The infamous Diamond Tiara woke up from her bed. It was, luckily, another day in a beautiful summer; no school to worry about and plenty of time for her and her best friend, Silver Spoon, to mock the blank flanks called "The Cutie Mark Crusaders". Her father was going to be gone for the week, most likely another business trip to Manehatten. Some arrangements were made between Diamond's family & Silver's family, for Diamond Tiara would be with her best friend until her father returned from his trip.

"Now diamond," her father, Mr. Filthy Rich, said as he entered his wagon, pulled by two other stallions. "be sure that you're safe while I'm gone. I don't want to fire another one of our butlers or maids after how you threw away the television and got dirty that day."

"Please Dad," Diamond Tiara said, trying to forget that awful day "it was those blank flanks, not me!"

"You shouldn't have responded with throwing away our new T.V. Please, stay safe, don't throw away things that aren't yours... and Diamond?"

"Yes Daddy?"

"...Have fun while I'm gone."

"I will"

"You know your way to Silver Spoon's house?"

"Ugh! Of course, dad! It'll only take me two minutes to get there."

"Alright, just want to be sure. Time is money, as they say: remember that."

"Bye Daddy!"

"Goodbye my offspring!!!" Filthy Rich's wagon went off in a whir! Diamond Tiara began to walk towards Silver Spoon's house but stopped in place. She heard... chuckling?

"Way Wook!" A voice said "It's Wiamond Wiara!!!"

"What!?" Diamond Tiara asked, looking around for the source of the voices

"Wiamond's going to Wilver's Wouse." Another said. Diamond became angered, trying her hardest to ignore the voices.

"What will wey wo?" another voice asked "Wake wun of wank wanks?" All three voices laughed at their joke. Diamond Tiara looked up and saw a clubhouse in her palm tree. She saw, through a window of the clubhouse, was the trio themselves: the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"You Three!!!" Diamond yelled "What's that suppose to be? Some stupid code you made up?"

"We can't tell you!" Sweetie Belle replied above.

"You're not part of our secret club." Scootaloo added

"Oh yeah!" Diamond replied "What does it take to become a member? Besides being both blank flanks and morons!!!" Ha Ha!!! Morons! Classic you, Diamond Tiara

"Sorry Diamond," Applebloom yelled from above "but you couldn't get in, even if you tried!!!" Diamond Tiara went blank faced for a minute. She looked back up.

"Well I'll have you know: I am a member of at least a certified member at 13 exclusive clubs all around Ponyville!!!"

"Uh... what did she say?"

"I don't know," Sweetie replied "Perhaps something about her crown?"

"Ooh!" Scootaloo jumped "I got this! Diamond: You and your crown will not fit in!!!"

"What do you three know about fitting in!?!?!?" Diamond Tiara yelled as she began to climb the tree "You... should... be begging... me... to... join... your stupid... club!!!" As Diamond climbed the tree, all of the CMC began yelling for her to stop and that she can't fit in!!! Ignoring them, Diamond climbed through the small hole they made as a window and landed inside. She looked around their area: it was super cramped as all four barely had leg space and nothing looked pizazz as their original clubhouse.

"Well this is stupid." Diamond commented in her situation "THERE'S NO ROOM UP HERE!!!"

"That's what we've been trying to tell you!" Scootaloo yelled

"We've been up here for three days." Sweetie added

"We told you that you wouldn't fit in." Applebloom added. Diamond grumbled under her breath.

"Since you're here," Sweetie said "we'll give you our initiation. Ready girls?"

"Welcome to our club!" The three yelled together "Welcome to out Club! Welcome Diamond, Welcome Diamond, Welcome Diamond, Welcome Diamond, Welcome-"

"SHUT UP!!!" Diamond yelled. She stuck her head out of the window, taking in the fresh air. Her back side got caught in the 'window'. She grabbed a lone wire hanging on the side of the tree with her available hooves and began to climb down, surprisingly, with the top of the tree and with clubhouse itself!!! "I do not want... Nor will I ever... be a member... of your stupid... club!!!" She touched the ground level but a loud 'Snap!' was heard. In a fraction of a second, she saw that the wire she was using to climb herself down the tree with had snapped. The tree flung itself back in it's uproot position, sending all the foals with the clubhouse, flying through the sky!!! Diamond screamed loudly!!!

A lone couple, with their unicorn daughter & pegasus son twins, looked up in the sky, seeing the clubhouse fly in the sky with only the sounds of a loud 'Whoosh!' and a filly's screaming. It seemed to be heading into the Everfree forest

"Ooh!" The wife said, looking at it with interest.

"Make a wish, honey." The Husband simply said

The clubhouse crashed into a large, open circle in an otherwise, dangerous Everfree Forest. The CMC got up excitedly.

"WHOO!!!" The blank flanks yelled "AGAIN!!! AGAIN!!!" They all gathered in a circle, sticking out their tongues & flicking it around their lips while making an annoying screech.

"Oh no!!!" Diamond yelled "Please tell me that that DID NOT JUST HAPPEN!!!"

"What happened?" Scootaloo asked.

"Where are we?!?!?!? We're lost!!! There's no way out!!! I'm out here, in the middle of the forest, with those three annoying idiots over there!!! OH!!! Why must every minute of my life be filled with riches but misery!!!"

"Oh Cheer up Diamond." Applebloom said, with the rest of the CMC following her.

"It could be much worse." Sweetie added.

"Yeah," Scoots added "You could be pink and have an ugly crown" At Scootaloo's added comment, Diamond's face flattened with grief.

"Well," Diamond simply said "this is the end." She fell face first to the dirt below.

"No it's not." Scootaloo said.

"It's not?" Applebloom asked, stopping herself from making 4 coffins, three of which look like they belong to royalty, with the Cutie Mark Crusader's name on them, while the last one looked awful and had on it, in horrible hand writing, 'Diemund Teearuh'.

"Come on gals," Sweetie said "We're gonna be fine. As long as we stick together, we're sisters!!!" The Trio did the same weird tongue & annoying screech noise they made earlier. "Besides, we have this!" Sweetie pulled out Twilight's old Smarty Pants doll with a string from another toy on it's back.

"What's that?" Diamond asked in an annoyed tone.

"Oh!" Applebloom said in a voice of awe. "The Smarty Pants!!! Ask it Something! Ask it something!!!"

"I got one!!!" Scootaloo said, taking the doll away from Sweetie Belle. "Smarty Pants: Will I ever be awesome as Rainbow Dash?" Scootaloo pulled the string and leaned in, listening to the toy.

"Maybe some day." The toy 'responded' in a bit of a high pitch woman voice. The three began to giggle, but Scootaloo jumped up & down with joy.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!" Diamond Tiara yelled "That is just a stupid toy!!! How can that possibly help us!?!?!?" The CMC gasped, all holding Smarty Pants

"Diamond!" Applebloom yelled "Never question the wisdom of Smarty Pants!!! You just ask it a question and it knows everything!!!"

"The Doll knows all!!!" Sweetie Belle chanted.

"Oh Smarty Pants: What do we need to do to get out of the Everfree Forest?" She pulled the string and leaned in.

"Nothing." Was the response.

"THE DOLL HAS SPOKEN!!!" Scootaloo yelled

"NOTHING!?!?!?" Diamond asked " We just can't sit here and do NOTHING!!!" She saw the trio all sitting down, staring into deep space, doing nothing at all with the exception of some blinking and breathing. Diamond grunted to herself and walked to them. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU THREE ARE GOING TO TAKE ADVICE FROM A TOY!!! You know what, I don't need your help!!! I am going to find my way back and spend my week with Silver Spoon while you three rot here!!! And Don't you dare catch me catching you sad clowns following me!!!" HA!!! Sad Clowns! I'm just on a roll here, even if things don't go my way, I can at least remember these jokes.

Diamond Tiara ran in fear in the forest!!! She could only hear the loud noises of the various creatures living in the Everfree Forrest growing, probably hunting her for all she knew!!! She had no idea where she was going, as the forest blocked all light around her, making her run into the various trees around her!!! She tripped on a vine and fell to the floor

"OH!!!" She began to whimper "I'm hopelessly lost!!! I just wanna go home!!! All is lost!!!" A beam of light hit her in the eye: she got up and could see daylight!!! Without any hesitation, she ran towards the light and jumped into the ground. "I'M FREE!!! TAKE THAT CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" She turned her head to the right and saw the trio there, still sitting down and doing nothing. Her face immediately went from happiness to sadness. "Oh... there's no place out of here."

Diamond Tiara set herself up a small camp, using the wood from the clubhouse to make a small tent and a campfire. Surprisingly, there was a frying pan in the wreckage, so she decided to use it over her new campfire.

"How's it going in camp 'Hay for Brains' over there?" Dimaond Tiara mocked "Mm-mm-mm. I wonder what's on the menu on 'Camp Tiara' tonight?" A lone parasprite flew by her. She wacked it and placed it in the sizzling frying pan. She ran to the three and held it to the trio's face. "Does it smell good, Scoots? You, Sweetie Belle? You haven't eaten in days? Applebloom? A big girl's gotta have to eat. Well you can't have any! And you know why? It's because you have logs for brains, and you all take advice from a toy!!! I, however, will have a nice, tasty, meal. I suppose all your problems will, I don't know, FALL OUT OF THE SKY!!! HAHAHA!!! FALL OUT OF THE SKY!!!"

Right above them, Two pegasi flying above had their tails on fire and were crashing into the field of Ponyville. They had a cart behind them with the words painted on it "Mr. Aquino's totally not Wal-Mart groceries supplies".

"Dude!!!" One of the Pegasi yelled "We're Falling out of the sky!!! WE'VE GOT TO DROP THE LOAD!!!" The other Pegasus clicked a button in front of it labeled 'Drop Load'. The back of the carriage opened and a bunch of grocery items with furniture came down.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat down silently. A table with a highly decorative fruit salad, sodas, snacks,and coolers missed them by a couple of inches. A stool came down with fancy looking entrees landed next to the table. Three tents landed in a row, and finally, a whole lit up campfire as well. The three looked around them, smiled, and got up!

"PRAISE SMARTY PANTS!!!" They all yelled, following by their screech. Diamond Stared dumbfounded at what just happened. The parasprite she caught to eat got up from the sizzling pan, grabbed the handle, and hit the filly in the head with it before buzzing off with an annoyed look on it's face, not interested with the food that landed from the sky (Most likely due to Diamond's hunger 'solution'). The trio began to eat the food all messily with crazed laughter!!! Diamond got up and walked next to Scootaloo.

"Uh... girls?" Diamond asked with a crazed look on her face "That... sure is a lot of food you got there."

"It's a gift from Smarty Pants!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, sticking her hooves out into the air in a thankful way.

"It sure looks... delicious!!! Ooh!!! Rolled up hay bundles!!! My favorite!!!." She took a series of small whiffs at it and... followed it? Applebloom sucked in the hay bundle like a vacuum, and Diamond's muzzle landed inside the filly's mouth. Diamond grunted and pulled her nose out. "Hey, uh, girls? You know I was just kidding around earlier, right? I'm still part of the club, right? I mean, I was denying a lot of, um, stuff, and, um, I just wanted to, uh-"

"Diamond." Sweetie Belle cutted her off.

"Yes?"

"Once a member, always a member!"

"TO THE CLUB!!!" The trio yelled, clinking their own glass of chocolate milk together, followed by their screeching.

"Uh... yeah." Diamond responded, still staring at the food and doing a weak attempt at their screech. "If you excuse me!" She ran up to the food, drooling wildly "WHAT SHOULD I EAT FIRST!?!?!? The Flowers? The Spaghetti? The Soup? The-"

"Why not ask Smarty Pants?" Scootaloo suggested, holding out Smarty Pants to her

"Oh yeah, sure. right after I fill myself up with this smarty meal!!!" Before she could take a bite out of anything, the table moved, as the three rapidly moved the table away!!!

"Diamond!!!" Applebloom yelled again "Are you questioning the authority of Smarty Pants?" All three held up the doll as an idol

"She's the one that gave us this banquet!" Sweetie Belle added "This doll is the cornerstone of our organization!!!"

"Maybe she's not a believer." Scootaloo said to the two.

"Hey!!!" Diamond awkwardly chuckled "You guys got it all wrong! I... love to listen to the... doll." Diamond picked up the doll "Uh.. hello? Smarty Pants, I was wondering: Should I have the Spaghetti, or the Flowers?" She pulled the string.

"Neither." the doll responded.

"Huh? Alright, how about the soup?" Another pull of the string

"I don't think so."

"Oh... can I eat anything?" Another pull on the string

"No."

"NO!?!?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?!?!? I'M STARVING HERE!!!"

"Here," Applebloom said, taking Smarty Pants away from her "let me try." She walked up to a large cake that even Celestia would be excited about. "Smarty Pants: Can Diamond Tiara have the Marzipan Masacarone Marsipae Madness?" She pulled the string.

"No." Smarty Pants replied

"Hmm... Could ah have the Marzipan Masacarone Marsipae Madness all by myself then?" She pulled the string again.

"Yes."

"ALRIGHT!!!" She jumped into the cake and began to eat it!!! She belched and turned to Diamond Tiara. "Sorry Diamond."

"GIVE ME THAT!!!" Diamond Tiara yelled, pulling the doll away from the trio. "Can I have something to eat?!?!?!" She pulled the sting

"No." The doll responded

Can I have something to eat!?!?!?!?" Another pull

"No."

"Can I have something to eat!?!?!?" Pull

"No.

"CAN YOU SAY ANYTHING BUT 'NO'!?!?!?" A pull

"Try asking again."

Can. I. Have. Something. To. Eat?" She pulled it for the final time, hoping it would say 'yes'.

"No." One of Diamond's eyes became blood shot red, as the other twitched uncontrollably!!! Her head revealed multiple veins and she began to sputter random things out, as her head began to swing rapidly!!!

"Diamond?" Sweeite Belle asked

"Are y'all alright?" Applebloom asked

"Maybe she's not happy." Scootaloo observed. Just before Diamond Tiara could yell-

"Hello?" A female voice asked "Hello? Is anypony there?" A machete came through some of the vines in the trees. A pegasus mare with black to gray mane & tail, in a design similar to Rainbow Dash's, with a dark yellow coat and in a safari looking suit with a matching hat came in. She stopped and cringed a bit, seeing 4 filthy fillies huddle in a circle "Do you folks need some help?"

"I'M SAVED!!!" Diamond Tiara yelled with glee! She ran towards the strange looking pegasus "PLEASE!!! You have no ideas how glad I am to see you!!! I've been stranded here for almost an entire day with these three morons and their stupid Smarty Pants doll!!!"

"Smarty... Pants doll? YOU MEAN LIKE THIS!?!?!?" Her eyes went derp as she too, pulled out a Smarty Pants doll out from one of her side pockets.

"A SMARTY PANTS DOLL!!!" The Cutie Mark Crusaders yelled "ANOTHER CLUB MEMBER!!!" The Mare began to do the screech, then the CMC joined. Diamond Tiara stared with her eyes wide open and mouth almost falling to the floor.

"My Smarty Pants doll told me to meet you little fillies."

"HOORAY!!!" All 4 yelled "PRAISE SMARTY PANTS!!!"

"Alright Smarty Pants: What do we do now?" She pulled the string to her Smarty Pants doll.

"Nothing." The Smarty Pants doll replied.

"ALL HAIL SMARTY PANTS!!!" The 4 yelled together. They immediately sat down, stared into space, and did nothing. Diamond Walked to them, sat down, and joined them.

"ALL HAIL SMARTY PANTS!!!" Diamond Tiara yelled, obviously in total defeat.