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App. Jack

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Chapter 1: Freckles.exe


"Idahoof."

"Minnesotoats."

"Idahoof!"

"I'm telling you, Bon Bon, it's Minnesotoats!"

Bon Bon shook her head from where she sat across the table in the restaurant's outdoor patio. "You've got it all wrong, Lyra! Minnesotoats doesn't even remotely grow that many apples!"

"How do you know?"

"Pfft..." Bon Bon smirked. "I think I know a lot more about it than a string-plucking unicorn!"

Lyra paused in slurping from a straw of hay soda. "That's racist."

"Heehee! But I'm telling you, it's true! Earth Ponies know these things! It's in their blood!" Bon Bon tilted her nose up in the Ponyville air. "And this earth pony's blood is telling her that Idahoof grows the most apple crops every year in Equestria, not Minnesotoats."

"Yeah, well, this unicorn is fixing to punch a certain earth pony's blood out."

"You're just not going to let this rest, are you?"

"Meh."

"Well!" Bon Bon smirked brilliantly. "Luckily, I have just the thing to solve this inane debate!" She reached for a saddlebag.

Lyra blinked. "Oh Celestia above—don't tell me you've got one of those experimental thingies Twilight's been hoofing out to everypony in town..."

"You bet!" Bon Bon sat back up, slipping a round crystal diode onto her left hoof. "It's tapped into something the Princess calls the World Wide Whinnie! And it's gonna tell us which of the two provinces is the real answer!"

"Pfft. I don't care if it's sculpted by the Princess, Bon Bon. It can't talk to us."

"It can now! After I installed a helpful little interactive app!"

"App?"

"You know... an Application! Shhh... observe." Bon Bon raised the crystal watch closer to her muzzle. "Ahem. AJ, what is the capital of Equestria?"

Bzzt! With a flicker of orange light, a tiny translucent earth pony appeared, standing atop Bon Bon's fetlock with a happy, freckled grin. "Howdy!" a drawling voice crackled as the hologram tilted its broad-rimmed hat. "The capital of Equestria is Canterlot!"

"Heh... yeah, okay..." Lyra smirked, leaning back in her seat. "That's kind of snazzy, actually."

"Is it true?" Bon Bon asked.

"Is what true?"

"Is the capital of Equestria Canterlot?"

"Pffft." Lyra rolled her eyes. "Everypony knows that."

"Okay, fine. Ask her something that only you would know the answer to."

"Alrighty then." Lyra leaned over the table. "Hey, uh, what is—"

"Psst... you gotta say 'AJ' first."

"What for?"

"Cuz that's how it's programmed."

"Okay then." Lyra squinted at the holographic pony. "'AJ...'"

Bzzt! "Howdy!"

Lyra asked, "What is the definition of a descending tetrachord?"

The tiny Applejack flickered atop Bon Bon's hoof then replied, smiling: "Accordin' to music theory, a descendin' tetrachord is a series of four notes from a scale arranged in order from highest to lowest!"

"Well?" Bon Bon grinned.

"Heh..." Lyra leaned back with an approving nod. "Okay, so Princess Twilight did her research when she programmed this thing."

"Then I suppose it's time for the moment of truth!" With a smug grin, Bon Bon raised the diode to her muzzle. "AJ, what province of Equestria produces the most apple crops yearly?"

Bzzt! "That would be the Province of Washingtrot, which produces nearly seventy percent of Equestria's apple supply annually! That comes to an earnin' of over one and a half billion bits per year!"

"What?!" Bon Bon did a double-take. "No way... Washingtrot?"

"Heh..." Lyra smirked. "Guess we were both wrong."

"This thing is updated as of this year." Bon Bon smirked. "But I totally would have been right ten years ago."

"Wow, for a mare living in the past, you're certainly living in the future."

"Oh hush." Bon Bon turned towards the diode. "AJ, approximately how long is the stick shoved up my best friend's flank?"

Bzzt! "Awww, I'm sorry, sugarcube. 'Fraid I didn't hear you quite right."

"Well, at least it's cute about it," Lyra said. She stroked her mane back. "You supposed the real Applejack approved?"

"Huh?"

"You know. AJ. Did she approve of this thingy?"

"Awww, I'm sorry, sugarcube. 'Fraid I didn't hear you quite right."

Both mares giggled.


"Ugh..." Thunderlane slapped his own skull, grimacing. "It's on the tip of my tongue! I wish I could remember!"

"It's okay, Thunderlane," Blossomforth said from where the two sat on a picnic blanket in the middle of Ponyville park. "It's just something I was thinking about. It's not all that important."

"No, I need to know this crud! I mean, I played opposite the lead character in High School Drama!"

Blossomforth nearly choked on her next bite of a daffodil sandwich. She drank the morsel down with a cup of juice and wheezed. "You performed in a high school play of Much Ado about Neighing?"

"Darn straight! I made a very handsome Claudioats! Or... m-maybe I was Don Pedroats." He suddenly gulped, wincing. "Oh, Celestia, I hope I wasn't Don Jockey the Bastard Prince..."

"You were certainly grazing a lot through high school, weren't you?" Blossomforth giggled.

"Hey! Hush!" Thunderlane frowned. Then he smirked. "I know! I've got just the thing to remind me!" He raised a diode to his lips. "AJ. What's the name of the chief male character in William Flankspeare's play, Much Ado About Neighing?"

"Ooooh!" Blossomforth gulped down another bite and smiled. "You've got one of the Princess' doohickeys!"

"Yeah! And it's a darn good doohickey!" Bzzzt! "Shh! It's starting! Listen!"

A tiny translucent Applejack appeared, grinning into the park's sunny air. "Howdy! The chief male character in William Flankspeare's Much Ado About Neighing is Benebuck, lord of Padua and companion to Don Pedroats. His foil is Beatrots, niece to Leonatoats of Messina, and the two ponies become romantic heroes in the classic dramedy."

"Awwwww..." Blossomforth cooed, cupping her hooves together. "She's so tiny and cute!"

Right then, the holographic earth pony turned towards Thunderlane and tilted her head. "Would ya like me to reopen yer query on 'Hot Plump Zebra Flanks' from eight hours ago?"

"Guhhhh-No no no!" Thunderlane batted and swatted at the watch until the holographic avatar fizzled out. "That won't be necessary! Eheheh..." He gulped and smiled Blossomforth's way, sweating. "So... uh... m-more daffodils?"

"I dunno," Blossomforth droned, her eyes like straight daggers. "You think it'll make my flank plump, Don Jockey?"


"Quick! Quick!" Snips giggle-snorted, leaning forward across the recess yard. "Ask her how many apples you would have to eat before you could fart the roof of the school building off!"

"Derrrrr..." Snails spoke into the bulky watch nearly falling off his tiny fetlock. "AJ, how many apples—snkkt, heeheehee—would I have to eat before I could fart the roof of the school building off!"

Bzzzt! "Awww, I'm sorry, sugarcube. 'Fraid I didn't hear you quite right."

Snips, Rumble, Featherweight, and several other colts laughed and hollered.

"Wait! Wait! No, I know!" Snips waved his forelimb. "Ask her who Rumble's secret crush it!"

Suddenly, Rumble did a double-take, blushing. "Hey!"

"AJ!" Snails smirked. "Who is Rumble's secret crush!"

"Awww, I'm sorry, sugarcube. 'Fraid I didn't hear you quite right."

Snips and Snails chuckled. "Ya hear that, Rumble?!" Snips wheezed. "Does not compute! You're hopeless!"

Rumble folded his forelimbs, frowning. "That's not funny!"

"Hehhhhh sure it is!" Snails warbled.

"Oh come on, ya wuss!" Snips elbowed Rumble, smirking. "Grow a thicker coat! It's all in good fun!" He snorted. "Even if you won't be having fun for a long... long time! Hahaha!"

"Heheheheh!"

All of the sudden, Rumble leaned in past Featherweight. "AJ! How many apples would it take to fit inside Snips' Mom?"

"Pfft. Oh please..." Snips rolled his eyes. "Like the app could possibly answer something like that—"

Bzzt! Smiling, the translucent Applejack said, "Merigold Snippenstein, forty-two year old female resident of Ponyville, Equestria, has a recorded mass of about five hundred kilograms last census, which equals out to the mass of approximately five thousand freshly-grown apples!"

Snips' jaw dropped to the ground.

Meanwhile Rumble and the rest of the colts collapsed, laughing and giggling incessantly. Snips hid his face with a groaning sound.

Meanwhile, the crystalline watch slid off of Snails' fetlock, rattling into place while the holograph flickered.

"Would you like to know how many freshly-grown bananas it would take to match the same total density?"


"Alright!" Caramel slapped his hooves together as he smiled at the farmers and workhooves that had gathered beside the pile of lumber in the middle of a grassy field. "Before we get started on erecting this storehouse, lemme ask each and every one of you..." He smirked. "Did you come prepared?"

The mares and stallions nodded, smiling as they brandished their glittering watches in the bright sunlight.

"Yeeeha!" Caramel kicked his hooves triumphantly. "Then let's do this in style! Did everyone download the app?"

Everypony nodded and murmured as one.

"Good! Then let's all synchronize..." He raised his diode and tapped a button on the side with his other hoof. A coordinated beeping sound lit the air. "Alright... that should about do it. Everypony in positions?"

He looked across the way to see several muscular stallions standing beside the piles of lumber and nodding.

"Alright! Then let's get this thing started! Ahem." He leaned his muzzle up close to his watch. "AJ, connect to the leyline network and play 'Work Motivation Song Zero-Zero-One.'"

Bzzzt! An identical orange pony pulsed to life across everyone's watches. "Howdy, y'all! Altogether now! A one... and a two... and a—" Synthetic violin music crackled across the airy farmscape. "Raise this barn! Raise this barn! One! Two! Three! Four!"

Chuckling to themselves, the ponies fitted together pieces of lumber and raised the foundation of the storehouse in time with the beat.

"Togther we can raise this barn! One! Two! Three! Four!"


"And that's not all!" Fluttershy smiled, petting Angel from where she sat across the table inside Sugarcube Corner. "But she helps me with looking up strange animal ailments, rare toxic flowers from the Everfree Forest, not to mention the appopriate way to mix medicine with dry rabbit food! She even knows all about the natural mating seasons as they're happening! Listen."

Fluttershy lifted her watch to her soft yellow muzzle.

"Ahem. AJ, when do potato bugs most commonly breed?"

Bzzt! "Awww, I'm sorry, sugarcube. 'Fraid I didn't hear you quite right."

"Ooops! Uhm..." Fluttershy smiled, blushing. "S-sometimes you have to speak to it 'right'." Taking a deep breath, she rephrased the question: "AJ, when do you reckon potater bugs most commonly make lurve?"

"Howdy!" The little holographic Applejack tilted her hat with a smile. "Why, you can find most bug species copulatin' around the first week and a half of May, usually situated alongside rivers'n'streams, or else where moisture is most ample and abundant!"

Fluttershy giggled lightly and looked up. "See?"

"Pfft!" Pinkie Pie nearly spat into her bowl of ice cream. "Sounds like yours is busted!"

Rarity occupied the last of three chairs. "Mmmm..." After a dainty sip of iced tea, she smiled delicately. "You're missing the point, darling. This isn't exactly the most... utilitarian product that most Ponyvilleans would have you believe."

"Well, I happen to find it very useful," Fluttershy said. "Even if it has a few kinks in it. Sometimes..." She sighed, smiling and nuzzling the edge of the crystalline diode as the little orange figure did a hoofy-kick. "...I just like to turn it on so that I feel like our best friend is always with me. After all, who wouldn't want a portable little Applejack in your pocket?"

Thud! Rainbow Dash flew into a wooden support beam, wincing. "Ugh... owie..."

"Whoah! Watch that first dip, Dashie!" Pinkie Pie giggled. "It's a doozy!"

"What..." Rainbow hissed, glaring down at the table. "...the buck is wrong with everypony?!"

Rarity blinked. "Why, I'm afraid we don't understand, darling."

Wooosh! Rainbow Dash hovered low besides the table. "I go to Cloudsale on an important rain-making operation for just two days. I come back, and suddenly everypony in town has a tiny talking Applejack that they carry around and ask stupid questions to!"

Rarity replied, "Well, as you can see, it's all part of Twilight's latest experiment with the World Wide Wh—"

"I know what it is!" Rainbow frowned. "But since when was AJ programmed into it?"

"Does it matter?" Rarity grinned. "Like Fluttershy said, it's like having a little piece of our friend everywhere and always!"

"Yeah, but it's not really her." Rainbow frowned, forelimbs folded. "And that's dumb."

"Darling, don't be ridiculous! It's all in good fun!" Rarity grinned. "Observe!" She opened her saddlebag and placed her watch down onto the table-top as if it were a coaster. "AJ, say 'Your sound card works perfectly.'"

Bzzt! A smiling little horse beacon chirped: "Yer sound card works perfectly!"

"AJ, increase 'Synthetic Drawl' level to Factor Five."

The air rang with a delicate chime.

"Now..." Rarity stifled a giggle. "AJ, repeat your last commanded statement."

The tiny hologram tossed her hat. "Yeeeeeeehaww! This snazzy lil' sound card here works like a greased-up monkey in a slip'n'slide contest! Whew!"

Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie giggled.

"Ughhhh..." Rainbow clutched her stomach, her tongue hanging out. "Gagggg..."

"Oh lighten up, Rainbow Dash!" Rarity upturned her nose. "One would think you did all the raining-on-parades over in Cloudsdale!" The unicorn then grinned at the hologram. "AJ, be a dear and quote Chapter Three, Page one hundred thirteen of Joseph Coltrad's Hay of Darkness."

Bzzt! "'And this thang here is why I reckon Kurtz was one heck of a stallion! 'Cuz he had somethin' to gab about. He done said it. Since I had taken a gander over the edge mahself, reckon I fancy better the meanin' of his stare, that could not spot them there candle flickers, but was all wide-like enough to embrace that ol' universe, piercin' enough to penetrate the whole heapin' lot of hearts that beat in the darkness!'"

"Bravo! Bravo!" Rarity clapped delicately.

"Woohoo!" Pinkie pumped her hoof. "I love Maretin Sheen!"

"Okay..." Rainbow swiped up Rarity's watch.

"Hey!" Rarity pouted.

Rainbow shook the crystalline diode, frowning from where she hovered. "One question!" Her eyes narrowed. "Did any of you guys actually get Applejack's permission for this?"

Rarity opened her mouth... but hesitated. She looked across the table. Fluttershy blushed furiously while Pinkie Pie rubbed the back of her mane, wincing.

"Well?!" Rainbow blinked. "Did you? Really? Or has this whole thing turned into a big joke at Applejack's expense?"

"I... really don't think she would mind, Rainbow," Fluttershy asked.

"But as her friends, isn't it our place to get her permission first?" Rainbow folded her forelimbs. "Just think about it! She and her family have lived here for ages." She smirked, eyes shut. "Heh... AJ may not be as super awesome as me, but that doesn't mean that she doesn't have a reputation to maintain!"

"Oh dear..." Fluttershy nibbled on the edge of her hoof. "Have we all been terribly inconsiderate?"

"Nonsense!" Rarity fluffed her mane and leaned back. "We're better friends than that! Besides, this was all Twilight's doing! And I can't for a single moment fathom that she would have installed Applejack's likeness into this experimental device without first getting the honest mare's permission!"


Twilight Sparkle spun from her workbench with a gasp.

"They all have holographic what?!"

"Holographic AJ," Rainbow Dash said. She hovered in the middle of the Royal Treehouse right above Rarity. "Watch." She lifted Rarity's watch and spoke into it. "'AJ, who wrote and composed the hit folk album 'Neigh No More?'"

Bzzt! "Howdy! Maneford and Sons!"

Rainbow tossed the watch forward. "See?"

Twilight caught the watch in a telekinetic grip. She grimaced horribly, then looked across the room. "Rarity? Is it true? Is the whole town full of... of..." She waved the watch around. "...Applejack?"

"Erm..." The unicorn bit her lip, ears folded. "Maybe?"

Twilight frowned. "And none of you girls thought it best to inform me until Rainbow Dash came back from her trip to Cloudsdale?"

"Yes, well, you see... erm..." Rarity fidgeted where she stood, turning paler. "Applejack's holographically projected visage was simply providing us with much tres tres adorable recreation..." She gulped, then smiled with wide teeth. "Squee?"

Twilight sighed. "Rarity, I love AJ. You love AJ. We all love AJ, but this is simple exploitation! You know what this means? The whole success of my experiment may now be determined by this single app and not the merits of the device's link to the World Wide Whinnie itself! It could possibly throw my entire project out of whack!"

"Don't you think you're getting a little bit ahead of yourself, dear?" Rarity beamed. "Everypony in Ponyville loves this device, Twilight! Applejack or not, that's something to be proud of!"

"Only I did not mean for it to have this app!" Twilight exclaimed. "That's the problem!"

"Then if you didn't program that thingy into it..." Rainbow Dash arched an eyebrow. "How did Applejack's looks and voice even get downloaded to begin with?"

Twilight took a deep breath, gazing aside in thought. "Okay, confession time." She gulped. "Months ago, I was first experimenting with imprinting a permanent holographic program onto enchanted crystal. Applejack—as always—was loyal and dependable enough to volunteer." She looked up, her wings outstretched. "But I certainly didn't upload her into the crystalline diodes as the foundation to an information search tool!"

"Well, somepony did!" Rainbow's voice cracked. "Somepony with access to the crystal!"

"They had to have had more access than that," Twilight said, stroking her chin in thought. "They would need full access to my library, my enchanting tools, the crystal itself." Behind her, a little purple shape tried waddling out of the laboratory. "Heck, they'd have to have access to everything in my Palace!" A beat. She spun and snarled towards the doorway before the dragon whelp could exit. "Spiiiiiike!"

"Whoah!" He fell on his tail in the doorframe, wincing. "I didn't upload it to every citizen in Ponyville! Honest!"

"But you still accessed the hologram I crafted from Applejack two months ago!" Twilight said in a stern tone, frowning. "Didn't you?"

"Uhhhh..." The whelp shifted, wriggling on the floor. "Uhhhh... uhm..."

Swooosh! Rainbow Dash flew over, floating above him with a frown. "Well? Out with it!"

"Guh!" He sat up, shrugging. "I... I-I gave it to one pony! One pony with a watch!"

"Oh yeah?" Rainbow leaned forward. "Who?!"

Spike gulped. "It... it was Apple Bloom! She said that Apple Bucking Season had started, so that meant she'd be seeing less and less of Applejack! And that made her super sad! But, with this crystal watch experiment thingy, she found out she could have a hologram of anypony she wanted to follow her to school! So... so she c-came to me asking if I had a record of Applejack! And... y'know... I did! We did!"

Rainbow Dash glanced at the others. Rarity and Twilight exchanged nervous looks.

"I-I've never been all that good at saying 'no' to foals! You guys know that!" Spike squeezed his tail, shuddering. "I couldn't stop th-thinking of how lonely I get when Twilight's having to make her royal visits to Canterlot or the Crystal Kingdom." He sniffled. "Apple Bloom must have... shared the love, so to speak. Now everypony's gotten the same program and it's all my fault. I'm really sorry, Twilight. If I had known more than one pony would have gotten ahold of that application..."

"Ohhhhhhh Spike..." Twilight sighed, wrapping a hoof around him. "While I'm not all that happy for what you've done, I have to admit that it was very sweet of you. But, next time, consult me before you hoof out any of that sort of stuff, okay? You shouldn't have to be worried about Apple Bloom's feelings. If worse comes to worse, we can talk to her and explain the situation together."

"Er... right." Spike nodded emphatically. "Of course, Twilight! I will! Please forgive me."

"And I do, Spike. Just..." She sighed, glancing at the other two mares. "...there's only one thing to do now."


"Guhhh!" Applejack bucked a tree with both hooves. As the apples fell neatly into their baskets, she turned around and swiped her sweaty brow. "So... lemme get this straight..."

Twilight and Spike stood across from the mare in Sweet Apple Acres while she loaded more apples into her wagon, heaving and grunting. As Applejack's shadow crossed over the two, Spike trembled all the harder.

"...Spike here handed that newfangled hologram of me to Apple Bloom, and then Apple Bloom must have shared it with other ponies..." Applejack scratched her mane from beneath her Stetson. "And now, lo and behold, the whole darn town has got little tiny flickerin' versions of me bein' carried in their purses and on their fetlocks?"

"Flickering and talking, Applejack." Twilight lifted a watch in question and pressed a button.

Bzzt! "Howdy!" A tiny orange pony waved her hat and smiled.

Twilight continued. "And, unfortunately, it would appear as though the application has proliferated well beyond my capacity to uninstall them."

"So, in other words, everypony's carryin' a lil' ol' me around, askin' her all sorts of funny stuff?" Applejck asked, blinking.

"Oh please!" Spike fell to his knees, pleading with both sets of claws clasped together. "Don't be mad, AJ! It's actually a really nifty program once you get used to it—"

"Mad?" Applejack's eyes narrowed. "Mad?!" Her eyes narrowed harder... and she smirked. "Are ya kiddin'?"

Spike did a double-take. "Huh?"

"Heh!" Applejack swiped her brow again. "I may have been busy buckin' apples all week, but everythang I hear from downtown Ponyville makes me smile somethin' awful! Why, if I didn't know better, I'd say the whole heapin' village had been hit with a case of the giggles! Seems like everypony's smilin' over one thang or another! Are y'all tellin' me that it's because of this here robotic AJ nonsense?"

"Uhhhhh..." Spike gulped and smiled. "Yes?"

"Hot diggety! Ain't nothin' I like more than bringin' cheer and contentment to Ponyville!" Applejack winked. "If y'all ask me, I'd say that's just fine and dandy!" She waved a hoof and trotted back towards her baskets of fruit. "Let the ponyfolk have their lil' orange encyclopedia! If they're happy with it, then I'm happy with it, ya hear?"

"So..." Spike stood up on wobbly legs. "You mean you're not angry?"

"Grrrff..." Applejack slid the last basket in the back of her wagon. "Not even in the slightest, partner." She gasped as the whelp rushed ahead, hugging her leg.

"Oh, Applejack! I'm so relieved! I-I thought I had destroyed your life or somthing!"

"Pfft. Over a lil' gizmo?" Applejack shook her head. "You'd have to do something really awful to get my apples sour!"

"Well, I think that's wonderful, Applejack," Twilight said, trotting towards Spike's side and resting a hoof on his shoulder. "We were really worried for a second there."

"You was? Whatever for?"

"Well, none of the other girls had even spoken to you about it. And when Rainbow Dash flew back and saw everypony chatting with little holographic versions of you—well—she got really worried over your well-being, and rightfully so."

"Pfft! Rainbow Dash can go soak her scrawny head! I lurve Ponyville, and if Ponyville wants to lurve me back, then that's A-Okay with me. And dun y'all worry about Apple Bloom none." The mare gave a freckled wink. "I'm gonna sit down and have a nice talk with her. If she misses her big sis that much, then she should just up and tell me, ya reckon?"

Twilight Sparkle giggled. "Yes, AJ. We 'reckon.'" She smiled. "You know... it really, truly is wonderful having a friend such as you."

"Heh..." Applejack trotted over and hitched herself to the front of the wagon. "So I've heard."

"But I mean it. Really." Twilight gulped and said, "Having a smaller version of you around—holographic or not—only makes our world all the brighter, especially when we can't always have you around all the time."

"Awwwww... shucks, sugarcube." Applejack tilted the brim of her hat forward. "Yer makin' me blush."

"Not like we can help it," Spike said with a slight chuckle. "We learned to be honest from you."

Twilight blinked, then suddenly gasped. "Oh! I know!"

"What?" Applejack asked. She squinted while Twilight trotted forward and strapped and strapped the crystalline watch to her orange fetlock. "Uhhh... what am I supposed to do with this thingy?"

"Anything. Anything at all," Twilight said with a smile.

"Dun it belong to Rarity or somethin'?"

"I'm pretty sure she'd be happy to contribute to such generosity." Twilight winked. "Besides, you've more than earned it."

"Well, I'll see if I can make the best of it, Twilight." Applejack tilted her hat again. "Spike. I'd best be goin' now." With a deep breath, she galloped forward, drawing the heavy wagon along with her.

Spike and Twilight stood amidst the apple trees, waving. "So long, AJ! Best of luck with the Apple Buck Season!"

"Much oblidged!"


That night, after a long day of loading apples into the barn—and an even longer bath—Applejack strolled limply into her bedroom, yawning. She sat on the side of her bed, brushing her brilliant golden mane in the glow of a flickering candle. Glancing aside in mid brush-stroke, she spotted the watch. The diode sat neatly on her bedside table.

"Hrmmmm..." Her brow furrowed. She paused in straightening her mane, reaching out to touch the crystalline device.

Bzzt! A little tiny her appeared, waving a translucent hat. "Howdy!"

"Whoah, heheh..." Applejack smirked. "You sure are silly-lookin', bein' that small and all."

"Would ya like to continue last night's query concernin' 'Trenderhoof Beach Photos?'"

"Erm... no, thank you." Applejack winced slightly. "Though I reckon Rarity would. Ahem." She tilted her head aside. "Uhhh... AJ, how far would ya have to dig to reach the center of the Earth."

Bzzt! "Assumin' y'all can survive the heat of the liquid molten core, approximately three thousand nine hundred and eight-two miles!"

"Heh... fancy that." Applejack placed the brush down and grasped her red hair ribbon. "AJ, what's the largest apple that ever done been picked?"

"The largest apple ever picked was the magically-enchanted Goliath Delicious of the Creamy Cosmos Farm, measurin' at four hundred pounds."

"Whew-wee!" Applejack tied her mane into a ponytail. "Sounds 'bout right." She smiled. "AJ, at approximately what time tomorrow is the sunrise?"

"On April the Twelfth, Princess Celestia will raise the sun at approximately Seven-oh-Five A.M."

Applejack tossed her tied mane back and sat in place. Deadpan, she gazed out the darklit window beside her. "AJ..." She took a deep breath, gulping. "...did Ma and Pa love me?"

Bzzz-zzzt! The hologram glitched out, reappearing with a wide grin. "Apples! Apples! Apples!"

"Hrmmm..." Applejack softly smiled. "...I figured as much."

She pulled back the covers, blew out the candle, and tucked herself into bed. Lying on her side, she gazed at the hologram and murmured, "AJ, sing 'Hush Now, Quiet Now,' but keep it low-like... and real slow." She gulped. "So it'll sound more like her."

The translucent little pony closed her eyes, swinging back and forth as she gently crooned: "Hush now, quiet now, it's time to lay yer sleepy head. Hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed..."

As the song went on, looping into the darkness, Applejack clutched a pillow to her fuzzy chest and curled up beneath the blankets. She closed her teary eyes while a soft smile graced her freckles. Sooner than later, the mare was out like a flickering light.

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