An odd familiarity was the first thing I noticed upon opening my eyes. At first, it didn’t strike me that I felt…absolutely fine. I patted myself gingerly, half closing my eyes as I felt around the area where the fire poker had been thrust through my body, but no, no hole. No blood either and, most blessed relief, no pain. I started when I suddenly realised that both of my eyes were working, and amazing well at that. Better than they ever had in fact. Ah, well, I supposed, this is what the afterlife was going to be like after all. Damned dark though, where’s all the singing ponies, sunshine and rainbows ?

My dark grey coat along with a nondescript black and white striped mane and tail had never been particularly popular with the ladies, but I liked them. My black hooves were kept polished and my coat groomed properly. I was particularly proud of my large dark brown eyes which Meadow had fallen in love with, hey, I had to have at least one redeeming feature didn’t I ? Considering I was dead though, part of me was surprised that I was…well, still me I suppose.

Throughout my life I had been told that when we passed over ‘to the other side’, a subject rarely if ever mentioned in polite conversation, we would join with our ancestors in the Eternal Herd. My folks had never been particularly religious, indeed not many ponies were. Not really that surprising when you had two very real goddesses living in your homeland. Oh, sorry, I should have said ‘Princesses’. We were not supposed to refer to them in that manner as it is considered to be most impolite. Goddesses know why, I don’t !

A maverick thought struck me, where were these ‘all powerful’ alicorns when we needed them ? A small flame of anger flared and was just as quickly expunged as I shook my head in exasperation at my own foolish, selfish thought. Of course I realised that as much as Luna and Celestia were tremendously gifted and powerful, they were still flesh and blood. They had their limitations like any pony and I couldn’t expect them to be everywhere and know everything. I sighed and looked about me for Meadow, she should be here somewhere.

But of Meadow, there was no sign.

A barren landscape of coal black sand, dark hills and a slate grey sky stretched out around me in all directions as far as I could see. The ground had a uniform smoothness which gave little to my weight. There was no sign of any hoof prints around me, no sign of anything at all for that matter. I quickly began to feel incredibly small and isolated There I was in what looked like a vast black desert, the residual smell of burning wood still in my nostrils. With no idea where I was, I fought the rising tide of fear and panic in my heart. I was dead, that was for certain. Good, at least that was one fact I could tick off the mental check list, but what in the name of the goddess was I supposed to do now ?

What did I know about pony heaven and hell ? Not much. Damn it all, I wished I’d paid more attention in class when we talked about these things. Outside of school it was as if the subject of death, the afterlife or anything of that nature, simply didn’t exist. Unless one went the temple of the two sisters, but who ever went there except for weddings and, goddess forgive, funerals ? This sort of thing happened to other ponies, not to me, no sir ! But here I was none the less, no direction in which to go in, no sun to get my bearings by and above all, no Meadow. I had one goal now, to find where she had gone.

“She’s already moved on old boy”

I jumped round in shock at the voice behind me, turning at what was, I later thought, a most impressively fast rate for a four legged being.

I found myself face to face with a scene so bizarre, I took a step back, my mouth open and eyes wide.

A rather bored looking gold coloured stallion with equally golden eyes and the purest white mane, looked up at me from over a pair of half moon glasses on a chain around his neck. What added to the perplexing scene was not only the miraculous appearance of the pony, but that he was also sitting behind a large ornate marble desk. It too, had materialised seemingly out of thin air.

On the desk in front of him was an equally large book with a brass lantern, inkwell, quills and other assorted writing implements. A dull purple glow surrounded his horn as he dipped a quill into the ink.

“Name ?”

“What ?”

“First name ?”

“I……”, I stumbled.

“’I. What’…..”, the pony mumbled as he wrote in the book. “Unusual”.

“No, look, my names not ‘I What’, its….”

“Are you sure ?”, he interrupted in an irritated manner, putting down the quill.

“Yes, I’m sure…”

“Well then Mr Sure, this is all most irregular, you are very lucky we found you here before you faded. Bringing in shades from the Withers is not a task we take likely you know…”

I slammed both my fore hooves on the desk making the golden pony sit back in surprise. He gave a loud huff and I stared down at him narrowing my eyes. “I have a name. My name, is Fairlight. That’s all, just Fairlight. Not ‘I What’, and not bloody well ‘I Sure’”. I banged my hoof on his desk, emphasising each word, “Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear ?”.

Visibly taken aback, the stallion harrumphed, straightened his glasses and took out some correction solution from a desk drawer before writing my name, correctly this time, in the book. “Crystal”, he said in a low voice.

“Now”, I asked regaining my composure, “you know know who I am, so who are you, where am I and what the hell is going on. I would strongly recommend as well my friend that you explain very clearly, where my wife is.”

The unicorn stood up. I very quickly realised that the desk had given me the illusion that the bespectacled clerk was a normal pony like myself. As he unfolded himself from the velvet lined chair, I balked at how wrong I was. He was taller than me, a lot taller. He shook out a pair of huge wings, stretching and then folding them neatly back to his flanks.

Letting his spectacles drop from his nose to dangle from their chain, he pushed his chair back and trotted around the end of the desk until he was standing uncomfortably close.

I had never seen an alicorn before and this one brought back to my mind all the stories of their awe and power. This creature was quite literally glowing with it, a shining aura emanating around him causing me to shield my eyes from the glare.

“You are NOT in any position to make demands of ANYPONY ‘mister’ Fairlight.” He bellowed down at me. “I don’t think you realise just how much trouble you are causing us right now !”

It was like be screamed at by an angry hurricane. Rallying against the audible onslaught, I lowered my head into a fighting stance and glared back at him, “Do you have any idea what I have been through ? What my wife went through ? I want answers and I want them now, so you had better get your arse in gear ‘mister’ Alicorn and tell me what I need to know !”.

“Aethel”
“What was that ?” I asked.
“My name is Aethel. First phalanx, second clerical division of the royal host. Where you are is the Wither World, also known simply as the Withers. A world between worlds if you will.”

Aethel advanced on me, poking me in the chest with his hoof, “You, Mister Fairlight are dead. Deceased, terminated, call it what you will.”

He scratched his ear for a moment in thought before continuing, “Ponies do not normally die violent deaths. You on the other hoof, have, together with your wife”.

“Where…..” I started, only to be interrupted by Aethel raising a hoof and shaking his head. He went on, “She is with the herd now Fairlight.”. He turned back to the desk and spun the oversized ledger so I could read it. Pointing out the entry before mine, I saw the name, ‘Meadow’, a signature and a description of her. Before I could read any more, the golden alicorn slammed the book shut.

“You cannot enter the Eternal Herd, Fairlight.” He spoke with a quiet gentleness that made the breath catch in my throat. This was unexpected. It didn’t sound like good news either and that was an understatement. My blood seemed to freeze in my veins at his words. “I’m sorry”.

“Wh…What do you mean, I cant enter the herd ?” I stammered. I think the shakiness in my voice gave him pause, as he moved forward and momentarily placed a sympathetic hoof on my shoulder. “It is hard to describe to you in terms you may understand. Believe me, this is something Equestria has not experienced since the wars of the three tribes. Violence, hate, killing, rape, murder, nothing has happened like this for an age”.
“Until now” I added.
“Until now” he agreed with a solemn nod. “Fairlight, ponies were never meant to experience what you have and the herd are,” he paused, “concerned.” Aethel shook his mane, “Concerned about letting you join the herd in your current condition”.

“What condition ?” I almost shouted, “I’m damned well dead for fucks sake ! I don’t think I’m going to be making a sudden miraculous recovery from that. It’s a bit more final than a bad case of flu wouldn’t you say ?”

“Don’t be flippant” Aethel admonished me, looking over his shoulder as he walked back behind the desk. “I can see it in your eyes Fairlight”, his voice took on a deep serious timbre.

“There is something within you which cannot be allowed into the herd or it will….corrupt…. us. You must understand.”

“But Meadow !” I said, my voice taking on a note of despair,”I promised I would see her…”

“I understand Fairlight, but you simply cannot enter in your current condition. You must stay here in the Wither world until we can think of some, solution, to the problem”.

“And how long will that take ?” I shouted, “You’ve already said I could fade away here. Goddesses Aethel, haven’t I suffered enough !? Don’t do this to me !”. I cradled my head in my forelegs, this was all simply too much to bear. “Meadow”, I whispered, “I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do.”

“Fairlight., I…”, Aethel began.

I felt it. A fire, not of heat, but of cold, ice cold burning in my chest, building up and up into a raging howling inferno of an anger and ferociousness I have never known. Every synapse in my mind felt like it was burning with fiery ice, my coat prickled in waves from my neck to my tail. Rage, fear, hopelessness, despair, loss. All these emotions, boiled in my heart screaming for release, crying out for me to slip the chain and burn my pain out into this barren landscape.

I turned on the gold coated stallion who backed away from me with a look of abject terror in his wide eyes.

A roaring, blood chilling scream the likes of which I had never heard before, filled the air, rolling like a shockwave across the black sand causing it to ripple outward. Outward, I discovered, from me.

“I want. My. WIFE !” I part croaked, shouted and screamed at the alicorn.

“Goddesses !” He cried out, “Take a look at yourself, look what you have become ! Can’t you see why you cannot be allowed to enter the herd you fool ? If you came to us now, you would poison us all. Poison your precious wife. Meadow is with us, she’s safe. Would you risk her safety by bringing that….that ‘thing’ in with you ?”

I backed away from him and howled up at the dark sky, a long lonely howling cry of utter despair. Around me, small white flakes appeared in the air and slowly began to fall to the ground.

“I’m sorry Fairlight”. Aethels words came from another world now, a world I could no longer be a part of. “You can see now why this must be the way it must be. Forgive us. I hope you find peace”.

I didn’t notice him leave. I could only stare down at the ground between my forelegs, snow falling all around me as tears turned to tiny crystals that rolled down my cheeks. Not only had I witnessed the utter destruction of my life in Equestria, now even my rest with the Eternal Herd, had been denied me. Denied. Refused. Taken. Stolen. Stolen by those two ponies. The big red bastard, and the piss yellow one. They were the ones who had caused this, they were the ones who should be here suffering, not me. Not after what they had done to my beloved Meadow.

I growled. A long low rumbling exhultation of hatred and anger, my muzzle dripping with the anticipation of the deliciously painful deaths I would inflict on these ponies should I manage to somehow, visit my vengeance up their filthy carcases. No...these were not ponies, ponies wouldn’t do those things. They were….vermin. Yes, that was it, vermin. And vermin must be exterminated, killed without delay, destroyed to stop their sickness infecting others. As they had infected me and cursed me to this damned existence in a barren world.

It was then, in that moment of anger, hatred and sorrow, that I pledged to avenge myself upon those two ponies. I had no idea how, but now, I had a direction. A purpose. A purpose that would not be satisfied until I had drenched myself in the blood of those two ponies. I would visit hell itself upon them.