Role-Reversal! Celestia finds a Child in her Bed!
By Paton Pendeng

Whilst a human dealt with his problem of finding colorful cartoon equines in his bed every Monday, a pony of Equestria was about to find herself in a similar situation.

The cool evening air was crisp, and the sun had long since its ascension dipped over the horizon, relenting the sky over to the night and stars. The hour seemed to stretch beyond the rules of time as Celestia trotted down through the halls of her castle. Gone was her elegant stride and perfect poise, and in it’s place was a casual slouch and a flounce in her step.

It had really been a long day, and the alicorn should know how long it truly was. She was awake at the first sign of daylight and was awake even long after the sun disappeared below the horizon. To summarize her daily schedule, she would work on bureaucratic forms and paperwork before being interrupted to hold daily court by a different maid and/or servant each day. It wouldn’t be a big deal if she had made more than a scratch in the seemingly endless pile of forms.

Holding daily court meant only one thing: sitting on a throne and listening to ponies and their endless griefs and troubles. Some were reasonable, but not enough to make the day less aggravating. Sure, Celestia loved her subjects and would do anything to help them, but there was a fine line between being sympathetic and being a living punching bag. Who knew that anypony, anyone, could be so petty. Taxes are too high, the schools are not good enough, my property is facing the west side of the castle, but I want to see the east side. Celestia tried to find a job that could be worse than hers, and nearly succeeded. Customer Service came close to her job, but it had one benefit: the workers could quit their job.The white alicorn was stuck with the job of eternal leader and private punching bags.

After daily court came the horrible externality that came with her forced occupation: listening to her bosses. While it was indeed true that the alicorn was in fact the ruler of Equestria, she had to still be ordered around, or as the royal cabinet put it, “suggest to her the correct course of action.” If they meant by correct course of action to listen to a bunch of old ponies quarrel about the government's state of peace, then yes. The royal cabinet definitely was giving it’s fair share of advice.

After the meaningless debate of hot air and fumes, Celestia had free time. She was free to do whatever she wanted, and what she really, really wanted to do was to take all the annoying paperwork still unfinished and throw it into the great roaring flames of the sun. Sadly, that would mean that she had officially gone off the deep end, and needed to step down from her rule. However, it wouldn’t be that simple. First her cabinet would vote to kick her out, but then the citizens of Equestria would go against them and demand her back into office, to which she would do reluctantly out of the pity and annoyance by her little ponies. In other words, nothing would happen except the stack of bureaucratic nonsense would somehow find a way to grow exponentially since the previous day.

The alicorn trudged along the long corridors of the castle. She had only just recently finished the infuriating paperwork, and had been very rained by the task. The thought of doing it all again made Celestia not in the mood for anything at all. Well, that was half-true. If there was one thing she wanted more than anything right now, and the only real perk of her job, it was her super sized bed made from the finest and softest down of the near extinct Roc plucked by tender-loving earth ponies who know how not to disturb the fanciful creatures, and the fluffiest of any cloud imaginable crafted carefully by only the most skilled cloud-shaper pegasi, which were reinforced by the strongest and most durable spells casted by the most well-learned unicorns in the subject.

Yes, her bed was probably the finest in the world. How else would anyone expect her to get anything close to her achievements of the day if she slept on a bargain brand mattress? It would be impossible.

The alicorn quickly walked into her room, casting what little magic she had to illuminate it in a soft glow. Her golden slippers and tiara were the first to come off, and thrown across the wide expanse of a room. Next was her golden torc, which was also similarly flung across the room. She then cast her eyes to look upon the heavenly circular mattress.

Everything was absolutely perfect, except one small thing lying beneath the covers and sleeping peacefully. Celestia grimaced, as if she had thrown her etiquette across the room with her royal garb. She crept around the edge of the bed to better observe the uninvited guest.

She nearly groaned in confusion and despair. There was a human. Yes, she knew of humans due to her students latest “research” into them from using a dimension hopping spell stolen from her sister. While normally Celestia would be very concerned of how this human made it into Equestria in the first place, she found herself placing it on the back-burners for the moment. Celestia freely admitted that she was selfish and a bit greedy sometimes. Heck, she nearly blasted Pinkie Pie for devouring her cupcake of choice and nearly did it again before Celestia had any more of the scrumptious looking dessert.

Truthfully, she was going to wake this human up and ask what the big idea was before she took notice of something that her investigative mentality screamed from the back of her mind. The human was… smaller than what Twilight had described and frankly, a bit more cute as well. The only way to describe her facial features was with the word innocent. From her golden locks of hair to her small form being dwarfed by the massive comforter of the bed.

Quickly adding up the variables in her head, Celestia made a quick revelation. The human was a human foal. Her once annoyed and hot tempered was forcefully doused by her sense of good. If she told off the human, she would be no better than a domestically violent pony. Her rationale quickly began to convince her to let the human sleep in the bed. If she woke her up, then that would be something to really push her over the edge. Plus, she only took up a small portion of the mattress, and Celestia didn’t exactly fill the mattress up either. If she was just careful enough she could probably slip under the covers on the other side and fall asleep as well.

Her plan came crashing down upon her quite harshly as the girl beneath the covers stirred.

Panicking, and becoming very frustrated, Celestia bashed her skull upon the floor only once to vent her anger. The child would be one of two things: 1.) she would be frightened and begin to ask where her mom and dad were before crying loud enough for the guards to hear, become curious and barge in unannounced causing a whole new mess of problems for her to deal with on absolutely no rest whatsoever. 2.) The child would believe to be in a dream and tear-ass through all of Equestria and causing a mess which Celestia has to clean up.

Celestia’s hoof slapped her, bring her back to some semblance of her senses. She could make this work. If she could handle adults being childish for half the day, then by Faust she could handle a child. Her posture fixed itself, and persona of false serenity overtook the alicorn as she smiled softly at the child.

The human child sat up in bed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Normally, Celestia’s emotional shield would hardly become nicked by such an action, but the child’s hair had obtained a wild cowlick that defied gravity in a crescent shape. That was the first crack at her shield, and the next came from the little groans of sleep that coupled with the eye-rubbing. Her shield was definitely fractured by this display.

What brought it crumbling down was the child’s sleepy-headed, half-lidded gaze that, when completing the barrage of cuteness, was aimed in the general direction of the door.

“Hnnnnnggg…” Celestia thought to herself, biting back the feeling in her stomach. “Note to self: schedule an appointment for the doctor for testing of diabetes.”

The sleepy little girl looked around as the sleep was blinked from her eyes. She did not sream or shout as Celestia first predicted.

“Good morning, young one,” Celestia greeted softly. Her facade was still going from sheer willpower. She knew exactly how to act, and prided herself in maintaining it in whatever situation she found herself in.

The little girl leaned forward, looking directly at Celestia with an unreadable expression. Celestia fought back the instinct to lean back and simply sat down. She didn’t fear the child. As the little girl leaned closer, to examine her Celestia assumed, a small hand rose from the mattress.

Then, tentatively, the little girl gently reached out to Celestia, and poked her muzzle. Celestia could’ve sworn that she heard a “boop” sound as she did it.

With a look of confusion spreading across her face, the little girl leaned back.

“Am I dreaming?” she asked with the most precious voice Celestia ever heard. However, upon registering the word dream, Celestia’s mind went into panic. Should she divulge the secrets of her world or deal with the rampaging child of doom?

“Why?” the alicorn asked diplomatically. She could already guess the answer, but she wanted to hear it from the child. “Why would you think this is a dream?”

In response, the girl leaned to her side, looking passed the alicorn and out the window. “It’s nighttime, and you said good morning,” the child answered.

… okay, so Celestia might be in a little over her head here.

“Very… astute…” Celestia replied in a broken voice.

“What’s a stoot?” the little girl asked. “Is it like a sneeze and a toot?”

“Ehh…” Celestia, could feel sweat beads gather around her forehead. “No… Astute means to… um… to make a very good observation.” She knew that the actual meaning would be out of the girl’s vocabulary.

“What’s observation?” the little girl asked without missing a beat.

“Well…” Celestia could see where this was going and knew how to nip it in the butt. “It means to look at something and know something about it. Like, you are sitting in my bed. That is an observation.”

The little girl looked down at the comforter for a moment and then to the rest of the bed. “... It’s really big…”

“Yes it is,” Celestia sighed. “Now, I think that you should go to sleep. After all, it is very dark.”

“But…” the girl began in a small voice. “But I just woke up, and you said it was morning, and... “ The little girl pushed some of the blankets off her her, revealing dark blue pajamas with faux-gold lace. “I’m not sleepy.”

Celestia shuddered. Did she even know how cute she was or was she a really good actor?

“Well… why we both sleep in if it is morning…” Celestia reasoned. “And maybe you should tell me what helps you to get to sleep so that we can sleep?”

The child looked up in thought, placing a small hand, partially obscured by a sleeve, up to her chin. Celestia was now more certain than ever that she had diabetes. “... Mommy used to sing me lullabies…”

“I don’t sing,” Celestia stated flatly. She had actually meant that she refused to sing at this hour of the night. Thankfully, the girl did not see the deadpan expression upon Celestia’s facial features.

“Well… Daddy sometimes gets me some warm milk… and then tucks me in and I go to sleep!” the little girls finished with a smile.

“Okay…” Celestia said with uncertainty. “I’ll see what I can do…” While Celestia could contact the kitchens with a single note, to request a single glass of warmed milk would be strange enough without the added room-service order. Nevertheless, Celestia made over to a small table, jotted down a quick order and sent it on its way.

“While that’s on its way,” Celestia began regretfully, but did not show any of it to the little girl behind her. “What shall we do?”

Meanwhile, in the kitchens, a single chef sat with a bored expression. He was the night chef and while cooking was a passion, he found the nights dull and boring. Luna was a very good and benevolent diner, but always seemed to order the same thing.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a fire crackling to life. The chef lackadaisically reached out with his magic and retrieved the message from his handmade brick oven. It didn’t take too long to read the order over, but he got stuck on the sender. It was from princess Celestia. THE Princess Celestia. He never had a chance to make something for her.

Alas, if only she ordered something more--

“...Zatz eet!!!” the inspired chef cried out to the empty kitchen.

“... and that’s how babies are born,” the little girl finished.

“... fascinating,” Celestia gasped with a horror stricken gaze. A sharp knock upon her door brought her out of her trance. She quickly walked over to the door, leaving the girl very curious.

When Celestia saw the child beginning to escape the bed, she alll b ut nearly jumped at her.

“N-now, you stay in bed,” Celestia said with a nervous and cheerful demeanor.

“Why?” the girl asked.

“I’ll tell you after I answer the door,” Celestia said after managing to tuck in the unexpected visitor. When she did manage to get the door open, she only opened it a crack.

“My finest greetingz to you, Princezz of ze Dawn,” said a stallion in an outrageous accent.

“Oh… hello,” Celestia greeted. She was caught off guard by the formality of the chef. “You’re not… Sunny Side-up…”

“No,” the chef replied with confidence. “However, it is my duty to create the most finest food for my Princesses, be it dawn or dusk. Ven I received you note, I immediately threw myself into the throngs of my passions.”

“Er…” Celestia didn’t exactly follow what he meant.

“True, it was a… simple request, but I would not give simplicity to my fair princezz. One tall Glazz of wam meelk. After a few momentz of thinkink…” a small silver platter, with a tall glass of milk floated into view. “I knew what troubled you. Cannot sleep?”

“Yes…” Celestia sighed. “You could say that…”

“Aha! Zen you shall enjoy zis masterpiece of Collation de Minuit.”

“... I”m sorry… um… what?” Celestia asked with a sigh. Of course she would get the dramatic one.

“Zis iz no simply store-bought grocery dairy boiled in a pot. Zis iz my cure for the common insomniac! Ze milk iz steeped and was straight from ze heartlandz of Stalliongrad. After zat, I added some zugar, honey, and just a dash of nutmeg-”

“Thank-you,” Celestia interrupted taking the tall glass off the platter. “I”m sorry, but… I really need to sleep.”

“But of course.” The chef bowed respectfully before the princess shut the door. Well, at least he had done something today...

“One glass of warm milk,” Celestia said cheerfully. She brought the cup over to the little girl who took it straight from the alicorns magic.

She took a small sip… and then another… then, she began to drink the entire glass. By the time she was finished, her eyes were glazed over as Celestia saw what could have possibly caused the alicorn to have a heart attack. She had a milk mustache.

“Are you tired?” Celestia asked in a knowing tone. She gently took the glass from her and placed it upon a table while the girl nodded slightly.

“Well, I guess it’s bedtime then…” Celestia said softly while her mind cheered for joy. She gently moved the girl over and slipped under the covers of the bed. The girl soon followed suit, an Celestia finally felt like it was a grand success… until she began to dim the lights in the room.

“No, no, no!” a small, frightened voice cried. Celestia sighed as the room lit up. Her facade had fallen away, and she was displaying her annoyance in full. She turned to the child with the intention of telling her to suck it up.

...And then she saw the little girl’s expression. Her eyes were watery and her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly.

“I’m scared of the dark…” she stated with a wavering voice. “I’m sorry…”

Celestia’s fury lasted for about a full minute before she let out a big sigh. With a face like that, she couldn’t stay mad. Luckily, Celestia had been in a similar situation. Luna, ironically, was once afraid of the dark as well.

“Alright then…” Celestia’s horn lit up as the room slowly dimmed to half power. “Is this okay?”

The little girl nodded while sinking into the bed covers.

“And this?” Celetia said as she reduced the light another increment. “Is this-”

“No!” the little girl said with a furious shake of her head. Celestia shifted her jaw. This was going to be a tough one.

“Come here…” Celestia sighed, reaching out a hoof to pull the little one up to her chest. Surprisingly, the little girl did not recoil, and actually rested her head against Celestia. The alicorn could feel that her face was a little damp

“Are you feeling better?” she asked softly.

“... I can hear your heartbeat…” The little girl said with a low voice.

For some reason, Celestia felt a warm, fuzzy feeling in her chest when she said that. It may have been that she was holding the girl like a mother would with a foal, or perhaps it was her sleep deprived mind making her hallucinate. Rather than groaning and dying of violent diabetes, she smiled ever so slightly in happiness.

“How would like to hear a story before you sleep?” Celestia asked softly.

“... okay…” the little girl said with a very tired nod.

Celestia’s horn lit up as she made herself more comfortable in the bed, still holding onto the child. The room dimmed imperceptibly, but the little one did not protest.

It suddenly occurred to Celestia that she could’ve used her magic to induce the girl to sleep all this time. Then, she suddenly remembered that she herself outlawed that sort of magic a long, long time ago. After Starswirl’s fiasco, she was forced to do it, or live with the memory of that bearded stallion turning Equestria into a giant experiment. He had no moral standards whatsoever…

“Once upon a time…” she began as her horn lit up. Her magic swirled about and took on a series of colors. Soon, they began to take on a new shape of two near identical equines. “There were two pony sisters…”

Celestia awoke instinctively. It was time to raise the sun. She left her mattress’ warmth and walked over to the window. Concentrating on the eastern horizon, her horn flared for a brief moment. Soon, the night sky began to turn dark shade of purple that was quickly brightening. Her horn flicked off just as the sun peeked over the horizon.

With a lost expression, Celestia looked over to her bed to find that the child was gone. Whatever force that brought her here must have taken her back. Celestia tried to sigh in relief, but found she could not do it. As strangely as it sounded, she felt more well rested than she could ever recall.

Perhaps that, during her night of playing mother, she found that she lacked something in her life. She never really wanted a spouse, but she never actually turned the idea of a foal away.

Maybe one day, when she finds herself with a job better suited for her, she might consider having one.

“Princess?” a shrill and chipper voice called with a short series of knocks. “It’s time to start the day! Rise and shine!”

She suddenly remembered that her desk would be stacked high with bureaucratic nonsense, and that there would be a long line of ponies demanding her attention. If she was extra lucky, her council would want to discuss the gryphon empire’s new aggressive approach to exporting services.

… Well, it was a nice thought anyways...