The directors office was situated on the fifth floor. It was a large room, 225 square feet, complete with all the furnishings befitting a pony of power. In place of an outside wall was one large glass pane with a view of the east walls of Canterlot castle. Distinctions, both professional and academic, hung in glass frames on the ego wall. Some croquet trophies were collecting dust on a shelf. An executive toy clacked steadily as Valiant Heart leafed through an expandable case file. She had read it three times before Shell limped into the office. She needed a fourth, because she could not believe what happened.

A security guard stood by in one corner of the room. A ring of keys hung from his belt, including a key to Shell's cuffs. Shell, cuffed to the chair by his unbroken arm, waited for Valiant Heart to speak.

The director closed the file and pushed it to one side. She made eye contact with her disgraced employee and drummed on the table with both hooves.

"I don't even know where to begin." she said at last. "I guess I should start by telling you that, by some miracle, the princesses agreed to let me deal with you. Celestia was not happy, by the way. She even threatened me with the sack."

Shell said nothing. He hung his head and looked at the floor, which didn't please the director.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you." she said. Shell straightened himself and looked at her. "You're being charged with:" she opened the file again and flicked to a page. "-use of excessive force, trespassing, insubordination, witness intimidation, breaking and entering, torture and treason. That's enough to get you exiled whoever the victim is, but you went and made an element of harmony the victim. Any other illegal activity will be unearthed during the inquiry too, you can be sure of that. I wouldn't even be surprised if they nailed you for mail fraud."

Shell croaked: "I wanted answers."

Valiant Heart cast her eyes around the room. She drew a large breath in through her nose and released it slowly. She called to the guard and told him to leave the room, which he did. She waited until the door closed before speaking.

"Yes, I heard you scooped up a pretty tough case, but no jury in the world is going to accept that as a defense. Not even the best lawyer in the country is going to want to defend you either, so this is how it's going to happen: you're going to plead guilty to all charges, and with mitigating circumstances, you'll get a lifetime exile."

"Mitigating circumstances?"

"Madness, specifically. We have doctors and co-workers that will testify to that effect." she said. Shell bowed his head again. "I don't care that you don't like it. I have to protect the reputation of the ECMB, which, by the way, is already in shreds thanks to you. The story will be that the stress of the case got to you and you went insane. Why else would you torture an element of harmony, knowing what would happen if you did? Best-case scenario is that you get exiled and in a month, everyone will have forgotten this even happened."

"Exiled to where."

"I haven't decided. In fact, let's make it your choice. It has to be beyond the boarders of Equestria. You could cross the Great Sea for all I care, but make no mistake, you don't want to think about what happens if they find you here."

"The north." Shell said. "I want to go north."

The director shrugged. "Your choice."

It was two minutes to four. Twilight and I stood in a very empty corridor of alabaster and amethyst, which amplified every noise. Our breathing, our hooves on the floor, coughs. We waited to hear the sound of a door opening and closing, followed by the sound of Maddie's heavy hoofsteps.

Our relationship became markedly frayed after Shell's violent visit to the Apples. I spent the whole night at Sweet Apple Acres, sitting, waiting, expecting Spyglass to turn up at any moment. Applejack wouldn't speak to me, and wouldn't let Applebloom speak to me either, but I didn't leave. How could I leave, at a time when they needed me most.

Perhaps I had it wrong. Perhaps that was the time they needed me least, if they needed me at all. Ever since I stepped into their lives, I'd brought nothing to them except misfortune and despair. I couldn't keep using Applebloom's rescue to excuse the ruin I had caused.

I went about everything the wrong way. Everything I did led to that moment when Shell attacked the Apples. A good man would have acted differently, acted in a way that kept his friends safe, not sparing so much as a single thought for himself. It was a disaster of my own making, and I couldn't see that until it was too late.

The morning following the attack, I made towards Carousel Boutique. I didn't sleep that night. Twilight didn't either, too busy interrogating Shell. I told Rarity what happened, and to spread the news to the other elements. I decided that, while I might have wanted to be around Applejack, she didn't need me. None of the Apple family needed me. I was unwanted by my friends, and wanted by my enemies.

For the first time in my life, I despised myself.

I went to Twilight's castle after visiting Rarity. After the guilt, anger and lack of sleep, the castle looked more imposing than ever. Threatening, but it didn't compare to Twilight that morning. After Spike let me in, I wandered to the grand study. Twilight was there, but Shell was nowhere to be seen. I thought for a moment that she killed him.

We exchanged no words as I shut the door and took the chair opposite her. The desk was devoid of government work. It was just me and her. It was like she made sure there was nothing to distract her from me.

"How are the Apples." she said in monotone.

"I don't know ma'am. They don't want to talk to me." I said. "How's Shell."

"Forget Shell for the moment." she said. "For now, this conversation is about you and the Apples."

I swallowed and said: "I'm sorry."

"I'm sure you are, but that changes nothing." she said. "You see what's happening, don't you. I told you weeks ago. Your activities are starting to get your friends hurt. My friends hurt. The worst part is that I don't know what to do. That's why you're here today, Anon. We're going to figure out what's to be done."

"With me?"

"With everything." she said. "As I heard it from Shell, he was at a sticking point in his case. He thought he could make progress if he went after the Apples."

"Knowing what would happen if he got caught?"

"Apparently so."

"Nobody could have predicted he would do something so extreme."

"You sent him off the hinges Anon. He told me about all your notes, the places you'd been, the ponies you'd killed, the information you were feeding him. You taunted him. Don't try to act innocent when you're half the reason he did what he did."

She was right, in a sense. I pushed him over the edge. I egged him on, daring him to try and find me. Was it all that surprising that he would torture a witness to do it?

"Enough about him. Now I need to decide what to do with you." she said. "Before I start, I accept that everything that's happened has happened because you saved Applebloom. You did a good thing, and then bad events beyond reasonable control developed, but the way you handled them was poor."

I waited for a moment and said: "What do you want me to do?"

"You tell me. Considering your future hangs in the balance, I thought you should have a say."

"Well, uh, that's a big question."

"We have time."

I thought in silence for a minute. Twilight, considering what happened last night, was remarkably calm in my presence. Maybe she was too tired to be angry after turning Shell's night into a waking nightmare.

"I know you won't believe me, but the Apples should be safe from anyone else from now on. Shell is out of the picture, Spyglass wouldn't dare touch the Apples. I have no real enemies other than the Grey Arbitress, and as long as I keep her happy, she won't move against the Apples."

"So what are you suggesting we do?"

"I am going to keep away from the Apples for now, and hope that I can talk to them in the future, try to undo everything I've caused." I said. "In the meantime, if you're still in this, we keep fighting."

Twilight twirled her hoof through her mane and rubbed her eyes. They were red and bagged. I would find mine the same if I bothered to look in a mirror.

She yawned and smacked her lips a couple of times, and said: "How can you possibly undo what's happened."

"I don't know. I'm still figuring it out. Maybe I can't undo it, but I need to tell them I'm sorry. I need to tell them I didn't want anything like this to happen. I need to tell that that they mean too much to me to just part ways. I need to tell her that I lo-"

There are moments in life when it's not so much as a penny dropping as a skip of bricks. If we're lucky, we can go through life never experiencing a realisation so profound that it renders you incapable of speech, movement, or even thought. It's the feeling, mostly, that gets me. The sensation of butterflies, sweating, the feeling that your heart is thumping against your ribcage.

I put a hoof to my forehead. I almost fell out of my chair due to dizziness. It wasn't that I couldn't believe what I said, it was that I couldn't believe that I allowed myself to say it. All those months, and I hadn't let myself believe the one thing I believe more than anything else.

I loved Applejack.

"You-" Twilight said. Her mouth hung open for a moment. She closed it and sighed, slumping deep into her chair. "I was wondering which one of you would realise it first. For all Applejack's honesty, she's very dishonest to herself about her feelings."

"You mean-"

"-she loves you? Of course she does you idiot." she said. "Now do you understand why I'm helping you? I meant what I said, Anon. I can't let you die because of how much it would hurt Applejack. She would never be the same again. It would hurt all of us, directly or indirectly. I can't let that happen. Not a day goes by where I don't ask myself how it happened, but it is what it is. I can't argue with the heart."

"I, uh, I-" I said. My mouth was dry, lips salty. I thought I was going to vomit. "I... I gotta go. Oh God, I gotta go. Oh shit. I need some air."

I stood as best I could, which amounted to hyperventilating while staggering. The room was so hot.

"There's a stairwell. Lets go to the roof." she said as she got up. I fought to get my jacket off, and threw it in a corner.

Wind whipped through our manes. There was no sun today, the pegasi forecast storms to irrigate the land following the arid summer solstice. They worked to blanket the land in storm clouds from here to the horizon. By six o' clock this afternoon, a planned thirty millimeters of rainfall would have hit the ground.

I leaned against the ramparts, looking out over Ponyville. I could see everything from Sweet Apple Acres to Fluttershy's cottage. Ponies scurried about the town, oblivious to the tragedy of last night. Twilight stood behind me, examining the architecture.

"I come up here when I need to clear my head." she said, gesturing out at the town. "Seeing all this helps me to forget about all the extraneous things in my life. Reminds me of why I became a princess. Reminds me to focus on the essentials."

She walked up beside me and leaned on the ramparts.

"Thought it might help." she said.

"Well, I don't feel sick anymore."

A period of silence passed between us. I thought about the essentials, or rather, I tried to figure out what they were. At first, I thought about was the Grey Arbitress, and how everything seemed to link back to her. Perhaps she qualified as an essential. Then I thought of the Apples, and then Applebloom, and then Applejack.

I wondered if I really did love her. It was so out-of-character for me to outright say something like that. I wasn't thinking when I said it, which meant it came from the heart, and if it came from the heart, then I meant it. Only when my brain caught up with my mouth did I realise what I was saying. I had, by accident, allowed myself to fall in love with someone.

I always thought it would be impossible, for me to love a pony like I would love another human. But these beings from another world, they grow on you in the most subtle of ways. It was like shadows growing and shrinking as the day progresses. You could watch the shadows, never take your eye off of them, and think they were static, unchanging and permanent. Take your eyes off them for a while, however, and when you come back, the change is obvious. I was blindsided by the imperceptible transition from admiration to love. Six and a half months in this world, and I still surprise myself.

My thoughts turned to Applejack again. What did it mean for us if she loved me in kind? What did it mean if she didn't? I wondered how much would change. Perhaps everything would change, or maybe nothing.

I didn't know what to do, or even what to think. I had never fallen in love with a human, let alone a pony. I had no past experience to call on that might have helped me through the revelation. Not only that, but there was still a piece of me, buried in the back of my mind that found intimacy with ponies abhorrent.

That voice became quieter as the months passed me by. I understood that I was different from ponies - I even embraced the fact, knowing that however ordinary I might have appeared, I had something that set me apart from everyone. I felt special, unique.

Yet, at the same time, I saw that humans were not dissimilar from ponies. We are different on the outside, of course, but that isn't important. At the core, at heart, we aren't that different at all.

They say that love is blind. I'm inclined to agree.

The sickening surprise passed and I had some fresh air in my lungs, so I felt a little better. I was still tired, the whole left side of my face stung, and some old wounds had reopened from struggling under Shell's restricting spells. I should have felt awful, especially after the bombshell that was last night, but I wasn't a wreck. A mess, sure, but at least I was a lucid mess.

"Help me to understand." Twilight said. She brought me to my senses and I turned to her. "How did it happen? You and AJ I mean."

"Why does anything happen, ma'am." I said while shrugging. "I saw a bed of flowers on the way here. There were exactly seven different species in that bed. Isn't that amazing? Of all the possible combinations of species, there were seven. What were the odds of that?""

"I don't follow."

"Some things are just down to chance." I said. "The likelihood of there being seven species in the flowerbed, the likelihood of AJ and I seeing each other as more than friends. Just because it's specific, doesn't mean it was orchestrated. There isn't always a grand design. Like you said earlier: it is what it is."

"What're you going to do about it then." said Twilight. "You need to sort out this chaos before it gets worse. And before you ask: no, I'm not going to talk to her for you. It's not my place to interfere, it's up to you and AJ. If you don't, what's the point of winning a normal life from the Grey Arbitress? You need AJ to show you how to live it."

"I'll find a way. I always do."

Another, smaller, period of silence filled the air. It was whisked away by the wind and tiny droplets of rain. The pegasi were starting the storm.

"So, my little field agent. What's the next step in your master plan?"

"I've found another player." I said. "One of my oldest friends. He's coming by tomorrow at exactly four in the afternoon, through the deadlocked service entrance to your castle."

"He has something to offer?"

I nodded. "At least I hope he does."

Sensing the imminent downpour, we left the roof. We passed Spike in the hallway, who offered us a selection of biscuits and teas. We both declined.

Twilight walked with me to the front entrance of the castle. Applejack needed Twilight and the rest of her friends now more than ever, so Twilight would head there and stay for a few hours. She said she would tell me how the Apples were holding up in a mental sense, but nothing else. A problem of your making, she said, so a problem you're going to fix on your own. Mostly, I was happy to do things on my own. Not this time.

Just before we want our separate ways, I called to her. She turned around and gave me her best exasperated look.

"I've got something for you." I said, picking it out. Twilight eyed the small plastic bag with skepticism. "This is gravel. I picked it out of my hooves the morning following my last meeting with the Grey Arbitress. I noticed when they first dragged me in was that, outside the building, was a gravel path. Do you think if we analysed this, we could find out where in the city it came from?"

"It's possible." she said, levitating it out of my hoof. "Of course, it might turn out to be a common type used everywhere, but it's worth a try."

"Thank you ma'am." I said, as she walked away. "Tomorrow. Four o' clock."

She waved one hoof, and did not look back.

Someone knocked on the door to her office. Not now, she thought. I want nothing more than to sit and try to forget the whole ugly business.

"Come in." she said.

The doorhandle turned and Spyglass entered her office. He had never been to the director's office before. Seeing it now, he fancied it as his own. One day, he thought. One day.

"Ma'am." Spyglass said, offering a brief nod.

Valiant Heart raised an eyebrow. She didn't remember the last time Spyglass came to her office. He took the seat that Shell had occupied earlier in the day.

"Supervisory Special Agent Spyglass." she said. Valiant Heart liked Spyglass. He was good at his job, didn't complain, and could be trusted to get on with whatever he was assigned. He just buckled down and got to it.

"What brings about this impromptu meeting?" she asked. She already had her suspicions as to why he came to her now, of all the times.

"I'd like to take a leave of absence." he said. Valiant Heart shifted in her seat. This caught her off-guard. She sighed and spun her chair a little, tapping on the armrests.

"Why is that?" she said.

"I-" he began. "-I want to make sure Shell gets set-up okay, wherever it is he's going."

She narrowed her eyes and said: "We already have ponies that will escort him to the border. I need you here right now."

"No, I mean, I want to make sure he, y'know, can cope with it. The transition and everything. He doesn't have a family that can help him through this, and nobody in the entire kingdom is gonna want to have anything to do with him. We've... grown close, over the last couple of months. I just want some time off to help him get settled into his new life. A week would do. One week of unpaid LOA. That's all I'm asking for."

"With Shell going, your workload is going to get bigger. You can't lose a week right now."

"I understand ma'am. I'll do eighty hours next week to make it up if I have to, but I really think Shell needs someone to help him through this, and I'm probably the only pony alive that would lift a hoof to help him right now."

Valiant Heart smiled inside, but her expression remained unchanged. Someone that would stick with Shell at such a time was a friend indeed.

"You know, there's a promotion up for grabs, now that we're down one Special Agent In-Charge." she said. "I need to make a decision soon as to who gets it. If I were to, hypothetically speaking, offer it to you, you'd need to be here so that you could accept it. If you weren't here, I'd have to give it to someone else. Someone less deserving."

"Let them have it." replied Spyglass, before adding: "Ma'am."

Valiant Heart gave a heavy sigh and shook her head. She clopped her hooves together a few times before speaking.

"Alright. You win. One week of unpaid leave, starting on the day of Shell's exile. I take it you will want to travel with him?" she said. Spyglass gave a firm nod. "I'll let his escort know you'll be tagging along."

"Thank you ma'am." Spyglass said. "Where is he going?"

"North." she said. "Very, very far north."

I went to the hospital following my discussion with Twilight. The doctor found twenty-three distinct punctures in the left side of my face - small enough to heal without the need for surgery. He told me Celestia must have been watching over me, because it was a miracle I still had two eyes in my head.

A miracle, I thought. No, good doctor. There were no miracles that night, and no Celestia keeping watch. If she was, she didn't seem to care.

The rest of the day passed unmarked. I ate a late breakfast at the Settle Inn, which didn't taste of much. I lunched at three, alone in my flat. It didn't taste of much either. I cleaned up, bolted the door, pulled the blinds, and turned out the lights. My bed creaked as I sat on it.

And I cried. I moaned and lamented in the dark. All the pain and torment I had bottled up for the last sixteen hours poured out from my mouth and eyes. I sobbed so hard for so long that soon, there were no tears left. I felt defeated.

After half an hour of uninterrupted self-loathing, I found the composure to fix myself a drink. My arm trembled as I poured tonic over gin and ice. No lime. I didn't trust myself with knives at that moment.

I finished it in three gulps and went to bed. Rain hammered on the windows. Sleep did not come easy.

As I fell asleep to the sound of driving rain, I woke to it as well. I grunted at the alarm clock - half five. It was strange for me to wake without the sound of a buzzing clock-radio in my ear.

I felt better, but not by much. I stumbled into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. Bagged and bloodshot eyes, unkempt mane, an enormous gauze over the left side of my face. A mess if I ever saw one.

I stared at myself for a long time, wondering how was it that I managed to fuck up my life this spectacularly. The world shouldn't be so unrelenting in its tragedy, I thought.

I took a shower, not caring about getting the gauze wet. After a few minutes, I ripped it off due to the maddening itchiness.

I examined myself in the mirror following my shower, and saw the extent of the damage to my face for the first time. It was bad. They were like acne scars, but redder, deeper and elongated. My coat hairs were absent in the affected areas.

I dried myself off and wandered to the front door to pick up the morning paper. I stood at the door for a few seconds, confused at the distinct lack of newspaper sitting on my doormat. I glanced at my watch, which read two minutes to six.

I went back to the kitchen and found the empty glass from last night. I rinsed it once, made another gin and tonic, and sat behind my writing desk.

I thought long and hard about the Apples.

By the time I had mustered the courage to venture outside, it was gone ten. It wasn't quite silent as I meandered through the alleys and streets, the vague goal of eating dinner on my mind. Couples passed me by, either coming or going to a dinner date.

I found a bench and sat there for a while, wasting away the minutes engaged in pony watching, guessing where they were going or where they had been. A stallion in a jacket like mine walked by. Red stain on his lower lip, slight creasing in his clothing, squinting at the developing darkness of the night. He smelt of sweat and food.

Red wine stain, creases from sitting down, still adjusting his vision to the night. Perspiration, unlikely due to physical exertion, likely due to nervousness. Faint aroma of asparagus. Expensive food. Probably coming home from a first date.

He must have seen me staring at him, because he stopped walking. I stood and paced towards him.

"Did it go well?" I asked. He looked even more nervous now. He cleared his throat.

"Sorry, uh, pal, can I help you?" he asked.

"The date." I said. "How did it go?"

There was a lull in the conversation. He looked left and right, then over his shoulder. I guessed he expected me to mug him. Satisfied that it was just me and him, he turned back to me.

"Uh, good?" he said. "Sorry pal, should I know you?"

I chuckled and walked past him. "No. No you shouldn't."

"Hey!" he said. I turned enough to see him with one eye. "You're that investigator, right?"

"Not for much longer."

I left him in the darkness and made towards the Settle Inn.

Black Bean's place was less disgusting at night. The furnishings made the extraordinary transition from tasteless to moody following sunset. It was the time of day when his regulars came out of the woodwork and sat themselves around tables and on barstools. They'd grumble about their health, their jobs, their monarchs, and their foals if they were unfortunate enough have them. It was the kind of place that stallions go after work to avoid going home to their wives.

I sat on my own at the far end of the bar, nursing my fifth lager. My four empties surrounded me, the dregs of foam forming a cobweb in the bottoms of the glasses. I stared into the middle distance, taking the occasional gulp. Rock-bottom. I had found it at last.

Black Bean offered a handful of generic sympathetic words. It didn't take much to tell that I was an animal in pain. He didn't ask what was destroying me, because it was obvious. I was destroying myself. He'd seen plenty of other stallions who would sit alone on a barstool, beset on all sides by glasses that once contained alcohol. Some might have had a messy divorce, some might have lost their job. The reason didn't matter in the end, because they all wound up on that same barstool, drowning their problems and beginning the spiraling descent into depression.

"Thought I'd find you here."

I craned my head to the right. Rainbow Dash planted herself on the adjacent stool and shouted for some cocktail I had never heard of.

I went back to staring at nothing in particular. "Wouldn't drink that with a rented mouth."

"Uh-huh." she said. "Why's that?"

"'Cause Black Bean's making it."

She leaned on the counter and supported her chin with her hooves. Black Bean was in the process of making the cocktail when Rainbow Dash shouted for a cider instead. He shrugged, downed the half-made cocktail, and produced a cider from the fridge. I told him to put it on my tab.

We sat in silence for a moment. Black Bean went back to polishing glasses and nodding absently at his customers while they talked at him. I wondered if it was worse to be the pony with the problems, or the bartender that had to listen to them.

Rainbow Dash shuffled a little on her seat, then delivered a swift jab to my ribs.

"Fuck off you blue lezzer. What the fuck was that for?" I said.

"Stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself." she said. "What happened to the old Anon? Y'know, the one that takes everything on the chin and keeps moving forward. Did he die last night and get replaced by this?"

"Fuck you." I said. "This is where I need to be right now."

"This is the opposite of what you need. No, what you need is a cold shower and kick up the ass."

I turned on the stool and looked straight at her. Before, she could not see the glass scarring on the left side of my face. Her hoof came to her mouth as she saw it.

"Do you know what it's like to be helpless? Like, really, really helpless?" I said. My voice cracked and I sniffed. "Do you know what it's like watching your only friends in the whole fucking world get tortured? Do you know what it's like to get all the fucking blame? DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S FUCKING LIKE TO JUST BE ME FOR A DAY!?"

I rested my head on the counter and let the waterworks flow for the second time today. I got the feeling that the whole bar was staring at me, but I didn't care. They didn't matter.

Rainbow Dash pursed her lips and said: "She doesn't blame you."

I lifted my head off of the counter and looked at her. My eyes were sore, my face was sore. The pain probably extended to my heart and soul as well.

"Let's walk." she said, looking around herself. I nodded, threw some bits on the counter, and followed Rainbow Dash out into the street.

I thought about glancing at my watch, but decided that it wasn't important to know the time, so I didn't. The concept of night, day, and normal waking hours didn't apply to me at the moment. I ate when I was hungry and slept when I was tired.

The night was stuffy, like last night. I took off my jacket and draped it over my back. I rubbed at the scars on my chest, thinking they might disappear if I rubbed hard enough.

I had collected so many blemishes over the months. Most were physical, easy enough to cover with an article of clothing and forget about. Mental scars were different. The more you try to mask them, the worse they develop. They fester and suppurate in your mind like a disease, slowly changing you, until all that's left is a husk of your former self. Then you see the problem for what it is, but by then, it's too late. You're already changed.

We came up on a park bench, where Rainbow Dash sat. She turned to me, and waited until I took a seat next to her. I fell into it.

"It's a huge fucking mess, Rainbow, a huge mess." I said. "And I fucking made it. She should hate me, along with the rest of this shitty world."

Rainbow Dash was silent for a short time. She chewed the inside of her cheek and let her gaze wander about herself.

"Well." she said. "We all do crazy things for our friends. I should know."

"'Friends'." I said. "I don't deserve 'em."

She scowled. "Why do you think that?"

"Look at who you're talking to. I'm a morally bankrupt thug with a fucked up face. I do awful things, all the time. The worst part is that I don't even care."

"If you didn't care, you wouldn't be alone at that bar while drinking yourself into a coma. Besides, even if all that were true, AJ sees past all that." she said. "You think she hates you, Anon? You've got it backwards."

I tilted my head to her. No wry smile, no raised eyebrow, no smug grin. A sincere Rainbow Dash is a rare sight.

"Does she really-"

"-yes." Rainbow Dash interrupted. "Yes she does."

Rainbow Dash moved to her hooves. It was late, or early, depending on your viewpoint.

"I never thought I'd be giving you this advice, but don't give up just yet, Anon." she said. "You've shrugged off everything before now. You can do it again."

I sighed and stared at the ground. Rainbow Dash sent another hoof into my ribs. She told me that was for calling her a lesbian. She took off into the night, leaving me alone.

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.

Twilight rested on her haunches while I paced the corridor. The morning following my conversation with Rainbow Dash I spent guzzling coffee and doing my best to mask the reddening scars on my face. It took half a tub of concealer, and large amounts of antiseptic before I got frustrated and decided it was a wasted effort. I studied myself in the mirror for a few minutes, telling myself over and over again that this was my new face. I, and the rest of the world, would just have to get used to it.

I wasn't paying attention to Twilight, being too absorbed in my own thoughts. My mind felt stretched, simultaneously thinking about how to defeat the Grey Arbitress, and what I should say to the Apples the next time I see them. The result was that I couldn't focus on anything. It frustrated me, but my pacing frustrated Twilight more.

"Stop walking." she said, getting up. I stopped for a moment and glanced at my watch. One minute to four.

"Aren't you nervous?" I asked.

"Not very. Remember that it's your life that's on the line, not mine. Not to mention that you've got a lot on your plate right now." she said. "Speaking of which, what're you doing about it. AJ, I mean."

"Still thinking, and what are you? My mother? I could do without you reminding me that it's a problem every five minutes. I fucking know it's a problem."

"Well since you're obviously not looking out for yourself, someone has to."

I laughed and brought my hoof to the left side of my face. "You call this looking out for me? You exploded a wall in my face."

"Don't ever speak to me like that again." she said. "I'm sorry I caused that damage, but need I remind you of how things could have turned out that night?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. Just remember that houses are usually built with doors so that, y'know, you don't have to make your own holes in the walls."

We heard a door open and slam in the stairwell adjacent to us. I looked at my watch again. Five seconds past four. Hoofsteps, heavy ones, made their ascent of the stairs. They became louder and louder until they were just behind the door to the stairwell, where they stopped.

Two sharp knocks rung in the halls. I didn't figure Maddie for the knocking type. Perhaps he made an exception for Princess Twilight Sparkle.

"Come in, we don't have all day." said Twilight.

Maddie made his entrance with as much care as a bomb-defusal squaddie, and a forehead sweatier than a piece of warm cheese. Two seconds in Twilight's presence and he looked ready to change his name and run for the hills. Already I could see him looking for exits and mentally planning his escape should things turn sour.

"Maddie." I said, not moving from where I stood. His chest deflated in a huge sigh of relief when he caught sight of me. "Glad you could join us. I was wondering if you'd come."

"Almost didn't. Don't make me regret it." he said, marching in to the corridor. He wore a saddlebag, which I was keen to poke my nose into.

"This is Princess Twilight Sparkle." I said, and motioned to Twilight. "Ma'am, this is Maddie. Let's all play nice now."

Maddie offered a short bow but never took his eyes off of Twilight, like he thought she would blindside him with a hoof to the ribs if he let his guard down. Twilight kept a steady eye on Maddie in kind, probably wondering if he was a relative of Big Mac.

Eventually, we all got bored of our minor Mexican standoff, and Twilight invited us to the lounge. I made small talk with Maddie as we went, trying to set him at ease. He asked me how my face got so many craters in it. Life happened, I told him. He seemed to understand.

Maddie and I parked ourselves on one couch, though given his size, Maddie needed his own. He ran a hoof over the armrest and kneaded the material for a while, feeling the decadence of the furnishings. Twilight levitated a decanter of very dark and very expensive brandy onto the coffee table, along with three crystal snifters. I didn't recall her breaking those out for me last time I was there.

Nobody had said a word yet, so I decided to change that.

"Gone off bourbon?" I asked.

Twilight poured Maddie and I a measure, and then a generous one for herself. She took a sip, stared at the glass for a moment, and put it back on the table.

"No. Brandy is just easier to serve." she said. Her eyes wandered to the saddlebags that Maddie placed on the table. Maddie himself had not touched his drink, preferring to sit rigid as a plank. Maddie, that's what the drink is for, I thought. Just drink it and loosen up.

Seeing that the icebreaker wasn't going so well, I transitioned clumsily into a more detailed introduction.

"Twilight, this is Maddie. We've helped each other out in the past. Let's say he's a private investigator."

"Charmed." said Twilight, offering a nod in his direction. Maddie said nothing. Another painful silence.

"Maddie." I said, nudging him. He looked at me with an empty expression. "Find anything?"

The glaze on his eyes lifted and he swallowed, glancing between Twilight and the saddlebags. He cleared his throat, reached for them, and pulled out some papers.

"How much d'ya already know about Ashen Smoke?" he asked us. I shrugged. Twilight gave a brief summary of her career, up until the day she disappeared. Maddie shook his head.

"Mostly right." he said, and brought a hoof to his chin. "Remind me, why did she resign as director?"

"Health reasons." Twilight said. Maddie raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, accordin' to public record." Maddie said, leafing through his papers. He pulled out a couple of stapled sheets and passed them to Twilight. "Read 'em."

Twilight took the papers and narrowed her eyes as she read them, shaking her head frequently.

"She was fired?" Twilight asked. She almost passed the papers to me, before snatching them back. "Hang on a moment, these documents came from the Canterlot Archives. I'm not even allowed in there without a damned good reason. How'd you get them?"

I didn't think it was possible to sweat so profusely that it was visible, but Maddie managed it.

"Twilight, where Maddie is concerned, we agreed to no questions asked." I said, glancing at Maddie. He looked ready to faint. "For fuck's sake Maddie, drink your damned drink."

Twilight relented, and eased back into the couch. She took on a mouthful of brandy, almost emptying the glass. I grabbed the document and flicked through it.

"'Under clause 11c of the ECMB management contract, it is required that Ms. Ashen Smoke discontinue her directorship of the ECMB immediately following the official internal inquiry.'"

"'Clause 11c.'" Twilight said. "It's something to do with mental instability. An employee found to be mentally unfit must either resign voluntarily or get sacked. What were the exact details of her dismissal?"

I looked through the document again. "Here we go. Apparently she was 'displaying signs of zealotry, fanaticism and general extremism' over a particular case."

"What case?"

"Doesn't say." I said with a scowl. "There are some coworker reports here too. General feeling I get is: Ashen Smoke got super invested in a certain case and assigned something like a quarter of all the ECMB's field-agents to it. Everything else ground to a halt, active and promising cases got closed prematurely. Higher-up's got concerned and cut her loose."

Twilight rubbed her head and said: "Why the secrecy then? Why cite health reasons as the official cause for resignation?"

"Probably because committing the truth to public record would mess with the ECMB's reputation." I said. I took a sip of brandy before continuing. "Imagine how the public would react if they knew the director of the ECMB got fired because she was mentally unstable. They'd wonder who the fuck promoted her to director in the first place, and then their necks would be on the line."

"A cover-up to protect the ol' ECMB's reputation?" asked Maddie. He took a massive gulp of his drink and wiped his mouth with his arm. "Sounds like somethin' they'd do alright."

A large, comfortable silence descended, each of us absorbed in our own thoughts. Mine turned to some of the more basic questions. Questions like, did we even have the right mare? We still had not determined the identity of the Grey Arbitress beyond all doubt, or even beyond reasonable doubt. Twilight was thinking the same thing, because she took the words straight out of my mouth.

"Are we sure it's her? If not, then we're wasting our time." she said.

Maddie rummaged through the saddlebags again, producing another ECMB document. I could tell from the formatting that is was a field report.

"This thing right here was published seven years ago. From way back when Ashen Smoke were just a lowly little intelligence officer." he said, waving it around. The drink was beginning to have some effect. "In them days, when the organisation was half the size it is now, they assigned ponies of importance codenames."

He opened the wallet to the first page and dropped it on the table. Twilight and I peered at it.

Precedence: Priority (P)

To: Canterlot Branch

Contact: IO Grey Arbitress

Approved By: HRH Princess Celestia

Drafted By: IO Grey Arbitress

Case ID: 00198863

Synopsis Of Facts: Report drafted and submitted by Intelligence Officer Grey Arbitress following previously submitted (see case ID 00198861) report detailing...

I leaned back into the couch and Twilight did the same.

"Well it's not definite, I think that's clear, but it's a damn sight better than a newspaper clipping." I said, and glanced to my right. "Nice work Maddie."

"N' that's just the tip of the iceberg. I don't got 'em, but there's more references to Grey Arbitress in other reports."

"So we can work under the assumption that Ashen Smoke is the Grey Arbitress?" I asked, looking between Maddie and Twilight.

We argued for a minute over the implications. When we got bored of that, we speculated on her motives for setting up an organisation like Python. Twilight said she spent a few hours browsing her private library looking for references to the name, but found nothing.

Twilight left the lounge, saying that she would be back in a few moments with something she made progress on. The gravel, I thought.

Maddie waited until Twilight's hoofsteps were inaudible before he breathed a massive sigh of relief.

"This is so damned heavy Anon." he said. "Six months ago I was just a fuckin' information broker. Now I'm drinkin' some kinda expensive shit with a princess and talkin' about bringin' down some mysterious mare. S' almost funny."

"I don't see the humour." I said, refilling my glass.

"Maybe if you took that stick outta your ass you would."

"Says the pony that froze up in front of Twilight. You looked like you expected her to shoot you in the face at any moment."

He didn't have a comeback for that one. I smiled inside and kept a neutral expression.

"I read your plan. For dealin' with Spirit Sight, that is."

"Did you guess my MO yet?"

"I didn't, but Stoke gave me his best guess. I gotta say, if he's right, you got a bright future in the assassination biz. There ain't many ponies out there that could've come up with somethin' like that, and there's plenny a' ponies what would pay a lotta money for your skills."

"Too bad." I said. "After this thing is wrapped up, I'm gone. Finished. Can't be dealing with this life anymore."

Maddie shook his head, as though it was surprising news. "Damn shame Anon."

The train rumbled and creaked across open plains and over hills while the passengers swayed and tried to keep themselves upright. There were only four ponies in the carriage. Two enormous unicorns that looked as though they had seen their fair share of fights stood behind a cuffed Shell, intently staring at his ears. Spyglass sat opposite him, surveying the landscape that became more barren and more cold and more arid as the train racked up the miles. Beyond the mountains would be worse, Spyglass imagined.

"Why north?" Spyglass asked. Shell lifted his head from off the seat and shot him a vacant look, before gazing out of the window.

"I ever tell you I was married?" Shell asked, not looking at Spyglass, who cocked his head. "Little over four years ago. Dainty little Pegasus mare. Prettiest thing I ever saw. I told 'er that as often as I could."

"You never mentioned this before." Spyglass said, trying to imagine Shell being married to anything except the job. Shell kept talking as though Spyglass said nothing.

"We'd holiday in Glaciates, s' a town just a few miles over the northern border. I was never too fond a' the cold, but this mare couldn't get enough of it. Said she loved the taste a' the air, n' the feelin' a' ice buildin' up on 'er wings. Told 'er she were crazy, but that's part a' why I loved her."

"You separated?"

"Death tends to do that to a couple." said Shell, looking back to Spyglass, who immediately regretted starting the conversation. "We both had some annual leave, n' were plannin' on goin' to Glaciates, but a job interview meant I couldn't go anywhere. Told 'er since I had to stay in the city for a while that she could go and enjoy herself n' come back in a week. That were the plan, at least. The last time I saw 'er alive were as she hopped on a train to the north."

Spyglass let a few seconds pass before he dared ask: "What happened?"

"She were tryin' out a new pair a' flyin' goggles what I bought her just before she left. She loved it, flyin' that is. Couldn't get enough a' the wind in 'er mane." Shell said. "There's a gorge 'bout two miles west a' the town. Runs about two hundred feet deep and fifty feet wide for somethin' like three miles. Loadsa winding turns n' stuff. Good fer stretchin' yer wings, so she said. She went out there n' got caught in a blizzard mid-flight. Broke 'er wing. Froze to death. She froze brother, alone and hurtin'. Blamed myself for the longest time, y'know. I thought-"

He cleared his throat and tried to rub his eyes, but his hooves were cuffed to the seat.

"-I thought it was my fault. I felt like an accessory to the crime, like I'd somehow enabled it. I hated myself for that, couldn't stand to be in my own skin. I hid it well, though. Buried it inside me where nobody else would ever see it. It hurt, real bad like, to keep a memory like that all locked up, but over the years I got used to the pain."

Spyglass had his mouth slightly parted and hardly blinked.

"S' the thing with a grief so cripplin', Spyglass. Just acknowledgin' that it exists ain't enough, it don't give you no comfort. Best I can do, best anyone can do, is make it a part a' you. Keep it, feed it, water it. Marshal it, and know that it's always gonna be with you no matter what."

"I'm sorry." said Spyglass.

"S' okay." Shell said. "That's why I'm goin' north, Spyglass. She's the only pony who could ever love me at a time like this. I'm goin' north to be near her."

The door to the lounge opened and Maddie and I promptly shut up and looked at the door. Twilight stood there with an expandable file, giving us equal measures of her hard gaze. Her mouth opened for a moment, and then shut.

I raised my glass to my mouth as she retook her seat on the couch. I caught a whiff of something extremely pungent, and stared at the bottom of the snifter. There was some sediment whirling in the bottom, and the smell coming off of it was strong enough to build a parking lot on. I didn't comment.

Twilight threw the file in my face. I almost spilled my drink.

"That's the gravel analysis. Do you know how long it took to compile that?" she asked. I rearranged the file and began leafing through it. "I'll give you a hint, I had to read city plans dating back fifty years to get a complete list of all the construction materials used in Canterlot today, because no recent version lists them all. And then I had to compare the sample you gave me with every kind in Canterlot."

"Sounds like you need to have a word with Her Royal Highness about record keeping. Hardly my fault if government officials are slacking on construction reports."

"No need to thank me." she spat, and poured herself enough brandy to float an aircraft carrier. "Anyway, that gravel was only used for three projects, because when it thawed following a freeze, it took on enough moisture to turn it to quicksand. Engineers deemed it too dangerous and stopped using it, but never bothered to completely resurface the places it was used due to expense, so they left it and, basically, hoped it wouldn't ever be a problem."

I closed the file and gave it to Maddie and said: "These are all residential areas."

"Is that surprising?" asked Twilight.

"Kinda. I figured they might be set up somewhere quieter, where there's fewer ponies around that're gonna stumble upon their business."

Twilight pursed her lips and stared into the middle distance and nodded rhythmically like a drinking bird executive toy.

"I need to summarise all this or my head is gonna explode. Gimme a pen and some paper." I said. Twilight glanced over her right shoulder and levitated some writing supplies onto the table. I took the pen in my mouth and chewed it while getting my thoughts in order. I began scribbling my disjointed version of events on the paper in the order that they came to me, using arrows to establish some kind of timeline. When I was done, I spat out the pen and held up the paper.

I said: "Ashen Smoke, director of the ECMB, gets sacked for mental instability over an unknown case and then disappears without a trace. In less than seven months, she recruits no fewer than six other ponies and forms Python, an organisation who's long-term goals are unknown. Around seven months following her resignation, I stumble across her and she employs me to find elusive ponies. Right so far?"

Twilight nodded. I looked at Maddie, who was nodding as well.

"About the ponies she sends you after." said Twilight. "You said they're all on a list that Zecora kept. What do they have in common?"

I paused for slightly too long, something that Twilight noticed. I had not yet told them about the relics. I had weighed the benefits against the risks, and found that keeping that information to myself was best.

"I asked. She didn't tell me. Maybe we'll find out someday."

"There wasn't anything distinctive about Blackthorn?" she said. I was about to ask her how she knew about him when she continued. "Shell was very talkative last night. Speaking of which, don't think I've forgotten about the crystal killer. I intend to speak to you about that in the near future."

I pretended she didn't say that last part.

"Blackthorn was very ordinary." I said while shrugging.

Maddie popped his neck and every other limb like he was getting ready to fight. Twilight tapped noiselessly on the armrest of her couch and looked around the room. Our discussion was winding down.

After some debating, we agreed on our next course of action. Maddie would continue to glean Canterlot Archives for information about Python and Ashen Smoke. Twilight would take care of the inquiry into Shell, making sure my name never came up. I, meanwhile, would investigate the locations where Twilight found the gravel matching that which came out of my hooves.

"One other thing." said Twilight. We were about to part ways and I was saying my farewells to Maddie when she spoke. "We're on our own side here. We stand apart from the ECMB, from Python, from the police and, officially, from the princesses as well. It's just us."

"What's your point?" I asked.

"I thought we needed our own identity."

"What, a team name?" asked Maddie. "This ain't a pub quiz."

"Perhaps not, but I make the rules."

"A little personal flair to this big mess." I laughed. "Go on then, what did you have in mind ma'am?"

"Osprey." she said. "We're Osprey."

Apex predators of the land and the air. There would be no winners in that fight, only the one that lost the least.