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L'amore è femmina (Out of Love)

by Ospero

Chapter 1: Prologue: Suus

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Ponyville Library, 10.30 p.m., February 3rd, two and a half years after the Doubt incident

Twilight was already halfway up the stairs when she heard the knock on the door.

Who could that be at this time? she thought as she walked to the door. "Hello? Who's there?"

"Twilight? Can we talk?"

She took a second to recognize the voice, because it sounded curiously flat and was extremely quiet, barely above a whisper. When she did, she immediately drew back the latch and threw the door open.

The purple unicorn could barely suppress a gasp at the sight before her. The dragon standing in the doorway was soaked through and trembling, but as much as that alarmed her, it was his eyes that truly drove home the seriousness of the whole situation. They were dull and lifeless.

Spike's eyes never looked like this. Not when he was ill, not even during the worst time of his life, back when he'd finally had to face the fact that Rarity wasn't meant for him.

"Celestia's mane, Spike, what happened?" Twilight finally managed to ask.

He raised his head slightly, meeting her gaze.

"It's over." Still in that flat, quiet tone, but she could hear the pain beneath. He was barely keeping it together.

"What do you..." She broke off as the answer came to her. Only one thing could possibly have driven the dragon to march all the way from Sweet Apple Acres to the library at this time of night, through a sleet storm.

She led him to the sofa and levitated some towels over, drying him off.

"Now, what happened?" She hadn't used that tone in quite a while, and she'd secretly hoped never to need it again.

Spike blinked his nictitating membranes twice, and something inside him seemed to break. The next thing Twilight knew, he was holding on to her like a drowning pony, his body wracked by desperate sobs.

She didn't know how long she just sat there, silently trying to comfort him, but eventually the sobs subsided. Spike was still shaking, but the worst seemed to be over for the moment.

Twilight gently released the hug. "Better?"

The dragon swallowed. "No. It will never be better." His voice was rough, but at least the flat, dead tone was no longer there.

"So, what happened?" Twilight asked again.

"It's over, Twi. Apple Bloom doesn't want to see me ever again." Spike was trying to make it sound like a statement of fact, and failing miserably.

"Yes, I guessed as much, but how? Why did this happen?" Even in this situation, Twilight's analytical mind would not be denied.

"I don't know!" The dragon was almost screaming. "She just told me it was better for both of us if we broke it off. I have no idea why, or why it happened now."

"It wasn't anything you did or said?"

Spike frowned in concentration. "I've gone over everything that happened recently, and I don't think so." His hands clenched into fists. "Twi, what should I do? I don't want it to be over."

"Well, first you need to find out what happened. This might just be a big misunderstanding." Twilight thought for a moment. "I'm not good at this, so I think you should speak to somepony who is. You should go see Rarity first thing in the morning."

***

Carousel Boutique, the next morning, 9 a.m.

"Excuse me?" Rarity stared at Spike and Twilight. "She broke it off, just like that?"

Spike just nodded.

Rarity scowled. "That's not the Apple Bloom I know. Nopony from that family would do something like that. If you'd done something wrong, she wouldn't be shy about telling you."

"Then what happened? Some sort of mind control? Changelings?" Spike asked sarcastically.

"If you permit?" Fancy Pants was coming down the stairs. "I believe I might shed some light on this issue."

Spike looked at the stallion in disbelief. "How so?"

"I've come to know Rarity's friends quite well over the last years. This goes beyond Apple Bloom."

"What do you mean?" Twilight cut in. "Beyond in what way?"

Fancy Pants fidgeted with his hooves. "I don't want to speak ill of any of your friends, Rarity and Twilight, but I think one of them is behind this."

"What?" Rarity gave a short laugh of disdain. "None of our friends would break up a couple!"

"Not for selfish reasons, certainly. But what if they thought it was better that way?" Fancy Pants looked over at Spike. "He's a dragon, Rarity. Hatched and raised among ponies, certainly, but you and I know that there are ponies in this town who wouldn't want their daughters dating someone from a different species."

Twilight couldn't believe her ears. "Yes, there are such ponies, but our friends are better than that."

"No."

All eyes turned to Spike. Something in his eyes seemed to have ignited, and smoke was rising from his nostrils.

"There is a pony we all know and love who harbours such thoughts, and always has."

Rarity stared at the dragon. "What? Who is that supposed to be?"

Fancy Pants cut in before Spike could answer that. "Think a moment, Rarity. Would you want Sweetie Belle to date a griffon?"

The apparent non sequitur threw Rarity off for a moment. "Well – it would not be a pleasant thought, but I could manage."

"Is that how you see me?" Spike stared at Rarity in horror. "You can tolerate me, but that's it?"

Rarity seemed to realize what she had said. "Oh no, Spikey, but don't you see? We're all protective of the ponies we love."

"Exactly." The fog lifted in Twilight's brain. "We want to keep them from making terrible mistakes. And that goes double for family members."

"You don't mean ..." Realization dawned on Rarity's face, and she turned to Fancy Pants. "Applejack? She drove Apple Bloom to this?"

Fancy Pants breathed out slowly. "She was never happy to see her sister date a dragon, and I think she must have realized recently that this was not a teenage romance that breaks off after a short time. She probably really believes it best if Apple Bloom found a nice stallion to settle down with somewhere down the line." He turned to Spike. "What I wonder is, how did you know about that? Applejack has hidden those feelings very well, and I thought I was the only one to know about them."

"Doubt." The word sounded like a curse. "It was one of the things it tried to break me with. It showed me what the others thought of me, and that was one of those things. I had forgotten all about it until just now."

Twilight stared at Spike. They had never really talked about what had happened back then, mostly because none of them really wished to remember. "And you believe anything that thing showed you?"

Rarity cut in. "Actually, Twilight, Doubt never really lied to us. It misled us, surely, but was anything it said or showed a lie?"

"No," Twilight admitted. "It left things out, but it never invented anything."

"Whatever is true or not, what do we do now?" Spike looked expectantly at the others.

Fancy Pants sighed. "I fear there is very little we can do at the moment. If Applejack has really gotten to her sister with this, Apple Bloom will have to work this out herself. And that might take some time."

"What?" Spike jumped up. "So I'm just to take this lying down?"

"Spikey, Fancy is right. You would probably make things worse if you tried to force the issue now." Rarity walked over to the dragon. "Something like this happened to me when I was about your age. I fought for him, but that just made him think I was trying to badmouth his family, and so I drove him away eventually." She gave him a tearful look. "You and Apple Bloom are something special, Spikey, and I won't let you make the same mistake I made back then. Give it time."

"Okay, I will." Spike tried to smile. "How long do you think it will take?"

"Impossible to say. I think she will come around, but this is the Apple family we're talking about – they're reluctant to admit they're wrong." Twilight nodded at Fancy's words.

***

Four and a half weeks later, Sweet Apple Acres, 10 p.m.

"Well, I'll call it a day. Good night, everypony." Apple Bloom slowly rose from the table and walked upstairs.

Granny Smith looked after her, worry etched onto her face, before turning to her other two grandchildren. "What in Equestria is wrong with her? She hasn't been herself this past month. Is there anything I oughta know?"

Applejack coughed. "She had a nasty breakup recently. She'll come around."

"Breakup?" Applejack winced as she realized that she had piqued her grandmother's curiosity. "With who? And why do I only hear about this now?"

The orange mare looked at her brother, silently imploring him to help her out, and he took the hint. "Gran, do you remember that dragon friend of Twilight's?"

The matriarch looked at him in confusion. "Of course I do. I tend to forget things, sure, but not something like that. But what does he..." She broke off as the truth sunk in. "Wait. My granddaughter used to date a dragon?" Her eyes hardened as she looked at her grandson. "How long did this go?"

Big Macintosh cleared his throat nervously. "Over two years, ever since that Doubt incident."

"Are you kidding me?" Granny Smith's face was showing angry red splotches now. "My granddaughter has a dragon for a coltfriend for two and a half years, and nopony thinks to tell me about it? What were you whippersnappers thinking?"

"Truth be told..." Applejack hesitated. "We were afraid of how you'd react to it, and after it ended, there was no reason to tell you anyway."

"No reason?" Granny Smith was really getting into it now, her voice growing steadily louder. "Apple Bloom goes through her first love and heartbreak, and I'm not there for her because I don't even know about it? She probably hates me for that right now."

"She'll get over it, just as she'll get over him." Applejack was aware how shaky her voice sounded.

"Of course she will, but that's not the point, Applejack!" The old mare had gotten up from her seat and now was staring her older granddaughter in the face. "She's young, the wound will heal, but for her, it doesn't feel like that right now." She looked at Big Macintosh, then back to Applejack. "Have you two already forgotten what it was like for you?"

Applejack and Big Macintosh looked at each other. A dim memory rose in Applejack's mind, of a beautiful blue unicorn filly with a striped mane. Colgate and Big Macintosh had been inseparable for a few months, and then it had suddenly been over, and Applejack had seen her brother's more vulnerable side for the first time. Up until then, she had thought him unshakeable.

Her memories turned further, to a certain colt she had almost forgotten. Has it been that long? she thought, remembering all the tears she had shed over him. Now she couldn't even recall his name. But the pain was still there, dulled over the years, but not quite passed yet.

"Ah." Granny Smith smiled. "So you do remember."

"That wasn't the point," Applejack heard herself say. "It would never have worked between them anyway."

"What now?" Her grandmother stared at Applejack, and the smile vanished. "Whatever do you mean by that, young lady?"

"Gran, she's a pony, and he's … not." Again, the orange mare's voice started to shake, the words suddenly sounding a lot less logical and obvious than they had in her head.

Granny Smith turned her eyes skywards for one second. "Great Celestia, grant me patience." She fixed Applejack with the angriest eyes the younger mare had ever seen on her grandmother. "You think it can't work because they're different species? Need I even mention cousin Braeburn here?"

"That's different, gran, and you know it!" Applejack shouted. "Little Strongheart is a buffalo, Spike is a dragon. She won't ever try to eat Braeburn or anything!"

The silence that fell over the room was thick enough to cut with a sword. Big Macintosh stared at his sister in abject horror. "That's it? That's why you convinced Apple Bloom to break it off – because you're scared of Spike?" The stallion's voice was thick with disbelief and anger.

"Wait, wait. Did you say 'convinced her' to break it off?" Granny Smith stepped closer to Applejack until their faces almost touched. "You made her do it? They didn't just break up?"

Applejack shrank back from her grandmother's wrath, trying to find words to justify what she had done. It had seemed so clear at the time, but now, faced with her brother and grandmother, all her good reasons boiled away like fog in sunlight.

Granny Smith looked at Big Macintosh. "Okay, young stallion, out with it. What really happened?"

"Applejack talked Apple Bloom into breaking up with Spike." The stallion swallowed hard. "I thought she was right, that they were too different, and that it was just a teenage crush anyway. I swear, Gran, I had no idea that she was afraid of Spike, or I'd never have gone along with it. And now that I've seen how hard Apple Bloom is taking it, I'm not sure it was a good idea anymore."

"You're darn right it wasn't, young foal." The old mare was speaking more calmly, but she was still radiating fury. "Dang it, what a mess you've made of things. Applejack, off to your room. I'll take care of you tomorrow."

Without another word, Applejack slunk away, just hearing her grandmother's words to her brother. "Mac, first thing tomorrow morning, you go off to Ponyville and get Twilight and Rarity here. Some ponies need some sense talked into them, it seems." Hoofsteps towards the staircase. "And now if you'll excuse me, I have to speak to the only pony in this forsaken house who isn't completely out of her mind."

***

Apple Bloom had gone to her room, but sleep simply wouldn't come. It rarely did these days, and even then, her dreams wouldn't let her rest.

She was shaken out of her dozing by a knock on the door. "Bloomy?"

"Come in, Gran," Apple Bloom called out.

The door creaked open, and her grandmother walked in slowly. The filly was startled to see the look on Granny's face – grimly set jaw, eyes alight with anger.

"What's wrong? Have I done anything?"

The older mare smiled. "No, it's nothing you've done, sweetie. Your siblings, on the other hoof … but that's neither here nor there." Granny Smith lay on the rug next to Apple Bloom's bed. "Now why don't you tell me about that dragonfriend of yours?"

"He's not..." Apple Bloom choked slightly. "He's not my dragonfriend anymore. It's better that way."

"Yes, I know that's what Applejack told you." Granny Smith stretched out a hoof and softly stroked Apple Bloom's mane. "Is that what you really think?"

Over a month of suppressed emotion seemed to break loose inside Apple Bloom at that simple question. "No. No, I don't. Not at all." She looked at her grandmother pleadingly, tears in her eyes. "I know I'm young, and I know you won't take this seriously, but I love him." She turned away, burying her head in her pillow so as not to let her grandmother see her cry.

Soft words cut through the haze. "Then why don't you go and tell him?"

Apple Bloom lifted her face from the pillow and stared at her grandmother. "You … you believe me? And you don't mind?"

The green mare laughed. "Dearie, I have a grandson engaged to marry a buffalo, and a niece who eloped with a griffon." Apple Bloom stared at her grandmother, never having heard that last bit. "Oh yes. We rarely talk about your cousin Belle de Boskoop from Marestricht, but she writes to me every Hearth's Warming Eve. So tell me, why would I mind my granddaughter getting with a dragon, as long as they're happy?" She turned serious again. "And sure thing I believe you. You're broken up about this, even over a month after it supposedly ended. I've seen teenage crushes end more often than I can count, and I know the difference between a fling and the real thing." She pulled Apple Bloom into a hug. "If you won't trust your own heart in this, trust somepony with a lot of years under their saddle. Talk to him and try to mend the fences."

Apple Bloom leaned into the hug and let her tears flow freely. "I will."

***

The next day, Ponyville Library, 9.30 a.m.

"He's still not over it, is he?"

Twilight just shook her head at Rarity's question. "He does his chores, but he might as well be a statue otherwise. He doesn't cry anymore, but this is worse in a way."

Rarity took a sip of tea. "Perhaps he'll have to live with it after all. Could it be that my dear fiancé was a tad optimistic?"

Twilight had had similar thoughts over the last week, but she had always tamped them down. "No. I simply refuse to believe that. Can you imagine what that would do to our friendship with Applejack?"

"I can, and I have." Rarity's brow creased. "It's not a pretty line of thought, Twilight. The thought that she could do something like that to Apple Bloom and Spike..." She pressed a hoof to the table, flushing with rage. "Wherever Doubt is right now, I bet it's laughing its swirly head off. We don't need an ancient evil to destroy our friendships. We manage just fine on our own."

Before Twilight could answer, a third voice rang out from the library. "Twilight? Are you there?"

"In the kitchen, Big Macintosh," she called out, trading glances with Rarity.

The big red stallion entered and nodded at the two mares. "Good morning, ladies. Do you have a moment?"

"Of course we do, Big Mac. What's the matter?" Rarity asked.

"My grandmother sent me to fetch you." He lowered his head. "Truth be told, Applejack and I made a pretty huge mistake, and we're trying to put things right again."

"A mistake?" Twilight asked. "This doesn't have anything to do with Apple Bloom and Spike, by any chance?"

"Right in one, Twilight. AJ talked AB into breaking it off with Spike, and I let her." The stallion was shaking. "I'll go talk to him, but we need you to talk some sense into Applejack. I think she's realized by now how wrong she was about AB and Spike, but you know her. You'll need to force her into admitting it."

"Oh, we can do that, Big Macintosh." Twilight winced at the barely suppressed glee in Rarity's voice. "In fact, I daresay I'm looking forward to it."

The stallion looked out the window and pointed. "Then let's go. I believe she'll need a little space for herself and Spike."

Twilight and Rarity turned their heads and saw a certain young mare walking towards the library. They made their exit through the kitchen door.

***

"Spike?"

He was sure he had imagined that voice. Celestia knew he had dreamt about her often enough these past weeks. But the scent that reached his nostrils was unmistakeable – a light breeze of apples and freshly carved wood, the best smell in the world as far as he was concerned.

Spike turned slowly, as if afraid to scare her away. There she was, in the doorway, gaze cast down.

She raised her head, and he could see the tears in her eyes. Her lips were moving, but he couldn't hear anything. He walked over to her, coming to a halt right in front of her, and they simply stood like that for an eternity.

"I'm sorry."

The simple words broke the spell. They hugged, clinging to each other with all their might, determined to never let go.

"Don't ever do that again," Spike whispered. "Don't you dare do this ever again."

"I won't." Apple Bloom released the hug and looked Spike in the eyes. "Nopony will ever come between us again."

"So it was her?" Spike felt blood rush to his head. "Your sister? She did this to you?"

"Yes, but..." Apple Bloom exhaled slowly. "She meant well."

"Didn't seem like that from where I stand, AB!" The dragon could feel heat rising in his throat and had to fight a sudden urge to set something on fire. "She tried to get you away from me. That's not a wise thing to do to a dragon."

"Am I just part of your hoard?" Apple Bloom asked, half laughing. "Is that all I mean to you?"

The very thought was so absurd that Spike felt his anger subside just as suddenly as it had risen, replaced by bewilderment. "No … of course not. But who tells me she won't do something like that again?"

"She's free to try." Spike almost recoiled at the sudden icy fury in his fillyfriend's voice. "Family or not, I'd rather lose her than you. Do you remember what I told you in that hospital room after we'd defeated Doubt?"

Despite the situation, Spike smiled. "How could I forget that?"

She stepped closer, her muzzle almost touching his snout. "Let me say it again."

He pressed a finger to her lips. "I'll go first." His eyes met hers, and suddenly the last five weeks seemed to melt away like a bad dream. "I love you."

"I love you too." She pulled him into another embrace, and their lips met.

***

Sweet Apple Acres, half an hour later

Applejack had not slept well.

Truth be told, she hadn't really slept at all, mostly lying awake thinking about what she'd done, and why. She had barely noticed the sunrise, only dimly remembering that she was supposed to get to work, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

She recoiled at the knock on her door, and she shrank back even more when she saw Twilight and Rarity enter her room. The purple unicorn was radiating disappointment from every inch of her being; the white mare's face turned bright red when she saw Applejack.

Rarity slowly walked up to the quivering heap on the bed, thought for a second or two, and then struck Applejack across the muzzle with enough force to draw blood. "I never thought I'd have to say this to somepony I thought was a friend, but I'll rip you to pieces if you touch one scale on his cute little head!" She lifted her hoof to strike again, but Twilight managed to hold her back this time. "You hurt him, Applejack! Not physically, perhaps, but what you did to him was probably even worse. Why?"

Twilight turned her gaze to the farmer. "Yes, I'd like to know that too. Why did you do it, AJ?" In sharp contrast to Rarity, the purple unicorn was calm and controlled, but that was worse than the anger and violence. Applejack knew she deserved every bit of rage on Rarity's part, and she wished for Twilight to be angry as well.

"I don't know." It sounded every bit as pathetic as Applejack felt. "I thought I knew exactly what I was doing, that I knew what was best for my sister, but I was wrong."

"Yes, you were." Rarity seemed to have gotten herself back under control, just barely. "I never would have believed you were capable of something like that. I know Canterlot ponies, the snobby, arrogant, scheming type, who wouldn't lower themselves to doing what you did. Was Apple Bloom dating a dragon really that bad?"

"Yes!" Applejack leaped to her hooves and glared at Rarity, her own anger finally overcoming her shame and guilt. "Yes, it was! We all saw what he could become, Rarity, and I thought you'd be the last pony I'd have to explain that to!"

"Is that what this is about?" Twilight stared at Applejack, comprehension dawning in her eyes. "You're afraid of what he might be one day?" The purple unicorn continued on, as if needing to speak the words out loud to really grasp them. "You were willing to destroy your sister's happiness to avoid a possible bad future?"

"That's not all," Rarity said, now staring at Applejack as if seeing a ghost. "You were jealous."

"What?" Twilight's head swiveled around to the white unicorn. "Are you serious?"

"Oh yes." Rarity smiled icily. "Trust me, Twilight, two and a half years with Fancy Pants have taught me something about what ponies don't say. Applejack might have convinced herself that she was doing what was best for Apple Bloom, but in truth, she couldn't stand the thought of her sister finding her special somepony."

Applejack felt every word cut into her like a blade of ice. She's right, and you know it, a little voice in her head said.

"Applejack?" Twilight asked. "Is that true?"

"Have you heard what the stallions say about me?" Applejack could barely hold herself upright, she was shaking like a leaf, and she was breaking out in cold sweats. "They're afraid of me!"

"You know about that?" Rarity looked astonished. "How?"

"I have eyes and ears, Rarity, dammit! I know what they say when they think I can't hear them! Married to her work, not interested in stallions, too formidable to even talk to." Her legs gave way, and she simply let herself sink to the floor, hooves pressed to her face. "Yes, it's all true. My brother is the most desirable bachelor in Ponyville, and then my little sister goes and gets herself her special someone. I couldn't bear it. Two and a half years, and every time I saw them was like a knife in my heart."

When Applejack finally managed to peer past her hooves, she saw Rarity and Twilight stare at her, pity in their eyes. She immediately hid behind her hooves again - that was even worse than the anger and disappointment had been.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Twilight whispered.

Applejack laughed mirthlessly. "I don't like to talk about stuff like that, and I didn't want to rain on everypony's happiness."

"Oh, horsefeathers!" Rarity exclaimed. "You put on a mask for two and a half years, and you fooled us all. I knew what they said about you, but I never would have guessed you took it to heart like that."

"I didn't. At least, that's what I told myself." Applejack smiled bashfully. "I believed it, and so I could fool everypony else. How does that sound for the Element of Honesty?"

"It sounds like a living, breathing pony." Rarity and Applejack turned to Twilight, who was wearing a genuine smile. "You made a bad mistake, yes, but you are not a bad pony." The smile vanished. "You will have to apologize to Spike and Apple Bloom, and I hope they won't let you off easily, but if I have learned anything over the years I've been in Ponyville, it's that friendship isn't always easy - but it is always worth fighting for."

***

Somewhere...

A grey alicorn stared at a smooth golden disc in wonder. The glow had only lasted for a fraction of a second, but it had been there.

So the time is drawing near. They have avoided the pitfalls and snares until now, and even their own bad impulses haven't managed to draw them off course. Good. Very good. The keeper sighed and turned to gaze over the grey plain. He had never understood the appeal of love, with all the complications it introduced into perfectly working friendships. But the Six That Endured had held up in the face of many different kinds of adversity, including the kinds that needed no primordial evil behind them to endanger all that they stood for.

Eight will need to stand at the Dawn of the Seventh, and Six will be needed to pave their way.

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