Numb. Even with the new comfort of an actual friend, all Pinkie can feel is numb. Empty. Devoid of the cherished feeling of a friend. The absence of happiness.

Pinkie gripped tightly on the hems of the thin cotton blanket, absent mindedly she stared at the ground in the line of fire from the ominous falling rain. Distantly she could hear the screams of horror from her countless victims. She can vaguely make out the cries of mercy and their weeps for an end to their pain. Pinkie dared not close her eyes to try and find solace in the darkness. For the darkness she carries, it offers no solace. Only a promise of pain and lunacy.

The steady rhythm of the rain echoing in her hearing. Each drop reminding her the countless victims she had taken from this world. Was there any escape from this? Can she ever forgive herself for what she did? If Rarity knew, what would she think of her? Would she throw Pinkie away because of her lost innocence? All these questions were given empty answers, no solace to be known.

After her conversation with Rarity as they continued on to her living space, there was silence. Pinkie shakily raised her head to watch Rarity as she walked. The sway in her hips distracted Pinkie, briefly. There were hidden emotions in her steps. She walked as though she had somewhere to be, but her steps were calm and well placed. She walked with the careful agility of a cat. Pinkie could not shake the feeling that she had an ulterior motive. Pinkie felt a knot in her throat, she dared to think this girl would take advantage of her. She had offered a kindness that she did not deserve, but Pinkie had to be careful. The facade that was put up by the princesses was not perfect. Pinkie the perfect example of that. Raised from the beginning that no one was here to help you, you can only help yourself.

Pinkie thought of what to say but what came out was a timid voice, "Wh...where are we going?"

The girl turned to Pinkie and answered, "We're going to my apartment. Like I said, I can't let you freeze out here alone."

Pinkie went back to her silence, she went back to hearing the screams. Pinkie wanted to talk but she did not know what to talk about. All she could think about was the screams and the blood of the innocents she slaughtered. Rarity slowed her pace and walked next to the shivering girl. As they continued their walk she asked, "So...do you have any family here?"

Pinkie fell silent, letting the screams die down so she can think about her answer. She knew that she had to have some relatives in Ponyville, but she did not care much about that now. If she did she would have to be careful who she keeps close to her, then hunt them down and kill them. Pinkie avoided Rarity's gaze and answered with the innocence of a small child, "Ah...I...I don't know."

"Where did you come from?" Rarity tried to revive the conversation. Pinkie fell to silence once more as she remembered last night. Rarity leaned in and gently asked, "Darling, I can't help you if you don't talk to me."

Pinkie wanted to. She wanted with all of her heart to have another person confide her feelings. Someone to share the memories. Someone who could hold her and tell her that they forgive her for all the horrible things she did. But, she feared of how Rarity would react. Pinkie took in a careful breath and kept her eyes away from the kind hearted girl as she answered, "I...I came from my...my parent's."

Those words hurt as they came out. Insurmountable amount of anxiety and pain. Rarity asked once more in a softer tone, "Why did you leave?...why did you want to...um...take your own life?"

And there it was. The question that made Pinkie's heart race. She heard voices shout at her to run. Run and kill herself right now, it's what she deserves. It is justice, not suicide. Pinkie stopped and tears streamed down her face as she wanted to tell her everything but the war inside of herself was killing her. She closed her eyes and heard fresh in her mind, her father's voice and ominously he said,

Do it. Take your life. All you'll prove was how weak you are.

Pinkie tightly embraced herself as she stood in the rain, letting the drops fall into nothing. No sound only her own voice.

He's right. What do I have left? I killed the rest of my family, who do I have to run to? No one. Might as well do it.

She sat in pure darkness and looked up and saw her father standing before her. His tall and unsatisfied stance almost unmistakable. He stood with agitation across his scruffy face. Pale grey patches in a field of pure white, his face showing the strife and the hate he was raised in. He solemnly shook his head and he said, "You disappoint me Pinkamena. You used to be better than this, you used to be better than this."

Pinkie tore her gaze away in hate. She spat out with fury and tears streaming out of her eyes, "I never asked to be this. I never asked to kill people. You made me what I am. You turned me into a monster."

He remained unmoved from her anger and replied, "I made you into a weapon. I made you into something more than a mortal person. But now you're weak. Now you fill your heart with remorse and sorrow."

"Shut up..." Pinkie said with a slight shake of her head, her eyes now puffy stained from the tears. Her eyes stung as she growled, "...just shut up..."

"Still you defy me? Still you choose to live this, this facade of a life that is not even real? Even before you killed me you showed defiance. Just remember, we become the monsters we create. And this is a message. Listen to those voices. Kill yourself if you think you can't handle the emotions."

Pinkie wanted to throw everything at him. To kill him again. But he was right. He...

Pinkie jumped back to reality as she felt gentle and sincere hands on her cheeks. Pinkie focused and saw those bright sapphire eyes. They stared deep into Pinkie's and she said gingerly and with sincerity, "Pinkie. Darling, there is nothing on this world that will make me think anything less of you. Just know that. You can tell me when you have the chance, but just know that I will always be by your side. No matter what, I will never abandon you."

Her words washed over her and she felt her cheeks burn. She was so beautiful, and the kindness she was projecting...it spoke to Pinkie. This person was willing to help her. It was all in her eyes, they told it all. She spoke with the truest of hearts and the promise of a mother to a child. Pinkie finally slightly smiled and said timidly, "Thank you...Rarity."

Rarity gave a friendly smile and she hesitantly moved in and embraced Pinkie warmly. Pinkie slightly convulsed at the touch, but she knew that Rarity knew well. She was someone she could trust. Rarity pushed slowly away and said, "Alright. Let's get out of this dreadful rain."

Rarity slowly sauntered away and called back, "Come darling! You might catch a cold."

Pinkie looked at Rarity as she walked away and for the first time in forever, she did not hear the screams. Pinkie breathed out a controlled breath and said to herself, "Thank you...my angel."