I'm already starting to reconsider things, Journal (yes, I know that didn't last long—shut up).

I woke up not feeling entirely sure of myself or the manifesto I wrote last night. Turning over, I saw Princess Cadance sitting beside the bed.

"How long?" I murmured, rubbing the rheum from my eyes with my ankles.

"About an hour. Sorry for breaking in, but we were all pretty worried about you when you refused to eat supper," she said, standing up. "I know you just woke up, but do you want to talk about what's bothering you?"

I sighed and closed my eyes. "I... I don't know anything anymore." I got up out of bed and walked over to my journal and used the magic light to locate the manifesto entry.

Then I hoofed the journal to Cadance. "Here. Read this entry, and only this entry," I said.

We both sat on the floor. I watched as Cadance's face paled in horror. When she reached the end of the entry, she closed the book. "Twilight..."

"I know, I went off the deep end."

Cadance breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad you've realized that."

"I'm not saying I was wrong, necessarily. Maybe things would be better off that way." I didn't sound sure of myself.

"The negative feelings you have after masturbating are normal for somepony who has been through trauma, Twilight."

"Trauma like what you and my parents and the Crusaders have put me through, you mean?"

Cadance shook her head. "No. I mean the trauma of being raised in a sterile environment where you're taught your body is filthy and sex is kept hidden like it's something repulsive. In your case, you're dealing with an entire lifetime believing that sex with foals is wrong."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't patronize me. You were raised that way, too, Cadance."

"And I used to feel that way after masturbating, too," she revealed. "But I got over it before I married your brother, and I got over it a lot more once I learned how my people used to do things."

"Your 'people'?" I asked, raising a brow.

"The crystal ponies. Twilight, sex with foals used to be normal in the Crystal Kingdom. Before Sombra's rule it was a part of our society," she explained.

I scoffed. "I have a hard time believing that."

"It's true. But under Sombra's rule, sex was used to hurt ponies—adults and foals alike. It has taken a great deal of therapy and communal intervention to heal those wounds," she said.

I shook my head. "I... I don't know about any of this. It feels so terrible, Cadance. Something good can't feel this awful inside. I just won't allow that to be true."

"Truth isn't about what you want to allow," said Cadance, scooting over to me. "Trust me, Twilight. That bad feeling won't be there forever. I promise it can be overcome with time. The turning will speed that process up considerably."

"There's so much data supporting how this hurts foals—"

"That data comes from a society that demonizes foal sexuality. If everypony tells you you're a victim, you'll be a victim. But more importantly, the data are aggregate statistics. Violent abuse is lumped in with normal sexuality and averaged," argued Cadance.

I looked up to her. "So why don't researchers separate out what you call 'normal sexuality' and prove it?"

"They tried, and the results were censored. But we have good data on foal sexuality in the Crystal Kingdom," said Cadance. "Twilight, look at how well-adjusted Pipsqueak is. Do you honestly think he's traumatized by his experiences?"

I closed my eyes. "I..." I said, then paused in thought. "No. No, I don't, and I can't explain why. Is that what you want?"

Cadance looked at me with concern, her brow furrowed. "Is... what?"

"You want me to admit that the evidence so far supports the vamponies' assertions, right? Fine. Everything you've said is supported by recent data: every vampony loves being a vampony, the foals seem psychologically healthy, and it even appears that Prince Blueblood is better off as a gelding," I admitted. "I can't explain any of these things, but I don't want them to be true."

"Well, of course you don't. For them to be true, you'd have to admit that the way you've seen the world your entire life is wrong. That isn't easy for anypony," she said, and put her leg around me.

I was tempted to buck it off, but I needed the contact. I leaned into her and began to cry. Cadance held me in her legs and petted my back as I let the tears flow. Finally, after a couple of minutes, I stopped. She handed me a hoofkerchief and I wiped my eyes and blew my nose.

"So what do you feel now?" she asked me. Her voice sounded ginger enough to trot across a field of eggs without breaking a single one.

"I, I feel..." I started, and paused in thought. "I still don't know what to feel. I can't argue against your position, other than to point out these drastic changes are happening too quickly."

"I agree. That's why we aren't trying to turn all of Equestria overnight anymore," she said. "We're going to proceed very slowly."

"But why don't you just turn me, then? If it cures all the psychological ailments from sex, why did you stop?"

Princess Cadance cleared her throat, then looked behind her at the closed door. "Twilight... Don't tell anybatty I told you this. Okay?"

Slowly, I nodded my head.

"We are going to forcibly turn you, Twilight. We wanted to give you a final chance to make the decision yourself after spending time with Applejack, but... if you don't willingly join us after meeting with her, the others intend to put an end to your suffering. We'll jam Applejack's split hoof around your muzzle, you'll taste the wolf, and that will be the end of it. Problem solved."

I felt a bizarre mixture of relief and fear. "The others. You don't agree with them," I realized aloud.

Cadance nodded. "I'm in the minority. But even I have to admit that I'm tired of watching you suffer when we have a cure we're certain will work."

"I guess that's it then," I said. "What happened to the whole 'taking me to meet Celestia' thing, then? Was that always a lie?"

"Twilight, you know we can't risk taking you out of the castle. I'm sorry. There was no way that was going to happen."

Then I did something that surprised myself: I hugged Cadance tightly.

"It's okay," she said, soothingly. She held me with a firm grip, and kissed me on the top of my head.

"I want this to be over," I whispered. "This is actually a relief... sort of." I broke the hug, trying not to cry again.

"Well, I think your friend will help you change your mind. When you see how happy she is as a cunt, you'll want to join her," said Cadance. "And I have some big news to share that might help, too."

"News?"

Cadance blushed. "I was going to save this until after your conversion, but you may as well know now. I'm with foal, Twilight."

"With foal?" I knew what she meant, of course, but I was stunned.

"I'm pregnant. It's Master's, too."

"Pregnant—oh my gosh. You're going to have a baby?!" I said, smiling despite the mixed emotions in my gut.

"Yes!" said Cadance. "Apparently foals aren't automatically infected, so she won't be a vampony coming out, which is good for safety reasons. But it's a girl, and I'm due in four months." She grinned wide enough to flash her back teeth at me.

"I'm... I'm really happy for you," I said. "I'd be ecstatic in any other situation, I just don't want her to be hurt... but you and my brother would—no, you will—make wonderful parents."

I believe it, too. No matter how bucked-up they might be, I can't imagine my brother ever doing anything that would run the risk of hurting his baby daughter. Dear Celestia, I just hope they're right about the sex thing.

"Do you want some breakfast?" she asked me.

"Please," I said.

"Good. Because once you've eaten, we have another pleasant surprise for you."

We ate, and I allowed Cadance to replug me with Rarity's toy. I'm back with Team Creepy for now, but I'm scared to death of what might happen if I orgasm again...

I kind of hope I never have another orgasm, Journal. I can't keep toggling back and forth like this. I need help to be whole again.

Princess Cadance led me into the throne room.

"Sit in front of the thrones and bow your head. Don't lift it until you're told to," said Cadance. "Trust me, you'll appreciate this."

Flash Sentry and my brother were here, both taking the Stance. I did as I was bid, shivering with nerves.

I hope this is Applejack, I thought to myself. One way or another, we'll finish this nightmare.

I heard a side door open and the slow clop of somepony else enter the room, much too slow to be anypony but a Master in the Stance. He stopped right in front of my face. He was wearing black boots made of shiny vinyl. Then I saw the riding crop tap my chin and tug my gaze upwards.

"Who... Moondancer?" I said, looking up at him—or her, rather.

Moondancer is an old friend from back when I lived in Canterlot, one of very few ponies I can relate to, intellectually. She's probably the only pony I know well who might be a bigger dork than I am. People say we look a lot alike, but I don't see it. She used to wear a ragged black sweater everywhere, tie her forelock up, and had horn-rimmed black glasses complete with nerd tape.

She looked different today.

Her glasses were the same, but her manetie was black rather than pink, and her black sweater was replaced with a chestpiece of black vinyl that ended mid-thigh on her forelegs. She wore a scowl on her face. But most of my attention was drawn to the large, erect black vinyl horsecock between her legs, currently dangling over my head. It was strapped to her belly and came complete with false balls. It matched the black vinyl of her chest and boots, naturally... and the onyx of her featureless collar and earrings.

Or was it his, rather? I wasn't really sure at the moment, though I figured (correctly, it turns out) her was still more appropriate.

She towered over me, a nasty sneer spreading across her muzzle. "Sparkle," she said, as though my name itself were an invective. "Well, well. It's nice to see you finally where you belong."

"Moondancer?" I repeated, still stunned. I received a stinging slap of the crop to one cheek—more surprising than painful.

"It does not speak without permission. It refers to Master with 'yes, Master'," she spoke crisply.

"I, I..."

Swat. Just as one cheek stopped stinging, the other one was smacked.

"Yes, Master," I replied without even thinking, lowering my gaze. It wasn't the pain, as it was slight enough to ignore. It was the humiliation that hurt. Somehow, though, it felt right. I knew I deserved this, and I knew why.

This time she lifted my chin with her hoof, bent over awkwardly at the hips. "I needed you and you abandoned me!" she accused, her eyes tearing up. "I'm surprised you even remember my name... Princess of Friendship, my ass!"

Her hoof raised the crop high overhead, and I winced. Then my brother's aura caught it.

"Not in anger, Master Moondancer," said my brother. He wore a stern frown.

"She... she did this to me!" said Moondancer, but she released the crop and let it clatter to the floor. She fell to all fours after it, tears running down her cheeks. "I gave up on friendship completely after you missed my party, you selfish jerk! You were the only one in school who understood me, and you never cared..."

Without waiting for permission, I reared up and hugged her. "I was a terrible friend. I'm sorry," I said, holding her tight in my forelegs. Moondancer simply cried into my shoulder and shivered.

We stayed like that for at least a minute. Nopony in the room said anything. Finally, we broke the hug, and I spoke.

"I think... I think you should..." I started.

"Master, may it speak," she corrected me, wiping her eyes.

"Master, may it speak?" I asked, frowning.

"Please," she said.

"I... it wants to speak as a friend," I said.

"You may. I guess if you want to pretend to be my friend, that's better than nothing," she said and looked down at the floor.

This time it was my turn to pull her chin upwards. "No. I want to be your friend. Moondancer, I didn't know the first thing about friendship when I abandoned you. I'm truly, truly sorry..."

She nodded and suppressed the waterworks from reemerging. "I'd really like that, Twilight."

I sighed. "And I know you want to punish me, and I deserve it," I added, and reached over to grab the crop in one hoof, handing it to her. "Y-you can hurt me now."

A look of disbelief crossed her face. "You're serious."

I nodded.

Moondancer's face grew sad. "I don't want to hurt you, Twilight Sparkle! I want to give you what you need," she said, her voice suddenly meek.

"Master Moondancer is applying to be your Master, Twilight," said my brother.

I was stunned. "But... why? You're right, I abandoned you when you needed me—"

"—and if it weren't for the Order, I'd still be boarded up in my apartment like a friendless recluse," said Moondancer. "They saved me, Twilight. They've helped me learn to forgive you. And now, if you want, we could share something very special together."

"Since this mess began, I've been falling head over heels for friends and crushes," I admitted. "In all this time I never imagined I might be with someone who actually understands me and my interests. Maybe Spike, but he's still so young."

Moondancer smiled. "We have a lot in common. That's why I've petitioned to own you for a while, to see if things work out. I'm planning to move to Ponyville, at least temporarily until I know if you'll be my permanent property."

I blushed. "I sort of thought Flash was going to end up being my Master..." I looked in his direction, but couldn't meet his gaze with my eyes.

"Maybe someday," said Flash, "or at least I could borrow you and be a large part of your life. But your siblings still need me in the Crystal Kingdom for now. We'll see."

"Twilight," said Moondancer, retaking the Stance and tapping the crop to my chin again—this time held in her magic rather than by hoof, "once my petition goes through the Court, you're going to be mine. We'll learn together if it's a good fit. You don't get a choice in the selection process: you have to give me a chance. Do you understand?"

Slowly, I nodded my head. "Of course. I want to give you a chance, anyway. I just... I'll miss being intimate with Applejack and Rainbow Dash..."

Several chuckles went around the room. "You silly horse. I'm going to force you to fuck your friends on a regular basis. You won't miss anything," she said. "How do you not understand this yet?"

"She's still fixed," said Flash Sentry. "The marbles on her are accurate."

"What? Why?" asked Moondancer.

"We wanted to give her a chance to go through the process with Applejack, when she arrives this evening," said Shining Armor.

"Aww. That's adorable," said Moondancer. "Things will make much more sense once you're a broken cunt, Twilight. In the meantime, it would behoove you to learn your place."

Moondancer pushed down on her vinyl cock with one forehoof, booping it against my nose. I panted softly. "M-master, may it...?"

"Show me what a cunt you are," she demanded, grinning a fangy grin. Leaning down, she snapped a leash on the ring of my collar, like I was some kind of dog. I suddenly realized that's what the ring was for. (I honestly don't know why I didn't figure that out earlier—I think I saw Cadance tied to a post with it back when I first spied on her and Brother. Dear Celestia, how far I've come since that horrifying first glimpse...)

"Yes Master," I said, filled with a strange sense of pride. It didn't make sense, Journal. I was being treated like an animal (a non-sapient beast, I mean—I know I'm technically an animal), and yet I was proud of what was happening to me.

Almost instinctively, I leaned forward and kissed the tip of her cock. The smell of latex was almost disappointing compared to the real thing, but still intriguing. It didn't matter that her penis wasn't real. I was able to show her love and gratitude this way, and so I did.

It was large, maybe even larger than my brother's, and it barely fit into my lips. She pressed it into my mouth and held the back of my head with a hoof. "Very good, my little bitch. I've been made aware you have little experience with dick... and I have to admit, so do I—for now. Don't worry, though. Even if Flash Sentry isn't available, I'll make sure you get plenty of real dick in your diet."

I remembered my lesson from Pip and pulled my lips back over my teeth. Even though she couldn't feel it, it felt important to me. My tongue gently stroked the underside of the flexible rod, and I moaned nasally.

I'm not sure how long I sucked on her. It didn't seem long, but my mind was whirling. She pulled herself free and giggled, thwapping me in the face sidelong with it. "You and I are going to have so much fun!" she declared, then fell to all fours to look me in the eye. Taking my leash with one hoof, she yanked sharply on it, planting my muzzle on hers, and we began to kiss.

It's hard to give details at this point. We kissed for several minutes while Cadance (at Shining's behest, presumably something Moondancer had earlier requested) came over and petted my mane and withers like a dog. I was starting to remember being a foal again, back when Moondancer and I worked as lab partners. I remembered being close to her, and never quite feeling close enough... I didn't understand those feelings, but I think I had a crush on her? I was so naive. It didn't matter anymore, though. Here I was with her vampony tongue encircling mine, gently kissing, giving myself to her physically and mentally. I didn't want this to end.

I didn't get my wish, unfortunately. Moondancer broke the kiss and grinned. "Fuck. I love these vampony senses. I can smell just how turned on you are. I want to pound that pussy right here and now, bitch, but I believe your father has dibs. Besides, Lady Cadance needs to prepare you for your friend's arrival. My time with you today is limited, but in the near future we'll be seeing a lot of each other."

I pouted, and nodded. "Thank you Mistress—I mean, Master."

Moondancer shrugged. "I think I prefer Master, but I'm not certain yet. I do, however, prefer you." One quick kiss on the lips from my would-be Master, then Cadance took my leash and led me out of the room.

Minutes later, we had returned to my room. We'd made the walk in silence, with me absorbed in my thoughts. I imagined Moondancer sitting on my face and ordering me to lick her. The grossness of it all didn't faze me anymore. I wanted to show her I loved her, no matter what it took, even if I didn't truly love her yet.

Would I love her?

"So tell me your thoughts," said Princess Cadance, leading me to a small table somepony had brought into the room. It was covered with cosmetics.

"This is what she meant by preparing me?" I asked. "I guess Rarity isn't here to do it."

"I'm pretty good with a makeup brush," said Cadance, with a wink.

"I know. You're always so perfect," I commented. "I mean, you look great, all the time."

"Soon, you will too. Being beautiful is important for a mare. It's your job to make dicks and clits hard whenever you're out and about," she cooed, petting my mane as she sat me down on one side of the table.

"I figured this might happen eventually just by being a princess," I said. "It almost sounds frustrating that way, though. Dressing and primping to turn other ponies on... I guess it works if society is sexualized enough, though."

"Exactly. Besides, as a good cunt, you'll put out whenever somepony wants. They can just walk on up to you and grope your tits or pussy if they feel like it," she explained.

(I could feel myself sloppy with moisture.)

Cadance began to apply makeup. I sat still, but spoke when she wasn't tending to my lips. "What is it like having a Master, though? Is it like being married?" I asked. "I think I feel strongest toward Applejack right now, but I can't have her as a Master because she isn't a Master."

"Marriage is different from having a Master. Both are intimate life-long relationships, and your Master may be one of the ponies you end up marrying. But you don't need to marry your Master," said Cadance, painting my eyes with a brush. "We're still sort of shooting blind on the relationships, though. All of this is very new, so we'll be learning together as a society as we begin to build the sorts of relationships we want ponies to have together."

"One of the ponies? You can marry multiple ponies?" I asked.

"We expect plural marriages to be reasonably common, yes," said Cadance. "There may be different kinds of marriage as well."

"What does marriage even mean, then?" I asked.

"Well, it's a commitment to spend your lives together, and to work things out in times of trial. I sort of expect you and your six friends—including Spike—will end up in a group marriage," said Cadance. "One of the reasons we're entertaining Moondancer as your Master is that we no longer expect Rainbow Dash will be a Mistress. We think it's more likely she'll be a Lady."

My heart sank. "Have you captured her already?" I asked.

"I'm... not at liberty to say... oh, fuck it. No, we haven't. We're worried about her, so if there's anything you can tell us to help find her, please do," she said.

I sighed. I'm sorry, Rainbow Dash. "I told her to keep Spike safe, and to go public with the vampony information as soon as possible. If she hasn't done it already, I have no idea what she's up to."

"Probably keeping Spike safe. We have informants throughout the media companies in Canterlot to head that latter possibility off," she said. "Revealing information on the vamponies right now could start a war, or worse. It wouldn't be safe for anypony."

"I know. That's the only reason I'm telling you," I said. "I don't want anything to happen to her, and I don't think initiating a confrontation is in anypony's best interests anymore. You're rational enough to talk to. If the conversion process doesn't bring me over to your side, I think you'll actually listen to what I have to say."

"We would, of course," said Cadance. "We've even suspended operations until you're converted. The Mayor was the last pony we intend to turn until we've turned you—not counting Rainbow Dash, Celestia, or Spike, naturally."

"Naturally," I said, sardonically.

Cadance opened my mouth with a hooftip. "It's not so bad," she insisted, painting my lips bright pink. "Spike will be better off once he's no longer torn between loyalties. Fighting Rarity is hurting him."

I waited for my lips to finish. "I suppose," I finally said, then looked up as Cadance raised a hoof mirror.

I looked incredible, though not in a traditional sense. I had on so much makeup I looked like a whorse. Every action of my face was punctuated by the decorations: blinking drew attention to my long mascaraed eyelashes, opening my mouth made my lips look like a puffy vulva, and tilting my head drew attention to the excessive fur blush. It wasn't attractive because it was natural, it was just the opposite. I looked beautiful because I looked like I was trying to look beautiful. I looked like a toy made up specifically to harden and service cock, and it was this fact that was arousing, not the makeup itself.

"Dear Celestia," I whispered, taking an empty gulp of air.

"It will be your job to service Applejack once she's ready, and this will help to turn her on. It's part of your duty as a princess to be a prominent cunt," she explained, and kissed me square on the lips. "Mmm. I want to fuck you right now, but I'm not supposed to. We want you to be hungry for your friend."

"This is it, isn't it? I accept my fate with her, or you'll force it on me," I said. "I should feel nervous, but I feel relieved instead. I don't even care about becoming a vampony anymore. I'm just scared to death I'll feel miserable if I have another orgasm..."

"Twilight Sparkle, listen to me. That lovely marefriend of yours will hold you close and love you, and she'll help you to get through these feelings you're struggling with. Just let it happen, okay?" she said. "I promise you can do this."

I hope she's right, Journal.

I've finished writing this down, and Applejack has arrived and been placed in a room. They're setting everything up to make our meeting as romantic and personal as possible. I'm still not sure what will happen, as I'm finding it difficult to predict my own reaction to things anymore. I hope it will all be over soon.

Somehow, I have a creeping premonition that it won't be that simple.

I'm ready to go now. I've missed you Applejack. I'm bringing the book, ink, and light with me in my saddlebags. She's in the Princess Suite and I expect I may be holed up in there overnight.