To say that a standard Canterlot celebration was dull would be like saying the sky was blue, or that Discord was a bit random at times. All in all, the Canterlot elite constantly went out of their way to ensure any celebrations would be as far from a Pinkie Pie celebration as possible, meaning boring, long, and monotonous conversations between equally boring ponies until long after the average pony would have torn their own hair out just to make something different happen. The irony of this particular party being held for the literal embodiment of chaos and disharmony seemed to be lost on all the patrons, or simply left unmentioned. Really, everypony seemed perfectly content with pretending this whole affair didn’t involve Discord at all, except for the ice sculpture in his likeness perched ankle-deep in the punch bowl.

Celestia scanned over the scene with her usual sharp eye, still holding to the laid-back and approachable stance she had adopted over centuries of practice while keeping tabs on any possible troublemakers. As usual, this amounted to watching her nephew Blueblood drunkenly attempt to pick up noblemares, with wonderfully disastrous results. This time around, he had honed upon the Duchess of Northern Trottingham, his efforts starting with downing a fifth of scotch, walking up to her, and informing the fine noblemare that they could “make beautiful pornography together.”

Watching him walk away from yet another mare with another distinctly hoof-shaped indent on his cheek was one of the few pleasures Celestia felt guilty for enjoying. If only a twinge. She was a princess after all, and what’s more, Blueblood was family. Still, to see his chauvinistic, boorish behavior rewarded as such could thaw even the coldest of pony’s hearts. The little “Serves him right” from her side only added to her efforts to suppress the smirk that wanted to cross her face.

“Twilight, we shouldn’t delight in the pain of other ponies,” Celestia reprimanded her student…or…former student now, she kept forgetting about that.

The lavender alicorn at her side drooped slightly, but stood her ground. “Ponies that act like that get what they deserve, Princess.”

“They do, which is why we need not add to that animosity by delighting in their punishments. After all, if we’ve learned anything from what we’re celebrating today, it’s that today’s enemy can be…”

“…made tomorrow’s friend,” Twilight completed with a little sigh. “I know…”

Celestia nodded, smiling down at Twilight, who returned the smile. Outside, Blueblood finished puking into the fake potted plants by the grand entranceway. All told, it was shaping up to be another wonderful little shindig in Canterlot. Which was why the worried little furrow in Twilight’s brow stood out to Celestia.

“Twilight? I know that look,” she said. “What’s wrong?”

“Everything’s perfect,” Twilight replied. “Despite all the headaches from earlier, everything is running fine. Pinkie hasn’t even blown any of the noble’s gaskets yet, Rarity isn’t in a screaming match with somepony, and we’re already on the second course for the dinner.”

Celestia’s brow gained a little furrow to match Twilight’s. “And this is all a problem?”

“Princess, this is a party for Discord, how could things be going so well?”

Celestia opened her mouth to offer some calming, sage piece of advice, then closed it again and allowed it to turn into a frown. That was a good point. In fact, she couldn’t remember ever seeing Discord at this party. Where was he? Oh no, losing track of the God of Chaos was never a good sign!

“Ope, no wait, false alarm,” Twilight said, a sigh of relief and a little giggle escaping her lips. “Nevermind entirely.”

Celestia looked over to her with an eyebrow raised, then followed her gaze to the ice sculpture in the punch bowl. She studied it for a second, then it hit her: when her gaze shifted away from its eyes for just a second, there was a flash of something. She focused on them again, this time noting their transparent stare gazing at the doorway behind her. Sure enough, when she lifted her gaze away and quickly darted back again, those freezing pupils were now looking directly at her.

She smiled and shook her head. “He has a lot to learn about subtlety and disguising himself.”

“And thank goodness,” Twilight said with a shiver. “Can you imagine if he was actually able to manage a subtle prank!?”

Both alicorns shared another ruffle of feathers and a shiver up their spines. As if regular Discord wasn’t bad enough, they had to go and imagine some sort of combination between him and Chrysalis! Now there was a match made in hell!

“I’m going to drop by the kitchen if you don’t mind, Princess,” Twilight said, scurrying off in the direction of slashing knives and somepony yelling in Prench. “Just to make sure Pinkie hasn’t driven the staff insane. You can keep an eye on him, right?”

“Of course, my faithful former student!” Celestia chimed, ignoring the slight tug at her heartstrings that came with throwing in that “former.” In truth, she was incredibly proud of the mare her little Twilight had grown into, but something about looking at that mare and seeing those wings and imagining the fact that she could still remember the days when she would just sit by the fireplace with a book in her hooves and a little lavender unicorn in the crook of her forelegs, begging her for just one more chapter, and knowing those days were gone forever…just like so many others…

A pony with too much hair gel in his mane passed by with a tray full of cakes balanced on his back, and Celestia snatched one up greedily. She took her time with it, of course, she was still in the public eye, but proper dieting be damned, these were just the sort of thoughts that needed cake!

She bought the fork to her mouth, sinking her teeth into what would most surely be chocolatey-deliciousness…and had to purse her lips together at the mixture of toothpaste and jalapenos that slid over her tongue. She managed to suppress a gag, but only just barely. Using a will born from centuries of political discourse with some of the most intolerable ponies to ever walk the face of the planet, Celestia maneuvered herself across the dance floor, managing a smile here and a tight-lipped nod there until she reached the nearest gold-plated garbage can, where she discarded both her plate and her cake with one decent spit.

Taking a few, gasping breaths, she washed the taste out of her mouth with a gulp of wine, minding the large spider skittering along the rim of the glass. Finishing her sip, she eyed the brown-furred little thing with a disapproving glare. “That was a nasty, dirty thing to do, and you know it.” She hissed.

The spider promptly fell over and rolled along the edge of the glass, its eight legs wrapped around its thorax as a familiar, though more high-pitched, chortle filled the air. With a poof, a tiny version of Discord’s shaggy head appeared in place of the massive spider’s eyes and mandibles. “Come now, Princess, you didn’t really expect me to allow this party to pass without one or two little jabs, did you?” He asked with his trademarked grin.

She regarded him coolly. “Keep the foals in the waiting rooms and nurseries in my castle entertained and I’ll consider not distributing cans of Raid to the castle waitstaff,” she said.

At that, Discord-spider paused, looked up at her, and rolled his eyes. “Oh come now, Princess, what do you take me for?” He dipped a spindly leg into the remnants of her wine and stirred it about, summoning images of foals playing happily with stuffed animals that had suddenly become animated, oohing and aahing as teddy bears juggled stuffed parrots, which in turn took off to perform loop-de-loops and divebomb the caretakers.

Celestia couldn’t help but feel something warm in her chest at the sight. “You little sweetheart,” she cooed.

Discord held up another leg. “Oy, save the sweet-talk for someone else! I don’t go down on nopony on the first date!”

She nodded with her own, trademarked, sage little smile. “That being said, you still owe me for the cake if you went out and entertained those foals anyway.”

“What!?” He gasped, his spider body vanishing in a poof and returning to its original form. He stood up in the remaining wine like it was a kiddie pool, his arms propped up on the rim of the glass. “How does that work!? If I screw up and need to be punished, that’s my punishment, but if I’m proactive and actually good and earn karma points by doing something positive ahead of time, that requires more punishment!?”

“Oh, quiet, you big baby,” she whispered, that sage smile still playing on her lips as she laid down just off to the side of the dance floor, where everypony was too busy foxtrotting and waltzing to notice one alicorn princess hiding in a dark corner. “I just want to know what you have planned for the statue.”

To her surprise, he cocked one of his massive eyebrows at her. “Statue? Whatever do you…” he trailed off as he followed her gaze to the punch table, then his jaw dropped. His paws went to his cheeks. In a flash, he materialized to his full size, wearing a beret and white pinstriped shirt with a pencil-thin mustache on his lip. “Brilliant! Gorgeous! Tres magnifique!” He enthused as he strutted away, apparently forgetting all about the princess.

She watched him leave, that little crevasse between her eyebrows making a reappearance as she raised the glass to her lips again, then she remembered Discord’s spindly leg dipping into the wine and thought better, setting the glass down on the next waiter’s tray that passed by. She frowned. Had Discord really not even noticed the statue? Or had he only pretended to throw her off his trail?

Well, either way, she was bound to find out what he had planned sooner or later. And really, the surprise would be well worth the wait. This was Discord they were talking about, after all.

“Attention, everypony!” A particularly well-dressed waiter stood up at the head of the banquet hall, right in front of the tall, pearl-colored doors leading into the commencement hall. “May I have your attention, please? The time has come for the ceremony!”

The ponies began filing out of the room, finally allowing Celestia a view of the six mares chatting amicably near the back. She beamed. In a way, this was their day too. The reformation of Discord would be an accomplishment to ring down through the centuries, and it never would have been possible without the efforts of all six of these wonderful mares. Now, if she could just discern what Discord had planned, everything would be perfect.

She joined the slow, calm river flowing through the doors, trotting easily towards the main podium. She beamed as the six took their places right at the bottom of the podium, front and center as VIPs with Fluttershy right in the middle. This, of course, was no mistake: the six all had their history and times as friends with Discord, but Fluttershy would always hold a special place in his heart, and by the way the ponies around her offered proud hooves on her shoulder and jovial jabs to her foreleg (as was the case with Rainbow Dash), they all knew it too. The others might consider him a decent friend and ally, but Fluttershy and Discord were best friends, and nothing could change that.

Nodding, Celestia gazed out over the crowd of mostly bored-looking nobles and began the speech she had spent the entire night preparing. “Citizens of Equestria, mares and stallions alike,” she began, her voice carrying through the room thanks to the perfect acoustics it had been designed for. “We are gathered here to witness the bestowing of a great honor: the Equestrian Award for Outstanding Displays of Friendship and Harmony. For centuries, this award has been given to only those citizens that have carried out the greatest acts of courage and charity in the name of the values Equestria stands for: harmony, peace, and friendship…”

Were it not for the sheer size of the crowd before her, Celestia might have noticed the shadow crouching in the corner and whispering: “Bullshit.”

“…now, we stand here today to welcome a new friend in the ranks of those that have earned this award, though I must say, he has always been quite the unlikely candidate.” She suppressed the urge to giggle at herself. Discord receiving the highest honor Canterlot could bestow on an average civilian would have been downright unbelievable just five years ago. In fact, a few centuries ago, bringing up the mere possibility could have been interpreted as an act of treason in some parts of Equestria! “Now, will Discord of Equestria take the stand?”

There was a long minute of silence. Somepony in the crowd coughed. Celestia shifted uncomfortably. This…hadn’t quite been what she had expected. A tidal wave of maple syrup, perhaps, but this silence? What was Discord up to?

“Sorry, sorry!” A familiar voice gasped from the back of the crowd. Celestia looked up, an eyebrow cocked, as Discord shuffled hurriedly through the doors, the unsecured tails of his tuxedo flapping in the wind as he rushed to the stage.

“Bit late, I know, met a terribly attractive chap and I just…ope!” He gasped, hurrying through the crowd. He vaulted up to the podium, grabbing the microphone and awkwardly shoving Celestia out of the way.

“Sorry, sorry, so sorry!” He gasped, the microphone squealing. He reached into his jacket and produced a stack of speech cards, only to have them fly out of his talons and scatter all over the ground. “Um…sorry…” he grinned sheepishly as he stooped to pick them up.

Celestia frowned. A hurricane of beavers, she’d been expecting, but this awkward mess? Was he really so flabbergasted to be on the receiving end of praise? Or was this the setup for something bigger? Just what was he planning?

“Um…” he started, earning another squeal of feedback so loud that the loudspeakers aimed into the crowd visibly trembled. He grabbed the mike and grinned sheepishly. “Er…sorry…uh…okay. Let’s get this started.”

He visibly settled himself, his fur rustling and his shoulders tensing a moment before all falling back into a relaxed position. He opened his eyes, smiling placidly, exposing his snaggle-toothed smile. “Greetings,” he said, folding his hands together on the podium. “Let me just start off by reinforcing what the Princess said: that I am the last weirdo on the planet anypony should’ve expected to win this award. There is no denying that.”

“Y’all can say that again!” Applejack guffawed, earning a half-hearted roll of laughter from the rest of the audience.

“Yes, well,” Discord coughed and, dear sweet Celestia above, was he blushing!? Okay, stop the ride, Princess Celestia had officially seen everything now. Time to get off. “I can’t say it’s been the smoothest or most pleasant of rides, getting here, in this hall.”

At this, he actually appeared to shrink. A pair of glasses appeared on his face, just for him to dramatically remove them and gaze at the audience. “Let’s get this out of the way: I’ve hurt ponies. I’ve hurt…lots of ponies. I have assumed control of Equestria through sheer force two times now, and assisted with a third, not only derailing a monarchy that has ruled this land through a thousand years of peace, but also establishing a rule under which millions suffered. Twice I’ve twisted this land to something that ponies could only just barely exist in to suit my own selfish needs, and the third time I tried it…”

At this, he looked directly at Fluttershy, whose big, blue eyes watered under his gaze. “I made the biggest mistake of my life. I did the one thing I wish I had the power to take back. I betrayed the trust of a good friend for no reason, none whatsoever.”

Fluttershy choked up, tears soaking her cheeks while Rainbow offered a comforting wing. Still, Discord carried on. “It was then that I realized just how far the depths of my betrayal went. And I resolved from that point on, I would earn that trust back. Not just from that one pony, but from all of Equestria. This award,” he actually paused to look sheepishly over at Celestia. “Sorry Princess, it’s nice, but all it is to me is a confirmation that I’m on the right path. What I want, the trust and adoration of the ponies I’ve so wronged, is still a while away, but hey…”

At that, he turned back to the crowd, smiled that charming little half-smile he’d mastered, and shrugged. “…I gotta be doin’ somethin’ right, eh?”

A few seconds of silence fell. Then, Fluttershy stood out of her seat and started clapping her hooves. Twilight was right behind her, stamping her hooves, and the remaining Elements were just a second behind that. The clapping spread from them, radiating out through the crowd, a few of the nobles even cheering. Even Blueblood recovered from his drunken, lonely stupor long enough to raise a wine glass in a semi-toast before dozing again.

“Thank you,” Discord said, wiping away tears from his eyes. He inhaled, then exhaled. “And…now that we got the mushy shit out of the way…”

At that moment, a watermelon the size of a Tatzlwurm dropped from the sky and slammed into the stage, completely flattening the podium Discord had been standing at. “WHATWHATWAHTWAHTWAHT…” Celestia started in a panic, until Discord rematerialized sans tuxedo atop the melon, eyebrows bobbing at the crowd. In one swift move, his beret and pinstripe shirt reappeared on his body, along with a gigantic mallet covered with spikes.

“He’s gonna blow it up!” Some noblemare screamed from the front, and the ponies swiftly descended into their usual mass chaos as they all crowded the doors at the same time in an attempt to save their expensive formal wear. Twilight only sighed. She really should have seen this coming. Celestia could only smile down at her and shake her head.

“Here,” Pinkie said, and Twilight took one look to her side to find her friends all donning rain ponchos, all matching the color of their fur coats, a lavender one matching her own coat clenched in Pinkie’s hoof.

“Well, at least somepony saw this coming,” Twilight said with a tiny smile and a shake of her head. After securing her poncho, she looked up to see Discord raising his sledgehammer and looking to Celestia with a wink. She in turn just smiled and shrugged, and that was all the go-ahead he needed.

Discord’s sledgehammer rose high above his head, the sheer momentum of the swing lifting him off his talons until they were kicking gleefully in the air. His downswing came with the force of a comet, barreling right towards the rind as the ponies watched with growing anticipation. At least, until somepony in the crowd screamed: “What a load of utter horseshit!”

The hammer stopped an inch away from the melon’s hide. Discord peered up quizzically, looking around. “I’m sorry, but who…”

“You heard me…” a tall and lanky figure dressed in a dirty, patchy cloak stepped out of the crowd. The figure pointed an accusing hoof at the Element Bearers. “We all know the truth! Equestria never would’ve accepted you if it didn’t have to! If it wasn’t for the fact that you can turn the whole world upside-down with a snap of your fingers, you’d be in the dungeons right now, or worse!”

The Bearers all shied away from the pony’s accusing hoof. Discord, meanwhile, started to snap his fingers, decided against it, and instead dispelled the mallet and watermelon away with a thought. “And who, pray tell, might you be to make that judgment, hmm? I suppose you have some amazing insight into friendship that nopony else has?”

“Oh, in fact I do. I know a lot more about the real nature of Equestria’s friendship just all too well!” The accuser snarled at the ponies remaining in the room, turning to each of them in turn, first regarding the Bearers and Princess Celestia, then wheeling around in a one-eighty to level that same accusing glare from beneath their hood at the nobility still crammed in the doorway. “The fact of the matter is that Equestria’s friendship is for ponies and ponies only! Everyone else? Well, they can fuck off and die for all you care!”

“That’s not true!” Twilight said, stepping in between her friends and the newcomer, her wings primed out behind her and ready for battle, poking through the holes conveniently sliced into her poncho. “Equestria is for everyone, as is our friendship!”

A long, slow clapping filled the air, along with a laugh so dry and humorless it nearly froze Celestia’s heart to hear it. Some…thing stepped out of the shadows, bringing its fleshy, hairless hands together, its laughter sounding from behind what appeared to be a surplus gas mask from her armed forces, though heavily modified to remove the distended extra area around the snout. The creature’s strange, muffled laughter continued, its head bobbing up and down in time with its slow, mocking applause.

“My word…what is that thing?” Rarity gasped.

At that, the creature stopped abruptly. Its hands clenched into fists so hard they shook, then fell to its sides. The laughter stopped as well. Somehow, the cold, raging silence that fell was even worse than that awful laughter, as the thing just stood there and appeared to be glowering at the Element Bearers, the only sound a loud wheeze of air rushing through the mask’s respirator.

“Oh, this?” The pony snickered. “Careful now, I wouldn’t go calling my little pet a thing. That’s a very good way to lose your tongue.”

“Enough of this,” Celestia bellowed, swooping off the stage and landing between the Element Bearers and the pair standing in the middle of the room. “Who are you to show up here in a time of celebration and insult not only my ponies, but my nation as well!?”

“Oh, who am I!?” The pony yelled. “Who am I!? Let me show you who I am!”

All at once, the stained glass at both sides of the hall shattered, cascading onto the guests’ heads. Soon, little black bodies swarmed into the air, and they weren’t the only ones. In the dining hall behind them, an entire platoon of changelings appeared from the buffet table, decorations and pots crumbling and shattering with shards of porcelain and glass. Even the Discord-shaped sculpture in the bowl crumbled to reveal a trio of changelings in full armor, snarling and hissing at the guests that hadn’t already been chased off by the threat of watermelon pulp on their suits.

“NO!” Discord gasped, reaching towards the punch bowl and sinking to his knees. “Why couldn’t it have been me!?”

“Oh, don’t worry,” the pony cackled. “We’ll be getting to you soon.” Her voice rose over the buzzing of insect wings, bellowing into a full-on laugh that filled the halls. Her hood fell back, revealing rows of fangs and slit-like, predatory irises. Celestia glowered at the creature. A part of her had known who she was dealing with from the very beginning, but still she had hoped it wouldn’t have come to this. Not again.

“Hello again, Chrysalis,” she hissed, her head lowered, her horn glowing.

“Oh, am I that obvious?” The pony asked, the last bits of her façade burning away, that familiar, old, crooked horn replacing the straightened pony horn on her head while her soft, pony coat disappeared to reveal a hard carapace. Chrysalis put a hoof to her chin and stuck her lower lip out. “Darn, I suppose my infiltration skills haven’t improved much since the wedding. By the way, where are the pink slut and the white doofus? I tried to pay them a visit earlier, but alas, I couldn’t find them anywhere.”

Celestia’s hooves stomped into the marble with all her might, leaving cracks. “Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadence are north, ruling the Crystal Empire as they have been since they defeated Sombra! And besides,” she smirked. “I should think you would speak of the pair that defeated both you and your swarm so easily with a little more respect.”

Chrysalis’s eyes ignited. Even the two-legged creature standing at her side took a small step away from her as her emerald eyes focused on the Princess. “You would do well to remember who defeated who in a one-on-one duel, Princess,” she hissed in that strange, multi-layered voice, her head lowering. “Unless you wish for a repeat of that debacle?”

“Are you going to talk all day, or are we going to do this already?” Celestia growled.

“Tch,” Chrysalis grinned. “I thought you’d never ask.”

All at once, she whipped around with an emerald blast, hoping to catch the princess off-guard. No such luck: Celestia was already taking wing before Chrysalis attacked, swooping over the dark-green wave of pure magical flame and replying with a couple quick shots of her own, in rapid succession. A hasty shield blocked both, however, as well as the follow-up buck Celestia attempted.

Chrysalis smirked. “Is that all you’ve got? I know I caught you by surprise at the wedding, but if I’d known you were this pathetic, I might have dragged it on awhile for your ego’s sake.”

“Shut up and fight,” Celestia growled, slamming the shield with a wide-ranged energy beam, against which the shield disintegrated like a Kleenex in the heart of a boiler room’s furnace. Of course, Chrysalis simply ducked and fired wildly, ruining Celestia’s shot and forcing the Princess to retreat.

She turned back on the throne room, her glare darting back and forth across the hall. Luna appeared from behind a vase, and immediately smiled and galloped towards her. “Sister!” She gasped. “It took me so long to fight my way here! Art thou wounded…”

That was all she managed before Celestia sent her flying with an energy blast to the chest, glaring at the midnight-blue body as it crashed against the far wall and slumped to the floor. “You didn’t really expect that to work, did you?” She asked.

In a flash, the blue body vanished and became dark chitin, Chrysalis sitting in Luna’s place. She shrugged. “Worth a shot,” she said, then she glowered at the Princess. “Ah well, good to know you can’t be fooled all the time, Sunbutt. Just most of the time.”

Celestia remained where she was, not replying, just glaring.

“All out of witty comebacks, hmm?” Chrysalis smiled politely. “What a coincidence: I’m all out of patience for this battle.”

At once, she darted to her hole-filled hooves and unleashed a blast of fire so large, that for the few moments of its existence, it outshone Celestia’s sun. In those moments before impact, Celestia could at least be grateful that the nobles’ sense of self-preservation meant they were out of the firing range. It would have killed her if anypony had been caught in the crossfire.

There was no pain. That was the part that surprised her most. Perhaps Chrysalis had added a numbing agent to the spell as an act of mercy, or perhaps the pain was simply so great her mind could not register it. Celestia’s money was on the latter, for what it was worth. Either way, there was a flash of light, and suddenly she was on her back, looking up, wheezing, barely able to move, and Chrysalis was standing over her with that smirk.

“You have my little pet to thank for that power,” she said, still smiling. “His ambient love may not have been as powerful as Shining Armor’s, but it is plentiful, and over the months it has given me power I have never known before.”

Chrysalis’s little smile turned into a little frown as, through some super-pony effort, Celestia found the power to smile back. “What’s that?” She asked, tapping a hoof to Celestia’s throat, and to her gratitude, the Princess finally found her voice returning. “What’s so funny? You’ve lost.”

“That’s…what I wanted you to think…” Celestia chortled, her breath coming in painful gasps between words. “What…did you think…Discord…and the Element Bearers…were up to…while we were fighting?”

Chrysalis frowned, and then her mouth dropped open, exposing her lower fangs as her eyes widened. She turned back to the window, taking in the distinct lack of draconequii and Element-Bearing ponies. Yet when she turned back, the smart little smile had returned.

“All according to plan,” she cooed, her eyelashes fluttering.

Author's Notes:

And yes, I know tres magnifique is nonsense French, to all you Francophiles out there. I just thought it sounded funny in this particular spot, aight?