Rarity was actually, honestly, bouncing around her workroom, humming with the kind of good cheer normally reserved for high praise from Hoity Toity, or the successful destruction of an unworthy Haute Couture rival. She even had to pause, periodically, to let out a fit of joyful giggles; if any of her friends had seen her like this, they would have been frozen in slowly mounting terror.

To go with all that cheerful bustling, her mouth was bent into an almost painful-looking grin, and above all... above all, her eyes sparkled like the diamonds on her flanks, beaming with a very special joy. It was not the joy of a successful fashionista with a freshly-burnished ego, but of someone whose long, hard work had paid off beyond her wildest dreams; someone who had spent her time in the trenches of did-you-see-Moondancer-and-Lily-last-night?, who had paid her dues to the so-how-are-you-and-Big-Macintosh-getting-along? union, and who had been rewarded for her diligence with the most amazing, most exquisite, most one-of-my-best-friends-has-been-involved-in-a-royal-ménage-à-trois-sized pieces of gossip ever to grace the entire nation of Equestria.

It was wonderful. It had fallen right into her lap. Nopony else knew a thing. Well—that wasn't strictly true; Spike had told her everything she knew, but the poor, sweet dear didn't seem to know what any of it meant. As he'd related it, the princesses had showed up, there'd been some kind of commotion downstairs while he tried to sleep upstairs, and then the three had all come up, Celestia had shooed him out, and there had been quite a lot more commotion while he tried to sleep downstairs. He'd dropped right back off after relating the tale, but some of the... impressions he'd done while telling the story had been... truly enlightening. Yes. Rarity was only glad she had been rummaging in a chest at the time (hunting gems to treat her widdle Spikey with); she'd blushed more than enough to be noticed by even a very tired baby dragon, and that was an explanation she did not want to make. He'd been so adorable—hugging her leg, leaning on her shoulder, trailing faithfully along behind her so close to have been practically in her tail—that she simply couldn't bear the thought of having to... explain things.

Nevertheless! What she knew was enough. More than enough to make a lever to pry a certain purple unicorn all the way open to reveal all the wonderful, juicy details. She couldn't wait until Twilight got back to Ponyville.

***

Twilight couldn't wait to get back to Ponyville. Not that she'd wanted, exactly, to leave the pr—er, Celestia and Luna, she corrected herself—behind, but staying in Canterlot would have been unwise.

First, she had responsibilities to the Library. She needed to open and pony the checkout desk against the day—coming very soon, she was sure—when someone in Ponyville would need a copy of Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Wood (But Were Afraid to Ask), or The Joy of Astronomy, or The Perfumed Garden of Linear Algebra, or possibly even the ancient UdyAna Sutra—though privately, Twilight worried that everyone already had copies of these superlatively useful volumes. Despite that possibility, Twilight took her duties as a librarian seriously. Anyway, if the library stayed closed, someone might notice, and ask where she'd been.

She also needed to check on Spike, of course. If he stayed at somepony else's place for too long, they might notice, and ask where she'd been. And one of her friends might need something; if she wasn't there, they'd notice, and ask where she'd been. And no doubt Pinkie Pie would throw some kind of party tonight, and if Twilight wasn't there, her friends would notice, and ask where she'd been. And what if an Ursa attacked town again! If she wasn't there to fend it off, everypony would notice, and they'd all ask where she'd been!

Finally, and above all, she needed to return to Ponyville to make absolutely and totally certain that nopony asked her where she'd been.

Fortunately, she had a plan.

***

Twilight was getting a little frustrated. Her first plan had been foiled when the guards had politely declined to let her back in to the Starswirl the Bearded Wing without Celestia's express permission. She'd chuckled good-naturedly and told them she only wanted another look at Starswirl's time-stopping spell, but for some reason that only caused them to come to full attention and then to physically bar the door with their wings. This also put paid to Plan B (mass hypnosis) and Plan C (large-scale illusory fire to cover her entrance).

Plan D had been discarded quickly—the only coat dye available in the palace of sufficient quantity was guardspony white.

Plan E died for a lack of volunteers—after asking to borrow the wings of the first couple of pegasus guards—perfectly safe magic, absolutely, positively, only a tiny possibility that the wings wouldn't return to their rightful owner when she was done with them!—there had apparently been some kind of shift change and all the guards were unicorns and earth ponies for some reason.

And so she sat and huffed quietly, trying to come up with a Plan F. Maybe if she just walked calmly and quietly into town and pretended nothing had happened...?

She wrinkled her nose skeptically. Maybe Plan G would be better.

***

Twilight absently patted several stray hairs back into place in her mane as she peered over the lip of the chariot. Ponyville was far below, and the two guardsponies pulling the vehicle were pulling just fast enough to keep them all from stalling and falling out of the sky. The new plan—plan X, in fact—was simple, and Twilight was actually quite proud of its elegance, never mind how many tries it had taken her to think of it. The chariot she was in would never, in fact, land in Ponyville: she would simply teleport herself directly from it to her library. Much tidier, in fact, than its direct predecessor. Even given the, uh, new relationship dynamics, she didn't think Celestia would have been pleased with her if she'd used Miss Smarty Pants to distract the whole town again while she sneaked back in.

She frowned in concentration. Now, this would be rather tricky—she needed to properly bleed the differential momentum during transit or oh Sun, there was Rainbow Dash coming over to see why there was a royal chariot in Ponyville airspace. Twilight promptly flashed out of existence.

She reappeared precisely where she meant to, hooves planted firmly on the library floorboards. Immediately, she fell over sideways, skidding and rolling across the floor in the direction the chariot had been moving and making a less-than-graceful conversion of her kinetic energy to heat energy via the magic of friction. Her entropic journey came to an abrupt end against a bookcase, which welcomed her home by dumping its contents in a heap on her head.

Being covered in books was actually rather soothing, and Twilight resolved to stay there for a little while longer. Unfortunately, her meditation was almost immediately cut short by the sound of hurrying hooves and the quiet sparkle of a unicorn's magic. Twilight was disappointed on more than one front.

The books whisked themselves away from in front of Twilight's face, and the purple mare found herself nearly nose-to-nose with her marshmallow friend. She blinked. Rarity grinned broadly. Twilight shrank back, trying to let a few books fall between them; Rarity kept them propped out of the way.

...dontaskdontaskdontask...

“Twilight, darling, it's so good to see you! I just wanted to let you know that Spike is still sleeping at the Boutique.”

Rarity's smile was dazzling, with a terrifying predatory edge. Twilight's smile was transparently forced, with a definite air of cornered quarry. She opened her mouth to speak, but Rarity rolled right over her.

“So Twilight, dear Twilight... where have you been?”