Michael Bay. Some call him a cheap sellout, others call him a cheap sellout bastard. Either way, he had no time to read the reviews! Roger Ebert, pfft, he has no effect on Bay.

Michael's recent movie, Transformers 16: The Return Of Shia LaBolognese, was a massive hit, winning the Bay a nice pay. Fifty gazillion dollars in the box office and counting. He was truly a god amongst men. To top it all off, with his massive amount of undeserved money, Michael could now indulge in his favorite pass time, rolling in dough. So, he bought a massive bucket of cookie dough and spread it across the floor. He stripped himself naked and got his favorite butt-buddy, Dirk Pitt Matthew McConaughey to record it.

It was all in his plan. First, he'd make fat stacks out of being a sellout in Hollywood to making fat stacks out of being a sellout in the porn industry. Life certainly could not be better for him. Or could it?

~~~~~~~~

Velvet sat with a grim stare and a ruffled mane, her eyes fixated on the stack of paperwork. Her time as an author was renowned across Equestria, but her transition into the film industry was proving to be rocky and controversial. The polarized opinion of her choice to turn her book, A Mare's Tale into a film was meet by her fans who felt a film would ruin the book, and those who felt a transition into film was long overdue for her.

With a sigh, she looked through the papers, none of the directors stood out. Their film expertise was in different genres then her romantic coming of age drama. She felt she was quickly running out of options, Earth authors certainly didn't have this much stress when making their books into movies.

Earth...

The land of the humans. It had been a long time since the U.S.S Plot Device made contact with Equestria. She had heard that it was renowned for it's artists, film artists to be more specific. A grin stretched from ear to ear across Velvet's face. She would bring humans into the fray, that certainly would make her film both a financial and critical success!

~~~~~~~~

Michael Bay stepped into the tiled floor of his bathroom, with a flick of his wrist, he turned the shower on and watched as the cookie dough was washed off. His porn video,  Horny Michael Bay Rolls In Cookie Dough already had a million views. "Yo dawg wut du fuq b dis shid?" Said a strange black voice behind Bay, with a turn of his head, he was greeted by a naked Snoop Dogg in his shower.

"Ah, sorry!