The sound of a cock crowing greeted me as I awoke. At some point in the night a proper blanket had been thrown over me and though I was loath to admit it nature was calling loudly and I would need to leave my burrito blanket nest. Carefully I extracted Tripod from the nest he had made in my beard and set him upon my pillow. He gave a small mewl of protest then did a fair impression of a croissant and began emitting small kitten purrs once more. With far less pain than the day before I sat up and congratulated myself on a job well done while my knee and shoulder asked if we could lay back down now. Unfortunately my bladder was the one calling the shots and I forced myself to swing my legs over the side of the bed. That was nearly my undoing. My knee reminded me in no uncertain terms that it was attempting to repair itself and anything short of bed rest was more than it could take.

Biting my lower lip I struggled to a standing position leaning my weight heavily on my good arm and the thankfully sturdy bedside table. I found myself in a quandary. I could stand with assistance but walking seemed to be out of the question. There was also the matter of not knowing where, or if, there was a bathroom and at this point the question was rapidly becoming moot. Finally my higher brain functions kicked in and I reached out for the chair Fluttershy has been knitting in earlier. It was undignified but it made a passable attempt at a cane.

At a snails pace I slowly made my way outside the room into the hallway using my improvised cane. Looking to my left I saw stairs leading downwards. To my right another door and then a third at the end of the hall. Taking a guess I inched further down the hall until I was at the end door. Sure enough it was a bathroom. Very femininely adorned as well. A small window let in enough light for me to see about handling my business. Fortunately these ponies had a concept of indoor plumbing and while a bit different than what I am accustomed to I was able to take care of my needs.

Turning to the sink I washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror hanging over it. To say I looked rough was putting it mildly. Months of neglecting my personal appearance had led me to grow a mountain-man beard. Streaks of gray showed prominently in the brown of my beard. Likewise I was beginning to see gray at my temples as well. I gave a disdainful look at my long brown hair. It had become ragged and greasy over the months since I...retreated from life. Looking myself over further I saw most of my bruises had already begun to fade. There was still a nest of healing scratches all over my chest and face but I counted myself lucky to survive the fall.

The fall, I remember burning but there was not a mark on me to indicate I had been touched by flame. Nor was I as injured as I should be. I should be dead. That phrase repeated itself over and over in my head.

With a sigh I pushed these thoughts aside and looked to see if there were any toiletries I could make use of to at least clean myself up a bit. Finding nothing I recognized beyond a brush I settled of holding my head in the sink and rinsing out my hair. Despite the protests of my inured side I was able to make at least some progress in looking presentable with just water and a brush. With a bit of difficulty I borrowed a pink hair tie (mane tie?) and pulled my mass of hair back.

Taking in my reflection again I wished once more for a razor so I could clean up my face, but that would have to wait. For now I need to find some clothing, other than my underwear, if I am to be meeting Fluttershy’s friend today. Making my way down the hallway I came to the top of the stairs and pondered a moment how to proceed. Shrugging and throwing caution to the wind I tucked my improvised cane under my arm and leaned heavily on the banister making my way down the stairs.

Once I had steadied myself I took in the ground floor of the dwelling. I was in a zoo. Almost everywhere I looked was a perch for a bird, a terrarium for a reptile, a cage for a rodent or some other accommodation for an animal. In the midst of all this was Fluttershy feeding a...is that a deer. Yes there is a deer in the house. It turned to Fluttershy and to my amazement said, “Oh Fluttershy I didn’t know you had company!”

Talking deer. Neat. I guess venison is off the menu now. With a chuckle I smiled and replied back, “No my dear, I am a patient of the little miss here.”

I laughed inwardly at the rhyme and the homophone I was able to throw in to the sentence. The doe at the table covered her mouth with a hoof and gave a polite chuckle, “Oh my Fluttershy, not only is your patient quite a strapping lad but he is funny too.”

Fluttershy for her part looked like she was about to turn a shade of red requiring special cameras to view properly. Taking that as a cue the deer stood from the dinner table where they had been sharing lunch and made for the door, “Thank you for the lunch Fluttershy and you for the laugh big fellow. If you are ever in the Whitetail woods ask for Lily Tail and I will show you around.”

The deer stepped through the dutch door and outside shutting the bottom half behind her then bounded down a dirt path with a giggle.

“So...what was that about?” I asked.

Fluttershy rubbed her hooves together in a bashful manner, “Lily Tail is a friend of mine from the White Tail woods. She is always making jokes about finding me a stallion.”

Were it not for my facial hair I think I would have joined Fluttershy in approaching a red-shifted quantum state.

“So, you said you had a friend for me to meet?”

“Oh yes!” She perked up, “Twilight Sparkle will be over in about an hour to interview you. She is really curious as to who and what you are and how you got here.”

I nodded, “Understandable, I don’t suppose my clothes are anywhere around here? I would rather not be near naked when I am about to meet your friend.”

She looked at me curiously, “Are you cold? I could light a fire I suppose.”

Then it struck me, she was wearing nothing but fur. “No little pony, humans wear clothes as a means of modesty and propriety.” Well that was mostly true.

“I would feel...indecent were I to meet someone without at least my pants on.”

Seeming to understand Fluttershy went to a side closet and rummaged around for a moment. While she did so I could also see my backpack. Ah my old friend I do so hope my tablet is in you and intact, I would very much like a book to read.

Fluttershy stepped back from the closet with my jeans neatly folded in her mouth and then set them on the couch.

“I hope you don’t mind but I mended them a bit, they had rips, dirt, and some b-blood on them.”

I looked over my old jeans and smiled. They were in pretty good shape considering their age and wear. I slipped them on and buttoned them, only wincing when I pulled them over my bandaged knee.

“Thank you Fluttershy, they are as good as new.” She beamed a small smile at me that would have melted the polar ice caps. I pondered her meek attitude and wondered if it was cultural or just her. I sat back on her couch and used my chaircane to prop my leg up.

“Before your friend gets here Fluttershy I wanted to say thank you. When I went in to the woods I didn't intend to come out. Now that I am here I don’t feel the need to leave the world behind just yet. Especially not when I have been given a whole new one to explore.”

I was unprepared for what happened next. A flying ball of yellow and fluff landed in my lap and pressed her whole barrel to my chest and gave a death grip of a hug. I learned two things in that moment. One that ponies are very tactilely affectionate and two Fluttershy is about the softest thing I have ever hugged and I used to have a big black lab that I would hug and she was soft too. Fluttershy by far was softer.

With her muzzle buried in my shoulder I heard her whisper just loud enough to hear, “You listen to me Mister, I don’t ever want to hear you talk about hurting yourself again. I put too much work into keeping you alive.”

Not knowing what to do I began petting her head and neck the way I would a large dog. She clung for a moment more before hopping back down. Shyly she said, “S-sorry, I get a bit emotional over hurt things.”

Curiously I asked, “Forgive me but is the subject of self-harm some form of taboo here? If so I apologize profusely.”

She shook her head, funny how some gestures are universal, “N-no not really. If somepony tries to hurt themselves or talk about it we support them and get them help.”

I nodded, “It is about the same where I am from as well. Still though I apologize for upsetting you.”

She smiled shyly again, “It’s OK, I guess, I am just really protective of my patients.”

Leaning back I closed my eyes while tilting my head back. “If it is all the same to you I think I will rest a bit until your friend arrives. Being up and about so quickly took a little more out of me than I thought it would.”

“Oh that is quite alright you rest until she gets here.” With that she hopped up on the couch beside me and began thumbing (hoofing?) through a magazine with a picture of a unicorn in a nurse outfit on the cover surrounded by dogs and cats wearing band-aids. The title read “Vet Life”.

Shaking my head I leaned back again and let my mind digest what I had learned so far.

Any question I had to as to Fluttershy’s demure nature went out the door when I met Twilight Sparkle. This...alicorn, that’s a new one on me, seemed to have nothing in the way of shame about things that piqued her curiosity.

“For the last time I am not taking my pants off. I don’t care if it is for science!” I held on to the waist of my pants for dear decency.

“Puh-lease!” she whined, “If I am going to do an accurate report on you I need to get an idea of your external and internal anatomy!”

“Did you think to ask if I might know something about that?”

The purple glow trying to tug my pants down faded and the purple alicorn acquired a look on her face that I have only seen when someone ate too much ice cream in one go. “Ask...ha...huh ha...noooo?”

I planted my face firmly in my palm, “Fluttershy are you sure she is a scientist and not some kind of...weirdo?”

Fluttershy nodded while Twilight looked at me like I had kicked a puppy, “I’m not a weirdo…”

Sighing I decided to start over, “OK Twilight let’s take it from the top. My name is Bear O'Hara. I am from the planet Earth. The nation called the United States of America. I am from the state of South Carolina. I went in to the woods on a...retreat.” I glanced over at Fluttershy who mouthed a silent thank you at glossing over my reason for being in the woods.

“After setting up camp I settled in to read. Some time later a creature I can only describe as a chimera appeared before me and told me some land called Equestria was in need of a champion and I was it. I was too out of it to argue and then somehow I was falling out of the sky and then woke up in Miss Fluttershy’s care.”

That was a more or less accurate summary for the curious alicorn.

After a moment her horn began to glow and reams of parchment and inkwells and quills flew out and settled on the dinner table where furious note taking began.

“OK we'll get back to how you got here later. Let’s focus on other things for now. How many genders do you have?”

“Two.”

“What do you eat?”

“I am an omnivore. My diet is mostly meat, fruit, vegetables, and the occasional small child.”

A look of horror came over the two ponies as their jaws dropped.

“I’m kidding about the small children unless you count chicken eggs.”

With a relieved look Twilight went back to writing and asked. “What did you do for a living?”

“I was a customs broker and before that I was an IT guy.”

“Um, can you explain what both of those are?”

“Well as an IT guy I basically fixed complex machines that others used to do their daily work but they themselves didn't know how to fix.”

She nodded and wrote that down.

“And customs broker?”

“Well I don’t know how your economy works here but in ours when we ship goods between nations there are taxes to be paid and official documents explaining in detail what the goods are and what they are used for so that the government will know what its citizens are moving across its borders.”

Twilight scribbled notes at a furious pace. I was content to let her catch up, watching practical magic at work was fascinating.

“So what other kinds of humans and other thinking creatures are in your world?”

That made me pause, “You mean like how there are pegasus and unicorn ponies?”

“And earth ponies yes.”

“Well then none. There is only one model of human, comes in two genders with two hundred thousand years of evolution backing us up.”

Twilight paused, “Two hundred thousand years? How old are you?!”

I shrugged, “Me? I am pushing forty. Assuming I keep healthy I have another thirty to forty years ahead of me. But what I think you mean is do we have two hundred thousand years of history. Yes and no. Our scientists have been able to trace our species roots about that far back. Otherwise our oldest recorded history is about nine thousand years.”

Twilight sat her quill down. “That...that is astonishing. Our recorded history is only a little over two thousand years. I bet there is so much you can teach us.”

I shook my head, “I am not so sure that is a good idea Twilight. Humans have made a mess of our world with our advances. Besides you have magic, we don’t. Who's to say you might not come up with a better way of things than we did.”

Twilight mulled this over a for a bit before saying, “You may be right or you may not. We can come back to that later. For now let me ask you a few more questions.”

“Go ahead.”

“What are your natural enemies.”

“None. Humans are apex predators. We have long since killed off or contained anything that can do us harm.”

Twilight paused again as if I had grown a third head while Fluttershy gave a little meep and hid behind her mane.

“Girls you have nothing to fear. We have evolved past our hunter gatherer roots. I personally have never hunted outside of a grocery store in my life.”

Twilight nodded slowly, “OK I can accept that, but when we start introducing you to others maybe you should keep that fact to yourself. Ponies get...skittish...around meat eaters.”

“Don’t worry Twilight, I think it will be awhile before I meet others. I still need to heal up and frankly I would like to learn more of your culture so as to not break any laws of offend anyone.”

Twilight smiled, “Well that's good. Now on the same subject do you have any natural weapons or defenses we should worry about?”

“Just my brain.”

Twilight tilted her head curiously.

“Meaning my intelligence. Compared to wild animals there are stronger and faster things than humans, but on Earth, nothing is smarter or more vicious.”

Twilight nodded and made another note.

“OK let me change the subject, why are you wearing those pants.”

Oh God not the pants again…

“Twilight my people have a taboo about nudity. Especially in mixed company. Unlike most four-legged animals us two-legged animals don’t have our...bits..retract when not in use. They dangle free as a bird unless covered.”

It is a funny thing to watch a pony blush. Especially a purple one. I reveled in my newly-found superpower of pony embarrassment. But with great power comes great responsibility. I must only use this power for good.

My wool gathering was interrupted by Twilight clearing her throat. “Oh sorry, went to space.”

“Are all humans like you?”

Thinking for a moment I chose to give a fully truthful answer, “No Twilight Sparkle. I am a poor representative of humankind. I have said and done things I am ashamed of. I have committed sins I can not atone for. No, if you want as shining example of humanity I am not it.”

Fluttershy seemed to sense some of the pain in my words and rubbed my shoulder consolingly with a hoof. I really need to figure out how these hoof things work.

Twilight made a few more notes then said, “I think that is all for now, I have a lot to go over back at Castle Friendship. If you don’t mind since I can’t do a visual exam would you consent to a magical scan?”

I cocked an eyebrow, “A magical scan? Explain please.”

“I would use a combination of active and passive magical scans to map your biology.”

“Will it hurt?”

“You shouldn't feel a thing.”

“Shouldn't or won’t?”

“Um...both?” She said with a nervous grin.

“Have you ever done this before?” I deadpanned.

“Of course! Just not to a human...or pony.” She trailed off.

With a sigh I said, “Consider this your informed consent. I don’t like doctors poking and prodding me. Fluttershy excepted since I am under her care right now. As my attending physician if she sees no harm I see no harm.”

Fluttershy beamed at the compliment and sign of trust, “I don’t see what it would hurt. Go ahead Twilight.”

Twilight instructed me to stand in the middle of the room and so there I stood propped up by the chaircane. I think I will call it Wilfred. Thank you for letting me stand Wilfred.

Twilight walked in a circle around me occasionally pinging magic off her horn like some kind of mystical sonar. After a few minutes of this she stood directly in front of me then let forth a cone of lavender colored light totally engulfing me. It felt like someone was blowing a breeze made of mint across my skin. My wounds screamed in agony and my sinuses opened so wide I could probably smell electrons were I so inclined.

“What the flying frakk did you do to me?” I cried out.

“That...that shouldn't have happened! That was just a simple body scan spell!”

I slowly calmed myself and hobbled on Wilfred back to the couch and laid down. “Well, what did you learn?”

“Nothing. It’s like your body just absorbed all the magic I threw at it. I couldn't see inside you, I couldn't read your ley lines or chakras. It’s like you weren't there at all.”

Now I admit I was starting to get a bit weirded out. “I think you should go Twilight. I am a bit exhausted after that and if Fluttershy doesn’t mind I think I would like to have some more of that delicious soup.”

Fluttershy nodded an affirmative and headed to the kitchen while Twilight glumly gathered her things. Taking pity on her I said, “Twilight I am not mad at you. This has just been the most overwhelming thing in my life since...well in a long time. We can continue another day, OK”

She nodded. “OK I guess maybe we did over do it a bit. Can I ask one more question though?”

“Sure.”

“Do all humans have two cutie marks?” She asked.

“Say what?” was my immediate reply.

“Cutie marks, she poked my upper right arm then gestured at the symbol on her flank.”

“Oh you mean my tattoos.” I said with realization dawning.

“Tattoo?” She said quizzically.

“You mean the symbols on your rears aren't something you acquire by choice?” I asked.

She shook her head, “No a cutie mark is a magical symbol that appears on us when we find our passion in life. Mine is symbolic of my expertise in magic.”

I nodded sagely having no clue what to make of that. But explained, “Tattoos are marking humans put on themselves by a process involving ink and needles. Some are just decorative, others have cultural, religious, or personal meaning behind them.”

She nodded, “So you chose these symbols?”

“Yes , I got the first one when I was twenty-seven. The second when I was thirty-one. The first is symbolic to me on how I look at the world. Trying to see and take in everything. The other is symbolic of my belief that freedom is a sacred right.” I explained.

Twilight nodded and took down a few more notes before putting all her stuff back into her bags. “OK then Bear, I’ll be going and studying my notes tonight. If you feel up to it we can continue day after tomorrow?”

I nodded affirmatively to her. She left with a smile and mumbled something about scientific breakthroughs. After a few moments the wonderful smell of soup filled the house and Fluttershy and I sat down to a quiet lunch. After helping clean up at my insistence I was shuffled back upstairs for more rest. Stopping by the bathroom I made use of the facilities again and washed up. Looking in the mirror I paused.

All the cuts and scrapes on my face were gone. Next Chapter: 04 - Myotonic Estimated time remaining: 5 Hours, 12 Minutes