“Princess Twilight Sparkle, you’re under arrest.”

Twilight didn’t answer.

“I mean, it’s not official yet, but we’ll work on that pretty soon.” The stallion smiled. “To be honest, I’m not really sure what is going to happen once I throw the Royal Guards on you, but I’d be lying if I said I am not very curious about the whole thing. Aren’t you?”

Twilight growled.

Silence.

The stallion narrowed his eyes. “Ssssso… Do I take that as a ‘yes’?”

“You won’t get away with this, Money Bags!” Twilight said, struggling unsuccessfully against the ropes that held her hooves. “We won’t let you!”

“Uh-huh. Yeah.” Money Bags nodded, because he really liked saying ‘yes’ in different ways. “You know, that is literally the most cliché line you could have said here. I mean, wow. I was expecting something a little more original from the supposed genius Princess Twilight Sparkle.” He licked his lips and waved a hoof. “I mean, I don’t want to say this is disappointing, but…”

A pause.

“Okay,” he said, “I lied. This is extremely disappointing. You’re extremely disappointing.”

“And you’re a monster!”

“Hey, at least I’m original.”

The room was small, with white walls, a single table on the center, and two chairs. Twilight had been brought there by three bulky security guards—their necks were wider than watermelons—and then she had been tied down like a child with very irresponsible parents.

Right in front of her stood Money Bags, one of the top ten richest ponies in Equestria. He was a young pegasus with a green coat, wearing a black, flawlessly tailored suit.

And, of course, the three watermelonian guards were still in the room, and seven more equally muscular ponies had joined them. Twilight squinted at them—she was pretty sure at least one of them was a mare, but there was literally no way to tell. They all looked exactly the same.

“Interested?” Money Bags asked, following Twilight’s gaze. “My elite guard, as you can guess. I’m not too keen on leaving the rest of the casino with only the low-tier security, but then again, I don’t have an alicorn up there.” He raised an eyebrow. “You, on the other hoof…”

Twilight smirked. “Scared?”

“Uh-huh. Super-duper scared,” Money Bags replied, his voice monotone as a piano with only one key. “I mean, Celestia have mercy on me, I’m totally helpless here.” He turned around. “Right, guys? Am I helpless or what?!”

“YEAH!” they replied, all at once. The floor trembled a little.

Silence.

Money Bags licked his lips. “…Yeah, that’s not the answer I was going for. But, you know, I don’t really care. You go, guys.” He shook his head and looked at Twilight again. “Princess, those seven ponies can break a tree in half with just one kick. On the other hoof, you have wings and a very cute horn.” He arched an eyebrow. “I’m not entirely sure which one would win in a fight, but my bits would probably be bet on the team that’s not tied to a chair.”

“YEAH!”

“And my guards agree with me! Well, ain’t that amazing.”

Twilight’s frown didn’t disappear, although she tried to stop looking at the guards that much. Kind of hard, seeing how they took up half the room by sheer body mass alone. “Let me go!”

“I’m actually going to do that at some point, don’t worry.” Money Bags smiled. “After calling the Royal Guards so they can… throw you in the dungeons?” He tapped his chin a couple times. “Can they even do that? You’re royalty.”

“YEAH!”

“You know, guys? I’m really thankful for that input, but, um, try not to do that. You creep me out when you all talk at once”

“SORRY!”

“I’ll tell Princess Celestia what you did!” Twilight said, causing Money Bags to turn his attention back to her. “You’ll be the one going to jail!”

“Oh?” Money Bags cocked his head to the side. “Oh, yeah, that would make sense.” He frowned. “Well, I think it’s a safe bet to say that Princess Celestia will listen to you… But then again, you will have no proof of whatever you’re going to say, so I shouldn’t worry that much.” He smiled. “And, well, I’m not the one who just got caught doing something completely illegal, am I?”

“You—”

“But yeah, let’s stop with the chit-chat.” Money Bags rested his elbows on the table between them and pressed his hooves together under his chin. “You know we have your friend too, right?”

Twilight blinked. “…You have my friend?”

“Yes, the white and sassy one. Wearing a top hat. Very chic.” Money Bags sighed. “I’m going to be honest: we tried interrogating her first. It… didn’t work out.” He made a pout. “She hasn’t said a word. What an expressive face, though. You know, most ponies find it hard to back-talk somepony without opening their mouth, but she managed. ”

“Hah.” Twilight smirked. “You won’t get anything out of her.”

“Yeah, I agree. That’s why we’re interrogating you instead, because I’m pretty sure you will tell me the whole story.” Money Bags squinted. “You are going to tell me why you are attacking my casino, how many of you are here, and what your plan was all along. Then, you and I are going to work together to stop your friends before they do any more damage, and then we’ll call the authorities.” His lips pursed up in a smile. “And even though your friend might be far braver than she seems, she might have not noticed that my guys here can, as I already said, break a tree in one kick.”

Silence.

“And I’m pretty sure that your friend is not as tough as a tree,” Money Bags added.

Twilight gulped.

Some of the guards flexed their muscles subtly when they noticed that Twilight was looking at them. Money Bags’ smile got wider. The room suddenly felt way colder.

“…It’s a long story. It doesn’t even start with the casino, it starts with a bank, and—”

“Oh, don’t worry. We have time.”

Then Twilight sighed. “As almost everything weird that has happened to me since I moved to Ponyville,” she said, “it all started when, one morning, my friend Pinkie Pie kicked my door open…”

Author's Notes:

I tried to come up with a clever, attention-grabbing title for this story for hours.

I eventually gave up because I am a very dumb person.