the research, no, Scootaloo does not seem to have suffered any particular trauma, nor does she seem to have lost the ability to fly at any point. In truth, it seems like she's never had it. And yet, she's capable of generating not inconsiderable thrust. However, lift seems to be outside her capabilities. At least, the kind of lift needed for sustained flight.” Robert said, reading through the notes. Both Scootaloo and Gold Wing had answered questions, and he had some answers marked for each of them. Some only Gold Wing could answer because Scootaloo was too small to remember. Others only she could because he wasn't present. A few were marked with a small H to represent hearsay, because neither of them had direct knowledge or memory of it and only knew from others.
“That does support the theory that something isn't quite right with her pegasus magic.” Twilight said. “All the evidence is pointing to that, rather than some physical deformity.”
“Good to know. The problem then being, how to repair the damage.” Robert nodded. "If indeed it's damage at all.”
“You think it could be an intended effect?” Twilight said. "Flight is her dream and the basic purpose behind being a Pegasus.”
“You know magic even better than I do, and you know that it has a long history of not behaving at all like we expect. From the elements to your wings, magic has a will of it's own.” Robert reminded her.
“Magic is as magic does. And all things happen how they do for their own reasons.” Twilight responded. It was one of the first tenets of magic, taught to all Unicorns. To remind them that a spell failing was not always their own fault. Sometimes magic just didn't want to do what you asked, other times there was a reason, even if you couldn't see it.
“And often times the truth of an event is hidden in it's conclusion.” Robert added. Star-swirl had said that, not long after Clover's creation of the Warming Heart. "Perhaps we are looking at it wrong. Perhaps it is not that she cannot fly, but that she cannot fly the same as other pegasi.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.
“Perhaps it's not the flight itself, but the take off. If she gains speed enough to lift off, she might be able to achieve lateral flight, but not hovering or vertical take off.” Robert proposed.
“Yes, but how to test without shooting her out of a cannon?” Twilight asked. Robert stared at her for a long moment, trying to determine the seriousness of her question.
“Twilight?”
“Yes?”
“We have Rainbow Dash take her for a ride. Dash get's up to speed, and then Scootaloo tries to fly off. We naturally have pegasi and unicorns standing by to catch her if she fails, but if it succeeds it's just a matter of working out how she can take off on her own.” Robert said, surprised Twilight hadn't considered it.
“I didn't think that would work”. so she had considered it then. "I mean, Dash would have to be going nearly Sonic Rainboom speed, and that might be a danger to Scootaloo.”
“Why so fast? Surely the wing lift area isn't that small.” he said, pointing at a figure on the paper she had.
“No, but the ratio is very strange. She'd need a lot of air moving very fast to get the kind of lift to remain airborne on her own. Once she achieves that initial velocity, the magic should naturally take care of the rest of the process.” Twilight said, pointing to another figure.
“Hmm...” Robert skimmed the math. "Very interesting. Wrong, but very interesting.”
“What do you mean wrong? I triple checked this.” Twilight said, leaning in.
“This work was obviously done before we had our little breakthrough. Because this is the old equation and not the new one.” Robert explained. Twilight stared at it.
“I don't believe it.” she teleported a piece of paper and quill down and started writing. A moment later she started over with ink. Robert kept his tongue silent as she worked. "Hmm... this is strange.
“What?” Robert asked.
“According to this, she should be achieving speeds at least as fast as Rainbow Dash.” Twilight said and slid the paper over.
Robert scanned the paper but found no errors. He took a breath and looked again. “Curiouser and curiouser.” he said at last. “Perhaps it's some interaction of the magic that we can't see?”
“I doubt she's a nascent alicorn.” Twilight said. She knew Cadance was descended of Pegasi, but something told her that wasn't Scootaloo's path.
“I agree. And yet... something is not right.” he flexed his wings. "I'd trade these bloody things in for my Sight back.” Twilight stared at him. "The ability to see magic. I can't do anything magic related thanks to that bloody potion.” he took a calming breath. "No point complaining about what you don't have.”
“Hmm... I wonder if perhaps there's a spell to duplicate it.” Twilight mused.
“I haven't found one, but then again, I might not have read the book that contains it.” Robert replied. "Such is always a hazard of not having infinite free time.”
“True. I suppose... would you be interested in a flight?” Twilight asked. Robert raised an eyebrow. "The Canterlot Library has the most extensive magical collection I know of, and if we're going to find it anywhere, it would be there. And a second set of magically knowledgeable eyes would be invaluable.” she said.
“I'm not exactly Equestria's best flier. I was passed by Fluttershy early this morning.” Robert replied.
“I'll be honest, I'm not the best flier around either. Though, I do admit getting passed by Fluttershy is pretty bad.” Twilight smiled. "Then again, if you don't fly, you can't practice.”
“Curse you and your logical.. logic.” the big tiger sighed. "Yes, now that I'm starting to sound like Rainbow Dash, I'm thinking it's a perfect time to get out of town for a couple of days.”
“I don't think we'll be gone THAT long.” Twilight said.
“I was thinking of going there for a couple of days anyway, so I might stay a little longer.” Robert shrugged.
“Well, you shouldn't be gone too long.” Twilight said. "Rainbow Dash's Birthday is coming up in a little while and you don't want to miss a Pinkie Powered Party. Especially not a birthday.”
“I'm still in recovery from her last party.” Robert said.
“Yeah, but there's no hard cider of any kind allowed at birthday parties. You do not want to know why. Trust me.” Twilight shuddered.
“In that case, I suppose we should get going then.” Robert stood up. “Anything you need?”
“Nope, I've got a library bag that I keep pre-packed.” she said, digging it out of the closet. "What about you?”
“No, got all the bits. Money bits, wingy bits, dangly bits. Good to go.” he laughed as Twilight blushed.
“Then let's head up stairs. Better to start up there. Oh, wait.” she pulled a piece of paper and pencil from nowhere.
“'Spike, gone with Robert to Canterlot Library, be back tonight or tomorrow morning.” She signed the note and set it up against the bust.
“Right, up we go.” she spread her wings and flew up to the second story. Robert coiled himself and leaped up to the second floor in a single bound. "Why?”
“If I spread my wings and flap in here, we'll be here all night putting the books back.” he explained, stretching one wing out. It was as long as she was from nose to tail.
“Oh, right.” she lead him out to the telescope balcony, which faced Canterlot. "Ready?”
“Not at all. Let's go anyway.” Robert grinned. Twilight shook her head.
“Definitely too much time around Rainbow Dash.” she cantered forward, leaped onto, and off the railing and winged upwards. Robert took a breath, and followed suit, spreading his wings. He had slightly less easy of a time with his gaining altitude. Twilight circled while she waited.
“Dash makes this look WAY to easy.” Robert panted, as he reached the height she was waiting at.
“Tell me about it.” Twilight said, settling into a glide beside him. "You're getting better.”
“The books helped.” Robert said, locking his wings. "The one about suddenly turning into a pegasus was surprisingly enlightening.” he chuckled. "I didn't realize it was that frequent.”
“Poison joke effects every pony differently. Not every pony likes the way the are, and if prepared correctly, poison joke can be very effective at changing them.” Twilight said. "The author in question was originally an earth pony, and became a pegasus. I think she eventually changed back, but I'm not entirely sure.”
“I always tried to avoid the stuff myself. Of course that didn't work.” Robert laughed. "Thermal.” he shifted his course, and caught a blast of warm air rising into the skies. Twilight curled a wing and swung herself into the thermal behind him. They rose up and joined the birds circling at the top of the column, then swung north again towards Canterlot.
“I have to say, I understand why Pegasi like it up here.” Twilight said after a while.
“Oh?” Robert asked. He was concentrating very hard on not noticing how high up they were.
“It's peaceful.” she said. "There's no noise from hooves on streets, no conversations making a ruckus. Just birds and sky.”
“I guess it has it's beauty.” Robert replied. "Give me the nice solid ground any day.”
“That does have it's advantages as well.” Twilight laughed, then stopped suddenly. "Sorry, I forgot.”
“No, it's... fine. Look. The whole point of wings is to over come the fear of heights, right? Well, I can't think of anything that would work better than flying.” Robert said. He took a deep breath and looked down. This was the classically bad mistake made so often by cartoon characters and gravity asserted itself rather malignantly. Twilight knew it was going to happen the moment he did it through some sixth sense, and she winged over and dove after him. She caught up with him as he manage to catch himself just a few hundred feet from impact.
“Are you alright?” Twilight asked.
“Am I splattered all over the landscape in a hilariously orange blob?” Robert asked. Twilight blinked.
“No.”
“Then I'm just Pinkie Keen.” his eye twitched slightly. "Let's get some more altitude shall we?” he began flapping very hard. Twilight followed him up.
“How's the fear coming? she asked as they resumed their previous height.”
“No longer afraid of heights. Now afraid of grounds.”
“Grounds?”
“Yeah, that's the part that kills you.” Robert said, shuddering. Twilight laughed. So did he, after a fashion. The rest of the trip passed in silence and safety.
Except for the landing of course. Twilight did her magic trick, teleporting out of the air to the ground in one smooth motion. Robert slipped on the stone platform and face planted into the wall.
“Ow.”
“How can you be so graceful and so clumsy at the same time?” Twilight asked him, helping him gain his footing.
“Natural talent.” he replied. He spread his wings and tried to tuck them in. “Cover your ears.” Twilight flattened her ears while he said several words she would later blush upon looking up. "Sorry, messed up my feathers again. I don't know how pegasi do it.” he set about righting the feathers, which didn't take too long. Then he folded his wings, and held the door for Twilight.
“Thank you.” she said, and lead him into the library. Books. That was his initial impression, which was as hilarious as it was stupid, at least to his mind. What else did you expect to find in a library? Yet, even though he had known they were going to a library, he had pictured something like Twilight's home in Ponyville. The sheer size and scale of this one took him by surprise. Twilight grinned at him. "Impressed?”
“Very. I have never seen a library this big.”
“And this? This is the oldest wing. The newer ones are bigger. Someday, I'll show you the one in the Crystal Empire.”
“I shall have Rarity make me some socks so they can be knocked off.” Twilight laughed at the mental image.
“Right, let's see what we can find.”
---
It took more than a night's worth of digging. The library closed to regular patrons, but wings and a horn went a long way to extending courtesies. And a catastrophically precipitous temper went farther still. Twilight Sparkle was well known for outbursts of the latter if she was interrupted while studying and those who knew here were not willing to take the chance that her temper had remained after her ascension. Those who didn't were quickly informed. Donut Joe was allowed in, bringing coffee and snacks.
“Hello Princess.” he said, having set the bag on the desk. Normally food wasn't allowed in, but Twilight had a long history of doing it anyway. "Here's your favorite.”
“Joe. How long have we known each other?” Twilight said.
“Longer than I've known just about any pony, why?” he asked.
“How many times do I have to ask you not to call me Princess?” she said.
“I'm an old, dear friend. I'm allowed to call you anything I please. That's what old friends do.” he smiled. This wasn't the first time they'd had this conversation.
“Yes, but you always called me that.” she responded. "I'd like to think we're good friends enough for you to call me Twilight.”
“As you wish. Princess.” he grinned. She laughed. "Enjoy your meal Twilight.”
“I will. Thanks Joe.” Twilight watched him go and then trotted further into the library carrying the bag. Robert was sitting at a table, flipping through a book on magical techniques. There were two piles, each taller than Twilight to either side of him. They were all discards. He reached the end of the book. “Are you actually reading those?”
“Mostly.” he replied, stretching a wing up to place the book on the top of one of the piles. He'd stood on his back legs to accomplish that. "I've learned how to find the information from a book and see if it's relevant and then pass up anything that I'm not looking for. It's not much good for learning, but it's excellent for research.” he replied. The next book settled before him.
“I can't imagine doing that.” Twilight said, settling into her own pile. Hers were primarily books on magic spells, particularly those focused on Thaumaturgy. Spells about spells might seem strange, but Twilight knew that being able to cast a spell and learn about another was an important ability for any practitioner, and she was not about to let any branch of magic go unstudied. Robert piled the book with the others.
“I'll be back. This sitting still is getting to me.” he said, and stood up. He checked that his wings were tucked in, then slowly headed down one of the aisles. Twilight smiled and shook her head. Big as he was, he only just fit down them, even though they were intended for a pony to stand facing across. The wings really did add 10 pounds, she mused, thinking of Rarity for some reason she couldn't explain.
'Channeling Rarity? Rainbow would never forgive my lack of coolness.' Twilight grinned at the thought. She dug into her book and her donut's, reading through the book. Robert came back at some point.
“It's almost midnight.” he noted quietly.
“Oh.” Twilight glanced up. "I should probably get home. I haven't found anything. You?”
“No.” he replied. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “And I can't seem to concentrate any longer.”
“Not used to studying this late?” Twilight asked.
“It's not that. It's...” he paused. "I feel like the answer is staring me in the face, and I'm completely missing it for some reason.”
“Is that unusual?” Twilight asked. It happened to her all the time. "I mean... isn't that how it always works?”
“Not for me, no.” Robert said. "I usually don't worry about research. Something horrible usually happens and by the time I've finished, someone else has solved it. Sadly, the entire day has been disaster free. I mean, we weren't even late for anything.”
“That does seem odd.” Twilight nodded. "I never thought about that. It happens to me, but only when I'm well and truly stuck. If I haven't exhausted all the normal solutions without answer, nothing, but the moment I run out of normal options, bang, disaster.”
“It's almost a though some supernatural force is controlling the universe to keep me from needing to do exhaustive research and to keep you from getting completely stuck.” Robert said, rubbing his chin.
“Nah.” they said together, then grinned. "That said, you're right. We should go home.” Twilight gathered the books, making a note of where they'd left off, and carried them back to their proper places. The librarians didn't really like anyone else reshelving the books, but Twilight knew the filing system better than the librarians did.
She returned to the table and found Robert waiting, yawning hugely. She started at the sheer number of teeth in his mouth, and the fact that most of them were very clearly the type found amongst carnivores. She had been aware, somewhere in her consciousness that he was carnivorous, and she knew intellectually. Still, seeing those teeth in her face made her jump, some distant instinct from the past taking momentary control. It was an act of will to stop herself from fleeing.
“Sorry.” he apologized. "I'm more tired than I thought.”
“It's okay.” Twilight said after a moment. "You just startled me.”
“Oh.” he looked sheepish. "Forgot about that.”
“How can you?” she said.
“I've been.. a vegetarian, sort of, all my life. I don't think of other species that way.” There was a pause.
“Yet, deep down inside, there's an instinct telling me that you look delicious, and not in a 'when two ponies love each other very much' kind of way.” Twilight flushed.
“Umm...” she started. "You mean...”
“That my instincts want to invite you to a dinner as an entree? Yes. So I spend every day overcoming them. I tend to forget that not everyone is reminded of such basic instincts on a daily basis.” he said. Twilight swallowed.
“You realize just how many ponies might take considerable offense to that don't you?” Twilight asked.
“I am well aware of that, and thus I do not make mention of it often.” Robert replied, and then covered another yawn.
“Right, let me teleport us home.” Twilight spread her wings. "Hang on.” she glared at him.
“What?” he asked, leveling a stare at her.
“What do you mean 'not in a when two ponies love each other very much' kind of way?” Twilight said. “Are you saying I'm not cute?”
“I'm saying your species isn't my preference.” Robert replied. "I'm sure there are many ponies who might like to take you out for dinner and dancing.” he smiled. "I am not a pony, and thus not amongst them.”
“Okay, I guess.” she turned away and then back. “And if you were?”
“We'd be in the anatomy section of the library.” Robert replied. Twilight let that sink in for a minute, turned away with a satisfied nod, and teleported them home.
Chapter 22
They went back the next day, teleporting just outside the library and walking in. Twilight picked up where she'd left off. Robert abandoned his research and dove into the medical texts.
“All the doctors that have examined Scootaloo, you'd think they'd have noticed something.” Twilight said, in response to his chosen direction.
“Bah.” was Robert's particularly articulate response. "If they were capable of doing their jobs, we wouldn't be here.” he elaborated.
“I must ask you to be quiet.” a librarian snapped, appearing Pinkie style said.
“She says, talking louder than either of us.” Robert said to Twilight. "Never mind that we're also amidst a personal privacy spell so as to not disturb other patrons.”
“I've never known Princess Luna to have much respect for privacy spells.” Twilight noted. Lunabrarian deflated and sat down on the bench, disguise vanishing.
“How didst thou know?” Luna asked, accent slipping slightly. Old habits were hard to break, but she had made progress. Still disappointment made her less careful.
“I know of no librarian who can afford silver shoes.” Twilight pointed out. Luna flushed.
“Oh. I should have thought of that.” she said with a sigh.
“Don't worry, you'll remember next time.” Twilight said. "So what has you up so late?”
“I noticed the two of you up late last night, and while I am glad someone appreciates the night, I was wondering what had you awake then that has you back now?” she said. The change in tone finally made Robert's jaw, which had been hanging open from the moment of Twilight's reveal snap shut.
“Princess.” Robert bowed his head. Luna bowed back.
“Please, call me Luna.” Robert's jaw worked for a moment, then a blank look came over him. A small, but insistent buzzing noise came from his ear. Luna looked at Twilight.
“He's been hanging out with Pinkie Pie.” Twilight said. Luna nodded. She helped many ponies conquer their nightmares, but she avoided Pinkie's dreams. There was only one pony who could help with Luna's nightmares and she was still embarrassed to explain what caused them after she peered into Pinkie's dreams. Though she was fairly certain that the circumstances were as much a cause as the image of Big Mac in a French maid's outfit.
“I understand.” Luna said, and shuddered.
“Anyway, we're looking for a spell to see magic.” Twilight said.
“Why do you need a spell?” Luna's horn glowed a moment. "Is not magic readily visible?”
“When I cast it, yes, but not the magic inherent in each of us. Luna raised an eyebrow. A friend of mine, a small Pegasus, named Scootaloo?” Luna nodded in recognition. "She can't fly, and we think there might be something wrong with her magic. We've been trying to find a spell that will let us see it, but no luck so far.”
“Ah.” Luna sat back, tapping her chin with her hoof. "Why does he have wings?” she asked, noticing them for the first time.
“Magical accident with a potion.” Twilight replied, not paying more than casual attention as she read.
“I see.” Luna glanced at Twilight, and then at the still softly buzzing tiger. She reached up, lifted the top of his head, and then let it fall. The buzzing cut off with a click, and he looked around.
“Oh, hello Luna.” Robert blinked. "What were we talking about?”
“Twilight was telling me you needed to find a spell to see magic.” Luna said.
“Must have zoned out for a moment. Heard of anything like that?” Robert asked hopefully. He might not be the best researcher ever. He was pretty sure Twilight had that title locked up. But he was hell on wheels with a shortcut. Luna shook her head. Worth a shot.
“I did miss a thousand years of magical development. You might look in the archives.” she suggested.
“Archives?” Robert asked. Twilight was still wrapped up in her book.
“Yes, the library Archives. Where they keep the books either too fragile for distribution, or the books too specialized to need a permanent place in the stacks.” Luna glanced at Twilight. "Would you like to look Twilight?”
“No, I've been down there.” Twilight said. "I'd rather search up here. You're welcome to go if you want.” She turned the page. The other two looked at each other. Twilight was not known for turning down a chance to do research. The book must have been fascinating.
“Follow me.” Luna said, standing and leading Robert away. Twilight watched them go, and smiled. She turned back to her book. Daring Do was just leaving the death trap.
---
Luna led the way into the archives, horn glowing softly. There were only a few books in here sensitive to light and the librarians assured here that they were contained within magically shielded cases. They wouldn't be bothered by it. She was glad. Like Twilight she did not approve of the destruction of any knowledge. The filing in the oldest of the archives was frankly atrocious and she was quite certain that Twilight would have torn great sheaves of her mane out. She could, Celestia had assured her, repair such damage easily. It was one of the first spells the white Alicorn had taught her sister upon her return. Twilight and Luna shared a love of, and natural ineptitude for alchemy. Translated into laymen's terms, they tended to blow hair off at any provocation. Celestia had pointed out that they were not alone, and that she had commissioned the creation of a spell to deal with such disasters sometime after Luna's banishment.
Of course, Luna had objected to the suggestion that she was inept, but Celestia pointed out a few embarrassing incidents. Fortunately, chemistry fared far better in their hooves, but still it was a useful spell to know. Luna couldn't count the number of times she'd lost her eyebrows even doing simple research. A thousand years prior she'd spent an entire month with no facial hair at all, before she successfully worked out how to stabilize gunpowder. Of course, that also meant that twice per day Celestia laughed herself into a breathless fit.
The archives were enormous, even by the standards of the palace and library above them. They were more than a mile down in the mountain, further down than the crystal mines, further than the old tunnels carved when such defensive measures were still needed. Like the library in Ponyville, the roots of the Canterlot Royal Library ran deep. The shelves were elderly here, and cut off from the rest of the library by a huge chain fence. The head librarian had given Luna the key. And a page of safety precautions. Books on magic, the kind of magic that deserved to be locked up securely, were often the dangerous sort. And they tended to react to magic in a bad way. There was a second gate further ahead. It was made of glass, with a glass mechanism, and there was a glass key, kept in a safe place that would open it. Beyond it lay the most potent magical tomes ever created, good and evil, kept in individual safes that kept them contained. And glass though it was, Luna was certain, absolutely, unequivocally certain, that nothing, not even the entirety of the mountain being lifted into the skies, and thrown with all the might of any pony capable of lifting it, against that glass, that it would hold even against that mighty and terrific blow. She had made it herself. And what she made, nothing could destroy. Nothing but her. Even her sister, who kept the key could destroy the vault, though she could without issue destroy everything within it. The vault itself would survive even unto the end of the world on which Equestria rested. A grim smile came to her as she thought that it would be the last remnant of her and her sister, after her sister's sun destroyed the planet, the vault would fly away into space.
But that wasn't where they were headed. She turned a corner, and examined the signage.”Here we are.”
“Magical innovations?” Robert asked. "Why are they down here?”
“For one, no one wants an Earth Pony accidentally turning in a unicorn. Again.” Luna said. It had happened a few times, before they were able to track down the book causing it. "While there's an incantation to reverse it, most of them have no idea how to control the magic, and go a little mad with power.”
“Ah.” Robert said, not fully understanding, but getting the gist.
“Let's see...” she reached up and carefully extracted a slim volume from between two much heftier tomes. Robert skimmed the titles, and wondered what could be kept between 'Anecdotes of Improv', and 'Annals of Milquetoast the Magnificent'.
“Here we are.” Luna laid the book on the table. It was open, and there words on it. This was the sum of Robert's capabilities.
“It's in ancient equestrian.” Robert pointed out. “And I don't read it. I can speak a bit, but I can't understand anything written.”
“Oh. Right.” Luna disappeared in a flash of light. When she reappeared a moment later, Robert was under the table, and the books were going mad. One smacked Luna in the back of the head. It flipped over and smashed into her horn. “AGH”. The Canterlot voice rang out. The books heard it and turned. Twilight's horn flared, just once. A wall of water gushed down around the entire area. Magic flashed and failed. The books dropped. Robert extracted himself from under the table, and took hold of Luna.
“Princess?” he asked.
“We asked you to call us Luna.” she said. "However, we will forgive you this once.”
“LUNA?” Celestia called as she appeared just outside the section. The water flow cut off from a flash of her horn. Several librarians appeared. "What happened?”
“Princess Luna teleported me down here to look at a book, and some of these went wild.” Twilight said.
“Sister? I thought Teleportation was an internal magic?” Luna said, rubbing her head, as Robert helped her up. "The paper said nothing about it.” she held up the paper she'd been given. It did say no powerful external magic, including telekinesis.
“Normally that is true sister, unless one carries another with them.” Celestia gently reminded her. For a long moment, it appeared as though Celestia had raised her sister. Luna's radiant face faded slowly, and her head hung.
“How could I forget the most important of tenets?” she asked. Celestia laid a wing around her.
“Worry not dear sister. No harm was done.” Celestia looked to Twilight. "Exceptionally quick thinking.” Twilight smiled.
“It's not the first time I've had to do that.” she said, slightly sheepishly. Luna looked up. "You're not the first pony to forget about teleporting another being.” Celestia laughed suddenly.
“Oh, I remember. I had most of this area in my throne room for a while.” Luna looked at her sister. "Twilight came here with Spike, forgetting the rule. He found himself forced to defend her until the librarians could trigger the water to cut off the magic. The only flame he could muster was the one which sent things to me. How surprised I was to find myself being assaulted by books.” she laughed again. "Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked.
“I believe so sister.” Luna explained things with help from Twilight, and Robert. She showed her sister the book.
“Hmm...” Celestia skimmed the book. "I'm pretty sure this is not it.” Her poker face would have made most card players fold, and possibly run screaming.
“How can you be sure sister?” Luna asked.
“And though she looked hungrily upon his magic wand, she resisted the urge to polish it ere he gave unto her his permission.” Celestia intoned sonorously. Twilight... sparkled. She was very nearly glowing in the dark. Luna seemed confused for a long moment. Robert? He applauded softly.
“The most magnificent reading of erotica I have heard in some time.” Luna nearly fell when she realized what he'd said.
“Anquares and the Sight of Magic.” Celestia said, reading the title on the spine. "I can see where your confusion came from.”
“It's not entirely misplaced Princess.” The head librarian said, smiling. Tall and regal, nearly reaching Celestia's height, though with none of the princess' quiet power, the earth pony was steel gray with a dark mane. A file folder was her cutie mark, though a book peered out of it, rather than sheets of paper.
“Hello Book Binder.” Celestia said, turning towards her. "How do you mean?”
“Turn to the back section.” Celestia did so. Then she blushed. "So you see, it's not a public tome.”
“Indeed. Perhaps it should be more clearly marked.” Celestia said, passing the book to the librarian.
“I will see that it is done.” Book Binder said, taking the book. "If you'll excuse me, I've got some books to reshelve.” she headed off to direct the other librarians at their task.
“Now, let us see if we can locate the proper book.” Celestia said. She and Luna went one way, Twilight and Robert the other. Shortly, they returned to the table, each with a book they suspected would help.
“Princess?” Twilight asked her former mentor suddenly.
“Yes?” the white Alicorn asked.
“Didn't you once tell me that the nobles should never be left long to their own devices?” Twilight asked. "Doesn't you being here mean they're all standing around waiting for you?”
“It would, but before I came to my sister, I told them I would expect a budget proposal upon my return.” Twilight shuddered massively. "I suspect that will keep them occupied for some time.”
“We have looked at the records sister. In my thousand year absence, not a single time did they agree on a budget.” Luna said. "Even in years with a clear surplus.”
“I know. It is my go to plan when I must leave. They all wish to please me, so they try very hard. I am never surprised at how well they solve problems I did not know existed.” Celestia smiled. She turned the page. Luna turned a page. Twilight turned a page. Robert turned his book upside down. The others shared a look. He flipped a page, made a noise and turned it over again. They continued like that for several more minutes.
“Ah ha.” Luna said. "I believe this is it.” she slid her book into the middle of the table.
“Dill Whips Dazzling Dweomer-vision.” Twilight read. “A spell to see power in action.” she read through the spell and let Celestia have the book.
“I think perhaps this could work. Though, we need a test subject. three sets of eyes settled on Robert.” He stared back, then shrugged. He flipped a page. Three horns glowed. Eyes flashed white and then snapped closed.
“He could not have that much power.” Luna said.
“I do not understand such strength.” Celestia said.
“I don't think it's him.” Twilight said. "He's cut off from his magic. He had a magical accident, and so he has wings, but can't use his magic.”
“Sorry, I forgot about the wings. Robert said. "Wait a moment. he backed up a short distance and stretched his wings over his head. "Try now.” Eyes opened.
“Better.” they said together. "I think that this is too strong for the purpose.” Celestia clarified.
“Hold on.” Twilight's horn flashed once. Then again. “Ah, change the entropic constant to a lower number. I used 3.77.” more horns.
“Ah, much better. If you could turn the wing?” Luna asked. He did.
“Me, it's full of stars.” Celestia said. Twilight facehoofed. "Oh come on, that was funny.”
“Not really.” Luna said, chuckling. "Though I see what you mean.”
A sphere of magic floated past, followed by a gasp from Twilight. Several more spells flickered to life and died as she watched. “I have found the downside.” Twilight said.
“Which is?” Celestia asked.
“It's very difficult to write while using this spell, unless you have mastered using a hoof, and since I have not...”
“Ah.” The spells faded and Robert tucked his wings away. "Though perhaps you will find more use from it, having such a faithful assistant who does not need magic to write.” Celestia smiled. She led them out of the enclosure and returned the key to the head librarian who thanked her. Three Alicorns and a winged Tiger were a bit of an odd sight even in Canterlot itself. As they left the building, they ran into an unexpected pony. A pale blue unicorn with white mane joined several others in bowing, in an attempt to remain hidden from the eyes of those three Alicorns. She needn't have bothered, since they were talking amongst themselves, Celestia having invited Twilight to lunch with her and her sister. Luna wouldn't normally have agreed, being a night time pony, but she couldn't resist the chance to join Twilight in teasing her sister.
Robert noticed the unicorn and smiled. He broke off from the rear of the procession and trotted over to her. He'd met her on his way to Ponyville, finding her on the road to Trottingham, with only a few bits to her name, earned in card games where her sleight of hand had gone unnoticed. She'd stumbled into the tree he'd fallen asleep in, and collapsed from exhaustion. He'd not noticed her until he'd awoken and found her huddled against him for warmth. Upon awakening, she'd been terrified, and begged him not to eat her. She'd been supremely surprised to find him laughing in her face. Then he shared his breakfast, and pulled much of her story out of her. She glossed over Ponyville, the first visit saying that she ruined herself, and the latter simply that she'd done bad things she'd rather forget.
To say they were friends was a bit of an overstatement. It had been more of a business arrangement. She became a temporary Tiger tamer, and he became a 'savage wild tiger', from the tribes of the far east. It wasn't great money, but it put her on her feet, and him on the path to Ponyville.
“Trixie?” Robert asked. She jumped at the sound of her name, and then again when she realized who was speaking.
“Robert!” she threw her hooves around his neck, and he returned the hug.
“Trixie?!” Twilight was surprised to hear the name and she turned. Trixie caught sight of Twilight, and the Royal sisters approaching. From her position they seemed to be bearing down on her, and after her previous shock, she did the only sensible thing. She fainted. "You know her?” Twilight asked, indicating the now comatose unicorn.
“Yes. And it seems you do as well.” Robert replied.
Luna interjected. “Sister, perhaps we should make it a lunch for five?” Celestia nodded, very interested to meet The Notorious and Infamous Trixie.
Chapter 23
Trixie came to, in a small antechamber off Luna's private dining room. They would have been in Celestia's, but there had been an accident earlier that day with a pot of tea and a fairly large cake and it was still being cleaned. Twilight had ribbed her mentor about using a tea pot for a spoon. Celestia had returned with a crack about donuts, and Luna had been forced to excuse herself. The fact that she could still be heard laughing for several minutes hadn't really helped anything. Trixie, having been unconscious for all of this was unaware of such events. “Oh no, oh no.” were the first words she spoke.
“Oh, it was a dream.” she took stock of the room she was in. It was not her room, which worried her. It was also not a dungeon, which lessened her worry. She could hear Twilight in the other room, which deepened it.
“Unfortunately, no, it was not a dream.” Luna said. Trixie fought the urge to faint again. "Though it was not dissimilar to certain nightmares you have suffered before.”
“You know about Trix... my dreams?” A small voice screamed at her about 'stage presence', but she ignored it. That was what had gotten her into trouble to begin with.
“I am protector of the dreams of all ponies, not just those who feel themselves worthy.” a chess piece clicked.
“Is she still on about that? I thought I had her cured.” Robert said. A wing moved and another piece clicked.
“Yes, she seems to believe herself a bad pony.” Luna said.
“I'm right here.” Trixie said indignantly.
“I know you are.” Robert answered. "I'm also glad to see you're in better shape than when last I met you.” Trixie flushed.
“I... I got some more work after you left. It wasn't as good, but it was better, and I rebuilt my reputation somewhat.” Trixie said. She focused on Robert. "I never got to thank you properly for helping me.”
“Bah.” Robert said. Then he grinned at the board. He moved a piece. Luna countered. Trixie then was treated to a game of high-speed chess.
“Checkmate.” Luna said after a few minutes. Robert stared at the board.
“Agreed.” he said after a moment of study. "I guess I should have expected Ol' Blue's suicide gambit.”
“No pony expects Ol' Blue's Suicide Gambit. Luna replied with a smirk. "Especially not when playing against Ol' Blue.”
“Wait, you're Ol' Blue?” Trixie asked.
“That was the name I used when I entered Tournaments back then.” Luna replied.
“But Ol' Blue was a stallion.” Trixie said.
“I'm a wizard Trixie.” Luna said, smiling brightly. Robert coughed.
“Pr... Luna, being with you is a religious experience for me. But not necessarily in a good way.” Luna laughed out loud.
Trixie's eyes bulged, between the sheer impertinence of the comment, and the fact that Luna was laughing at it. Yes, in private she admitted that she believed in Celestia when she said her sister had been cured by the elements, she was not entirely without doubts. Then again, she was not locked away in a dungeon. Plus the princess and perhaps the best friend Trixie had ever had, had been sitting in her room playing chess while waiting for her to wake, spoke to a fairly normal, if incredibly powerful mare. The fact that he had ribbed her like that, and she had not responded by turning him into a pumpkin. Though Trixie thought it wouldn't take too much juice. Still, this was unexpected.
“I don't understand.” she didn't. Luna paused for a moment, then laughed harder still. Robert shook his head.
“I'll explain it another time.” he said with a smile. "Now that you're awake, we should go out and see if there's anything left for us.” Trixie blanched. "Relax. It can't have been that bad.”
Trixie took a deep breath. And then she explained. At the end, neither of them said anything for several moments. Robert spoke first. “Cool.” Trixie's mouth dropped open.
Luna leaned in, far closer than was comfortable, and spoke. “I destroyed half of Equestria out of jealousy. You were playing kiddie games.” she leaned back. “I know my sister will understand, and I believe even Twilight has gotten over it.”
“I,” Trixie shook her head. "I don't think this is a very good idea.” she decidedly did NOT want to go into the other room. Never mind the fact that there was only one door. She was perfectly okay with the window. Spider-horse? Ever hear of him? She could put him to shame. She knew the perfect spell for the task. She'd even fix the hoof prints it left.
“Or I could just fly you down.” Robert said. Trixie squeaked.
“I don't think she realized she was talking out loud. I used to have that problem.” Luna said.
“I think you still might.” Robert said gently. Luna squeaked, in almost perfect imitation of Trixie. “Come on Trixie, it'll be fine.”
“Trixie does not believe you any more than she believed the last stallion. Or perhaps I should say Gelding.” she smiled an icy smile. Robert smiled back, showing all his teeth. Trixie quailed first. Robert chuckled and stretched a wing.
“Here, I'll protect you from the big mean alicorn. And her big white teacher.” Luna laughed again.
“I HEARD THAT!” Twilight's voice was impossible to miss coming through the door. Trixie steeled herself. She shooed away the big orange wing and opened the door. "Hello Trixie.”
“Hello Twilight.” she turned to Celestia. "Princess.” she bowed. Celestia took a breath.
“Rise, my little pony. You are eating with me, you need not bow.” she said very gently. Trixie stood, but couldn't help being in awe. "Relax, Twilight told me everything.” Trixie's eyes rolled into her head and she started to fall sideways. Luna caught her before she hit the table.
“I'm not replacing another set of tea cups.” the dark blue alicorn said resolutely. "It was hard enough to find a matched set.” the application of a sweet roll brought Trixie around. She sat down between Robert and Luna, putting one of them between her and either of the other alicorns.
“Sorry about that.” she said, indicating the floor where she'd almost fallen. "I keep feeling like I have stage fright again.” Old memories tried to surface, but she beat them down. The Great and Powerful Trixie did not GET stage fright. A tiny voice tried to remind her she wasn't that pony any more, but the same beating made it go away.
“Yeah, she's the one who had stage fright. I was the one who had to pretend to be 'The Savage Wild Tiger!” Robert flared his wings and nearly hit a lamp. He coughed and carefully retracted them. "I still don't get how you deal with these silly things.” The alicorns, including Twilight laughed.
“Hey, I did a perfect job of calming your stage fright.” Trixie said indignantly. “And just how did you end up with those anyway?”
“He blew himself up.” Twilight said.
“Yes, and your 'method'? Pushing me out on stage and telling me to quit my whining.” Robert retorted with a smile. "I notice that you drank half a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres cider before the first performance every night.”
“It was a necessary fortification for the effort of producing magical special effects where my astoundingly amazing routine fell short due to the inadequacies of my partner.” Trixie said.
“Yes, and I'm certain your horn nervously spouting roses every five minutes had nothing to do with it.”
“Trixie was hungry.” she defended. "Besides, she doesn't recall you complaining about her cooking.”
“True, you can cook pretty well. Better than Twilight at any rate.”
“Yeah... hey!” Twilight bristled. "What do you mean by that?”
“Twilight? You once burned water.” Celestia reminded her gently.
“It was on fire when I got there.” Twilight said. Luna sat in a corner, eating a sandwich and popcorn, which Pinkie had brought. No one, not even Trixie was surprised by Pinkie's presence. Truthfully, none of them had noticed.
“Yes, but so was the rest of the kitchen.” Celestia chuckled.
“Ha!” Trixie said. She bit into a cucumber. She didn't even bother to peel it.
“River.” Robert only said it once, and under his breath. The Cucumber exploded.
“We agreed not to mention that again.” Trixie said through gritted teeth.
“I wasn't talking about that. I meant River Stones.” Trixie's face warmed. "I mean, I don't know what you saw in him, but he was a nice, big, strong stallion. I guess those curves weren't too bad. And that great big...” Trixie burst into flame. "Horn.” Steam hissed out of her ears.
“Luna, stop that.” Celestia chided. The steam faded, and Luna laughed. So did Trixie after a moment. And Twilight, once she forced her wings back down. Robert shook his head.
“Ooh, fish.” he looked at the others. "For me?” nods. "Thank you. And thank your chef.”
“You're welcome, and I shall.” Luna said. Twilight raised an eyebrow. "My Negasi are not pure ponies. They also eat meat, and when I learned Robert was coming, I had some prepared for him.”
“It is delicious.” Robert said. He made a sandwich out of it with a couple of cookies.
“Really?” Twilight asked. She was a little green around the everything.
“What, sweet and meaty. What's not to love?” he said and ate the entire thing. Trixie coughed. Twilight looked even greener. Luna chuckled and snatched a piece for herself. Celestia stared off into the distance.
“Something wrong?” Luna asked her sister.
“Hmm...? Oh, no. Just thinking.” Celestia said. "Now I'm thinking it's time for cake.”
“Mm... Cake.” Robert said. Celestia laughed.
---
Twilight stood on the lawn of the Palace, with Robert and Trixie. “Don't forget, two days, and then it's time for Rainbow's Party. If you're not there, Pinkie will come after you.”
“I fear not the ravages of time, nor the wrath of gods, but I will not chance the rage of Pinkie Pie.” Robert said. Twilight shook her head.
“Trust me, it's no laughing matter.”
“FOREVER!” the voice echoed with no discernible source. Twilight shuddered.
“Go home.” Robert shooed her off. "I'll be there on time, I promise.” Twilight nodded, gave him one last hairy eyeball and disappeared in a flash of purple light.
“Does she have to rub that in?” Trixie asked.
“I don't think she does it on purpose. Robert said. "So, can I bunk with you while I'm in town?” he leaned close and batted his eye lashes. Independently.
“Yes, but only if you stop that.” she said, leaning away. He chuckled.
“Thank you, oh Generous and Charitable Trixie.” Robert said. She rolled her eyes.
“You're incorrigible.” she said, and lead the way back to her apartment. It was, exactly as he'd expected, above a theater. "Yes, I do live over a theater. No I do not want to hear the jokes.”
“I had no jokes prepared. Give me a little credit. And time.” he chuckled. "There's just so many and so little time to decide which one.”
“Keep them to yourself, or you'll have to find somewhere else to stay.” she said.
“As you say oh mighty one.” he bowed, spreading his wings as much as the stairs allowed.
“And cut that out.” she said.
“Bad memories again?” he asked. She'd had nightmares while he was with her. They'd faded near the end of his stay.
“Yes, and I'd like you not to drag them up if you don't mind.” she said, taking a deep, deep breath.
“Sorry.” he apologized. "I didn't realize.”
“It's okay. I need to have a thick skin.” Trixie took a breath.
“Have you made any other friends?” he asked.
“Trixie has many... close acquaintances.” she said, carefully.
“Those are not the same and Trixie knows it.” Robert replied.
“I am not good at this friend making thing.” she snorted. “And don't you dare suggest what you're thinking.”
“What was I thinking?” he asked, eyes twinkling.
“Asking Sparkle to give me... lessons.” she shivered at the thought.
“I was thinking of her friends.” he shrugged.
“NO.” she spun around on him. "I will not willing subject myself to the pink one again. Even removing her mouth did not stop her!”
“I am fairly certain nothing but the end of the world could even slow her down.” he replied.
“Nope-a-rino.” sounded a voice from nowhere. Trixie's eyes darted everywhere, seeking the source of the sound. Robert shook his head.
“Don't worry about that. That's not the one I was thinking of either.” he said. Trixie stared at him.
“Fine, name one friend of hers that I do not dislike. Or that does not dislike me.” she paused. "Fluttershy doesn't count.”
“Me.” Robert said.
“Yeah, but...”
“But nothing. I was your friend first. I know what you did, and why you did it. I am also her friend.” he looked her in the eyes. "I believe the others would forgive you.”
“Yes. They probably would. However, I promised her I would not return to Ponyville.” Trixie said.
“And Trixie does not break promises.” he replied. "It is one of your most pointlessly admirable qualities.”
“Hey.: she glared at him.
“It's not bad, but you sometimes run off at the mouth before you think. he added. And don't leave a way to release yourself from a promise.”
“I was humiliated once and defeated once.” she answered. "Both times there. I wanted to stay away from that place. And I didn't think I'd ever need to go back. Or want to.”
“Now you do, only you promised not to go back.” he said. He crossed the small room, and stood beside her. "So you must convince Twilight to release you from your promise.”
“I don't want to go back there.” she said stubbornly.
“I disagree, but it is always best to have the option open, is it not?” he said. She nodded subconsciously. "However, that is for the future. For now, tell me all about this Lovely Theatre you live above.”
“Well, first of all, lovely isn't the word I'd use.” the theater was pretty dank and run down. It wasn't exactly well lit either. Robert coughed and dust swept in front of him. "Dusty I think is where I'd go.” he nodded in agreement.
“So, who runs the place?” he asked.
“I do.” The voice came from a big green coated unicorn, wearing a top hat the same color as his black mane and tail. "Name's Ghost Light.” he came in, cutie mark of a single glowing lamp bulb on his flank.
“Fitting.” Robert noted. "What do you put on?”
“Plays.” the unicorn replied. Trixie rolled her eyes, and wandered towards the stage. "Occasionally other things.” Robert didn't ask. It wasn't his business. "See many good plays?”
“A few.” Robert answered. "So.”
“So what?”
“Why do you let Trixie live upstairs?” Robert asked.
“Because she's an employee. Plus, having her upstairs discourages break-ins downstairs. Her talents for stage magic are invaluable.” Ghost Light said. "I had three other unicorns working together to produce the kind of effects she does without breaking a sweat.”
“I knew she was pretty talented.” Robert said with a smile.
“Well, I'm still hoping we get enough money to save this place.” the unicorn sighed, and looked around. As you can tell, it's not in the best shape.
“I was noticing a slightly run down look. I was thinking that was part of the decor.” Robert smiled. "Have you applied for a grant? I know the Princesses love plays since much of it is basically interactive history.”
“Yeah, but getting through the bureaucracy is a pain. I applied months ago and haven't heard anything. Chances are it got 'lost' by some noble.” Robert enjoyed conversing with unicorns. Other ponies had to struggle with air quotes, most unicorns just caused them to appear, without even thinking.
“Night, or day court?” Robert asked.
“Both.” Ghost Light replied. Robert rubbed his chin.
“Let me have a word with a few ponies, and see what I can wrangle up.” Robert smiled.
“Why would you help me? I don't even know you.” Ghost Light asked.
“That's true, you don't, and I don't know you. But her?” he nodded to Trixie, sitting on the stage, running through a background scene of a battle from the Lunar Rebellion. For a moment, Robert lost himself in the scene, feeling as though he was flying with the pegasi in it. His wings twitched during a particularly hard turn. He shook out of it. "Her I know better than she knows I do, and I like her.”
“Ah.” Ghost Light nodded. "I have to say, as annoying as she is, I like her as well.” he smiled. "Perhaps more than you do.”
“Definitely more than I do.” Robert chuckled, and Ghost Light blushed. "Don't worry. I don't think she knows.” the Unicorn let out a relieved breath.
“Good. I'm a great stage performer myself, perhaps a little too good.” he nodded towards Trixie, now running a scene across the stage of a daring chase through a desert. Robert didn't recognize it, but the scenery still drew him in. "I always want to say something, but when she shows up, I just become that other pony who doesn't feel it.”
“I confess, never being in your position before. My fiance walked up, knocked me on my back and told me just how she felt. A very forward tiger indeed.” Robert smiled.
“A usual thing in Tigerdom?: Ghost Light asked.
“No. She's kind of unusual. Of course, we had to go through the betrothal rights, but I had no doubt she'd defeat my mother.” Ghost Light started. "Mom's a mighty warrior, but she likes my girlfriend.” Ghost Light laughed. "What about your mother?”
“I don't think she could take my mom.” the unicorn confessed.
“You'd be surprised.” Robert smiled. "Unless you know your mother's a world class wrestler or something.”
“Umm...” the unicorn coughed. His horn flashed, and a picture appeared. Ghost Light and a Unicorn that must have been his father, were being held in the air by a short, squat Earth Pony, wearing a weight belt. She was standing on her hind legs, and holding a bar bell in her other hoof.
“Dude. What does she do for fun?”
“Moves houses.” Ghost Light smiled. "By herself.”
“No kidding. Yeah, Trixie's pretty out matched there.”
“Out matched by who?” Trixie asked.
“My mom. he turned the picture to her. Her eyes bugged out for a moment.
“Wow.” Trixie smiled. "She cuts quite the figure doesn't she.”
“And saws logs.” Ghost Light chuckled. "She rattled the windows every night while I was growing up. We didn't put anything breakable on a shelf.”
“Trixie is glad you did not. It would have been a pity to have such a pretty head ruined by scars.” Trixie smiled. Ghost Light started to harden up.
“He likes you. She likes you.” Robert jumped in. The pair glanced at him, then each other. "Go out with one another.”
“That's not how it works.” Trixie snapped.
“Yeah, you never see that in romance novels.” Ghost Light agreed.
“I'm not in a Romance novel.” Robert replied. "Go out. Or no fixxy fixxy.” Ghost Light stiffened up.
“Now that's not fair.” he said. Robert glared at him. "What if we don't get along?”
“I'll still do it if you don't get along, but not unless you at least go out once.” Robert said. Trixie opened her mouth. “Are you passing up another one? Really?”
“No.” she looked at the unicorn. "Do you want to go out?”
“Yes, I would love that. Do you have a preference?” Trixie shook her head. "Good, I'll pick you up at... seven?”
“Trixie will be waiting.” she smiled at him. He smiled back.
“I will be here then.”
“Then I must go get ready.” she said. She started up towards her apartment. "I'll see you later.”
“Yeah.” he turned walked into the door frame, righted himself, and left the theater.
“Umm... Trixie says... Oh gods, Trixie has nothing to wear.” Robert bit through a chair back.
“Okay, you promised not to set foot back in Ponyville, if Twilight agrees to release you, would you go in?” she nodded. "Good, hop on.”
“Wait, what?” Robert threw her on his back, took two steps out the door, and threw them both into the air. "Wait!”
---
Robert didn't have quite the speed of Rainbow Dash, but he was capable of moving quickly. He climbed and dove, leading to a very ill passenger, but a very fast trip to Ponyville. He landed on the balcony of Twilight's tree.
“I can't until...” Trixie barfed again.
“Don't get off and you've violated nothing.” Robert knocked against the window. Twilight appeared after a moment, jumping in surprise. She opened the door. "Trixie has a date, she needs a dress. You're the only one who can release the promise that she made that no one expected her to keep or even make but no one can release her from but you.”
“What?” Twilight asked. Robert took a breath.
“She wants you to release her from the promise to never set foot in Ponyville again so we can convince Rarity to do her up for a date in an hour and forty-five minutes.” Robert said.
“I release you from your promise.” Twilight said.
“Thank you TWIIII!” Trixie held on for dear life as Robert spun and flung them both towards the Carousel Boutique. Twilight considered it for a moment, and leaped after them. Robert had a minor landing issue. He hit the ground, slipped in the mud and rolled forward. Trixie took flight, failed to fully shield her self, and thunked horn first into the door.
“What is going on!” Rarity asked, slamming the door open. Trixie just caught her self from being flattened against the wall. “And why is there a horn sticking out of my door?”
“Date. Emergency. Trixie.” Robert managed, spitting out mud.
“What?” Rarity asked, slamming the door shut. The jarring of the door was enough to knock Trixie's horn out of the door, where she plummeted to the ground. "Trixie?”
“I'm really sorry for all the bad things I've done to you, but I really, really, really like this guy and I don't have anything to wear for my date and Robert even got Twilight to release me from a hasty promise and PLEASE?” Trixie stopped for breath. Rarity considered it for a moment.
“Okay.” her horn glowed and she and Trixie disappeared inside.
“That was very nice of you. And how did you convince Trixie to be nice?” Twilight asked, landing beside the tiger, still spitting up bits of sod.
“I didn't. Trixie.” he hacked up one more piece of sod, which in the spirit of things, contained a daisy. "Trixie was taught to never break character. She was always 'The Great and Powerful Trixie!' all day, everyday. It wore on her. After the first incident, it sort of took her over. Not unlike you and research...” Twilight coughed. "Right, like that, but she became obsessed. The Great and Powerful Trixie just had to be the best. Which lead to the second incident. Did you deal with that amulet permanently?”
“More or less. Celestia has it.” Twilight said.
“Well, she did also have Discord, and that didn't go quite so well.” Robert shrugged. “Anyway, after that one, the personality kind of... broke. She didn't want to be that pony any more, because it wasn't... her. I met her as she was trying to find herself again. She's really not too bad when she's not trying too hard to impress.” Robert sighed. "She really wants to impress this stallion, and so she's being nice to everyone else to get that.”
“I see. Can you get her back in time?”
“I can't get myself off the ground right now. Do you think you could arrange something? She's got to be there at seven.”
“A carriage couldn't get there fast enough. I could teleport us, but I'd need her to provide the destination.” Twilight said.
“I'm sure she'd be willing.” Robert slumped forwards. "I'm going to have a nice nap here in the yard.” He was asleep before Twilight managed to formulate a reply. She chuckled. Then she stood and walked to the door of the boutique. A quick spell divested her of the mud, and a second repaired the horn shaped hole in Rarity's door. Twilight slipped inside, and was immediately buried under discarded clothing.
“Hmm... no no, too provocative for a first date. Too simple.” Rarity glared at the unicorn. "This calls for drastic measures. Trixie yelped as she was jerked through a swinging double door. Very few ponies ever went in there. And none of them ever left until they dripped with 'Super Fabulousity!'.
What came out, was exactly that. Trixie's dress was deeply blue, almost midnight, sewn with strings of pearls, and offset by a row of sapphires running down the spine. Her mane was braided with ribbon of the same deep blue, each end clasped together with another sapphire. Her tail was brushed to a shine and tied with another ribbon and Sapphire. Her horn was ornamented with a brilliant silver wire mesh, from which more sapphires dangled or sat in the mesh.
“I am a genius.” Rarity declared. Twilight couldn't do anything but nod. "Thank you.”
“How do I get back?” Trixie asked suddenly.
“I am your Royal Escort.” Twilight bowed.
“What?” Trixie asked.
“Robert's passed out on the lawn and asked me to teleport you back to your place.” Twilight explained. "I guess flying you here did him in.” Trixie flushed.
“I'll have to thank him.” she said. "How can you teleport me home? You've never been there. I might not be the best unicorn around, but I know how it works.” Trixie pointed out.
“You are a fantastic unicorn.” Rarity said. "One with eccentricities certainly, but still a fantastic unicorn.” Trixie flushed.
“I merely meant that I've not mastered the ability to teleport very far at all.” Trixie said.
“No problem.” Twilight said. "The fact that you can teleport at all makes it easier. Focus on the destination, and prepare the spell. I'll pump power into the matrix and jump us there. Then I can jump back.”
“Okay.” Trixie took a breath, focused on her apartment and laid out the spell. Twilight nodded, and dumped power into the matrix. There was a brilliant pink flash. Suddenly the pair was standing in Trixie's living room. "Welcome to my home.”
“Thank you. It's nice.” Twilight looked around. "Not quite as homey as I expected.”
“I don't really spend a lot of time here.” Trixie admitted. Some part deep inside rebelled at the thought of talking about this kind of thing to Twilight Sparkle of all ponies, but Trixie ruthlessly crushed that voice. "Mostly I'm either working in the theater, or putting up fliers.”
“Really? What do you do in the theater?” Twilight asked, only moderately curious. Trixie however swelled with pride.
“I am in sole charge of backgrounds and special effects.” the blue unicorn smiled brightly.
“Care to demonstrate?” Twilight asked. She had intended to leave right away, but Trixie was talking and she didn't want to ruin a chance to count the blue unicorn amongst her friends.
“Yes, just give Trixie a moment.” the third person slipped out. Her horn lit and a picture lifted off the wall, and nearly went through the ceiling. Twilight snapped a shield into place just in time to catch it. "What happened?” Trixie asked, terrified.
“You're wearing a silver mesh. It amplifies telekinetic powers.” Twilight reminded her gently.
“I know.” Trixie snapped, then calmed herself. "Sorry. I thought it was just tin, not real silver.”
“Rarity wouldn't skimp on fashion like that.” Twilight smiled.
“Right. Could you remove it please? I don't want to break it.” It was metal, but with boosted Telekinesis it wouldn't take much to shoot it into low orbit or more likely flatten it against the ceiling. Twilight gingerly removed it, the moment it was clear of the horn, she encased it in a protective bubble.
Trixie nodded in thanks, and cleared a space on the wall. “Anything in particular you would like?”
“Ballad of the golden princes?” Twilight asked.
“A favorite of many unicorns. Trixie nodded. "One wonders why a trio of muscled princes brings the attention of unicorns in particular. she pondered it a moment. "Oh well.” Her horn began to glow and for a moment, nothing happened. Then the magic laid itself out on the wall and began forming the story. Three unicorn princes each dressed in gold threaded finery trotted through the forest. One in white with a bright blue coat and mane. One in deep red with a pale green coat and dark green mane. The third in silver with a dark red coat and nearly black tail. The tale told of them journeying through the woods to the castle of the two sisters. They came to woo Celestia in hopes of becoming king.
Each of them tried and failed to woo her, and then each sought Luna. Each was turned down. And at the end, they found themselves enchanted by maids of the castle, whom they went home with. The Blue unicorn left with a purple unicorn, the green unicorn left with a brown earth pony. The red coat stayed with a black coated Pegasus. Most ponies thought it referred to the founding of the first noble houses, marrying princes to create them. Twilight knew the truth. The three princes were actually the servants and the three servants were the nobility. The prince version was considered somehow more romantic, not that she could understand it, and Celestia hadn't had the heart to tell most ponies the truth. But sitting with the princess at the play, Twilight had gotten an education she'd never expected. Celestia had given a running commentary about the differences.
“Okay. Wow.” Twilight said, as the spell wound down, and Trixie beside her, carefully so as not to wrinkle her dress. "I knew you were handy with an illusion, but that...” the alicorn shook her head.
“Thank you Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie said, slightly exhausted. "I must admit, I appreciate the compliment, but a small part rankles at it.”
“Really? Even though it's an admission that you're better at something than I am?” Twilight asked.
“Even then. It feels like a...hollow compliment.” Trixie admitted. "Like you're just trying to make me feel better.”
“Let me show you something. Twilight took a deep breath. Her horn flashed and an illusion appeared on the wall. It looked like a stop motion animation of a Rainbow Dash drawing. And yet, it was a technically perfect illusion. Trixie could see a perfection of proportion, that was something she expected from Twilight Sparkle. The fact that even the terrible looking ponies on the wall were in the exact correct proportions, was just her kind of thing.
“Trixie see's.” Twilight let the illusion fade.
“The only other unicorn I know that's much good at illusion is Rarity. She keeps telling me it's all about attention to detail, but I guess I don't have it.” Twilight shrugged. It didn't bug her too much, unless she thought hard about it, then she started picking it apart until it didn't. Trixie, had she known, would have pointed out that the kind of attention to detail needed to pick apart an argument with yourself could translate well into an illusion. She didn't know and so said nothing.
“So much for leaving right away.” Trixie said. Twilight opened her mouth. "Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. Without you, I'd have spent the entire hour pacing.”
“You're welcome. And Trixie? Come visit Ponyville any time.” Twilight smiled and offered a hoof. Trixie bumped it. As if summoned, there came a knock at the door. "Oh, looks like your date is here.”
“Does Trixie look okay?” the unicorn asked, standing up.
“YOU, look amazing. As if Rarity would do any less.” Twilight pulled the silver mesh over and carefully set it on Trixie's horn. "Just remember, take care with your Telekinesis, this thing is going to be juicing it up a lot.”
“I will remember.” she paused. "Would you answer the door so I don't accidentally rip it off?” Trixie asked. Twilight smiled, and nodded.
---
Ghost Light raised his hoof to knock again, then quickly dropped it when the handle turned. It was glowing a darker pink than he remembered, but that was explained when not the blue unicorn he expected, but a purple Alicorn awaited him on the other side. He started to speak, then caught sight of Trixie. His jaw dropped open, and he nearly dropped the bouquet of flowers he had in his telekinetic grasp. After a few awkward moments of staring, Twilight reached up and closed his mouth.
“I'm ready.” Trixie said.
“I see.” he struggled to put his brain into gear. "You look... amazing.”
“Thank you. A friend helped.” Trixie took a step forward. Ghost Light nearly stumbled standing still.
“Here, these are for you.” he floated the flowers to her. She reached out, and gingerly took them. How he knew her favorites were tulips, she didn't quite know, but they were delicious.
“I hope dinner is as delicious as the appetizer.” Trixie said. Ghost Light's eyes dilated.
“Oh no.” he realized he'd forgotten something. "I completely forgot dinner.” Trixie smiled.
“Well, perhaps we can go to a deli and have a picnic?” the unicorn suggested.
“Wait. Here.” Twilight's horn flashed. A small white card appeared and floated over to Ghost Light. "Go to Chez Musette, and show that to the maitre'd. He'll know what it means.” Ghost Light took it. There was nothing on the card but Celestia's Sun-In-Glory. "If he asks, tell him Twilight Sparkle sent you.”
“Thank you.” The pair of unicorns said.
“Go and enjoy yourselves. I am going home to have a good night. I expect to hear that you did the same.” Twilight said, and shooed them out. After they left, Twilight gathered her power, and flashed to the restaurant. The maitre'd was moderately surprised to see her.
“Princess, how may I help you?” he asked. "Your usual table?”
“No. I have two friends coming. They'll have the card. I wanted to make sure you know they're coming. And that I really did send them.”
“Ah. The table is empty, certainly. Anything special?” he asked.
“No, but the entire meal is on my tab, but don't tell them. It's a surprise.” Twilight said. She knew she could count on his discretion.
“You can count on me Princess.” the Maitre'd said. "They must be special friends.”
“I'm glad to call all my friends special.” she said. "Now, not to be rude, but the surprise will be very ruined if they run into me.”
“Certainly. Have a pleasant night Princess.” he bowed as she flashed away. “Ah, how may I help you?”
“A table for two?” Ghost Light asked. “I was told to show you this?” he levitated the card for the Maitre'd.
“Ah of course. And who sent you if I might ask?”
“Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Ghost Light replied.
“Ah, very well, follow me.”
Twilight flashed home, landing outside Carousel Boutique. Robert was still sleeping on the lawn, though he now had a pillow under his head, and a blanket over him. Of course, he was also still in the mud, but even if Rarity couldn't let him sleep without those, there were limits to even her generosity. She came to the door when Twilight knocked.
“So? Did you get Trixie off on her date alright?” Rarity asked once they were inside.
“I did.” Twilight said, and related the story. Rarity gave a very Fluttershy like squeal of approval. Then laughed at the forgotten dinner. It ended with a hug.
“I'm not the only one who's generous.” Rarity said. "Even if you're better at not taking credit.” she teased.
“It's their night. Besides, Trixie would kill me if she found out.”
“You're certain the Maitre'd will convince her?” Rarity asked.
“Absolutely. Jacque is an old friend of the family. It's Mom's favorite restaurant, so I've known him for years.” Twilight said. "He's known me for years as well, even if he still insists on calling me Princess.” they shared a laugh. They talked for a little while longer, and then Rarity walked Twilight to the door.
“I wonder how long until he wakes up?” Rarity asked.
“Hard to say.” Twilight replied. "We had a long night last night, and then he raced back here.” Robert had rolled onto his side, but he had one leg up in the air, twitching slightly.
“Oh well.” Rarity said, and shook her head.
Chapter 24
“I feel awful.” Robert commented. He was sitting on Rarity's couch, having washed most of the mud off outside, and then had a shower at her insistence.
“Not surprising darling. You did spend the night sleeping on my lawn, even if it's fabulously manicured.” Rarity said with a smile.
“I'm fairly sure I ate some of it.” he replied. "I don't quite see how some ponies manage.”
“It all depends on the circumstances. A fast food buffet is not how most ponies eat.” Rarity fought to contain a smile. She failed.
“It wasn't exactly mine, but I wanted to ensure you had enough time to help her.” Robert replied, and yawned. "Sorry.”
“Quite alright. How is the tea?”
“Fantastic.” he said, taking another sip. A nice black tea is the perfect way to wake up.”
“Indeed. I cannot quite fathom the fascination with coffee.” Rarity said, sipping her own.
“I can.” Robert replied. “Coffee isn't something drunk for pleasure, but for the burst of energy. If you have to do something and can't get up the energy to do it yourself, it has it's charm. On the other hand, if you're just trying to relax, tea is the way to go.”
“I agree. So tell me, how did you end up a match maker?” Rarity asked.
“Hmm... let me start at the beginning.” Robert said, picking up a muffin. "It started on the road to Trottingham.” he told her the entire story.
“A dilapidated theater in Canterlot?” Rarity asked.
“Yes. It's a lovely theater, but it's kind of run down, so it doesn't attract the kind of business it really needs to stay up and running.” Robert said.
“Don't the Princesses offer grants for such things?” Rarity asked. "I'm certain I've heard that.”
“They do.” Robert said. "Unfortunately, the requests have become tied up in the normal bureaucratic nonsense. I was hoping to get Twilight's help, and things went in a different direction altogether.”
“Ah. Tell me, what would your father do in such a situation?” Rarity asked, leaning forward.
“He'd sit down and listen to both sides. Then, if mother were around, she'd talk with him quietly and he'd come to a compromise between both sides, that left them as satisfied as could be managed.” Robert smiled at the memories.
“What if she was not?” Rarity asked.
“He'd listen calmly to both sides. And then he'd go on a five alarm, four star tirade lasting anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours. The most impressive was perhaps the 'Cabbage Incident.' It was the stuff of legend.”
“Oh, now you simply must tell me.” Rarity said, giving him all her attention.
“Mother was away with the warriors, some patrol or other. Father heard a dispute between two merchants over the price of a wagon load of Cabbages. Each accused the other of price fixing, or gouging or some such nonsense. It was a complete falsehood on both parts, but once my father started listening, he had to make a ruling. He let them both finish, looked them in the eyes, and said:'You're both idiots.' And then proceeded to unleash a tirade that lasted four days without repetition, or any other insults, and no breaks except sleep and other necessities. It was quite impressive.” Robert smiled at the memory.
“That sounds interesting.” Rarity said. It didn't.
“Oh, but the best part of it? The cabbages over which they were arguing? By the time he finished his tirade, they'd been sitting out in the heat for the entire time. The entire batch was completely useless.” Robert laughed. "He ended up paying them both a fraction of what it was worth.”
“That's... kind of awful. Rarity said. "I am a fashionista, but I am friends with several farmers, and I can guess just how much a wagon load of cabbages cost.”
“True. Though the fraction he paid for the wagon, is by weight a greater amount than is paid here for a wagon of edible cabbage.” Rarity raised an eyebrow. "We grow rather a lot of cabbage. It's the best food for transmutation to meat, so we use a lot of it. It wasn't too valuable, until someone” he coughed, which sounded suspiciously like the word ponies. "brought us the recipe for Coleslaw.”
“Ah.” Rarity said, and sipped her tea. "So no undue hardship?”
“Not at all.” he replied.
“Then why argue so much the price?” she asked. He chuckled.
“Have you ever known merchants not to haggle over the price? Of anything, even if it's so common as to be anywhere?” he snorted. "It doesn't really need a good reason to happen, it just happens.”
“True enough.” Rarity admitted. "So, this theater, tell me about it?” Robert closed his eyes, and began describing it. After a moment she followed him. "I can see it. Hmm... It sounds amazing, but why are you telling me?”
“Well, I was hoping, that if we get them the money, a certain pony might be convinced to help with the renovations. After all, theaters are staples of high society...” he left it hanging.
“I suppose I might be convinced to lend a hoof.” she smiled. "If you get the grant.” he smiled back.
“Excellent. Now, to see about sicking Twilight on the bureaucrats.” Robert finished his tea. "But first, another muffin.”
---
Twilight prodded the magical field. It rebounded and shocked her. “Ow.” Okay, prodding the magical field wasn't a brilliant idea. She pressed a probe of magic against it. Zap. “Ouch.” She shook her head to clear it. That wasn't helping anything. She drew back, preparing to hit it as hard as she could. A knock at the door stopped her. She released the power she'd drawn in, down and out through her hooves, grounding it out. Then she released the spell she'd learned in the library. She trotted up the stairs, locked the door to her lab, and answered the door. Robert was on the other side of it, looking much better than he had the night before. “Hello. Have a good nap?”
“Yes, as a matter of fact I did.” he replied. "I might just sleep in the mud again.” he grinned.
“You're as bad as Rainbow Dash.” Twilight said.
“Thank you.” he answered, pretending to buff his claws.
“Not a compliment.” she replied.
“That's how I'll take it, nevertheless.” then he smiled. It was a sufficiently predatory smile that she couldn't help but flinch. "So, the reason, that I ended up match making last night, was that Trixie introduced me to her boss. And I noticed the theater was a little run down. So I asked him about it, and he said he didn't have the money to fix it.”
“The princesses have grants for that.” Twilight pointed out.
“I said the same. He replied that he'd submitted requests to both the night and day courts, only to see them disappear into the bureaucracy.” Twilight raised an eyebrow. "I was wondering if you might be convinced to apply that powerfully analytical mind to the process of speeding one of the applications or the other into some action.”
“I could take it straight to the princesses.” Twilight pointed out.
“Yeah, you could. Unfortunately, then you don't get to irritate the bureaucrats. Is there anything more fun? he asked, smiling pleasantly at her.
“Avoiding them completely?” Twilight suggested. "Or possibly banishing them somewhere and locking them up where they've been banished?”
“Ah, most of them are just doing their jobs.” he pointed out.
“Yet you want to annoy them.” she said, exposing his hypocrisy.
“Their boring, boring jobs.” he shrugged.
“I'm certain it's not that boring.” Twilight said.
--
Paper Mate, a white coated, black tailed earth pony, decided he had the single most boring job in Equestria. The arrival of a Princess and Tiger, did not make him feel any better.
“Hello Princess...” he blanked.
“Twilight Sparkle.” she offered a hoof.
“Pleasure Princess.” he shook the hoof. "What can I do for you?” Twilight took a breath, and explained. “Ah. Well, you've come to the right office.” he turned and trotted to the index behind him and skimmed through the paper. "Here we are.” he carried the binder to the desk and opened it. He skimmed through the contents and then paused. His eyes narrowed.
“What's the matter?” Twilight asked.
“I see why your friends applications got stopped here. They were put under administrative hold.” Paper Mate turned the book around. Twilight skimmed through it, and when she found what she was looking for, her face turned sour.
“I might have known.” she said. Can I get a copy of that?”
“Certainly, just a moment.” Paper Mate hefted the binder and disappeared into the backroom.
“Twilight? What's wrong?” Robert asked, backing away as she turned towards him.
“His name, is Blueblood. And, he is the single most arrogant, self-righteous jerk I've ever had the displeasure of dealing with.” Twilight explained. “And as the student of the princess, I have become an expert in arrogant, self-righteous jerks.” she explained what she knew.
“It's not necessarily very nice, but she did go looking for a prince to take advantage of.” Robert pointed out at the end of the Gala story. Twilight snorted. "I presume there's more?”
“Oh, that's just the start.” Twilight said. "So far, I've heard more than a half-dozen accounts of him knocking ponies out of his path, even if there was a considerable space around them. I believe them, because I've witnessed two of those myself. Then there's the petitions. The endless, mind numbing petitions. One of my first court assignments, was reading through his petitions and finding ways to deal with them. A fair few of him went into the fire. I was informed that was an unkind way of dealing with them. His ideas weren't all bad, but one in fifty wasn't exactly a stellar track record.”
“Ah, one of those.” Robert nodded. "I've seen a fair few of them.”
“And how do I explain the legal repercussions of some of his 'amorous' adventures?” Twilight asked. "I cannot think of a way to do it. More time and money were thrown down the drain dealing with his legal problems than I care to think about.”
“Why would you know that?” Robert asked.
“Because another of my assignments was helping in the courts. Would you believe that at one point, that idiot attempted to sue the princess. And not Princess Celestia. He tried to sue Princess Luna, for neglect of her duties.” she took a deep breath.
“Are you serious?” he asked. She nodded. "I see I might have to try some 'diplomacy'.” before Twilight could respond, Paper Mate returned with a couple copies of the relevant papers. He passed them over and returned the binder.
“If you could just sign here.” he slid a paper to her, indicating the time and date she'd asked for the copies. She signed it, and pushed it back. "There we go. Have a good day. As much as you can when dealing with his snootyness.”
“Thank you.” Twilight said, and led the way out.
---
Prince Blueblood was lounging by a pool when Twilight arrived. His drink splashed onto him, staining his coat red. “Hey!” was all he managed as he was rolled off the chair by her landing. A moment later he was washed clean, as Robert overshot, and splashed down in the pool. Twilight's shield ensured she remained perfectly dry.
“Hello Blueblood.” Twilight said, managing through some miracle to remain calm and polite. Even if she really wanted to hold his head under the pool for several minutes before talking. To remove the smell of alcohol if nothing else.
“Ah, Princess Twilight. If I had but known you were coming.” he began.
“I have no doubt, had you known I was coming, you'd have found some reason to be out of the city. Which I remind you would have been just as futile now as it was in the past.” After a while, Twilight had taken to delivering responses to Blueblood's petitions in person, to disabuse any notion of pretending he hadn't gotten the response. They'd had to stop several petitions he was already underway with, by claiming he'd never received responses. After Twilight's first visit, Blueblood attempted to escape her. It hadn't worked.
“Princess, you wound me. I have most certainly learned my lesson.” he defended himself. “Can I offer you something?”
“No. And if you'd learned your lesson, you wouldn't be looking for a way to weasel your way away from me. However, I am willing to be fair. I have not quite mastered Princess Celestia's method of extracting confessions from ponies, and it can be quite messy if done incorrectly.” Blueblood swallowed. "So, this is how I am going to do it. I am very angry with you. I know why. You know I'm angry, but you don't know why. And you also know all the things I could potentially be angry with you over. So, why don't you start listing things and I'll tell you if you're getting warmer or colder?”
“And if I'd rather not?” he asked, brushing himself off. It didn't help, as Robert walked around the end of the pool and shook himself off, drenching the white unicorn. Twilight didn't even bother with a full shield. Half of a pink bubble appeared reflexively and fell without fanfare.
“Then I take what I have to Princess Celestia.” Twilight said. There were very few ponies Blueblood was really afraid of. Twilight was one, Celestia was another. And the less said about the delivery of the papers from Luna requesting he make an appearance to answer the charges of dereliction of her duties. He'd proceeded to go missing for two weeks, not appearing until after the case had been dismissed due to him not showing.
“Very well. Is it the housing development in Ponyville?” he asked.
“What housing development?”
“The one I attempted to put in, in place of an apple orchard. The rudest red pony ejected my lawyer rather suddenly. And would you believe the mayor refused to do anything about him?” Twilight took a calming breath.
“Warmer.”
“No? Hmm... It wouldn't be my urban renewal project would it? The one to tear down all those ugly woods and put up some nice clean concrete?” Blueblood suggested, levitating another drink out of the house.
“No. And colder.” Twilight fought to keep her eye from twitching. Doing so would not serve her purpose.
“Not the rail spur into the Griffon Kingdom.” Blueblood noted. "That one even garnered your support.”
“At least until you tried to force your own rail laying company in as the sole contractor.” Twilight pointed out. "I suppose it's lucky we caught that. The griffons don't take kindly to ponies who try to cut them out of profits. Also, much colder.”
“Indeed.” he paused, tapping his chin. "Perhaps something closer to home. he took a sip. Ah, perhaps the inner city restoration project. Yes, knocking down all those ugly old buildings and building some nice new ones.”
“THAT'S IT!” Twilight used the royal Canterlot voice at point blank range. "What on Equestria were you thinking trying to knock down historically protected buildings to put up shopping malls!” Blueblood fell backwards under the force of her voice and spent several minutes trying to clear his head.
“I really don't see the fuss over some rattling old buildings.” Twilight drew in a breath. Robert touched her shoulder.
“Patience, princess.” was all he said. Twilight released the breath.
“Alright Blueblood. I'm going to do you a big favor. I'm going to give you two days to rescind this idiocy. If you have done so in the appointed time, I will forget the other two things you have told me. If not, I will explain them in depth, to Princess Celestia. Of course, I might just stay up too late for day court...” Blueblood, through some miracle of comedy, managed to blanch. For a long moment, he was very nearly translucent.
“Of course, I did not realize you felt so strongly on the matter.” he was backpedaling for all he was worth. "I will of course reconsider my hasty proposal.”
“Thank you for your consideration.” Twilight smiled. "I will see you again Prince Bluebood.”
“I look forward to it.” his tone said that he very much did not. Twilight took wing, followed by Robert. Once they were well away and out of both ear shot and line of sight, he looked at her.
“How does Celestia get confessions?” he asked curiously.
“She simply sits down and gives them a disappointed look. Most ponies are terrified of disappointing her.” Twilight replied. "I can't do it, because most ponies aren't worried about disappointing me. Of course, she's also had several thousand years of practice.”
“Ah. Why would doing it wrong be messy?” he asked.
“It's only effective if it works. If I fail, then they know it doesn't work and it's harder if I have to do it again.” she answered, swooping down to avoid a flying machine. Robert flared his wings and dropped several feet instead. "That makes sense. I guess that means Fluttershy would be a master interrogator.”
“Yeah, probably. Twilight laughed. "That would be worth watching.
---
“She threatened me!” Blueblood complained. Celestia sighed.
“With what precisely?” she asked. Blueblood paused.
“Lying about some schemes of mine.” Blueblood replied vaguely.
“Could it be the attempt to pave the local wild life habitats? Or the attempt to take control of Ponyville by making yourself the largest landowner in the area?” Celestia asked. "Perhaps it was the attempt to get the mayor impeached so you could take control of the town, and thus the Elements?” Celestia's eyes narrowed slightly. "Or perhaps just perhaps, she's still angry enough over your treatment of her friend that she's willing to make up something?”
“That last one sounds right.” Blueblood said. "I was rather offensive.” Celestia's eye twitched. She drew in a breath. No one stopped her. The only motion was that of the guards hastily jamming earplugs into their ears.
Several minutes later, a punch drunk Blueblood staggered out of the Princess' private office. He bumped one of the guards, came upright and proceeded to flee. Or attempt. He kept hitting things. One of the guards inside stepped out, and had a word with the guards outside. The pair of them trotted after the wayward noble, and braced him upright. Then they escorted him home. Several more guards arrived to take the positions of the two interior and the two exterior guards. The two who had been inside went to have a lie-down, after having the wax removed from their melted earplugs.
“I suspect, sister, that talking down will keep him out of trouble.” Luna said, stepping from the shadows. The guards were unphased. They'd seen it before.
“I hope so. My informant said Twilight barely kept calm.” Celestia replied, rubbing an ear.
“The butler you mean.”
“Yes, the butler.” Most ponies didn't know it, but the only school in Equestria that trained butlers was founded by Celestia. And every Butler it produced was wholly loyal, trust-worthy and absolutely would not blab a single word, or other mention of any black deed or mis-step made by an employer. Except to the princesses. No one ever suspected the butler, and they were so often the one to clean up any 'messes' made by their employers. She'd found out that it was easier to ensure the absolute loyalty of the butlers in the kingdom, than to try and infiltrate spies into every noble house. Powerful nobles would go without a leg more readily than without a butler. It was the reason she kept one, though his duties were mostly ceremonial rather than necessary. Luna had one, though his duties were far less ceremonial, but that was Luna's traditionalist nature. It wasn't as though an Alicorn really needed anything. Cadance had one, though exactly what her butler did was unclear. Shining Armor seemed reluctant to explain, and Celestia had decided not to pry. As for Twilight... well, it was easier to simply add the already incredibly loyal Spike to the roster as an official butler. He'd enjoyed the ceremony, and had passed the final test with the highest score ever recorded. Several of the others had been rather surprised, until he explained he worked for Twilight Sparkle. Since she'd never had a butler she hadn't driven off in a few hours. Except for Spike. They'd tried to give him a medal.
“Sister?”
“Sorry, just expositioning.” Celestia responded. "Where were we?”
“Discussing Blueblood and your attempts to keep Twilight from banishing him to the moon?” Luna said.
“Oh, right. She worked that out on her own you know?” Celestia said. "Wasn't even a project. Something she did over a long weekend.” She was both proud, and depressed. Luna noticed.
“What?”
“I'm just.. I had to rely on the elements to do it, and she figured out how one unicorn and a few low level magical instruments could have done the same thing.” Celestia shook her head.
“In combat?” Luna asked doubtfully.
“While being strangled.” Celestia sighed. "What was that quote about genius and insanity?”
“There's a fine line between them?” Luna asked. “Ah. I see. I wouldn't worry. Unlike your genius sister, Twilight has friends.”
“Was that what you needed?” Celestia wondered. "Would it have made a difference?”
“I don't think we'll ever know, but it might have. Which is why I've been making whatever friends I can.” Luna said. "It's pretty hard to do you know.”
“Yes. I do indeed know.” Celestia shook her head. "We should not be moping.”
“Then what should we be doing?”
“Celebrating.”
“What are we celebrating?” Luna wondered aloud.
“We, are celebrating Twilight successfully navigating the bureaucratic maze of the Equestrian legal system.” Celestia rummaged in her desk. Two tumblers appeared. She rummaged for several more minutes. "I could have sworn I had a bottle in here.”
“It wasn't a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres Special Reserve was it?” Luna said, peering into the trash can. Celestia's face fell.
“Yes.”
“It would appear someone else had some.” the bottle floated out in a silvery aura. “And left naught but the bottle behind.”
“That was my last bottle.” Celestia glared, melting the bottle. The molten glass proceeded to set the trashcan on fire, a moment before one of the guards put it out with a sand bucket. One did not guard the princess of the sun without firefighting equipment handy. “Come sister. We hunt! a deer stalker appeared on Celestia's head.” She started towards the door, clicking. Suddenly she was covered with fuzzy slippers.
“Be vewy, vewy quiet, we'we hunting alcohowics.” Luna said, giggling madly. Celestia raised an eyebrow, shook her head, and tip toed out in her pink slippers.
Chapter 25
“S-so, what do I do?” Scootaloo asked. She was standing in Twilight's lab. Rainbow was on one side, her grandfather on the other.
“Nothing at all, just stand right there.” Twilight said. "Test of Dill Whips Dazzling Dweomer-vision, take one.” Twilight's eyes, glowed brightly, and she looked over each of the ponies. "Well. You're all Pegasi.”
“No duh Egghead.” Rainbow said with a laugh.
“Sorry. Just gotta adjust the spell.” she closed her eyes. "Test of DWDDv take two.” she opened her eyes, screamed and closed them. "Okay, wrong way.” she took a breath. "Right, take three.”
“Twilight?” Gold wing asked. "You okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah, it's just hard to describe this. I'm seeing your power. Every pulse, every shift and jolt as it moves. The magic flowing through your veins, the magic that lets you fly.” Twilight took a breath. "It's like seeing rivers of power, coursing, rising and ebbing.”
“Umm... Twilight?” Scootaloo seemed concerned. "What are you talking about?”
“The power flowing through you.” Twilight answered.
“How can you see that looking in the mirror?” Rainbow Dash asked. Twilight said a naughty word. Fortunately, it was in griffon, a language which only one other pony in the room spoke. Gold Wing had to be helped off the floor after he finished his laughing fit.
“What's so funny?” Rainbow asked.
“What she said. I'll tell you later.” he coughed, and resumed his position. Twilight turned towards them. She spent half an hour looking at the three pegasi, careful to keep Robert and Spike out of her line of vision. She didn't want distractions, and so far she'd been unable to look at Spike directly. It was worse than a half-caught glimpse at Celestia. It had taken her several minutes to concentrate well enough to end the spell. At the end of her examination, she faced away from them all and ended the spell.
“Well?” Rainbow Dash asked. "What's the verdict?”
“There's definitely something odd with Scootaloo's magic.”
“Yeah, duh.” Rainbow said. "Do you know what?”
“No.” Three defeated looks. "However, I don't think it's anything wrong with Scootaloo.”
“What do you mean?” the orange Pegasus asked.
“All your magic is right, but it's... like it's not developed yet. At the same time, it's like it's... being constrained somehow. It's not unlike the inhibitor rings used in hospitals or on unicorn prisoners.” Twilight tapped her chin.
“Could it be something she's been exposed to very often?” Robert asked. "Perhaps something in her house that she touches or walks near?”
“It's possible. Captain, do you mind if we take a look?” Twilight asked Gold wing.
“Not at all.”
---
Searching through the house turned out to be more intensive than originally planned. So much so that soon both Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie were recruited, which helped, even if the latter would occasionally scream 'My Muffins' and vanish for a few minutes.
“Okay, so we've narrowed it down to three things.” Twilight said. "The bedstead, the bathroom sink, and the statue.” The bedstead was a huge four-poster, with canopy and inexplicably pink hangings.
“I don't want pink, but every time we change them, they turn into this. It was the shade of bubblegum pink after it's been chewed for a few hours. Even Pinkie thought it was awful.
“Hmm...” Twilight stared. "Oh. One of these. she pointed to a dusty plate.”
'My Little Princess, magical marvel bed.' it read. 'Manufactured by Discordant Industries, Canterlot'
“At some point, some ponies decided that all little fillies liked pink and so they made several hundred of these beds enchanted to turn anything attached to it pink.” Twilight shook her head. "It'd be a collectors item, but the spell is worn down. Let's see.” She laid down and launched a globe of light under the frame. Ah, there we are. Bibbidi, Babbidi, Boo. for a moment nothing happened, then the pink shaded hangings turned into a vibrant metallic pink. Several previously almost white ones near the base also turned into the same metallic pink. Scootaloo reached up and pushed Rainbow's jaw closed.
“Awesome.” Rainbow said, catching every eye in the room. "What, I like pink. It's the one color I don't have in my hair, and besides, metallic colors are way cool.”
“So, I take it's not the bed?” Gold Wing asked.
“No. Although, this is rather a rare one. The manufacturing number on it is eleven.” Twilight said, looking closely at the plate. "Rather rare if you ever decide to sell.”
“I think I'll keep it.” Scootaloo grinned, giving Rainbow a hoof bump.
The bathroom sink was next. It was pure cold iron.” Twilight burned her hoof just touching it. “Okay, so not nice, but definitely not the culprit.” She nursed the burn for a moment, before Gold Wing returned with some ointment.
“So that leaves the statue.” Everyone headed to the entry way. "In a way, I hope we're wrong about it.” Gold wing said.
“Yeah.” Scootaloo nodded.
“Why? What's special about it?”
“It was a gift, when my...” the old Pegasus choked up for a moment. "when Scootaloo's parent's died.” he excused himself for a moment. The statue depicted a pair of pegasi, wing to wing, inflight, holding up a cloud. The base contained a plaque: In Memory of Moonrise Light, and Flash Wing, heroes both.
“Grandpa doesn't like to think about what happened.” Scootaloo explained, tears in her eyes. Rainbow laid a wing on her back.
“I don't blame him.” Robert nodded. "If you'll excuse me.” he disappeared in the same direction as the old Pegasus. Twilight waited a moment, then reached for the statue. Her magic slipped off like it was trying to grip water.
“What in the world?” she asked no one in particular. Pinkie's eyes narrowed.
“My Muffins! then she was suddenly gone. No one commented. Then Spike spoke up.
“Twilight? Give it a blast of number 13.” she blinked, remembering the spell. A ball of light leaped from her horn, and hit the statue. For a moment it slid away, and then it turned blue.
“Nethreminium.” Twilight smiled. “And we've found our culprit.”
“Whosawhatium?” Rainbow asked.
“Nethreminium, is a particular alloy of iron, nickel and unrefined Adamantine. It's normally used in small quantities in inhibitor rings, because it can't be affected magically, and it disperses normal magical energy. It's very, very hard to work with, because even Earth Pony smith's aren't strong enough to forge it. Usually, it's wrapped in a special chemical coating that stops it's effects long enough for it to be worked into shape. This however, is untreated. It's almost pure, and I'd guess naturally occurring. I'll bet the entire statue was carved from a single piece. It's not particularly hard, so carving it isn't difficult.”
“Wait, how can it be hard to forge, and easy to carve?” Rainbow asked.
“It saps magic, so as the smith is trying to use their strength to hit it, it's fighting back and absorbing the strength being used. Carving it uses finesse, rather than brute strength, so there's nothing for it to sap.” Twilight explained.
“Ah. So we have to get rid of it?” Scootaloo asked.
“Not at all. In fact, I know an earth pony who might be able to help with the chemical treating process.” Twilight shook her head. "It's a bit expensive, but I can put this one on my expense report as a health and safety issue. Can't have a pegasus who can't fly.”
“That's very kind of you princess, but I think I can cover it. You've done more than enough already.” Gold wing said, returning with Robert. "Besides, it's only right that I do it.”
“That we do it.” Scootaloo said, hugging her grandfather's leg.
“So, does this mean Scoot's will be able to fly?” Rainbow asked.
“Yes, not right away though. She's been exposed for quite a while, so it'll take some time to catch up. One of the positive effects of Nethreminium is that it's very much not permanent.” Twilight smiled. "That's why it's used in the rings, because sometimes they have to be kept on for long periods and something that degrades permanently wouldn't be any good. Plus I suspect you'll have a magical growth spurt that comes along and mostly counteracts the effects. So Rainbow very much needs to keep up the flying lessons so you don't accidentally take off and hurt yourself. That would be very bad.”
“Yeah, trust me, as awesome as it looks crashing is no fun at all.” Rainbow said, and smiled. "Especially when you end up in the hospital.”
“Don't worry, I'm going to keep wearing my pads for a while until I get the hang of it.” Scootaloo grinned.
“That's the way.”
---
“War Master?” Robert called softly. The graying Pegasus was standing on the balcony. "You okay?”
“No. I thought I was.” he shook his head.
“Does it get any easier?” Robert asked, stepping alongside the ex-soldier.
“No, I am afraid it does not.” Gold Wing sighed.
“Ah.” they stood for a few minutes, then Gold Wing fluttered his wings.
“Let's go see if they've finished.” the gray Pegasus suggested, turning away. Robert nodded and followed him.
---
The next morning seemed brighter than ever, and not just because of Pinkie planning the best birthiversary party in ever. Robert promised to return in time for the party, and winged his way north towards Canterlot. His first stop was Trixie's apartment. He knocked, but she wasn't home. He dropped to the ground floor, and found her on stage, giving a performance. The audience was filled with colts and fillies, and he saw a sign. “Charity performance for Canterlot Orphans.” he smiled, and dropped some bits into the container. Trixie caught the noise, and smiled. She called up two volunteers and threw everything she had into the finale. Princess Celestia appeared to arrive on stage, and fling candy out to the audience. Then she disappeared in a flash of light and fireworks. The applause was thunderous. The chaperones filed the children out, and Trixie set to clearing the stage.
“That was an awesome finale.” Robert complimented. "I could have sworn that was really Princess Celestia.”
“I never miss a charity event.” Robert spun. There was nothing there.
“Trixie is also a ventriloquist.” the blue unicorn laughed. "I owe you a thanks.”
“For?” he asked.
“The most wonderful night I have had in a long time. she said. "I have not been the best pony around, and yet you went to all that trouble.
“Bah. I just flapped around. Rarity and Twilight did the hard work.” he retorted. "Besides, it wouldn't have worked without you.”
“Yes, but we would have spent years not getting around to it.” Trixie replied, glaring. "You will accept Trixie's humble and magnanimous thanks.”
“One of you would have slipped up soon enough. And then poof, Romance.” Robert pretended to swoon. Trixie let him thump to the ground. "Ow.”
“Serves you right for ignoring Trixie's heartfelt and sincere apology.” she said, sweeping more of the glitter up.
“Those are synonyms.” Robert said, rolling to his feet.
“Trixie is inarticulate and uncreative when she is angry.” she snapped.
“There's the Trixie I know and love to irritate.” Robert grinned. Trixie blushed. "Much better.”
“Right, yes, I'm still thanking you, but I also need to thank the others. she said, finishing the stage. A lamp floated into the center of the stage and clicked on. "There, now come up stairs and I'll tell you all about it.
---
“It went fine. We got the Princess Table, and we talked for a few hours.” Then they closed the place and we tried to pay. They wouldn't let us. Something about the meal being comped. It would have been fine, but they wouldn't let me fight to pay the bill, and Ghost Light started yelling, and then I was yelling at him, and the next thing I know, we were back here, and...” she turned bright red.
“I can guess.” he laughed. "So?”
“So what? We're going out again this Friday, after the late show. He says he remembered the dinner this time.” she smiled.
“So, is he as great and powerful as Trixie?” Robert asked.
“No one is as great and powerful as Trixie.” she snorted. "But he's pretty great.” she admitted.
“And powerful?” Robert asked.
“In his own way.” Trixie said with a flush. "In his own way.”
“Good. I think he agrees with you.” the Tiger smiled, and offered a hug. Trixie made a show of looking around, then wrapped a leg around him. “And now, as much as I'd like to stay, I have to go get a present and get back before Pinkie comes looking for me.”
“Oh?” Trixie asked. "What's the occasion?”
“It's Rainbow Dash's... Birthiversary.” Robert said. Trixie raised an eyebrow. "Her birthday, and the anniversary of her coming to Ponyville and Pinkie's doing an extravaganza to celebrate both of them. And after the events of the past few days, I completely forgot to buy a present.”
“Rainbow Dash...” Trixie tapped her chin. “The pegasus? Obsessed with animals?”
“That's Fluttershy.” Robert smiled. Trixie shrugged.
“Trixie cannot be asked to remember everyone she once tried to destroy utterly.”
“Of course.” Robert smiled. "She's the Pegasus, obsessed with the Wonderbolts.”
“Really? Ah, I have an idea then.”
---
“The EUP military forces museum? Robert asked. Are you sure?”
“Trust me, The Amazing and Inspired Trixie is always fantastic at gift selecting.” she flicked her tail in his face and started into the museum. Robert shook his head and followed her. She led him into the museum, and then through the Giftshop. It was organized by general merchandise, and the individual services. The back section contained replicas. Trixie led the way back against the wall, and pointed.
“Trixie, you are a genius.” she buffed a hoof.
“Trixie knows.” she smirked.
---
The party was just kicking off as Robert glided into the town. He ducked under a group of pegasi singing, and landed near the Library. The package strapped to his bags shifted as he landed and he stumbled. A tan and brown pony caught him. He said something Robert didn't catch and disappeared. Robert maneuvered through the party, avoiding the worst of the fun. Twilight appeared nearby at one point, and staggered up to him.
“Too much fun.” she moaned. "I've been getting drug from whip to whip for two hours. as though summoned, she was suddenly grabbed by another one. She reached out for him, but missed. "Help me!” she called before disappearing. He laughed. After a few near misses, he took wing and found Fluttershy and a few others sitting on the roof of Carousel Boutique, enjoying a much smaller, much calmer party. It was far less fun, which as Fluttershy pointed out, was the reason she was up there. Rainbow showed up part way through.
“Hey, why aren't you guys down enjoying the party?” she demanded. "They went to a lot of work.”
“I have been, but my ears were bothering me.” Robert shrugged. The others had similar complaints.
“Oh.” Rainbow's face fell.
“Don't worry about us. We're just enjoying it our own way.” Fluttershy said. "Besides, Pinkie keeps bringing us snacks.” on cue, Pinkie arrived with a tray of cupcakes, and a Flugelhorn on her head.
“Dashie, I think the band is getting out of hand.” Pinkie said, setting down the cupcakes and extricating herself from the horn. "Better go make a request.”
“Oh, yeah, right.” Dash grinned and vanished in a burst of rainbow light.
“How's everypony doing?” Pinkie asked. At the various affirmatives, she grinned. "Great. Don't forget to come down for cake.” she disappeared.
“Cake on top of cupcakes. Ugh.” Blossomforth tumbled over backwards, leg twitching. Bulk Biceps just shook his head. A pair of Pegasi took the opportunity to be sick. Fluttershy giggled and had another cupcake.
“Lightweights.” Robert chuckled. Bulk looked at him. "Metaphorically speaking.” Bulk nodded. “Come on, this can't be the first Pinkie party you've attended.”
“It's not.” Cloudchaser said. "Except, Pinkie usually exercises some restraint.”
“Since she was trying to out do Cheese Sandwich, she didn't.” Flitter explained. "So she's gone even more berserk than usual.”
“And then she expects us to eat cake.” Blossomforth said, then made it to the edge of the roof just in time. After a few moments. "When did I eat a party streamer?”
“Don't worry, I've been throwing them up since yesterday.” Fluttershy shrugged. Everyone stared. Including a just materialized Pinkie and Cheese Sandwich. "It happens at every party. The bigger the more often.”
“I'm sorry, I didn't know.” Pinkie opened her mouth to continue apologizing, but Fluttershy jerked her into a hug.
“It's fine. I expect it and the earlier I find out, the better the party.” Fluttershy looked her in the eye. “And don't apologize Auntie Pinkie.”
“But you're a year older than...” Pinkie glared for a moment. “Cloud Kicker?”
“Yeah.”
“Then where's Fluttershy?” Not Fluttershy pointed a hoof. Fluttershy was down by the stage, dancing with Twilight. Or rather, Fluttershy was dancing around Twilight's flailing hooves. She seemed to be trying to get Twilight to stop, but wasn't talking loud enough to be heard over the music. Pinkie laughed. Then she disappeared, only to reappear in place to startle Fluttershy into the air. The ponies on the roof, Cheese Sandwich included shared a laugh. Robert chuckled, and leaped into the air on the other side of the roof. Rarity was sitting at a table, breathing heavily, and obviously taking a break from the dance floor.
“Hello my dear.” she said, raising her cider glass to him. He smiled. She was abstaining from drinking this evening, that he could smell. "So, have you heard from Trixie?”
“Just today. Her date went fantastic. I was going to tell you about it, but I didn't get back before the party started.” Robert proceeded to regale her with the tale of the evening as he knew it.
“Oh my, it sounds like they enjoyed themselves.” Rarity said. “Anything about the dress?”
“Alas, no, though I only spoke to her. I didn't see him. I'll find out eventually. Robert said.
“Oh darling, you needn't go to any trouble.” Rarity said.
“No, no, I want to know too.” Robert smiled. "Besides, ladies don't kiss and tell, but I'll bet I can pull the story out of him.”
“You're awful.” Rarity said, but she smiled.
“Rarity? Might I have this dance?” Spike asked, coming up with a bouquet of daisies. Rarity smiled.
“But of course.” She stood and he led her out onto the dance floor.
---
Rainbow was on her way, slowly towards her house when Robert caught up to her. “Rainbow!” he skidded to a halt. Even Rainbow Dash was too tired to fly more than the distance from the ground to her house.
“Hey Robert, I'm just about to turn in. What can I do for you?” she said, tail dragging as she turned around.
“I didn't get a chance to give you your present earlier, and I didn't want it to get swept up in the others.” he reached up and pulled the package from his back, and set it on a table from the cafe they were passing. Rainbow looked at it.
“Looks like clothes.” she said.
“Just open it Birthday Girl.” he rolled his eyes. She leveled a look at him, but she could barely hold it. She reached up and ripped open the paper in which it was wrapped. Her jaw opened. Sound came out, but it was several moments before it worked.
“I don't believe it.” she held up the jacket. It was a replica of the jacket worn by Commander Easyglider, but it wasn't just a jacket. This one was signed by the entire active roster of the Wonderbolts, with Spitfire and Soarin' near the top. "This is...”
“Awesome?” Robert suggested.
“Beyond Awesome.” Rainbow slipped the jacket on. "How do I look?”
“The jacket is cool. You make it at least twenty percent cooler.” Robert grinned. "Plus it fits perfectly.”
“Yeah.” she smiled. "Thanks.”
“You're welcome. Happy Birthday.” Robert reached out and bumped her hoof.
“Thanks a lot.” Rainbow stood up and stretched her wings. "I hope I can get up there.”
“Want a wing or two?” Robert said, and flexed his.
“No thanks, I'm not up for a piggie back ride quite yet.” the cyan Pegasus laughed. "But, I'd take a wing mate for the flight up.” she admitted. "Nice to have someone to talk to.”
“Lead the way.”
“Always do.” Rainbow spread her wings and rose into the air. Her usual pep wasn't completely gone, but she wasn't moving at top speed. Robert followed her up. He paced her without much issue. Halfway there, she rolled over, and looked at him. "You know, you'd be a lot more flight worthy if you picked your legs up.
“Yes, but I'd be much less able to catch a certain drunken Pegasus.” he pointed out.
“I am not drunk.” She hit her head on a cloud. "Okay, I'm not very drunk.”
“Yes, so there's that.” she rolled over, ducked under a cloud and landed on her porch. "Want to come in for a few minutes?” she asked.
“No thanks. Have a good night.” she nodded, and he wheeled away.
Chapter 26
Twilight hated free fall practice. Especially over the reservoir. Standing on a cloud, nearly ten thousand hooves up, she was with Rainbow Dash and Robert. The former was standing on a cloud, the latter hovering just alongside. Naturally, they were arguing.
“You can stand on a cloud.” Rainbow snorted.
“I cannot. I have tried.” Robert replied.
“Look, it's no different from flying. If you have wings that lift you, you can fly.”
“What on Equestria do wings have to do with cloud walking?” he asked.
“The same magic that lets us fly, lets us walk on clouds. Just concentrate on drawing the cloud together, and make it solid.” the flying tiger crossed his legs and gave her a dubious look. "Just trust me.
He continued to look dubious, but he focused on the clouds and reached out tentatively with a foot. “I promise I'll catch you if you fall.” he closed his wings, and immediately vanished through the clouds. Rainbow blinked, then disappeared around the bottom of the cloud in a burst of prismatic light. “You need a diet.” she groused as they reappeared.
“I am a perfectly healthy weight.” he retorted. "Though perhaps I'm too heavy for the clouds.”
“NOT LIKELY!” Bulk Biceps yelled, pushing a cloud, while standing on another, buzzing his wings.”
“Show off.”
“Yeah.” Rainbow laughed. Twilight wondered how she managed to fail to see the irony. "Okay, enough arguing. Fun time. Up Twilight.” Twilight groaned, spread her wings, and flew up to Rainbow.
“Do we really have to do this?” she asked the pegasus.
“No, you two have to do this. I want to do it.” Rainbow grinned. “Come on, it's fun.”
“I fail to see how trying to purposely kill ourselves is fun.” Twilight grumbled.
“Then you're missing the point of the exercise Twilight. The idea is to fall and recover. You want to be as high as you can get, and then fall down. The wind will tumble and roll you, and you've got to recover without hurting your wings, or going splat. You're lucky, we're over a lake. It'll hurt if you hit, but nowhere near as bad as the ground.” Rainbow said.
“Yes, but still, hitting the water at full speed from this height is like crashing into a stone wall.” Twilight pointed out.
“Yes, which is why the point is to avoid that.” Rainbow grinned. "On my count.”
“Three.” Twilight looked up, and closed her eyes.
“Two.” Robert took a breath, and closed his eyes.
“One.” Rainbow smiled as all three of them closed their wings at once.
Down, down, down they fell, plummeting through the skies rolling and twisting and rocking back and forth. Twilight counted to ten, then spread the tips of her wings, stabilizing her fall, then oriented herself downwards. The wings opened, tilting to catch a bit of air. She slowed, slowed, and then she opened her wings, snapping upwards as she caught the wind. She flapped, holding position.
Robert fell past the first of the watch ponies, Cloud Kicker in this instance, holding five thousand hooves up. He stretched his tips out, turning his fall into a controlled spiral. Centrifugal force spread his wings out, and he stretched them, slowing his spins and continuing to fall nearly straight before he flared his wings and came to a holding pattern around two thousand hooves.
Rainbow's fall, contrary to appearances, was never out of control. Legs, neck, wing tips, even her tail all contributed as to control her fall, including the direction, pitch, yaw, and roll of her descent. Fifty hooves off the surface of the water, she twisted, flicked her wings and turned a terminal fall into an insanely fast swoop, just far enough off the water to slash through the wave crests with the tip of a hoof. She beat through the air, climbing fast at the end of her run.
“Awesome.” Robert smiled.
“Yeah, pretty awesome.” Twilight chuckled. She'd seen it before, but she never could get the hang of it herself.
“Yeah, I am.” Rainbow preened. "So, who wants to try next?”
“I think Twilight does.” Robert said. Twilight opened her mouth an instant before he lunged at her. She beat her wings, throwing herself up. He laughed maniacally as he sailed beneath her, and disappeared over the side of the cloud. She didn't see Rainbow grab her from behind, and over they went. Twilight struggled, and pushed free as they approached the half-way point. Robert flared his wings, slowing to meet them.
“This is crazy!” Twilight screamed over the sound of the air.
“I know, isn't it amazing!” Rainbow replied. Twilight calculated their altitude. Robert shifted and ducked in front. She felt herself speed up in his slip stream. "Great idea!” Rainbow tucked in behind her, then shot past him. Twilight felt the air change and found herself sucked into the lead.
“Break!” Rainbow shouted suddenly. Twilight popped her wings, pulled up and cut through the waves with a trailing hoof. Rainbow was just behind her, and Robert behind the Pegasus. Wings beat in the air as they lifted just over the surface of the water, and began to climb. They rose past cheering watch ponies.
“That was...” Twilight was momentarily at a loss for words. But only momentarily. "Incredibly dangerous!”
“I'd have gone with exhilarating myself.” Robert said. "Yours works too.”
“Oh come on. You're a better flier than you realize. You're like the best magician in centuries, but you keep thinking you're no good as a flier.” Rainbow puffed herself up. "You're wrong though. I know great fliers, and you've got the makings of a great flier in you.” she prodded the purple pony princess in the chest. "I'm going to bring it out, if it kills you.”
“It might.” Twilight replied, but she was smiling. Rainbow smiled, a very evil smile.
“Don't laugh just yet.” she smiled wider. “And get off my cloud.” she shoved. And found herself thrown backwards.
“Make me.” Twilight said. Rainbow twisted a hoof, and Twilight found herself without a cloud to stand on. Gravity took over. "That's not nice.”
“Really? You're gonna hate this then.” Rainbow lunged for her. Twilight folded her wings, fell and opened them again, catching herself. "Gotta be faster than that.” Rainbow grabbed her. Twilight twisted in her grip and grabbed her back. Gravity took a moment to catch up to the fact that neither of them were using their wings. They fell, twisting and tumbling, neither willing to give up first, struggling to break the grip of the other. Twilight had the extra size of an alicorn and the strength of an earth pony, but Rainbow had years of experience. A mere fifty hooves from the surface, Twilight's horn flashed, and they moved from falling through the sky, to sitting just above the surface. Then they fell in. The two didn't bother fighting in the water, but broke away and surfaced.
“Rainbow, you okay?” Twilight asked.
“Fine.” Rainbow replied, chuckling. "Neat trick. Where'd all that momentum go?”
“Momentum is just potential energy right?” Twilight asked. Rainbow shrugged. "Take my word for it. Anyway, it's impossible to destroy energy, you can only convert it. So the teleport just converts the momentum energy, into magical energy. Whatever is left, just disperses into the atmosphere.”
“Speaking of things in the atmosphere, where's Robert?” two heads craned up just in time to see him.
“CANNONBALLLLL!” he hit and the wave washed the pair up onto shore. He paddled up a few minutes later, spread his wings and shook. It took a couple of moments for all the water to leave him. "That was fun. Can we do it again?” he asked. Even Rainbow rolled her eyes.
---
“You're wet.” Fluttershy noted as Robert walked up her path. Several of the larger carnivores stared at him. He refused to make eye contact. "What happened?” she asked.
“Rainbow Dash.” he answered. She nodded. "What did you need help with?”
“Oh. Um...” she paused. "Well, see, if it's not too much trouble, unless it is then...”
“Fluttershy.” she stopped. "Look I heard about the assertiveness seminar.” she winced. "Try my version. Deep breath, then blurt it out.”
The pale yellow Pegasus inhaled until he was sure she was going to explode, and then spat it out. “Ineedhelpfeedingthecarnivores,andIcan'taffordmorefeed.”
“Ah. I wondered.” Robert said. "How do you normally get it?”
“Griffons.” Fluttershy said. Robert's eye twitched. "They bring bags of food, and drop it off for me. But it's expensive, because...”
“It's all got to come from outside the borders. Otherwise it's like eating other ponies, right?” Robert said. Fluttershy nodded, very nearly in tears. "What about the Everfree?” she stared off towards it for a few minutes.
“I don't like going in there. Even with friends.” she said. There was iron in her voice though. She would go if she had to.
“I meant, aren't there creatures in there, which are... not sentient?” she stared at him for a long moment. "That don't really have the higher thought processes. They can't talk, and don't really think beyond instinctive survival?”
“I guess.” she admitted. She was clearly not thrilled by the notion. "I don't, I couldn't...”
“I know. What I mean is, Manticores must have something to prey on, and bears can't eat only berries.” he pointed out.
“I, I see what you mean.” Fluttershy still seemed uneasy.
“Tell you what, how about I take some of the bigger carnivores into the woods for a few days? We'll make a hunting trip out of it, and it'll save you a couple of days of food.” Robert offered.
“I couldn't ask you...” Fluttershy cut off as he held up a paw.
“I understand that, which is why I offered.” Robert smiled. "Plus, how many of them have actually been hunting?”
“Well... a few of the older ones. Most of the younger ones have lived close to town most of their lives.” she admitted after a bit. "Umm...”
“What?”
“Can you talk to them?” Fluttershy asked.
“Like Pinkie on a Caffeine rush.” Robert said. Fluttershy started. "However, I doubt they'd understand me the way they do you.”
“Oh, right.” she giggled nervously. "Do you think it'd be safe?”
“Sure. Some of them will be more inclined, or capable of understanding me, and they should be able to help with the less capable or inclined.” he shrugged.
“Oh, yes. Come on, let me introduce you.” Fluttershy turned inside the house, gave a few instructions to several animals and then came outside, closing the door with a flick of her tail.
“How many do you think will be interested?” he asked, following her.
“Oh, quite a few.” she replied. There were a dozen large carnivores, all playing together in an environment not unlike the playground at the school. They stopped what they were doing to surround and talk to the Pegasus as she came into view. Robert sat and watched. Eight of them nodded in agreement when she made the proposal. She introduced them.
“This is Barry the Bear. He and his mate want to show their cub how to fish. The best stream is deep in the woods though and they don't want to take him alone.” Robert found himself wondering exactly what was in there that made bears afraid, and wondered even more readily if he wasn't making a mistake.
“This is Manfred.” she touched the Manticore fondly on the shoulder. He licked her from hindquarters to the top of her mane. "He prefers Manny, but his family wants to get closer to nature.” she left the exact wording vague. Robert expected the manticore wanted to get closer by eating some of nature.
“This is Bobby.” she said, and lifted a badger up. "He's a bit of a handful, but he thinks you look capable. the badger made a noise. Robert didn't quite catch it, not being terribly up on Badger. "Sorry, competent.” she corrected herself.
“No problem.” Robert shruggd.
“This is Derrick the Wolverine.” she patted it on the head. From the look on its face, she was the only being in existence from which that action would be tolerated. Robert had a sneaking suspicion Celestia would end up a three legged alicorn if she tried. "He's such a sweetie.” Every animal in the menagerie, including a certain white Rabbit suddenly found their paws incredibly interesting. Robert repressed a smile.
“I'm certain he'll be invaluable as a member of the group.” The wolverine glared at him. Robert looked back. After a moment, the carnivore seemed to decide he was being sincere. He was, figuring anything shy of a dragon would probably run screaming after seeing the wolverine. He was willing to bet most dragons would as well. His emergency plans also changed, from highly complex escape routes, and such, to a simple one: Hide behind Derrick.
“I just know he will.” Fluttershy gave the tiny creature a hug and moved on.
“This is Rita and Runt.” Robert shook his head to clear a flash of a cat and a dog to see... Well, it was a cat and a dog, but the cat was not riding the dog. In truth it was the other way around, being a bobcat and an indescribable terrier. "They're... complicated.” she didn't go into more, and Robert decided not to even bother asking.
“These are the twins.” They were twins. Twin eagles. "That's Jeff, and that's Larry.” she pointed, but Robert couldn't see any difference.
“Pleasure.” He extended a wing. One of the two, reached out and bit him. Fluttershy was decidedly angry.
“Robert, you shouldn't say words like that.” she chided. Robert said a few more. She didn't complain though, mostly because they were in Tiger. "Larry, you apologize.” the bird bit him again.
“Those two can't come.” he said later, as she bandaged his wing.
“I don't know why he doesn't like you.” she confessed. "They were excited to go but...”
“I'll pay for the feed they'll eat.” he said. "Just to keep them here.”
“You don't have to do that.” Fluttershy said, drawing in on herself.
“I don't have to. I want to.” he smiled. "Besides, what I spend in feed, I save in medical bills.” she giggled.
---
“Oh, but you'll miss Trenderhoof.” Rarity said, after Robert explained his trip.
“I'm certain he won't miss me, especially after he is dazzled by the beauty of the most fabulous designer in Equestria.” Robert said. Rarity fluttered.
“Well, I suppose.” she smiled. It was the kind of smile that, had he been a pony, would have caused him to go to incredible lengths to sweep her off her hooves. Since he wasn't he merely found it a pleasant expression.
“Besides, I would not want to take away from your moment.” Robert smiled. "Plus, I'm helping Fluttershy, and that's something I wouldn't trade for anything.”
“I agree. Now, what was it you wanted me to make?” she asked.
“Flags. Not all of the animals can be seen over the grass, and I think everyone wants to be sure they know where Derrick is.” Rarity coughed.
“Yes, he does have a very definitely dangerous nature about him, doesn't he.” she began drawing on a piece of paper.
“I was thinking murderously malevolent.” Robert suggested. "But yours is more tactful.”
“Yes, I rather agree.” she smiled, but her attention was on the drawing now.
He waited, sipping the tea she'd prepared for him while he waited. “Here you are, does this suit what you had in mind?” Rarity turned the paper towards him. There was a large, orange triangular flag on the side, with several purple diamonds on it.
“It looks good. What's with the diamonds?” he asked.
“Very simple, each flag will have a different number and size of diamonds on it. That way you can not only see they're there but also who it is.” Rarity answered.
“Ah, a stroke of genius, as if anything else could be expected from the amazing Rarity.” she smiled at him.
“Oh do go on.” she looked at him. "No seriously.”
“Oh, but I shouldn't use all my compliments at once, even as many as there are to be made.” he added. She laughed.
“Off with you then, so I can get these finished. Plus I have to finish the plans for the Ponyville Days festival.” she sighed. "It rarely gets easier does it?”
“Not that I've noticed, no.” Robert said. "Perhaps Spike would like to help with the Ponyville Days preparations.” he suggested. "If there's anything I can do?”
“Well. I do have to make a special delivery to Manehattan. I was going to send it through the mail, but it's been rather dreadfully slow lately.” Rarity said. "I don't suppose I could impose on you?”
“Certainly. Where would I be headed?” he asked.
“A small playhouse on Bridleway. You'll be looking for a pony named Coco Pommel. She's been doing costumes for a play, but the piece she sent here was simply beyond the materials she had on hand.” Rarity crossed the floor and extracted a box from a pile of others, and set it down in front of him. She opened the lid. He blinked as the light caught the jewels on the crown.
“An exact duplicate of Princess Celestia's Reneighessance era crown. Of course, I did it both to proper scale, as well as managing to significantly lighten it so that it will not injure the poor soul who has to wear it night after night.” she levitated it out of the box, and rotated it around so he could see. "Fortunately, we have a master goldsmith in our town, so I wasn't forced to do the work myself.”
“Master Goldsmith?” Robert asked, intrigued.
“Oh yes, a mare by the name of Fine Touch. It works out, because her husband is a master Blacksmith.” she paused. "Touch of Thunder. Yes, that's his name.” she smiled. "They're where I get all my buckles and fine jewelry.”
“Excellent. Mind if I start out tomorrow? It's a little late tonight.” he nodded out the window, the sun slowly sinking towards the horizon.
“Oh my, I didn't realize. Would you like to stay for dinner?” she asked. "I could cook.”
“Actually, I'd love to stay, but only if you let me buy.” he smiled. “As much because I've had all the greens I can take as anything else, and certainly no impingement on your cooking.”
“I am almost afraid to ask what you would eat besides greens.” Rarity said, with a slightly sickly smile.
“Fish of course. I know a restaurant that caters to griffons. Unless you'd be offended.” he waited. She thought it over.
“No, no more than I can handle at least.” she said.
“I'd rather not offend you since you're being so gracious.” Robert considered it. "I suppose a few more greens won't go amiss.”
“I couldn't ask you to eat more greens on my account, I'd feel even worse.”
“And I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable. Ah, I know the perfect answer.” he smiled. She raised an eyebrow.
---
“Pizza is served. Pineapple's and Black Olives for me, and Cheese and Mushroom for the lady.” he set the pizza's on the table. Rarity laughed. "This is not quite what I expected when you said Calabreseian food.”
“Yes, but there's nothing green on here but the peppers.” he smiled. "Don't get me wrong, I understand the herbivore lifestyle, but...” he shook his head. "Having no magic really sucks.”
“I can only imagine. Though earth ponies seem to get along well enough.” she said, and took a bite. "You must show this place to me sometime, this is delicious.”
“I will. And Earth Ponies don't have to try and transmute their food.” Robert smiled. “Also, pizza sauce.” he wiped his chin with a napkin. "But you're right, this is delicious.”
“So, a hunting trip huh?” Rarity asked.
“I'm not sure that's really dinner conversation.” Robert said, coughing. "I wouldn't want to ruin your appetite.”
“You can be spare on the details if you wish.”
“Very well, most of the animals in Fluttershy's rather peculiar... herd I suppose, have lived close to ponies for a long time and while they're not quite herbivorous themselves, they are as close as they can get. They're eating poor Fluttershy out of house and home. So I offered to take some of the bigger carnivores, and take them into the woods to get back to their roots. I don't know how Fluttershy really feels, but she seemed okay with it. I'm just going to make sure we go far away from any of the edges of the forest. That should keep everything out of sight, out of mind.” Robert shrugged. "I hope she doesn't get too upset.”
“Fluttershy is stronger than she appears.” Rarity said. "She might not like the idea, but she's understanding and accepting I suppose.”
“I know. It's...” he took a deep breath. "She knows, and I know she knows. Yet... I'd rather she not think that of me, though I know she doesn't think any less of the others.”
“Dear, I think you've got a bit of a complex there.” Rarity said with a bit of an amused tinge to her voice.
“I am thoroughly aware.” Robert replied. "My teacher told me I should learn to get over things like that.” he teared up. "But I never got over it!” He burst into tears. Rarity watched impassively for a couple minutes, until he opened an eye. "Too much?”
“Just a little.”
Chapter 27
“Hello, one day delivery service, at your disposal.” Robert said, knocking on Rarity's door.
“Good morning.” she said. She wasn't perfectly coiffed, but she had her hair tucked up tight. "I packaged it up, and stuffed the box with paper to keep it safe. Here's the address, and something to get you into the back of the theater.” She handed him a slip of paper. "Thank you ever so much.”
“Not a problem.” Robert tucked the paper into a harness he was wearing. "If you could put the box into the harness up here.” he nodded towards the center of the harness on his back. Rarity lifted it up and fixed the straps onto it. "Thank you. Rainbow helped me rig this up, so it won't fall off. I hope.”
“Here, let me check the straps.” Rarity snugged several straps and loosened a few others. Robert flexed his wings. "There, Rainbow Dash knows a lot about many things, but how to properly fit things is not at all among them.”
“Thank you. Now, I'd better get going, so I don't get there at night. I don't mind seeing the city over night, but I'd rather not crash into something because I'm gawking.” he grinned. Rarity smiled.
“Probably a good idea. Do you think you'll be back in time for the festival?”
“I don't know, but I've had to postpone the trip. One of the bears got some kind of stomach flu, and Fluttershy didn't want them to miss the trip.” Robert sighed. "So don't rush the flags if something else comes up.”
“I won't then. Good-bye.” she walked him to the door.
“Hello.” he said to Spike. The purple dragon raised an eye ridge. "Relax, I'm just making a delivery, not horning in on your girlfriend.”
“ROBERT!” the pair of them yelled at him, but he was already sprinting away to take flight. He got out of range of Rarity easily enough. She was talented but not too strong. Spike on the other hand, had range and power, and caught him on the tip of the tail as he took flight. He yelped, tucked a wing, rolled around and swooped towards them, the pair dove through the door, and watched him whip by, laughing like mad. He beat his way up, up into the sky. Several pegasi started as he winged by. A few broke off from what they were doing to fly alongside of him for a few minutes. He waved, but kept flying. After a couple of minutes Rainbow Dash appeared, and chivvied them back to work, before joining up on his wing for a minute.
“How's the harness?” she asked.
“Okay, Rarity adjusted the straps a bit.” he replied.
“Told ya she would. Hooves aren't really made for doing that kind of thing.” Rainbow grinned. "What happened to your tail?” he told her. She fell laughing from the sky until she smacked into a cloud. He shook his head, and continued heading away from town. The flight from Ponyville to Manehattan was not a short jaunt. It was three times as long as the flight to Canterlot. Since there was no rush at all, he took his time, enjoying the scenery. He passed several apple orchards as he went.
“I should probably see if Applejack is willing to be friends.” he thought it over for a minute. "Should probably also stop talking to myself.” he laughed and kept going. A low mountain range came into view. He'd not seen them on the map, but there they were. He tilted his wings, and angled upwards. He skimmed over the top of the mountains, and kept going. He nearly hit the peak, but flared his wings at the last moment, and landed on top. It was cold. Yet, it wasn't as cold as he'd ever been though, he was willing to admit that he didn't want to hang around. Fortunately, the mountains were not as high as Canterhorn, but still, they offered a breath taking view. He stared. Off to the east, he could see Baltimare, and Fillydelphia not far off course. He knew enough that the griffon lands were across the sea, and that those two places would have more griffons than he wanted anything to do with. After a couple of minutes of rest, while making sure to keep his wings moving so they didn't stiffen, he was ready to move on. He envied the fact that Pegasi didn't get cold the way he and other ponies did. Taking a running start, he leaped from the top of the mountain, spread his wings, and swooped down the mountain side, gaining speed to help him towards his target. He was sweeping out over the woods that dominated the area, when he came across a road. He turned and followed it, flapping his wings to gain altitude. As he did, he caught sight of something down a crossroad. He shifted his wings, and circled around. Two ponies were standing in the middle of the road, shoulder to flank, surrounded by a half dozen leather armored ponies. The two in the middle were unarmed, the armored ones had hoof-axes and short swords. Robert didn't consider a course of action for long. He pulled in his wings and dove.
The biggest of the brigands, suddenly found himself feeling like a Pegasus for all of the four seconds of his very short flight into a tree. Exhilaration and terror mixed into a potent cocktail for a moment before gravity and physics asserted themselves in the most painful manner imaginable, following a sense rattling impact with the tree trunk, with the mind-numbing pain of landing astride a branch. As though the universe had decided universally to put that particular pony through all the karmic justice it could muster, after impact, he fell sideways off the branch, into a patch of dense thorny bushes. The armor would do much to protect what it covered. What it didn't was in for a world of pain like nothing else.
The other ponies, started at the disappearance and flight of their leader didn't register that there were now three creatures in the middle of their circle, nor that one of the three was as big as the other two, and angry. And also comprised of a fair number of exceptionally pointy pieces. The first of the spear wielders found out just how dangerous this new occupant was, as he brought his spear around, only to find the end of it bitten clean off. A moment later, he screamed as he was jerked forward, pole vaulted over the occupants, and allowed to land on the pony on the opposing side.
The three remaining brigands shared a look over the top of the 'captives' and did some very quick mental math. In theory, the fight was now even. However, given the fact that he'd just wiped out three of them in rapid succession, even if the initial attack relied heavily on surprise, was enough to see them do the smart thing. They dropped their weapons and cantered into the forests. Robert roared after them, but didn't bother to give chase. There was no point, they'd lose him, or he'd get lost and worst of all, they'd circle back behind him. He turned to the two ponies he'd saved. They had moved around, and now the stallion was in front. Big and black with a white plow as a cutie mark, the stallion was nearly as large as Big Mac. The mare had a blue mane and red coat, but he couldn't see her cutie mark.
“Are you two alright?”
“Frightened, but unharmed.” The stallion managed after a moment. "Who are you?”
“My name is Robert. I'm a friend of Princess Twilight.” the name dropping did it's job, and both of them relaxed somewhat. Not completely, and he didn't expect it. No one relaxed completely around him, except Spike, since he was still an ingrained predator to the rest.
“Call me Plowshare.” The stallion introduced himself. "This is my wife.”
“Grape Juice.” he blinked. "Because my mane is blue and my coat is red. They make purple, and my parents are perhaps too clever for their own good.” she said, appearing from behind her husband. It took Robert a moment to place her cutie mark. "Yes, it's a wine press. And yes, I'm a teetotaler.”
“Tell me about it. My name was meant to make me a fierce warrior. he shook his head. And I end up as a shaman.”
“Robert's a little weird, but it's not that scary.” Plowshare offered helpfully.
“Yes, but that's the equestrian translation. In my tongue it means Fearsome Beast.” he sighed.
“That's a little more fitting.” Grape nodded.
“Thank you. So where are you two headed?” he asked.
“Merlot.” Grape answered, pointing up the road. “It's just a little ways past the woods. The ground is fantastic for growing grapes, and I've got a job working there.” she made a face. "Making wine.” Plowshare smiled and put a hoof on her shoulders.
“Don't worry, we'll save a little money, and start growing something else.” the stallion offered.
“You could always make grape jelly instead. Robert offered. "Same principle, but no booze.” Silence.
“This random stranger has a fantastic idea, we should listen.” Grape Juice said suddenly.
“Of course, it will be just that easy.” Plowshare replied.
“You're awfully smarmy considering I saved you.” Robert pointed out. The two ponies coughed. "I didn't mean right away, you've still got to learn to grow the grapes. Perhaps they already make grape jelly, and you can get transferred there instead.”
“Yeah, you're right.” Grape said, shaking her head.
“Sorry, just a bit of stress.” Plowshare said.
“Understandable. Would you like an escort to town? I'm making a delivery to Manehattan, but I can spare the time to walk with you if you expect more trouble.” Robert offered.
“To be honest, we didn't expect this trouble.” Plowshare waved. "I wouldn't want to keep you, but if you can spare the time...”
“I'd very much like you to escort us, if only we can leave before he wakes up.” she pointed to the bushes beneath the tree. There was no motion, but Robert got her drift.
“Then lead the way, and I shall watch our backs.” They started off, and compared to the ponies, he was silent. The trip didn't take more than a half an hour. The two ponies split off from him as he headed through town. He stopped and reported the incident to the Sheriff and gave him directions to the spot. The Sheriff nodded and sent him on his way, after finding out where he could be reached. Robert took flight from the edge of town, gaining height and then trading it for speed. It didn't take long to make up for the delay, and he swooped down towards the edge of the city just an hour before sunset. He landed, to avoid being trying to deal with the Pegasi who patrolled the skies. He doubted anyone flying into the city wouldn't be questioned, especially right before sunset. On top of that, an obvious predator would raise alarms.
Finally, it was simply easier to hold a conversation on the ground if someone did complain. It was either that or have to explain that he couldn't cloudwalk and then convince them it wasn't an act. The first pony he asked for directions to theater looked at him as though his brains had leaked out, which he was fairly certain was not the case. The second was a police pony.
“All roads lead to Bridleway.” the officer said. Robert glared at him. The officer laughed. "No, seriously, all the roads from the main gates lead to Bridleway, and the ones that run parallel are called streets.” he explained. Robert sighed at the pun.
“Right, can you tell me how to get here?” Robert showed him the address.
“Head straight in, then turn left, it should be about three blocks down.”
“Thank you very much officer.”
“No problem.” the officer moved on to another tourist. Robert headed into the city. The night life proper hadn't quite started, nor had the day completely wound down. He kept himself aware of the potential for muggers. Not that he was especially worried. The only thing of value he really had was strapped to his back. His bits were secreted about himself, in such a way that their retrieval required several moments of work on his part, or surgery on the part of anyone trying to take it without his consent. So while he kept an eye out, he wasn't too concerned about being robbed. He reached the main street and turned left. And nearly got run over by a wagon.
“HEY! WATCH IT!” the pony pulling the wagon yowled, continuing past. Robert took a breath, and decided not to make an issue. Getting arrested wasn't going to help anyone, least of all Rarity, or Twilight, when she came to bail him out. Or yell at him. Either way, he wouldn't enjoy the experience. Best to let water roll off his back. The crowd, he found, was completely unworthy of worry. They flowed around him, even the bravest of them only coming just within reach. Even so, had he felt like it, he could have taken down any of them with no chance of intervention saving them. He simply ignored it, since there was no reason to pay attention to it.
The theater was smaller than he expected, though in truth it was the same size as the theater in Canterlot. He knocked on the service entrance. A pony's head appeared.
“No Solicitors.” The door almost shut in his face. He jammed his foot in. The pain radiated up his leg as the door closed. The pony tried to open it so he'd pull the foot back, but he didn't budge. The door slammed again.
“I'm not moving, but that hurts a lot. Try it again, and I'm going to have pony for dinner.” he growled. The pony behind the door started. Robert limped through the door. "I am here to make a delivery to your costume designer. I was told to show you this.” he caught his wing on the door frame to steady himself, and used his now good leg to show the card Rarity had given him. The pony's expression changed.
“If you'd shown this first...” Robert's deep throated snarl cut him off.
“You didn't give me a chance. However, I am willing to forgive this considerable lapse in judgment and manners if you will direct me to the recipient.” Robert said.
“Oh, she's not here, you can leave that with me.” the pony said. Robert narrowed his eyes.
“I was given instructions that it was to be delivered to Miss Pommel. I do not know if you have heard of Rarity Belle, but I have and know her well enough that she is not to be trifled with, or disobeyed.” Robert was being perhaps more short than he should have been and realized it, but he was in considerable pain.
“She... she's gone home for the evening.” the pony replied.
“I see. Will she return in the morning?” he asked, trying to remain civil.
“Yes.” the pony said.
“Then so shall I.” Robert dropped to his three good legs, and limped out the door. He went a few steps down the alley, then spread his wings, or tried. It was too narrow for his span to get him up. He sighed, and leaped up to the fire escape on the neighboring building. Up to the roof. He looked around and found what he wanted. Two steps, hopped, and his wings beat downwards. The Hospital was pretty hard to miss from anywhere in the city, and Robert had had a pretty good view of it. He landed just outside the emergency room, and hopped to the door. A nurse appeared just before he reached it and opened it.
“Are you alright?” she asked stupidly.
“No, I injured my leg and I'm in rather a lot of pain.”
“Right of course, come in, and I'll grab a doctor.” she disappeared, and Robert settled himself on a bench. He'd expected a wait, but she returned in a few minutes, with a slightly older, and much calmer nurse.
“She said you limped up to the doors?” he nodded. "Left leg?” he nodded again. "Quiet or just in lots of pain?”
“The latter.” he managed.
“Alright, come with me. I'd offer a gurney, but we've not really got anything big enough for you.” she said. Robert nodded, moderately annoyed. Even Ponyville had one big enough for Big Mac and he was nearly the same size. He grimaced as he bumped his leg standing up. "Sorry, watch out.” Robert kept his thoughts to himself.
“Hello, I'll be your examiner tonight.” said a cheerful Unicorn mare. Her cutie mark was a moderately gruesome half a leg with an exposed bone. The deep blood red of her coat, and bone white of her mane did little to assuage feelings of discomfort. They helped him onto the bed and stretched his leg out on a table. The examiner's horn glowed and then so did her eyes. "Ooh, what happened?”
“Tried to make a delivery, and got a door slammed on it a couple of times.” Robert said. "Not the most pleasant of greetings.”
“Ah. A minor hairline fracture.” The spell changed slightly. "No nerve damage that I can see. Wiggle your...”
“Toes.” Robert finished and did so. “Argh.”
“Pirate impressions are not appreciated.” the pony said. "Does this hurt?” she wiggled one of his toes. He said something unprintable. "I'll assume that's a yes. she examined him for a minute longer. "There we are.” The pain began to subside.
“Thank you. What happened?”
“The blow pinched a nerve. It was radiating up and down the leg, probably in time with your pulse I would guess. So I just freed the nerve.” she smiled. "Probably should try and stay off it for a few days, give the fracture a chance to heal. And keep it out of doors.”
“I shall endeavor to do so with all available alacrity.” he answered. "I don't suppose you can recommend a not too pricy hotel for the night.”
“The Maremont is a couple blocks south. The Skybox is a little closer, but it's slightly more expensive.” she considered it. "The rest of them in the area are kind of disreputable.”
“The Skybox?”
“It's a Pegasi Hotel. Solid Floors, cloud beds. Incredibly soft. They wrap them in cloth so those of us who can't walk on clouds can sleep on them.” she smiled at a memory. "Been there a couple times. Nice place.”
“Thanks, I'll check it out.” he stood carefully, gingerly putting weight on the injured leg.
“Doubting me?” she asked playfully.
“Not at all, just making sure.” he replied. He limped to the door and nudged it open. He moved carefully to the desk, using his wings carefully to balance himself. "What's the charge?” he asked.
“Free.” the nurse said. Robert raised an eyebrow. "First physical always is.” she said.
“That wasn't a physical.” Robert pointed out.
“Yes, but it was such a minor injury, that it's not worth the effort of putting it down as anything else. Besides, this way I don't have to go through a bunch of paperwork.” she smiled. He smiled back.
“Thank you then.” he shifted his weight, and extracted a small pawful of bits. "Here, split this up between the three of you.” she opened her mouth. "For services rendered.”
“Okay.” the bits vanished off the counter. He turned, and whistled as he hopped out the door, not wanting to set his leg down until he was in bed. He leaped into the air, and flew upwards. The doctor's directions had been excellent and shortly he found himself following a couple of young pegasi into a landing pad.
“You're in luck.” the mare at the desk said. "You're the last of the late check-ins we've got room for.” she passed him a room key. It wasn't a normal lock key, but a unicorn enchanted crystal. It would open the door, and close it. He went up the stairs, and into his room. The bed was as insanely soft as he expected, and he snuggled into the blankets, without piling them on top of himself. He stretched his leg and fell asleep.
Chapter 28
Robert woke with a stiff leg and an even stiffer neck. He'd twisted at some point, with his head pushed up between two pillows, and a wing stuck out in the air. The leg was hanging off the bed, and the muscle had swelled somewhat overnight. He flexed his toes, and was pleased to see them move. At least those were working. It took a few minutes more to work the kinks out of his neck, but he managed it, and then pushed upright, or tried. Cloud beds are insanely soft, which is both a benefit and a draw back. While they make for an incredibly soft surface to sleep on, they give even water beds a run for their money in lack of traction. Robert found himself on an oversized slip and slide. He could have used his claws for traction, but he didn't want to damage the bed. After several minutes of trying, he managed to get himself into an upright if not sitting up position. Lying there, trying to get his wings to synchronize and co-operate, he suddenly had the urge to kick himself. He had WINGS. That meant that he didn't need traction to get up off the bed. He attempted then to apply face to mattress, as he'd done before, only to find himself sinking into the bed, despite the cloth. His wings finally settled their differences and beat once, lifting him up out of the bed. He managed to stand up so that when he landed, back in the bed, it was in a standing position. His leg hurt like mad, but it was working and he was glad to be able to stand on it. He walked, slowly and carefully to the edge of the bed, and stepped onto the floor gingerly. The leg didn't hurt nearly as bad after he'd worked out some of the stiffness by walking to the bathroom and back. He checked on the crown he was delivering and found it still in place and still intact. He checked out of the hotel, and offered the key back. The mare, the same one who was in at the desk the night before, shook her head.
“The keys are souvenirs. We enchant a bunch of them, and they lose power after a day or so. Anyone that stays longer gets a key they return, in addition to the souvenir. Any time a key doesn't get used, they just get reenchanted. she shrugged. "Plus it keeps ponies and such from taking OTHER souvenirs.” she winked at him. He laughed.
“Thanks, have a great day.”
“I'm off in half an hour, I'll have a great day then.” she laughed. Robert trotted gingerly out the door. He reached the platform, saw no one coming or going, trotted forward, then leaped from the edge of the platform and swooped away into the sky. The sky was thick with Pegasi as he approached Bridleway, but getting through them was a lot easier than through the ponies on the ground, since there was a third dimension to move in. He joined a throng on it's way past the theater, and dropped out of them just as they flew by. He caught himself and landed on the building across the street. He went down the fire escape and dropped off the lowest section, using his wings to cushion his landing as much as possible in the confines of the alley. He knocked again on the side entrance. There was a different pony this time.
“Hello?” the pony asked. “Can I help you?”
“I'm here to make a delivery to Coco Pommel?” Robert said and offered the card. The stallion examined it, then nodded. "Follow me.” Robert stepped inside, and followed the pony. A white coated pony with a two-tone blue mane was fussing over one of the costumes. "Ms. Pommel?” The stallion called. She held up a hoof, pinned the costume, and then turned to them. She started at Robert.
“Umm...” she managed articulately.
“I've got a delivery from Rarity Belle?” he offered, nodding at the box on his back.
“Oh, she didn't mention the delivery would be...” she shook her head. "Right, did she give you anything?” he pulled the card out and showed it to her. “Ah. I see. Well, that's very nice. Here, let's get that off you.” they struggled for a moment, when one of the actors arrived, and laughed at them.
“Hey, if you think you can do better.” the stage hand helping said. The unicorn actress laughed again.
“Of course, I can, I only need act like I know what I'm doing.” she posed. "Fortunately for you, I am an excellent actress.” her horn glowed with a bright red aura, and deftly undid the straps, then set the box down where Coco pointed. The box opened, and she inspected it for damage, but found none.
“Much better quality than what we've been using.” the unicorn actress chuckled.
“Hey, it wasn't that bad.” Coco defended.
“Sweetie? It was a Hayburger crown.”
“They give them away free.”
“To foals.”
“I paid that little filly good bits.” Coco replied. “And don't call me sweetie at work. I thought we talked about that.”
“I'm not working. Nothing that's this much fun could be called work.” the unicorn said, tossing her head. "Besides, you agreed that, I didn't.” she grinned. "Then again, considering what you were doing, I'd have agreed to just about anything.” Coco's face flared.
“N-no talking about that either.” she said.
“Well excuse me, if your cooking is amazing.” the unicorn smirked. Coco's face changed from embarrassment to outrage.
“You, you...” Coco spluttered. The actress kissed her forehead.
“You're so cute when you're righteously indignant.” she said, and then levitated the crown on her head. "Pay the... Tiger, and let's go annoy the director instead.”
“Oh, no need, I'm just doing a favor in exchange for a favor.” Robert pleaded.
“I insist.” Coco said, and dropped a bag of bits into his paw. “And I will not take no for an answer.” the unicorn threw a leg over her shoulders and hugged her close.
“That's my girl.” she laughed. "Have a safe trip.” she said to Robert, and drug the furiously blushing Coco off to presumably annoy the director. Robert shook his head, tucked the bag into his harness, and followed the pony who'd opened the door out.
“Thanks for not making too much of a scene. She tips everypony and some of them get all haired up about it.” he shook his head. "I know, she's trying to follow her idol's example, but she goes a bit too far with it sometimes.”
“Don't worry, I had to make at least a token effort.” Robert shrugged. He waved good-bye to the pony, and walked to the end of the alley. The question became, very quickly, whether to hang around Manehattan, or fly... home. True, Ponyville wasn't where he intended to settle, but for now it was home. It was also unfortunately for the next few days, going to play host to the utter imbecile known as Trenderhoof. And Robert was in no mood to have anything to do with the stallion. One might, correctly suspect that Robert lacked any particular interest in fashion, not least of the reasons being that all around him was pony fashion, which was fittingly enough being worn by ponies, and thus beyond his scope of interest. Indeed, it might be considered strange that such an unfashionable being would have even the vaguest recollection of exactly who Trenderhoof was, much less why Rarity had interest in meeting him.
However, the reasoning behind his knowledge and thus dislike, was entirely the fault of Rarity. If one were to spend time in her waiting room, one would discover only two types of magazines in her possession, and only one of these was the type that Robert had any interest in being found reading by any customer who happened to come in while he waited to talk with Rarity. So he knew more about fashion than he'd ever wanted. But he also knew enough to realize what kind of pony Trenderhoof was, and the answer, was not the kind of thing that he had any interest in sharing with any of his friends, particularly not the ones with easily hurt feelings. Fluttershy would probably understand though. So he decided to hang around town, and do a little shopping.
It was not that he enjoyed shopping. Truth be told, he considered it a chore more than anything, though in this case, the sheer variety made it more interesting. More though, he was shopping for friends, and that made it tolerable, if not enjoyable. The bag of bits he'd been given wasn't excessive, and he hadn't really expected it to be, but he was both careful and shrewd when it came to buying. His first stop was a store that sold certain items that required personalization and they specialized in it. He found exactly what he wanted there. The owner seemed surprised, as much at what he bought as who he was. The next stop was quite frankly an assault on his senses. It wasn't that the aromatic candles smelled bad, but to his nose, it was a horrifying cacophony of overlapping smells. He left with a purchase in a tightly sealed bag, paid well for, and a headache which was free of charge.
Twilight was an easy buy, especially once he found it in the rare bookstore. The manager had seemed to be very surprised anyone wanted to buy it, as much as the fact that he was finally managing to sell it. It was a little more expensive a gift than he'd intended, but... Pinkie, well, she wasn't too difficult to shop for. A selection of humorously themed cookie cutters, and a streamer gun. He'd even gotten a return customer discount when he mentioned Pinkie's name while trying to decide on the model of streamer gun.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were the hard ones. The former because he didn't know terribly much about her. The latter because her interests were so narrow as to make her hard to shop for. He decided to wait and see if anything came to him regarding the orange earth pony and focus on Rainbow Dash. What did he know? She liked to go fast, which was not exactly a spectacular help, she liked the Wonderbolts, but he'd covered that pretty well with her birthday, and he wasn't sure anything except gift wrapping one of them could top what he'd already given her. She liked Daring Do, but there wasn't really a lot of memorable items. Signed copies were always nice, but it just wasn't special.
Ugh, two friends to try and work out what to buy for. Fluttershy wasn't as easy as Twilight, yet nor was she as hard as the terrible twosome. The pet store knew just what he wanted. It would require some assembly, but he knew a handy mare who'd jump at the chance to help.
Trotting from down town through a residential district, he heard screams of terror and turned just in time to see an orange filly, with a pink mane come pelting out of an alley, followed by a brown coated filly with a blue mane, and a very familiar yellow coated, redmaned filly, with a bow in her hair. Before he could ask what Applebloom was doing there, she screamed and pulled the other two behind him. Three more young ponies appeared around a corner.
“Robert, help!” Applebloom said.
“You know dis guy?” Babs asked.
“Yes.” Applebloom managed.
“Hey, you, gets outta our way. We's got some blank flanks to pound.” The none too bright leader of the group demanded. The two followers were slightly more intelligent and started to back off.
“Alright you three Goomba's don't moves a muscle.” Robert barked in a sharp impression of Babs accent. "Now you's got's me curious here. I'm wondering just what braincell, what is shared between the three o' ya's makes ya think I'm gonna let that happen?” the three froze in place.
“Now me, I come to this here fine city, on account a my boss asked me to whack somepony and after I'm on my way home to some relaxin', well deserved I might add, I run's into the three o' you harassin' my little friends here. You's gots somethin' to say fo' you'seves?”
Silence dominated the air for several moments until Robert broke it.
“I thought as much. Now you little miscreants, this is what's you gonna do. You's gonna apologize to the ladies, and you's gonna mean's it, then we's gonna be real perfect gentlecolt's and offer to escort them home.” Robert eyeballed them, nearly making one of the three lose control of his bladder. "Then you's gonna be good colts and be friends with thems as lives here permanent-like. And you's gonna protect them from the other bullies. Because if I hear's a word about you bullyin' dem again, I'm gonna come back and take care o' you, on the house so's ta speak. Capisce?”
“Capi-what?” the leader asked, brows furrowing.
“Capisce. It means 'I understand.'” Robert explained, careful to maintain his accent.
“Oh, yeah. Capisce, right boys?” The other two nodded immediately. "Look uh... ladies, we're real sorry about you know...”
“Being bullies?” Babs questioned.
“Pulling my tail?” the brown filly asked.
“Pickin' on mah accent?” Applebloom asked.
“Yes.” The three answered.
“Alright, I guess...” they answered after a moment.
“Can we... may we escort you home?” asked one of the more intelligent colts. The girls backed away, and talked it over amongst themselves.
“Yes, you may.” the brown filly said.
The colts followed the girls home, and dropped their friend, who he learned was called Jewel Mark, at her place, then took Applebloom and Babs to her parents. The girls went inside, and Robert turned his attention to the colts.
“Alright, the three of you go home, and I don't want to hear nothing from my little friends that you've been anything but helpful and nice, got it?” the colts nodded vigorously, and bolted. Robert glared until they were out of sight, then snorted with laughter. He turned to start away,but heard a voice.
“Hey, Robert?” Applebloom was at the door.
“Yes?”
“Aunt Seed said she'd like to meet you.” the yellow filly said, then she looked back at the sound of a voice he couldn't quite hear. "She'd also like you to stay for dinner.”
“What's for dinner?” Robert was fairly certain that if he ate any more leafy greens, he was going to turn into a head of lettuce.
“Mushroom Soup, Tofu Loaf, and Cheesecake for dessert.” Applebloom said.
“In that case, I'd be delighted.” Robert trotted up the walk and into the house. Babs mother was a strawberry roan earth pony with a dark red mane. Her father, he learned was rather surprisingly a pegasus with a bright pink coat, something which embarrassed him to no end, for reasons Robert could fully understand, and an equally embarrassing yellow mane. His tail on the other hand was jet black. Robert repressed a comment, but...
“And yes, I'm fully aware I appear to be the universe' most garishly painted caution sign.” he said it with sufficiently good nature, that Robert figured he'd heard it often enough to decide getting ahead of the joke was a good idea.
“I was going to say that you're lucky you produced a filly who takes the best of you two.” Robert said, pretending to be offended. "Of course, since you did bring it up, you could do wonders on the police force. Nothing like living caution tape to brighten up a crime scene.” Silence reigned for a long moment before the pegasus snorted with laughter.
“Oh, a jokester. So, do you double as a construction cone? Or do you always look like you've been run over?” the stallion jabbed. Robert snorted.
“Were you born following a horrible accident in a cotton candy factory?” he returned. A chorus of Oohs, Aah's and Aigh's accompanied each zinger as they appreciated a launch and return, and ate spoons of too hot soup respectively.
“If I pull your tail, do you strobe?” the stallion grinned. Robert took a moment to work out what 'strobe ' meant and then he chuckled.
“Does that mane glow in the dark when you get left out in the sun?” Robert asked.
“Only if I don't apply sunblock.” the stallion grinned. "Do you use magic to change your stripes?”
“No.” Robert said, breaking the rhythm. The stallion blinked.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.”
“It's alright, you didn't.” Robert said. Applebloom saved the day.
“Robert explained it to me Uncle John. Stripes to a tiger are like Cutie Marks to a Pony.” she clarified. "I know Cutie Marks can't be changed, but I guess stripes are the same?” she looked askance at Robert.
“Indeed. Though sometimes they will change on their own.” They seemed surprised. "Our talents are not so closely defined as those of ponies.” Robert shrugged.
“Ah, I see.”
“This is delicious.” Robert said, taking another bit of the Tofuloaf. "What's the secret?”
“Fresh Parsley. The dried kind just doesn't do it.” Babs mother smiled.
“It doesn't hurt that my dear Soy makes her own tofu.” her father said.
“Johnny, you know I don't make that much.” Soy shook her head.
“Yes, but what you make is awesome.” he said, and took a bite himself. The conversation lightened after that, until the meal was over.
“Well, I guess I'll be going.” Robert said, standing up, and stretching.
“You're welcome to stay on the couch.” Johnny offered. "I'd offer the guest bedroom, but we don't have one.” the others nodded agreement.
“Very well, I can't refuse such a polite offer, though I think I'll take the floor, rather than the couch. I'd rather not break your furniture.” Robert spent the night, wrapped in a couple of big blankets. The next morning, on his way out, he volunteered to walk the girls to school.
“Why'd you wanna walk us to school?” Applebloom asked.
“Two reasons. One, because if I stay at the house any longer, I'll keep getting invited to stay, and then I'll never get back to Ponyville.” Robert chuckled. Babs laughed.
“And the other one?” Babs asked.
“I wanted to impress further upon the bullies that I am looking out for you.” he smiled darkly. "I'm very serious, by the way, if they bother you, send me a letter. I'll come back and give them a refresher course in abject terror.” Robert laughed. Neither of them joined.
“That's kinda creepy.” Applebloom pointed out.
“I suppose it depends on the circumstances.” Robert shrugged. "Now, I have to figure out what to buy Applejack.”
“Why dja want to buy Applejack somethin'?” Applebloom asked. "Yere not sweet on her are ya?”
“Um no, definitely not.” Robert managed after a moment.
“You sayin' my sister's ugly?” the little yellow filly asked.
“Nope, but my fiancee might not like me dating ponies, or anyone else for that matter.” Robert said. Applebloom coughed. Babs raised an eyebrow. "However, I've bought something for each of my friends, except Applejack and Rainbow Dash. I have a bit of an idea for Rainbow, but I'm completely at a loss for Applejack. Any idea?”
“Maybe.” Applebloom said. "What'd you get me?” she asked, blinking her eyes at him.
“Present.” he replied. "Not telling, so don't start.”
“Awww...” Applebloom sighed. "She needs a new hatband.”
“Too practical. Doesn't she have any hobbies?” he asked.
“Nah, it's pretty much work, work, and more work.” Applebloom said.
“Why don't you get her something she'd never get for herself?” Babs suggested.
“Sounds good.” he considered it for a long moment. "Yeah, I think I know just what to do.”
“Umm... hello sir.” the colts from the night before were standing just inside the school grounds.
“Ah, I see's you's remembered respect for you's elders. This is good.” he waved a paw.
“Hello, girls. Can I help you with your books?” one of the others asked.
“Ummm... no thank you.” Applebloom managed. Robert saw them into the school, keeping his eye on the colts until they were out of sight. Then he turned and started downtown. The store he wanted, was one that had caught his eye the day before, but he'd been unsure if it had anything he wanted. Now he was certain it did, and he wasn't going to let it get away. The shop keeper was somewhat surprised to see her customer, but managed to stammer out a greeting before seeming a complete fool. Robert was perhaps among the last type she'd ever expected to see in her shop. Much less when he explained exactly what he needed. She was quite frankly dumbfounded, but agreed that she was the right place to go. It took nearly two hours, but the item was found and purchased, and tucked, safely and secretly in the bags he wore. There was of course, still Rainbow Dash. That was still proving absurdly problematic.
The mare was perhaps too simple, which was entirely the problem. If it could help her go fast, she wanted all she could get. If she could build a stunt around it, fantastic. If you could combine those? All the better. Add a Wonderbolt logo? She'd do anything you wanted. She was flat out over the moon for Daring Do. Unfortunately, there was only so much merchandise available, since the books weren't that popular. Which, Robert found something of an affront. He'd read them, most of the tigers he knew had. Perhaps even more than ponies, Tigers found action packed stories like that exciting. As much because the hunts they participated in now were more ceremonial than anything else.
Of course, a few tigers knew the author. Personally. Most simply knew who she was. The few that knew her personally, not a group Robert counted himself among, though not for lack of trying, were sworn to secrecy. And tigers took oaths like that very deadly seriously. He'd found out about it, and then never bothered to ask again. It wouldn't do any good. Not that he wanted to learn that way if it'd been closed off. That was part of the fun, the excitement. The tigers had all grinned at him, the pleasure of knowing a secret they weren't allowed to share, but one that they treasured all the same. He'd found them all, asked, not about the truth, but the oath. They'd all taken it, not that he'd expected any less. But you had to ask.
He'd spent a few summers hunting the truth. He'd never found it. Then he'd been side tracked by his training as a Shaman. He considered for a long few minutes finding out. It'd be a gift without price for Rainbow Dash. Then dismissed it as a fools notion. He couldn't find out in the time he'd allotted himself, and it was a waste to try.
So what else could he do? Presents such as those he might find for Rarity or Twilight, or even Applejack were out of the question. He could find things by the dozen for the others, even Applejack if he were to accept she had no life outside of work. But Rainbow Dash? True, she did have a job. She was a topflight weather pony. She'd proved her ability to control the weather with ease. Something he envied since she did it almost instinctively while she flew.
Of course, the fact that he'd learned to glide if not fly also did something for that. Wings were sensitive to such things, and while he'd not particularly cared about that, magic had a mind of it's own and had included it as part and parcel of the wings he'd made. Of course now that he was temporarily stuck with them, he could feel the weather, even as he sat watching the pegasi work it. His wings twitched, trying to urge him into the air with them. The fact, that he was still afraid of heights didn't factor into their urges at all. He pulled away, and headed further downtown. There were shops there, but he didn't even want to consider what she'd want out of those.
Passing through, he reached an area he'd never expected to find in a Pony city. A weaponsmithing area. There were dozens of blacksmiths, and armor and weapon smiths. He slowed down. Perhaps? Not a weapon, certainly. She wasn't for jewelry, or anything that would slow her down. He smiled suddenly and idea taking hold, and started talking to smiths of all varieties, to find who he wanted. It took a little more doing and a little more time than he'd intended to spend, but it would be worth it.
Hard Place was the perfect name for this particular smith, because he was as immovable when it came to negotiation, as his armor was when struck. Robert found himself pouring on the charm, and when that failed, trying to cajole him. The ash grey stallion, with a shaved mane, and leather wrapped tail was not the kind who could be intimidated, nor charmed by Robert's talent's at least. If he'd had Rarity or Fluttershy, he had no doubt they'd have no problem with it, but Robert lacked something they had.
“Look, I don't care. Posted prices are posted prices.” Hard Place snorted. He hadn't stopped his hammering once. Robert didn't mind in the slightest. The process fascinated him.
“Even for something you've never created before?: Robert countered. The heat was bothering him a little, and he carefully had his wings pulled away from his body, to allow air to circulate. He was keeping them still though. The forge could be sensitive to currents, and setting the place on fire was unlikely to help his cause.
“I've made everything. That's why I have a list of prices.” Hard Place answered. Robert sighed. With a cutie mark of a hammer and anvil, separated by a shield it was not hard to see where he'd gotten the name from. Still, Robert wasn't about to give up. This Hard Place had found a Rock.
“How much will you knock off if what I want is something you've never done before?” Robert asked, changing tactics. Hard place paused for a moment, the first time since Robert had arrived. He dropped the piece back into the coals to heat again and turned to look at him.
“The same fifty bits I'll add to the price if you're wrong, if it'll get you to leave my shop.” he said after a moment's consideration.
“Deal. I need a helmet, collapsible and capable withstanding an impact of three G's or greater, which when collapsed minimally impedes aerodynamic drag on a Pegasus in flight.” Robert said and waited.
“Fine, fifty bits off. I don't do the enchanting myself though.” Hard Place grunted.
“Don't worry, I've got another source for that.” Robert shrugged.
“Deal.” Hard Place offered his hoof and they shook. Robert offered to help, but Hard Place shook his head and waved him off. Robert hadn't expected to be told to help, but it was polite to at least offer. He sat down and watched.
Hard Place, he noted, hadn't even asked about fitting, which Robert found out wouldn't be necessary. “Why not?” he asked.
“If you're having it enchanted, it's a simple enough matter to add a fitting enchantment. Just make sure you let the enchanter know. Some of them forget. It's a pain to add it later if they do.” Hard Place sounded like he'd had to deal with that more than once. "Most of the time, I have to reforge it, so it can be enchanted properly. At least the Royal Guard enchanters know better than to make that mistake.”
Wen he was finished, he showed it off, and then collapsed it. “Let me know how it fares? I don't think I've ever done anything quite like it.”
“I will indeed. Thank you.” Robert paid him, then tucked it away. Now with all the gifts he'd wanted, he trotted to the edge of the city. True, he could have taken a cab, but he enjoyed the walk. He crossed the long rail bridge, and reached by following other pegasi, what was clearly a launching point. A few others were already in flight, waiting for those behind them in line. He waited his turn, then took off. He followed the flight path up, then just before falling into line with the others, he swung south. Several of the pegasi behind him gaped. They knew about the mountains, and how hard it would be to fly the distance. Not a one of them did anything more than watch him go, sticking to the safe air lanes.
Robert winged south over the woods, passing the small town he'd brought the couple too. There was a pegasus drawn wagon, and several prisoners were being loaded in by Royal Guards. Robert smiled and winged on. The mountain was just as cold as he'd left it. He spent a few minutes staring south as well, then leaped off and swooped down towards Ponyville. He arrived, just as Trenderhoof was being shown to his train. The train puffed away, and Robert flared his wings to land.
“Hello Everypony, what did I miss?”
Chapter 29
“So, how is Coco doing?” Rarity asked.
“She seems to be doing fantastically, if doing so brightly red.” Rarity blinked. "Her marefriend seems intent on teasing her mercilessly.” he clarified. Rarity coughed.
“Oh, I see.” Rarity looked into her tea.
“Something wrong with that?” Robert asked.
“Oh? No, nothing at all. Just I don't know, I wouldn't have expected that to be her thing.” she said, not looking up.
“Why not?” Robert asked.
“Oh, she just...” Rarity met his eyes. "I figured her for stallions is all.”
“Ah. Well, no worries, it's not like you tried to set her up and it failed.” he shrugged.
“I suppose not.” she sipped her tea again. "How did the play look?”
“I don't know, but the crown fit.” Robert said. "The actress tried it on, and it set perfectly on her head.”
“Oh good, I'm glad. I hoped the measurements were correct. I know how hard it can be to get a proper fit without doing directly.” she noticed his face. "Something wrong?”
“Maybe. I got presents for everyone, and while most of them are things that it doesn't matter, I bought something for Rainbow and now I'm worried. I was told a fitting enchantment would help but...
“Well, of course it would. The crown wasn't designed with one in mind, so if whatever you've given her has one, it shouldn't matter.” Rarity asked, eyes twinkling.
“Well, it's not entirely finished, since there's one other enchantment that needs to go on. Robert looked around, at the bright airy windows. Rarity caught his look, and her horn glowed for a moment. Nothing seemed to change. He raised an eyebrow.
“A 'Not at Home' spell. An illusion that makes it appear as if I'm closed. I appear to have stepped out for lunch in this particular case. Keeps out everyone but you know who.”
“Who?” Pinkie asked.
“You.” Rarity said, looking straight up at Pinkie, who was standing on her head.
“Oh, okay.” Pinkie vanished. Robert was watching her, and still couldn't tell how she vanished. He blinked once, and looked back at Rarity.
“Right, yes.” he blinked again, then reached into his saddlebag. "Here. he passed the helmet over.” She stared at it for a couple of minutes.
“Okay, I give up.” she said.
“Give it a shake.” she did and the sides fell. "For her head.”
“Very interesting, but why?” she asked.
“Because she doesn't like anything that's not cool, and head injuries are not, but neither are the helmets you see. Plus the standard helmet is not exactly aerodynamic. So this collapses into just the mane cover. I figure that she can either activate it with a word, or have the spell automatically expand it when it exceeds certain limits.” Robert said. "Of course that's not my area of expertise.”
“Nor is it precisely mine. True, I have some talent in enchantment, but for something so complex, Twilight's touch is absolutely essential.” Rarity said. Robert nodded, and tucked it away in the bag.
“Thank you. Do you think she'll like it?” he asked.
“I'm certain she'll love it. What did you get me?” she asked, winking.
“Oh, now that would be telling.” Robert smiled. "Everyone will know at the party, but for now, tell me all about what I missed.” Rarity burst into flame...
---
Robert was still laughing rather hard when he left, now on a mission to find Twilight and enlist her help. She was busy reading. Absolutely no being in the entire universe was surprised. The fact that she was reading with Rainbow Dash was more interesting, but Robert paused. He certainly couldn't ask Twilight what he wanted with Rainbow Dash right there. He suddenly caught sight of Spike's tail in the kitchen. His tactic changed.
“Hey Twilight, is Spike around?” he asked. Twilight looked up, startled out of her book.
“Huh? Oh, he's in the kitchen. How was your trip?”
“Trippy.” Robert replied. Rainbow laughed, Twilight opened up to give him a lecture on linguistics, but he breezed past.
“How's my number one dragon bro?” he asked, disappearing into the kitchen.
“Rainbow, was that weird?” Twilight asked. Rainbow stared.
“Twilight, that was Pinkie level weird. Which is normal around here.: the pegasus shook her head, and went back to her book.
“Number one Dragon Bro?” Spike asked. You have another Dragon Bro someplace?” the little purple dragon asked.
“Not in so far as I am aware. Though circumstances may change.” Robert replied. Spike leveled a look at him. "Had to say something to get out of a words and meanings lecture from Twilight.”
“Fair enough. So did you come over for some particular reason?” Spike asked, pulling out a pan of muffins. He didn't need oven mitts though he checked over his shoulder to see if Twilight was watching before grabbing it with a bare claw. She always forgot he was mostly fireproof, especially the callouses on his claws. He wore the oven mitts she'd given him as much because she'd given them to him, than for any real need of them. Plus it set a good example when the Crusaders happened by, and since he knew they were in school, or out of town, he was safe enough to only check on Twiilight.
“I came over looking for Twilight, but the request involves a secret from Rainbow Dash and I can't very well ask Twilight for a favor I can't explain. Any idea how long they're going to be at it?” Robert asked. Spike took a breath. He was miffed that Robert hadn't come for him, but at the same time, he understood the problem. He kept the emotion mostly to himself and looked out into the main area.
“Rainbow's got the new Daring Do. She'll be here all day, then blow out ten minutes before her shift ends and do everything.” Spike sighed. "Better luck tomorrow.”
“No problem. What're you doing the rest of the day?” Robert asked, annoyed, but unwilling to let such a small problem ruin his mood.
“Chores, comics, more chores, checklists.” Spike shrugged. "The usual.”
“Twilight, can Spike have the day off?” Robert called. Twilight answered before Spike could speak up.
“Sure, just be back by bedtime.” she called. Spike started.
“See, now you've got no plans. Wanna hang out?” Robert asked. Spike goggled at him.
“So what I'm your second choice and you think I'd rather hang out with you?” he asked.
“You'd prefer chores?” Robert asked, raising an eyebrow.
“So, you wanted to hang out where?” Spike asked.
“I know just the place.”
---
“This isn't really a good idea.” Spike said. They were walking along the edge of the Everfree.
“Why not?” Robert asked curiously.
“That's the Everfree forest. It's full of the most concentrated scary this side of Sombra.” Spike said, waving his arms.
“Who?” Robert asked. Spike stared.
“You've never heard of King Sombra?” The little dragon asked, blinking.
“Nope.” Robert replied.
“Oh, um... let me tell you the story.” Spike did, as they continued to walk. "Then Cadence snatched me out of the air and we lit the heart and let Sombra have the what for.”
“Spike, you're a hero.” Robert said.
“I am not, Twilight is. She did all the hard work.” Spike deferred.
“Voluntarily throwing yourself off a tower isn't exactly sane behavior, and doing it willingly to deliver an item of vital importance is pretty heroic I think.”
“Well...” the conversation was interrupted at this point.
“What in the name of Luna is that?” Robert asked, glaring at the thing before them.
“It's a timberwolf.” Spike said, without the slightest trace of fear in his voice. On closer inspection, Robert understood why. The creature before them was made entirely of wood. Fighting Spike was not likely to end well. "Hey you, back off!” The timberwolf hissed. Spike snorted, blasting a gust of flame in the direction of the wolf. It shied away, but didn't back off. "That's weird.”
“What?” Robert asked. He was perhaps less afraid of it than he should have been.
“It's not attacking. But it's not fleeing.” Spike stared for a moment. "Back up. The pair backed away.” The timberwolf followed them forward. "Forward.” They walked forward a few steps. The timberwolf turned, trotted a few steps, then looked back. "I think he wants us to follow.”
“I don't think that's a very good idea.” Robert suggested. “At least, not without someone knowing where we're going and why.”
“Umm, right.” Spike pulled a pad and pencil out of nowhere, and scribbled a quick note. He lit it with his fire and waited. A moment later, Twilight appeared in a purple flash. Rainbow Dash arrived a couple minutes later, with Fluttershy in tow.
“What's going on?” Twilight asked.
“We went for a walk and this guy appeared. He seemed to want us to follow him.” Spike said.
“Spike suggested we get some help so we didn't get ambushed.” Robert piped up. "So I guess he called for help?”
“More or less.” Twilight answered. "Though he said it was your idea.”
“He's just too modest.” Robert shrugged. "It's always easy to be brilliant when someone else can take the credit.” Spike glared at him.
“Well, you did the right thing Spike.” Twilight said. She looked at Robert. "I suppose you wanted to follow it?”
“I was going to suggest Spike go for help. I didn't know he could send messages directly to you. Robert shrugged.
“Why send Spike?” Twilight asked. Spike braced himself.
“Simple, I'm a lot tastier looking. I know I'd rather eat a nice juicy me, than a spiny, scaly fire breather like Spike.” Spike's jaw opened and closed. Twilight shook her head.
“Oookay, anyway. Fluttershy?” she glanced at the Pegasus. As expected, she was quietly communing with a ravening monster that would otherwise be tartarus bent on trying to kill them all.
“I think he needs help.” silence. "Oh, umm...” this way. the others followed after her, as she was lead by the timberwolf into the woods. It led them well off the normally charted paths, but none of them were bothered. Anything they couldn't handle could be escaped. The area was intermittently dense enough to require them climb over and around or under in Spike's case, thorny vines and brush that didn't bother a wooden creature like the timberwolf that would have torn great bloody chunks out of the rest of them. Even Spike had climbed up on Twilight to be flown over. Robert had to go around, because he simply couldn't fly through the forest canopy. He rejoined them on the other side, just in time to find a wall completely impassable.
“It's on the other side.” Fluttershy said. The timberwolf seemed to understand her, and nodded vigorously. Rainbow flew straight up. The wall was forty meters high, built from solid stone. Rainbow landed on top, and looked in.
“There's... you've gotta see this.” she called. Spike climbed aboard Twilight, and she flew up. Robert glanced at Fluttershy.
“I'm going to stay here with him.” she nodded to the wolf.
“I'll stay too. I have... questions.” Robert grinned. Fluttershy quailed.
---
“Okay Rainbow, you're right.” Twilight looked down. Spike had dropped on top of the wall, and was looking down. He wasn't afraid of falling. No one was faster than Rainbow Dash, and Twilight had some experience in catching him. He was also fairly certain he could survive the fall without much issue if it came to that. Twilight wouldn't be amused, but he'd be willing to accept her being angry as long as he was alive. Even so, he wasn't interested at all in a live test of the theory. There was a pack of timberwolves down on the ground. Several of them were... injured wasn't the right word. Not for a species that could reform wooden bodies at will.
Trapped was the correct description. The wall went all the way around the area where they were, and Twilight could see how they'd gotten in. The ground had swelled up around one side of it, leaving a nice convenient ramp, which they could have run up and gone in. The question however, was what had chased them in. There were few things that timberwolves feared. The Dragon that had chased Spike would be high on the list, but he was in a different part of the forest, and Fluttershy had gently explained what would happened if he threatened anything in the forest again, the line of demarcation stopping at the edge of his cave. She wouldn't leave him completely defenseless after all. Twilight wasn't about to point out that nothing short of an Ursa Major could give a full grown dragon real trouble.
Something had chased them and they hadn't looked where they were going. They were agitated though, as if it were still hanging around. Twilight looked around.
“Do you see a way to get them out of here without blowing a hole in the wall?” Twilight asked Rainbow Dash.
“No, but I'll take a look.” she stepped off the wall, and swooped around the outer edge. She disappeared for several moments behind a piece of rubble, then appeared. She made two circuits, a fast first one, and a slower second, then landed by Twilight. "Two exits. One under that earth over there.” she pointed to the ramped slope. That was useless, the earth piled up would cover the exit, and Rainbow said as much. "The other one looks like it leads further down. They don't want to go near it though.”
“Twilight? Any idea what this place is?” Spike asked.
“I think it's an old dueling arena.” Twilight said. "But it's strangely shaped, and most dueling arena's I know of didn't have those pillars. Hang on...” she threw herself off the wall and hovered close to one of the pillars. Magic flared and cleared some of the moss and vines off of a section. She dropped a couple wing beats, then flew back to the wall. "It's not a unicorn arena. It's one of the old Earth Pony trial by combat arena's. I thought they were all gone.”
“What 'chu talkin' 'bout Twilight?” Rainbow asked. Twilight stared as if she was crazy for a minute.
“Earth Ponies had courts of law before Unicorns discovered magic. Lawyers were a unicorn addition. Before that, Earth Ponies would go before a judge and he would either rule for one, or the other.” Twilight took a breath. "If he couldn't or didn't want to for reasons of his own, he'd send them to Trial by Combat. They'd be dropped into an arena, to fight it out.” she shuddered. "Barbaric.
“Epic.”
“Sounds like the dragon migration all over again.” Spike snorted. The others glanced at him. "They fought a lot, and weren't very nice.”
“Well, this was a little more civilized. They fought to the last pony standing, but it was still brutal. I'd rather not damage it to get them out.” Twilight considered it. She leaped off and made her own slow flight. Half way through she landed. She examined the wall, then leaped into the air. She flew back to Spike and Rainbow. She touched down, wings still spread. "Rainbow, get Robert and Fluttershy up here. Spike, I need you to watch my back.” Spike climbed on. Rainbow jumped off the side, and returned a moment later with Robert, and Fluttershy. The latter touched down gently, the former landed, and slipped. He caught himself in the stone work before going over. He pushed up and hovered in the air.
“I think I'm a little big too fit.” he suggested. "What's up?”
“I'm going to... cut a hole in the wall over there.” Twilight pointed with a wing tip. "I'd rather not, but there's no other way to get them out, not without digging through several tons of earth.”
“What can we do?” Fluttershy asked.
“Spike is going to sit on my back while I cut the hole, and if any of them try anything, he's going to lightly toast them.” Twilight smiled at the dragon. He nodded firmly. "Rainbow, you're going to stand on the wall above me, and watch for the same kind of thing. If Spike doesn't see it, let him know. Robert, I was going to put you up with her...” she paused. "Fluttershy, they'll need to be shown the way out. Robert, stay with her.” they all nodded. Robert hovered with Fluttershy. Twilight's horn flared. Energy slowly began to cut it's way into the wall, not through the stone, but into the mortar. Rainbow watched the timberwolves. One of the braver ones edged around the debris and sat on it's haunches, watching. Twilight stopped when she'd carved away enough of the mortar. It was old on the outsides, but in the center it was harder than the stone around it, but she'd worked with Rarity often enough to know a little bit of stone working. One didn't dig stones out of the ground without learning a little about stones, and by extension masonry. Plus Pinkie was a font of information both clever and occasionally insightful. And just as often completely useless. She'd launched into an entire diatribe on the taste of certain stones. Spike was fascinated, but Twilight had nodded off in the middle.
Still, she had enough to work with. “Opening the wall!” she called. Telekinesis, the simplest unicorn trick available, the most versatile. It was the basis for levitation, for shields. For flight, if the unicorn had enough power. Twilight had, even before her change, but had never tried. Still, it was potentially one of the most draining powers at their disposal. She gripped the wall, and pulled. It budged half an inch. And then she braced herself, focused on that little used earth pony strength to brace herself, and PULLED. The wall screamed in protest as a section was wrenched free, but after a moment, it was free. She swung it to the side, and set it down. She was exhausted, but the way was open. She spread her wings. “Hold tight.” Spike grabbed on to her flanks, not wanting to turn around. She flapped her wings, and they rose into the air. “Clear!” she called as they rose ten feet into the air.
“Alright everyone, this way.” Fluttershy encouraged the timberwolves on. Some of them started to move, one of them made noise and those stopped. The one who'd made the noise was bigger than the others. It stepped forward. Fluttershy leveled her stare at it. It growled. They held there, transfixed, battling for control for several minutes. Then it reached up and swatted her out of the sky. Tried anyway, Twilight saw the movement and wrapped Fluttershy in a shield. She bounced off the wall in the shield, shook her head, and flew out to the top of the wall. Robert leveled a glare of his own.
“That was not nice.” The timberwolf lunged forward. Robert beat his wings once, falling back before the assault. Claws kicked out and raked the muzzle of the big timberwolf. It fell back a half step. Few things dared stand up to a timberwolf. Fewer still would dare strike one. Robert landed, settled his wings. “Apologize.” The wolf roared, lunged. Robert caught the blow with a wing. It was heavy enough to roll him, but he came up, and lunged. The timberwolf started, and fell back just shy of getting hit. Robert landed, and lunged again immediately. The timberwolf fell back.
“Don't hurt him!” Fluttershy called. None of them were sure who she was talking to. Robert lashed out again, this time catching the wooden foreleg. The timberwolf counter attacked, hitting the tiger on the shoulder. He rolled, came up, blood running down his leg.
“Apologize.” The timberwolf, frustrated, turned towards Fluttershy. It made a noise. "Well?”
“He's sorry.” Fluttershy answered.
“Good. Out the hole.” the timberwolf turned to the pack, made a noise. The pack flowed to the hole, out. The big timberwolf turned to Robert. The tiger braced himself, but his opponent simply nodded, and backed away. Robert moved, not letting the other out of his sight. They walked like that to the hole. Once it was out, the timberwolf turned to the pack and trotted away, then they sprinted into the woods. Twilight dropped to the ground, looked at the wound, then grabbed the piece of wall. She jammed it into place.
“Fluttershy, he's going to need some stitches.” Twilight said.
“Right, I guess we should head home.” the yellow pegasus said.
“Sorry Spike.” Robert said. The purple dragon looked confused. "We didn't get to hang out much.”
“You kidding? That was FUN.” he grinned. "I normally don't get to go.” Twilight coughed. "No worries Twilight.” he nuzzled her neck. "I know all the reasons. It makes the ones I do get to come along on that much better.”
“Perhaps next time we can find something a little less exciting.” Robert said. "Particularly since I seem to be bleeding rather profusely.”
“Oh my.”
Chapter 30
“Ow.” Robert winced.
“Really?” Rainbow Dash asked. "Whacked good by a timberwolf, nothing. Tiny little needle, that's an ow?”
“Adrenaline rush.” Robert replied. "Ow.” Fluttershy started to apologize, heard his voice, then smiled and resumed work. He was doing it just to annoy Dash now. "Besides, showing weakness to a big angry timberwolf is a lethal idea. Showing it to friends is a sign of trust.”
“Very... interesting.” Twilight mentioned. "Perhaps a little too specific for a lesson on friendship.”
“Hmm... well I suppose I could make it a little less situational.” he mused, then winced.
“Sorry. Got a little close to the edge.” Fluttershy said. Twilight had offered to help, but Fluttershy had demurred. Twilight had lots of raw power, but she lacked some fine control. Of course Fluttershy hadn't said that. Robert had though, generating an indignant squeak from the alicorn.
“It's okay. I wasn't using that leg anyway.” he smiled at her. She blushed and started up. It was taking longer than anticipated. Angel was sitting on her shoulders, watching her work. He'd initially bothered Robert, until the tiger had leaned down and said something too soft for anyone but the rabbit to hear. Ever since he'd kept Fluttershy safely between the two of them. Fluttershy rolled her eyes.
“Don't worry, you'll be up and around in a couple of hours.” Fluttershy said, and applied another stitch.
“Are you sure it's not going to get infected?” Twilight asked.
“Yes.” Fluttershy said. "I used Zecora's special disinfectant.”
“Ugh. If that's what I think it is, I should be pretty much immune to everything for the next couple of weeks.” Robert shook his head. "The stuff she puts in that could probably melt holes in metal.”
“You sound happy about that.” Rainbow said.
“Like I said, nothing's going to be able to touch me for a couple weeks.” Robert laughed.
“Is it really that powerful?” Twilight asked. Robert looked at Fluttershy. She finished the last stitch.
“Would you show her the bottle?” he asked. She nodded, fetched it out of the first-aid kit. It was perhaps twelve inches tall, and nearly as round. It held only a small amount of liquid in the middle, no more than thirty ounces. The glass of the bottle was brown in color, and incredibly thick. Fluttershy gently sloshed it, and Twilight started when she saw it etch the glass inside.
“And you put that on a wound?” the purple alicorn asked.
“Yes.” Fluttershy said, putting it back.
“It stings like nothing you've ever felt, but there's nothing like it to keep away infection.” he shrugged gently, wincing at his shoulder. Fluttershy applied a self-adhesive bandage. When that was done, he pushed some bits at her. It turned quickly into a shoving match. He pushed the bits close, she pushed them away. This continued for several minutes. Finally, Angel overcame whatever Robert had said, or simply wanted him gone enough, jumped over Fluttershy's head, and grabbed the money. Then he disappeared as she grabbed for him. He reappeared somehow near the donation box.
“Angel no.” Fluttershy said. Too late, he deposited the sum. "How much did you give me?” she demanded of Robert. As much as Fluttershy was capable of demanding anything.
“Not telling.” Robert said, and stood up on his three good legs. "Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I'm going to go scream in pain for a little while.” He hopped to the door, went out, and screamed. There was laughter inside, except for Spike who slipped outside.
“Was that strictly necessary?” Spike asked him. Robert, through gritted teeth nodded and replied.
“Absolutely. So is this one.” he let out another scream, this one half-roar. "I think that might do it. Might be one more in me.”
“Why are you doing that?” Spike asked.
“Gotta let it out. Otherwise it makes me... grouchy. And you wouldn't like me when I'm grouchy. Trust me.” Robert shook his head. "What can I do you for?”
“What makes you think there's something you can do for me?” Spike asked.
“Well, you did come out here to talk to me. And not I suspect because the noise was bothering you.”
“I'm curious as to the real reason you wanted to hang out.” Spike asked. "No one really wants to hang out with me. I... Rarity likes it when I help, and I like to help, don't get me wrong, but she doesn't seem to like me to just be around. Twilight is amazing, but at the same time...”
“She's like an older sister, so she's not a friend you chose, even if she's one you would have chosen.” Robert guessed.
“Yes.” Spike said. It wasn't that he didn't love Twilight, but...
“Have you ever heard the saying about friends and family?” Robert asked.
“Keep your family close and your friends closer?” Spike asked.
“Umm, no that's enemies. Friends close and enemies closer.” Robert said with a smile.
“In Celestia we trust, all others pay cash, family in advance?” Spike tried.
“No.” Robert shook his head. "Friends are the family you choose.”
“Oh. No, I hadn't.” Spike said.
“Family are some of the first friends you have and that colors the way you look at the world. Trust me. But there comes that point, when you find that you're making friends, selecting those you want to associate with, and those you want to avoid. I know, Celestia preaches friendship and that's an admirable thing. Yet, I think she forgets that friends can't always be”. he glanced off where the Crusaders were gathered, arguing over plans held that would inevitably lead to some sort of horrible disaster. A more financial mind might wonder if the natural disaster budget included them. It did, though only as a subset of the Mayor's yearly submission. Their inclusion had caused no end of amusement. Up until the moment someone had been sent to investigate potential fraud. It was routine, and nothing particularly unique. Usually there wasn't any and the local official would simply have it explained that things which only happened once shouldn't be listed. After the third investigator ended up in the hospital after having been roped into a scheme, they simply officially stamped it as a valid item and went on with their lives.
“Those three?” he nodded at the Crusaders. "Think they could ever be friends with Diamond Tiara?”
“Not really.” Spike admitted.
“I disagree. They might not see it, considering the unholy terror she's inflicted, but they might be able to do it.” he shrugged. “As you get older, it gets harder. It's easier to find common points when you're younger. A shared dislike of school. Of some particularly strict adult. Or of some adult rule that feels exceedingly constrictive. As you get older, and develop more... individuality, you lose that commonality with all the others of your age. It becomes harder to make friends. But you're less restricted in the choice. For now, they have to make do with those around. Which means Diamond Tiara and her hench pony. But as they grow, they'll have options. They can make friends with ponies in other places.” he paused.
“What if they don't want to?” Spike asked.
“Then they don't have to. It's helpful, to have someone you know you can trust, who's willing to catch you when you trip, or help you up when you fall.” he shrugged. “And sometimes, sometimes you know that you're just not going to get along with that other. Some times you're going to have to just say no to trying to make friends. Whether because you disagree on something fundamental or something abstract. Not everyone is willing to admit it, not willing to stop trying.”
“Pinkie.” Spike said.
“Most of the time.” Robert nodded. "Sometimes though, you'll know, and you always listen to that feeling, remember.” Spike nodded. "That said, don't forget that you have to make an effort. Make some friends. Friends of friends. If you're really stuck? Ask Pinkie. I'm sure she'll be happy to find someone who shares your interests.”
“Good to know, but you still haven't answered my question.” Spike said.
“You're far too much like Twilight, you know that right?” Spike grinned and nodded. “Anyway, you're the most interesting male around here. After me of course.” Robert polished his knuckles on his chest. Spike rolled his eyes. "Seriously though. Big Mac? He's cool, intelligent, and doesn't mind that I can't shut up. But you know what his favorite topic is?”
“Apples?” Spike hazarded, correctly.
“Apples! He's got an amazing mind, but I can only take so many eight hour philosophical discussions on the superiority of one apple type over another. And no, no matter what he tells you, Red Delicious is not the superior one. Golden is far and away better.” Some half a mile away in the center of town, Big Mac erupted into a spontaneous 'Eenope.', seriously confusing himself and several passers by.
“Surely there's other stallions around.” Spike suggested.
“Yes I'm sure there are. But you know what? There's so many mares in town that it's hard to find those few stallions that are around, and even harder to sort out the interesting ones. It comes down to you, Time Turner and Bulk Biceps. I can't find Time Turner until the very last moment I need him. Seriously, he always shows up in just the nick of time. Bulk Biceps is extremely intelligent... don't play chess or poker with him. He's a master chess player, and he has an unbeatable poker face.” Spike's eyes narrowed. "Big Mac refuses to play him any more.”
“Wow.” Spike shook his head. He didn't think anyone had a better poker face than Big Mac. Not that he could ask Twilight, who'd be annoyed that he was playing poker, and even more annoyed that she hadn't been invited.
“Plus he's training for the games now, so he's doing that in addition to all his other work. Seriously, you want to solve your Rarity problem, go see him for a half-day. You'll either be all muscle, or dead from trying to keep up.” Spike laughed.
“So I guess I'm the last pick?” he asked, a little somberly.
“No. You're the first pick, but you're always working.” Robert said, eyeballing him.
“Oh, yeah.” Spike flushed. "Look, I get Tuesdays off unless Twilight's on a research bender. And you can tell those when the town starts running. he winked. "So you can catch me then.”
“Awesome. Now, we're still on schedule to hang out, but I'm not going to be walking much. Got any other ideas?” Robert asked.
“Actually...”
---
“I was wrong. I'm a big enough tiger to admit that. The only one you should ever play chess with is Bulk Biceps.” Robert sighed. This was the fifteenth game they'd played. Robert, who'd thought himself pretty good, if not exceptional, hadn't won a single game. "Who'd you learn to play from? Can't be Twilight. She's the worst player I've ever seen.”
“Princess Celestia taught me.” Spike replied, smiling an evil reptilian smile. If she hadn't invented the game herself, she'd almost certainly been around for it. Which Robert decided, explained an awful lot.
“Glad we didn't bet on it.” Robert sighed. "I don't suppose you've got something I'm less likely to suck at.” he asked hopefully.
“Yeah.” Spike laughed, and began putting the chess set away, and heading for one of the shelves. He slid the chess board away, and tugged something else out. "Here we go, Sweet Oats Land.” The universe does occasionally listen to the pleas of those within it, usually in the most spectacularly awful way possible. The sheer force of the glare he was receiving caused the game in Spike's claws to burst into flame. Spike put it out with a glare of his own. "You could have said no.”
“I didn't do it on purpose. Robert said, carefully not looking at anything for very long. "I just don't know what happened.”
“I think you've been hanging around Derpy too much.” Spike said. Robert snorted.
“I haven't seen her in a week. Not for more than a hello anyway.” she hadn't been avoiding him, he was pretty sure of that. Just different schedules. "Gotta make sure I see her again.”
“Goodie.” Spike shook his head. "Look, I don't think this is going to work out.”
“I hope you mean the board games.”
“Yeah, what'd you think I meant?”
“Nothing good. Come on, there's got to be something...” Robert paused. "Perhaps some advice about the ladies?” he flicked his eyebrows. Spike blushed.
“N-no. Spike said it, but his body language was disagreeing with him.
“Liar”. Robert said. "I know you've got a crush, and she knows it.”
“No, she doesn't.” Spike shook his head.
“Oh, I think she does.” Robert disagreed. "She doesn't want to show it though.” he stood and limped slightly as he walked over to the little dragon. "Look Rarity is a high class, beautiful mare. You can't just declare your love. She knows it already. You've got to show her.”
“How?” Spike asked.
“Court her, woo her. Keep treating her well. Wizard, warrior, or casanova, time is the greatest ally and most powerful weapon.” Spike gave him a confused look. "Do what you've been doing, make sure she's always thinking of you, and eventually she'll come around.”
“Oh.” Spike sighed. "Waiting is hard.”
“So is love.” Robert smiled. "Grab my bag.” he pointed. Spike pulled the bag over. Robert dug into his bag, and pulled out a small folding metal photo frame. "Here, this is my lady, and my parents. Spike opened the frame. Two older tigers, one larger and male and one slightly smaller and female were in the left hand side. They were leaned together, smiling, and cupping a cub between them.
“Aw.”
“It's not me, so don't get any ideas.” Robert chuckled. "On the other hand, when you meet my sister, tease her all you want.”
“That's your sister?” he asked.
“Yeah, that's... Morning Dew. Robert shook his head. "The one in the other frame is my Steel Rose.”
“Wow.” the tiger was more definitively female, and yet, there was a quiet strength beneath those feminine curves. "I... wow.”
“That one is taken, thank you so very much.” Robert chuckled. "Besides get one, before you go fishing for more.”
“I...” Spike blushed again.
“I'm teasing you. You can tease back. The girls might not like it, but I don't mind.” Robert said, and put a paw on Spike's shoulder. "I'm a big tiger, I can take it.”
“I don't know. I'm supposed to be nice.” Spike shook his head. "I mean, Look what happened when I got taken over by greed.”
“Bah, so you turned into a giant monster and got a little grabby. You were collecting beautiful things. Not your fault one of them fought back.” Robert smiled.
“Hey, most of them fought back. They just didn't all succeed.” Spike said. "Pinkie was giving me pie.”
“ASSAULTING YOU WITH PIE!” Pinkie said, vanishing as soon as she said it.
“Okay, assaulting me.” he laughed. "You're right though, Rarity fought back and saved me.”
“See, she loves you. She just needs time to get over a few things. Like you being several years her junior. And that moderately annoying species divide.” he chuckled. "You might ask Twilight about that last one. Perhaps she'll teach you some magic.”
“Magic? But don't you need a horn for that?” Spike asked.
“Why did you grow big?”
“What?”
“Grow big. You. Why?”
“So I could protect my horde.” Spike shrugged. "So what?”
“Magic is sympathetic. To Dragons more than any race except Alicorns. You grew because you knew, instinctively that you'd need to do so to protect your horde. You grew magically.” Spike blinked. "If you want to learn magic, then you'll need a horn. Or possibly two. Hey, the more the merrier.”
“Oh gee, thanks.” Spike rolled his eyes.
“Well... hey, look you're obviously magical already.”
“What do you mean?”
“Asks the fire breathing dragon.” Robert smiled.
“Oh, right.” Spike rubbed his head. "How do you do magic, if you don't have horns?”
“Fangs.” Robert said, and opened his mouth. "They work very similarly to horns, though it's not quite the same.”
“Oh. Maybe I could go with those, and not ruin my good looks.” He ran a claw over his spines.
“Oh, I don't know, some horns might make you look rather dashing.” Robert tilted his head. "Not straight ones. You'd look like a purple porcupine.”
“Gee, thanks.” Spike rolled his eyes. He paused, and dashed out of the room. Robert blinked, but he showed back up with a comic book. "How about these?” Several dragons were on the cover, some with horns in a fan behind their heads. Others had a few horns straight behind them, even if the horns were a touch crooked.
“Hmm... not bad. Can't quite picture you with those.” Robert said, rubbing his chin. "Maybe flat horns?”
“What?” Spike asked.
“Horns, flat along your head, almost ridges, but short. Along your spine crest, like this.” he ran a claw down the ridge. "One on either side. Plus you can make your head glow, which is awesome.”
“I don't know.” Spike said. "I'm not sure if they'd even work.” he shrugged.
“There's only one thing to do then. Robert said. “Ask Twilight.”
“Ask Twilight what?” she said, coming down the hall. They hadn't heard her come in the door, so she must have landed on the balcony, or perhaps teleported to her room.
“Whether horn ridges would work just as well for magic as a unicorn horn.” Spike said suddenly.
“What do you mean? On who?” Twilight asked.
“Me?” Spike said.
“You want to learn magic? she asked, moderately startled.
“I never really thought about it, but Robert said I might look dashing with horns. And we got side tracked into picking out horns. I don't know if I even need them but...” Spike paused. "You alright?”
“What? Oh, yes, I'm okay.” Twilight said, dazedly. "Um, no, I'm really very not.”
“What's the matter?” Robert asked.
“Why in the name of Celestia would Spike want to learn magic!” Twilight's voice rose in octaves and volume. "That's what's the matter!”
“Why not? Spike asked.” Twilight opened and closed her mouth several times.
“Why do you want to learn magic?” she asked Spike. Spike turned to Robert.
“Why did I want to learn magic?” Robert said something in Tiger. Spike caught it and blushed. Twilight missed it, though she'd heard it, and would look it up later, she'd find it wasn't in the book.
“You wanted to learn magic because you have a crush on Rarity and she might have a problem with the species barrier. Magic would let you transform from a dragon to a pony, removing such a barrier.” Robert said. "Besides, Twilight can do magic and she's nearly as awesome as Rainbow Dash.” Tick. Tick.
“HEY!” Twilight said indignantly.
“See, Rainbow would have let that one slide. Nearly as awesome.” Robert grinned. Twilight reached around the corner with her magic and hit him with a pillow.
Chapter 31
“The Ponytones?" Robert laughed. "Oh no, no, I just can't... he fell over.” There were a few disapproving glares, in particular from a pair of pegasi and a small dog.
“What's so funny?” Derpy asked. She'd been delighted when he asked her if she wanted to meet up. She'd been on nights for the past week and so hadn't seen him except when she was headed home in the morning, wings and hooves so sore she could barely keep a smile on her face.
“The Ponytones!” which set off another inexplicable gale of laughter. Even Pinkie paused, staring at the big tiger on the ground.
“What's up with him?” she asked, ignoring the half dozen cookies hanging frozen in mid-air behind her.
“I don't know.” Derpy said honestly. "He just found something about the Ponytones incredibly funny I guess.”
“Huh, strange.” Pinkie shrugged, and caught the cookies in a basket. Robert managed to force himself upright.
“I'm sorry, it's part of a very old Tiger joke. We were once eaters of all kinds of meat.” He paused for a moment, letting imaginations run. "So the joke askes, what do you get from eating the same thing all the time? The answer of course being Ponotony. he chuckled slightly, but swallowed anything more.”
“Oh.” Derpy said, completely missing the joke.
“Never mind. In any case, no, I can't make the show.”
“You're always missing the fun stuff in town.” Derpy said.
“I know, but this time it's for a good cause.” Robert said. “I'm on my way out to Appleloosa. Zecora's friends with one of the Buffalo Shaman and he might have the stuff she needs to fix my mojo.”
“That's a bit of a long flight.” she said worriedly.
“To be able to get my magic back? I'd fly all the way home if I had to.” he shook his head. "I like flying, fear of the ground not withstanding, but not having my magic.. it's like missing an appendage. As you might feel while mising your wings.” he said, deciding on a comparison.
“Oh. Yeah, I see how that could suck.” she paused. "Does that mean you won't fly with us any more?”
“Not at all. Now that they've changed like this, I can fly any time, just by adding a little magic.” he smiled.
“Oh. Will that make you an alicorn?” Derpy asked.
“It'd better not.” Robert said, eyes narrow. "Or I'm going to be very perturbed.”
“Don't worry, I doubt that'll happen.” a pony with a quill and keyboard crossed cutie mark said, before disappearing out the door.
“Who was that?” Robert asked
“Author Avatar?” Derpy asked. "Some weirdo who shows up, says something completely inexplicable and then vanishes again.”
“Oh. So the least weird of all possible things.”
“Exactly.” Derpy laughed.
---
“Hey.” Applejack caught Robert's attention as he was preparing to leave.
“Hello.” Robert said. Silence reigned for several minutes.
“Look.” Applejack lowered her hat. “Ah know Ah ain't exactly been Best Friend Forever material to yah. And Ah don't really have any right to ask a favor of yah.”
“Applejack. Ask. The worst I can do is say no.” Robert said. He was pretty sure there wasn't much he wouldn't say no to.
“Ah heard you were headed to Appleloosa.”
“Nearby.” Robert nodded. "What'd you need?”
“Ah was hopin' to send a package with yah for mah cousin Braeburn. Ah'd send it by Pegasus courier but Ah can't afford it.” she rubbed the brim of her hat.
“And just how does he feel about Tigers?” Robert asked levelly.
“Ah don't rightly know. The subject never has come up.” Applejack admitted.
“Alright. I'll take it.” she looked at him for a moment.
“Look, if you're not sure...” she suddenly seemed worried.
“I'm a big tiger, I can take care of myself”. Robert sighed. "Look, I don't mind. I'm going that way, and it's no more effort to stop there than to continue on. Bring it to the Library in the morning. Tonight, we party.”
“Oh, um... Ah don't think Ah can make it tonight.” Applejack said.
“Oh no you don't. You're coming to the party. I will sick Pinkie on you.” he leveled an eye at her. "Besides, I can't give you your gift if you don't come.”
“Gift, what gift?”
“You'll have to find out with everyone else.” he raised his head and turned away. "You asked me a favor, and in return, showing up is the favor I want.”
“Alright, I'll come.”
---
Talking Pinkie out of the brass marching band took some considerable wheedling. He caved on DJ-Pon3 though, to keep her from doing something precipitous. Twilight threw up her hooves and went looking for earplugs.
“I don't know why you don't want a massive super awesome party.” Pinkie said. Robert took a deep breath.
“I would love one, but I need to be awake for a flight in the morning. So we'll have to keep it somewhat low key.” Robert said, for the seventh time.
“That's the same excuse Rainbow uses.” Pinkie said. “And she likes my parties.”
“I love your parties, but I have to get up after them and that's not exactly easy. Besides, I want to be awake for presents.”
“Ooh, presents.” Pinkie said and then grinned. "I can't wait.” then she disappeared in an explosion of motion.
“Presents huh?” Spike asked.
“Yes, presents. You're not finding out what you got. So don't bother trying.”
“Why would you think I'd do that? I'm hurt. I have no intention, Dragon's Honor.” Spike said, holding up one clawed hand.
“Uncross the one behind your back and we'll have somewhere to start.”
“Aww man...” Spike glared at him suspiciously. "How'd you know?”
“I guessed. It's not the kind of promise I'd make and intend to keep, so I didn't think you would either.”
“That's not fair.” Spike pointed out.
“All's fair in love, war, and keeping others out of presents.” Robert shrugged. "Besides, it's more unfair for you to know in advance.”
“Stupid logic.” Spike muttered and wandered away. Robert just shook his head.
---
The party had good music, Twilight was sure of it, she just didn't know where it had gone. The DJ insisted on blasting whatever was played, and doing something to the discs on which it was stored that she was certain was not good for them. The 'I've got duplicates' that was shouted at her when she explained it wasn't helping her mood at all.
Blasting them at ear splitting levels wasn't helping either. She was glad she was wearing ear plugs and felt sorry for anyone that wasn't. She hadn't seen Robert in over an hour, and was getting worried when he appeared with his saddle bags.
“Present time.” he announced. "Something for everypony. Robert dug into his bags, and extracted a book. "This one is for Twilight.”
“A first edition of Shield Harmonics in a Localized Resonant Magical field? I've been looking for this for years.” Twilight very nearly burst with excitement.
“Glad you like it.” Robert pulled out the next one. “Ah, this one is for Spike.” the purple dragon took it, and examined it.
“What is it?” he asked after a long moment.
“It's a Gem Brewer.” Robert answered with a smile. "Put in two gems and let them sit for a bit, and viola, a new flavor.”
“Cool.” Spike grinned.
“Let me see... Ah, for Rarity.” an assortment of scented candles, and bath salts. "So you can relax and rejuvenate at home.”
“Oh my, thank you. How did you know the fragrance?” he tapped his face.
“The nose knows.” he smiled. “Ah, for Fluttershy.”
“You didn't have to...” her voice faded out, as the gold inlay on the sign caught her attention. 'Fluttershy's home for injured animals.' "Oh my, thank you.”
“Pinkie, well, it's hard to stop the party, so I figured I'd turn the party up. In fact, it's over NINE THOUSAND!” The DJ had caught his signal to boost the volume.
“Oh my gosh, the Super Streamer 9500? How did you get that?” Pinkie asked before snatching it up. "I've been saving for one of these for months!” she immediately demonstrated the new party decoration machine by whipping around and pulling the trigger. Most of the group avoided neatly. Applejack got a face full of decoration.
“He, he, sorry!” Pinkie apologized.
“It's okay.” Applejack said, wiping the streamers off her nose."What else ya got in there?”
“This one is for you.” he pulled out a box, and passed it carefully over to her. She took it and opened it. There was a small bottle of perfume nestled inside. “Marre au Printemps” she read the label. Rarity choked.
“That, you must tell me where you found it!” she shook her head. "I've been looking for a place to get it for years.”
“It's a little place in downtown Manehattan. Scents and Sundries I believe.” he said, thinking back.
“I saw it but I didn't go in. I must make plans.” Rarity turned away muttering to herself.
“If it means that much to you Rares, you can have this one?” Applejack offered.
“No, no, I need a supply of my own. I'll use it far too often for one bottle to last very long. Besides, it's the scent I'd have picked for you, had you ever asked. Go ahead, smell”. Applejack touched the stem on top. The moment her it hit her nose, her eyes teared up and she dropped the box. Spike threw himself through the air, making a perfect diving catch. At the same time Applejack exploded out the door, tears running down her face. Fluttershy didn't say anything but went after her.
“Well...” Pinkie coughed. "I guess that's a wrap.”
“I didn't... Rainbow's face fell. "We'd better go find them.” The rest of the elements filed out of the library. Spike sat down holding the perfume.
“What was that about?” he asked no one.
“Am I still getting paid?” DJ-Pon3 asked.
“Yes.” Robert replied.
“Oh, good.”
---
Applejack ran for several minutes before finally stopping on the edge of town. Fluttershy caught up to her a minute later. “Applejack? What's wrong?”
“It's nothin'.” she said.
“Applejack, you're a bad liar.” Pinkie said, appearing beside her friend. "You really shouldn't try.”
“I hate that.” Applejack said. "How you can tell. I should be allowed to have my own thoughts without anyone intruding on them.”
“We didn't mean to.” Fluttershy said. "Except, you ran off crying and we...”
“It's okay. I didn't mean it.” 'not much' she added, shaking her head.
“Applejack!” the others arrived, following Rainbow, who'd gone high to find Fluttershy and by extension Applejack.
“Darling, whatever's wrong?” Rarity asked, first to arrive.
“Yeah, running off like that's not like you.” Rainbow agreed.
“Ah'm sorry y'all. It's just that fragrance. It was Mom's favorite.” she fought back more tears. “Ah remember she'd put it on when we all went into town. She let me wear some the last time we all went to town.” tears fell this time. "I don't know what happened to the rest of the bottle afterwards. Think I might have done something I shouldn't have.” she was silent, even as the rest closed in to lean against her or lay a wing over her back when they couldn't reach.
They stood together like that for the better part of an hour, not talking, not moving other than the rustling of wings or muscles to remain comfortable. Eventually Applejack broke the silence. “Ah'm sorry, Ah guess Ah ruined the party.” Pinkie gasped.
“The party!” she vanished, which caused the entire pile to collapse, except for Fluttershy who'd been on top and simply took the air by instinct.
“Girls! You okay?”
“Fine Fluttershy.” came Twilight's muffled voice from the bottom of the pile.
“Glad ta hear it Twi. Rainbow, move your leg so she can get her horn outta mah face?” Applejack sounded as though she was trying very hard to not say something else.
They untangled, from one another, and headed back to the library, where Pinkie was busy paying the DJ.
“Sorry, unexpected personal events.” Pinkie chuckled. "See ya next time.” They shared a decidedly complicated hoof bump and a hug. The unicorn tipped her horn to the others, gave the princess a bow, and then trotted on, drawing her bag of bits in a telekinetic grip on the way. "Hey guys.”
“Pinkie, a little warning before you vanish?” Rainbow asked.
“Sorry, if I warn you it's not funny, and then I can't do it. Shouldn't you expect it by now?”
“Probably.” Twilight admitted. "Robert still there?”
“Yeah, he and Spike are cleaning up.”
“It's his party! He doesn't have to do that.” Twilight barked. She stormed past Pinkie. Tried. A massive gust of wind blew out the door, completely ignoring Pinkie as if she didn't exist, but throwing Twilight into the air. A few pieces of confetti drifted out on the wind.
“That's WAY faster than the dustpan.” Spike's voice came from the tree. "Did we miss any?”
“Looked like a couple pieces went out the door.”
“I've got them!” Rarity called, reaching out and pulling them all together with her horn. "Here you are.” she said, trotting into the library and pulling the pieces with her. Fluttershy floated over to Twilight.
“Need some help?” she asked. Twilight twitched slightly.
“No.” she extricated her head from the tangle of limbs. "I do this all the time.”
“Bet that'd hurt.” Pinkie said. "What with the concussions, and the potential for dislocations. Looks like fun though, so it might be worth it.” she paused, thinking it over for all of a second. "How do you keep your horn from getting stuck?”
“Ugh.” was all Twilight had the energy to manage. A few minutes later, they all were in the library, where the last of the books were being reshelved. Naturally there was an argument going on.
“I'm telling you, first editions always go first.” Spike said, clinging to a copy of a book she couldn't see the title of.
“Yes, but alphabetically, an eighth edition should go first.” Robert replied with a copy of presumably the same book tucked under his wing.
“How long have they been at this?” Twilight asked.
“Several minutes darling. Neither seems willing to give up his authoritative stance.” Twilight's response was cut off by the ding of a microwave.
“Popcorn's done!” Rainbow vanished in a burst of backwash and was in her seat before anyone could form a chiding response. She was indeed eating popcorn. Pinkie stole almost half of it.
“Not that it matters anyway.” Robert grunted. "These got debunked by Canterlot University, Manehattan Medical College and the Zebrican Royal Academy.”
“Yeah, and I read the reports on the first two being faked and I've never seen the research out of the Royal Academy.” Spike retorted.
“I have, and even if the other two were faked, I did the math and it does not check out.”
“Wait a minute, what are you two talking about?” Twilight asked.
“This!” Robert threw something, hard with his foot. It was small and metallic. Rainbow bulleted forward and caught a helmet.
“Whoa, that's awesome.”
“It's for you.” Robert grinned. "Thanks Spike.” he stretched out a paw, and Spike bumped it with his own.
“You two staged this whole thing?” Twilight demanded. "What was that argument about?”
“Oh, no, the argument was real. These did get debunked. Robert waved a copy of Modified Shield Dynamics, eighth edition. "I checked the math myself and they don't hold up in field conditions.”
“What is this?” Rainbow asked. She'd put the helmet on, and was staring out from under it.
“That, is a crash helmet. Isn't it awesome?” Robert replied casually.
“I'd love to see that math, I haven't heard of any of these studies.” Twilight said. The others looked between one another.
“I guess it's a little awesome.” Rainbow said cautiously. At the moment she said awesome, the helmet snapped into it's closed position, and was all but gone under her mane. "I was wrong. IT'S TOTALLY AWESOME.”
“Thank you.” Twilight said.
“You're welcome.” Robert said. "I don't have them on me, but I believe I brought them with. I'll get them when I come back from Appleloosa.”
“Why are you saying thank you?” Rainbow asked Twilight.
“I did the enchanting for him.” Twilight answered. "I'll get the results of the studies from those universities. Why would the medical college do research on that?”
“Oh, cool. How does it work?” Rainbow asked.
“Broken shields induce blow back. Excessively failing shields are a health hazard.” Robert answered Twilight, then turned to Rainbow. "When the enchantments sense you falling the helmet opens up and keeps you from hurting your head, but when collapsed, it shouldn't effect your aerodynamics very much.”
“Awesome.” Rainbow said. "I almost want to try this out, but at the same time, I'd rather not crash if I can help it.”
“Don't worry darling, just keep it on and I'm certain some disaster will befall us that will cause you to crash.” Rarity said.
“Yeah, not very comforting there Rares.” Rainbow laughed. "Thanks for the thought though.”
“Any time Darling.” Rarity said. "Now, we should probably go home, since Robert has a rather long flight tomorrow.”
“Right, umm... Robert, can I walk yah home?” Applejack asked. Robert nodded, and dropped from the second floor, landing softly, not even bothering to open his wings. “Ah don't think Rainbow could have done that without wings.”
“I totally could have.” Rainbow said.
“And would have totally broken your legs.” Twilight laughed. "Seriously how did you do that without breaking your legs?” she asked.
“It's all about making sure you absorb the landing in your legs. Still hurts, but won't snap a bone.” Robert replied. He held out a leg to Applejack, who took it after a moment. "Let us away home.” And he lead her out into the night.
Rainbow Dash stared after them. “Is it just me? Or was that really weird?”
“Not at all.” Rarity said indignantly. "It's always nice to see a gentleman who knows how to treat a lady.”
“Yeah, sure.” Rainbow said, rolling her eyes. She trotted out the door, and exploded upwards towards her house. Rarity sighed, and said her good-byes before heading home. Pinkie said the same and then just vanished. Twilight sighed. Fluttershy flew home after a good-bye with Spike, and fluttered off home.
“Well, that was some part...” Spike's snoring interrupted her. Twilight sighed. She lifted him in her levitation, and flew them both to the second floor. She settled him into his basket, and pulled up the blanket. "Good-night Spike.”
---
Robert and Applejack kept up the locked leg just until they were out of sight of the library, then let go. Partially because they weren't that close, but mostly because it was a really awkward way to walk.
“So...” Applejack started.
“Don't say anything.” Robert advised. "Just enjoy the nice walk.” she gave him a sidelong glance.
“Ah have to.” she said after a minute. He closed his eyes, took a breath and then looked her in the eyes. “Ah'm sorry.”
“Okay, that it?” Robert asked. Applejack's eyes narrowed.
“Ah'm trying to apologize.” she snapped.
“I'm trying to figure out what you're apologizing FOR.” Robert replied.
“Runnin' out of the party.” she said, still a little angry, but less snappish.
“Oh, don't worry about it.” Robert waved a paw. “Apology accepted if you require it, but you're not the first female to flee from me in tears. Besides, scent memory can be inexplicably powerful.”
“Worst of all though, I haven't even thanked you. So thank you.” she held out her hoof. Robert shook it. "Do you want to get the package tonight? Or pick it up in the morning before you leave?”
“I'll get it in the morning. I'm starting to go cross-eyed.” Robert chuckled. "Nocturnal is fine, but when you're around diurnal friends, it messes with your head.”
“Umm.. what?” she asked. "Not Twilight here.”
“I am usually a creature of the night, where ponies are usually creatures of the day. It takes some time to fully adjust to a change in schedule.” Robert shrugged. "So, I'm going to go have a nice long nap, and then in the morning, I shall return for the package and wing away south... ish.” He waved in the wrong direction. She pointed it out. "I'll probably do better in the morning.”
Chapter 32
Robert landed in a long sweep, trotting to a stop in the barnyard of Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack was waiting on the porch for him. “Mornin'.” she called as he trotted up.
“Morning yourself.” he called.
“Here, a package for you, and something for you to eat.” Applejack passed a thick package of letters, and a package of Apple Brown Betties. He raised an eyebrow at the latter. "We're swimming in 'em since the tryouts.”
“Ah. Well, I'll happily take them off your hooves.” He tossed one up and snapped it out of the air. "Delicious. Applejack, I've gotta ask you a honest question, one that I should have asked before now.”
“Shoot.”
“Do you think we can be friends? I can't ask around Twilight because she's convinced it's possible, but I know that it sometimes just isn't meant to be.” he sat down for a moment. "If there's too much bad blood, I'm okay with that, and we can keep it between us. I'd be willing to try though.”
“Ah think we can, but it's not gonna be easy for me.” Applejack admitted. "It's still hard, after all the time hatin'.”
“I can understand that. I still don't like griffons, even if I might call one my friend.” he nodded. "I'll make the effort if you will.”
“Ah can only try.” she offered her hoof, he shook it.
“Well then, with that out of the way, I must take wing.” he looked around. "Lot of nice napping trees here, aren't there.” he pointed with a paw. A tuft of rainbow tail poked out of the trees. Applejack grinned and winked. He turned, got a running start and flapped his way up into the sky. He tipped a wing, swung around, and dove past the tree. Wind from his passing whipped through the branches, rolling Rainbow Dash out. Into a tub of water Applejack had drug into place. Rainbow spluttered as she landed, and pushed her way up out of the water to the sight of Applejack, rolling on the ground laughing. Robert laughed as he winged south. The morning fog cleared as the sun scraped it away from the land. Froggy Bottom Bog came into view not long into his flight, and as he crossed it, he recalled Fluttershy's warning of a hydra. It was not quite the kind of warning to prepare him for actually seeing it. Head's snapped up out of the swamp, reaching up to snatch at him. Fortunately, he was flying out of reach, something he would have suspected a predator with depth perception would have noticed. Fortunately, it didn't have wings, so he was fine as long as he kept in the air. He beat his way past, keeping altitude, even as it tried to chase him. It stopped at the edge of the swamp, roaring in futile rage at the lost meal.
'Better luck next time. Not that I have any intention of going back through there.' Robert thought. He was going to go around on the way back. No point annoying a predator if it could be avoided. He landed near the train crossing just before it went over Ghastly Gorge. The distance to Appleloosa wasn't nearly as far as to Manehattan, but it had one distinct annoyance that the Manehattan trip lacked. It was a long stretch over open grasslands and then out over sun blasted wastes. Until recently it was a three day trip, first to Dodge Junction, then by overland train to the town, with a night spent on the rolling overland. Now a train ran there, but it still took almost three days. Flying, if you knew how to go, was only a two day trek. But it meant you'd have to find somewhere to stop for the night. A pegasus would have no problem, the wise ones catching a cloud to take with them out into the wastes. The slower ones would probably try and whip up one out of the dry air, and possibly succeed if they were smart enough to rise up into the air where there was more moisture. Robert didn't have that luxury, since he couldn't land on the clouds. What he did have, was a life spent on land similar to this, and thus a knowledge of how to survive there. As the sun began to sink below the horizon, he cut his way through the air to the top of a stone tower. It wasn't anywhere near large enough to be called a mesa, and was little more than a stone piling with a flat piece on top. It was too steep to be climbed by anything that couldn't fly, and too high and windy for most of the flying insects to bother with. It was also already occupied. He hovered in the air, considering whether he should wake or simply dislodge the offending griffon with a burst of air. He couldn't fight a griffon in the air. He wasn't that skilled a flier. However, if he had the ground, he could deal with her trying to attack from above. Height was a natural advantage, but it was not insurmountable if one knew how. His better nature won out after a moment.
“Excuse me, you interested in sharing that for the night?”
“You're not that cute.” the griffon said, waving a talon. "Off with you horsefeathers.”
“Neither a horse, nor leaving am I.” Robert replied, eyeing the sun.
“Yeah, right, I'd know another griffon.” she waved a talon. "Shoo.”
Robert fought back a sigh. He spread his wings, and jerked the air forward. The blast hit just at the base of the spine, where the tail met the hips, causing the griffon to yelp and leap into the air. She whipped around.
“You're a Flying Tiger.” she stated the obvious.
“Yes, I've noticed that. Return to sender for a reward.”
“What?” she asked.
“Never mind. Let's try this again. My name is Robert.” he offered a paw.
“Gilda.” she accepted it with a talon. "In the spirit of flying things that probably shouldn't would you like to share the rock with me?”
“In the spirit of not sharing with a scorpion or snake, yes.” They landed, with just enough room to do so. Wings folded there was more than enough room. "So, flying anywhere interesting?”
“Manehattan to catch a ship home.” she answered, examining a wing.
“Ah, just was there last week. Nice place.”
“Too many ponies for my taste.” she sighed.
“Something wrong with ponies?”
“No. Lame creatures who can't take a joke are always awful, no matter the species.” she replied, and settled down.
“Indeed.” Robert settled down himself. "I must admit, my own taste isn't exactly favorable to griffons.”
“Oh?”
“Bandits killed my uncle. Never mind that it's not representative of griffons, but...”
“Yeah, I get that.” Gilda shrugged. "I didn't do it, and you don't seem too worried about me.”
“I understand you.” Robert replied. "Someone tough enough to tell a stranger to leave without looking. And yet, not bothered by the fact that I shouldn't even be up here.”
“Hey, if the universe didn't want you up here, you'd be a greasy stain on the ground. Gravity has a way of putting it's foot down.” Gilda chuckled. "Besides, I'd rather not have anything else on my conscience.”
“Oh?” he asked.
“I'd' rather not think on it.” she replied.
“Fair enough. I don't suppose you've got anything edible up here? I think I've had enough herbivore cuisine to last me a life time.” Robert chuckled.
“Yeah, Ponies are a bit strange. You're in luck though. I stopped for a snack and couldn't finish it.” she dug a claw into her bag and dropped half a raw rabbit on the ground. "Eat your fill, I'll grab something in the morning.”
“Thanks.” he took a bite. "Oh, I've MISSED that.” he took another bite. "Not that the ponies get it.”
“Yeah, tell me about it. Worst part, is they assume everything's been exposed to the magical leakage, and is some brilliant genius”. Gilda sighed. “And they get all uppity when you follow your nature, but the little buggers get praised to no end.”
“Yeah. Some of them are alright though.: Robert admitted.
“I guess. A few of them change so you almost don't know them.” she grunted.
“Sadly, that's not limited to Ponies.” Robert said, looking off into the distance.
“No, I guess it's not. Sun's going down. I'm not interested in anything more than warmth tonight.” she stated outright.
“My fiance would kill me.” 'if I didn't invite her.' Robert left the last bit off. "I'm willing to risk it not to freeze to death.”
“Yeah, my thoughts exactly.” Gilda slid into the middle. Robert slid in close. Feathers rustled for a moment. "Not working.” she stood up, and turned around. "Wing up.” he stretched out his wing, and she stretched hers. After a moment, they were both on the ground, wings wrapping over one another. "There. Comfortable?”
“Surprisingly, yes.” Robert answered. "Night.”
“Night.”
---
“Gilda?”
“Mmmm?”
“Do me a favor, and stop chewing on my tail. I need that.”
Gilda spit the appendage in question out. “Agh.”
“I don't taste that bad.” Robert objected.
“I disagree.” Gilda said, scrubbing her tongue with a talon. "You taste like old socks.”
“Well thanks. You're rather rose scented yourself.” he retorted. Also, your wing is tangled in mine.” she glared at him, then pulled her wing free. "Thank you.”
“You're welcome. And thank you.” she said after a long moment.
“You're welcome. What are you thanking me for?” he asked.
“Keeping me warm. I don't like to admit it and if you tell anyone, I'll peel your hide, but I don't like being cold. Never have. Gotta keep up appearances though, and everyone expects a griffon to love the cold.” she shook her head. "So thanks for keeping me warm.”
“You're welcome. You said you're headed home? Where's home?” Robert asked. He was eager to be on his way, and yet...
“The Aerie. The grand ol' rock.” she smiled. Every griffon did when they talked about it. It was a mountain even taller than Canterhorn, covered in thousands of griffon caves. Two or three room interiors dotting the outsides of the mountain. The highest of them were the most prestigious, but anyone who lived on the mountain was something special. The caves tended to be sparsely furnished, since they were often fought over by the various occupants. Those who wanted to rise in society and those who wanted to keep others down. They'd battle back and forth for days or weeks, and eventually one or the other would come out on top.
“Ah. Can you pass a message for me?” Robert asked.
“Depends on who it's too. And what it is.” Gilda asked cautiously. Not every griffon was welcome everywhere. Family and Clan was important to them, and some places had centuries old feuds going on.
“Ambassador Gris.” Robert answered, and she relaxed completely. No one was refused an audience if he was in the Aerie. No one dared fight him for his place on the mountain. "Tell him that Robert says hello, and that fair winds still follow him.”
“That's all?” she asked.
“It is. I know it's a simple message among griffons, but it has special meaning between us.” Robert smiled. "If you want to ask him, you're welcome to. It's his decision to tell you. If he asks, I have no objection to it.”
“Alright, I'll deliver your message.” she looked at the rising sun. "I guess I should be on my way.”
“Hang on. Would you like breakfast first?” he offered, looking over the side of the rock.
“What's on the menu?” she asked.
“Surprise.” he said, and leaped over the side. He returned several minutes later, wings beating hard as he hefted the carcass of a warthog over the side. "Warthog surprise. And boy was he.” Gilda laughed. "Ladies first.” He waved with a paw. She didn't hesitate and attacked the corpse with gusto, shearing off one of the back legs.
In short order, there was not much left, and what was, they pushed off the side of the rock. “I haven't had Warthog in years. I'd forgotten how good it was.” she clacked her beak together to dislodge a few left over bits of meat.
“Indeed. Nothing quite like it.” Robert said, picking his teeth with a tusk. "Now we can leave.”
“Yeah. Hey, can you pass on a message for me?” Gilda asked.
“Sure.” Robert answered.
“If you ever run into a pony named Rainbow Dash, tell her I'm sorry about the stuff I said, and most of what I did. She'll know what I mean.” Gilda sighed.
“I'll keep an eye out, and pass it on.” Robert agreed. He offered his paw. She shook it with a talon. "Fair winds.”
“Fair winds.” Gilda leaped from the side of the spire, and winged north. Robert leaped off the south side, and cut a path southwards. The cold air was easier on him, density providing lift. As the sun rose, and warmed the air, it began to thin out, and made remaining high a more challenging proposition. Instead though, he traded altitude for speed, swooping down and then racing level to bleed off speed. He made it to Appleloosa just before noon. Flaring his wings to land, he found himself the object of attention from most of the town. He'd expected that. It wasn't exactly a huge town, even after considerable work had been done following Applejack's visit, but also because he was a tiger and one with wings.
“Hello partner. What can we do ya fer?” asked one of the ponies.
“My name is Robert. I'm here to deliver some mail to a pony by the name of Braeburn. Got any idea where I can find him?” This was met with laughter from the assembled ponies. And Pinkie, who had no reason to be there, and even less to be anywhere else. Robert very studiously ignored her.
“That'd be me. Who'd be sending a me a whole tiger in the mail though?” he asked. More laughter.
“Your cousin Applejack. She said you were lonely on these cold, Appleloosan nights.” Robert waggled his eyebrows, getting both even more impressive laughter from the crowd, and a bright red flush on Braeburn's face.
“I don't get gotten often, but I sure can't think of an answer ta that one.” Braeburn admitted. "So's that the only reason for you being here?”
“I was looking for the Buffalo.” Robert announced. Braeburn stated. "Their shaman in particular.”
“Well, that's gonna be a mite more tricky.” Robert's gaze went flat. "See, they've done gone and had their yearly stampede, and we don't really know where they get to while they're gone.”
“Do any of you happen to speak tiger?” Robert asked. Collectively, every single head shook. "Fantastic.” He then unleashed a stream of words in Tiger that caused a water trough nearby to burst into flames.
“Everything okay?” Braeburn asked.
“No.” Robert replied, and took a deep breath. "Do you know which way they went?”
“Off to the south, about two days ago.” Braeburn said. "But you'll never catch them.”
“Yeah, right. Here's your letters. Robert tugged the package out of his bag. Braeburn caught it and before he could say anything, Robert was already at a dead run, wings spreading and carrying him into the air. Someone managed to put the trough out as he chopped through the air southwards.
The stampeding grounds weren't hard to find, and he followed the trail. It wasn't easy, that much was true. But things that were impossible to follow on the ground, could sometimes be seen from the air. What might escape notice on the ground where you could see only one at a time, was far more clear from the air, where you could see a half dozen or more. Robert flew through the air, catching sight of trampled bushes, and broken brush, and disturbed rocks. The remains of a camp site a days run showed him he was on the right trail. He dropped to the ground and investigated. There weren't very many hoof prints, even big buffalo didn't leave many on such sun-baked ground. Tufts of hair on the trampled brambles told him it was a buffalo camp, and he spread his wings to take flight again. The trail lead south towards the hills at the southern edge of the sun blasted wastes. Then into them. As he followed the trail, he saw another camp, this one abandoned just the night before, and he landed again, to ensure he was on the right trail. More hair on more bushes. It was getting late though, and he tucked in to a ledge high on one of the hills to either side of the encampment for the night, after hunting down a rabbit for dinner.
The next morning, he followed the trail again as it curved eastward. It broke into a grassland, obscuring the trail somewhat, but at the same time, making it easier to see the trampled grass of the path, and the spots where they'd halted to graze and rest. Just past noon he passed the camp they'd made the night before, and he beat on, wings pulling great bursts of air, as he sped after them. A nagging little voice pointed out that Rainbow would have caught them already. A second little voice pointed out that she'd have had to search for the herd by scouring the terrain, and wouldn't be on the trail. The first voice pointed out that it didn't matter because she could cover all that terrain in less time than he'd followed.
As sun down approached, he caught sight of a fire being lit. Several buffaloes caught sight of him as he approached, circled once and landed some distance away. He could go straight into the air if he had to, but he preferred to have time to get into the air if they decided he was a threat. “Hail to the herd!” he called as he touched down.
“Hail to the visitor, be friend or foe?” The buffalo that approached was fairly large for a buffalo, but no where so large as the biggest.
“Friend. Friend of a friend of the Shaman of the herd.” Robert responded. Silence reigned for a moment, then the buffalo turned and thundered back to the herd. A moment late he returned with another in tow. Robert bowed, wings half spread.
“You say you are friend of friend to Shaman. Speak the name of the friend.” the newcomer said.
“Zecora is friend to the Shaman.” Robert answered. Silence for a moment.
“I know Zecora. Do I know you?” he asked.
“I am Robert, student of Zecora, and her friend.” Robert replied carefully.
“So you are he who is spoken of in her letters. Greetings friend of the herd.” The shaman smiled. “Come, meet the chief and we shall talk of why you are here.” Robert followed the big buffalo in, and sat near him. “Chief Thunderhooves, this is Robert, student and friend of Zecora.”
“Hail Robert, student and friend of Zecora.”
“Hail Chief Thunderhooves.” Silence reigned for a long moment.
“Can we dispense with the formalities now?” Thunderhooves asked his shaman, who nodded. "Excellent. Robert, I am rather surprised to see a tiger here, much less one who flies the skies.”
“No more surprised to be than I am to be seen here. I came because my teacher said your shaman had a flower that could well..” he raised his wings. "I've been stuck with these for almost a month, following a potion accident. While flying around is pretty fun, I'd like my magic back.”
“Ah, I see. I've never flown, so I don't know how you feel, but I imagine anything can become boring after a while.” Thunderhooves said. "Tell me Long Brew, do you have the flower he requires?”
“I do my chief.” the shaman answered.
“And what will you exchange for this flower?” Thunderhooves asked.
“I do not know it's worth to any but myself. I was unaware of what I should bring to trade.” Robert answered simply.
“The flower is not rare.” Long Brew answered. "The cost is only in the retrieval. Those who enter the Bogg do not always return.”
“A conundrum.” Thunderhooves admitted.
“Perhaps a solution honored chief.” a young buffalo spoke up.
“You have had good luck in the past Strongheart, try your hoof at this.” he waved.
“This simple flower will restore your lost magics?” she asked.
“Not alone, but with Zecora's store of knowledge, it will combine with other things to craft a potion to restore my powers.” Robert nodded.
“I see. What could be of equal value to us?” she wondered aloud. "We have no lost magics to recover.”
“I would offer you goods which I came with, and yet I doubt you have any use for them.” Robert sighed. "I wish I knew more about your people that I could have brought things you would have need of.”
“Then perhaps knowledge. she suggested. "You will be restored the use of your magic and the ability to gain knowledge in it's use, perhaps knowledge is a reasonable trade.”
“I have much knowledge, even on subjects not magic. On what would you like to know?” Robert asked.
“What do you know of buffalo?” Thunderhooves asked.
“Sadly very little. Robert admitted. "I did hear a story once, said to be handed down amongst the buffalo. I know not if it is one you still have.”
“We know many stories, yet some have been lost. By what name do you know this tale?”
“The Great Bison and his Thundering herd.”
“A tale we have heard of, but never heard in it's fullness.” Thunderhooves said.
“Would you accept such a thing in trade for the flower?” Robert asked.
“Lost knowledge for lost power, this I judge a fair trade.” Thunderhooves said. "Let us prepare a meal, and while this is done, you may prepare for the telling of your tale.”
“I shall be ready in due time then.” Robert bowed again.
Chapter 33
The meal was simple, grass, leaves and surprisingly apples. Robert ate and told a few simple stories of home. Then the buffalo gathered around in a huge circle for the telling of the tale. Robert padded gently into the midst of the circle. Rocks were tied to his feet, though for what purpose none could tell.
“Listen now good buffalo, as I weave for you the tale of the Great Bison and his Thundering herd.” Robert opened his mouth, and began to speak in a deep, sonorous voice.
Long ago in ages past, before ponies took the course of the Sun and Moon for their own, there roamed across the great plains of our world a glorious buffalo herd. Thunder cracked as they rolled across the plains. (Here he shook the stones that hung from his legs, cracking them together to substitute for the sound of thunder.) Each day and each night, the herd roamed, free and untamed. Then one day, they reached the edge of the grasslands the called home. The herd turned away, none of them having interest in the cold rock mountains where no grass grew and only ice and snow reigned. None save one. And e'en as the herd thundered on, that one stopped and stared into the mountains. Ice formed sheets high in the mountains, reflecting the early morning light, glistening and glinting in the sun.
That one lone buffalo felt a pull within him, a pull in his heart that demanded his attention. And so he left the herd to it's own travels and travails and stepped off the grasslands, and into the foothills of the mountains. For some time, he knew not what he searched for, nor the path to where it lay. Yet more he knew not where he gained sustenance for he grew neither hungry nor thirsty. Days past, seemingly without end as he traveled, walking deeper and deeper into the mountains, and higher and higher up their sides.
Far away, the thundering herd found him missing, yet in their long travels not one could tell when he had become lost and not a one knew where to look. All thought him either lost or that he would return himself to the herd in due time. And at once both were correct. E'en as they thought these things, far to the east, the lone buffalo accepted that he was truly lost, and even though he continued on towards the ice of the tops of the mountain, he knew that his destination lay ahead. As he walked, his tread became slowly heavier, each foot step seeming to echo more and more, enticing the ice and snow to give way and fall over. Yet he knew he would find no other path to his destination, and so he kept up his pace. Soon though, he found himself between the two highest peaks, and his footsteps echoed through the air. He took one fateful footstep, and the instant it contacted the ground he knew something was wrong.
Down and down the mountain he fell, as the ice gave way beneath him. He tumbled, rolled and crashed. (again the rocks clacked.) Until he at last reached the bottom. Through some miracle he did not understand, he was uninjured as though he'd stepped from the top to the bottom. Yet still he was filled with dread. Unbeknownst to him, high above in the clouds, circled those most dangerous of foes, the windigo. In these long ago days before ponies, the windigoes took the form of the great dragons, who were old even then. Up in the sky, they hid within the clouds, fighting to import a sense of doom within him. Even though he was feeling terror, he continued forward, having no way to climb the cliffs behind. Forward he walked unhindered by the terrible cold that gripped the land. As he strode forward, ice crept upon him and touched his dark coat. Each step brought more cold and more white to him. Soon he was gray as the ashes from a fire, but on he walked. As he strode, he began to think of how foolish he had been. Yet he continued, and soon he was as white as the snow on the mountains.
Now he came to notice the windigoes above him, circling and raging at his defiance. He looked upon them, and felt pity for them. That they should have hearts so cold, and try only to infect others with that same coldness of heart. And so his voice rang out between the mountains. 'Come down beside me, and walk this earth with me. Be warmed by my strength of heart and find your place in this world.'
For sometime he found no answer, then one by one the windigoes departed. He turned and continued his walk. The next morning, he found the windigoes had returned. Again he beseeched them. 'Let me into your hearts, that you may be warmed by my friendship and know my trust.' For a time it seemed as if all would turn and leave, but the last Windigo turned and fell from the sky, landing beside him. It spoke no words, but only turned to follow him. As they walked, the icy cold from the windigo leeched itself into the Buffalo and out of the windigo. Once more the winidigoes returned the next day, and now they faced two buffalo, white and unyielding. The bison entreated them. 'Descend from on high as your brother and come in friendship to walk by my side.'
And this time not one but two of them landed as the rest fled in disgust. But upon returning for a third day, they saw but three buffalo and were bolstered, until the land itself seemed to move and reveal the Bison. Now he was bleached as white as the snow, from the points of his horns to the tip of his tail. He had grown, both in size and strength from the companionship of the once windigoes. One last time his voice issued forth, in an entreaty to the beasts in the skies. 'Come with me and be like your brothers and join us, let go the cold cold hearts that beat within you. Join us on this warm ground.'
Half the number of Windigoes turned to land, but the largest of them, clearly the leader, twisted and rolled around, cutting them off from their path. The screeching sound of windigo speech was drowned out then by the sound of the Bison charging up to meet them in the sky. The leader and her minions turned and met his charge, but the Bison was of the same stuff, and they crashed together. (the stones crashed between his front legs and rattled as he shook them. A stretched wing tip cut a gust of wind into the top of the fire, and for a moment all could see the terrible crash of the bison and windigoes against each other.)
In the end the Great Bison was victorious. The windigoes who wanted to stay left the pack and those who remained were driven away. And they were sent to the far north, not to be seen or heard from again by buffalo or bison. Those who stood with the Bison were led from the frosted lands by the Great Bison, who had seen from the skies the route to freedom. The thundering herd found him just a day later. Not one of them recognized him until he explained himself. The two herds were joined, and the bison roamed the wild grass once more.
Robert collapsed to the ground, exhausted from the tale.
“A most excellent retelling.” Thunderhooves declared. “A tale we shall not lose again.”
“Indeed.” Long brew said. “And I judge it worthy of the flower.”
“As do I.” Thunderhooves said. He looked to Strongheart.
“I would agree Great Chief.” she nodded.
“Very well, will you stay the night?” Thunderhooves said.
“I would be honored.” Robert replied.
---
The next morning, Robert was the first one up. Long Brew woke up as he was building up the morning fire. “Morning. As guest you need not do that.”
“I don't mind.” Robert shrugged. "I admire those who have only hooves to work with, and as much help as even toes are, I will be glad to have my magic back.”
“I can only imagine.” Long Brew admitted. "My magic is not the same as that of the Tigers or the unicorns.”
“Sorry.” Robert apologized.
“No apology necessary.” Long Brew chuckled. "I have long since accepted it. Besides, I have trained with hermetic magic until none is my equal.”
“Hermetic magic?” Robert asked, intrigued.
“The magic of circles and seals.” Long Brew smiled.
“Ah. So that's the word for it.” Robert said. “I'd not heard it in equestrian. I do know a bit about it, but Tigers have never been much for it. Too much time to set up, and then we end up having to obliterate it when we move. I know a few tribes like mine winter in one place, but even then it's got to go before we leave so no one gets hurt from the residual energy.”
“So what do you know?” Long brew asked, setting a pot of water on to boil. No buffalo liked to get up early, so coffee was an absolute must.
“How to recognize them, and how to break into a shield one has created. How to disrupt them from being finished. Incidentally, my sexy dance doesn't do it as well as it does for other forms of magic.” Robert said, continuing to stoke the fire.
“I think I will spare myself and not even ask.” Long Brew said. “Would you perhaps like to learn from me?”
“I would be honored.” Robert said.
“Well, let us see what I can teach you between now and the end of breakfast.” Robert nodded, and listened. “Size of circle or seal is important. The larger the circle the more magic it can contain, but the larger it is, the more power it takes to keep it active.”
---
“Ah, I see from the glaze in your eyes, Long Brew has been teaching.” Thunderhooves said. “I know it well from the faces of the young buffalo.”
“Is Long Brew his real name? Or is it perhaps Long Winded?” Robert asked after a moment, still moderately dazed.
“That was his father.” Thunderhooves nodded. “A wise shaman. But he could talk the ears off of a dragon.” the big buffalo laughed, very nearly shaking the ground.
“My grandfather was worse.” Long Brew said. “Once he settled down to talk, the entire herd simply gave up and waited. Often we would wait days while he finished his opening.” laughter resounded in the background. “Eventually he was banned from telling the great tales. No one wanted to sit for a week to hear even his amazing telling.”
“I wonder why.” Robert said, slowly opening and closing his eyes. “Ah-ha, at last I once more have feeling in my eyelids.”
“Very funny.” Long brew said.
“What's for breakfast?” Robert asked, to turn the conversation in a less potentially destructive direction.
“Stewed swampgrass.” Thunderhooves said. “With a side of oak leaves.”
“And some fish for you.” Strongheart said. The other two buffalo looked at her. “I thought he might like something not grass.” she said with a shrug.
“Thank you very much.” Robert said. “I admit, it's been trying to eat only vegetarian as my hosts.”
“How do tigers deal with such things?” Thunderhooves asked.
“Transmutation. Most of us can transmute our food into other things so we grow vegetables and turn them into meat.” he answered. “Lots and lots of cabbages. They seem to be the best thing for transmutation for some indiscernible reason.”
“Water is a chemical component in many transmutation spells. So having it in the cabbage eases the transition to other foods.” Long Brew said. Everyone stared. “I did a lot of experimentation on it.”
“Very interesting.” Robert said, and nodded to Strongheart as she set his plate in front of him. “Thank you.” Steamed fish wasn't necessarily his favorite, but it was still very good. He pressed his paws together and spoke a few words. “Thank you for your sacrifice.”
“Who is he talking to?” Strongheart whispered to Long Brew. Robert pretended not to hear since she was whispering.
“He speaks to the spirit of the fish.” Long Brew replied. “An ancient custom amongst hunters.”
“Oh.”
With the meal finished, they broke camp. “Well, I suppose we must go our separate ways for now.” Robert smiled. “Perhaps sometime in the future I'll come back and learn more from you.” he offered a paw to Long Brew.
“I would like that. Someone who knows more magic than these.” He waved a hoof at the herd, several of whom laughed.
“I would welcome you among us again.” Thunderhooves added. “Especially should you bring more stories with you.”
“I'll try to remember some great chief.” Robert bowed and offered his paw. Thunderhooves shook it.
“Do you think you could tell your Ponyville friends I said hello?” Strongheart asked.
“I can indeed.” he shook her hoof. “With that, I leave you to it. May the land quake at your passage, and trouble part before you.”
“Fair winds and fortune.” Thunderhooves replied.
“Blue.” Long Brew said. None of them seemed to know what to say.
“Good-bye, have a safe trip.” Strongheart said.
“And you.” Robert turned then paused. “Umm... I forgot the flower.” laughter rolled through the herd.
Chapter 34
Winging north, Robert stopped and watched the cloud of dust as the herd thundered away through the grasslands. Then he turned and headed north. The sky had almost no clouds in it, and there was nothing but a few vultures circling as he beat his way up over the blasted wastes. Night fall found him with no where to land, until he caught sight of a grove of trees. It could have been a mirage he supposed,but he couldn't tell until he landed, and he swooped down, in a long sloping descent until he hit his head on a branch. He righted himself on the ground, and rubbed his head. Fortunately he hadn't hit too hard nor had he knocked any fruit to the ground. He did have double vision, which wasn't the best sign. It cleared up as a pony approached him. Yellow with a dark red mane, he had a flash of some strange amalgamation of Fluttershy and Big Mac. The very idea made him mildly nervous.
“Well, at least you haven't done any damage to my tree.” she said. She sounded... odd.
“Good.” he managed after a moment.
“Don't tell me you've got amnesia.” she said, glaring.
“No ma'am.” he answered. “Just awful hard to sort out the voice from the ringing in my ears.”
“Oh dear. I think we'd better see a doctor.” she said, tucking a leg under his.
“I fail to see how a proctor will help.” he said. She sighed.
“Why me?”
“Fate? Destiny? Some other horrible game?” he replied.
“Oh dear.”
The doctor wasn't too thrilled at being woken up, even for an emergency. “He'll be fine.” he said after a few minutes.
“You're sure?” Cherry Jubilee asked.
“Which of us has the medical degree?” he asked.
“Neither of us.” she replied.
“Exactly, I'm a dentist. Why do you people keep bringing me sick patients?”
“Because you're all we've got.” she replied.
“Darn tootin'.” he paused, realized she'd gotten the better of him, then shook his head. “Look just keep a watch on him tonight. Doesn't seem to have a concussion, but just in case. Anyway the ringing should subside. The snark I can't do anything about without giving him a concussion.”
“Thank you.” Cherry said, laughing. “I'll take him home.”
“Please do.” she led the now somewhat less dazed, but still ringing tiger out of the doctors office and back to her home.
“Here, why don't you lie down here, and we'll talk for a while.” she said, leading him to a couch.
“I can't lie down and walk.” he said.
“TALK.”
“Oh.” he climbed on the couch, and settled in. “Talk about what?” he asked.
“Well, who are you first of all?”
“I am the greatest wizard in all the land. Princess Twilight Sparkle!” he waved his wings dramatically. She started. “No, my name is Robert.” he held out a paw. She shook it.
“Cherry Jubilee.” he kissed the top of her hoof. Her face turned nearly the same color as her mane. “Oh my.”
“So,where exactly am I?”
“Dodge Junction.” she answered.
“Ah.” he considered his response. “I gather we're sitting up because I have a concussion?”
“He didn't think so, but better safe than sorry.” she nodded. “Can I get you anything?”
“Some water please. I haven't had any since I left the Buffalo.” she blinked, but nodded. She returned with not a glass, but an entire pitcher. He thanked her, then drank the entire thing. “Sorry.”
“It's okay. What were you doing with the buffalo?” she asked.
“Honestly? Seeking a flower to restore my magical powers.” she blinked.
“Seriously?” he nodded.
“Really. I can show you if you like.” he offered.
“I'd like that.” she said. He dug into his bag, and extracted the wooden container. He twisted the top, revealing a glass window showing inside. Inside lay an orchid, glowing softly purple and pulsating in time with something unseen. “It's beautiful.” she said in an almost whisper. “What is it?”
“Thuamus Orchidae.” he replied. “ Literally, a magical flower.”
“Wow.” he slid the window closed, and tucked the flower safely back in his bag. “So, magic huh? You some kind of unicorn?”
“Not exactly.” Robert chuckled. “I am a Tiger Shaman, and these” he waved his wings. “are my special talent. Part of it. Anyway, I was learning to make use of potions and one exploded and the next thing I know, I'm stuck with them. And my magic is completely turned off. Or rather stuck in the on position.” he ruffled his wings again.
“Hmm... sounds... awkward.” she admitted.
“Nowhere near as awkward as having to be taught to fly by Rainbow Dash.” he muttered not quite under his breath.
“Rainbow Dash? You know her?” Jubilee started.
“She's pretty hard to avoid.” Robert chuckled. “Do you know her?”
“Well, yes...” she explained. Robert laughed.
“Oh, that's too funny.” he shifted. “She taught me how to actually fly.”
“Flying wasn't part of your talent?” she asked, understandably confused.
“No. My talent is for transmutation. Being able to sprout wings is just an extension of that. Before the accident, all I could do was glide. Whether I'll be able to actually fly after my magic comes back, I'm not sure.” he shrugged. “I can't say I wouldn't miss it, but at the same time, I'd rather have my mojo back.”
“I can imagine. So you can't do your special talent without your magic?” she asked. He paused for a long time.
“I've honestly not tried.” he coughed. “I always assumed it was based in my magic.” He held up a paw, and stared at it. Nothing happened. “I guess it is. Either that, or my technique is bound in my magic.”
“Well, nothing to be done about it right now, though you might consider using some other technique.” she smiled. “Never know when something might explode.”
“True enough.” he sighed. “Satisfied I'm okay to sleep?”
“Yes. How're your ears?” she asked, standing.
“Still attached, but the ringing is fading.” he smiled.
“Well, I'm going to bed. Need anything?” he shook his head. “Good night.”
“Good night.”
---
Cherry woke to the smell of pancakes. She was fairly sure she didn't have the things needed to make pancakes, so she was understandably nervous as she came down stairs. Robert was in the kitchen, cooking pancakes, and muttering to himself. The pan seemed to be flipping them of it's own accord.
“Morning.” he said as she reached the bottom of the stairs.
“Morning. How?”
“The buffalo shaman reminded me there's more than one way to do magic, something I should have remembered myself. A simple animation spell to run the pan. And a little transmutation circle to turn what you did have into what you didn't.” he pointed to one drawn on the stove around the pan, and one on the counter, containing cinnamon she was certain she hadn't had the night before.
“Aren't those dangerous?” she asked, sitting down.
“Only if they're not watched, and I am. However, they're jut drawn in chalk and any disruption will break them up.” he prodded the circle on the counter, and the cinnamon turned back into baking powder. “Just like that.”
“Interesting. You didn't have to make breakfast. You are the guest after all.” she pointed out, as he caught the pancakes on a plate and dropped it in front of her. She picked up a fork and took a bite. “Blueberry? How'd you know?”
“I figured that running a cherry orchard would mean you liked every other flavor.” she laughed. “I know I'd be happy to eat anything else.”
“I don't just grow cherries, I make food from them. It's impressive to see just what you can cook from cherries that barely taste like cherry at all.” she said and took another bite.
“Indeed. I'm impressed.” Robert said, and caught his own pancakes. He turned off the stove and broke the circle as the pan landed on the burner. “Not much for cherries myself.”
“Not many are.” she admitted. “Of course, those that like 'em , can't get enough of 'em.”
“True.” They ate in more or less silence.
“You heading out?” she asked. He nodded.
“I've been away a while, and I'm rather excited about getting back.” she smiled.
“Well, you let Applejack know I remember her.” she said. “And here, this is for you.” she handed him a package. “Some food for the road, without a cherry in sight.” he laughed.
“Thank you. I'll be sure to deliver your message. Good-bye.” she waved, and he trotted forward, then spread his wings and threw himself into the air. North west towards Ponyville. Half a days flight found him wheeling over the castle of the two sisters. He'd been told about it, but hadn't seen it for himself. He dove and swooped past it, wings carrying him in a long lazy circle before he turned and beat west again towards town. Fluttershy was the first one to see him, as he approached her house. He swooped low, spun around and landed at a trot.
“Hello Robert.” She smiled at him. “Have a nice trip?”
“Heh. It was interesting.” he chuckled. “How're the animals?”
“Doing much better. They'll be ready whenever you are I think.” she said, sounding far more confident than her phrasing let on.
“Good. How about you?”
“I'm...” there was a very long pause. “better.” she said. “Would you like to hear about it?” he nodded. “Perhaps over tea?” he grinned.
---
“That was surprisingly unexpected. I wouldn't have thought you'd volunteer for all those.” Robert admitted.
“Well, I could get up and sing without everyone knowing it was me, and it was... freeing.” she said. “Stage Fright is...”
“Pretty awful.” Robert nodded. She raised an eyebrow. “No where as bad as yours, but for years I would do anything to avoid going up on stage where people were looking at me.”
“How did you get over it?” she asked.
“I didn't. I don't think you can. Like my fear of heights, I just have to remember that being brave isn't an absence of fear, but action in it's presence.” Robert smiled. “I am grateful each day for having learned that.”
“Action in the presence of fear.” she nodded. “Like the dragon.”
“Like the Dragon.” he agreed. “Excellent tea.”
“Thank you. I use it for calming stomachs. Mostly mine.” she smiled. He smiled back. “So what happened on your trip?”
“Well...” he started talking.
“Oh, that poor hydra.” Robert declined to comment on that one.
“G-gilda? You spent the night with her? How... how...”
“She asked me to tell Rainbow Dash she was sorry for what she said, and most of what she did.” he paused. “Said she'd know what it was about.” he left the part out with the meals. Particularly since Angel was curled up on one end of the couch, and Robert didn't want to have to deal with him.
“Oh. Well, you'd better ask Rainbow.” Fluttershy said, clearly bothered.
“Right, let's see...” Robert continued.
“Did you really say that to him?” she asked.
“Yeah, he seemed to think it was funny. I don't think I'll mention it to Applejack.”
“No, probably better not.” she agreed. He got on with his story. “Fish?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh.”
“I know.”
“It's just...” he took a breath. “Circle of life. I gave thanks to their spirits.”
“Thank you.” she said. “Continue.”
“Sure.” he kept going.
“Cherry Jubilee?” she asked. “I remember her.”
“Very nice mare. Stayed up with me until we were sure I didn't have a concussion.” he replied.
“Yes, very nice of her. You sure you're okay?” Fluttershy asked.
“You're welcome to check.” he said. She did, running him through the standard selection of tests. “Thank you.”
“You're welcome.” she flushed. “You really should try not to hit your head.”
“I will try to remember that, and not being Rainbow Dash, I'll probably succeed.” he smiled.
“That's not very nice. True, but not very nice.” Fluttershy said, smiling slightly.
“I know. Which is why I'm not telling her, because that'd be mean.” Robert said. “Besides, I don't really believe it.”
“I do, even though it's not very nice.” Fluttershy admitted.
“Well, that's why I got her the helmet.” he grinned. She smiled back after a moment. “Let's see, where was I?”
“Cherry Jubilee?” Fluttershy prompted.
“Oh, right.” he finished the story.
“Wow. So... why didn't you take the train home?” she asked.
“I didn't think of it?” he said, after a long moment. “I probably should have.”
“It's okay. You can't think of everything.” she smiled. “You'd probably better go see the others.” she led him to the door, and saw him out. He trotted down the length of the path, and spread his wings. Two beats later he was in the air, and heading for the center of town. He got lucky, Rainbow Dash and Twilight were coming in for a landing from flight practice. He followed them down, drifting out of the skies to land just behind them on Twilight's balcony.
“Hey Robert.” Rainbow said as she landed. Twilight started, botched the landing and rolled through the open doors.
“You're really hard to sneak up on, you know that?” Robert asked. Dash buffed a hoof on her chest.
“Yeah, I know I am.” she grinned. “You okay Twi?”
“Fine.” she said in a voice indicating she was clearly not.
“So, how was your trip?” Rainbow asked, as she helped Twilight upright.
“Surprisingly long.” he replied, and settled in to tell it. They didn't interrupt him until the end.
“So, what was Gilda's message?” Dash asked with a level tone.
“She said she was sorry for everything she said, and most of what she did.” Robert said. Then he looked Rainbow in the eye. “Fluttershy said I should ask you what happened. Gilda didn't seem interested in telling me, but the look on her face said it was something bad. I'm not big on griffons as a general rule, but she was nice enough to share her perch with me.”
“Alright, I'll explain.” Rainbow started talking, telling the tail, with Twilight filling in a few missing pieces. Pinkie arrived part way through, with a face full of what he dearly hoped was custard that she refused to explain. She picked up the narrative for the part of the day she'd followed Gilda. Then they culminated in the party, the blow up, and the blow off.
“That's everything.” Pinkie said, to the nods of the others.
“She left the party, took wing to the west, and we never saw her again.” Rainbow added.
“Well, I guess that explains it then. Though I thought she'd have headed home sooner.” Rainbow's ears flicked up at home.
“Home?” she asked, far too casually to be anything other than interest.
“To the Aerie.” Robert said, anticipating a reaction.
“WHAT?!” Rainbow was across the room, and up against his face instantly. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, she said it herself.” Robert replied.
“This is bad. She told me she'd never go back.” Rainbow's breath came in short bursts. “Look didn't you ever wonder why she was here in Equestria?” heads shook. “She didn't meet griffon standards so she left home and came here. Her parent's disowned her. If she goes back, she's clanless and she knows that.” Rainbow left somethings unsaid. Clanless griffons were not necessarily completely screwed. Some clans would take on the clanless for a price. Others would actively hunt clanless. For those disowned like Gilda, there were two ways out. A quick death, or a death in battle would redeem them by law. Or they could appeal to the emperor. Sometimes that would allow an intervention, a restoration to clan and family. Other times... “We've got to stop her.”
“Twilight.” Robert said. “Can you get us to Manehattan?”
“I.. I think so.” Twilight said. There was a flash.
---
Twilight... missed. Not the city. She wasn't that bad. The ground on the other hand, that she missed by a few thousand feet. Upside, all three of them had wings. Down side, they arrived upside down. Rainbow Dash was completely non-pulsed, rolled over and exploded away towards the docks. Twilight flashed again, was upright and caught herself. Robert fell some hundred feet before the benefit of Rainbow's freefall training kicked in, and he spread one wing caught air and rolled up right. Twilight fell to his level. “She went this way.” they followed the rapidly fading trail of rainbow light towards the docks. Rainbow Dash was on the docks, or just above them, ducking between masts and shipping containers. The harbor was in the middle of a loading cycle, as it moved cargo on and off incoming and outgoing ships, with several already loose their moorings and waiting for a clear path out, and several waiting for a clear path in. Pegasi Harbor pilots were streaming from ship to ship, guiding some in, guiding others out, and occasionally taking up position in the air, or just above the water. The force in the air was directing and communicating, the force jut over the water was monitoring the current and watching for eddies. Twilight ignored Rainbow, and touched down just outside the main office. A few moments work brought her the name of the ship Gilda was traveling on. It was one of the newest ships, a steam ship, which would be leaving the docks soon. She thundered out of the office, beat her way into the air, and caught Rainbow making a circuit. She shouted the name of the ship as the rainbow mare flashed past. She nodded.
The ship was already out of the harbor when they found it. It was a griffon captained steamer. Twilight landed on the deck, and asked for the Captain. She was directed to the bridge, which she flew to.
“Captain, I need you to stop your ship.” she called to him as she stepped into the bridge. Robert landed outside.
“And I should listen to you why?” the captain asked, not turning to look at her. He was a dark navy griffon with white tipped feathers.
“My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle.” she began.
“You show me no respect, I see no reason to show you any.” he replied, cutting her off.
“Captain, permission to come aboard?” Robert asked from the door.
“Granted.”
“Permission to enter the bridge?”
“Granted.”
“Thank you captain. My friend is unaccustomed to Naval courtesies.” Robert said. “My name is Robert. We're looking for one of your passengers.”
“She a fugitive?” The Captain asked. He still hadn't looked at them. There was a Pegasus focused on the steering of the ship.
“No, but she might be in some danger from going home. I asked her to take a message and so it'll be my fault if she's hurt because of it.” Robert said.
“Hmm... I don't want anyone hurt, but at the same time...” the captain sighed, and looked away. The Pegasus relaxed slightly. “I do have a right to protect the privacy of my passengers.”
“Couldn't you just ask if we could talk to her?” Twilight said. The captain leveled a glare at her.
“Princess, I understand your concern, but this is my ship and for all intents and purposes I am it's ruler. I expect some courtesy while you are aboard.” the captain turned back to Robert. “Is there some reason I should even admit to such a passenger?”
“I asked her to take a message to Ambassador Gris.” Robert said. “I didn't have certain facts at the time.”
“What is taking so long?” Rainbow asked from the door. She came into the bridge, but hadn't technically set foot on it. The captain didn't look at her.
“I see. What's her name?”
“Gilda.”
“One moment.” he turned and had a word with one of his officers. A green plumed griffon darted off the bridge. “He went to ask if she'd come to my cabin.” Rainbow all at once seemed to realize where she was, and looked at the captain.
“Sorry Captain. Shouldn't have barged in. Permission to come aboard?” she asked. He considered it.
“Granted. And thank you for the apology. However, if we could clear the bridge?” Rainbow nodded and ducked out. Twilight seemed torn by indecision. Robert nudged her.
“Umm...”
“Yes Princess, you have permission to come aboard. I'll have someone show you to my cabin.” Robert sighed and pushed her out the hatchway. The captain shook his head, and turned back to the pilot pegasus.
“How much longer?” he asked.
“We're passing the breakwater now. I leave you at the outer marker.”
“Right.” he paused. “Can you hold us at the outer marker, and make sure our guests and potentially a passenger get safely back to the harbor?” pause.
“Yes captain.”
“Good, the last thing I want is to find out a Princess of Equestria left my ship and drowned in her own harbor.” the captain snorted. The first mate laughed. No one else dared.
---
“Robert, I can deliver a message without any...” Gilda froze solid when she saw who was in the cabin. “NO. NO.” She tried to back out, only to find the griffon who'd escorted her was blocking her path.
“Gilda.” Rainbow Dash voice very nearly cracked. She got control of herself.
“Gilda, come in here.” Robert said it softly, but there was something undeniable in his voice. She stepped in to the cabin. The griffon swung the hatch closed. “Why didn't you say anything when I asked you to deliver a message?” he asked.
“I was going to, but... no one is barred access to him.” she said. “I figured I'd deliver the message and then move on.” to an appointment everyone except Twilight knew would have to come next. Twilight had done some reading of late on griffon culture, but hadn't reached the bit on clanless yet.
“And you wouldn't have mentioned it to him would you?” Rainbow asked.
“What's the point?” Gilda snapped. “It wouldn't change a thing.”
“You know that's a load of complete horse apples.” Rainbow snapped. “I am not the most politically aware pony, because they're lame,” indignant snort from Twilight “but telling him would get him on your side. You know how he feels about it.”
“Yeah, and how weak would that be? Some griffon I'd be, getting him to fight my battles for me.” Gilda growled back. “'Oh Please, I can't do anything myself, talk for me' Psh, yeah right.”
“Idiot.” Rainbow snapped, and lunged. The fight was short and ugly. Rainbow was fast and strong, Gilda was strong and if not as fast, more than capable of holding her ground. Rainbow hit her once, then Gilda hit once. And then Twilight broke up the fight. Both of them stopped when they hit hoof and talon against a solid purple barrier.
“Enough.” her voice brooked no argument. “Tell me, in plain terms what this is about.” her eyes narrowed. “NOW.” Reluctantly, with a request of sound-proofing, she was told the story. “So you were going home to die.” she said, voice still flat.
“I don't think it would have come to that.” Gilda said. “My parents would have relented.” 'probably.' she left the last unspoken.
“You know Ambassador Gris?” she asked Robert. He nodded. “How?”
“He brought me the head of the griffon who killed my Uncle.” Robert replied. Silence marked the cabin for several minutes. “He's one of only two griffon's I like.” Gilda blinked at him.
“Great. You, don't you have friends?” she asked Gilda.
“A couple. I've never had many. I lost a few.” she looked guiltily at Rainbow. They were both nursing bruises and bruised egos.
“Not this one.” Rainbow said. “Never completely. Even if you were a big jerk.”
“A MEANIE MEAN PANTS!” Pinkie said from a potted plant before vanishing. Gilda blinked, no one else noticed.
“Really?” she asked.
“You think I'd have come all the way here for anyone but a friend?” Rainbow demanded.
“No, I guess not.” the ship slowed. “What?”
“Looks like we're holding at the outer marker. Probably waiting for us to leave.” Robert said, looking out the porthole.
“Then we'd better hurry this up, so we don't delay the captain.” Twilight said. “What can we do to help?”
“Nothing.” Gilda said. “The word of ponies isn't going to help my case.” she hung her head. “I guess I'll have to stay here.” she looked back at Equestria.
“No, you won't.” Robert said. “You have a message to deliver. Honor demands you deliver it.” he stood up. “However, I want to include a letter with it.”
“NO.” she snapped all at once. “You won't do that to me.”
“I'm not doing a bloody thing to you.” Robert snapped back, with a deep throated growl. “I am writing a letter to my friend, which you are going to deliver. He'll want you to bring me a response. I'll be happy to see you when you return.” he glanced at Rainbow. She nodded imperceptibly.
“Come on, let's see what this ship has to drink while he writes his letter.” Rainbow said.
“Look I...” Rainbow shoved her out the door, and closed it behind them.
“Are they safe alone?” Robert asked. Twilight nodded. “Good.” he tugged paper out of his bag, and a quill. “I hope the captain doesn't mind me borrowing some ink.” he scribbled out a fairly sizable letter in fairly short order, rolled it, and sealed it. The only thing he used of the captains was ink and some drying sand. He left a couple of bits on the desk. “Let's go find them.”
“What did you write?” Twilight asked.
“A private letter.” Robert replied. “Trust me. It's best you don't know. You might not be aware, but your poker face is even worse than your dancing.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“What are friends for?” Robert smiled. They found Gilda and Rainbow having a surprisingly friendly conversation in the galley, over two tankards of something. They were empty, and didn't smell of cider.
“Hey, there's my bud!” Gilda said, and threw a leg over his shoulders.
“Ha! Griffon gal's a lightweight!” Rainbow said, and missed the table. Twilight plunked the tankard on the table.
“So's the Pegasus apparently.” she smiled. Rainbow laughed, completely missing the sarcasm.
“So, gots the letter?” Gilda asked. Robert showed it. “Let's see what he wrote?” she said and tugged at the scroll. Nothing happened. “What?” She jerked harder. Her best efforts didn't budge it at all. “What gives?”
“Only the intended recipient can open those.” Robert replied pointing at the seal. “Anyone else can try just about anything they like. Even complete destruction won't get them open. Only returned to sender.” he stuck his tongue out at her.
“That's not fair. Half the fun of being a courier is reading the mail.” Gilda pouted.
“Yeah!” Rainbow said.
“Well not mine.” Robert snorted. “Keep it safe for me?” Gilda nodded.
“I will.” she tucked it into her feathers. “He'll get it, I promise.”
“Good.” he turned to Twilight.
“I'll take her home.” she walked over, wrapped a leg around Rainbow and there was a purple flash. Robert trotted out of the Galley, then up to the entrance to the bridge and tapped on the wall. “Captain?”
“Yes?” the captain said, turning.
“Twilight Sparkle took our Pegasus friend home via teleport. I thought I'd let you know that I'm leaving.”
“Thank you. Can you escort our pilot out as well?” The Pegasus looked about to object, then thought better of it.
“Certainly. Fair winds and safe voyage captain.” Robert waved as the Pegasus passed him.
“Fair winds Robert.” the tiger turned and followed the Pegasus into the air. The ship built up steam and headed out to sea.
“You don't have to escort me you know.” the Pegasus said.
“You're escorting me.” Robert said. “I heard that much.” she flushed. “I have great ears.”
Chapter 35
Robert took the train home. He'd had all the flying he could handle for one day, and didn't feel like trying to get a teleport. Pinkie was waiting at the train station. “Hello Pinkie, sorry I didn't catch you the first time I came back.”
“It's okay, I know it was an emergency requiring a quick teleport to Manehattan and the rescue of Gilda the Mean-meanie pants griffon from certain death.” Pinkie replied. “I really wanted to hear about the rest of your trip.”
“Sugarcube Corner?” he asked. “I've been missing their Super Chocolate Muffins.”
“Muffins?” Derpy asked, appearing from thin air. “Where?”
“Sugarcube Corner, duh.” Pinkie laughed. The trip was short, and soon they were seated, eating muffins while Robert told the story.
“So, did they mention me at all?” Pinkie asked. He thought it over.
“Not by name, but he said to tell my Ponyville friends hello.” Robert answered after a moment. “So Hello.” Pinkie coughed.
“Hello!” Derpy grinned. Robert laughed. “What?”
“Nothing. So, that everything you wanted Pinkie?” Robert asked.
“Yeppers. Oh, and welcome back.” she stood up. “Gotta get back to work.” she pronked into the kitchen.
“What about you Derpy?” Robert asked.
“Got the day off actually.” she coughed. “I was going to see about a job, but you're back and well...”
“No problem. I've seen everyone but Rarity and Applejack. And those two are going to be a little bit longer of a talk anyway.” he sighed. Rarity wouldn't be a problem. Applejack was going to be a bit of a strange one.
“Okay. So.. you want to hang out?” she asked.
“Yeah.” Robert nodded. “Sounds like fun. Do you know where Lyra's gone? I was looking for her before I left and she seems to have vanished.”
“No, I'm not sure exactly. We've been forwarding her mail to her parent's in Canterlot. None of it's come back so she must be getting it.” Derpy said. “I haven't seen Bon-bon in a while either, come to think of it.”
“Ah, probably having a romantic get away then.” Robert nodded.
“Probably from the flute.” Derpy grinned.
“Which probably annoyed the glaziers to no end.”
---
The flute playing had been getting better, but not nearly fast enough for Bon-bon's neighbors. Some of them had taken to throwing things to make the noise stop, which meant the windows broke, which unfortunately only amplified the noise.
Eventually, the local glaziers had caught on and started throwing things at calculated weak points. That guaranteed the window would break, and thus would need replacing. After the third night, Bon-bon had stopped replacing the windows and taken to returning fire. Since one of her specialties, was getting others to help, she'd enlisted Pinkie to bring all the rock candy she could muster up. Pinkie had brought a catapult as well.
Twilight sent them away for a while to cool down. Lyra had wanted to bring the flute. Bon-bon voted rather enthusiastically NO. They'd just gotten back in time for the Ponytones, which Bon-bon had no intention of missing. Twilight offered to let Lyra practice her flute in the castle of the Two Pony Sisters, figuring nothing out there would be bothered by the noise. So she was sitting at the pipe organ. She'd rather thorougly made her excitement known. Bon-bon, who'd come with just so Lyra wouldn't be alone, it was still the Everfree even if everything avoided the castle like mad, had a hard time reminding her she was hear to learn the flute, not play the pipe organ. The mint green unicorn had finally, reluctantly agreed on the condition she would come back and play it later.
Bon-bon was not Twilight's biggest fan. She didn't actively dislike Equestria's newest princess, but found her just a little... more eccentric than she preferred. Which was saying something considering her marefriend. However, Twilight's novel solution both to Lyra's problem, and her own had done a considerable amount to improve her opinion of the princess. Lyra's problem was simple enough, she couldn't play because she didn't know what it was supposed to sound like. Twilight had procured records of flute performances through some connections in Canterlot. Neglecting to mention that said connection was Trixie, was a political maneuver worthy of Celestia. The second had been Bon-bon's own growing distaste for even properly played flute. Which was why the pony in question was now wearing a pair of... ear rings that sat at the base of each ear, and filtered out the specific notes which a flute was capable of producing.
Lyra had been slightly disappointed that she was losing her primary audience, but Bon-bon had replied that she wasn't losing an audience, she was gaining a surprise. If Bon-bon couldn't hear what she was playing, then the first time she played her composition in full would be a surprise. Lyra had been mollified a little. So they practiced in one of the upstairs rooms, so as to be out of the way if Twilight came to do more research in the castle.
“I think I've finally gotten it.” Lyra said. The sound was slightly blurred, since Lyra's speech patterns naturally crossed the frequencies with that of the flute. It was an unfortunate, but also uncorrectable flaw in the design of the sound muffling rings. Bon-bon raised an eyebrow. “Really this time. Willing to listen?”
“Sure.” Bon-bon reached up and raised the rings. Lyra concentrated, horn flaring to life. The hands gripped the flute, and she played. Bon-bon's eyes slowly widened. The melody floated in the air around them. She recognized it, she'd heard it often enough, and knew it well. Yet this time, it was note perfect. The trouble spot approached, and then flowed past without so much as half an octave off. Bon-bon noted idly that the hands had grown another finger each. Whatever it was seemed to work, and Lyra played through to the end. “Wow.”
“Thanks.” the unicorn managed after a moment. “It's a bit harder than it looks.”
“I can imagine. You know, now that you've learned to play, perhaps we should take advantage of this lonely castle, full of nothing but old shadows and the two of us.” Bon-bon grinned.
“Ooh, I like the way you think.” Lyra laughed.
---
“This flower, it contains all the required power.” Zecora said. Robert had flown out with Derpy. “But night time is the right time for the potion brew. No other time of day will do.”
“I think she's reaching.” Derpy said.
“All the time you rhyme, and reach you will my delightful peach.” Zecora chuckled.
“Indeed, hard it will be to find the words you need.” Robert said, straight faced.
“Not you too.” Derpy rolled her eyes, one in each direction.
“Sorry, can't help myself.” Robert chuckled. “Anything I can do to help oh teacher mine?”
“Nothing. We simply need work the potion by the light of the moon. Until then, there is nothing to be done. Return then, and we shall fix this, no moment too soon.” Zecora smiled.
“Alright, thank you teacher.”
“No problem. Now go, and when you return we shall solve 'em.” she shooed them out the door. “Fly, fly, go now off into the sky.” she slammed the door.
“I guess that means she doesn't need help.” Robert chuckled. Zecora's head appeared out of her window.
“No, No, Go, Go!”
Derpy laughed, turned, and took off into the sky. Robert shook his head, and followed her up.
“So, you know the problem with flying around like this.” she said after a minute, as they headed back towards town.
“She's working.” Robert said.
“You think that matters?” Derpy asked. “She never works except the last ten minutes of any shift.” Derpy said.
“Who doesn't?” Rainbow asked, appearing from above.
“You.” Derpy replied. “Unless it's an emergency.”
“Yeah, I'm that awesome.” she laughed, and rolled over to take up position left of Derpy. “You two going flying? And not asking me along?”
“No, as a matter of fact, we were looking for you.” Derpy said. “We figured you wouldn't want to miss a flight on such a nice day.”
“Liar.” Rainbow laughed.
“Not at all. I wanted to avoid bothering you, Derpy said we should go find you before you found us.” Robert said.
“Liar.” Rainbow grinned. “But thank you both for it.” she rolled up into the air over them. “Come on, let's fly.” she burst out ahead of them. Derpy threw herself into the chase. Robert didn't bother. Endurance, spades. Speed? Not so much. Not that he didn't speed up a little, but he wasn't going to be matching Derpy, much less Rainbow. He began climbing though. The long slow climb took him high up, where he could see the majority of Ponyville. Rainbow was clearly visible, staying just ahead of Derpy. The fact that Rainbow could have simply blown away from Derpy, yet was only keeping a little ahead of her spoke volumes about the prismatic Pegasus. He knew from tales from the others, that for all her loyalty, she'd always had a huge competitive streak. She must have come a long way from that to be keeping just ahead of the pony she was racing. They stopped in the park, hovering just above the tree tops. Robert tipped his wings and dove, swooping down just out of sight behind a two story house, then swinging around the side. He looked for all the world as if he'd been trying to keep up with them for most of the race.
“Hey there Slowpoke.” Rainbow teased. “Nice of you to finally join us.” Robert used several naughty words. Two of them in griffon, which prompted laughter from Rainbow and confusion from Derpy.
“What's funny?” Derpy asked after a long moment.
“His accent.” Rainbow managed and continued laughing. “It's...” she collapsed out of the air. The other two followed her down to the ground. “He was speaking griffon.” she managed after several minutes.
“Meaning?” Derpy prompted. Rainbow took a deep breath. The other two sat, recognizing her explanation inhalation. Twilight had named it and said it meant what she said next had about a fifty-fifty chance of being true.
“Look, I roomed with Gilda while we were at Junior Speedsters. I was the only one not afraid of her to start with. She spoke Equestrian, but also a lot of griffon. She taught me a lot. Mostly the swear words. But I can't speak it well. It's meant to be spoken with a beak, and without one...” she shrugged.
“It sounds very, very silly.” Robert nodded. “I know just how bad my accent is.”
“Doubt it.” Rainbow laughed again. “You really are a slow flier.”
“Some of us have speed, some of us have endurance. Some of us have great precision.” Robert shrugged.
“You saying I don't have endurance?” Rainbow asked, poking him with a hoof.
“I'm not saying that.” Robert said. “I'm just saying your wings are meant to go fast, while mine are meant to go forever and ever.”
“So you're saying you've got more endurance than me.” Rainbow said, far too calmly.
“S'all I'm saying.” Robert nodded firmly.
“That's it!” Rainbow lunged. Derpy laughed.
---
“No Twilight, I don't wish to explain my eye.” Robert said. Twilight glared at him. “It's none of anyponies business.”
“Look if someone hit you...” Twilight started.
“Twilight. Look at me.” she did for a moment. “I'm fine. No one, lays paw on me, nor hoof.” he smiled, then winced. His eye slightly swollen. “If I don't have a problem with it, you shouldn't either.”
“That doesn't make sense.” Twilight snapped. “Why wouldn't you have a problem with it? Some one hit you!”
“Yes.” Robert leveled a stare from his good eye. “I am a tiger. We are far and away more physical with both our emotions and our disagreements. I've had far worse than this over who had watch duty at night.” he shrugged. “Besides, it was an accident.”
“I... I...” Twilight shook her head. “Who did it?”
“I did, got a problem with that?” Rainbow asked, limping slightly as she walked towards them.
“What? Why?” Twilight flickered back and forth between them. “What happened to you?” she demanded of Rainbow.
“We were wrestling.” Robert replied. “Just enjoying the day and she went to grab me, and missed. Then I slipped and fell. On top of her.”
“Tiger boy needs to go on a diet.” Rainbow grunted.
“I am all muscle.” Robert said, sticking his nose in the air.
“Awfully squishy muscle.” she replied. Robert did the mature thing, and stuck his tongue out at her. Twilight made a strangled noise. The day, or rather evening was saved by Applebloom.
“Hello Robert, Twilight. Zecora sent me to get the two of ya.” she said, after a moment.
“What for?” Twilight asked.
“It's almost moonrise, and she said she's going to need our help with the potion AJ said it's okay if I stay up since it's not a school night.” Applebloom said.
“Well, I guess it's time to get unstuck.” Robert smiled.
“Aw man, I'm gonna lose a flying buddy.” Rainbow sighed.
“Don't count on it.” Robert chuckled. “If I'm right, I should be able to fly permanently now. Any time I have wings at least.”
“Awesome.” Rainbow grinned.
“So, does that mean you'll be an Alicorn?” Applebloom asked. Robert looked skyward.
“It'd bloody well better not.” he said to no one they could see.
“Don't worry, I promise it won't.” said a strange looking pony walking past the door.
“Who's that guy?” Twilight asked.
“Author Avatar?” Rainbow asked. “He just shows up sometimes. Then he disappears. He's like a Pinkie Plus on the Weird-o-meter.”
“Oh.”
---
The three ponies, Rainbow Dash having come along since she had nothing else to do, and one tiger landed in the clearing Zecora had first botched a potion in.
“I did not botch a potion. Beyond my control were the events in motion.” she said. “But now a fix I can apply, with the mix which we will supply.”
“Great, more rhyming, Yay.” Rainbow said. “I'm going to stand over there.” She pointed off in one direction and flapped away in another. Applebloom shook her head and leaped off of Robert's back.
“So oh dear teacher, what do we need to do?” Robert asked.
“You, stand in the midst of the circle.” Zecora pointed. “Twilight, I require a Lunar focus, as described in the manual.” she pointed at a book. Twilight nodded. She was moderately familiar with them already, as a study of Zebrican magic was one of her personal projects. It was simply a matter of following directions.
“Can do.” the alicorn said and trotted to the table.
“Apple Bloom, come and attend. The magic of this night and flower we must apprehend.” The Zebra and Earth Pony worked quietly, mixing magics and alchemical ingredients. Once Twilight finished her task, Zecora set her to work carving a circle around the clearing. Clouds began to obscure the moon, and Rainbow was pressed into service to keep the sky clear. She didn't even complain.
As midnight neared, Twilight finished her careful inscriptions in the dirt around the clearing, then checked them over. The potion began to glow, and Zecora carefully crushed several petals from the Thaumus Orchidae into the cauldron. She carefully dipped out a bottle, stoppered it, then spoke.
“Twilight, pour the cauldron's contents carefully into the circle.” The cauldron was engulfed in magenta light, and lifted into the air. She poured it through a funnel into the circle. It flowed through the circle to the inner ring through the symbols. Zecora began speaking, in a tongue none of them understood. It was not, those who knew Zebrican. It wasn't Tiger, and it certainly wasn't Equestrian or even griffon. Had Spike, or even Celestia been present, they could have correctly identified it not only as Draconic, but as an ancient Dialect, so old it was known only as the Eldertongue.
The Everfree seemed to recognize it as well, and began to swell towards it, magic drawing magic and world following magic. The trees began to actually bend towards the clearing, energy beginning to flow off of them in waves. High in the sky, even Rainbow Dash began having trouble keeping the sky free of clouds. After a few minutes, Twilight took wing to help her. The circle meanwhile began to glow brighter and brighter. As midnight approached, Zecora motioned to Applebloom, who took the bottle of potion and threw it to Robert. He caught it, and waited.
“When Ah give the signal, drink the bottle, but not before.” Applebloom called over the chanting. The moon moved slowly towards midnight. As it approached, Zecora's chanting changed, but also picked up in tempo. Applebloom readied. She knew the point to give the signal, and was waiting. Twilight and Rainbow ran racetracks around the sky, veering off only to push back errant clouds. The wall was thickening, but they were holding. Zecora threw her head back and raised her voice. The entire Everfree seemed to have been roused. A careful observer could have seen dozens if not hundreds of species. As the Zebra's chanting began to crescendo, several creatures picked up the chant. The ground thrummed with energy, the air crackled with it. Some sixth sense told Zecora the time was right, and she bellowed one final word.
Applebloom threw her front hooves up in the air and waved. Robert drank the bottle. The moment he did, the potion flashed to life in the circles and flared up into the air, swirling around before pulsing once and slamming inward onto him. He screamed in pain, then an instant later a silver flash of light exploded outwards from the center of the circle. All at once the entire forest was silent, the magic fading into the background again. It took a moment of work to locate him, no longer in the center of the circle. He was, fortunately uninjured. He was also nearly a hundred yards away, leaning against one of the big trunks. Worst of all, he was giggling in a reasonably disturbing way. A first look showed that he was wingless. A second showed that he actually had only one wing.
“Did we do something wrong?” Applebloom asked Zecora. The Zebra shook her head.
“All things went right. I'm not sure what has happened this night.” she replied. Twilight walked up and waved a hoof in his face.
“Robert? You okay?” she asked, concern evident in her voice.
“Okay? Am I okay? I'm better than okay!” he shrugged himself forwards, stood up and shook. He looked her in the eyes. “I''m BACK.” He spread his wings, then folded them. And they vanished. He turned sideways.
“Your stripes!” Twilight said. Indeed, they were nearly to his shoulders now.
“Exactly.” he grinned at her. “You heard the scream?” nods all around. “As soon as the ritual opened the block, I got all these stripes at once. Unfortunately, I lost control of my sight and well, I was in the middle of a magical forest, undergoing a magical ritual of rather impressive power. That hurt my brain. Like, a lot.” he shook his head. “And then things exploded, and well.” He waved a paw behind him. “Tree.”
“You're not injured?” Twilight asked.
“Not that I can tell.” he said and shifted himself around. “Nope, everything seems to be in working order.”
“Your shiner is gone as well.” Rainbow noticed, somewhat jealously.
“'s good to be a wizard.” Robert laughed. “Best of all?” wings appeared on his back. He spread them and took to the air. “Still can't do magic up here. Not a lot anyway, but..” he swooped in, landed and turned to face them. “I can do this.” He closed his eyes. His wings stretched, and grew even larger. He opened his eyes, and took wing again. He swooped a path around the field, then landed again. “Much better.”
“Really?” Twilight asked. “Does the ten percent flight surface really generate that much of a superiority?” she asked him curiously.
“No, but the extra ten percent makes it that much easier to get and stay in the air. Having wings that aren't quite big enough is like having legs that are just a little too short.” he said. “It'd be like eating out of a high chair your entire life.” Twilight shuddered.
“Doesn't bother me.” Rainbow said, waving her wings.
“Yeah, but you've got Pegasus magic on your side, and I'm like three times your size.” Robert grinned. “Plus you're made to go fast.”
“Yeah, I'm kind of awesome like that.” Rainbow grinned. “All speed, all the time.”
“Right.” Twilight said. “So, we done here?” she looked around. “I really don't like this place at night.”
“Indeed we are. Now home we go, be it never so near.”
Chapter 36
“Eyes closed.” Sweetie shut her eyes. “Feel your horn.” her hooves came up. Gravity took over and she face planted. “Feel it with your mind.” She stood up and tried again. A soft green energy took over her horn slowly creeping up until it engulfed it. “Now relax it.” The glow faded and released it's magic into the air.
“How did I do?” she asked.
“Very good.” Robert replied. “Very good indeed. Keep practicing that and I'm sure you'll get more control.”
“Really? That's soo cool. Maybe I can get a cutie mark in meditation.” she jumped up, gave him a hug then bolted out the door, presumably to tell the other crusaders about it.
“That was very nice of you.” Rarity said. “I know Twilight has been helping them, but her method does not work for every pony.”
“I'll be honest, I'm surprised Sweetie Belle was open to meditation.” Robert said, taking a sip of his tea. It was held in his orange glow, and had not to her knowledge, been let go since he picked it up. He didn't seem aware of it either.
“She is often rambunctious, but she is always eager to focus on anything she believes will grant her a cutie mark.” Rarity smiled. “Though I must admit, I doubt she will get one I meditation.”
“Agreed.” Robert smiled. “Though I wouldn't dream of telling her, or she might do so just to spite us.”
“She would indeed.” Rarity laughed. “Now though, you simply must tell me all about your trip to Appleloosa to see the buffalo.”
“Oh yes. I'm sorry you seem to have been the last pony to hear the story.” Robert said.
“Not a problem darling, not a problem at all.” Rarity waved with a smile. “I'm just glad to get to hear it now.”
“Well then.” Robert said and began. Rarity didn't interrupt at all, waving him om when she made some noise or other. “And then I took the train back from Manehattan because a certain somepony left me behind. One who shall remain nameless.”
“That's rather funny.” Rarity smiled. “Of course, I don't think she did it on purpose.”
“Neither do I. Though I admit, I'm not entirely unhappy she did. I really don't like being teleported if I can help it.” Robert said.
“Why pray tell?” Rarity asked curiously.
“It leaves a strange taste in my mouth. Rather like raspberry crossed with raw pumpkin.” he replied. Rarity blinked.
“Ew.” she said after a moment presumably of imagining the taste. “I can see why you'd prefer to avoid it. Have you mentioned it to Twilight?”
“Not yet. I was focused on restoring my power, before any other concerns.” Robert admitted. “It's also the first time I've been teleported, so I wasn't sure that it wasn't normal.”
“Well, Twilight is one of the few unicorns who ever mastered Teleportation. It might be a side-effect of the transition to Alicorn however.” Rarity suggested. “She might not know, and in truth, she hasn't teleported any of us since the transformation.”
“Ah. I guess I'll have to make it a point to mention it to her.” Robert said. “So, any other questions?”
“Many.'” Rarity smiled. “For instance, how is the Buffalo chieftain doing?”
“Chief Thunderhooves? He seemed to be doing fine. From what I gather, working in co-operation with the Appleloosans seems to be to the benefit of both groups. Of course to hear him tell it, the help has been mostly one way.”
“Naturally.” Rarity shook her head. “What of Little Strongheart?”
“A decidedly potent little buffalo. Very much a leader. I do not know quite how leadership is decided, but I suspect she might well be a candidate in the running.” he smiled. “On the other hand, she seems unaware of the attentions of the other males of her age.”
“Ah. A heartbreaker.”
“Amongst other things, should they be too forward.” Robert chuckled.
“Ah. You said you met the tribe's shaman?”
“Ah yes, Long Brew. Quite the interesting fellow. I suspect he and Twilight would get along famously. I nearly fell asleep while he engaged in idle chatter. I suspect a lecture would put even Pinkie to sleep.”
“That must be some voice he's got.” Rarity said.
“Indeed.” Robert nodded. “But he's very knowledgable in his field. Horns or not, Buffalo lack active magic like Unicorns, so they've taken to Hermetic magic.” she cut off his attempt to explain.
“Ah, circles and seals.” Rarity said. He gave her a surprised look. “I'm not just a fashion plate you know.” she laughed. “I could have enrolled in Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns around the same time as Twilight, but I felt it wasn't my path. On the other hand, some of my earliest clients were unicorns who had, and wanted certain symbols and circles crafted into their clothing. After the first few times, I did a little research, and then a little more. I'll never be on Twilight's level of researcher, but I learned enough to understand what I was making.”
“I can see where you'd want to be careful of what you're getting into.” Robert nodded.
“Indeed.” Rarity took a breath. “One last question.”
“Go ahead.” Robert replied warily.
“When are you going to let me make something for you?” she asked. He stared at her for a long moment.
“When I need something?” he answered. “I mean, I don't really have anything I need. I'm not really a clotheshorse... sorry.”
“Quite alright. I realize that most ponies who say such things are simply worried about cost, but surely a gift wouldn't incur undo cost. Not least of all considering the lovely gift you brought me from Manehattan.” Rarity said.
“That? That was nothing. Just something I did to thank you all for letting me into your little circle.” Robert shrugged. “Besides, I don't want you to go to any trouble.”
“Oh, but Darling, it's no trouble at all.” She replied.
“I'll think about it. If I come up with something, I'll let you know.” he replied, and stood up. “Thank you again for the tea.” Rarity stood up as well.
“Thank you for the company. Are you alright?” she asked.
“I'm better than I have been in a while.” Robert said. “Why do you ask?”
“You haven't put down my teacup since I filled it.” to his credit, he didn't drop it. Rarity was glad since it was part of a set. He set it gently down on the saucer.
“I guess I missed it more than I realized.” he confessed. “Flight is magnificent, but it's small compensation for missing something so vital.”
“And now that it's back, you're afraid to lose it.” Rarity said. He nodded after a moment. “I felt the same way after Twilight restored my cutie mark. Both times.”
“I forgot about that.” Robert smiled. “I guess you know the feeling.”
“I do indeed.” she touched his shoulder with a hoof. “Twilight and my friends helped me, and they helped you.” she smiled.
“They did at that.” Robert smiled. “Thank you.”
“For what?” she asked.
“Pointing out my foolishness before I noticed it.” Robert replied, and touched her shoulder gently.
“That's what friend are for.” she replied.
---
Robert arrived at the library, just as the Crusaders left, heading off in their own path. “I'm afraid to know what those three are up to.” he muttered to himself, then crossed the square to the library. He knocked on the door.
“It's open!” Twilight called from inside. He stepped inside, and found himself ducking books. “Hello Robert. Just a little reorganization.”
“So I see. And how is your teaching going?” Robert asked. Twilight paused, and so did most of the books.
“It's going.” she replied. “The girls are...”
“Exhausting? Rambunctious?” Robert considered it. “Frustrating?”
“Yes.” Twilight replied.”What I was going to say was progressing slowly, but yes, all of those as well.”
“They're young and excited.” Robert smiled. “Besides, I remember that time. You can't wait to find out what you're meant to be, so you're trying everything you can think of.”
“I knew what I was meant to be.” Twilight said.
“Sure you did wings, sure you did.” Robert smiled. Twilight blushed.
“Who could have predicted this?” she asked, flexing her wings.
“I'm willing to bet Celestia knew. Riddle me this Princess Twilight Sparkle. What did the prophecy say about Nightmare Moon?” Robert asked, sitting down.
“On the longest night of the thousandth year the stars will aid in her escape.” Twilight said. “So?”
“What if it wasn't talking about Nightmare Moon?” Robert asked. “What if the prophecy was referring to Luna?”
“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.
“Who arranged the stars in the sky before Luna's return?”
“Celestia, naturally.” Twilight shrugged.
“So you don't believe she could simply have altered the stars to prevent them from setting her free from the moon?” Robert asked. Twilight stared at him.
“If she had, then she wouldn't have been captured, and I wouldn't have unleashed the elements and Luna would still be trapped. So?” Twilight said.
“You're a remarkably dense pony.” Robert said. Twilight glared at him. “Look, it said the stars will aid in her escape. It didn't specifically say they would aid Nightmare Moon. I think the prophecy meant that the stars, you and your five friends, represented by the stars of your cutie mark, aiding Luna in escaping from Nightmare Moon is what was meant.” Twilight stared at him for a very long moment.
“I... I never thought about it like that.” Twilight said “Do you really think that's true?”
“The other interpretation doesn't make much sense.” Robert said with a shrug. “Besides, I don't think Celestia would have sent you to Ponyville to make friends unless she suspected you were the 'stars' in the prophecy. “ he paused. “Unless I'm wrong and we're all trapped in an eternal dream by Nightmare Moon making us think we defeated her and she's watching what's happening like a cheap cable reality show.”
“Yeah... wait, what?”
“Making sure you were paying attention. Look, I don't know if Celestia knew what you were destined for before your cutie mark or if she just made an educated guess born from far too many years of experience, but it did pay off.” Robert chuckled. “Don't worry, give it a century or two and you'll be rolling dice with pony's lives too.” She threw a book at him, then gasped in terror and wrapped the book in a protective field.
“I could never do that.” Twilight snapped.
“Sure you could, you're more than smart enough to make the right kind of educated guesses. You just don't want to. Which I guess is a good thing. I don't think Celestia wants to either.” Robert shrugged.
“No, I mean live that long.” Twilight said. “ I could do the other stuff if I had too, but I don't want to outlive my friends like that.”
“Ah. So, I presume this means you're not immortal?” Robert asked. Twilight shook her head.
“That's one of the first things I asked Prin... Celestia about. She said that she's not even immortal technically. She'll live as long as our sun does, which is still an incredibly long time.” she paused, and looked up, lips moving as she did a quick calculation. “Technically Luna's immortal being linked to the moon which is a powerful gravitic force that only needs the big hunk of rock in the sky to exist, but when the sun blows up and dies, it'll erase the moon. Luna'd have to take the moon and flee to survive, but she wouldn't abandon her ponies or Celestia.” she looked at him. “Me, unless I choose something to connect with on a level I don't want to explain because it would take forever, I'll simply live much longer, combining the absurd hardiness of the Earth Pony, with the incredible longevity of the Unicorn, and the lightweight, low stress skeleton of the Pegasus.”
“So you'll grow to be very old, and then keel over.” Robert said. Twilight glared at him.
“Yes, if you want to simplify it that much.” she said after a moment. “What about you?”
“I have the same hope any Tiger does. Succumbing to wounds taken on the honorable field of battle and being carried from a top a mountainous pile of defeated foes by my army of great grandchildren.” there was not a trace of humor anywhere in his face.
“Wow. That's... something.” she said.
“I expect to die peaceably in my bed, perhaps having just finished slapping some sense into some nephew who's taken over the tribe before telling my successor exactly when he's allowed to do that kind of thing. And that doing it in the middle of an important meeting like me is not it.” he smiled at the terror filled look she gave him. “And that panicking purple pony princesses is just a side benefit.”
“That's awful.” she laughed.
“Yes, it is. It's also true.” Robert smiled back. “Afterlife? Or rebirth?”
“Afterlife. I hope. I'd rather not get to the end and then find out I've got to do it all over again, thank you very much.” Twilight shook her head. “What about you?”
A knocking at the door interrupted them. “Twi? You in there?” Applejack called.
“Some other time.” Twilight said to Robert. “Come on in Applejack.”
“Heya Twi...” she noticed Twilight's visitor. “Hello Robert.”
“Hello Applejack.” he responded. Applejack nodded, and turned back to Twilight.
“I was wonderin', have you seen Applebloom?” she asked.
“She and the girls just left maybe ten minutes ago, why?” Twilight asked, head tilted.
“She said she was heading straight home after you got done, but I didn't see her leave town and Mac said she hadn't gotten back yet. They weren't in the clubhouse either.” Applejack said. She sounded worried.
“Hmm... I wonder where they could have gotten to.” Twilight said. “Normally we just follow the smoke.” there was silence, even though that was the official proceedure.
“Why don't we split up?” Robert suggested. “I'll go north and check for them and ask anypony who sees them to pass the word back here.”
“Sounds like a plan. If you find Rainbow Dash, put her on the case. She can cover the town a lot faster than we can.” Twilight said.
“Got it.” Robert nodded. He stood and trotted out the door. Applejack turned to follow.
“Applejack.” Twilight's voice stopped her. “Are the Crusaders missing? Or can you just not find them?” Twilight asked. Applejack held her reply for a moment.
“Ah can't find them. The trouble is, Ah'm worried. Ah don't know why, but this time Ah am.” Applejack replied. “Ah don't know if they're in trouble or getting ready to make some, but Ah'd rather find them before either one happens.”
Applejack turned out to have been worried for nothing, when her first circuit turned up the girls on the way home. They explained they'd been stopped by Diamond Tiara, and Silver Spoon, though not why. Applejack still had an uneasy feeling, but let it go. The girls trotted home, breaking up as they went.
“Applebloom, you sure you're okay?” she asked again.
“Ah'm fine.” Applebloom said. “Ah really am.”
“Alright, Ah just worry about ya, that's all.” Applejack shook her head. “We gotta watch out for one another.”
“Ah know that.” Applebloom said. She looked at Applejack and stared into her eyes. “Is somethin' wrong?”
“No. Ah... Ah jes' got a bad feelin'. You know, one o' them ones you get when somethin' is gonna go wrong and you can't stop it. Worry'n 'bout the future. I don't want to have to rely on you to be the next generation of Apple farmer if you don't want ta, but at the same time, I don't see foals in my future jes' yet.”
“Oh.” Applebloom sighed, and glanced at her flank. “Hey, I don't have my cutie mark yet, so I might be some kind of farm hand yet.”
“That's true. You could be the pony to make some new super apple.” Applejack laughed. “Did I ever tell you the secret to growin' new Apple Trees?”
“No.” Applebloom said. Applejack smiled.
“Well, first you have to find just the right spot in the ground...”
---
“Nice of her to tell us.” Robert snorted. Twilight chuckled.
“She was really worried about them. I think it was about something else though.” she said, shaking her head. “I just don't know what.”
“Time most likely.” Robert said. “Her parents are gone, and Granny Smith, vital as she is, is very, very old. Even by earth pony standards. She's gotta be thinking on ahead, to the next generation. I don't know how much of a romantic Big Mac is, but Applejack is a pragmatist.”
“Meaning?” Twilight asked, staring at the tiger.
“Meaning, she might be going on the prowl for a special somepony. Which is good, because everypony needs somepony.” he smiled.
“Don't start quoting that song. I'll get it in my head and it'll be there for weeks.” Twilight ordered.
“Yes my princess.” she coughed, and he laughed. “Of course, that's going to mean two things. One, she's going to be looking for something pretty specific. Someone capable of running the farm on their own, while she's indisposed.” Twilight stared at him for a moment, before realization settled in and she nodded. “The other thing is, word is going to get out that one of the former bearers of the elements of harmony is looking for a special somepony. And you're going to have lunatics coming out of the woodwork to try and 'win some credit' by being the one she picks.”
“That sounds pretty bad.” Twilight said.
“On the contrary, in Applejack's case, it will be hilarious.” Robert laughed.
“How so?” Twilight asked.
“Think about it. All those soft, pampered rich brats and single up and coming nobles, all coming here, and trying to keep up with Applejack? She's going to run them ragged. You're going to need ponies to come down and scoop them up with a shovel to put them on a train home.” Robert laughed.
“That's horrible. I'm sure she wouldn't do that.” Twilight said.
“Twilight, you're the one that told me the story of very nearly killing herself harvesting half the farm.” Robert looked her in the eyes. “It doesn't matter that the effort was too much for her to sustain, the point is she DID do it. The fact that she's learned restraint to keep from doing it again, doesn't mean she's any less capable of doing so. At this point she's probably got good enough to do half the farm without help without exhausting herself. She'll run anyone who can't keep up into the ground.”
“I guess you're right.” Twilight admitted. “And then there's Big Mac and Granny Smith to contend with.”
“Big Mac... he's not going to let anything stand in the path of Applejack's happiness, but I've seen him bend steel without a forge. He moved a house. Anyone who might try and take advantage of Applejack is going to find one big red angry reason to keep those thoughts to himself.” he smiled. “As for Granny Smith, hoo-boy. She might be what they had in mind when they defined Elder, but she'd probably lay out Applejack if she felt the urge or reason to do so. Anypony that tries to circumvent the process by sweet talking her is going to have one heck of a shock.”
“You really think that's what Applejack is upto?” Twilight asked.
“It's just a guess.” Robert shrugged. “On the other hand, if she does, it could be a handy Barometer of what happens when the rest of you go looking.”
“Oh. Oh no.” Twilight. “That could be really bad.”
“Or good, since you're no longer completely in the dark depending on how you stay out of the lime light.” Twilight blinked. “I mean watch and see how romance goes for her, and learn from her example.”
“Oh.” she paused. “That's not very scientific.”
“True, but these aren't exactly laboratory conditions. And unless you'd like to say, date Rainbow Dash and be the control group, this is about as good as you're going to get.” Robert shook his head.
“What? Why would I have to date Rainbow Dash?” Twilight demanded, just a little too vehemently.
“That's the best analogue we have to some high profile stallion or mare trying to get a leg up by dating an element.” he said, waving a paw. “I mean, the best flier in Equestria, being pursued by a princess? Obviously you're only trying to use her status to boost your...” Twilight didn't bother with a pillow. She hit him with an entire mattress. “Wow, you're kind of easy.”
“Don't say such silly things.” she said with a shake of her head.
“I wouldn't call it silly. I mean, come on, toned athlete, magnificent flier. I mean, I'm not one for ponies, but I could get behind that. Several times a night even.” Twilight hit him with the mattress again.
---
It was impossible to get close to the library. It was completely full of colts and fillies and they were not at all interested in moving. Robert sighed, and left. He could have avoided them or gone through them, but the former option would have required landing on the balcony, thus proving it was an option for any of them with wings. The latter had the potential to see them hurt, and he didn't want that.
Derpy was just settling down to a post route muffin when he arrived in Sugarcube Corner. She waved him over tiredly.
“Long day?” he asked. She considered it for a minute.
“Not really. Just a bit tiring.” she took a bite. “Lot of heavy mail today for some reason.”
“Probably games invitations.” Robert said. She considered it, then nodded. “You going?”
“Yep. I'm an alternate for Ponyville.” she smiled proudly.
“Good for you.” Robert said. “If any pony deserves it, it's you.”
“Thank you.” she said with a blush. “You coming?”
“I'm considering it. Of course, I might startle the ponies not used to my gloriousness.” he turned his head regally.
“You could always disguise yourself.” Derpy pointed out.
“I guess so. I'll have to think about it.” he sighed. “So, what's new?”
“Nothing much, just psyching myself up for the trip home.” Derpy said.
“Something wrong?” he asked.
“No, it's just the kids can be a little bit much to take when I'm tired like this.” she smiled. “I love them, but they're a serious hoofful sometimes.” she sighed.
“How about I come over? I've heard all about them, and have yet to meet them. And they can be all full of energy and questions for me, and you can rest?” He offered.
“You'd do that?” she asked. “I'd be ever so grateful.”
“Not a problem. Let's stop and get something for dinner so you don't have to cook.”
“Oh... I really can't afford....” Derpy said.
“My treat.” Robert smiled. She opened her mouth to object, but he reached out and tapped her nose. “I'm not taking no for an answer. Besides, I have no interest in a sit down dinner. Let's find something gratuitously unhealthy. And not muffins.” he cut off her line of thought.
“You're no fun.” she said with a smile. “I know a pizza place.”
---
“Muffin, I'm home!” Derpy called. Something small and grey and overly excited ricocheted around the corner, and attached itself firmly to Derpy's leg. Fortunately, Robert was carrying the pizza because she nearly went over backwards.
“Mommy!” said the gray filly.
“Dinky, this is Robert.” she waved with her wing, as he came around the corner. Dinky released her mother's leg and then attached herself to Robert's instead.
“Robert!” he laughed.
“Nice to meet you.” he said, lifting his leg to look her in the eyes. “So, you're the little muffin I've heard about?”
“Yup, that's me!” She grinned at him. “Mommy told me about you.”
“Just like she told me about you.” Robert said. “Tell you what, make you a deal.” She tilted her head. “You let go of my leg and I'll give you some pizza.”
“PIZZA!” Dinky was nearly to the pizza boxes before Derpy got hold of her. “PIZZA!”
“Better dish it up quick. No one can resist her for long.” Said a much larger, pale magenta unicorn.
“Dinky, or your mother?” Robert asked.
“Either one.” the unicorn smiled. “Sparkler.” she offered a hoof. Robert shook it.
“Heard about you as well.” Robert said, following her through the doors into the kitchen. Derpy had managed to pin Dinky to the floor, and was blowing raspberries to keep her occupied. Dinky was intermittently giggling and calling for Pizza.
“Believe everything.” Sparkler said with a half-smile.
“I believe nothing.” Robert said. “I will form my own opinions on the matter. Plates?”
“Here.” She stretched up on her hooves. “You staying for dinner?”
“Yes.” she pulled down four plates. “Why by hoof?”
“My telekinesis isn't the best.” she replied. “I practice, but it doesn't get much better.”
“Would you like some assistance with it?” Robert offered. “I'm no Twilight, but I'm not bad with magic.”
“You're a tiger.” Sparkler pointed out, to the amazement of no one.
“Noticed that did ya?” Robert smiled. She laughed after a moment. “Yeah, I'm a Tiger, but I can wizard with the best of them.” he considered. “Well, maybe not but you get the idea.” he let his eyes glow and settled the pizza's on the counter. He opened two of them, and light flared along the lines where the slices had been cut. Several slices floated out of each box and settled on three of the plates. Sparkler blinked.
“Wow.” she said after a minute. “How do you keep those all in the air?”
“I simply don't think of them as individual objects.” A questing gray hoof appeared over the edge of the counter. “If you're having trouble with multiple objects, you simply have to work with them as one big flexible object.” while he spoke, he floated the pepper grinder of the edge of the counter, and gave it a twist. The hoof disappeared, then so did the unicorn, the sneeze propelling her out of the room. Sparkler laughed hard. “Try it yourself.”
“I don't know...”
“I'll grab them if you mess up.” he said confidently. She glanced at the plates, and flared her horn. One plate rose, then settled down. She concentrated and two of them rose. She set them down, sweat beading on her forehead. “Stop. Take a deep breath.” she did. “Now, grab them all as one big object.” she nodded, and her horn flared. The plates rose into the air, and she slowly spun around, keeping them in the air as she walked out the door. There were gasps from the other side off the divider and then hearty congratulations as soon as he heard the plates clink gently on the table. “Gotta thank Rarity.” he smiled to himself and set about his pizza.
“So, Robert...” Sparkler said when he'd sat down on the couch. “What brought you to Ponyville?” she added a moment later. “And don't say your feet.” he laughed.
“A quest for knowledge!” He waved a paw in the air. “Actually, I was sent to learn from Zecora, and anyone else I happened to run across in my travels. So far, that's turned out to be just about everypony I've run across.” he laughed. “Especially your mother.” Derpy blushed.
“I didn't teach you anything.” she said, rustling her wings.
“Sure you did. You taught me how to work that curiously obscure job board, and how to avoid ending up Rainbow's... crash test dummy.” Robert chuckled.
“Oh, that was nothing. Any friend would have done the same. Except maybe Rainbow Dash.” she smiled at him. Dinky glanced between them confused. Sparkler laughed.
“Exactly. Learning about friendship worked for Princess Twilight, I don't see why it wouldn't work for me.” he glanced at the stripes running down his side.
“What's with the stripes?” Dinky asked.
“They're like my cutie mark.” Robert replied. “Though I found my destiny and now they're filling in.”
“That seems silly.” Dinky said. “Shouldn't they all appear at once?”
“I guess they're not just like a cutie mark then.” Robert agreed. Derpy knew the full story and he figured she'd explain to Sparkler later. He figured Dinky was a little young and that Derpy would explain when she was older, if it became something she needed to know, or asked about.
“So, you can do magic.” Sparkler said. “Why?”
“Ah, well, that's a good question, because it's related to my stripes. See I didn't find out my destiny. My teacher discovered it in me. While most tigers have a little bit of magic. Like Pegasi being able to fly, it's just part of our nature. Me, I can use magic like unicorns.”
“So, how did your teacher know?” Dinky asked. “Can your teacher do magic too?”
“Yes, he can. He's a shaman of my tribe, so he recognized I have the potential to be one.”
“What's a Shaman?” Sparkler asked.
“Like Zecora. I'll be the wise person that the tribe comes to for information, and for spells. Like ponies come to Twilight for knowledge and magical spells. Though not so much of the latter. I guess because it's easier to find a unicorn who can do magic than it is a tiger.” Robert shrugged. “No problem though. I've been learning a lot from Twilight as well as Zecora.”
“That's good.” Derpy said. “So, any tales of Daring Do?” she asked.
“No, I love those books though. I do know the tale of the three little Griffons.” the pair of siblings shared a look.
“Never heard of that one.” Dinky said. Sparkler shook her head.
“Well then, let's see...” he closed his eyes for a moment. The room seemed to shimmer as his magic laid out the scene.
Three little griffons, Gyre, Gimlet and Greg went one day for a romp in the woods. Gyre was the oldest with deep blue feathers, and fine dark blue fur. Gimlet was next with bright red feathers and deep red fur. Greg was the youngest, and had lovely white feathers and soft gray fur. The three leaped from tree to tree, gliding, singing and rough housing as griffons are wont to do. The time passed as they played, until the skies began to darken. But it was not yet night. No, a great storm crept up on them and engulfed the woods in which they played. Great and terrible winds whipped through the trees, knocking them to the ground.
Gyre, Gimlet, and Greg huddled together, unsure of what to do. They took shelter near the base of a tree, hoping to ride out the storm in it's shelter. It worked for a while, but a great bolt of lightning ripped down from the sky, KRAKTHUUM, and smashed apart the tree. The three little griffons each pushed the others out of the way. When the noise of the tree falling died away, they found they were separated. Gyre called for his brothers, but they could not hear him over the noise of the storm. Gimlet thought for certain they were injured and would need him to find help. So he started for the direction he thought the village was in. Greg on the other hand, knew what to do, and while he called for his brothers, he also stayed where he was.
High in the skies above, fighting the storm with all their might, griffons fought and pushed to break the storm clouds, and free the day from it's terrible rage. As they fought, they began to hear cry's and calls from below. Some were ordered to go and look. They followed the sound, some chasing Gyre's calls and oft just missing him as he searched. Others followed Gimlet, in his race away from the others, as he screamed for help. Yet the first they found was Greg, who while he called, had stayed in one place and been found the fastest. Gyre led a merry chase, which ended only when he tripped and fell into deep mud.
Yet, when all was over and the storm broke, they found that they were not far from one another, though exhausted were the rescuers. Home they trod, all safe, and all sound. Yet a lesson had they learned. Stay still, stay safe.
The magic broke and he found that he'd enraptured his audience. It was not his best retelling, and Trixie, who'd taught him the story would have chided him on it. She would, however, have grudgingly acknowledged that his illusion had been acceptably average. Which from Trixie meant it was pretty fantastic.
His audience, realizing the story was ended, thundered applause, even Derpy managing a respectable showing against the table at the end of the couch.
“Great story!” Dinky laughed. “I liked it a lot.”
“She's right, it was a good story.” Sparkler agreed.
“Yeah, it was good. Now of course, it's time for bed.” Derpy said.
“Awww!” Dinky managed to be an entire chorus by herself.
“Don't worry Dinks. I remember the story so I can tell it again.” Sparkler promised. She led Dinky off to bed after another bone crushing hug.
“Thank you.” Derpy said, after they'd gone to bed. Technically only Dinky had, Sparkler being older could stay up later, but she'd explained she had homework. “I love them both to death, but...”
“Energy is something that you don't have a lot of to spare at the end of the day.” Robert suggested. She nodded, one eye remaining unmoving. “No worries. I'm usually pretty good with kids. Unless you know, they're horrible.” he smiled. She laughed.
“How do you have the energy?” she asked. “I mean, Pinkie consumes her body weight in sugar somehow and turns it into raw energy.”
“I take very long naps.” Robert shrugged. “They don't call it 'cat-napping' for nothing.”
“Oh, like Rainbow Dash.” Derpy nodded in understanding.
“Precisely. Though, she's a bit of an amateur, just by nature of being a pony.” he chuckled. “Not that she's not getting better.”
“Don't worry, I'm sure she'll master it eventually.” Derpy grinned. “She certainly practices often enough.”
“She does indeed.” Robert laughed.
“Robert...” she paused. “Do you think you're up for some more... adult fun?”
“Depends on your definition of adult fun.” she grinned worryingly.
Chapter 37
“Well, this isn't what I was expecting.” Robert said, looking up from his cards. Derpy winked at him. Cloud Kicker bumped up against him.
“Your bet.” she said. He glared at her for a moment.
“I'll see it.” he said, and pushed several chips forward.
“Raise five.” Dash pushed a hoofful of chips into the center. Roseluck said something unkind.
“Fold.” she added.
“Call.” Derpy said.
“Pair of aces.” Rainbow put her cards down.
“Straight.” Cloudy dropped her cards.
“Two pair.” Robert shrugged. “Four Kings.” Rainbow grumped.
“Ugh.” Derpy shook her head. “You guys are no fun.” she dropped her cards.
“Beginner's luck.” Rainbow said. “There's no way he can keep it going.”
“He's already won most of the weeks earnings off of me.” Cloud Kicker snorted. “If he keeps it up, I'll have to start betting favors.”
“You tried.” Roseluck pointed out.
“And no one wanted any.” Derpy shook her head. “Mostly because they're already pretty free.”
“Yeah, so?” Cloud Kicker grinned.
“I'll have to remember to introduce you to my fiancee. I think she's going to like you.” Robert laughed.
“Sounds interesting.” Cloud Kicker smiled. “I can't wait.”
“Then let's try and win back some bits so you can eat until then.” Dash grinned.
“Oh, I never have trouble finding something to eat.” Cloud Kicker said, smiling. Roseluck threw a cushion at her. She continued grinning.
“Perhaps we should go find Rarity.” Robert suggested. Silence and stares met him. “Then we could get some clothes and make this strip poker.”
“I like the way he thinks.” Cloud Kicker laughed. She was buried in cushions.
“Alright, new deal.” Derpy shook her head, one eye remaining completely unaffected. “Fours wild.”
“Why fours?” Rainbow asked. Derpy shrugged.
“No particular reason.” she dealt. And succeeded in winning the hand and the entire pot. The others called it a night then. They had a gentlemare's agreement to quit while Derpy was ahead and play until that was the case. They filed out the door, saying good nights and trotting, or taking wing home.
“That was more fun than I've had in a while.” Robert admitted. “Thanks.”
“No problem.” Derpy smiled. “You heading home?”
“Yeah. Got a long day ahead of me tomorrow.” Robert smiled. “Goodnight.”
“Hey, don't forget your winnings.” Derpy said, noticing his pile on the table.
“Keep 'em.” he shrugged. “You can put them to better use than I can.”
“I can't take all that.” Derpy complained.
“Sure you can.” Robert chuckled. “Just put them with yours, and bang.”
“You've been hanging around Cloud Kicker too much.” Derpy shook her head. “Besides, that's not what I meant. You won it fair and square.”
“Okay, fine.” Robert turned and walked back to the table. He shuffled the cards and slapped the deck down. “High card takes the lot.”
“Fine.” Derpy walked over, and drew a card. She turned over the Ace of Clubs. “See you win.”
“Wrong.” Robert turned over a joker. “You win.”
“You cheated.” she accused.
“I am offended. I have never cheated at chess in my life.”
“We were playing cards.”
“Oh, well, that's a whole other thing. Yeah, I'm a card shark. Never try and beat a cheater.” Robert smirked.
“Well if you cheated, then I don't have to take it. I can forfeit.” she replied.
“No, sorry. Cheating means I forfeit so you have to take it.” he said and shoved the bits together.
“That's not fair.” she complained half-heartedly.
“All's fair in love and war, but I'm cheating and I don't have to be fair.” Robert laughed, then threw a leg over her shoulders. “I only have to take care of me. You've got two pretty good kids in there, and we can't have them not having things, now can we.”
“No, I guess not.” she sighed. “I still feel bad about taking it though.”
“Bake me some muffins and we'll call it even.” Robert said, squeezed her once, and then left.
“Mmm... muffins.”
---
Robert shifted, and fell out of bed. Beds. Pony sized beds were not exactly big enough individually. So he had three of them pushed together in the tree house he'd bought. Technically, he preferred to sleep in the branches, but he'd been too tired to find his comfortable spot. So instead he was laid across three beds. His head was not actually on the beds. It was laid on the end table, on a pillow. It did leave a slight crick in his neck, but it was better than the one he'd had when he'd slept without it.
He pushed himself upright. And hit his head on the other table in the room. Living in a pony size house was not nearly as much fun as he'd always imagined. On the upside, at least the company was pleasant. Waiting for the throbbing in his head to subside, he realized he was homesick. It wasn't anything in particular, just little things. Nothing was to the right scale, nothing was the same as he expected. He could survive, thrive, but it was an adaptation. He wanted nothing more than to go home now. And yet... something told him he still wasn't done here. Not least of all because he promised to take Fluttershy's friends into the forest. Some little voice in the back of his head told him to wait. So he waited. Homesickness would pass.
He stood up, carefully, and stretched out. Then he stepped out onto the balcony, and leaped into the air. Wings flashed into existence and he stroked upwards through the canopy. Breaking out into the open air, he stopped, hovering in place for a few minutes, greeting the rising sun. Light touched him as the sun rose over the mountains. Sunrise was something he found he looked forward to. It always seemed to herald a new adventure, or some new fascinating revelation. Or screaming, on rare occasions. Fortunately, the latter was less likely than the former, but it still happened from time to time. Hovering in the air as the sunlight washed over him was calming. It did have one side effect. Magic that was not sustained when dawn touched it was washed away. He reformed his wings and caught himself just before reaching the top of the canopy. Sighing, he caught air and began to wing his way towards town.
The flight isn't that long, and he's soon enough flaring his wings to land just outside the library. Spike opens the door as he arrives, in what seems to be a moment of clairvoyance, but is really just him sweeping out dust. Robert sneezes.
“Oh, hey. Didn't see you there.” Spike apologizes. “Bless you.”
“Thanks. Got plans today?”
“Yeah, lots of chores. You?”
“Twilight and I have a research project scheduled, if she's not still asleep.” Robert chuckles.
“I rarely sleep in late any more.” Twilight sighs. “What were we researching?”
“Twilight? Are you alright, it's not like you to forget a research project.” concern tinges Spike's voice.
“No. I'm just a little stressed out. A bunch of other students have been bugging me for tutoring like the Crusaders have been getting. It's a little draining.” Twilight shrugged. “So what were we researching?”
“Applications of Combat Magic.” Robert replied.
“Umm... isn't combat magic forbidden outside of sanctioned duels and times of war?” Spike asked.
“It's also allowed for research projects, and I have permission from Princess Celestia.” Twilight said, showing him a form.
“Okay, try not to destroy Equestria.” Spike shrugged, and went back to his sweeping.
“I don't think...” Twilight said, then gave up.
“Oh come on, let's go blow something up.” Robert laughed. Twilight leveled a look at him, then sighed.
“Fine, follow me.” She trotted out, spread her wings, and threw herself into the air. Robert leaped after her. She flew over the town, admiring it from above. It wasn't the sleepy little hamlet it appeared to be, but that was something that could only be appreciated from the ground. From above, it appeared to be picture perfect. She wondered if anypony had ever painted the city from a cloud. She made a mental note to find out. A few minutes later, they landed north of the city, in an old rock quarry. Specialty stone came from rock farmers, but most building stone had been harvested from the ground. Several of the quarries in the area had undergone a reclamation process, where rock farmers came and laid down stone seeds which would slowly heal the wounds in the earth. Twilight had gotten them to leave this one alone, so she would have a place to practice dangerous magics like this. They hadn't been too happy, until she'd pointed out that it was better to practice in an old hole, than make a new one. So they'd left this quarry alone. It wasn't as though the ground wasn't patient enough to wait.
“Ooh, rocks. I love breaking rocks.” Robert laughed as she led him down to the floor of the quarry. She alighted on a large smooth rock. She'd landed there before. Robert dropped with a crunch into the gravel beside it.
“Doesn't that hurt?” she asked him.
“A little.” he shrugged. “Pain reminds us we're alive. Besides, I'm too excited to care.”
“Why would you be excited by destruction?” Twilight asked.
“Destruction occurs everywhere, constantly. It's from destruction that new creation is made.” he shrugged.
“What?” she shook her head. “That doesn't make sense.”
“Sure it does. How do you create a spell?” Robert asked.
“Draw in energy and form it into the desired construct.” she replied. “So?”
“Where does the energy come from?”
“Out in the wild.” she waved a hoof.
“Out in it's natural patterns of flow, which you destroy to create your spell.” he smiled.
“I never thought of it that way. But doesn't it go back?”
“When the construct collapses and is destroyed.” Robert nodded. “The same way we heal, by cells and enzymes consuming and destroying old ones, and forming new ones.”
“Oh.” she looked sheepish. “I guess breakdown is a synonym of destruction. Makes some sense. So destruction is about creation?”
“I've always thought it so. Look at this place. The stone here was broken and destroyed from it's natural state to build houses, and other buildings.” he considered it. “Of course, not all destruction is beneficial.”
“True. A burnt down house, or knocked down dam is certainly not.” Twilight nodded. “Which is of course why combat magic is mostly banned.”
“Exactly. Though... it's only banned in Equestria.” he coughed. “There are occasionally things which cannot be fought without unleashing elemental forces upon them. Of course, we have found that we haven't sufficient quantity of magic users for it to become an issue. I can understand the decision here.”
“Yes, the Unicorn Wars are something no one wishes repeated.” Twilight shuddered.
“Unicorn Wars?” Robert asked, eyes glowing as he arranged boulders.
“Yes. Some time ago, most scholars are unsure the exact time, but well before Hearth's Warming, and even in fact before the establishment of unicorn Nobility, we were a tribal society not unlike the Tigers. Three great tribes, Earth Pony, Unicorn and Pegasus, but within them, we were divided further. I'm not sure how earth ponies organized, because something always disrupts my research. I suspect it's along familial lines. Pegasi organized along clan lines, and it worked pretty well for them. Unicorns did, but were in sub tribes as well. For a long time they stayed close together, and worked with one another. Then one group decided to try and take control.
Others fought against him. The battle raged for months, scarring the land. Some evidence exists that it's the origin of ghastly gorge. Eventually however, he was battled to a stand still some distance to the north, near what's now the Crystal Empire. There his forces were surrounded and defeated.” Twilight shook her head. “As I said, very few records survived from that era, between the depredations of the windigoes, and the weather. Yet... every single legend, from here to Saddle Arabia, and I have done the research, agree that he was defeated by one pony. A unicorn called Sonorous Voice. He became the first Crystal Emperor.”
“Sonorous Voice?” Robert asked. “I know that name.” His brow furrowed in thought. “He forged the Pax Crystalis.”
“That's the one.” Twilight nodded. “First between the three tribes of ponies, then every race he could find intelligent enough to understand the terms. Dragons, Diamond Dogs, Minotaurs and griffons.”
“Tigers, the Great Lions and the Monkey's.” Robert nodded.
“No pony knows what ended it. Not Celestia, nor even Discord. I asked. He just shuddered and shook his head.” Twilight shivered. Robert agreed. Anything that could evoke such a reaction from the God of Chaos was terror inspiring indeed.
“No Tiger knows either. Yet one must wonder. Deer are named in the pact, yet there are none to be found.” Robert looked distant for a moment.
“That is a truly horrifying thought.” Twilight said. “You know what? Let's blow some stuff up.”
“I thought you'd never ask.”
---
“Alright, try this one.” Twilight's horn glowed brilliantly, and magic flowed up around her head, then flicked forward. Bright white light crashed into the rock, splitting it into two even pieces.
“Moonwood's Lunar Blade.” Robert said, smiling. “And you said you knew something I didn't.”
“Yeah, it's Moonfire.” Twilight corrected, panting slightly from her exertion.
“I was told Moonwood.” he shrugged. “My turn?”
“Be my guest.” she waved a hoof.
“I will.” he laughed, and then turned his attention to the rocks. Magic formed, not over his head, but over his target. A beam of fire lanced down seemingly out of nowhere to the uninformed and punched a four inch wide hole into the middle of the rock. Twilight jerked up.
“That's not ri-ight!” she complained.
“What?”
“That's Celestia's Solar Lance. I've been trying to cast that for years.” she sighed, and put her head in her hooves.
“What time of day?” he asked.
“What?”
“Morning, noon, evening?” Robert asked.
“At night when I have time to concentrate.” Twilight answered.
“There's your problem. It only works during the day.” Robert chuckled. “That's the problem with doing all your research at night.”
“It's not written down anywhere. I have three different editions of the book it's listed in and it's not mentioned, ONLY WORKS IN DAYLIGHT anywhere.” Twilight's sides heaved without outrage.
“Yeah, and you're not the only one who might have read the book. Would you leave a secret to a powerful weapon lying out for anyone to find?” he grabbed the rock with his magic and stood it up so she could see. “Especially one that can do this?”
“No, you're right.”
“Did you ask her about it?” Twilight blushed.
“I didn't want her to think I couldn't do it.” she mumbled.
“Then make her proud and show that rock you mean business.”
“Yeah, YEAH!”
“YEEAAHHH!” the white Pegasus flew by for no particular reason. Twilight's horn flared to life.
---
The pair stood on the edge of the thirty foot hole. A stone kicked over the side had taken a full ten seconds to send it's echo back up.
“Well.” Robert said. “I think you got it.”
“No kidding.” Twilight said, eye twitching.
“Come on, this can't be the first time you've over done a spell.” Robert said, elbowing her gently.
“No, it's not. I just thought I'd gotten over that a long time ago.” Twilight shook her head.
“You've grown a lot in power since then I bet.” Robert grinned. “I've had the same problem.”
“You've gotten stronger, but not that much.” Twilight said.
“It's not power that's the problem. It's control. I got stronger, yeah, but the control that I had wasn't enough to deal with the new strength. I had to go back to the basics. Breathing, telekinesis. Even the flame and the void.” he smiled serenely. “But it works.”
“The Flame and the Void?” she asked. “Never heard of it.”
“It's also called the Oneness.” he answered.
“Oh. That works? I thought it was a hoax, like those self-help books.” Twilight said.
“Don't knock the books. But it's similar. As in, it doesn't work for everyone. It's not much different than counting backwards from ten, or that kind of thing. I like that I can do it quickly, with one sharp breath.” he shrugged. “Besides, it's a lot easier to do while you're stressed.”
“Doesn't that defeat the purpose?” Twilight said.
“Possibly. Like I said, doesn't work for everyone.” he looked down the hole. “We should probably do something about this. Don't want any pony falling in. Particularly the Crusaders.”
“That's the last thing we need.” Twilight nodded. “Know Iron Hoof's Earthmover?”
“No.” Robert shook his head. “Care to show me?”
“Sure.” she formed a magical construct. He copied it. “That's it.”
It didn't take them long to fill the hole with left over rubble. By the time it was done though, the pair was nearing exhaustion. Twilight suggested a break for lunch. She'd brought food, though Robert wasn't too interested in it.
“Everything alright?” Twilight asked, concerned.
“Hmm? Oh, yes. I'm... fine. Just a little homesick. It's hard being away from family.” he sighed, placing his head on his paws.
“Tell me about your homeland. Maybe that'll help.” Twilight asked, taking a bit of her molasses and daisy sandwich.
“My tribe, the...” he searched for the translation. “It translates to Fat Tigers, but it means large. We're the biggest in size. We live on a plateau, some three or four hundred hooves above the plains. It's defensible. There's only one way up and down, except for me. It's a winding switch back that's easy to defend just by rolling boulders down. And that made me terrified of heights.” he shuddered.
“The rest of the tribes make their homes on similar things, but we really live on the plains. We still hunt, even if it is no longer for meat. Now we hunt for bragging rights. Who can touch prey without harming it wins the right to brag until another duplicates the feat. Some have it for days, others for minutes. But it's the thrill of the hunt that drives us.” Robert smiled. “And of course, we do make war.”
“Really?” Twilight asked, surprised.
“It is a part of our nature, one which we cannot deny. Tigers are territorial by nature, communal by choice. We fight and squabble amongst ourselves, because not doing so is unthinkable.”
“Who do you make war against?” Twilight asked.
“Mosty each other. Tribe against Tribe most of the time. Calling it war isn't quite accurate. Mostly it's that because it's all the tigers of two tribes coming together to fight. Usually instead of the big, confusing melee of battle, it'sa series of duels between tigers of opposing tribles, who've had a disagreement they couldn't settle any other way. We try hard not to let those things build up, or they turn into blood fueds, and those get really messy fast. We're still recovering from the last one.” Robert shook his head. “The proving grounds were built for it. After the last fued, someone had the idea, and we all got together and built a dozen arenas for single combat.”
“Isn't that a little blood thirsty?” Twilight asked.
“Perhaps, but we are carnivores.” Robert shrugged. “Most fights are only to first blood, unless the reason behind them is truly potent. Better to have only a minor wound to attend, than a funeral, is the saying.”
“I guess that makes sense.” Twilight said. “Doesn't really flow off the tongue though. I'll bet we could...” Robert put his paw over her mouth.
“Please don't analyze the colloquialism.” Robert asked, lowering his paw.
“If you insist.” she shrugged. “Ugh. I'd better get going.” Twilight said, glancing at the sun. “It's almost time for the Girls to get out of School.”
“I am very glad that it's Twilight Time and not Robert Time. I suspect I would have to apologize for having eaten one of them by now.” Robert shook his head.
“They're... not usually too bad.” Twilight said, with just the right amount of hesitation.
“Sure they're not.” Robert laughed. “And the sun rises and sets on it's own.” he stood up and stretched. “Don't be late, Professor Twilight. You have a library to save.” he chuckled, and started up the slope of the side of the quarry. Twilight opened her mouth to ask why he wasn't flying, then decided it wasn't worth it. Instead, she trotted a few steps and leaped into the air, and winged back toward town.
Chapter 38
“Firestars Backdraft.” Robert chuckled. “Not many are willing to risk it.” Twilight blew ashes out of her face.
“I had to learn something to put out fires when Spike got the hiccups.” Twilight smiled at the now fond, but then terrifying memories.
“His Plasma Channel is safer, but slower. I imagine you were looking for something to cast straight away?” Robert asked.
“Yes and no. I did need something fast, and I can do Plasma Channel fast, but that doesn't put them out, it simply redirects them.” Twilight shrugged.
“Yes, which is why it's the standard for putting out fireplaces. You simply dump all that heat into the stones which are intended to take it.” Robert shook his head. “So, how'd yesterday go?”
“Most of time he wasn't near a fireplace.” Twilight said. “It went. They brought friends again.” she rubbed the bridge of her muzzle.
“You's want's me to give's 'em a talkin' ta?” Robert asked. Twilight blinked at him, then shook her head.
“No, not only do I doubt it will work, but this feels like one of those friendship lessons they need to learn.” Twilight sighed. “I've gotten kind of good at sensing them.”
“Ah. Glad those weren't part of my training.” Robert chuckled.
“Oh, popular were you?” Twilight asked.
“Not really. I always had friends, but never a lot of them. My father being important meant I'd get a lot of tigers sucking up to me, or trying to foist their kids on me as 'friends' so they could get close to my father. I fell for it a few times, and then stopped trying to make friends at all.”
“I never really had that problem. Mom and Dad aren't really.. influential, even if we're technically nobility. The 'House of Sparkle' and all that.” Twilight shook her head. “Then I became Celestia's student and had marriage proposals coming from colts and stallions of all ages.” she sighed. “Of course, I wasn't exactly an outdoorsy type even before then, but being asked to lock myself in a library? Yes, thank you very much.” she grinned.
“It's very hard trying to shut everyone out of your life though, isn't it?” Robert asked. “I found I did have a few true friends. The ones that wouldn't leave me alone even when I made it clear I couldn't and wouldn't help them get close to my father.” he smiled. “It's like being friends with a half-dozen Applejacks.”
“One is more than enough, thank you.” Twilight shook her head. “Speaking of her, how are the two of you getting along?”
“Slowly.” Robert replied. “All those years of distaste and mistrust don't go away instantly.” he smiled. “It's working though. I wouldn't expect her to embrace me as family overnight, but we're working on it.”
“Good for you.” Twilight smiled. “I believe it's your turn.”
“Yes... I've been trying to work this one out. It's only supposed to work at night, but if I just show the matrix, you might not recognize it?” she considered it.
“This one won't count.” Twilight said, with a shrug.
“Right, here.” he laid the matrix out. As expected nothing happened, but Twilight nodded.
“Ah, Lunar Storm. Luna showed it to me once when I was helping her catch up on magical development while she was...”
“Imprisoned.” Robert said, not bothering to dance around it.
“Yes. That's remarkably tactless.” Twilight pointed out.
“True, but it wasn't you. Besides, avoiding the issue is no proper way to mourne it.” Robert shrugged. Twilight raised an eyebrow. He shook his head and waved for her to continue.
“Right, I was catching her up on the advancements in magical theory in the past thousand years and she showed me that as the pinnacle of magical spell crafting at the time.”
“You laughed, didn't you?” Robert asked, completely seriously.
“I couldn't help it. She looked so mortified. I managed to calm her down. It wasn't that it was a bad spell, but we've had over a thousand years to pick it apart and create countermeasures. And in some ways improve upon the original..” she coughed delicately.
“Let me guess, you showed her your version?” Robert guessed correctly. Twilight nodded.
“She went from mortified to indignant to frustrated at having lost magical development. She seemed only a little mottled when I explained no one had come up with a way to cast it during the day.” Robert coughed. “What?”
“All you need is a bottle of moonlight.” he smiled. “Of course getting one is harder than it sounds, but once you've got it, it's enough to fuel the spell.”
“Whatever you do, don't tell her that.” Twilight implored him, hooves on either side of his head.
“I promise I won't. Now, for a slightly less controversial spell.” he turned and glared at one of the target boulders. A bolt of magically concentrated ice exploded through the air before him, and slammed into the boulder. Ice crackled over it's surface and into the cracks inside, then the boulder exploded in a burst of stone shards.
“Light Touches Ice Bolt.” Twilight snorted. “How about a challenge.” her horn flared, and something complex flowed out of it. A dozen spell circles crashed down into the ground around the base of the quarry,but they were little more than the targeting component. The air above her filled with a massive magical construct, drawing heat out of the air around them, and coalesced it into a roiling ball of plasma over their heads. Then she triggered it. White hot blasts of pure plasma arched through the air, slamming down into each of the circles, melting a dozen holes into the ground, each a good fifteen feet deep.
“Well well, Sunbeam's Opening Salvo. Haven't seen that one in a long time.” Robert said, throwing himself onto his haunches and applauding. “I suppose being an ancestral spell it's not something to be forgotten about.”
“No.” she said, panting faintly. Even for an Alicorn, that was a lot of magic to throw around. “It's been passed down for generations.” she glanced at him. “How do you know it? We never passed it outside the family.” Twilight leveled a stare at him.
“It's not exactly subtle, and so it's not unknown outside your family. That said, I wouldn't have known that's what it looked like if I hadn't been willing to guess.” he smiled brightly.
“Excuse me? You guessed?” a vein in Twilight's forehead popped.
“Yes? Look I thought that's what it might be, but you confirmed it.” Robert laughed, as Twilight realized she'd nearly had him.
“That's cheating!” she said, more than a little indignantly.
“No it's not. The whole point is to guess.” Robert replied, looking her in the eye. “Of course, I guess we could call that a draw, since I gave you a freebie.”
“Fair enough.” she agreed. “I think we've kind of reached the limit of what we can do without actually attacking each other.” she said after a long moment.
“Really? Then how about a little standing practice?” Robert grinned evilly.
“What's Standing Practice?” Twilight asked.
“Simply put, it's learning to stand up, while being assaulted by magic.” Robert replied.
“Oh, defensive stances.” Twilight said. “Another difference in training I guess.”
“Or my mentor is just strange. So, stand or strike?”
“Stand.” she teleported down into the crater. She raised a shield, and reached down into the ground, anchoring herself. “Okay, try and move me.” she immediately fell six inches. “What?”
“Teleported the ground. You gave me the idea.” Robert laughed. Twilight snorted. “My turn.” he stood still. Twilight's horn flared with purple light, and he floated up into the air.
“And the Princess said I'd never find a use for that reverse gravity spell again.” Twilight laughed. Robert landed with a thump. “I guess we're even. My turn again.” she laid down an anti- teleportation field into the ground beneath her, then held on. Rocks began to move around the floor of the quarry, rolling and bouncing, breaking and shattering against one another. Then they started spinning, slowly at first then round and round in a vortex around her. Her shield held easily because nothing was impacting it. In fact she was in the eye of the storm, untouched. Then the vortex shifted, and stones began slamming one after another into her shield, all within the same few inches. She poured power into the shield, and strengthened the target. Then suddenly it stopped hitting there, and began smashing the opposite side. She pumped power there as well. Too late, she realized what he was doing. The shield, weakened at the sides she hadn't reinforced. The vortex of stones struck at both sides of the shield at once, the combined assault punching through and shattering the shield. She jumped into the air to avoid being hit, and suddenly the stones fell, all of them, in a thunderous rain of pebbles.
“Two to one.” Robert panted heavily, struggling to stay upright. “Iron Hoof was a genius.”
“Yes, but he was no Star Swirl.” Twilight pointed out.
“He was also no Twilight Sparkle.” she flushed. “Even so, I'm impressed by your shield. The last opponent I faced upon whom I used that technique fell to the first shift in tactic.”
“No one shields like Shining and he taught me more than anyone I've learned from.” Twilight chuckled. “I wonder how he'd fare.”
“Like I said, Princess didn't make it past the first shift. He threw all his strength into defending from that first blow and then didn't have anything left for the second.” Robert laughed.
“Why on earth?” Twilight asked. Then she shook her head. “You know? I don't want to know.”
“Good for you, because I really can't explain. You should ask him if you're interested.” Robert suggested. “As for me, I believe it's my turn.”
“Right, I hope it's not as easy as last time.” Twilight's horn flashed. The reverse gravity spell didn't falter, and it didn't fail, but what it lifted was her. She cut it off, smiled, and then struck him with lightning. Or tried. The cloud formed, the bolt of lightning struck downwards at the perfect angle. But it skittered away at the last moment, earthing itself in a boulder, which promptly exploded. Two shields flickered to life, one solid and magenta, the other insubstantial and orange. Rock chips pelted Twilight's shield and fell to the ground. Chips hit Rober'ts, and rebounded, throwing themselves to the ground. Watching from inside her shield, Twilight came to the realization that she wasn't seeing just one shield, but dozens of tiny ones, placed just in front of the chips being deflected. An instant later she realized why. Each chip had a slightly different trajectory, and had to be deflected individually to ensure they didn't go flying away, like the rocks when she'd helped him with his shields. A thought occurred to her. Her horn flared as her own shield died. Wind swept along the bottom of the quarry, carrying dust and particulate with it. It swirled around into a dozen dust devils. One by one she sent them at him, varying her angle of attack with each one. The first hit him head on, and he weathered it without complaint. The second hit him just to his right side, but a shield deflected it over his head, forcing her to move out of the path of her own attack. The third and fourth combined into a slightly larger one than she'd anticipated, but the combined blast roiled forward through the air. Robert rolled his eyes, and suddenly a shimmering orange shield appeared in the middle of the dust devil and turned it back on itself, destroying it. The ball of fire that she flicked at him was completely unexpected. He jumped away, as it skimmed his tail, igniting it. He said several very unkind words to her, as he put it out.
“You said move you. You didn't say how.” she smirked.
“I did not. Very good. Not many are willing to try and avoid the distractions of a bunch of mini-tornadoes and launching a ball of fire.” Robert smiled. “Unpredictability is a powerful weapon, but not many know how to wield it to full effect.”
“So... channel Pinkie Pie?” Twilight asked.
“Not exactly, but it's a very good starting point. The old adage of expect the unexpected applies in combat above everything else. Except perhaps working with the Crusaders.” Robert grinned.
“Oh, the Crusaders.” Twilight vanished in a flash of magenta light.
“Okay then.” Robert said, blinking the stars out of his eyes. He shook his head, and trotted up the slope out of the quarry. He had, if not a date, then a prearranged meeting with Derpy. She was waiting at the cafe in town. Robert waved at her. She waved back with a huge grin on her face.
“Good afternoon Robert!” she called as he approached.
“Good afternoon Derpy. What's got your spirits up?” he smiled.
“Got the alternate invitations to the Equestria games. Says I can bring two with me.” she smiled. “So the kids'll be able to come and watch.” she showed him the envelope. “Even if I don't compete, we have front row seats.”
“Awesome.” he smiled. “So, I take it that's what lunch is for?”
“Oh, no, lunch is for eating.” she stared at him for a moment as the joke sank in. “Actually, Pinkie's throwing a party later and I wanted to invite you.”
“Miss a Pinkie Pie Party? NEVER.” he laughed. “And just for your information, I won't miss the games either.”
“You got tickets?” she asked, eyes widening.
“One ticket. Zecora's not interested, and everyone else I know is already going.” he chuckled. “Fortunately, a contact in Canterlot scored me a ticket.”
“Excellent. So, where you sitting?” she asked.
“Front row, north side of the stadium.” she stared at him for a minute, one eye spinning slowly. It wasn't the lazy eye, but what she jokingly referred to as her 'thinking' eye. It always moved when she worked things out in her head.
“In the reporter's box? How'd you work that out?” she asked.
“Traded an interview on the subject of the research Twilight and I did into Pegasus magic for a seat in the box. Fresh Scoop wasn't keen on heading to the Crystal Empire, so he was happy to make the trade. Something about not wanting to be in the same stadium as Princess Cadence after... 'the incident'. Wouldn't say what it was, but someone left a rubber chicken on his desk the day of the interview and he wouldn't even acknowledge it.” Robert smiled. “I guess some questions are better left unanswered.”
“Definitely.” Derpy thanked the waitress. “Umm... isn't all of … you,” she made a circular motion with a hoof “going to make a rather big splash at the games? I mean, we've grown accustomed to you, but the games only last a week.”
“Ah, well...” he took a deep breath, then released it. And suddenly Derpy was sitting across the table from an orange pegasus with a black mane and tail and black wing feathers. “That won't be a problem.”
“Wow. Cool. But isn't that going to interfere with your magic?”
“Yes it will but...” he changed back mid-sentence. “Twilight taught me how to set a timer on it. So it'll last for a set amount of time and then I'll revert. While it lasts, I'm nothing but another Pegasus.”
“Cool.” she grinned.
“Hey, where'd that sweet looking pegasus go?” Cloud Kicker asked, trotting up. Derpy laughed. “What?”
“That was Robert.” Derpy said, and then explained, still laughing. Cloud Kicker's face turned red.
“Oh.” she coughed, and started to turn away.
“Hang on.” Robert spoke up. She turned around. “I hear you're the closest thing to an expert that Ponyville has on Wingblades.”
“I know a bit, why?” she asked.
“I've been looking to learn, and going all the way to Canterlot for a teacher is a little more effort than I'm interested in.”
“Doesn't sound like you've got the discipline to master them.”
“Spend four hours flying there, or six on the train, train for half an hour, then fly or ride back? Not exactly an efficient use of time.”
“How fast are you going to only take four hours to reach Canterlot?” Derpy asked.
“I'm not much faster than your average pegasus, but I can fly higher up and I don't get caught up in the snarl of traffic patterns.” Robert replied. “Which also means I don't have to climb the mountain to land there, unlike a rather large number of pegasus who wait until the last moment to climb up and land. Why is that?” he asked the pair.
“Thin air combined with somewhat unpredictable air currents.” Derpy answered. “Weather teams only cover the cities and towns, and even they can only do so much.”
“Plus we have a much smaller wing surface to work with, giving less lift in general, so we have to work harder at higher altitudes.” Cloud Kicker added. “Which seems kind of silly, but then again, you're lifting a lot more of you.”
“True, there is more of me to lift and love.” Robert smiled smugly. The pegasi laughed. “I get the point. Well, it's nice to have some of the sky to myself. But what do you say? Teach me to not accidentally stab myself?”
“Are you going to keep bugging me if I say no?” she asked.
“No. I'm interested in learning, but I see no reason to annoy you if you're not interested. I can always find another teacher.”
“Not around here.” Cloud Kicker sighed. “No backing out. If I tell you to do something, I mean do it, and no arguments. They're not easy to use and anyone who tells you different is either an idiot or a liar.”
“Never had a problem following rules. But you'd better have an explanation for why I'm doing things.” Robert countered.
“I will. Deal?” she extended a hoof.
“Deal.” Robert shook it.
Chapter 39
“Extend wing!” Robert stretched his wings, six feet out to either side. The tips of the practice blades swung out as he did so. “Guard position!” he shifted his weight, partially folding his wings. “STRIKE!” He lashed out with his wings. The blunted tips of the blades drove into the target just between the peytral and criniere. And stuck in the wooden training dummy. He pulled on them for a moment.
“I think you over did it a little.” Cloud Kicker chuckled. “Nice killing blow mind you, but sharp ones do come out easier.” she fluttered over, and gripped the blade. “On three.” at the count of three, they both pulled. HARD. The blade came free, but so did Cloud Kicker. She caught herself, and landed.
“Ah.” Robert said, flexing his now free wing. Then he looked at the dummy. 'Bugger this.” He reached out with his front legs, put one paw on the neck and one on the shoulder of the practice dummy, and bent it. The blade popped free.
“Wow.” Cloud Kicker chuckled. “Didn't know you could do that.”
“Takes a lot of control not to break the thing you're bending, but it's possible.” he smiled. “Having claws that can grip the wood helps a lot as well.”
“I can imagine. Well, you still need a little work on the fine control.”
“Hey, the head stayed on this one.” he protested, waving a wing at a stack of headless practice dummies.
“True. You're paying for those by the way.” she added.
“Breakages were clearly covered in the contract.” Robert replied. “I know I told Twilight to add that in.”
“No way.” Cloud Kicker dug the document out of her saddlebag. She read through it again, then groaned. “Man, I am not charging you anywhere near enough.”
“Don't worry, I'll pay for those. After all, I do have an excellent teacher who's helping me stop breaking things.” Robert laughed. “Now, you said you were going to show me some exercises to do between sessions?”
“Yeah, I guess I did.” she took a breath. “Right, so you start like this.”
---
“Wow. You look like... a three-day old Pinkie Party.” Derpy laughed. Robert slumped on the table.
“I've just spent three days straight training with Cloud Kicker. If she bangs as enthusiastically as she teaches, I'm surprised her conquests can still walk.” he looked up at her. “Would you have them bring some of those coffee muffins? I would go, but I can't feel my legs.”
“Yeah.” Derpy said, fighting back gales of laughter. She headed further into the bakery. Robert closed his eyes, and woke to the smell of muffins. “Wow, you're really tired.”
“No kidding.” he bit down and swallowed two of the muffins, paper and all. It had NO EFFECT! “Ugh, please make the voice stop trying to be funny.” he muttered under his breath. Derpy pretended not to have heard him. Or the little voice.
“You just need more muffins.” Derpy laughed a little too loudly. Robert chuckled and ate another one. A couple more brought him awake. “Better?”
“Better.” Robert smiled. “Thanks.” he passed a few bits over for the cost of the muffins. She counted it up.
“There's too much here.” she said. Robert feigned deafness. She stared at him for a moment, then sighed, and put the money away. “So, has she got you in her bed yet?”
“No. I told her my fiance wouldn't approve and she accepted that.” Robert shrugged. “It's one of her charming qualities. She listens when you say something.”
“As opposed to?” Derpy asked.
“Roughly sixty-percent of the rest of the universe, if my calculations are not off.” Robert smiled. “I have the proof if you're interested.”
“Do I look like Twilight?” Derpy asked.
“Kind of. A little less purple, a little less horny.” Derpy blushed brightly. Robert chuckled. “You asked. Although you do actually look a little like her now that you mention it.”
“Really?” Derpy asked. Robert nodded. “Wow. Thanks for the compliment.”
“You're welcome. Now, you said you had a job for me?” he asked.
“I do.” she took a deep breath. “So, I have a delivery scheduled for two days from now, unfortunately, that means I don't get to be here for Dinky's play. And you know that there are many things I don't want to do and disappointing Dinky is at the top of the list.”
“So, you need me to make the delivery for you?” Robert asked. Derpy nodded. “I can do that. Where's it going?”
“Vanhoover.” Derpy said, leaning back.
“Okay.” Robert shrugged. “It's no big deal.”
“Really? The last time I asked anypony to do it, they burst into tears.” Derpy said, more than a little surprised.
“It's only a little farther than the trip to Manehattan. Though the country is a little rougher. Should be a piece of cake. Mmm.... Cake.” Robert trotted to the counter, and returned with two slices. “So what kind of package is it?”
“Nothing too big. But it's something that several groups have tried to grab. They wanted to send it with me because well, I don't look like someone anyone would trust with an important package.”
“I would.” Robert smiled. “I do see your point though.” he considered it. “And your boss doesn't have a problem with me taking it?”
“No. Actually he's pleased with the idea. He wants us to make the hand-off just outside of town, not far from Sweet Apple Acres.” she whispered quietly.
“No problem.” his eye scanned the room for ponies straining just a little too hard. He saw two of them, both pegasi, both at a table just inside hearing range. The whisper was just loud enough for them to catch. “I'll be waiting.”
---
He was waiting. Out on the north western edge of the apple orchard. No pony was waiting with him. It wasn't unexpected, just as it hadn't been the day before when Derpy asked him to do it. Out on the training ground where he'd been practicing with Cloud Kicker, safe from prying ears. Wards designed ostensibly to keep others safe had also had a sound proofing spell fused into them, to prevent eavesdropping, and more to warn him of such spells. The wards would keep others safe, by announcing their presence with a bell peal so both he and his instructor could hear another pony approaching. Which served a wonderful dual purpose.
She'd explained the plan, and the reasons behind it. The delivery had been hit several times, and was actually a shipment of valuable artifacts. Each time the attackers had been fought off, and the delivery returned. This time though, there were no artifacts. Luna had taken them through the dreams of several ponies and delivered them with none the wiser. The guard wanted the traitor found. They'd intended to insert a guard into the mail system and use them, but Derpy had suggested asking Robert. He already had a reputation for dangerous deliveries and the worst he could say was no. He'd rather enthusiastically said yes.
Now he was waiting for Derpy to arrive. He'd already counted the entire orchard's worth of apples and leaves. Finally the wards he'd laid out the night before rippled as a lone pegasus crossed them. Derpy appeared low over the orchard, wings locked in a long glide. She back winged and landed before him. She dug into her saddle bags, and passed him a square package, about a foot either way, no more than a few inches thick. He tucked it into his bag.
“Remember, mum's the word.” he put a paw to his lips.
“Gotcha.” she nodded and took flight back towards Ponyville. Robert turned and trotted into the forest on the edge of the acres. He felt the wards ripple once, then twice as the two pegasi followed him. He'd picked this section of the forest for two reasons. One was that it had the thickest canopy. An aerial survey had shown it was all but impenetrable from above, and thus they'd have to fly beneath it to keep track of him on the ground. He didn't slow down, but soon heard them moving from tree to tree. The second was the snake vines. He heard the yell as one of the pegasi ran into them. They weren't TOO dangerous if you weren't alone. They were relatively slow moving, but they could be trouble if you were alone. Robert had avoided them by staying out of the trees. He smiled hearing them struggle to escape the vines.
Clearing the edge of the forest, and getting onto open ground was only half the battle. He spread his wings, took three steps and beat into the air. He was lumbering, and doing so on purpose. Appearing to be an easy mark would make him likely to be attacked. At least he hoped. After a little less than half a day's journey he was hit from the side. He rolled and recovered, just in time to be hit on the opposite side. Whoever the attacker was, they were fast. He did not see them as they attacked, but instead of recovering again, he spread his wings and slowed his fall. The attacker plummeted out of the sky, but he felt the disturbance coming. He closed his wings falling below the attack, then snapped one open, and rolled over. Black feathers, black coat, and even black mane and tail. And fast. Not quite Rainbow Dash fast, but definitely fast. His attacker, who's cutie mark he couldn't see, climbed upwards then rolled over and dove at him. This time though he had her in his sights, and as she approached he changed the angles of his wings and rose to meet her. She started as he came, but couldn't break out of her dive. He attempted to catch her in a bear hug, but was struck by a bolt of lightning just as she approached. The combined attack startled and then winded him. He fell.
Landing on the ground can be painful. A crash landing more so. Robert crashed. Fortunately the field was mostly open. Unfortunately, he wasn't lucky enough to completely avoid thorn bushes when he fell. He rolled over several times, and landed on his back. He groaned, and rolled over. The sound of hooves rushing across the field penetrated his foggy mind.
“Listen carefully. This will be easy if you just hand over the artifacts. If not, well, this time we are prepared to take them by force.” the unicorn mare whom Robert guessed was in charge demanded.
“There's no need to shout.” Robert groaned. The groan was not an act. Landing hurts, and he was developing a headache. “What artifacts?”
“The ones you are delivering.” the unicorn demanded, her voice getting slightly shrill. His head was throbbing now.
“You could have just asked.” Robert grunted, rubbing his head. “Instead you give me a headache?”
“Would you have given them to me had I asked?” the unicorn asked, now slightly less shrill, but somehow taken aback.
“I would have.” Robert admitted. “No amount of bits is worth getting killed over.”
“Will you please give me the artifacts?” she asked.
“Not now. Now you've given me a headache. Now I'm not inclined to be pleasant.” Robert reached back and rebuttoned the flap on his bag. “If you're so interested in them, come and get them.”
“I was hoping to avoid bloodshed.” Her horn flashed, and a bolt of magic flickered out at him. A shield deflected it at one of the earth ponies with her. He yelped as it struck his flank. “I see. Perhaps you wish to keep them for yourself. Too bad. I will have them.”
She fired another magical blast, this time Robert didn't bother to deflect it. He simply stepped sideways. The earth pony behind him cried out and fell to the ground.
“My turn.” Robert lunged, not forward at the unicorn, as her magical shield said she'd expected, but to his left towards one of her earth pony followers, who obviously had anticipated being able to attack from behind. He reacted too late with his spear, and Robert ducked the hasty blow with ease, then proceeded to bowl over his target. The pony went down, and wound up with his spear tangled in his legs. Robert charged forward a few feet, then spun and lunged at the closest of his pursuers. Pony hooves are exceptional for many tasks, but rapid braking is not one of them. He plowed through two more earth ponies, before he managed to snag his bags on the hoof-axes wielded by on e of them. He sprinted clear of them, spread wings and took off. He heard a command shouted for the pegasi not to follow him, and smiled. He landed at the edge of the woods, and vanished into the underbrush. Or appeared to. The guard mages nodded to him as he crossed the wall of invisibility they'd erected to keep themselves hidden.
“The captain is waiting up there.” one of the unicorns pointed.
“Thanks.” Robert said and trotted through the group of pegasi and earth ponies waiting for the word to get the bandits. The captain, a deep blue unicorn with a target for a cutie mark was waiting. “Captain, they took the bait.”
“Did you make it a good show?” Sure Shot asked.
“Sure. Pity though. I think I could have taken them.” Robert snorted.
“There were eight of them.” the pegasi leader pointed out. “You'd have been mincemeat.”
“Only eight? I counted twelve.” Robert said.
“Five earth ponies, two pegasi and the unicorn in charge.” the pegasus counted, drawing positions in the dirt.
“There were two more pegasi in the treeline, wearing camo drapes, and two unicorns in the brush at the edge of the forest.” Robert said, drawing them in. “Not sure when they'd have engaged, but probably not until it looked like I was winning.”
“Captain! They've stopped.” the unicorn mage tracking the bags called. “The map says Cutter's Draw.” the captain said something very ugly.
“What's the matter?” Robert asked.
“Cutter's Draw is a notorious den of thieves and thugs. We'd need sixty or seventy guards just to fight our way in, and by the time we got in, they'd be gone.” the unicorn rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Then what you need, is an inside pony.” Robert shrugged. The captain glared.
“Yes, we know that.” he sighed. “We've been trying to get into there for years.”
“Then you're in luck. I know just the pony.”
Chapter 40
“No.” Trixie answered. “I will not go back to Cutter's Draw.”
“I'm not asking you to go back. Just to get me an invite.” Robert said.
“Trixie will not go back to anything to do with Cutter's Draw.” she threw her head up.
“Not even for a Royal Charter?” Sure Shot asked. “Grant money to keep the theater running, and a guarantee that nothing will happen to it.”
“Trixie is tempted.” she admitted.
“She'd better not be.” Ghost Light snorted from the door.
“Listen, this is Royal Guard business.” Sure Shot started.
“I don't give one whit. She's not going back to that place to save this one.” he said, leaning against the door frame.
“Trixie said she was tempted, not stupid.” she replied, glaring at him. “I'm sorry, I can't help you.”
“Well this was a waste of time.” Sure Shot snorted.
“Relax, and let me have a minute Captain.” Robert asked, patting his shoulder. Sure Shot glared at him for a minute, then walked out the door.
“She's not...” Robert held up a paw.
“Hear me out. I'll get the Royal Charter, but I need to get into the Draw. Trixie knows how. I want to impersonate her, and use that information to get in. Once I get in, I can complete Captain Sure Shot's plan and nail the group that's been messing with the mail.”
“You don't have the flair to impersonate Trixie.”
“Trixie disagrees.” she found herself staring at a picture perfect mirror. “After all, who but Trixie could ever impersonate Trixie?”
“I... don't... that's really creepy.” Trixie said. She prodded him with a hoof. “Transmutation?”
“They'll check for illusions.” Robert(Trixie) shrugged. “ And I can do anything with this horn I might need.”
“Perhaps. Alright, Trixie will teach you, but she wants something personal in return.” she held out a hoof.
“Agreed.” Robert said and reached out a paw.
“You probably should have asked what she wanted.” Ghost Light pointed out.
“I trust her.” Robert shrugged. “She hasn't done me wrong yet.”
“I suppose if you're sure.” Ghost Light shook his head. “I”m going to get back to the rehearsal and let you two have a little privacy.”
“Thank you dear.” Trixie smiled.
“Tell the captain I got what I needed and I'll meet him back at the Barracks.” Robert called. Ghost Light nodded, and disappeared out the door.
“Right, there are four challenges to entry. The first is recognition. If they don't know you, you'll be turned away.” Trixie looked him over again. “I suppose you've got that one covered. The second is a verbal challenge. There are many questions you'll be asked. Doesn't matter. The answer is ALWAYS 'Beneath a Moon Dark Sky.'
“Beneath a Moon Dark Sky?” Robert asked.
“Cutter's Draw is name for Glass Cutter. A very famous thief, who only ever struck when the moon was new and thus at it's darkest. Princess Luna herself was the one to catch her. Cutter fought the Princess to a draw, and surrendered. She was one of Luna's staunchest supporters.” Trixie smiled.
“You seem to know a lot about the place.” Robert noticed.
“Trixie is not just a pretty face. And besides, several of the residents are also student's of it's history and they will share much for the price of a mug of ale, or the pleasure of a fine mare's company.”
“Spent a lot on hookers did you?” Robert asked.
“Well yes, I... Trixie is the fine mare she was referring to you miserable lout.” she spent several minutes bludgeoning him with a pillow while he rolled on the floor laughing. Upon recovery, she resumed her teaching.
“The third challenge is the trickiest. The gates to the draw are always kept locked. You'll need to pick the pocket of the guard carrying them. It's not too hard, but you'll need to make sure he doesn't notice.” Trixie flashed her horn once or twice to keep the hat and cloak she was wearing in place. “Like Trixie noticed.”
“I might joke about a lot, but that really wasn't me. I haven't picked a pocket in more than a year.”
“If it wasn't you then who was it?” Trixie asked.
“I wasn't picking your pocket.” Ghost Light chuckled, having re-entered. Trixie's mind ran along for a moment on auto-pilot. Then a bright red spot spread across her face. She turned and stalked toward him. He chuckled nervously. Then she grabbed him and kissed him. Robert stood up and walked out the door, closing it behind him. Sure Shot looked up at him.
“It's gonna be a few minutes. I'm sure she'll let me know the rest. But I can get in. What's the next step?” Robert asked.
“I'll have you keyed into the tracking spell. You get in, find who's got the artifacts, and get out. No messes, no disobeying orders on some blood vendetta....” Sure Shot gave him a hairy eyeball.
“No thanks, I just ate.” Robert replied. “Don't worry, I'm just in this one for the money.”
“That's what they all say.” the unicorn shook his head. Thirty minutes later, a moderately disheveled Ghost Light trotted out of the apartment whistling, more than just slightly off-key. The pair at the bottom of the stairs winced. Trixie appeared, perfectly put together, just a moment later.
“Good you're still here. Well come on up stairs and I'll finish the job.” Trixie disappeared.
“Some creatures have all the luck.” the unicorn laughed. Robert rolled his eyes, spread his wings and leaped up to the balcony. Sure shot coughed in the blast of dust that rolled up from that single wingbeat.
“Trixie thanks you for not waiting. And for waiting.” Trixie coughed. “Sorry, flash back. Anyway, the last challenge is the simple one. Prove that you are who you pretend to be.” she sat back on her haunches.
“And I do that how?”
“Prove to Trixie that you are Trixie.” she shrugged. He stared at her.
“Okay. Shouldn't be too hard.” light flickered and she was staring at herself again.
“Trixie wishes she knew you could do this. We could have made a great show.”
“I couldn't then. But your shows were already great.” Robert replied.
“I know I'm supposed to compliment myself, but this? This is just weird.” Trixie shook her head. “Wow me.”
“Wow you? Why should Trixie wow you, when you steal Trixie's face? Clearly you are some miserable guard pony, hiding under an illusion trying to convince others that Trixie is a liar. But you won't stop Trixie from making sure you don't fool anypony!” Trixie half laughed and half winced. It was both too hilariously good, and too close to spot on to what she had been. “Now you're laughing at Trixie you dirty scoundrel, besmirching Trixie's good name and fabulous reputation? The Great and Powerful Trixie will fix you. Trixie will volunteer in soup kitchens, no! Trixie will do soup kitchen CATERING. Let's see you ruin Trixie's good name in the face of such amazing acts of kindness and generosity! You wish ponies to see Trixie as a dirty coward? No, Trixie shall do such acts of charity and selflessness that you will seem a poor imitation!”
Trixie rolled on the floor laughing, and waved a hoof for him to stop. When she caught her breath, she rolled upright, and grinned at him. “That was perfect. I guess you paid more attention during the shows than I thought.”
“I will hoof it to you Trixie, you're pretty hard to ignore.” Robert admitted.
“Yes, I really am, aren't I.” Trixie laughed again. “ You should be fine. Just... you know, try not to make me a target eh?”
“Don't worry. If I have to do anything I'll make sure my reveal is grand enough to assure them I wasn't ever really you.” Robert smiled. “The general would prefer I not be noticed at all though.”
“Trixie approves of this plan.” she smiled, then paused. “Though I must warn you, you might run into a few of Trixie's former acquaintances, who might not know Trixie has gone legit. I would like very much for you to not explain that.”
“Oh? Can I ask why?” Robert asked, spell fading him back to his own form.
“Trixie does not wish to be seen as a rat.” she shrugged. “Even if I have not told the guards anything, there are those who would suspect Trixie's motives.” she glanced away. “And others who would seek to confirm it, which I do not want around.”
“Understood. Look, if you want, I can impersonate somepony else. I'm sure the dungeons are full of ponies whom I could imitate easily.” Robert offered. Trixie stared for a moment, then shook her head.
“No. It's not that I don't think you could but... if you make a mistake, it would be my fault. And Tri....I don't want anyone else hurt because of me. Be me, but be cautious.” she smiled. “I don't have too many friends, but I don't want the bride's side to be completely empty.”
“Oh? Has he proposed?” Robert asked.
“No, but he is a performer like Trixie. He will wait for the right moment.” her eyes narrowed. “And if not, I will make sure he reconsiders.”
“Trixie....” Robert said, a hint of concern tinging his voice.
“Timing is everything.” Trixie smirked. “But if he steals the spot light from a show, I'll pound him good.” she thudded a hoof into the floor. Robert resisted for all of a second.
“I thought he was the one doing the pounding.” Trixie hit him with the couch.
Chapter 41
“What happened to you?” Rainbow Dash asked, as Robert limped through town. “Make one joke too many?”
“Yes.” Robert replied. “Of course, at least she apologized.”
“Who did it? I'll kick their flank for you?” Rainbow punched the air a couple of times.
“Trixie.” Rainbow hung in the air for a moment. “No worries. I'm a big tiger, and it's not the first time I've been hit by furniture.” Rainbow opened and closed her mouth a couple times.
“You're friends with Trixie?” she managed. Robert took a breath.
“Yes. Were you not aware?” he asked, calmly. She shook her head.
“Why did nopony tell me?” she asked plaintively.
“I suspect the author forgot you.” Robert offered comfortingly. Rainbow glared at him.
“No one forgets Rainbow Danger Professionalism Dash.” she crossed her forelegs. “Not if they know what's good for them.”
“We had several entire chapters, with you.” Robert waved a paw. “Besides, we're breaking the fourth wall and that's Pinkies job.”
“I suppose. Where was I?” she asked.
“Indignant rage over not being told about Trixie.” he answered.
“Right, got it.” she threw her legs up into the air. “Trixie, how could you possibly be friends with that hyper-competitive, self absorbed, braggart?!”
“It's hard at times. But she's mellowed out some.” Robert shrugged. “Being able to tolerate her is one of the many skills I've cultivated. Besides, she helped me get here, and I helped her with her shows.”
“Really?” Rainbow landed. “Why?”
“She seemed really down on her luck when I met her. We found ourselves in a mutually beneficial situation. I helped her get her act together, pun intended, and she helped me find Ponyville.”
“Huh. I guess the trouble here was worse than we realized.” Rainbow said.
“Indeed. She was more than a little... not broken. It'd take more than even the Alicorn amulet to break Trixie. But humbled I think.” Robert shook his head.
“Oh. I didn't even think about it like that.” Rainbow rose into the air again. Robert doubted she'd even noticed she'd done it. “Do you think she'll ever come back here?”
“She's been back.” Robert replied, and explained what had happened.
“Oh. Well...” Rainbow chuckled and rubbed her head. “I guess I was asleep when that happened huh?”
“Yes, but so was the rest of the town. I only woke up Twilight and Rarity. Then slept the rest of the night. Fortunately, those two made the evening.” Robert grinned.
“Really? I wouldn't have expected Twilight to be a romantic.” Rainbow grinned.
“As far as I know, mostly she just gave them a restaurant to go to, and paid for it. Rarity made a dress, and Trixie did the rest.” he smiled. “I presume it went well because now she's expecting a proposal.”
“Wow, moving a little fast aren't they?” Rainbow asked. “And you know, it's me asking.”
“Oh, yes, the very last thing Trixie wants is a wedding, where she's the sole focus of every ponies attention.” Robert said, voice dripping sarcasm. Rainbow chuckled.
“Yeah, I see your point.” Rainbow paused a moment. “So why were you talking to Trixie?” she asked after a moment.
“Guard thing. Very hush, hush. I'll tell you about it when it's over.” Robert looked around furtively. Rainbow chuckled. “What are you up to?”
“Trying to get to know Pinkie's Sister.” Rainbow said. Robert raised an eyebrow. “Her name is Maud. She likes Rocks. A lot.”
“Sounds interesting.” Robert replied.
“Umm... no.” Rainbow said after a moment. “She's as boring as Pinkie is fun.”
“Depends on your interests.” Robert noted. “I'd like to meet her.”
“There she is, I'll introduce you.” Rainbow lead the way. “Maud?”
“Yes?” she turned.
“This is Robert, another friend of Pinkie's.” Rainbow said and backed away.
“Charmed.” Maud held out a hoof.
“Likewise.” Robert shook the hoof.
“Okay, so I'm gonna go... fluff the clouds.” Rainbow vanished.
“She out of earshot?” Robert asked. Maud nodded. “Excellent. So I've been informed you're a rockologist?”
“I will be. I'm going away to school for it.” Maud nodded.
“So opinions on 'Magical crystal formations in sedimentary stone layers?'” Robert asked.
“Complete and utter hogwash. Unsupported theory, no evidence to support his accusation. Plus he used Diorite's second theory, which was discredited years ago.”
“Thank you. Finally someone who doesn't think the sun rises and sets for the sole pleasure of Granite Shatterhoof.” Robert sighed.
“I'm surprised to meet a fellow Rockologist here. I hadn't expected that.” Maud admitted. “Particularly such a brilliant one.”
“A good measure of intelligence is how much another person agrees with you. By that reasoning, we must be geniuses.” Robert grinned.
“Clearly.” Maud smirked for a half-second, then was back to normal. “And Orthoclase' treaty on the healing effects of calcine crystals?”
“Rarely have I seen such a large number of correct conclusions for such wrong methodology.” Robert shook his head.
“You're not suggesting he was right?” Maud asked, incredulously.
“I am. He was wrong about it being the natural state of them. But properly prepared, and touched with the right amount of magic, they can heal certain maladies.” Robert replied. “But this idiot has to believing they'll cure anything from a cold to near-death in a natural state.” he shook his head.
“They do have a rejuvenating effect on , unicorn horns though.” Maud noted.
“True. Tiger Fangs as well, but only with a high silicon count.”
“Precisely.” Maud shook her head. “Most ponies I've met find rocks very boring.”
“I know. Most tigers feel the same.” Robert smiled. “So, have you considered your thesis?”
“Mmm...” Maud nodded. She flicked a glance around, then leaned close. “Rocks.”
“A stunning proposition.” Robert nodded. Maud stared for a moment, then smiled for a moment.
“I though so. Now, I have to go try and be friends with Twilight.” Maud sighed. “I hope this one goes better.”
“Just remember, it's for Pinkie.”
“So it is.” Maud nodded, set herself and walked into the library.
---
“So? You ready?” Sure Shot asked.
“Si Mi Generale.” Robert answered. Sure Shot blinked. “Yes, I'm ready. That's the seventh time you've asked me.”
“It's... I hate relying on mercenaries.” Sure Shot admitted. “We've been burned in the past.”
“Ah you know mercs, bunch of whiny little foals.” Robert shook his head. “Besides, I'm not actually a merc, and I'm the only option you've got.”
“That's what worries me.” the stallion admitted. “Just be careful. I'd hate to have to tell the princess something happened.”
“Nothing will happen. The GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE will make sure of that.” Robert said and transformed. !Trixie settled her hat and cloak into place. “Now that I look fabulous, it's time to steal the show.”
!Trixie trotted out of the concealment of the encampment and into the forest. Finding Cutter's Draw was a challenge in itself, but not one that !Trixie was not up to. Particularly since the original Trixie had provided instructions and the general had provided a map. And if this forest wasn't as dangerous as the Everfree, it was still dark and damp. After five minutes of tromping, !Trixie flicked a glance around, then lit her horn and rose above the ground. The lavender glow of her horn matched the glow of the long shoes she was walking on, keeping her out of the mud. The cobblestone landing that was the entrance to the path to the draw was the first dry ground she had seen in the forest. The clicking of hooves on stone brought guards from the brush. Two unicorns, horns alight, and two earth ponies, hoof axes gleaming.
“Stay thy hoof, and raise thy hat that we might know thee.” a voice, from none of them called.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie removes her hat for nopony, and would hope that you know her already, or she will find most unpleasant ways to ensure you do not forget her again.” !Trixie snapped. All the same she raised a hoof, and pushed the hat back on her head to reveal her face.
“Well well, if it's not the Great Magician come slinking back to us.” said a Pegasus, dropping from the canopy to land in front of her. !Trixie saw the key in his belt and contained a smile. “I heard you'd gone straight.” the guards closed, now slightly less on edge, but only slightly.
“The rumors of Trixie's straightness are greatly exaggerated.” she proclaimed. One of the earth ponies laughed. 'THWOCK.' He toppled over from the blow. “That is not what Trixie meant, uncouth pervert.” The pegasus laughed and lost his key.
“As amusing as this is and it is, you were banished from this place and told only to return under one condition. Which was?”
“Beneath A Moon Dark Sky. Which has not happened since Luna returned.” !Trixie grunted.
“Hmph. Very well, let me unlock the gate.” The pegasus turned and led her to a great stone door set in the side of a cliff. He reached for his belt and fumbled. “Hey, where's my key?”
“Where it has always belonged, in the possession of Trixie.” !Trixie said and clicked the lock open..
“Fine, fine, inside.” the pegasus waved her in with a wing, then threw up his hooves after she was gone. “She's only gotten more annoying... and she took the key.” he continued to mutter to himself as he beat his wings and flew into the trees.
---
Through the door was a room. It wasn't terribly large, but it didn't need to be. One wall was a one way mirror, and examination showed small nozzles scattered around the walls. !Trixie found that from some curiosity of her eyes, she could see through the mirror. There were three ponies and a griffon on the other side, one of each of the tribes. The griffon spoke.
“Alright, you know the procedure Miss Lulamoon. Prove yourself.” she said.
“Excuse me? You're not going to tell The Great and Powerful Trixie who you are? Yet you expect her to prove herself to you? You are sorely mistaken if you think that The Great and Powerful Trixie needs to prove ANYTHING TO YOU.” !Trixie inhaled.
“Yes, we get it. It's you. Welcome back. Now go away.” the unicorn's horn glowed and another door opened. !Trixie smiled and trotted through. The door shut behind her. Laid out before her was a huge market, containing all sorts of illegal and unsavory things. Piles of pony parts, and particularly perverse pleasures prohibited by law and common decency.
Robert found himself torn between wanting to change back and have a decent burger, wanting to change back and scour the place clean, and remaining Trixie and completing his mission. The last of these won out and he decided to scourge the place later. Wanting to get out as quickly as possible, Robert attempted to tap into the tracking spell. Unfortunately, while Robert the Tiger had been keyed into the spell, Trixie the Unicorn had not. On the upside, while might not have gained Trixie's talent for illusions, Robert was not completely hopeless at them. Finding an abandoned alleyway was the first challenge. Not that it was hard to find an alley, since most of the Draw seemed to consist entirely of them. Finding one abandoned was more difficult. Every alley seemed to contain one or two ponies, sometimes more. Occasionally they were all nearly identically attired, presumably all the same gang, though they might simply all have shared fashion tastes. !Trixie was certain Rarity would have fainted at the mere suggestion that that was fashion.
She was of course accosted once or twice, once by a drunken lout who fell over when pushed, and then by an attempted pickpocket. He came away with a hoof caught in a rat trap. Propositions came from several places, both offering and hoping for an offer. !Trixie ignored, or denied them all. The alley that finally reared it's head was in the deepest part of the Draw, and was abandoned when she found it. The illusion cast was not what might have been used to avoid visitors in other places, but the scene in the Draw was one that would not only keep away other ponies, but one that would actively discourage them. Most ponies wouldn't countenance compulsion, and even most Tigers would find the idea repugnant, but Robert went ahead and added in a compulsion effect to force any pony or anyone else that looked upon the scene that was unfolding to want to turn away as quickly as possible. Of course such a scene had to be tailored to any who might be looking. Ponies would see one thing, griffons another. Robert had seen no Minotaurs, but he wasn't willing to take the risk, and had left something for them as well. While there was always the chance of someone who fancied the macabre coming past, that was why the compulsion. That was not subtle in the slightest, but it was not meant to be. A second compulsion, aimed at unicorns in specific and magic users in general was far more subtle, in directing them to not investigate as being unworthy of notice.
Finally a second illusion, with the same compulsions covered the alley from the air. Far too many griffons and Pegasi to leave that to chance. Technically the illusion had three sides, since all three had to match, but it was a dead end, and no one should have been coming from that direction anyway. Satisfied that it was safe, Robert shifted back to his normal form. The tracking spell immediately shone bright as the sun above. He stared at it for several minutes before changing form again. She waited for the illusion to reach a certain point, then let it fade. No pony was watching, but she left the compulsion to unravel. Anyone who walked into it would find an aversion to the area, but it wouldn't leave any other trace.
She moved across the draw, finding another alley. Again the same precautions, but the illusion different this time. No good to have the compulsion hit the same pony twice and have them think on the details. Practice paid off, and on the second try she had a close position of the tracking target. Slipping into the area where the tracking spell pointed. There were three buildings in the vicinity.
The alleys were too crowded to lay down an illusion, and !Trixie didn't want to be remembered as too interested. So she trotted past, head down as if searching the ground for something lost. A glowing horn was hard to hide, and could be detected even if you did. So disguise was the best thing. So she trotted around, horn glowing, lifting pieces of paper, and other detritus as if searching for something. True the hat hid the horn from physical view, but unicorns could feel others using magic, and she was aware. So instead she appeared to be using magic for something mundane. Were someone to ask, she had a story prepared, and was ready to regale them with a dazzling tale.
“What're you doing?” a guard pony asked, as she levitated him into the air.
“Looking.” !Trixie said, dropping him to the ground. He landed with a grunt.
“Boss don't like no one looking around.” he said and stepped forward, hammer hooves clicking against the ground. They were a perfect weapon for a knowledgeable user. Capable of debilitating blows, as well as killing ones.
“Unless he's stolen my rabbit, he's in no danger from me.” !Trixie said, lifting the top off a rubbish bin. She stuck her head in, and pulled it out. “Of course, Trixie is willing to pay well for the return of the rabbit.”
“Rabbit? What rabbit?” The guard asked, confused.
“The rabbit Trixie pulls from her hat.” she rolled her eyes. “Obviously.”
“Oh, right. Well, I ain't seen no rabbits around here.” the guard said. He opened his mouth to say more, but she pecked him on the cheek.
“You could have just said so. Trixie is away then.” she turned and trotted away.
---
“Trixie returns your key.” she said to the pegasus at the gate. He fell off the branch he was sitting on. He rose into the air again.
“Thank you. How did you get up here?” he demanded.
“Neither a lady, nor a magician ever reveal their secrets. Trixie is both, and thus reveals neither.” she raised her nose, then dropped to the ground. It was quite the distance, but a Soft Fall spell is one of the first many unicorns learn, and Trixie was no exception. It did of course require prior preparation, so it wasn't as useful as Slow Fall, but it could make a very interesting impression. She slipped out of the forest without further incident. Sure Shot was waiting.
“I found them.”
“Umm... You're still not you.” Sure Shot noted. !Trixie shifted back. “Better. So, who is it?”
“How should I know? I'm not a local, which is why you used me.” Robert replied. Sure Shot's eye twitched. “I did get the sigil on the guard of the building.” he trotted to a table with a blank sheet of paper, and picked up a pencil. His eyes closed, and he drew. After a moment he opened them. “Well, that's not quite right, but I hope you get it?”
“Yeah, I know exactly who they are.” Sure Shot sighed. “We're going to need some back up.”
“Bad?”
“Very. However, you did exactly what we asked, and for that, I'm giving you a bonus.” Sure Shot passed him a bag of bits. “Head on home. We'll take it from here.” Sure Shot patted his shoulder.
“Will do. Good luck.” Robert said. He trotted out of the field, spread his wings and took off. The air was thick with Pegasi guards. A short time later, he found himself turning around and winging back towards the encampment. Sure Shot didn't seem surprised that he'd come back.
“Had a change of heart?” the unicorn asked.
“Forgot my hat and cape.” Robert said. The unicorn's jaw hung open. “Why? Did you expect something else?”
“I... no, I guess not.” Sure Shot sighed.
“Look, if you want me to get the stuff back, I can. Keep your soldiers out of it, and you know, just sort of generally avoid the pointless death.” Robert offered. “Of course, there might be a few pointy death's but somethings can't be avoided.”
“Are you sure? You'll be going in unsupported, and without any backup.” Sure Shot offered.
“That's the way I like it.” Robert grinned.
Chapter 42
It turns out that it's spectacularly hard to stop a rampaging tiger. When the tiger in question can do magic, and fly, it's that much worse. Robert decided on the subtle method. So he set the forest on fire. While the stone walls that protected the Draw also protected it from the fire, it's defenders weren't so lucky, and they immediately began trying to put out the flames. They didn't have much luck, since ghost flames only appear to be fire. Robert landed in the middle of the effort, and unleashed a burst of magic that blew the gates off the wall. The same blast also shattered the mirror inside the entry hall. The ponies and griffon behind it were unconscious when he entered. Twilight's version of Moonwood's Lunar Blade punched through the inner doors like so much wet tissue paper. The interior of the Draw was in complete disarray. Combat magic was one option, but there was little need to expend the effort. Instead, a calculated burst of anger, charged with a bit of magic flared out from him. The anger would make those focused on try to start a fight. The magic would make it contagious.
The first blow landed within seconds. It spread with every contact, each blow translating into an infection, or reinfection. While being reinfected wouldn't precisely do anything, it would prolong the effects. When Robert landed outside the guarded warehouse, the battle had already spread. The guards were there, but they were hemmed in close to the gate. Contact from one blow finally caused it to spread to first one, then the other guard. Robert leaped over them. They didn't notice him as they battled each other and the crowd around. He slipped into the door, and closed it behind him.
“Hey! Who are you? And what on Equestria is going outside?” A voice demanded from the darkness.
“Hold that thought.” Robert replied, then gave a tug on the weave of magic. All at once, the touch effect dissipated, replaced by a different one. Each blow would burn out rage, both in the attacker and target. And subsequently burn out a considerable amount of energy. “Okay, right... I am Robert. And what's going on out there? A magically induced fight.”
“Okay, great. Who started that?”
“Me.”
“Why?”
“Because I've been sent after some stolen artifacts.” Robert replied.
“What? No Daring Do?” Ahuizotl demanded. “She usually shows up by now.”
“No, haven't seen her. Possibly couldn't get in here. The door is... was pretty well guarded. Now it's kind of non-existent.” Robert shrugged. “I'm sure she'll be along shortly. Not everyone has my flair for the....” A tan blur swept through the room, leaving a gray trail and sweeping the table clean of the artifacts. “Nevermind.”
“You'll never get these back Ahuizotl.” Daring proclaimed from her spot in the rafters.
“Daring Do! Seriously, it took you long enough.” the villain shook his head. “You will not foil me his time! Get her minions!” several jungle cats appeared from various places, followed by a white house cat.
“Steve?” Robert started. “You're working for him?” the other tiger coughed delicately.
“He pays well and the benefits are nice.” the other cat shrugged. Ahuizotl blinked.
“Dental?” Robert asked.
“Ye... no. None at all.” Steve said, having read the books.
“Too bad.” Robert hit him with the table. Ahuizotl snarled.
“You three, get her, you two, get him!” He directed them and lunged at Robert, as the other cats began climbing into the rafters. Unfortunately for them, a pegasus with the high ground is pretty hard to get hold of. Robert meanwhile found himself being grappled by the villain, one arm around his throat, the other trying to get him into a choke hold and the tail hand grabbing for his face. Robert let his legs buckle under him and rolled over, mashing the villain into the ground. As he came upright, he found himself with a face full of housecat, and a leopard leaping into the fray. The leopard was simultaneously the bigger threat, and easier to deal with. It landed on his back, claws sinking in. Robert roared in pain, then threw himself up on his hind legs and fell backwards. The leopard leaped clear and spun around to face him again. Robert landed face first on the ground, dislodging the housecat, then he rolled up.
In the rafters, Daring Do flicked back and forth between the ceiling supports and the tops of broken pillars. The cats followed as quickly as possible, but they were no match for her speed. Of course, she was weighed down by a bag of magical artifacts, and they had the advantage of numbers. They split up and corralled her. Which might have been more effective had they not all attacked at once, leaving her the simple route of escape of down.
Ahuizotl had pulled himself back up and was now circling Robert in tandem with the leopard and one very drunken looking house cat. Steve struggled upright, and glared at the teeth on the floor. Just in time for a descending Daring Do to crash into his head, driving it back to the floor and knocking more teeth out. He staggered a half-step before the cats that had crashed slammed into him from above. Daring shot forward low over Ahuizotl's head, and towards the door. Robert's paw reached up and snagged the bag of artifacts from her. Daring face planted and skidded forwards, rolling straight over the seriously startled housecat.
“Hey!” she yelled, stumbling up right. “Those belong in a museum!”
“So do you!” Ahuizotl retorted.
“Docta Jones!” called a small asian kid, running into the warehouse.
“Wrong universe kid.” Robert sighed. “And one movie too late.”
“Oh bugger.” said the kid, and disappeared out the door.
“I'll take those back now.” Ahuizotl grabbed at the bag. Robert let it go, just as Daring cleared his head, and snatched the bag away.
“No, I'll take them and put them someplace safe!” she declared and raced for a small window.
“No you don't!” Ahuizotl threw a crate which missed Daring, but closed off the window.
“Mine.” Robert grabbed the bag and booked it for the door.
“Get him!” Ahuizotl shouted to his conscious minions. Daring kicked the lynx in the head, and slipped past the panther and the villain himself. Robert dropped the bag, and spun around a corner. Daring grabbed it, but was grabbed by Ahuizotl and slammed to the floor. He scooped up the bag and leaped for the door. A crane arm swung out into the aisle and he slammed head first into it, dropping the bag and landing on his back. “Ow.”
“Sorry to fight and run, but this is my cue.” Robert snatched up the bag and ducked out the door, slamming it a half-second ahead of the Panther. He didn't stop to leave a relieved sigh, but sprinted out into the streets. There were still some ponies fighting, those who hadn't been affected by his spells but were working out things just the same. The gates were being guarded by a group of heavily armed criminals. Robert slipped into a building nearby, and laid down to rest. Patience would be rewarded.
---
It was half an hour before an opportunity presented itself. Ahuizotl came stomping around the corner of the street, straight into the guards. “Have you seen a Tiger with a huge bag? He stole something from me.”
“What? Where was he last?” the guard in charge demanded. “He's the one who broke down the gate.”
“I don't know, that's why I'm asking you!” Ahuizotl screamed in reply.
“You guys are dumber than a box of rocks.” Robert called from the end of the street.
“Get HIM!” Ahuizotl and the guard screamed, charging forward. Not all the guards followed, but the better part of them did. Robert smiled and watched them chase the illusion into the Draw. He turned around to find himself snout to snout with Daring Do.
“I'll take those now.” she said, smiling.
“Okay. I'm sure the guards will go easy.” the smile faded slightly.
“What?” she asked.
“The Royal Guards. They're who I'm after the artifacts for.” Robert said.
“You should have said so.” Daring replied, smile still fixed on her face.
“Never seemed to be a right moment.” Robert replied. “Robert.” he extended a paw.
“Daring Do.” she answered, shaking it. “Got an exit strategy?”
“Yes, but if you've got another option, I'm open to alternate suggestions.” Robert spread his paws.
“I was planning on bowling through the guards and escaping into the forest. Of course I also had a plan involving a little black dress and cocktail wieners filled with knockout drugs. Imagine my surprise to find someone had already opened the door. With explosives apparently.” Daring raised an eyebrow.
“I am well acquainted with subtle, because it is what I am not.” Robert admitted.
“Then we'll get along well. Shall I lead the way out?” Daring offered.
“I would be delighted to let you go first.” Robert waved a paw. Daring chuckled and lead him out of the building. The guards straightened. The tiger they were after, and Daring Do of all ponies, walking up the road towards them, chatting jovially, and seemingly oblivious to their presence. Naturally they suspected a trap.
“You two, stop!” the guard raised a hoof.
“Fine. Here.” Robert held out a note.
“I don't...” the guard started.
“What it's not like he prepared explosive runes. Who's that crazy prepared?” Daring asked. Robert nodded. The guard looked down.
The explosion knocked him and the other guards flat on the ground. Daring picked her way through the destruction.
“How long have you had those explosive hieroglyphs?” Robert asked.
“Since Book Two.”
Chapter 43
“You met Daring Do?” Rainbow asked. “Was she as awesome as you thought?”
“She had her moments. I was a little distracted.” Robert replied, rubbing the side of his head. “Ahuizotl isn't an easy opponent.” he fought valiantly the urge to scratch at the bandages on his back.
“You're telling me.” Rainbow laughed. “Did you guys win?”
“Sort of.” Robert admitted. “Technically we weren't on the same side to start with, and I came out with the prize.”
“You beat Daring Do? Don't believe it.” Rainbow stated.
“I did not beat Daring Do.” Robert acknowledged.
“Told you so.”
“I beat Ahuizotl. He beat Daring Do.” Robert nodded. “Then I beat him and ran away as fast as I could go.”
“You got away from Daring Do?” Rainbow asked.
“For a little while. She tracked me down and we realized we were on the same side. Then we blew the joint and returned the stolen artifacts.” Robert shrugged, and winced. “Almost a piece of cake.”
“Cool. So what's next for the tiger about town? Party with the Wonderbolts?” Rainbow asked, grinning.
“Those dweebs? No thanks.” Robert said. Rainbow's mouth opened and closed.
“D-dweebs?” she managed. “How could you possibly say that?” she glared at him.
“After everything you've told me? How I could I not?” Robert replied, sitting down. “First they don't pay attention to the actions of the cadets they're training, only results. What's more, they wanted to abandon Soarin at the first opportunity, just because he'd had a minor injury.” he snorted. “And that's just as a stunt team.”
“I don't believe this.” Rainbow said, landing, and leveling a stare.
“And their track record against actual threats? I'll give them Nightmare Moon. Twilight and Celestia were the only two who could have predicted that, and only the elements could have stopped them. Discord was the same thing, just flat out out of their class, and they never engaged him anyway. The changelings? Numerous but not invincible and they steamrolled the Wonderbolts like they weren't even trying.” Robert shrugged. “No pony not packing the Crystal Heart had a chance against Sombra, so that doesn't count.” he sighed. “Let's not even mention how easily Spike managed to defeat them. Yes, he was giant size, but he also was completely ground bound. And all they managed to do was annoy him until he trapped them like flies in a jar. Some Elite fliers that have been out done twice by Rarity. A pony who under normal conditions cannot fly and they've been defeated in the air by her. By accident. And she stopped a rampaging dragon, where they failed.”
“I.. I...” Rainbow's brain fought to catch up.
“You want to join them? Go for it. They could use the help. You're loyal, tenacious and an exceptional flier. They need you to improve the team. Me? They fail to impress me.” Robert shrugged, and then winced again.
“I'll... think about what you said.” Rainbow sighed. “I don't know if I agree with all that. But I'll at least consider it.” she turned, then stopped. “If you feel that way about them, then why all the Wonderbolt's stuff for me?”
“Because a good friend doesn't let a little prejudice get in the way of a friend's happiness.” Robert smiled. “Now, I'm going to go find some medical assistance. Royal Guard Medics are not known for their generosity with pain medication.”
“Yeah, they're pretty stingy.” Rainbow laughed, then disappeared in a flash of light. Robert turned and limped through the town square. Zecora was on the other side of town, and he preferred her personal experience with Tigers to the calculations of the hospital, if they could even do anything. Which is how he ran into Lyra and Bon-bon. Not literally, since he was walking, but they still altered course to meet him.
“Hey Robert.” Bon-bon called, and waved a hoof for him to stop before they approached. “What happened to you?”
“A very long story.” he replied evenly. “What can I do for you two fine mares?”
“He's as bad as Cloudkicker.” Lyra laughed.
“No one is as bad as I am.” said the voice of a low flying pegasus, but she continued on without landing, off towards another cloud.
“Anyway, we wanted to invite you to a concert.” Lyra said, after a moment of head shaking.
“Oh? Why me?” Robert asked.
“Lyra's going to be performing her flute piece. The commissioner heard it, and asked her to play it for the debut. She's getting to play in the Canterlot Opera. She'll be opening for her crush.” Bon-bon fluttered her eyes at her marefriend.
“S..stop it!” Lyra said, flushing. “I do not have a crush on Octavia.”
“Your face says differently.” Bon-bon teased. Lyra blushed brighter.
“So when is this concert?” Robert asked, hoping to keep the conversation from getting worse.
“In a couple of days.” Bon-bon replied. “The date is on the tickets.”
“Tickets?” he asked, eyebrow raised.
“Yeah, there's two of them.” Lyra said. “So bring somepony with you.”
“Great, now I've got to pick somepony.” Robert sighed. “This should be fun.”
“If you don't want to go..” Bon-bon began.
“That's just it, I do.” Robert sighed. “The problem is that I've made a fair few friends in town and I've only got one spare ticket.”
“Oh.” she saw the problem. “I could find someone else to take the second ticket?” the cream colored pony offered.
“No, no, I'll figure it out. Thanks for the offer though.” Robert nodded.
“You'll want to wear something though. The bandages might make the nobles faint.” Lyra laughed.
“I'll take that under advisement.” Robert smiled.
“Well, I've got to take her home and pour her into bed...” Bon-bon's comment was interrupted by Lyra plastering herself to her marefriend's lips.
“No pouring necessary if you get in with me.” the slightly tipsy unicorn smiled. Bon-bon appeared to turn into a redhot. Robert took the cue and limped away from them.
The solution presented itself from a rather unexpected source. Zecora was busy treating his wounds, and telling him off for them, while he explained the problem to her and Apple Bloom.
“Why don ya get them all in a room and ask them all at once?” Apple Bloom said. “That way ya don't get any pony mad for asking any pony else first?”
“From the mouths of babes.” Zecora chuckled. “Come idea's worthy of accolades.”
“That was quite the stretch. Aigh.”
“Annoy not the medic. Or you'd regret it.” Zecora said, continuing to dab medicine on the wounds. Apple Bloom coughed.
“Brilliant plan Apple Bloom.” Robert nodded. The filly beamed.
---
Seven ponies gathered into the library, chatting amongst themselves. Derpy knew them all by virtue of being the mailpony, as well as an alternate for the games. Robert was late, even though he'd asked them all to be there at noon. He showed up at a quarter past, bearing lunch, and a rapidly growing black eye.
“Robert, darling, what happened?” Rarity asked, horn glowing as she took the food from him.
“I tripped, and hit my head on a post. It's not the first time it's happened, so I'll be fine.” Robert shrugged.
“Head injuries are a serious matter.” Twilight said.
“Maybe I should get you a crash helmet.” Rainbow offered.
“I'm aware of the severity of head injuries, but since it happened as I was leaving the hospital, I had it thoroughly investigated.” Robert smiled.
“Well then, that jus leaves why you called us all here.” Applejack said, leaning against the wall.
“Yeah, we're all Super Duper Excited to find out!” Pinkie said, bouncing in place.
“Yes, we've very interested.” Came Fluttershy's agreement.
“Does it involve muffins?” Derpy asked.
“Potentially.” Robert said. “So, Bon-bon and Lyra have given me two concert tickets to a classical music concert in Canterlot. I've only got two though, so I can only take one of you.” he held up the tickets.
“Count me out.” Pinkie said. “They don't appreciate my style of decorating.” she coughed.”Plus their meany head Do Not Let This Pony In picture didn't get my good side.” she laughed.
“Sorry, I ain't much for classical music.” Applejack admitted. “Thanks for the offer.”
“Same for me.” Rainbow said. “Way too slow. Now if Vinyl Scratch was playing, there I am, but...” she shrugged.
“I'm volunteering to take care of a rare pet that day.” Fluttershy smiled. “Maybe another time.”
“School Play.” Derpy sighed. “Thanks anyway.”
“I too have a play that day.” Rarity sighed. “And a very important client meeting the following day.”
“Well, I'm free.” Twilight said. “I mean... I'd like to be there, but I think I can see the play then teleport to Canterlot. I know the opera building has a teleport destination and Celestia showed me how to use the safety spell.”
“I'd love you to see me off in the morning.” Rarity admitted. “I could probably use the help getting packed.”
“Hmm...” Twilight considered it. “Shouldn't be a problem.”
“Good, I'd hate to not get to say goodbye.” Rarity smiled.
“Well, that was less... annoying than I thought.” Robert admitted with a laugh. “Rarity, do you think you could do me something up to wear?” Applejack grabbed the door frame.
“I thought you'd NEVER ASK.” Rarity swept him out the door. The others, Derpy included, fell to the ground laughing.
---
“No.” Robert shook his head. Sky Blue was not his color, and he disapproved of ruffles on a personal level.
“Agreed.” Rarity said. “Perhaps something darker.” magic flashed.
“Better, but not quite.” The royal blue was nice, but the tassles didn't work. At all.
“Yes, I quite agree.” she nodded. “This is a surprisingly refreshing challenge.” she seemed to be enjoying herself rather thoroughly. “Ah ha!” Another flash of magic. “Perhaps this will meet your standards.”
A sleek black silk coat that ran to his hips, falling down over his shoulders, held by a chest and belly band. A top hat set on his head.
“Very nice. I'm not sure about the Top hat.” Robert admitted, then considered it. “Ah, I know what's missing.” a flash of orange magic, and a silver monocle sat on one eye, the chain running up to clip to the fur below his ear. “Perfect.”
“Indeed.” Rarity laughed. “I think it will do just fine.” light flashed and first his, then her illusions vanished.
“One thing, do you think you could work these in?” Robert produced a pair of drawings from somewhere. One was of two seven pointed stars, linked by a chains to each other and a five pointed star. The other was three lines across a six-toed tiger foot print.
“Hmm... I think so. Just once each?” Rarity asked. Robert nodded. “Simple enough. I should have it ready in an hour or two. Would you be willing to go find Sweetie Belle and bring her back while I work?”
“Anything for my personal tailor.” he bowed. Rarity smiled. It took him the better part of three hours to locate Sweetie Belle. She was not with the other crusaders, meaning the trail of destruction was significantly smaller. When he finally located here, she was in the park, having a picnic. The scent of burnt peanut butter and jelly was as confusing as it was unmistakable.
“There you are.” Robert said, trotting up. Sweetie gave him an amused look.
“I've been here all day.” she said, waving a hoof. “I prefer my weekends to last.” he snorted with laughter at how much she sounded like her sister with that line.
“Well, Rarity sent me to find you.” Robert said.
“And didn't tell you where I was? Probably didn't remember. Typical Rarity.” she rolled her eyes, ate the last of her char coated sandwich and stood up. Her horn flickered to life, and slowly folded the blanket she'd been laying on. She took a deep breath when she was done, and put it in her basket by hoof. She started to pick it up the same, but Robert coughed.
“Allow me.” an orange glow encompassed the basket, and settled it between his shoulders.
“Why can't I do that.” it wasn't a question, not really, just a statement of a seemingly distant dream.
“Because you've not yet grown into your horn.” Robert replied. “Besides, when I first came to town, you'd have done that all by hoof. Now? Now you were able to fold the blanket with your horn. That's quite the improvement.” he smiled as he lead the way to the Boutique.
“I guess, it's just...” she sighed.
“Can't wait to grow up.” Robert nodded. “I certainly remember that feeling. I say this, as all adults do, and which no young one pays attention to: Growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be.”
“You're right, they all say that.” Sweetie giggled.
“That said, magic is something to develop as much as you can. So, how do you do magic?” he asked. She stared at him.
“Don't you know?” she asked, confusion on her face.
“I know how magic is done, and how I do magic. I'm asking how you do it.” he clarified.
“Oh. I just concentrate on what I want to happen. Like the corners of the blanket moving.” she answered.
“Ah. I see.” Robert said nothing for a couple of minutes. “Try something, the next time you use your horn. Don't worry about the details. Instead of trying to move the corner of the blanket, try putting two pictures in your mind. One of the unfolded blanket and then one of the blanket folded, and let your horn do what you want it to.” he suggested.
“What do you mean?” she asked, less confused now.
“Most ponies I've met, and most of the tigers as well, all try to do things by taking control of magic and making it do things for them the way they want it done. I've never found that to be very good of an idea.” Robert shook his head. “As well to tell the grass to grow the way you want.”
“Or tell the sun to move.” Sweetie said. Robert didn't quite fall for it.
“Yeah... well. She's got the special princess hat thingy.” he waved a paw over his head.
“Crown.” Sweetie supplied.
“Yeah, that.” he nodded. “Gotta listen to them with the special hat thingies. It's part of the rules. Would that cork you please?” he suddenly demanded of a pony to the right.
“I'm drinkin' it.” she protested.
“Don't see why you need to. It's getting me drunk jus' standin' 'ere.” he waved a paw in front of his face. The pony glared at him, and stalked away.
“You okay?” Sweetie asked.
“Yeah. Just have a sensitive nose.” Robert replied, scrubbing at it. He shook his head. “Where were we?”
“Special Hat Thingies.” Sweetie answered.
“Oh, right. Well in her case it's a bit of a special thing. I don't quite understand it, but she's basically helping it stay on the right path. Discord kind of broke it when he was in charge all those years ago.” Robert snorted.
“Couldn't he fix it?” Sweetie asked.
“Not really. He's more of a breaker than a fixer. Besides, then Celestia would be out of a job.” Robert chuckled. “What we were talking about is magic. You've been visualizing all the little interm... steps in the middle. Right?” she nodded.
“That's how everypony tells me to do it.” she acknowledged.
“Then it's lucky for you, that I am not every pony.” Robert chuckled. “I tried doing it that way, and it just wouldn't work. So instead I worked out that the magic will do what you want, as long as you know what you want.”
“Really? It's never worked out for me that way.” Sweetie sighed.
“It does take more conviction than doing it the other way, that much I admit.” Robert nodded. “But try it none the less and see if it works for you.”
“What's 'con-vic-tion'?” she asked after a moment.
“Being sure that what you want to happen is going to happen.” he replied. “Just as I am sure that we are going to step into the Boutique.” he pointed at the door. “As soon as you magic the door open.”
“I don't... oh.” she realized it was meant as a test. She hated tests. Then again, this could be interesting. She looked at the door. It was closed tight and wouldn't budge. She worked through the steps to open it. Walk up, push it open, then closed behind her. No. Closed. Open. Just like that.
“Nice work.” Robert said. She blinked. The door was open.
“It worked?” she seemed surprised.
“Absolutely.” she trotted inside. It had worked, to an extent. She'd moved it a good six inches. But he hadn't wanted to destroy her confidence. He followed her inside, and waited. She pushed it closed. It hung part way.
“I opened it all the way, right?” he nodded. “Why won't it close?”
“Probably burned all your energy opening it.” Robert shrugged. “Happens. You'll get stronger the more you practice and then it won't happen. Not as often anyway.”
“Okay.” she trotted up and pushed it the rest of the way. “But that was a lot better wasn't it?”
“Definitely.”
“Robert? Did you find her?” Rarity called from the other room.
“I wasn't lost!” Sweetie said. Then she sighed. “She never listens.”
“What was that?” Rarity asked, obliviously.
“Nothing.” Sweetie shook her head. “Here I am.”
“So you are. Don't you have work to be doing on your play costumes?” Rarity asked. Sweetie gasped.
“I forgot. Thanks Rarity!” the last shouted as she disappeared upstairs.
“Thank you for finding her.” Rarity said with a smile. “I never know where she goes.” Robert decided not to make a comment. “Follow me, I have your clothes finished.” she led him through the Boutique, and into her sewing room.
There, hanging across two Ponikins back to back, was a black silk shirt with flank length tails. On one shoulder was the three star emblem, and on the other the tiger paw with the lines in it. The tips of each tiger claw, and the point of every star had a small, silver set opal sewn in place. The top hat was not quite the right size, though it fit well enough after she took a pair of scissors to the places where his ears collided with the hat brim.
“You look simply marvelous.” she nodded in satisfaction. “You will be the most dashing spectator at the concert, if I do say so myself.”
“Thank you. What do I owe you?” Robert asked. Rarity waved a hoof.
“Consider it a gift.” she said, shrugging.
“I can't take something this nice as a gift.” he shook his head. “Let me pay you.”
“I will not hear of it. Absolutely not.” she crossed her forelegs. Her horn glowed, holding her up right.
“It's too much.” he shook his head.
“It's perfect. Take it.” she demanded, leveling a look at him.
“I will trade it, one favor for another.” Robert offered. Rarity considered it.
“Deal.” she stuck out a hoof. He shook it.
“Thank you. Now, let me fold this up so I don't ruin it before the concert.”
“Just what I was thinking.” Rarity said, as she levitated a perfectly sized box before him.
Chapter 44
The train was waiting for them at the station. Twilight hadn't said anything, but the conductor knew she was going to be on board. And while a princess could be as late as she pleased, no train was going to make her wait because it wasn't on time. And certainly not the train driven by one Justin Time.
Twilight lead the way, her regalia shining. She was less than pleased at having to wear it, but considering she wasn't the only princess who would be attending, she wasn't going to be at anything other than her best. Spike trotted along beside. He'd declined her offer to go in her place, and her second offer to come along. Being a princess had it' privileges and getting a seat for one more was among them. He'd begged off by saying he had to organize the organizational charts, an excuse she wouldn't catch for another several hours. Robert was wearing his jacket, but his top hat was tucked away in a box on his back. He didn't want to risk damaging it before they arrived. The train was cut down to just the engine, coal car, and the passenger car. It was technically an express, but in this instance it was classified as Twilight's Personal Transport. A seemingly insignificant designation, but one that allowed it priority to it's destination. If she'd known, she'd have been thoroughly embarrassed. This was why Celestia had ordered no one to tell her. The pair boarded the train, followed by an embarrassed Bon-bon. Particularly when the conductor, not entirely sure of the normal protocol, used her legal name of Sweetie Drops. She turned a bright red.
“All aboard!” he called out the window. The conductor in the locomotive grinned, and blew the whistle.
“So...” Twilight said, after ten minutes of silence. “Anyone know any good jokes?”
“No.”
“Want to hear the history of jokes?” she asked.
“NO.”
“Just asked.” she turned to the window.
“Sorry. I'm just a little nervous. Lyra's never preformed this song in public on an instrument she just learned.” Bon-bon shook her head. “I don't know what she was thinking, but I didn't want to break her confidence...”
“It's okay.” Twilight smiled. “How did you two meet?”
“Oh, well, she picked me up in Canterlot actually.” Bon-bon smiled, thankful for the memory. “I was there learning from a master candy maker. I'd gotten my cutie mark in Fillydelphia, but all the best candy makers are in Canterlot. So my parent's had gotten me an apprenticeship there. Smooth Taste, if you ever have the chance, makes the best mints I have ever tasted. And I have tasted quite a lot of mints. For one reason or another, they're Lyra's favorite flavor of candy, and he happened to make the best. Some people don't like mints, but mostly it's because they haven't had his. Then again, after you've had his, the rest of them don't ever taste quite right.” she chuckled.
“Anyway, one day, I was running the front counter. Smooth was in the back, doing some of his culinary research. That's what he called it. Mostly he was eating lunch, but I liked working the counter. Making sweets is fun, but selling them is where I really excel.” Robert made a disgusted noise. “Not everyone has the talent.”
“Some of us just suck at it.” Robert chuckled.
“Wait, she roped you in to?” Twilight asked.
“I've roped most of the town in by now. One way or another, everyone takes a shot. Of course in Caramel's case, he spent all day taking shots. Not a one paid off.” she grinned. “Anyway, I was working the front counter, when in comes Lyra. She's got her lyre hung over her back, and that grin on her face. I knew she was going to be trouble from day one. Worst of all, you know how to meet a new unicorn, and you don't find out their special spell right away?” Twilight nodded. Robert shrugged. He didn't know that.
“Not Lyra. Oh no. She walks in, munching on a donut of all things.” Bon-bon shook her head.
“Donut Joe's Mint Jelly.” Twilight flicked a glance around at the empty cart as she wiped drool away.
“They are to die for.” Bon-bon admitted. “I found out later that Smooth Taste makes the jelly that Joe uses. Of course I didn't know it then. I'm all set to yell at her for bringing in someone else's food, when Smooth walks out, and comes right up to her like his long-lost daughter. He tells me to get her whatever she needs and disappears into the back room. So I'm left with this weird, wayward unicorn, treated like a favorite daughter. The first thing she asks me? 'Got any mint?' That's his specialty. The thing he make more than anything else.” she shook her head.
“So not love at first sight?” Twilight asked.
“Your sister-in-law would have needed some serious backup. So no, no love at first sight. But she kept coming back, and a couple of times she didn't buy anything. So I asked her what she wanted that we didn't seem to have.” Bon-bon paused, a smile on her face.
“And she said what?” Twilight prompted, noticing they were nearly there.
“A list of what you're doing after work.” Bon-bon laughed. “The weirdest way I've been asked out, but as you can see, it worked.” she grinned.
“No pony ever asks my after work schedule.” Twilight pouted.
“Because they know. The same thing you do during your work hours.” Bon-bon laughed.
“Organizing the books.” the other two said in chorus, causing Twilight to blush.
---
The seats were surprisingly good. Instead of being down in the back row, as Robert had expected, they were ushered up into the boxes surrounding the edges of the theater. In fact they were only two boxes away from Celestia and Luna. Twilight excused herself to say hello before the show started. She came back just before the show began.
“Luna says hello.” Twilight told him, as she settled on her bench.
“Glad to hear it.” he replied.
“They've invited us to join them after the show. They're hosting a dinner for the performers.” Twilight informed him. “I can't be there long if I'm going to get home and be awake to help Rarity go.”
“No worries. I'll bet they'll understand. Just make an appearance, have a word with the performers, and then leave. If anyone asks I'll tell them you had important princess stuff to do. Like filing your crown, and polishing your books.” It took her a moment to catch on.
“Don't do that, or I'll never hear the end of it.” she laughed.
“Where would you file it? C for Crown? T for Tiara? Or perhaps G for Gold?” he asked curiously.
Twilight opened her mouth to answer, but the curtain began to lift. “M for Mine.” she whispered, then concentrated on the stage.
“Mares and gentlecolts, it is my pleasure and honor to be tonight's master of ceremonies.” Fancy Pants horn glowed faintly as he projected his voice out over the seats of the concert hall. “Our first performer tonight is a violist from Manehattan. Please welcome Silver Strings.” hooves thudded applause as a silver coated unicorn came out, and began to play. He was good, no doubt about it, but up in the seats, the pair had to keep waking one another up.
“No more.” Twilight whispered at one point. Ellegies were fine at funerals or somber events, but terrible for staying awake. She glanced toward Celestia and found she was sleeping. Not many ponies would have been able to tell the difference, but Twilight had given enough boring lectures in her time to recognize when her mentor was doing her 'sleeping with eyes open' technique. Finally, the interminable songs came to an end, and Fancy returned to the stage, not bothering to hide a yawn.
“Pardon me, but I have been staying up late recently. Organizing such a riveting concert takes considerable effort.” he said, clearly making things up on the fly. “Our next performer is... Miss Lyra Heartstrings of Ponyville.” the applause was much weaker this time, more of the audience being awoken by it's sound than participating in it.
Lyra appeared on stage, and settled herself. Several members recognized her from other events, and perked their heads up. They were more than a little startled when she did not produce her lyre, but instead pulled out the flute she'd practiced with. Twilight saw a handful of griffons in the box between her and the royal sisters perk up.
“This mares and gentlecolts, is a commissioned composition. Gene Wildhen has graciously granted permission for me to play it.” she closed her eyes, and her horn glowed. Hands reached up and formed, grasping the flute. She lifted it to her mouth. The first notes came out slow, searching, and parts of the audience adjusted themselves for another nap. Then the song began to rise, increasing in pitch and tempo, until the song began to soar. Note after note, faster and faster until it reached a crescendo. Then it came almost, but not quite to a stop, then fell down. It began to build speed now, then the song changed, shifting direction somehow. On and on it continued. Eventually it slowed, then at the last instant, the notes played again, in a precise reversal of those that preceded, then the song had one last beat, and stopped. For a moment, the hall was silent, then applause flooded the place.
Twilight even noticed the princesses applauding enthusiastically. She added hers. She flicked a glance at Robert beside her, who'd been silent the entire time. He seemed to still be listening to the melody, swaying gently back and forth.
Two more performers came out. One with a Guitar, and one with a set of drums. The former reminded her of Applejack and she was later completely unsurprised to learn that it was a distant relative. The latter she had no frame of reference for, but she did know one thing. She was not a fan. Worse, it was another slow melody, which meant that half the place was falling asleep, when it suddenly turned into something hard and driving, and woke them up. It would have been clever, had it not been in the middle of a night concert. As it was, it was a miracle that the poor stallion wasn't driven off the stage.
Fancy Pants came back to the stage. “And that was Dingo Stars with a drum solo.” he shook his head. “Now for the main event you've been waiting all night for, Miss Octavia Melody.” the gray coated earth pony cellist took the stage, thanking both Fancy Pants for his introduction, and the stage hand for bringing out her cello. She sat and took a moment to tune the instrument, then looked out over the audience. Then she picked up her bow, and began to play. Her first song was surprisingly lively, and lightened the mood considerably. She played for what seemed like hours, before stopping.
Robert had been listening to the music as the first few musicians played. He had expected to do the same when Octavia began to play. But his eyes opened as he began her first song. He watched, for most of that song. He could feel magic resonating in time with her bow. During the second song, he invoked his sight, and realized he was wrong. The magic wasn't just resonating. It was coming from the music. The act of playing was generating music. He listened through the rest of the music, even though it made his fangs ache to be channeling magic. He could understand her popularity now. But he couldn't say for certain if he was correct. Then she presented an opportunity.
“I am informed that I have time for one more song. I have not prepared anything, so I am willing to take a request.”
“Moonlight Serenade.” Robert's voice was crystal clear over the crowd, magic lacing it. She knew the song, naturally. Every pony in Equestria knew the song though not all of them would understand why. The afficiandoes in the room, and the Twilight Sparkles would, and would also understand why it had spent more than a thousand years under a moratorium. It was the Equestrian national anthem, Ode to the Sun, but played two notes lower, and at one quarter the speed. While the Ode had words, written after the fact, Moonlight Serenade did not.
Twilight stared at Robert as if insanity had gripped him. Octavia stared at him for a moment, then looked askance at Princess Celestia. For a moment, nothing happened, then Celestia nodded almost imperceptibly, visible only to Octavia. And certainly not to her sister, who's rapt attention was held only by Octavia. The cellist spent a moment, tuning her instrument. Then she lay her bow on the strings, took a breath, and began.
From the first note it was clear that this song was not like any of the others, even Lyra's soaring composition. Magic sang in the air as she played. Yet it was not merely the sound. It was the way she played. The song was intended to be slow. Adagio to Ode's Allegro. Yet she played even slower. While it was meant to be a serenade celebrating the night's beauty, Octavia played it as a love ballad. Those who were not lost already in the song noticed a flickering around the room. The glow of unicorn horns sparking spontaneously to life. Pegasus wings fluttered, itching to be in the air, feeling and manipulating the air currents. Earth pony hooves sought the ground, the few there found themselves standing without really understanding why. The longer the song went the stronger the feeling became, horns flaring with unnoticed light as all present were lost in the song. The song lasted until long after the intended end of the concert, until one final note hung for minutes in the air. There was no dry eye in the house, not even the princess of the sun immune to it, though she was stoic even in that. Luna wept, head buried in her sister's shoulder. Up on the stage, Octavia collapsed, caught by a quick to recover Fancy Pants. She lay on the stage, panting from the exertion.
Twilight looked to Robert, as she rubbed her own tears. His fur was matted down, and darkened until it looked as though he'd been crying blood. “What was that?” she asked, throat dry, and voice rough.
“The power...” he swallowed. “The Power of a True Bard.” he answered.
---
“You felt it as well?” Celestia asked the pair as the four of them approached the dressing room.
“How could we not?” Twilight asked.
“I have not felt such power in ages.” Luna admitted. “Even before my exile.”
“They are rare.” Celestia admitted.
“What is?” Twilight asked.
“True Bards.” Celestia replied. “Unicorns, and Alicorns use magic directly.” her horn flickered. “Pegasi use it in their own way.” her wings fluttered. “And Earth ponies are connected to magic through the ground itself.” she flexed her legs. “But magic is something which while it cannot be used up per say, does slowly get absorbed into objects.”
“I know that.” Twilight nodded. “So?”
“Bards, or rather those who have bardic talent, create magic. Whether through art, or storytelling, or music. As they create, sculpt or play, magic is generated. While there are many with talent, there are few True Bards. Most bards must create something original to make new magic. True Bards must simply feel what they are doing. We have seen one such tonight.”
“Octavia?” Twilight asked. Celestia nodded. “Does she know?”
“I highly doubt it. Let us inform her.” she reached out, and tapped against the door.
“I'm not doing autographs tonight. The manager will give you a voucher.” came a female voice from behind the door. It sounded tired.
“I am not here for an autograph.” Celestia answered. There was a crash, and a moment later, a slightly disheveled and still tired looking Octavia appeared behind the open door.
“I'm sorry Princess, I thought you were... never mind. Come in, please.” she backed up and let three princesses into her room. Robert stuck his head in, and looked around.
“I will wait in the hall, and keep away interrupters.” he closed the door behind him. Octavia, suddenly aware she was in the presence of a perhaps overwhelming amount of royalty, collapsed back to the couch.
“I am sorry.” she managed after a moment.
“For what?” Twilight asked.
“The song. I thought you said it was okay.” she looked at Celestia.
“I did. That is not why we are here. Not precisely.” Celestia paused.
“Sister? What is she talking about?” Luna asked.
“For the thousand years of your exile, I asked no one play Moonlight Serenade. I was too saddened at your loss to hear it without breaking down. And I wanted very much to be strong for them.” Celestia admitted. “Octavia is the first pony in a thousand years to play the song.”
“Oh, sister.” Luna leaned against Celestia for a moment. “Thank you Octavia, for playing our song so beautifully.”
“You are welcome your highness. If you are not angry, then why are you here?” the cellist asked.
“The song is the reason. You were asked to play because the song was written not long after the founding to be played by bards. It's melody was chosen to maximize their potential to create. To create the magic we used to forge Equestria.” Celestia replied. Then she explained about bards.
“You think I'm one? What does that mean?” Octavia paused. “Talent... you mean?”
“No.” Celestia shook her head. “Your talent is because you were meant to be a musician. Your skill is because you practice and practice well. Bards are rare, True Bards rarer still. Star swirl studied them, and still we know no more than he did. Whether you were destined to be a bard, or if your talent simply drew the gift to you, we cannot know.” Celestia sighed. “But we are glad to know the gift has not faded away.”
“So what does this mean?” Octavia asked. “Do I need to do anything?”
“Simply continue to play.” Celestia answered. “As you play, you make new magic, and renew what has been absorbed into the world.”
“Be proud Octavia Melody. You have dreamed of making a contribution to Equestria and you have succeeded.” Luna smiled. Octavia started.
“That was you, in the night mare.” Luna nodded. The others waited. “I had a nightmare, that I was laughed out of the music hall for not playing anything new. I play, but I'm not a composer. I simply have to put my own touch on music. Luna appeared, and broke the grip of the nightmare. I never thought...”
“You are welcome.” Luna said. “Come, let us leave her to her rest.” They started towards the door.
“Princess?” Octavia paused, unsure who to ask. “Will this always leave me drained?”
“No. Each time the effects will be less as your gift strengthens. For now it is new and wild and so it saps your strength more because it does not know it. Eventually it will become no more than another part of the normal exhaustion of having played.” Celestia replied. “Do not worry.”
“Thank you.”
Chapter 45
Twilight said her farewells, and caught the train back to Ponyville. Robert stayed in Canterlot. The princesses returned to the castle, and he found himself at a bit of a loss. Unicorns being what they are, bars are not particularly common, and after the concert, he did not feel up to a nightclub. The 'music' in them always hurt his ears. Which led to considerable surprise when he bumped into Vinyl Scratch outside a normal bar.
“Hello.” he said. She stared at him for a moment.
“Hello. Do I know you? I'm certain I never forget a face. Not when I'm sober at least.” she stared at him.
“Pinkie introduced us.” he said patiently.
“Oh right, Robbie right?” Vinyl asked.
“Close enough.” he sighed. “What are you doing here? This isn't your typical venue.”
“Hah, I'm not playin' tonight. Caught the concert and figured I'd get stinkin' drunk and forget about how good it was. Care to join me?”
“Why not.” Robert shrugged.
---
Twilight arrived in Canterlot just after noon. The guards bowed, and showed her to central booking. “Care to explain?” she asked Robert, as he was escorted out.
“It's all her fault?” he said hopefully, pointing at Vinyl, who was being bailed out by Octavia, who was busy speaking with one of the guards. It was not the first time she'd been there, and knew the guard personally.
“Hey, I'm not the one who couldn't keep his mouth shut.” Vinyl retorted. Octavia laughed.
“Who threw the first punch, screaming about Luna's honor?” Robert demanded. Twilight raised an eyebrow.
“How was I to know that was the High Shadovar?” she snapped. Twilight's eyes widened.
“Wasn't me telling you to leave the High Shadovar alone enough?” Robert asked.
“I never listen to people telling me things!” Vinyl answered. Octavia snorted. Twilight's horn flashed once.
“You started a fight with the Shadovars?” she demanded in the sudden silence.
“I didn't start anything.” Robert replied, clearly offended. “I just tried to finish it. Would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for them being freakishly strong.” Twilight stared. “I don't think anyone would have called the guards if they hadn't thrown us over the bar.”
“Us? I seem to remember you going over clearly enough.” Vinyl snorted.
“I didn't get stabbed in the ass by a Pegasus.” Robert turned, revealing a stab wound in his right hindquarter. “If the horn fits, you must have flown.” Vinyl flushed brilliantly.
“Ugh.” Twilight threw her hooves up in the air for a moment. “Come on, let's go.”
“Thanks.” Robert said, as they exited the guard house.
“For what?” Twilight asked. “Bailing you out?”
“Yes.” he answered. “And for not being too upset about it.”
“Oh, I'm definitely upset.” she shook her head. “What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I wanted to have a nice quiet drink. I didn't realize I was going to have to fight half the bar because the pony I went drinking with had a big mouth.” Robert grumbled.
“I thought you'd have known better.” Twilight said.
“She said she was a friend of Octavia's. I thought that meant she had sense and good judgment.”
“Oh please, I'm friends with Rainbow Dash.” Twilight shook her head. “Sense and judgment don't mean anything.”
“Well ouch.” Robert said, leaning away. “I presume there's some distaste for me there as well?”
“I don't think you want to hear that.” Twilight replied, looking away.
“We cannot grow and change if we are not made aware of our own shortcomings.” he shrugged.
“You're arrogant for one thing. You're also a show off. And have you ever failed? At all?” she demanded.
“I fail often, and many would wish to define me only by my failings. I am arrogant. I am big and strong. Most would call that arrogance enough. But I am arrogant because I do not accept that I should be anything less than my best. I might fail, but I will continue to try. If one thing does not work, I simply move on to the next. I do not forget my failures, but I do not dwell on them either.” he drew himself up. “I am a show off. What skills I have are hard learned, and fought for tooth and claw. Do you hide your wings? Your horn? I have heard the stories of the first time Trixie visited Ponyville. Have I not learned her lesson? Do I boast of things I cannot accomplish?”
“I was born with my horn. And I earned my wings.” she replied. “But I take your meaning.”
“I do try to be humble. To not deny others a chance in the spotlight. If I should outshine them, it is not because they did not shine at all. I know my place, my path, and my destiny. I do not begrudge others theirs.” he sighed. “I didn't want to be a Shaman. Did I mention that?”
“I think so.” Twilight said.
“I wanted to be a warrior. Like my mother, and my father, and all my brothers. Even my sister. I spent days railing against my fate when I learned I was to be a Shaman. I didn't want it.” his head drooped.
“I didn't want to be a princess. Not after that first rush of excitement. I asked Celestia if she could undo it.” Twilight sat down.
“What did she say?” he asked.
“That she couldn't but I could. She even showed me the spell.” Twilight smiled at the memory. “I spent hours staring at it, trying to decide. Luna came and talked to me. So did Cadence. Neither one of them even mentioned it. We just talked. Celestia came back later. She brought tea.”
“I see you decided not to cast it.” Robert said.
“No, I didn't. It was Luna that made up my mind though.” Twilight said. “She told me that the spell was my choice. That destiny wanted one thing for me. And that if I didn't want it, I could cast that spell and change it. I realized that I did have a choice, that even though I was given these?” she ruffled her wings. “I still had the option to say no. It meant I wasn't trapped, and that was something I never wanted.” she smiled. “What about you?”
“Dawn-seer. I went to him and told him I didn't want to be a Shaman. I wanted to be a warrior to defend the tribe. He asked my why I thought I couldn't do that if I was a Shaman. Then he gave me my first lesson. I've mentioned I'm not a Dreamwalker right?”
“Yeah, you've said that.” Twilight asked. “What does that mean?”
“It means that I can't enter the dreams of others on purpose, and even if I do end up there, I can't change anything. I can only control my own, and only with considerable effort. Anyway, he took me into a dream world, and we saw griffons under attack by dragons. He showed me how to help defeat them.” Robert smiled at the memory. “When we returned, he told me that I was still a warrior, just defending from a different kind of threat. I'd never thought about Shamans as any kind of warrior. It made me feel better.”
“I think we missed the train.” Twilight said, watching smoke disappear down the tracks.
“It's okay. I don't really feel like a train ride. Too much moving.” Robert said, and then threw up.
---
“Oh, yes, flying is much better on an empty stomach.” Robert said, as they winged south to Ponyville.
“We should probably have stopped to apologize to the two you threw up on back there.” Twilight called over the wind.
“They should be honored. I don't vomit on just any pony.” Robert answered indignantly. “Besides, I think I mostly missed. It's hard to tell though. That one was already lime green.”
“That's disgusting. What were you drinking?” she asked.
“Lime tequila. A lot of it I think.” he answered. “Hence the green.”
“I see.” Twilight said, shaking her head. Ponyville hove into view. “What on earth?” she back winged into a hover. Robert saw her stop, twisted his wings and swept around.
“What's the matter?” he asked.
“That tent looks familiar.” she said, and tipped forward. She swept downwards, and caught up to Applejack as she was leaving. Robert shrugged, and continued towards town. Derpy was just starting her route when he landed outside the post office.
“Morning!” she said cheerfully, shifting her bag.
“Morning.” he replied. “Setting out?”
“Yep, on my way in about five minutes. They're looking for a package.” she grinned. “Where were you?”
“Went to Canterlot, got drunk, got tossed in the hoosegow.” she paused a moment, processing the statement.
“Why were you in jail?” she asked.
“Ever met Pinkie's pal Vinyl Scratch?” Robert asked. Derpy laughed maniacally.
“You poor, poor fool. No one goes drinking with Vinyl Scratch and avoids going to jail.” she continued to laugh even as Special Delivery, the package handler brought her the package. He raised an eyebrow. She explained. He started laughing as well.
“Thanks.” Robert said, swished his tail and went into the post office. There were two jobs on the wall. One to Manehattan, wanting the fastest delivery possible, and one heavy load to Vanhoover. He plucked the Vanhoover ticket and took it to the desk.
“'s a big job.” Long Division said. “Eighty pounds of precious gems. Normally it'd go on the train, but it's a big rush job. Gotta be there in two days.” he flicked through the papers. “Here we go. The college there wants them for something. Do you think you can do it? Boss's been getting' antsy about getting them out of here.” he glanced over his shoulder at the door to Poste Haste's office. The stallion inside was scribbling on paperwork, moving from page to page, possibly without reading them, possibly assembling a flip book. There certainly looked to be enough paper for the job in his office.
“It always that bad?” Robert asked.
“Nah. It's worse around the holidays.” Long Division shook his head.
“Well, I don't have a problem with the weight, and I've never actually been to Vanhoover so it'll be an interesting experience. That said, I've never been there, so if you've got a map...”
“Trust me, to get those out of here, the boss will draw you one by hoof if he has too.” Long division laughed.
---
Robert shifted the weight carefully. “Seems balanced. I'll have to check it in the air, but I shouldn't have a problem.”
“Just take care. These things are worth a fortune.” Long Division said.
“Pillow cut fire agates? You bet. Good thing we didn't have a unicorn load them. One wrong spark of magic, and we'd have to start the town over again.” Robert shook his head. “Good thing you didn't send them on the train.”
“They're that dangerous?” the earth pony asked, backing up slightly.
“Only if you don't know what you're doing. That's why I insisted on having the unicorns out of the room when I saw the box.” Robert replied.
“Are you going to be okay?” the earth pony asked.
“Probably. If not, I'll never know it.” Robert smiled grimly. “Wish me luck.”
“Good luck, you'll need all you can get.” Long Division laughed. “Seriously take care.”
“I fully intend to.” Robert said, then he spread his wings. He took a few steps, built up momentum, then threw himself into the air. The weight was more than he had anticipated, but after the second bounce, he got enough lift to get truly airborne Vanhoover's flight path took him over Sweet Apple Acres, where he saw the Apples knocking a tree into the water. He shook his head, and kept flying. Wings cut through the air as he swept north. The Unicorn mountains came into view not long after he left the demesne of Ponyville. Technically, he figured that these were part of the white-tail woods, though he couldn't be sure. Most of the maps he'd seen didn't get that specific. Of course it didn't necessarily matter, but he liked to know where he was. It was noon when he crossed into the mountain range proper. A jagged edged peak was the first place he saw that qualified as a mountain even in technical terms. For a moment, he couldn't explain the jagged edge, then he hove closer to it. There, lying at the base of the mountain was what he knew instinctively was the peak of the mountain. It looked almost possible to land on it, though he decided not to try until he was on the return trip. The gems would probably not appreciate him slipping and falling and landing on top of them. He wouldn't be pleased either, for the few seconds before they exploded.
Climbing up to avoid the hazardous winds sure to swirl around the peaks, he continued north west, cutting across the mountains like the birds that surrounded him. He was no Fluttershy, but still he knew the habits of birds and so long as they did not scatter, he was largely safe. More mountains came within view, taller still than those he'd seen before. The birds swept north to slip around them. Robert considered their path, and decided against it. Yet he could not climb above them. Instead he turned south, slipping through the upper peaks. The mountain tops grew closer and closer together until they fused into one huge mountainous ridge. Wings stretched for balance, Robert all but landed, instead skipping paw to paw and gliding from touch to touch across the narrow ridge. Rocks slipped and gave way, but each time a wing beat lifted him and set him on his way.
It was just approaching sunset when Robert reached the northern edge of the mountains. A small hamlet below was just lighting the town square, lamps igniting from the center out. He spread his wings fully again, and swooped down, landing on the road leading into town. To say that he was the center of attention of the town as he walked in, was an understatement. Several ponies half started to run when they saw him, others shuffled colts and fillies behind them. One or two guards appeared.
“What do you want?” one of them asked, hammer hooves clicking on the ground.
“Just looking for a place to spend the night.” Robert asked, shifting his weight. “Guess this isn't it.” he started backing away. The presence of the guards was not lost on him. He did not intend on turning until he was well out of town, but a smirk on the face of one guard caused him to stop. The wind was coming behind him, and he sniffed. Two more, both earth ponies. Not wearing hammer hooves, or extremely good at walking with them. Change of tactic then. Robert took a half step backwards, then lunged forward. The ponies started, and tried to fall back. He couldn't fight with the weight on his back and turning was going to be a challenge. But Twilight wasn't the only pony he'd learned from, and an illusion leaped into the air, claws spread, jaws wide as he jerked to a stop under a cloak of invisibility. Turning, he leaped from the ground, and caught the wall of a building, claws digging in as he drug himself to the roof.
“Find him!” one of the guards called out. “He's got to still be here somewhere.” the others fanned out. Robert watched them from the roof. Not a single pegasus, or unicorn among them. An earth pony town then. He smiled to himself. A few hundred years ago, the report of such a settlement would have sent a tiger tribe into a tizzy preparing for a feast. Now though, it simply let him know that he was in a town which did not tolerate strangeness or outsiders.
“How did it get away?” he heard one of the residents ask.
“Some kind of magic. Probably has a unicorn partner around, if it wasn't one in disguise itself.” another answered, the light from their lantern bobbing as they walked.
“Had to be a unicorn. It would have eaten any 'partner' long before it got here.” the first one said.
He considered dropping onto the pair and teaching them a lesson, but some little voice in his head warned him against it. A moment later the quiet clicking of two pairs of hammer hooves showed him he was right. He waited until they died away, then rose. The leap from house to house was tiny compared to what he was used to, and not even the shifting of the stones on his back gave him away. He circled the outskirts of the town, moving roof to roof until he was on the north west side. There was one minor problem he discovered.
Out in the field were a number of lanterns he hadn't seen coming into town and which he now suspected were only lit when they had 'prey' inside the circle. A number of earth ponies held crossbows. He certainly wasn't interested in crossing that distance with it lit. On the ground or in the air he was a pretty big target. Wind magic was not his specialty, so what he attempted cost him more energy than he anticipated. Far back in the woods, he reached, magic guiding his awareness, until he reached the edge of the mountains. Wind fell off them, propelled by the sheer cliffs above. A wall of energy cut the wind, sending some of it whipping down the path towards the town. Magic suffused the wind, making it glow with a faint yellow tinge. Changing the color of magic is no mean feat, but it was another skill he'd learned.
By the time the wind hit the town it was lessened some from the howling gale it had been at the base of the mountains, but it was still enough for his needs. The glowing yellow wind shattered as it reached the edge of town, blowing out lanterns and candles as it went. The cold air sliced through the armor and clothing of the residents and guards, chilling them as though somepony had crossed their graves. Fear could be a powerful motivator, and cold was a powerful progenitor of fear. The wind swept through them, inspiring terror as to what else could happen through the night. It cut through town, putting out ever lantern and candle it could find, then it swept away to the north east, leaving a clear trail for any who wanted to follow. Some did. Others spread out to cover those that had moved to follow, and still others tried to relight their lanterns.
Robert leaped, wings spread and sailed over the heads of those between him and escape. Out of town, he kept away from the road, and moved through the woods. Once he was convinced he was far enough away from town, he found a tree, and lay out on one of the branches. Before he slept, he reached out, and lay a ward, stretched across the ground in a circle first, then woven up into a web that formed a dome. Anything that crossed would alert him. He lay his head down and went to sleep.
Chapter 46
The ward remained uncrossed until the next morning, and as a consequence, he did not awaken until after sunrise. He blinked, then nearly fell from the tree. He caught the trunk with one hind foot, then pulled himself back upright. He saw the position of the sun in the sky, and swore. The ward he dispersed by pulling a single thread of the complex weaving, and let it dissolve in the morning sun. He dropped thirty feet from the tree, landing on top of an unsuspecting and deeply surprised rabbit. It didn't remain surprised long. While it wasn't the meal he would have liked, it would suffice for the time being. He trotted to the edge of the forest, looked for signs of pursuit, and then spread his wings and took to the skies.
Cutting through the skies, he found the rail road running below. He swung west and followed it, wings beating quickly to keep up the time he had gained by going over the mountains. The split to Vanhoover from the ground appeared to descend two separate paths, but from the air, one could clearly see the tops of the sky scrapers. The trains would have to cross more low lands and skirt another mountain range to reach the city. Yet Robert was no train, and he aimed straight for the land marks ahead. Long sweeping dives and hard climbs gave him more go than just flapping, dives giving him a chance to rest as he traded speed for altitude. Just before noon, he landed on a snow swept mountain top to rest for a few minutes. Nowhere near so high as the mountains on the eastern coast, snow still capped the mountain on which he stood. Vanhoover was quite the impressive city, one to rival Canterlot, if not Manehattan. The traffic pattern over the city was surprisingly light. As he approached, the cold air whipping between the buildings explained why. Winging in to the landing zone, he asked the customs official for directions to the university. Naturally, it was on the other side of the city. Robert sighed. There was only one thing to do.
“TAXI!” Having lungs bigger than most ponies is quite the help when attempting to hail a cab. On stopped and he slipped inside. “Double your usual rate to get me to the University's High Energy Research building before five o'clock.”
“Hold on tight.” The earth pony said. Robert did. The pony took too steps then broke into a full canter. After a couple of close calls, and two-wheeled corners, he grabbed hold with his claws, pulling himself tight to the floor of the carriage. It rounded another corner, and he saw a bridge ahead. The draw bridge was rising, and Robert closed his eyes. The next moment, they were in the air, sailing between the two halves of the bridge, and then they were landing on the far side.
The first thing Robert did on arrival was to stumble off the cart, and be heartily sick in the bushes. He righted himself after a couple of moments, and came back. The box of gems landed gently on the ground, and he kept one eye on it as he moved around front. “So what's the damage?” the driver told him. Robert goggled. “Okay, fair enough.” he counted it out. “Note to self, demand larger denomination currency when getting paid.”
“Tell me about it.” the taxi driver said, lowering the bits into a safe in the front of the cart. “Need anything else?”
“No thanks.” Robert shook his head. Then he hefted the box of gems into place, and trotted into the building. The guard in the lobby stared at him as he walked up to the desk. “Delivery.” he dug out the paper with the instructions for delivery, and passed it over. The guard scanned it, then nodded.
“Wait over there a moment.” he stood and trotted to a speaking tube set into the wall. Robert settled down on the bench along the wall and was greeted shortly by the sight of a short, pudgy unicorn with a wizard's hat cutie mark coming out of the halls behind the desk. “The tiger there Professor Stibbons.” the guard pointed helpfully when the professor scanned the entry way blankly.
“Oh of course, quite right.” the unicorn, who appeared to be an adult snails aside from being rather brilliantly blue walked across the lobby to Robert. “Hello, I am informed you have my Fire Agates?”
“Yes sir.” Robert nodded.
“Jolly Good, follow me.” The unicorn led him back towards the desk. The guard sighed, and intercepted them.
“Professor, no visitors. You know the orders. Too dangerous back there for the untrained.” 'or the trained' he muttered under his breath.
“Pish tosh. I am in charge of the building. I can allow anyone I wish in. If the Archchancellor wishes to argue the point I shall see him in my office.” he pushed past the guard who looked helplessly at Robert, but waved him through. Robert flicked the guard a bit as he went.
“I know all about these types. Don't worry, I'll try not to blow up the building.” he said comfortingly.
“It's not the building I'm worried about.” the guard replied, and sat down, putting a helmet on.
---
The professor led him surprisingly deep into the building. Robert did a calculation, and realized either the building was bigger than it looked, or magic was bending the laws of nature here. After the second time his 'guide' opened a door that showed Cerberus guarding the portal to Tartarus, he decided it was the latter. Finally a door yielded the correct room and the professor ushered him in. A group of students was huddled around a table, and another group was huddled behind a protective bunker.
“Quick professor!” one of them behind the bunker yelled. The professor paused, then yelped. Robert had been near quite enough magical explosions to last him a lifetime or two and he simply shoved the professor ahead of him.
“What's going on?” Stibbons demanded of the students.
“Professor Dean is at it again.” the one who'd called out said, an instant before a unicorn head poked up from the huddle at the front.
“I've got it this...” magic exploded out from the middle of the huddle, throwing students and what Robert presumed was Professor Dean, helter skelter around the room. The blast wave slammed not into the bunker, but a honeycombed barrier in front of it. Each cell was a different and frequently clashing color of magic. Rarity would have called it a travesty. It dissipated as the blast wave did, and the smoke began to clear. Professor Stibbons let out a groan and Robert glanced at him. He was no longer bright blue, but now a Metallic Pink to make Pinkie envious.
“Not again.” he moaned. “Every time.”
“I'll get the first aid kit.” one of the unicorns volunteered and disappeared through the door way. She returned instantly, as if she'd never left, and looked at the room. “Oh no, not time dilation again.” she turned and trotted to the professor lying against the wall, unconscious but alive.
“Oh, well, who's turn is it to pull the lever?” Stibbons asked, stuffing in an unnecessary a into the word. Two students began fighting. He rolled his eyes.
“What lever?” Robert asked. The unicorn didn't hear him and neither did one of those outside the bunker. One of them sparked up her horn and the magic went out of control. The minor explosion turned Stibbons into a deep midnight purple, much to his relief.
“Right, let's not try that again shall we?” he said, administering to the now comatose unicorn.
“I presume things like this happen often?” Robert asked.
“All the time, all the price of doing magical research.” Stibbons replied. “I say, do you know anything about non-magical healing?”
“A little.” Robert replied. “I know it is less than ideal compared to magic. And it hurts. What can I do?” he knelt and helped the professor as the two students stopped fighting and disappeared through the door. Several minutes later, there was a hissing sound and purple gas dispersed through the building. Mundane in nature it soaked up excess magic and stored it away in tanks in the basement.
“There, that should be good enough until the nurses can find us.” Stibbons said. “If you'll set those down in the safe there, I'll sign your paperwork and you can flee to safety.” Robert chuckled, and slid the box into the magic proof safe. Of course, it was also proof against most other things, weighing several tons. The professor shut the door, and presented him the papers.
“Thank you. Need anything else before I go?” Robert asked. The professor shook his head.
“No thanks, I have enough 'professionals' messing about.” The professor escorted him out, getting lost only once on the way.
The guard was still behind his desk, still wearing his helmet. He quacked as they walked past. Stibbons sighed. “Not again.” then he turned back to deal with the latest disaster.
Robert, now freed of his burden, took a good look at the city. Compared to Manehattan, it didn't seem impressive at first glance, but a second look showed it beautiful for it's own merits. A classical theater, a massive art gallery, and now that the sun was falling in the sky, a night life that was hard to believe.
The hardest part however, was finding a hotel that was not filled. Wings or no, finding a place to park for the night was more difficult than finding an honest politician. Finally he gave up, and found a night club. The hard, driving beat of the music wasn't a lullaby, but after a few drinks it didn't really matter. Eventually he was thrown out, but by then it was nearly morning. He staggered out into the early morning, just as the moon was falling towards the horizon. Stumbling towards the train station, he found his path blocked by a rather large earth pony stallion.
“Hand over you bits.” the voice rumbled, sounding as though it came from the bottom of a cave in the pits of Tartarus.
“No.” Robert replied.
“Okay then.” the stallion started to step aside. There was a noise as a hoof hit a face.
“No, you idiot. When they say no you threaten them.” said a voice from behind him.
“Hand over you bits or else.” the stallion said, not terribly convinced he knew what 'or else' was.
“No.” Robert replied.
“Look, my friend isn't very smart, but he's big and strong, give us your money or he'll pounds ya.” said a lanky unicorn, stepping out behind the earth pony.
“Listen. I'm sure you're an exceptional criminal duo, and I'm probably supposed to be quaking in my boots. The trouble is that I've had a long night, I have a crick in my neck from sleeping in a night club, and I am going to be late for my train.” Robert raised his head to look directly at the unicorn. “If I have to go through the pair of you to get to my train, I am going to have new luggage.” And then he smiled, showing as many of his teeth as he could manage.
“Yeah, I'm sure you're real scary. Now...” he cut off as Robert charged forward, knocked him on his back and put a paw on his throat.
“Tell him to stop.” Robert let the pressure off.
“Wait!” the unicorn managed.
“Now, I've not even had my breakfast.” the unicorn swallowed. “But fortunately for you, I do not like raw food if I can help it. So I am going to let you up, and you are going to run. Far, far away from me. If I see you again, I will put aside my distaste for raw food. Do you understand?” the unicorn nodded as much as he was able. “Good. Count to ten, then run.” Robert removed his paw and began down the alley. He smiled when he heard the pair sprinting away.
Chapter 47
“She looked that bad huh?” Robert asked Spike, who nodded.
“It was pretty horrible.” the dragon confirmed. Robert chuckled. They were getting ready to board the train to the Crystal Empire.
“I did not look that horrible.” Twilight protested.
“Umm... yes, you did sugarcube.” Applejack said, and held up a picture from the town paper.
'Pretty princess partially frazzled fixing dark magic disaster.' read the headline. Twilight's mane and tail were in a pretty sorry state, as she fixed all the things Rarity had changed. Rarity shrank down.
“Don't worry about it Rarity.” Pinkie said. “We all get possessed by evil magic once in a while. Remember the first time we met Discord?” she asked.
“Never speak of that again.” Rarity said, eyes flaring.
“Just an example.” Pinkie said, waving her hooves in the universal gesture to ward off an angry unicorn.
“I did apologize for that, didn't I?” Discord asked.
“No, I don't believe you did.” Rarity said, turning.
“Oh, well... I'm sorry.” he shrugged, and then vanished.
“That wasn't a very sincere apology.” Twilight noted.
“Yeah, but... he was being honest. I think that's the best you'll get.” Applejack interjected. “And we'd best be getting' on the train so we don't get left behind.”
---
Preparing for the opening ceremony was as much a matter of repeating normal routines as anything for most of the crew from Ponyville, at least those not competing. Rainbow continued to push her team, meaning Fluttershy got very little rest. Of course, she wasn't sure when Rainbow was sleeping either, since she seemed to always be up and ready to startle her or Bulk Biceps. Of course, Rainbow's 'pep talk' on the train hadn't really helped much.
Bulk Biceps, for his part, didn't find that a problem. Want to win? Got to be the best. Don't got great wings? Muscle up. Did it matter that he couldn't fly fast? Nope. He could fly graceful. And more over, he could benchpress the entire Ponyville team. Losing wouldn't take that away, so he only had stuff to gain.
Rainbow of course, spent her time freaking out. And she'd learned that the best way to deal with that was to spread it around. If she was freaked out, better make sure everyone else is freaked out too. Make it nice and even. Even if Fluttershy was usually freaked out, and Bulk Biceps seemed to be impenetrable. She could wear down anyone. No one stayed calm around Rainbow Danger Professionalism Dash.
Pinkie... just had to watch. But she was always at full tilt. If not, you couldn't stay on top of everything, keep everything in check. Couldn't be ready to party at any moment. Gotta... ooh, bouncy. Bouncy Bouncy Bouncy....
Rarity kept looking into the mirror. Many a stallion, and more than a few mares would have told her she was perfect, and she would have happily agreed, even if she didn't quite believe it. Still, she checked and checked again her reflection for any hint of mistake. It was not for anyone else. She demanded perfection from herself. And if she was satisfied, what did it matter if others couldn't see it?
Twilight's preparations were less personal, and more public. Making sure her official regalia was just right was not a one pony job. Fortunately, Luna had lent her a specialist. Formal Occasion was a particularly capable attendant.
“Should be finished in just a moment.” he muttered, arranging her peytral. “Now comes the tricky bit.” he pulled it tight, and she buckled it. “Perfect. Fit alright?”
“Just perfect.” Twilight nodded. “Thanks for the help.”
“You are welcome, though it is quite literally my job.” he shrugged it off.
“I doubt Luna needs the help.” Twilight said, staring into the mirror.
“On the contrary, she sought out my services because she did require the aid.” he said, buffing some imperfection only he could see. “She had not worn her formal ensemble in quite some time, and required aid in putting it on. Even if one knows where all the buckles and straps are, it can be quite difficult to ensure one has them in place. And having such things fall off is quite embarrassing.”
“Why? It's not like we normally wear clothes.” Twilight asked.
“Indeed, and yet, would you not be embarrassed to drop a book on a hard surface?” he asked, polishing her shoes before passing them over.
“Oh, I see.” she said. “I guess that makes sense.”
“Indeed. She wished to ensure she did not commit any of the social faux pas which would cause harm to her return to the throne.” he paused. “I am sorry, I feel as though I am spilling secrets.”
“Sorry.” Twilight said. “You don't have to say anything more. The room is warded against listening spells though.”
“Might I ask why?” he queried.
“The first time we met Discord made me a little paranoid later. I got over it but... somethings remained. Becoming a princess meant that being able to ward for listening spells, and other such spycraft was very useful. Of course Discord slips past my wards once in a while anyway. I think he does it on purpose.”
“Probably. He is a creature of chaos. Though I must say, a little chaos, properly applied can go a long way.” he looked at her for a moment. “There you are your highness, ready for a royal occasion.”
“Thank you.” Twilight smiled. “For all the help.”
“As I said. It's my job.”
Applejack brushed her mane, long, smooth strokes. One after another until she'd reached one hundred. She was not Rarity, who took tremendous pride and ages over her mane and tail, but that did not mean she did not take care of them. Time and again her mother had told her so long as she took pride in her work, she should also take pride in whatever else she did. She slipped the ribbon around her hair, and tied it off. Then she brushed off her stetson and set it on her head.
Robert decided to be an earth pony. He'd intended on being a Pegasus, but that raised too many questions about why he wasn't competing. Being a Unicorn was completely out. They'd be under a disabling spell to prevent cheating. He'd asked Twilight to try one out on him, and had then spent the next day in bed, fighting off a reaction sickness. While it was effective, it was definitely not how the spell was supposed to disable magic. And so, earth pony it was. He thought he looked rather dashing.
A clicking noise came at his door, and he waited a moment for his transformation to dissipate. “Come in.” the door opened, and Gilda slipped inside.
“Hello.” she said levelly.
“I see you spoke with the Ambassador.” he said, not quite looking at her.
“Of course I did. I keep my promises.” she snapped, then wilted. “Sorry.”
“And?” Robert asked.
“He knew. When I walked in, he knew.” she glared. “Even before your letter, he feathering knew.”
“That's good, because I didn't say a thing about it in my letter.” Robert said, and looked her in the eyes.
“Why... why did he stand up for me?” she demanded.
“He does things for his own reason. I presume you standing here means he helped?” he asked, calmly.
“My family still wouldn't take me back.” she looked away. “He adopted me into his clan.”
“Must see greatness in you.” Robert said. “He doesn't do that for many.”
“I know. But I don't understand what he sees.” she shook her head.
“We rarely do.” he replied. They were silent for several long moments. “Do you have a return message for me?”
“No. He wants to deliver it personally.” she said. She rummaged in her bag. “Ah. You are cordially invited to the Griffon Embassy to the Crystal Empire for the summation party of the Equestria Games.”
“Want to give me the lay version?” he asked.
“Lame version? Sure.” she winked at him. “You're invited to the embassy after the games are done. We always have a big blow out to celebrate the wins, and commiserate the losses. It's legendary. Which is why we're banned from having it in Las Pegasus.” she laughed.
“Sounds like fun.” he answered.
“Good.” she looked down. “I'm also supposed to invite Princess Twilight.”
“Rainbow's competing, so you probably won't run into her.” Robert said.
“Really? Good.” she looked away again. “Not that I don't... you know...”
“After the games. Don't want to distract her.” Robert nodded. “Understandable. Want us to bring her to the party?”
“I... don't know. Make sure she knows I'm going to be there. Don't want to surprise her.” Gilda said, and turned to leave.
“Hey.” she paused. “I'm glad he helped.”
“So am I.” she walked out.
Chapter 48
The view from the stands was pretty amazing. But sitting in the Reporter's box gave him a huge field of view, especially since no pony wanted to get in front of the reporters and deny them a chance to see the athletes. Robert was actually taking notes, though not quite the same notes other reporters were taking. They were writing notes for exciting stories about various competitors and the competitions. Robert was busy writing notes down on wing aspects and ratios and certain mathematical calculations well above the heads of most of the reporters in the box. Which wasn't to say he was the smartest 'pony' in the box. Gossip Stone, a reporter for the Manehattan Tribune, and something of a legend, was sitting beside him and would every so often correct his math.
“Carry the one.” the charcoal grey Pegasus commented. Not taking his eyes off the competition. “Otherwise the whole thing is off.”
“Do you not have something else to do?” Robert asked, carrying the one.
“Many things, and I'm doing most of them.” the reporter said. “Watch this.” Robert glanced up, just as a griffon twisted around a competing Pegasus and stole victory in the aerial sprint. “Saw him angling for that at the start. Smooth move, but he nearly blew it cutting around that Wonderbolt.”
“Which one? There were three in the race.” Robert said, scanning the finish line.
“Rapidfire.” Gossip replied. “He nearly winged the poor guy, and sent them both into the stands. Good thing Rapidfire's still got his reflexes.”
“Pity.” Robert muttered. “He's still got to beat the finals, and I don't think he can do it.”
“No, but the move was smooth none the less.” Gossip chuckled. “What's the math say?”
“That he's boned.” Robert replied. “Also that he's incapable of flight beyond altitudes of eight thousand feet, which is probably why he's here instead of the high altitude relay.”
“Good.” Gossip said. “I hate covering the high altitude.”
“Oh?” Robert asked.
“I'm not exactly the most athletic of Pegasi, and flying up to the station always made me light headed even when I was younger.” Gossip shrugged.
“It's nearly ten thousand feet up in the air. Of course you're going to get light headed.” Robert shrugged. He wasn't sure if the journalist knew he was not actually an earth pony. At the same time, he wouldn't have bet against the possibility.
“Yeah, I guess. Two and four is eight when you multiply.” Gossip said. Robert skimmed his writing and corrected the mistake. “Plus it always makes my hooves itch when they dive to the finish line.”
“Tell me about it. I always expect to hear a splat.” Gossip looked at him for a moment, then laughed.
“Seen a few in my time. Always somewhere between a deep shame, and utter hilarity.” the Pegasus said after a moment. “Ah ha, here we go they're lining up for the finals.”
“Hmmm... pity Rainbow Dash had to run the Relay. She'd have flattened the competition.” Robert said, scanning the line up. Sure enough, across the stadium, she was on the edge of her seat. He smiled.
“Rainbow Dash? Didn't she win best young fliers a little while back?” Gossip asked. “Did a rainbow trick of some kind?”
“Sonic Rainboom.” Robert supplied. “She'd fill your ear with all kinds of information.”
“Ah. So, she's fast eh?” Gossip asked. “Rapidfire by a nose.” he predicted.
“Numbers agree, but Longwing's not been exerting himself.” Robert said. “She's more than just fast. She's got the ability to back up her boasting. I'm surprised the Wonderbolts haven't offered her a spot yet.”
“Isn't she scheduled to go up against them?” Gossip asked. “Aerial relay right?”
“Yeah.” Robert nodded. “Here we go.”
The griffons and Pegasi at the starting line spread wings and exploded upwards. Aerial Sprint wasn't the most terribly exciting race, not if you weren't aware of the difficulty. Straight up from the start was usually the hardest part, six hundred feet, over a cloud bank, then through two long straights, then down into the stadium and across the ground for nearly a quarter mile. Whoever crossed the finish first was the winner. There were ten Pegasi and two Griffons in the race, Longwing a dark blue griffon took an early second place, just behind Rapidfire and just ahead of the one who'd performed the twist to gain the win. The top three held position as they came around the first turn, then the performers disappeared out of the stadium.
Unicorn magic tracked them in overhead displays for the duration, then they dropped to ground level and exploded back towards the stadium. Another Wonderbolt pulled up beside them, and collided with the griffon who'd pulled the twist. They went down in a tumble, both out of the running. As they neared the stadium, Longwing finally began exerting himself. He suddenly pulled ahead of Rapidfire, wings drawing huge gulps of air to shoot him forward. But Rapidfire was not quite licked. He rolled into the big griffons draft, pulled him self along and shot forward over his competitors head. Longwing twisted his wings, and grabbed still more air. It came down to a feather length. Longwing lost by half a feather length. Both he and Rapidfire collapsed to the ground just past the finish line and had to be carried off the field.
“Longwing sounds more like a pony name.” Gossip said. “Wonder why he's called that?”
“Because his name is actually Gwendoline.” said a Griffon reporter from the other side. “His parents were expecting a female and didn't get it. So he went with the pony practice of picking a use name and thus Longwing the Griffon.”
“You know an awful lot about it.” Gossip said.
“Gregarious.” the griffon offered a claw, which Gossip shook. “Aerie sports chronicle.”
“Ah, the griffon himself.” Gossip smiled suddenly, then nudged Robert. “This griffon, knows all there is to know about griffon athletes. If you have any doubts, ask him.”
“Who was that griffon that managed that slick spin and the less slick crash?” Robert asked. Gregarious laughed.
“That, was Prince Gyre.” Gregarious said, grinning like mad.
“The crown prince of the Griffon Empire?” Gossip asked, blinking.
“One and the same.” the griffon confirmed. “No one thought he could make it to the finals and he proved them all wrong.”
“Good thing they didn't bet on him to win.” Robert said, shaking his head.
“Bah, he wouldn't even let them. Lotta griffons won because he lost.” Gregarious chuckled. “Equestrian bookies are so easy.”
“Really, betting against your own royalty?” Gossip said. “Never catch us doing that.”
“Equestrian Royalty isn't the competition type.” Gregarious shrugged.
“And just what type are they?” Gossip asked, squinting.
“The type I'm not at all interested in ticking off thank you.” Gregarious shook his head. “One controls the sun, one the moon, and one beats gods in the head for fun. Though to be honest, I'm more afraid of Shining Armor than I am of the Crystal Empress.”
“Princess is a push over. It's the pretty pink one that'll stomp ya into the ground. Trust me.” Robert shook his head. Gregarious raised one eye tuft. “It's a long story.”
“Got it. Some other time then.” the griffon shrugged. “Speaking of, I'm going to go see if the prince and Longwing would be willing to give me interviews.” he stood and left the box.
“So, got lunch plans?” Gossip asked.
“As a matter of fact, I do not. If you know a good place to eat, I'll buy.”
“You're going to lose money on that deal you know.”
“I never doubted it.”
---
After the closing ceremony, Robert was glad to have been sitting on the opposite end of the field from where the cloud was headed. Indeed, even so he'd fought the urge to run. Gossip had been happy to have something to report on, even if they'd gotten wet because of it. Fortunately, the Pegasi had only taken a couple of minutes to clear the skies of other clouds that had sympathetically rained, and Celestia had raised the sun for a few minutes to dry the stadium. Luna had even amused the audience by making the moon do tricks around the sun.
The griffon embassy was a surprisingly subdued building, at least by Crystal Empire standards. It's surprisingly hard to do anything subtle when you're building in a material that reflects every bit of light. The Griffons had managed it though, by building all the angles so the light played into the courtyard and the bushes there, instead of flashing blindingly out into the ground. The roof was coated in a thin layer of soot, and even now a few workers were up there making sure that it remained covered. Twilight, Rainbow, and Robert flew into the courtyard, making soft landings on the crystal cobblestone. The others had all chosen to remain at the royal party being hosted at the Castle instead of the Griffon Ambassador's. The tremendously large buffet and lack of belligerent griffons were big indicators of why.
“Invitations please?” the door guard asked.
“Invitations? We weren't told we needed them.” Twilight said, on the very edge of a panic attack.
“Twilight. He's messing with you.” Rainbow said, patting her withers.
“Guarding the door is boring.” the griffon said, and shook his head. “Go on in Princess.”
Seen from the balcony the room was surprisingly crowded. Dozens of Griffons, Pegasi, and even Crystal Ponies littered the floor, some dancing, some talking and a few of them fighting off in the corner. As they entered a Crystal Pony headbutted a griffon and sent it down for the count in the corner. While the pony threw up it's hooves in celebration, a couple of medics pulled her opponent out of the ring and a fresh one jumped in, lunging straight away, only to be met with back hooves to the beak and the fight resumed.
“That's barbaric.” Twilight said, shaking her head.
“Yeah, isn't it just?” Robert said.
“You sound excited.” Twilight accused.
“The Juvitar is a very old griffon custom. It's as much a friendly competition as blood sport. The prestige comes from lasting as long as you can before you get knocked out. The modern version allows for no talons, no claws, and no edged weapons. Killing is discouraged, but it happens on occasion, almost always unintentionally. And it's investigated every time. Most of the time though, it's no more than a simple accident.” Robert shrugged. “Besides, griffons are all hyper aggressive and putting them together with other griffons and not giving them an outlet is a recipe for gratuitous amounts of bloodshed.”
“Ponies live in harmony.” Twilight countered.
“Ponies are not predators by blood. You fight when trained to overcome your instincts or when backed into a corner. Griffons and even Tigers fight as naturally as we breathe.” the Crystal Pony finally went down under a hail of rapid blows from a very lithe griffon. Robert recognized Prince Gyre even from the distance. He held up three talons and was immediately rewarded by three competitors entering the ring. A griffon, another crystal pony and...
“Rainbow!” Twilight's voice didn't quite carry the distance. She took a half step forward, only to be blocked by the front leg of a gray feathered griffon, with a slowly graying pelt of fur.
“Not even a Princess is allowed to interfere with the Juvitar.” he said, not moving even as she pressed against his leg. Her hooves dug small furrows into the floor. “The custodians will not be pleased to see you damaging their floors either I do not think.”
“Who are you, and how did you do that?” Twilight said, backing off a half-step.
“You are not the only student in the world. And Earth Ponies are not the only ones who may learn to stand firm. Also I held onto the railing.” the griffon nodded his head to the railing around the balcony. “I am Ambassador Gris of the Zephyr Clan, of the House of the Nine Winds. It is a pleasure.” he held out his fore claw.
“Princess Twilight Sparkle. Call me Twilight.” she reached out with a hoof. Down in the arena, Gyre knocked out the Crystal pony and then the griffon in quick succession. Rainbow put him in a choke hold.
“Then you must call me Gris.” he shook her hoof and let it go. “So you are Celestia's student.”
“I am. Was anyway.” Twilight replied. Gyre beat his wings up and dropped himself and Rainbow on the floor. Tried at least, Rainbow's wings buzzed and rolled them over, so he cushioned her impact. “These were a graduation gift apparently.” Twilight flexed her wings.
“And have you brought my old friend here to the ways of peace, love and harmony?” Gris nodded at Robert.
“Knockout, Knockout, Knockout!” Robert chanted with the crowd.
“Not exactly.” Twilight answered, smiling. Gyre threw his head back and hit Rainbow in hers, causing her to lose her grip. He gasped for air, and rolled away just before she landed on him. Then it was her turn to roll as he tried for an elbow drop. She spun half way through and planted both back hooves into his side. They tumbled apart, and came up. “I've been teaching him magic, and he's been teaching me about tiger culture.”
“Ah. As fine a group of warriors as you will ever meet.” Gris said. “My time among them counts as some of the most glorious fighting I have ever done.”
“I don't know that fighting is ever glorious.” Rainbow lunged forward, and feinted left. Gyre dodged right, and was rewarded as Rainbow shot straight at him. He pulled up a fist to strike, but she realized her problem in time and jerked backwards with a sharp flap of her wings. He missed tumbled forward and caught her on the chin with his leg. She staggered back. “Seems like a bit of a terrible thing.”
“It is. Should be. Battle is not something to be undertaken lightly, and in particular, not without understanding the cost.” Rainbow danced back, ducked right, and lunged past Gyre, who spun, but not fast enough. Just as he completed his turn, Rainbow threw her weight back and stomped on his fore claw. He reared back in pain, and she hit him in the chest. He saw it though, and beat his wings back one half-beat. Her hooves just ruffled his feathers, and he beat forward, intent on grappling. “The young engage without thought or heed for the cost, and it is only when we become older that we learn the cost.”
“What did it cost you?” Twilight asked. Rainbow let Gyre close, and just as he spread his limbs to grab her, she ducked back into him, knocking him off his stride, then twisting around and swinging with a fore hoof. He grabbed her leg. He really shouldn't have done that.
“Me? It cost me some of my dearest friends. And my eye.” Gris turned, showing a healed patch where his left eye had been once, a long jagged scar running down his face. Dash felt the claw grip her arm, and she buzzed her wings, and spun. Gyre jerked off his feet, and found his face meeting the hard packed dirt floor of the arena, and so a moment later did the rest of him. He didn't lose his grip, on her leg or on consciousness. Rainbow stopped, and just as suddenly reversed her spin.
“How did that happen?” Twilight asked. “No pony's ever been able to tell me the story.”
“Not much story too it.” Gyre was drug up off the floor, and spun around again. This time he flared his wings open to stop himself from crashing. Rainbow continued to spin, moving around him now. He let go before she tore his limb from it's socket. She spun up, over his head, and lashed out with her hind legs. “I fought with the Darkeel Clan of tigers. They are mostly small, mean spirited little sots, but loyal to a fault. We hunted the northern ranges and encountered a herd of Jerloa. Not at all intelligent, but big, viscous beasts. They look not unlike buffalo, save that they have reptilian hides. We hunted the stragglers, always a good strategy anyway. But the last we took that day did not wish to go gentle into the goodnight. It fought us for more than an hour. I lost two whom I called blood brother, and the beast nearly stomped my head from my shoulders. He would have finished it but the others drove it away, and brought it down.”
“They couldn't save the eye?” Twilight asked. Gyre twisted, and was caught on the shoulder, but escaped the worst of the blow. He lashed out with his own hind legs, aiming to clip a wing but missed. Rainbow dropped low, and lunged.
“They tried. Packed it in ice and had to carry me back to the shaman. He tried. Bless his name, he did try, but nothing could be done. So I plucked it, and let him heal the wound.” Gris sighed. What happened next in the arena was something that happened rarely. Rainbow's lunge, and Gyre's counter did no have the room necessary to complete. A one-two clatter and clank as the combatants attempted to dodge, and attack at once ended with them hitting the posts that ringed the arena. It was no draw, because the Juvitar does not have even rules for such. Instead each was awarded a win, and the arena closed.
“You plucked out your own eye?” Twilight said, looking a little sickly.
“Ate it too. Best to return what is lost if you can.” she turned a little greener. Rainbow and Gyre were retrieved and administered to, and brought around with cold cloths. In the spirit of good-hearted rivalry and spirited competition, they bought one another drinks and promised a rematch some day in the future.
“Wow. Don't think I've ever seen a double knockout.” Robert chuckled. “Hello Ambassador.”
“How often do I have to tell you my name is Gris?” the ambassador shook his head.
“Until I get it right.” Robert grinned. “How have you been my friend?” he reached out a paw.
“I have been well.” Gris shook. “And you?”
“Doing well. Making friends and eating ponies wherever I go.” Robert replied. Twilight blinked, but Gris laughed.
“That's influencing Robert.”
“Yeah, that too.” Twilight shook her head, but Gris laughed harder. Rainbow returned with Gyre in tow. There were several jealous looking female griffons in the crowd, glaring at her. Those who'd been close enough to see the fight were glaring, but carefully in case she looked at them.
“Twilight!” Rainbow said, grinning. “This is Prince Gyre.”
“A pleasure Princess Twilight.” Gyre bowed low, and nearly fell down the stairs. Rainbow caught him. “Apologies. The world decided to jump out from beneath me.” he said, and closed his eyes for a moment.
“Is he okay?” Twilight asked.
“Mild concussion. They don't want him sleeping tonight. Don't think there'll be a shortage of volunteers to keep him up all night long.” Dash twitched her eyebrows. Twilight rolled her eyes. Rainbow chuckled. Gyre opened his eyes.
“That appears to be better.” he said, looking at Twilight.
“A pleasure to meet you as well Prince Gyre.” Twilight bowed low in the way Celestia had taught her to greet foreign dignitaries. “I trust you find the empire sufficiently to your liking?”
“It definitely holds it's charms.” he said, smiling. “It is not the empire I am used to, and yet it is still somewhat familiar.”
“I heard you participated in the games.” Twilight said, making small talk. She'd never been very good, but there was at least something to talk about.
“I did. Sadly I did not place in my chosen event.” he shrugged. “Though I am pleased to report that we still placed only second.”
“Which event did you compete in?” Rainbow asked.
“Aerial Sprint.” Gyre replied. “I crashed heading into the home stretch. I believe one of your Wonderbolts took the top spot.”
“Rapidfire.” Rainbow confirmed. “Beat out Longwing by a half a feather length. If the games had waited one more year, he'd probably have won, but Rapidfire's still got it.”
“He does indeed.” Gyre smiled. “Longwing is braver than I. I should not like to have raced Rapid fire in his prime.”
“Yeah, me either. I'd totally win, but it wouldn't be fair.” Rainbow smirked.
“Yeah, he cheats.” Robert nodded.
“Well duh.” Rainbow laughed. “He was a Long Patrol Master Scout.” Chuckles were shared by all but Twilight.
“A Long Patrol what?” she asked.
“The Long Patrol functions as both a long distance reconnaissance unit, as well as the go to unit for engaging the monsters that threaten the populace, but don't warrant either a full guard squad or the intervention of the Princesses or the Magi.” Rainbow replied. “No pony, but no pony is better at not being seen than Long Patrol Scouts. They go in first and scope out the danger for the rest of the group. They've gotta be good or they just end up casualties. Rapid fire was not only good, he was the best of the best. Lord Pyrrhicus awarded him the rank of Master Scout personally.”
“Shining's predecessor did that?” Twilight blinked. “I don't remember that.”
“It was before you became Celestia's student.” Raimbow shrugged. “I only know from reading the History of the Wonderbolts.”
“Rainbow reading? Be still my heart!” Twilight put a hoof to her chest.
“Ha ha.” Rainbow shook her head. “I was reading for the test, but I ran across the coolest fact about Daring Do.”
“Of course you did.” Twilight chuckled. “Which was?”
“She's an honorary wonderbolt!” Rainbow laughed. “She had to pretend to be one in the Secret of the False Flag. They were so honored they made her one. Very awesome.”
“Very.” Twilight agreed. She'd known that, in some back corner of her mind, though she couldn't remember having pushed it there, or when she'd learned it. Another part of her was jumping up and down because she needed to read the book again. Got to read the book again. “So, Prince Gyre, why were you competing?”
“I'm not exactly prime griffon material.” he started. There was a pause as a huge number of female griffons in the crowd disputed his claim. “So I decided to come and compete in the games and show what I could do. I guess I came up a little short.” there was more dissent, but this time it wasn't from the females.
“Do not be too hard on yourself.” Longwing landed on the balcony. “I train day in and day out, and still, I found myself racing against you. That is no mean feat.”
“Thank you. Still, I did lose.” Gyre shrugged. “But I did compete, so I should be happy.”
“You, like I, lost to the Wonderbolts. There is no shame in that.” Longwing held out a claw, closed into a fist. Gyre returned it. “So my prince, shall we have a rematch?”
“I don't know if I should, but...” Gyre considered it. “If my new friend here can join us?” he waved a wing to Rainbow Dash. Longwing looked at her for a moment, and smiled, bowing with one wing.
“Certainly such a lovely mare may join us.” Rainbow blushed. “Of course, if she is as fast as I have heard, we might have more competition than we did in the games.”
“Didn't you see her in the Aerial relay?” Twilight asked.
“I did indeed, and she was quick, but a team event is hardly a good judge of individual speed.” Longwing shrugged. “Let us go forth and see what the free wings say?”
“Rainbow?” Gilda's voice drifted up from the bottom of the stairs.
“Why don't you two go pick out a course? I have to talk to someone.” Rainbow turned and trotted down the stairs. The two griffons looked at Twilight.
“She's a... friend. It's too complicated to get into.” she shook her head. “Let's go pick out a course. One way or another, Rainbow will be ready to race.” she led the pair of griffons out the door, and the sound of wings taking flight could be heard.
Chapter 49
“So, Robert, how are you truly doing?” Gris asked, after a moment. He'd adjusted his position so he could watch Rainbow and Gilda.
“Far better than I ever expected.” Robert said. “I have to admit, I wasn't sure coming to Equestria was a good idea.”
“And now?” Gris prompted gently.
“Now I am glad that I did.” he replied. “I don't think I would have earned my stripes if I'd stayed home.”
“I see you haven't earned all of them.” Gris noted, raising the brow of his missing eye.
“All good things come to those who wait. Besides, not all my visions have come to pass.” Robert said. “Then again, I did not expect I would learn to fly.” that caused Gris to swing his head around.
“Come again?” he asked, momentarily forgetting Rainbow and Gilda.
“I had an allergic reaction to a compound while making potions with Zecora. I was blown across a clearing, and into a tree. When I woke, the wings I had for a special trick?” Gris nodded. “They were stuck in place and my magic was broken. Wouldn't work at all. Rainbow Dash taught me to fly.”
“So, you overcame your fear?” Gris asked.
“No.” Robert chuckled. “Every time I take to the air, I'm terrified I'm going to crash. It's... not something I can get rid of I don't think. So I either let it win, or I fight it. And you know me. I never back down from a fight.”
“Even one you can't win.” Gris nodded. Robert gave him an offended glare, which had no effect. At all.
“I do win even my fair share of those.” Robert said. “Hah, and I just got finished telling Twilight I don't boast.”
“Telling the truth is not boasting. Unless done to excess.” Gris smiled. “There is of course the fact that you haven't won any fights you couldn't win.” he chuckled. “After all, if you won, obviously they weren't unwinnable.”
“Out numbered a dozen to one, surrounded, and attacked from above as well? I think that was pretty well unwinnable, and I won.” Robert snorted. “And that one is no boast. I have the guard statements to back it up. Gris rolled his eye.
“Very well, I'll give you that one. Can you hear them?” Gris asked, pointing towards Rainbow and Gilda.
“Not really.”
---
Gilda waited at the base of the stairs for Rainbow. Rainbow sat down for a long moment. “So.”
“Yeah.”
“Good.”
“Right.”
“We should probably use more words.”
“Yes, probably.” Gilda hung her head. “Rainbow. I'm sorry.”
“I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have thrown you out of my life like that. I should have given you a chance to change.” Rainbow offered. “Not threw you out on your tail feathers. My element is supposed to be loyalty. That means loyalty to all my friends.”
“I wasn't a very good friend.” Gilda admitted. “I guess I didn't grow up very well.”
“Nah, you grew up fine. Maturing just escaped you.” Rainbow smiled. Gilda smiled back after a moment.
“Yeah, I guess it did.” Gilda sighed. “Thank you.”
“For what?” Rainbow asked.
“Saving my life.” Gilda replied. “If you hadn't sent me to Gris, I don't think I would have convinced them.”
“I didn't send you to him. But if that hadn't been an option, I would have brought you back.” Rainbow grinned. “So, have you changed?”
“A little.” Gilda admitted. “I'm still me, but he's been teaching me to control it.”
“Good.” Rainbow nodded. “Control is important.”
“Yeah. I guess I owe a few apologies.” Gilda said. “To your yellow friend more than anyone else.”
“Yeah.” Rainbow nodded. “And Pinkie.”
“Oh.” Gilda had tried very hard to forget Pinkie. It was impossible, but she'd made a valiant effort. “Yes, I guess she deserves one as well. I might as well apologize to all the rest of them, just in case.”
“Probably a good idea. In fact, apologize to Pinkie first, and she'll help with the rest.” Rainbow shrugged. She'd made an apology or two in the past. So had Pinkie, though it was decidedly difficult to remain mad a Pinkie.
“Goody. I see my punishment is only just beginning.” Gilda sighed. “Do you think you'd be willing to help me? So they believe me?”
“Of course. What are friends for?” Gilda smiled. So did Rainbow. “Now, I've got a race to win, and you have got to watch.”
“Sure, what are friends for?” Gilda asked.
---
Twilight, Robert, Gris and Gilda lined up on the edge of the roof of the Embassy. Some distance up in the sky, sitting on a cloud, Rainbow, Gyre and Longwing lined up.
“Twilight, we're ready. Give us the go.” Rainbow called. Twilight counted to seven, then fired a flash of light from her horn. The racers exploded forward. It was more of a contest than the four on the rooftop had seen in some time. Gyre was not as fast as the other two, but he did not let a simple lack of speed stop him in the slightest. He fell in behind Longwing, using the other Griffon's draft to pull him along. Rainbow led almost immediately, shooting straight out from the others. She was fast, but her lead wasn't quite so large as she would have thought. Longwing stayed within a few pony lengths of her, no matter how fast she went. As they approached the first turn, she realized what he was doing. He was drafting HER.
She wasn't about to let that pass. She over shot the turn, then twisted, whipping around, and over Longwing's head, before diving down between him and Gyre, and disappearing forward into the night. The pair of Griffons struggled to backwing and change direction. Rainbow shot on away, though she didn't get too far ahead. It wasn't fun if the opposition didn't think they still had a chance to win. Gyre drafted behind Longwing again, then burst out and over the bigger griffon, and dove straight towards Rainbow. She felt him coming up behind her, and let him catch up. Not too much, then she put on a burst of speed, hit the next turn and leveled out into the straight. She shot over the ground, not quite losing him, and even Longwing managed to catch up and keep up in Gyre's slipstream. The final turn came up fast. Rainbow braked sharply, carved a line around the cloud pillar with the tip of a wing, then exploded back the other direction, shockwave disrupting the careful draft the other two had been maintaining. All pretenses forgotten, Rainbow poured on the speed. She wasn't going quite fast enough for a sonic rainboom, but Twilight could feel the energy crackling, waiting for release. Dash rode the edge of that energy, and was a full minute and a half ahead of her competition.
Gyre and Longwing were speechless when they finally arrived. Gilda wasn't. She was rolling on the ground, laughing madly. “You two just got owned. By a pony!” she managed in between fits of laughter.
“I had not anticipated that level of speed.” Longwing admitted. “Nor such grace in stringing us along for so much of the race.
“No Sonic Rainboom?” Twilight asked. Rainbow shrugged.
“Didn't want to show off.” Gilda laughed even harder.
---
Twilight and her friends were waiting for the train to Ponyville when Rainbow, Robert, and Gilda arrived. Fluttershy slid behind Applejack when she saw them. Pinkie paused in her bouncing. She resumed it after a moment, slightly slower, and not quite as high into the air.
“Girls.” Twilight's voice caused them to look at her. Except Rarity who was still examining her luggage. “Rarity?” Rarity looked up.
“Gilda has something to say.” Rainbow said. Gilda hesitated, and Rainbow nudged her forward.
“Thanks.” she muttered, completely ignoring Rainbow's return grin. “I have been made aware that I was not a...” she faltered, searching for the words. “Very good friend.”
“Duh.” Pinkie said, to glares. “What?”
“It's okay. I get what Rainbow was saying. I got older, but... I still needed to do some growing up. She helped me meet someone that saw the same things. And he helped me do that. To her I'll be grateful forever. And as for the rest of you... I owe each of you an apology.” she looked at them. “I was a pretty big jerk. I'm still a jerk, and I know that. I hope I can come and show you that I've changed sometime in the future.”
“Yes.” that was Fluttershy. The others turned to look at her. “If Discord can change, so can she.”
“Sure.”
“Of course.”
“Why not?” the others chorused.
“Absolutely.” Twilight nodded. “Any time you're ready, we'll be happy to see the new you.”
Chapter 50
“Right. Everyone ready?” Robert asked. There were various rumbles of ascent from the menagerie of animals before him.
“Do be careful. The forest is ever so dangerous.” Fluttershy said. There was a moment of silence as the assembled group of carnivores tried to determine if she was actually serious. Robert cleared his throat.
“We'll certainly do that.” he assured her. Even Angel found it hard to keep a straight face. The group turned and trouped off into the forest, setting out on the path to Zecora's at first. Mid-way through though, they turned off into a path used so seldomly it was almost invisible. Barry led the way, picking through the branches, and occasionally using his claws to shear on off when it had the audacity to snap back and hit him in the face. Robert couldn't help but laugh, which set the rest of them, and after a moment, Barry himself to laughing.
They stopped in a small clearing for their one and only packed meal, prepared by Fluttershy, and heard clearly the sound of the train leaving for the Crystal Empire. Twilight and friends being out of town had been the perfect chance for the trip, since Fluttershy wouldn't be worried about them, and Bulk Biceps had agreed to watch the herbivores. And Angel had agreed to watch him. Robert was still unsure what exactly to make of Bulk Biceps. Possibly the biggest pony he'd ever seen, including Big Mac, he was one of the few who he didn't have to look down to talk to. And yet, he never really seemed to have much to say. He was enthusiastic, sure enough, but it didn't translate much into conversation. On the other hand, Robert was able to discern that he was a surprisingly intelligent pony. Which made his choice of employment as an odd-job pony all the more curious. Even though the thought had occurred to him, that they shared the idea that free time was as valuable as work, he was still not sure what to say on those occasions he found himself talking to the big pony. Which was too bad. The lack of neck strain was quite welcome.
A thought for another day he decided, as they set out. Barry was leading the way because he was the one who knew the path to the stream. His mate did, but was more focused on keeping their cub from wandering to far away. Derrick on the other paw, wandered far and wide, occasionally coming back to ensure they were all there, and then disappeared again. The only one he seemed to get along with at all was Bobby, who seemed to find it amusing that the others didn't. Manny trotted along, oblivious to just about everything. Even those tree branches that Barry missed because they were over his head, that swatted Manny didn't seem to faze him, or even be noticed. Robert was even less sure what to make of him, but he seemed generally harmless, at least as much as a big cat of any kind could be considered harmless, especially one with a scorpion tail. He made a mental note to ask Twilight how that had happened, or if she knew. 'When a mommy cat, and daddy scorpion love each other very much.' Robert wiped that thought out of his head.
The bobcat and the terrier spent the vast majority of the time... arguing. It wasn't a physical altercation, though he'd learned enough to know not to bet against the little guy in any battle. Instead they seemed to be half way between wanting to kill one another, and being the closest family he'd seen in some time.
The stream in the forest was further in than any of the others had gone, with the exception of Manny. Of course, he didn't seem to care about that any more than he did the rest of the things, but there was no way to tell. Barry let them know they'd reached the stream in his own fashion of course. He took two steps past a branch and fell in. Everyone laughed, despite Barry's own grumbling, but he picked himself up and shook off.
Fishing techniques were as varied as the carnivores who applied them. Barry and his mate taught their cub how to stand in the water, and snap up the huge fish out of the water. He mastered it fairly quickly, and was soon managing to snatch the with ease. Rita's method was to simply wait on the shore and lunge into the water. That lead to a huge spray of water and a significantly wet bobcat washing up on one shore or the other. Manny laid down on the shore, and would occasionally lash out with his tail and spear a fish clear through without even looking. Bobby wasn't interested in fish, but he spent his time digging along the shore for worms and grubs. Derrick? He took a slightly unconventional approach. He climbed a tree, and waited in the branches. When the fish he wanted appeared, he dropped out with an even larger spray of water than Rita, and then emerged some distance down stream, trailing fish guts and enjoying himself immensely. Robert for his part, stuck with the bear method. He wasn't quite as fast as the bears at it, but it was far more fun than his usual method.
Camping on the side of the river was relaxing, everyone bedded down for the night. At the same time, Robert found himself suddenly, disturbingly sleepless. So he climbed a tree. It wasn't quite so arduous as climbing the one he'd claimed as a home closer to Ponyville, which was a twisted and knotted trunk that had contained the house quite comfortably, but at the same time necessitated one to work their way back and forth up the limbs, or climb the long sloping stairs that the previous Pegasus occupants had installed for company.
Of course, there was the option of flying, but his wings did not do well in the close confines of the branches, and he rarely slept inside the house unless the weather was bad. Still, here deep in the heart of the Everfree, the trees were tall and straight, with few branches to use as holds, and so were rarely climbed. Like Derrick, the lack of holds mattered little when one had claws with which to grab. Up he climbed, sinking blow after blow into the bark of the tree, and pulling himself inexorably higher into the crown.
Once there, he settled himself down, and waited. He wasn't sure what he was waiting for, but it wasn't long before he found it. The flare of magic being fed on was not something he'd ever expected to see in Equestria. Thaumovores were not entirely unheard of, particularly not out in the wild lands. He'd had to deal with a few in his travels to Equestria. Most of them preferred plants, of which there were more than a few that gathered magic naturally in the course of growing. Others preferred to attack those plant gatherers. Robert had been the victim of one of the latter and had taught it a lesson in choosing your targets.
Having found and identified the source of the disturbance though, he felt oddly at ease. He spread his wings, and leaped from the tree, swirling round and round until he landed softly at it's base. He laid down, and fell asleep.
---
“Robert?” Luna's voice echoed across the grassland of his dream. He perked his ears up and swiveled them around. “Robert? Are you here?”
He slid through the grass, disturbing it slightly as he moved. Luna was standing on a rock outcropping. He vaguely recognized it. Both that it was familiar, and that it was out of place here.
“Robert?” she called again.
“Yes princess?” he asked from behind her. Luna started.
“We would appreciate thou not stopping our heart.” she said patting her chest.
“Apologies princess.”
“It is quite alright.” she considered her words. “Where are you in the waking world?”
“Deep in the Everfree.” he waved a paw, and a map arose from the surface of the rock. He had no talent in walking the dream, but in his mind he was as powerful as his imagination could manage. A soft blue light indicated his position.
“I advise you to remain there. An old foe from our past has arisen. He is beginning to drain magic from ponies, and I would not wish you harmed.” Luna sighed. “My sister has enacted a plan to capture him, but...”
“You do not approve.” Robert nodded. “And why might that be?”
“She intends to use Discord.” Luna replied.
“He will betray you, given a chance.” Robert nodded.
“You seem confident.” Luna said.
“I foresaw somethings, before I came to Equestria. Discord's betrayal is one such thing.”
“You did not warn us?” Luna asked.
“What I saw in my visions is what must happen.” Robert smiled. “Too many see the future, and foolishly seek to change what is to come. I understand that visions of the future are not for us to use in changing it, but for us to use in preparing for what is to come.”
“I have heard this once before.” Luna said. “And I did not believe him either.”
“And what happened?” Robert asked.
“I spent one thousand years on the moon.” she replied, surprisingly bitter.
“The future is, as the past, difficult to change, and harder still to change for the better.” Robert nodded. “But there are things that we haven't seen yet, and things that are still to come.”
“Meaning?” she asked.
“Many can see the future. Some can see the end of things. Few of those dare look past it. I have dared. The future holds many promises. Of victory, and failure.” he looked into the distance. “I have always had a philosophy when it comes to gambling Princess.”
“Would you care to share it with me?” she asked.
“Bet on the long shot. But never count out the wild cards.” Robert shrugged. “And always put a few on the sure thing.”
“Twilight Sparkle.” Luna nodded. “I admit to being unsure why Celestia has kept her back.”
“Because her magic is her greatest strength, a strength which would be wasted against a monster who consumes magic.” Robert replied.
“I always believed her friends were her greatest strength.” Luna said, confused.
“They are. But friendship is magic. Twilight has worked out the formulae. If you ever have trouble sleeping, ask her to explain it.” Robert smiled. “In any case, if you give him the chance now, the consequences will be... disastrous.”
“A vision?” she asked. He nodded.
“One that can come about a thousand ways. Not a one ends with there being anything left of Equestria, but a few motes of ash drifting into the crater it once occupied.” the voice was so solemn that she turned sharply to him.
“How?” she asked, fearing the answer.
“Dovale's Annihilator.” he spoke the words quietly. “White Dawn leads. Dawn Seer guides.”
“I had always wondered why he wrote such a thing.” Luna nodded.
“Take heart.” Robert said, touching her shoulder. “Each moment that passes, the future grows clearer.”
“Then hope remains?”
“Hope ALWAYS remains. Sometimes that is all that remains.” Robert shrugged.
“Thank you. Sleep well.”
“Guard us well Princess.” They bowed.
----
The trip ended sooner than they would have liked, but fleeing the outskirts of Twilight's battle turned out to be far more important than lunch. It was impossible not to feel Twilight's power, the strength of four Alicorns combined together. And the strength of Tirek, who'd absorbed every single pony he could find. Robert had spoken to the animals. Barry, his mate and cub, Manny, Bobby, and Rita and Runt headed deeper into the forest. Derrick turned back with Robert.
He arrived just in time to see Tirek drain the power from Twilight. And see him turn towards him. With her gone, he was the next strongest beacon of power. Tirek started towards him. Robert took wing and disappeared into the forests. Tirek came on. He didn't need eyes to see him. Tree's snapped and crackled under his weight and from his magic. Robert found his spot, and turned to stand his ground.
“Come out, come out. I can smell your magic.” Tirek roared. “Come out, or I'll come in there and get you.”
“Here's Robbie!” Robert leaped through the air. Tirek sneered and grabbed him by the tail.
“A tiger? I didn't know Tiger's had magic.” Tirek raised him into the air, and drained his magic. “I guess I know where next I'll go.”
“I shouldn't think you'd think that a good idea.” Robert smiled.
“And why not?” Tirek asked.
“You know what happens, when you have a tiger by the tail?” Robert asked.
“What?” Tirek demanded.
“Nothing good.” Robert threw himself upwards and his claws sunk into Tirek's hand. “Let's see how you like it.” Robert bit him. Tirek roared in pain and swatted him away. With him came a hunk of flesh. Pain flared again, and he roared. Robert landed in a tree. “Well, well. It seems you're magically delicious!” Robert leaped into the air, wings beating him upwards. Tirek, wound on one hand already healing, swatted at him with the other. He stopped in mid swipe, eyes going cross.
You'd pause too, if you had a Wolverine using your dangly bits for a jungle gym. Derrick found a likely spot and took a bite out of evil himself. Tirek roared and clamped his legs together. It wasn't his brightest idea, because all it did was annoy the Wolverine and hurt himself. Robert landed on his arm, and drew back for another bite. Tirek knocked him away, then sat down, hard. Derrick let go and dropped to the ground an instant before Tirek hit. He scampered forwards and bit a front leg. Tirek jerked up and kicked out, sending him flying. Robert leaped up and caught the wolverine, then dropped back. Tirek's horns charged, and fired. The pair sprinted clear. A moment later, the elements of harmony rose into the air, charged with rainbow light. And curbstomped Tirek.
A moment later, the rainbow began. Robert looked up. “Oh, sh--”
Author's Notes:
Could not decide which ending amused me more, so you get two of them to choose from. Both are 'technically' canon to the story so which ever you think is funnier is the one that ends the story.
Chapter 51A
“We did it!” Twilight enthused. “That was amazing.”
“It sure was something.” Applejack acknowledged.
“Has anypony seen Robert?” Fluttershy asked. “Bobby said he'd gone back toward Tirek, but I haven't seen him.”
“No, I hope he's alright.” Rarity said.
“Down here.” said a small orange and black kitten. Rainbow trotted over and leaned down.
“Omigosh, isn't he a cute little kitty!” the rest of the gang started. Rainbow remembered herself. “I mean, cool, yeah.” Two paws grabbed her snout and pulled her down.
“I am many things, but cute is not one of them.” it said.
“What happened?” Twilight asked.
“You ponies and your bloody rainbows...” Robert said.
---
The rainbow washed over everything, restoring magic to ponies as it went. And wrenching loose any that had been taken. Robert felt the world move, and suddenly get a lot bigger. He saw from the low grass as soldiers came and took away Tirek, now vastly reduced in size. Robert laughed, realizing he was in the same predicament. “Derrick, want to lead us back to town?” The wolverine, was less than helpful, staring at him, and then rolling onto his back, laughing madly.
---
“So I ended up coming back the long way.” Robert finished. “Do you know how long of a walk it is when your legs are this short?”
“Ummm... why didn't you fly?” Twilight asked.
“Tirek took my magic, and what I had... taken back from him, was also taken. Now I have none at all until it comes back naturally.” he sighed, and looked around. “So, nice castle. Got a spare bedroom?”
FIN
Chapter 51B
“That was exhausting. I do hope we don't have to do that again anytime soon.” Rarity said, settling down into her chair. The adrenaline had worn off.
“You're tellin' me Sugarcube. Ah feel like ah've harvested the whole orchard myself.” Applejack agreed.
“Or flown the entire Grand Pegathalon.” Rainbow nodded.
“Yes.” Fluttershy agreed.
“I thought it was fun.” Pinkie said, with far more energy than she had any right to.
“Well, it turns out...” Twilight said, as she came in. “I think we might have to defeat Robert.”
“Whatever do you mean?” Rarity asked.
“He won't stop laughing.” Twilight said. Robert trotted in, chuckling, saw the ponies slumped in their chairs, then started laughing in earnest.
“What's so funny?” Applejack demanded, sitting up right for a moment.
“You guys. Looked... so silly!” Robert rolled over, laughing. “I mean, Rarity, Rainbow, and Applejack pulled it off. But that was too funny!”
“Don't worry Twilight, I got this.” Pinkie produced a bucket of water.
Moments later a sopping wet Tiger was washed out into the street, still laughing.
FIN