Two weeks ago, Sunset Shimmer went through the most humiliating ordeal of her life.

Well...second most. Having dozens of her fellow students see her running around the school naked still wasn't quite as humiliating as the night of the Fall Formal.

Of course, for days after the fact, there'd been pictures and videos of her floating around all over the Internet. Everyone who hadn't seen her in the flesh, as it were, had still gotten an eyeful of her and then some.

Thirty seven boys had asked her out. Seventeen of them had outright propositioned her for sex. Ten of them had groped her.

And then there were the girls. Most of the girls at school sympathized with her, feeling her mortification as if it were their own—even the girls who hadn't quite forgiven her for her past transgressions. More than a few girls, however, had found the whole thing hilarious. Then there were the ones who enjoyed the show for different reasons entirely. She'd found mysterious gifts of candy and perfume in her locker. Three girls had started randomly sexting her. A girl named Lightning Dust had actually pushed her up against the wall in the shower room after gym and gotten very intimate with her. It had come out of nowhere, and she felt she probably should've reported her to the principal or kicked her ass, but...it hadn't been terrible exactly, so she'd let it slide.

Lightning Dust did interesting things with her tongue, after all. Not that Sunset was into girls, exactly, but there had been a certain thrill to the whole thing.

After a little over a week, the whole thing had started to die down, and Sunset could almost walk through the halls without questioning her dignity. The support of her friends helped tremendously.

During a boring sixth period lecture on a Thursday, the PA crackled. //May I have your attention, please,// Principal Celestia's voice rang out over the outdated speaker in the classroom, //At this time, I would ask that all junior and senior girls, as well as all female faculty members, please report to the cafeteria for an assembly. I repeat, all junior and senior girls, as well as all female faculty members, please report to the cafeteria at this time. All other students, please remain in your classes. If your teacher is absent for this assembly, use this period as a study hall.//

Sunset blinked. That was an unusual announcement.

Mr. Doodle looked around at the girls in his class as though they had all somehow personally offended him. "Well? Get going!"

The dozen-odd girls in the class, Sunset included, filed out into the halls, joining the throngs of girls and teachers headed for the cafeteria. "What do you suppose is going on?" Fluttershy, who was also in Sunset's sixth period class, asked.

"No idea," Sunset said. Up ahead, Sunset saw Cheerilee. She hurried to catch up to her. "Miss Cheerilee? What's going on?"

"I'm not sure," Cheerilee said, frowning. "If there was a memo about this, I missed it..."

Once they reached the cafeteria, Sunset and Fluttershy gravitated towards their friends, sitting together in a group. "What's this all about?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Nobody seems to know," Rarity said.

Once the last girls had trickled into the cafeteria, Vice-Principal Luna closed and locked the cafeteria doors, then nodded to Principal Celestia. The general hubbub of conversation died down as Celestia tapped on a microphone, producing a squeal of feedback. "Good afternoon, ladies," Celestia said, looking around. "The purpose of this assembly is to discuss a very special fundraiser event, one we won't be able to pull off without your support.

"I'll cut right to the chase: we're planning a charity bikini marathon. All girls in junior and senior years as well as all female faculty members are invited and encouraged to participate."

She allowed a moment for the gaggle of surprised reactions from teachers and students.

"A what now?" Cheerilee cried.

"You can't possibly be serious!" Sunset heard Octavia say.

"Wow, they're actually gonna do it?" Rainbow asked. "I thought Luna was just kidding!"

Sunset facepalmed. "Pinkie Pie, this is all your fault," she muttered.

Celestia held up a hand for silence. "Yes, I know this comes as a surprise, but let me explain." She waited for the din to die down, then smiled and said, "Sex sells. If you look all around you, you'll see a large number of beautiful ladies with terrific bikini bodies. Sponsors are already lining up to promote this event, with most of the proceeds earmarked for various school programs and local charities. Think of it as an opportunity to show a little skin for a good cause!" She looked around, then added, "As a show of good faith, Vice-Principal Luna and I are the first two entrants."

Coach Spitfire stood up and raised a hand. "Excuse me, Principal Celestia. Exactly what will this event entail?"

"I'm glad you asked," Celestia said. "On the day of the event, the designated race course will be cordoned off, and the entrants will race through the streets of Canterlot. Canterlot High School will serve as the start line. The actual race course and finish line will be determined in the coming days. All participants must wear a bikini and running shoes. No other clothing is permitted. The bikini may be as modest or as revealing as you're comfortable with. Do note that there will be cameras and spectators all along the race course." She paused. "There will of course be prizes awarded to the winner and runners-up. The prizes are as yet to be determined."

"Will the prizes be awesome?" Rainbow Dash asked, drawing a number of chuckles.

Celestia laughed. "I assure you, the prizes will be...worthwhile." She looked around seriously. "By no means is anyone here obligated to participate. Participation is entirely voluntary. I understand that many of you may not be comfortable with the idea of putting yourself on display in such a manner. However, this event will benefit many worthwhile causes and school programs, so I urge you all to consider entering. The more beautiful ladies we have racing, the better."

Luna picked up a large stack of papers from a table and walked around the cafeteria, distributing them. "Please fill out these entry forms if you intend to participate," she said. "You may return them to the faculty office at your leisure. We will announce the date of the marathon as soon as the details are finalized."

Sunset raised her hand. "Question."

"Yes, Miss Shimmer?"

"Can we invite an honorary student who lives...out of town to enter?"

Celestia smiled. "If Twilight Sparkle is available, she may enter."

"One last thing," Luna said. "Until the event is officially announced, we'd appreciate it if you'd all try to keep it under wraps."

"Yeah, like that's gonna happen," Applejack muttered. "Whole school's gonna know before th' day's over."

Celestia looked around. "Well then...are there any more questions?"

A slim yellow hand shot up.

"Yes, Fluttershy?"

"Umm...i-is the animal shelter...will any of the proceeds...?"

"Yes, some of the proceeds will benefit the animal shelter. Anything else?" When no more questions appeared to be forthcoming, Celestia nodded. "Then you're all dismissed to return to your classes."

The air filled with excited whispering and the buzz of animated conversation as the girls all swarmed out of the cafeteria.

"So, any of y'all doin' this?" Applejack asked.

"I am," Rainbow Dash said.

"Umm...I am too," Fluttershy said.

"I'm in! It sounds like fun!" Pinkie said.

"Well naturally I'll enter," Rarity said. "Me, not allow the world to bask in my astonishing beauty? Out of the question!"

"How about you, Sunset?" Pinkie asked.

Sunset shrugged. "Hey, the whole stupid town's already seen me naked. Compared to that, this is nothing. If you're all in, I'm in too."

"Well then Ah guess Ah'll do it too," Applejack said.

"You do realize what this means, don't you darlings?" Rarity asked.

The girls all looked at one another, grinning broadly.

"BIKINI SHOPPING!"

On a bright, warm late Spring morning, one month later, the entire city of Canterlot had turned out for the event of the year.

Bright yellow cordons blocked off the spectator areas from the race area. Cellphones and video cameras were out in force.

At the staging area at Canterlot High School, a hundred and eighty students and teachers in bikinis—bright, colorful, modest, revealing, sporty, stylish, plain, functional, elegant, and everything in between—stretched, adjusting themselves and making sure they could run without falling out of their bikinis. Twilight Sparkle had joined her friends, wearing a modest, plain dark purple bikini and white running shoes. "I'm a little confused about this whole thing," she said. "I thought in this world, you're supposed to wear a lot more clothes than this."

"Usually, yes," Rarity said. She wore an elegant crimped crimson bikini which snugly supported her breasts while leaving quite a bit of cleavage for gawkers to enjoy. It was also cut rather high; it left absolutely no question that she'd had a fresh wax at the spa. "But it's...well..."

"Usually you'd wear something like this to the beach," Fluttershy said. She herself wore a hunter green bikini that managed to conceal more than the other girls' bikinis covered, while at the same time seeming more revealing and alluring. "They're for swimming or sunbathing. Umm...supposedly. Except a lot of bikinis are more fashion than function..." She looked at Rarity. "For example...if Rarity went swimming in that, it'd fall off."

"So...it's swimwear...that you can't swim in?" Twilight asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Don't try t' understand it, sugarcube," Applejack, wearing a red-and-white checkered, tie-front bikini, said. "Th' important part is that girls wearin' bikinis is supposed ta be sexy. Guys love oglin' gals in a bikini. That's...pretty much th' whole logic behind all this."

"It's like those lace saddles and silk socks they sell back home," Sunset Shimmer said. She wore an intricate bikini that looked like it was made from orange fabric and magenta fabric twisted together; the top was strapless.

"Oh," Twilight said, blushing. "Um. Wow." She frowned. "So...we're all here, wearing these bikinis, so the male population of Canterlot can enjoy staring at our bodies?"

"Pretty much," Pinkie said. Her dark pinkish-red bikini barely held her breasts in check, and was tied on the sides.

Rainbow Dash, wearing a plain, sporty black volleyball bikini, suddenly looked up at the stage, eyes wide. "Whoa. Is that Ms. Harshwhinny?"

A peach-skinned woman with short blond hair, blue eyes, and a severe expression stood on the makeshift stage that had been set up. She wore a purple tanning bikini and had an impressively trim, athletic figure. "Ladies, may I have your attention?" Ms. Harshwhinny said into a microphone. Her usual impatient, snappish tone was present in full force. "There's something important you all need to know," she said.

To either side of her stood Celestia and Luna. Luna looked like she couldn't decide whether to be angry or amused, and her arms were folded beneath the skimpy, low-cut black bikini top she wore. Celestia, wearing a gold string bikini, looked absolutely sheepish, and had a "please don't kill me" look on her face.

"It would appear," Ms. Harshwhinny said, "that the promoters for this event pulled a fast one on us. There was a stipulation in the fine print of the contract that allowed for the application of last-minute changes to the event conditions." She gave Celestia a glare. "And that failure to adhere to all stipulations set forth in the promotion contract constitutes forfeiture of all prizes, proceeds, and sponsorship awards."

"E-heh..." Celestia laughed nervously.

Ms. Harshwhinny frowned, then turned her attention to the girls. "I'm truly sorry to announce this, but...a new stipulation has been added to this event, and everyone who signed an entry form is...obligated to comply." Taking a deep breath, she continued, "What was supposed to be a simple marathon has now become a bikini tag race. And by now, all of Canterlot knows about it."

"I don't think I like where this is going," Sunset muttered.

"What's a bikini tag race?" Fluttershy asked.

"No idea, but if Ms. Harshwhinny an' Vice-Principal Luna are this upset about it, it can't be good," Applejack said.

"Allow me to explain," Ms. Harshwhinny said. Her face was twisted into something truly sour. "During the course of the race, all competitors have two goals. The first goal is to reach the finish line, obviously. But the second goal..." She shot Celestia another glare. "You must attempt to strip the other runners of their bikini tops, while avoiding having your own top removed. Any girl whose bikini top is removed is disqualified, and must return to the start line—here at the school—regardless of where she may be on the race course. Topless."

A loud collective gasp and a lot of angry whispering and shouts rose from the crowd.

"The runner who reaches the finish line carrying the largest number of bikini tops removed from other racers, without having been disqualified herself, wins the marathon," Ms. Harshwhinny said. "Only bikini tops may be removed from your fellow racers. Any competitor caught stripping a bikini bottom will be disqualified—and will also be in a great deal of trouble."

Celestia took the microphone. "Girls...I'm sorry about this. I really am. The men from F&F Event Promotions were very clever and underhanded about this whole thing, and after this is all over with, I'll be looking into legal action against them. In the meantime, however, all the money and prizes donated for this race is tied up, F&F Promotions has control of all of it, and, well...in the words of Mr. Flam when I voiced my outrage..." She shrugged helplessly. "No tits, no bits."

"Flim and Flam?!" Twilight screeched. "No WONDER!"

"You know them jokers?" Applejack asked.

"They've caused a lot of trouble for the Apple Family back in Equestria," Twilight said, fists clenched. "And a lot of other ponies too."

"Huh. They pulled one over on me that one time too," Applejack said. "But this...this is low even for them."

Luna took the microphone. "Girls...I understand your outrage, and your unwillingness to participate in the light of this...deception. But I would like to remind you all of why you signed up for this in the first place. The money raised for this event is all for worthwhile causes...causes that still deserve that money, causes that needn't be made to suffer because of some particularly predatory contract shenanigans. As outraged as I am by this development, and as much as I want to make the ones responsible answer for it...I have not forgotten the good intentions behind this marathon, and neither should you. I'm not asking you to throw away your dignity. I'm asking you to make a sacrifice for a greater good."

Sunset and her friends looked around at one another. All around them, girls were looking at the ground, at their friends, at their teachers.

"And once this is over, we'll beat the living hell out of Mr. Flim and Mr. Flam," Luna concluded.

A great cheer went up from the crowd.

Celestia took the microphone. "We'll be starting in ten minutes," she said. "Good luck to you all."

As the girls moved to the starting area, Twilight asked, "So why exactly is everybody so angry about this? I'm sorry if that's a stupid question...there's still a lot I don't understand about this world."

"A girl's breasts are her own business and nobody else's," Rarity said.

Sunset stared flatly at her. "Rarity...yours are the least covered here."

"Well yes, but that's by choice. I'm hardly about to go flashing my assets all over Canterlot." She coughed delicately. "Ahem. No offense."

Sunset facepalmed, groaning.

Applejack sighed. "Twi...one'a th' main reasons we wear clothes is, well...there's only two people you're supposed ta ever be naked in front of other than your parents. That's yourself an' somebody you really love."

"Or just wanna bang," Rainbow said.

"Or your doctor," Fluttershy pointed out.

"Nudity is very...personal here," Sunset said.

"I see," Twilight said, brow furrowed. "So that's why..." She looked down at herself. "So if my top is stolen, and these...breasts?...everybody in Canterlot can see them, I'm supposed to be embarrassed?"

"Don't think too hard about it, Twilight," Sunset said. "This is where being an Equestrian who hasn't gone native yet works in your favor."

"If you do get stripped, you'll make a certain guitar player very happy," Pinkie said in a teasing tone.

Twilight blushed, toying with her hair. "Flash Sentry would...want to see me...like that?"

"You can pretty much bet on it," Rainbow said with a grin.

Twilight ducked her head. "That's...good to know," she said.

A loudspeaker squealed. //All runners, please report to the starting line at this time.//

The girls looked around at one another.

Sunset took a deep, shaky breath. "Let's go," she said.

Author's Notes:

In case you haven't figured it out yet, this story is going to be about comedic sociopathy and tits.

Lots of tits.

Like, a really ridiculous amount of tits.