"Well, what do you know," came Doctor's rhetorical question, "seventy-four percent are talking about it now!"

"Yes," Prince agreed through gritted teeth, "it did feel distinctly like higher than half the ponies I met were giving me funny looks, thank you."

"Sor-"

"Please stop apologizing!"

The gang again found themselves in Sugarcube Corner two days following the initial discussion that led to where they were now. Most of the town was still making well-reasoned deductions, uncertain speculation, and wild guesses as to what really happened between Blueblood and Rarity. While none were sure of the latter's feelings on this (on account of most fleeing the scene when she approached to ask what everypony was talking about), the former was adamant that he was not angry, was not even a little bit annoyed with Shining Armor, because he had already forgiven him and there were no take-backsies on forgiveness, dammit!

"Y'know," offered Soarin, "you could just tell everypony what really-ow!"

He was silenced with a hoof applied to the back of his head, Blueblood smiling contentedly. He said he wouldn't get angry at Shining, so he wasn't going back on his word here. "No, no I will not, for it is the business of nopony but myself and the trollop in question, and that is how it will remain."

Doctor, as always, smiled. "Maybe so, but that won't stop ponies from talking about it."

"Yea," Thunderlane chimed in, "anything we can do about that? Getting pretty sick of the gossip at the weather office." It was a little hard to tell while doing his best to drown it all out, but it seemed like the only ponies not interested were him and Lightning Dust. Granted, for how vocal she was about her disapproval at everypony ‘incessantly blabbering about it,’ she never left the room when it came up...

"There's nothing we need to do," answered Blueblood, "I was the subject of rumor and speculation all the time in Canterlot, and it always passed within a week."

Soarin scratched his head. "Wasn't that because Canterlot is a big, busy city with at least three dozen celebrities walking around at any given time, any one of them bound to do something that draws attention away from whatever the big scandal of the moment was?"

Things went very, very quiet at that table as Blueblood remained perfectly still, as though petrified without the heavy, stoney, cursey part. He wasn't even blinking. In the ensuing silence, Big Mac nodded his head.

"Eeyup."

Shining whispered. "Sorry."

That snapped Blueblood out of his trance. "Please stop apologizing!"

"Ignoring it may actually still work," offered Doctor, "Ponyville might be a small town, but weird things still happen all the time, right?"

There were nods of agreement as Mrs. Cake brought the group their usual orders. Thunderlane raised an eyebrow.

"I know I'm tempting fate by asking, but Pinkie not around today?"

"Oh, no," answered Mrs. Cake, "it's her day off today."

"Huh," Shining thought aloud, "what do you think she's up to?"

Boing.

Boing.

Boing.

There was a problem.

Boing.

Boing.

Boing.

A serious problem!

Boing.

Boing.

Boing.

And a serious problem called for being... serious!

But she didn't stop pronking. It wasn't just a fun way to move, but sometimes it helped her think! Maybe hopping along from place to place just helped get her brain hopping too, and right now it was hopping for solutions to a serious problem; Pretty Much Everypony Gossiping About Two Of Her Friends And How To Make Them Quit Doing That Because It Sounded Like A Really Personal Matter And Sooner Or Later There Were Gonna Be Hurt Feelings!

And so, Pinkie merrily seriously pronked through town with a very serious look on her face. Some ponies were looking at her like she was wearing a mini party-cannon on her head again, but they weren't spreading gossip, which was good! She approached Lyra, who'd been sitting in her usual way on a bench.

"Hi, Lyr-err..." If she sounded all cheerful, ponies would smile, and while she loved, loved, loved making ponies smile, smiles might make them think she was just joking about this, and if they thought it was a joke, they might not take her seriously when she asked about Bluey and Rarity, and then they might joke about those two and then feelings might get seriously hurt! She cleared her throat. "Hello, Lyra," she said in a serious, just-slightly-gravelly voice, like a detective in one of those noir movies, "you heard anything about Prince Blueblood and Rarity lately?"

Lyra, just slightly perturbed as she wondered if Pinkie had been eating at her sisters' place recently, raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no? Why do y-"

"Are ya sure," she asked, one eyebrow raised REALLY high as she leaned in REALLY close, "you haven't heard anything about the day Shiny and Bluie came to town, how one of 'em talked to Rarity and something really bad happened between those two and now they won't talk to each other at all and the whole town knows and they're all wondering what the hay is going on?"

Lyra blinked very slowly. "Not... really...? And, why do you sound like you've been eating rocks?" Her eyes widened. "Did you eat Darwin?!"

Pinkie didn't respond to the question. "Okie-dokie-lokie," she said just as seriously while turning away, "juuuuust checkin'." And then she pronked away, wondering why anypony would eat a rock. Rock candy or the gruel baked so hard that it was almost a rock back home, but not real rocky-rock-rocks. She'd heard of Maud doing that, sure, but most ponies weren't Maud, so they'd probably have a really hard time eating rocks.

Ooh, if they were Maud, though, it would mean that Pinkie had sisters everywhere! That would be neat, but then she might have trouble telling everyMaudy apart and she wouldn't know whether to throw tons of birthday parties or one really, really big one and Hearths Warmings would get super-crowded and if one of the Mauds found a special somepony, would that make them all of the Mauds' special somepony too? Because if it didn't, things would get SUPER confusing and then they might quarrel and the special somepony might argue with Maud for an hour and a half only to learn that it was the wrong Maud and then they'd have to start all over, but with an extra Maud already being argued with and then that Maud might be annoyed and want to quarrel too and the relationship would fall apart and Maud(s) might never get married!

Maybe it was better if she only had one Maud, but Pinkie still loved her just the same! And that was why she had to help Bluie and Rarity patch things up when all this gossip stuff was all sorted out.

Back on the bench, Lyra sat very, very still as she pondered the fate of her pet rock. She hadn't brought him with her today, both because sometimes it made her feel weird and because he'd been placed in the naughty corner for saying some very hurtful things again, but she didn't want him eaten! Of course, it was possible Pinkie ate some other rock in some new baking experiment, so-

"Lyra? You okay?"

The teal unicorn's head whipped to face her marefriend/room mate, seeing Darwin hanging from the little chain around her neck. "Darwin!" she cried with glee, "You're alive!"

Bon-Bon blinked twice. "...Y-yes, yes he... is...? And, I'm okay too, thanks for asking."

Realizing that she had just prioritized a rock over the love of her life, Lyra grew very red and very sheepish. "Haha, sorry, nice to see you too." Bon-Bon smiled a little in an affectionately haughty 'that's better!' kind of way, which still tickled Lyra's inner heartstrings.

Note to self: Never say that out loud.

Instead, she cleared her throat. "So, you hear about Rarity and Blueblood...?"

Dismay! Horror! Calamity!

Of all the things that could possibly happen to her, this was, without a doubt, the worst!

Possible!

Thing!!

And she really meant it this time!

Lying on her fainting couch with a depleted tub of ice cream on the floor (it had been half-empty when she started), Rarity let out a long-suffering sigh. She had spent what free time she could afford yesterday trying to clear everything up after Fluttershy told her the news, but it was all for naught! Whenever she'd tried to tell anypony she could that nothing happened between her and that uncouth animal of a stallion, everypony continued to make themselves scarce on her approach! She'd even tried talking to salesponies that couldn't very well flee their shops to get away from her, but all of them had streamlined her attempts at conversation into business-talk and nothing more.

And so, here she was; lying in her room with the Boutique closed for the day while she had a good, cleansing sulk, though she did so without tears. It wasn't out of a lack of emotional anguish or some silly aversion to expressing sorrow, just a fear that if anypony discovered her in such a state, they may come to the conclusion that she was crying over him.

Unacceptable!

Another such thought occurred to her, making her sit up, eyes wide with alarm.

"What if... what if these rumors reach Canterlot? I'll never make a name for myself in the most-" she paused to straighten up her appearance with a few quick spells and a telekinetically-adjusted mirror, brushing a hoof through her mane when finished, "glamorous city in Equestria if everypony associates me with, with...!"

...What were they saying about her now? Fluttershy had only heard the gist of what was going around town, so Rarity couldn't say specifically how bad the situation really was. Well, that would hardly do! She wanted to know exactly how devastated she was meant to be in this situation, not letting anypony say she was 'just overreacting' again. Implying that Rarity overreacted to things. Imagine!

She got to her hooves, briefly going through her wardrobe to select just the right attire for her impending excursion. Ponies wouldn't speak to her face-to-face and a full-fledged disguise could lead to her looking very silly (though still quite stylish!) if somepony recognized her anyway. Pinkie Pie was a good filly, but she had no sense for when somepony would prefer to remain unnoticed. That in mind, she opted to dress inconspicuously and wander the town alone, see what she could pick up.

"And from there," she muttered to herself while donning a lovely sun-hat and some tasteful, wide-rimmed sunglasses, "I'll decide whether there's anything to be done or if it's time to break out the big spoon and a tub of Industrial Chocolate."

She headed out the door, opting to first move in the direction of... Perhaps Blossomforth could help her? They were old friends, Rarity was often there to console her when her relationship with Mr. Thunderlane hit a bump (the most recent appeared to be permanent), and it was Blossomforth that first convinced her of the benefits a tub of frosted sweets could have on a mare's mood. She began her sojourn to the weather office, hopeful that the entire weather team wouldn't spontaneously decide on shifts well above shouting range.

One hoof raised to knock, Rarity was startled by a sudden exclamation from within the weather office.

"BAM!! Right in the freakin' face!"

Tilting her head, she found one window to be open nearby. The label of 'snoop' was another Rarity wasn't thrilled to wear, but if pegasi stopped keeping windows open for a quick exit all the time, ponies might stop hearing their conversations from outdoors. She tread closer, hearing more voices she recognized.

"And when she laid out his guard for being so damn stupid," continued Rainbow, "Blueblood went in to file a complaint with his Inspector Guy powers, but she distracted him by saying his neck-thingie was out of style or something and they got into a big argument that made him forget about checking on stuff for the Summer Sun Celebration in the first place!" Crossing her forelegs, she nodded affirmatively. "When you think about it, Rarity kinda saved the celebration if not for Nightmare Moon showin' up."

Raindrops shook her head. "You really think Rarity would just deck a guy for ticking her off?"

Thank you, Raindrops, she thought from outside.

"I'unno," came Rainbow's reply, "but it'd explain what happened."

Cloud Kicker chuckled. "I'll stick to my own theory for now."

Turning to the academy drop-out, Raindrops raised a curious brow. "Your theory?"

Rainbow facehoofed. "Don't, it's stupid."

Suddenly, Raindrops wore a grin. "Tell me!"

She and Cloud Kicker ignored a groan from their boss as the latter cleared her throat.

Garbed head to hoof in tight, black latex, Rarity nearly dropped the whip in surprise when Blueblood opened the door, his shocked expression winning a tiny smirk from her.

"Err," he stammered, "I-I seem to have entered the wrong-"

She sharply cut him off. "Good little colts will knock before they enter a lady's chambers. You did not knock, did you?"

"I-" A sharp crack of the whip near the tip of his horn startled him into silence.

"You were not given permission to speak," she tutted, with a slow shake of her head. "Bursting in here like an untamed beast, shooting your mouth off without permission? You," she said while pacing closer, "are a bad colt." Her eyes narrowed as her smile widened. "Get in the cage, I have-"

OW!

Cloud Kicker gingerly rubbed the back of her head, staring in confusion at the tome of regulations and protocols that now lay by her hooves. She and Raindrops both looked at Rainbow, whose eyes widened. She raised a hoof defensively.

"W-woah, hey, not me this time!"

As the trio of confused pegasi glanced around the room, Rarity silently congratulated herself on her skillful, stealthy use of telekinesis. She was pretty sure she hadn't been noticed, her hat likely hiding the glow from her horn even if anypony saw her standing here. Fashionable and functional!

"So, anyway," Cloud Kicker picked up, "she tells him to get into the cage and-"

Raindrops held up a hoof, her face a slightly pink, deadpan stare. "Rarity as a dominatrix, I get the picture."

"Aww."

Rainbow would have been more smug (more than usual) about Cloud Kicker deflating, but it only lasted two seconds. Instead, she turned to Raindrops. "So, I don't think I've heard any theories outta you, got any guesses?"

"Not really. Why do you guys even care?"

"Because," Cloud answered with a smile, "both of 'em are hot, fancy, Canterlot types, so it's easy for normal ponies-" Nopony heard an indignant scoff from outside. -"to get wrapped up talking about them."

"And more importantly," added Rainbow, "to solve a great mystery!" It wasn't exactly Daring Do and the Mysterious Midnight Mangler, but it was something. "So c'mon, anything?"

Touching a hoof to her chin, Raindrops hummed thoughtfully. "Well, Blueblood and Rarity both seem like pretty decent ponies, so...?" She shrugged. "Maybe they just didn't get along? Some ponies just don't like each other, y'know?"

There was a silence as her fellow weathermares stared at her in almost pitying fashion. Rainbow was the first to say it, completely deadpan.

"That is such a normal thing to say."

Raindrops scowled. "Stop saying that like it's a bad thing!!"

Outside the weather office, Rarity turned to walk away.

Sheer personal incompatibility, Raindrops? I'll take it over latex and whips, thank you, but no, I'm afraid there was much more to it than that...

Author's Notes:

I had to look up 'fancy icecream' to find something Rarity might feasibly stuff herself with during one of her drama binges. Industrial Chocolate is apparently chocolate mixed with chocolate, blended with chocolate and melted together with chocolate. It's like forged-in-the-fires-of-Mordor chocolate.

Because she might never meet Twilight in this universe, I like to think Rainbow could get into Daring Do on her own this time. When? No idea. Maybe some silly bodyguard gave her a present once, something he picked up while thinking about what his perfect little sister would do?