Chapter 18 Collision Course

I rushed into my office, prepared for a fight. But nothing could prepare me for the sight that met my eyes. Two ponies were on the sofa in my outer office. Both had been shot repeatedly. They were being tended to by a grizzled older pony, who seemed somehow familiar to me. Ori and Moonlight were caught in mid argument, both startled to silence by my arrival. I nearly tripped over the body of a unicorn stallion on the floor, unfamiliar, and clearly dead. I could just make out the body of yet another pony I lying in the doorway to my inner office. If he wasn't dead yet, he soon would be judging by the blood pooling out from under him. I looked around the wreckage of my office. Furniture strewn about, blood splatter and bullet holes everywhere.

“By all the Gods and Goddesses! What in Tartarus is going on here?!?” I yell, causing the ponies on the sofa to gaze blankly in my direction, and the older pony to rise to his hooves, pulling out a vintage M.I.S.P.P.L. in one fluid motion, leveling it at me. “Oldster,” I snarled, “you have three seconds to put that thing away before I make you eat it. Now who are you three, who are the stiffs, and why the hells are you all bleeding all over my office?”

“Wait, YOUR office? You are Johnny Appleseed? But you're supposed to be dead!” The old pony replies, lowering his weapon only a fraction.

“Never mind that now,” Ori interrupts. “we need to get those two to a hospital as quickly as possible. Otherwise they are going to die.”

“I already told you NO!” Moonlight fires back. “It's not safe there. They are most likely still targets.”

“And I already told YOU, that its better that they are LIVING targets, than safe corpses!” Ori yells back into Moonlight's face.

I look back and forth between all the ponies in the room. Out of all of them, the oldster looks like the most level headed at the moment, so I turn and address him. “Okay. I obviously don't know the situation here, but I think I grasp a few of the most important bits. First off, we all seem to be on the same side. I draw this conclusion because my friends haven't shot you, nor you them. Secondly, the two on the couch must also be good guys, since you were caring for them when I came in. Judging by what I can see they were gut shot, which is bad, but it looks like you got them held together for the moment. Good work.”

“Thanks,” he says in reply. “Sargent Sable Shade, Night Watch, 113th street station. These two are my colleagues, Detectives Shooting Star, and Glitter Mane. Your assessment of the situation is correct in all regards, and you have no idea how glad I am that you are still alive and kicking. We need to have words about this. Soon.”

“Understood. But right now it seems our top priority is keeping your friends alive. Ori and Shadow seem to be at loggerheads about sending them to a hospital. Something about them being targets?” I say.

“Yeah, that unicorn you nearly tripped over was the shooter. A real professional. I took a nick in the shoulder myself. We think he was sent to take out Glitter and Star because they were snooping around after a missing detective, one Ebon Shard. We are almost positive that Shard was the mole in the Night Watch. Moonlight is convinced that they will send someone else after them to finish the job. That's why she won't let us take them to a public hospital.”

“But if we don't those two with DIE!” Ori interjects, earning another glare from Moonlight.

“Okay, okay, everypony just calm down. I think I can offer up a third option. Everypony just take a breath, and give me a few minutes. I know a couple of ponies that can help. Sargent Shade? Keep an eye on these two for just a little longer. I'll be back as quick as I can.”

The Sargent hesitates before responding. “Youngster, I don't know you at all, but my gut is telling me that you're dealing straight with me. I'm gonna trust it here. But get back as quick as you can. I don't know how long these two can make it.”

I nod in reply and teleport myself away, leaving Ori and Moonlight glaring at each other.

The place that I am going is halfway across town, in a neighborhood that could safely be called 'bad'. It takes me four teleports to get there. I could have made it in three, but I was going to need all of my strength to manage to get back with the ponies I had in mind.

I make my way into a seedy two story apartment building. There is no lock on the front door. Hasn't been for years. I pass a pony and a griffin passed out on the floor of the hallway. This is what passes for a waiting room here. The door at the end of the hallway has a cardboard sign taped to the front of it. 'Doc Suture. Pediatrics, Surgery, and Veterinary Medicine. Knock before entering.' I knock briefly, then barge right in. As soon as I do I end up looking down the barrel of a crudely made pipe gun. It's long and ugly, but I know from experience that it is also deadly.

“Nurse Cane, a pleasure as always.” I say, not daring to move anything but my mouth.

“Johnny One note?” She says, lowering her weapon, “but you dead. I see'd it in da papers. You done pushin up de daisies. They done had a fun'ral for you an everything.”

“I got better. Look Nova, I need to see the Doc right now. I got two ponies gut shot, and they don't have long. I'm going to need you both to come back to my office and patch them up.” I say explaining my situation as quickly as I can.

“Dang Johnny. It must be pretty bad fo you ta come down here for us 'steada goin uptown with it. Doc's just finishin up with his current patient. He should be done inna minute.”

Suddenly a loud scream cuts through the air from the back room.

“Oh don't be such a baby,” the voice of Doc Suture can be heard in reply. “Ribs grow back.”

“No they don't.” I say to Nurse Nova Cane deadpan.

“Sheesh, even I know dat. But see de guy de Doc is workin on is a real bad piece o' work. Word is he's been sendin orphan ponies down de line to da 'Butcher'. He come to de Doc bout a pain in his gut. He gonna leave wit worse dan dat. Doc puttin on o' dem trackin crystals de Watch uses in him. We ain't got no use for da 'Butcher' round dese parts.” Nurse Cane says darkly.

I nod my head in grim agreement. As far as I'm concerned nothing the Doc could do to one of the 'Butchers' hired goons is bad enough. But if the Doc can get a lead on where the bastard is at, I'd make sure that Luna sent every member of the Watch straight down his throat, with me leading the way. A few minutes later Doc calls Nurse Cane inside to help him sew the guy up. I can her her telling Doc that I'm out here, and why. A few moments later the Doc emerges himself, stripping off a pair of bloody surgeons gloves.

“Johnny Appleseed! As I live and breathe! Good to see you again my boy.” He says, grabbing my hoof and shaking it, his smile wide.

“Good to see you too Doc. Wish the circumstances could be better. Nova get you up to speed?” I ask.

“Yes, yes. She's packing my travel bag now. I just gave my current patient enough morphine to keep him in happy la-la land for the next six hours. That should be plenty of time to take care of your friends, one way, or the other.”

“Grim Doc, really grim,” I reply.

“Sorry Johnny, just being honest. Didn't mean anything by it.” He says contritely.

And that's true. He really didn't mean anything by it. He just sees so many that don't make it, that it's made him kind of numb. To be honest, it really isn't fair. He does the best he can to run a sort of 'free clinic' down here for ponies that can't afford the big fancy hospitals. People just donate what they can to pay him back. But that means that he can't always afford the things he needs to do his job. And THAT means that sometimes ponies die. Personally I don't see how he hasn't cracked by now. But every day he just keeps going on. He still saves more than he loses, but anyone that knows him knows that he takes each loss personally. Sooner or later, even he will crack. And when he does, the slums will lose one of their best ponies.

But that day isn't today. Today he still has ponies to save.

“All right Johnny. Nova and I are ready to go. I'm guessing you are going to have to teleport us there.” The Doc says unhappily, clutching his bag to his chest, as a pigeon lands on his shoulder. “I suppose it would be alright if Archimedes comes along? He won't take up much room.”

“That's fine Doc.” I say with a grin. I knew the Doc wouldn't go anywhere without his feathered assistant and confidant. I also knew teleporting made him queasy.

“Flyin' rat.” I hear Nurse Cane mutter, putting a hoof on my shoulder.

“Shush, just ignore her Archimedes.” The Doc says, putting a hoof on my other shoulder.

I take a deep breath and let it back out. It took me four teleports to get myself here. I plan to take the three of us, four counting Archimedes, back in three…

I manage to make it back with all of us intact, although the Doc is looking decidedly green. He has never been a fan of teleportation, despite being a unicorn, and having no problem with other types of magic. Nova and Archimedes look no worse for wear, and despite his discomfort, the Doc moves immediately to the two ponies on the sofa. Nova turns and takes in the scene.

“Dang Johnny, you throw de wildest parties. Glad we didn't git no invites.” She says with a low whistle.

“Yeah, well I wasn't invited to this one myself. Would any pony care to explain what in Tartarus was going on before I arrived?” I ask the room in general.

Moonlight steps forward. “Well I guess I should start,” she says explaining who the two ponies bleeding on my sofa are, and about Sargent Sable Shade.

I KNEW I remembered him from somewhere. But that was before my photographic memory runes were implanted. I didn't even know he was still alive. But then again, to be fair, he thought the same of me until minutes ago. Moonlight didn't trust her three detectives with that bit of info, that told me that right now, she wasn't completely trusting any pony in the Watch.

I turned to speak to Sargent Shade. “So Moonlight sent you back over the crime scenes, following the same clues I did. Were you able to turn up anything new?”

“No I didn't.” He says in disappointment. “The trail was too cold. And I'd be willing to bet any evidence that could have been found was cleaned up by Ebon Shard. My last lead was your office. I had read that you had died in that incident at the brothel. I assumed that your office had been closed afterwords, but I had to consider that you might have found some evidence, or lead, that you hadn't shared with anypony else. I got here a few hours ago, all the lights were out. I went to jimmy the lock on your door, but found that somepony had beat me to it. I crouched low and pulled out my gun, and made my way inside. The door of your inner office was open and I could hear somepony making a lot of noise. It seemed like he was searching for something, and he was definitely in a hurry. I was making my way toward the doorway, when he suddenly turned around and started toward the outer office. He saw me and went for his piece, but I was faster. I put one in his shoulder. A 'warning shot' so to speak, but it didn't even slow him down. He raised his gun and got off a shot, barely missing my head. I had no choice at that point but to put him down. It took three more shots to do so though. That was one tough pony.”

I went over and had a look at the pony he shot. I shook my head and let out a low laugh. I knew this pony. “Looks like you finally went bust Mr. Blackjack,” I say, not at all moved by his demise.

“You knew this pony?” The Sargent asks.

“Yeah, a bit of unfinished business I had intended to wrap up after this case was over. He was muscle for a small group of ponies who were bribing me to find Babs and an artifact they thought she had. Strictly small time, not the ponynappers. I assume that Mr. Gutson read about my demise, and sent his boy here to see if I had found out anything, just like you were doing. But that doesn't explain our other dead body, or why your colleagues were here.”

“Ah, well, that was my fault I'm afraid.” The Sargent admits, holding up a very old spell bracelet. Those used to be given out to earth ponies and pegasi in the guards to communicate with each other over long distances. By modern terms they were poorly made, and had to be recharged by a unicorn once a day. No pony used them anymore. “I called them after the shooting. I assumed he had something to do with what we were working on, and I wanted to compare notes with what they had found out so far, so I called them and told them to come here while I searched the place. They showed up in less than an hour. Unfortunately they were not alone,” Shade said, gesturing to the unicorn in the trench coat on the floor. “He was tailing them, and I can only guess that when he saw us all grouped together in the same room, that he decided to take us all out at once. I happened to be facing the doorway when he came in. I shouted a warning, but he had already teleported. He took down Shooting Star in less than a second, then teleported out, but he was back a second later firing from a different angle. I had already dropped to the floor and was moving behind the sofa when he fired, so I only took one in the shoulder. Glitter Mane managed to get off a couple of shots, but wasn't able to score a hit. She joined me behind the couch and we hatched a plan. As soon as the shooter teleported in, Glitter Mane threw up a barrier to keep him from teleporting out again. We figured that from our position behind the couch he could only come at us from one direction, and I would take him down when he did. But this guy was a pro. As soon as he ported in, Mane threw up her barrier, but he wasn't anywhere in firing range. He had taken up position inside the inner office. He then began dragging our sofa out of the way with his magic. Glitter Mane was unable to do anything but maintain the barrier, and I couldn't manage a clean shot, and our cover was being yanked away an inch at a time. That's when Mane made a risky decision. 'Get ready to fire' she told me, then dropped the barrier, and before the assassin could teleport, Glitter Mane stood up, and catching sight of him, teleported him into the center of the room. He was momentarily caught off guard, and I fired as fast as I could, but he still managed to put two in Glitter's gut before he went down. I don't know who he was, but he was one of the most dangerous ponies I ever faced.”

I knelt down beside the assassin. No pony I had ever seen before. Then I noticed something. Two odd bulges in the back of his trench coat. This triggered a memory from a long time ago. I looked at the pony again. No. No way. It couldn't be. It was impossible. A yell from Moonlight shook me from my thoughts.

“What in the name of Luna are you doing?!?” She yells, drawing my attention.

I look up at what has shocked her so. Oh. That. Yeah, I guess the first time you see it, it does look kind of hellish.

“Calm down Moonlight. It's going to be fine. The Doctor knows what he's doing.” I say placatingly.

“Calm down? Knows what he's doing? What is that hellish contraption?” She says, still yelling.

The contraption in question is something the Doc came up with himself. It's a small steam powered generator, which focuses electricity through magical healing crystals. The healing energy then passes up a series of wires into a small cage that fits atop Doctor Suture's horn. He then amplifies this with his own magic, and sends a healing stream of energy down into his patient. The reason it seems so hellish is the Doc's own flare for theatrics. He uses red crystals, thus making the energy it emits crimson, and he tends to cackle a bit when it does it's job. This has earned him a certain reputation in the hood. Needless to say, the residents don't bother the Doc with something as simple as a head cold.

I could see that the Doc had already removed the bullets, and the stream of energy from his horn had stopped the flow of blood. The wounds were already closing, and Nurse Cane had begun to clean up all the mess. After a few moments more, the Doc turns off his machine, and addresses us.

“The operations were a success. I've removed the bullets, and repaired the damaged organs. This is the good news. The bad news is that they have both lost a lot of blood, and regenerative magic has depleted much of their nutrients. They are going to be bedridden at least a week while their bodies work to restore themselves. But still, better a week in bed, than an eternity in the dirt.”

“Thank you both so much!” Ori says, rushing over and giving the Doc a hug, causing him to blush as crimson as his healing magic.

“Ahem, well, yes.” He says, trying to regain his composure. “Just doing my job Ori, as you well know. And now, if you will all excuse me, I have a very special patient waiting for me back at my office. Johnny, I trust some sort of remuneration will find its way to me before long?”

“Count on it Doc. And you wont be disappointed. Are you sure I can't teleport you three back? It would only take a few minutes.” I offer.

The Doc blanches for the first time this evening. “No, no… that's quite all right. I think the fresh night air will do us all some good at this point. Besides, Archimedes needs a chance to flex his wings. Isn't that right Archimedes?” The pigeon in question obligingly coos, as the three make their way out into the hallway and down the stairs.

“That was… interesting.” Moonlight says watching them depart. “I can honestly say I've never seen healing quite like that before. I obviously need to get out into the city more often.”

“Frankly, you'd be surprised what all you'd find.” I say. “Speaking of which, I've heard from the Sargent why these three were here, but what exactly are you doing here Moonlight?”

“Well, to be honest, I had just finished up an assignment from Luna. We had tracked down some information on how Ebon Shard had gotten assigned to the Babs case. Apparently forged documents had been responsible for keeping him where he was for quite some time. I confirmed that the only place that the documents had to have come from was Night Industries. I had met up with Ori for breakfast, and was accompanying her to the office to leave you a copy of my report for when you returned.” She admits. “When I got here the Sargent had just started first aid on Glitter Mane and Shooting Star. I did what I could to help, and then Ori and I got into an argument about their safety. That's about when you showed up.”

“Night Industries eh? Interesting. I traced the explosives used in both the attack on Luna, and the restaurant back to a shipment that was sent to Night Industries as well. It seems everything is pointing back to them. Looks like we are going to have to pay them another visit. A much more covert visit.” I say grimly.

“Agreed. I'm not sure how many ponies are involved, or how far the corruption has spread, but obviously, the answers we seek must be found there.” Moonlight pauses in thought. “However I still don't feel that Star and Mane are completely safe from danger. Whomever hired this assassin may have hired others. We need to find someplace safe they can stay until they recover.”

“Well,” Ori says hesitantly, “I suppose they can stay at my place. A week isn't that long, and I do have a spare bedroom.”

“Hmm, its true that with everyone thinking Johnny is dead, that no one would think to look to his secretary to be harboring two detectives he doesn't even know. But I would still feel better if he had a guard.” Moonlight says.

“I'll take care of that,” Sargent Shade pipes in. “I'm not going to be any use at infiltration at my age. And besides these are Watch ponies. We are all family in the Watch. Trust me ma'am. I'll make sure they are safe until this is all over with.”

Moonlight smiles. “Very good Sargent. It is good to see that for every disgrace like Ebon Shard, there are still Shining examples like yourself that does the Watch proud. Ori, do you think you can accommodate the Sargent as well?”

“Sure. As long as he doesn't mind using a pull out sofa. But I will need to make a trip to the grocery store to stock up on food. I didn't expect guests, and my stores are running low.” She admits.

I was about to tell her to take some bits out of petty cash, but the Sargent beats me to it.

“Don't trouble yourself my dear.” He says gallantly. “I'll take care of that for you. Among my many, many, talents, you'll find that I am an excellent cook. Tell me, what is your favorite style of food? Nipponyese? Prench? Haytalian?”

“Well, I always was partial to Haytalian. Just about any kind of Haytalian.” She admits.

“Say no more. After we get my friends settled, I'll make a trip to 'Little Haytaly'. You just can't get fresh ingredients anywhere else.”

By the sky stallion. A week of Haytalian and my secretary will be the size of a house. I think to myself.

“Ori, I'll teleport us to your living room, if it's all right.” Moonlight says. “I don't want any pony in the street seeing these three.”

“You need my help?” I ask.

“No, I got this. It's kind of a 'Watch thing', if you take my meaning.”

“I understand,” I say. “I'll be here cleaning up until you get back.”

Moonlight and Shade get Man and Star upright, and Moonlight teleports them all away, leaving me here with the blood and bodies. Believe it or not, there is a service in this city that will take care of the mess, and even make minor repairs, but the bodies are my own problem.

I drag Blackjack out of the doorway to my inner office, then I have a look inside. He's made a mess, but fortunately I don't see any real damage. The outer office on the other hoof is going to need some work. Luna may not be too happy about it, but I'm sending her the bill for this one. It was her boys that led the hit pony to my office. I think it's only fair that she can pay for the damages.

Speaking of the hit pony, there is something I want to check out while no one else is here. I go over and grab the bottom of his trench coat, and lift it up off of his back. I see just what I thought I would see. Something that can't possibly be there. I'm about to take a closer look, when I hear voices coming up the stairs.

“Are you SURE this is the right place Bonny? It looks like a dump.” the first voice says.

“Hey, this is the address in the folder. And the file was up to date. I'm sure it looks better on the inside.” A second voice replies. “Wait, hold on Lyra. This... this is blood. And the doors been forced open. Armor up. Right now!”

Before I can process what I'm hearing the door bursts open, and I see two very familiar Nanny-tech suits rush in. Well, one rushes in, the other is more of a hesitant trot.

“Lindana? Ed?” I say in surprise. “What are you two doing here?”

The pony wearing Lindana turns and looks at me. Then letting out an excited squeal she launches herself across the room, pinning me to the floor. “Johnnnnny!!!”

It was then that I here a small implosion of air, and Moonlight say, “I've got everypony settled in, but I thi- Wah? What is going on here?” before I find myself being passionately kissed… by Lindana… mandibles and all...

“EWWW!!!” I hear two ponies shriek in unison from far away. To be honest, after the first few seconds I kind of lost track of everything else. I mean look, I'm no prude. I've been involved with more sentient races than I care to admit to, but this is the first time that I had ever been kissed by a bug.

Thing is, she was REALLY good at it. No, I mean REALLY good at it. Her mouth has parts that a pony just doesn't. WOW! I could feel a completely involuntary physical reaction beginning to occur.

Stunned minutes later, she finally pulls back, and I can hear her say, “by Tartarus Lindana, you stole my kiss! Get off of my head right now!” Then another voice. “Hey, don't blame ME! The moment you saw him you completely flooded the bio-link with the idea of kissing him. I just did what you told me to do! Wow! This pony is like, A-mazing!” Then the first voice, “ARGHH! Just get off of my face right now!”

Suddenly the armored head retracts, showing me a pony I hadn't seen in many, many, years.

“Sweetie? Is that YOU?” I manage to ask, before once more my mind goes far away, as I receive yet another seriously, passionate kiss.

'Y'know', I think to myself, 'today started off pretty badly, but things are definitely looking up'.

That is until the voice of Moonlight cuts through my fluffy pink clouds of thought, with a voice like frozen steel. “SWEETIE?!? And just who IS this SWEETIE of yours Johnny Appleseed?!?”

Author's Notes:

Inspiration for Doc Suture and Archimedes was drawn from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36lSzUMBJnc