My voice was low, heavy, and with strange emphasis on the words. "I can't fucking do it anymore! Look at me, I sound like a crazy person!" I slammed spitfire's desk. "Seriously, it needs to stop!"

Spitfire slowly took off her glasses. "So...another raise?"

I clenched my fists and leaned over towards her. "It's been a year! I can't control the tone of my voice, or the pacing, or--any of it really. It's slowly killing me inside, and I need to leave."

Spitfire lowered her head. "Look--"

I slammed her desk with my fist, the crap on her tabletop jumping as I did. "Listen to me you mini horse shithead, I can't, I won't, and I will not take this anymore! I'm not even American, I shouldn't ever sound like this!"

Spitfire nodded. "Ponies love it--"

"I don't care! Fix my voice before I lose my damn mind!"

Spitfire turned to her window, the snowy Canterlot sky dripping snow from far beyond the clouds. "We can't."

"What?" My skin chilled as she spoke.

Spitfire turned back to me, an even frown on her face. "We can't. I don't know how to fix it. But, I can give you a raise if money is the issue." Spitfire reached back into her desk.

"Oh--my god, you're missing the point!" I dug my nails into her desk. "I haven't been able to hold down another job, or a romantic relationship, and I'm slowing driving myself mad talking like this! It's not about the money!"

Spitfire stopped rummaging around her desk and looked up at me. She leaned back in her chair and bopped her hooves together. "Well, then there's not much I can do."

I bit my lip and looked around her office, the dull wood panels offensive to the trained eye. "You can't fix this? You did this to me!"

Spitfire rolled her hoof. "We do this to every announcer. We go through them about each year, so it's not like I wasn't expecting this."

I leaned into her desk. "So you can't fix this, and you did it to me anyways?"

Spitfire shrugged, face like nothing was wrong. "It works out of us, and I never hear any complaints from the ponies who quit--"

"Are they dead!? Because if you can't stop this, if I can't speak normally, I'm going to fucking kill myself!" I grabbed my head, the sound of my own voice driving me up a wall. "Oh god, please, make it stop!"

Spitfire just chuckled. "You sure you wanna quit? You really have it down."

I pulled my hands to my chest. "I'm going to die! Oh please god no, I'm going to die!" I swung myself towards the door, hitting it open with my shoulder and most likely busting the lock on my way out. I tried not to make noise, each whimper and sputter reminded me of my lost voice. I sounded generic, uncontrolled, like I was constantly putting on an unintentional show.

The hall outside was plain, beige with blue and yellow accents. I once loved these colors, the colors of the Wonderbolts. The bright pastels dug into my eyes. I turned away, towards the far off white doors that lead out onto the street. I rubbed my face, trying to collect myself before leaving to plot my cure or eventual suicide when that inevitably failed.

The door flung open, blinding white light stinging my eyes as a rainbow maned pony stepped in. "Whoops--" she stepped to the side, awkwardly shuffling in the ponies' four legged way.

I stared at the rainbow catastrophe. "You...why do I know you?"

The rainbow headed mare shot upright. "Wait a minute...." She leaned in towards me and cocked her head. "I know your voice!"

I grimaced roughly. "I think a lot of people do. That doesn't make it--"

The rainbow girl grew a wide smile, eyes gleaming. "You're the announcer for the Wonderbolts!"

"Terrible job that it is," I interjected, not even remotely heeded.

The girl let out a shrill squeal. "Oh my gosh, hi!"

I stared at the girl, bemused. "Hello."

The rainbow girl giggled loudly. "That's so cool--"

"It's really not! I can't talk like a normal person anymore, I always sound like this, and it's driving me insane!" I crossed my arms. "Not that you're even listening to the words, just the sound of this damn bastard voice!"

Rainbow girl nodded. "Awesome."

I rolled my eyes. "Wait...wait, oh I know how I know you. You're the element of something.... Bismuth."

Rainbow Dash, that was her name. She leaned away from me, an ugly, annoyed look across her face. "What the hay is a Bismuth?"

I shrugged. "An element."

Rainbow Dash stared at me. "I think that's different...."

I shrugged again. "Probably." I felt something turn on in my brain, like a flash of lightning to my brain-stem. "Wait! You're supposed to help people, like a national hero, right?" I ducked down to meet her eye to eye. "It's your job, right?"

Rainbow Dash brushed herself off with a hoof. "Well, really more of a side gig, saving the world and stuff, no big deal."

I felt my eyes cross. I shook my head and ignored the outright bluster. "Sure. But you do it! Now...please, and I'm asking you this with as much levity as I can muster, I need your help! And this is...a matter of life and death!"

Rainbow Dash smiled smugly. "Oh course you need my help, I'm pretty--"

"I need my voice fixed before I take a gun and blow my head off!"

Rainbow Dash tried to fall back onto four legs, her right foreleg stumbled and she ended up bonking herself against the wall. "Ow! Okay, whoa, what!?"

I pointed to my throat. "This isn't a game. I really can't stop talking like this! You need to help me, I need you to help me! I'll give you whatever you want, I'll do whatever you ask, but I need to be able to speak normally!" I held my throat. "Please, look me in the eyes! I cannot live like this! They cursed my voice to sound like this all the time, and now they can't fix it!"

Rainbow Dash scratched her head. "Who did?"

"The god damn Wonderbolts!"

Rainbow Dash shook her head softly. "No...they wouldn't--"

"I'm not joking! They played with fire, and now I'm getting burned here! I'm begging you-" I dropped down to my knees, "-either kill me or save me! Because this can't go on! I haven't had a romantic relationship since this happened! My friends have left me so they don't have to hear me speak like this anymore! Please, I'm on my knees, you have to help me!"

Rainbow Dash leaned her head back. "Uh, wow. Totally...." She looked behind her. "Is it okay if I don't know how yet?"

I shrugged. "You've probably got a better place to start than me!"

Rainbow Dash nodded once, rather curtly. "Yeah! But...can you--"

"If you're going to ask me to announce something you can go and fuck yourself!" I glared at her, my eyes starting to burn from all the staring. "Seriously...not an okay thing to ask right now."

Rainbow Dash smiled innocently. "Just once? Just my name?"

I felt my facial features go slack. "You're a terrible national hero...." I cleared my throat. "And here we have the amazing, Raaaaaainbow Daaaash! Stunning colors, bright eyed, and ready to save the day!"

Rainbow Dash squealed like a little girl. "Oh--my--gosh! That was awesome!"

"Good for you! Now seriously...help...."

Rainbow Dash reached out and put a hoof on my shoulder. "Dude...I got this." She turned to the door. "That was so cool by the way. Uh, this way." She nudged the door open, holding it for me to follow.

I sighed loudly, my voice modestly normal when not forming words. "I sincerely wish I was dead.... This must be why the clown cries." I stood up and followed her, out into the cold winter streets of Canterlot. She trotted with her hooves high, obviously in an amazingly chipper mood. "So can I ask what the plan is?"

Rainbow Dash spun around to watch me. "Uh, I think I know somepony who can help. If not, well, I'm sure I can figure something out." She smiled up at me. "Can you--"

"No."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Fine.... But, you might have to come down to Ponyville, maybe out into Whitetail woods if she can't help you."

I sighed loudly. "Then let me make a stop at my apartment, I'll need to get some things."

Rainbow Dash nodded. "I uh...do you have any like...trophies, Wonderbolts--"

"You can come and take whatever you want! Honestly after all this I was planning to burn my Wonderbolts stuff, so you can take it all!" I swept my arm out. "Less smoke that way!" I grabbed my throat. "Is it alright if I try not to talk...I feel terrible enough as is...."

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "If you want, I still think it's cool."

"It's cool until it's not. Then it just gets worse and worse the more you have to hear it until you just leave me on my own...." I placed my hands against my face and took a deep breath. "Please...please fix this, I will be your best friend for life if you do."

Rainbow Dash smiled, fiery eyes fixed on me. "You do Wonderbolt stuff, I bet you could--"

"Connections, posters, merchandise, whatever you want!"

Rainbow Dash stopped herself from squealing and turned around. "So...awesome. The girls are gonna flip out when I tell them who I brought!"

"I'm not famous!"

"Shut up, yes you are!" She spun around and jabbed my stomach with a hoof. "Stop it...you're cool, now stop making this not cool." I held my arms out and waved them around. I pulled them back and flipped her off. Her tail flicked angrily, her eyes narrowing towards me. "...So are you gonna show me where you live or should I just leave?"

I threw my hands up and let them flop down against my side. I hurried on down the street, the rainbow girl chugging along behind me. Rainbow Dash cleared her throat and trotted up next to me. "So...what's your name?"

I frowned hard. "Teodor!"

Rainbow Dash scratched her head. "Theodor?"

"Teodor!" I kept walking, knowing it was a dead argument from the start. "Not from here, or Canada, it's not a normal spelling!"

Rainbow Dash hurried after me. "Kay. Where do you live exactly? Cause, I could probably meet you there."

"Look, just follow me, or go find a bag! One way or another, that Wonderbolts' crap is leaving my apartment!"

"It's not crap!" Rainbow Dash walked in front of me and stamped my shoe, missing my toes by an inch. "Stop calling it crap!" She spun around and leveled a bitter glare at me. "It's not cool!"

"Neither is this, and they did this to me...so, by associative properties, they're not coo--"

"They are!" Rainbow Dash stamped her hooves again, letting me walk past without protest. "Stop saying they're not!"

"Have you talked to them? Soarin' is fine, the others, not so much!"

Rainbow Dash flew before me. "I--" She hung a hoof in the air, eyes shooting off to the side as she hovered before me. "I uh.... Uh, so...where's the apartment?"