I informed Princess Luna I'd finished writing. She slipped out of bed (where she'd been cuddling a sleeping Pipsqueak—yes, the tiny runt from Ponyville who'd had a crush on her) and she cast the transcription spell on my mind. She was fully nude, neither wearing an ounckse nor her usual regalia. Even her hooves were unshod.

Somehow this felt... 'naughty'? But that's the opposite of how going nude is supposed to work. Right?

I cleared my throat. "Okay. Now, before you start your story, we really need to talk about this," I said, pointing at the tiny colt, who couldn't possibly be older than six.

"I assumed as much, Princess," said Luna. She carefully tucked Pip beneath her satin bedsheets and placed a tiny set of earmuffs on his ears. "This way he should not be awakened, but do take care not to shout or use your Royal Canterlot Voice."

I thought this was a silly request. "I'm not going to shout," I promised, but the expression on my face said, "Really?".

Luna sat on the floor, and I followed her lead. There were plenty of pillows, which was at least one nice thing to happen to me today. Then she tossed me a wet towel.

"What's this sup— oh," I said, blushing fiercely. I lifted a pillow in front of my groin for modesty and wiped my mare-parts clean, drying with one of the towels from the bed I hadn't already dampened. Luna took both towels and teleported them away, along with the rest in the bed. (She had plenty more available, naturally. If I didn't mention this, they were colored an unusual but beautiful mix of deep blue and shiny silver. I'm pretty sure Rarity would adore them.)

"I ask for your tranquility because you have earned, shall we say, a reputation in recent weeks," said Luna. "No offense is intended by this observation. It is perfectly understandable that you would have a flair for the dramatic at present, given the terrible suffering you have, and continue to, put yourself through—"

"Luna, stop. I'm not interested in hearing that blame-the-victim shit again," I said. "Do you realize what you're doing to that foal?" My eyes were narrow, and I'm sure she could tell that I was about to give her the third degree.

"Pipsqueak's stay with me is a conversation we should have tomorrow, for it will take quite a while. If it helps put you more at ease, I am merely cuddling him, and he is not a vampony foal. He retains his virginity at present," she said.

At present. Yeah.

"Fine, we'll talk about it later," I said, and made sort of an exasperated grunting noise. (I'm not sure how much of my self-description is relevant, to be honest, but I'm trying not to omit anything now that the spell is active). I continued, "As we've discussed, I'm here to learn how this Order of Spring nonsense started. However, I also have some specific questions I hope you can answer."

"The Order of Spring has no beginning, to be precise, but I can indeed detail the history of the idea and terminology, the vampony infection, and much more. If you have questions of another nature, you may ask some now, or wait until after your history lesson," said Luna. "I shall answer all that I may, which should cover neigh any question you might think to ask; however, I'm sure you already are aware that I will not reveal my prophetic source or anything regarding the heavily overdramatized 'secret'. The latter is something your brother wishes to reveal to you tomorrow, so you can discuss the secret and its ramifications with the Council the moment you learn about it. That said, those two topics are the only ones which are, a priori, off-limits."

I nodded, then took a deep breath and closed my eyes, preparing myself for the discussion. Luna waited patiently while I collected my thoughts and mentally ordered my questions from most to least important. After about a minute, I opened my eyes and spoke.

"Let's start with the biggest mystery, Princess Luna. I still don't understand why you vamponies are going along with these sudden and drastic changes," I said. "None of the explanations I've been given make any sense. Sex isn't enough to do this to you. Even brain damage shouldn't have this kind of effect. Ponies' opinions and beliefs are being reoriented toward extremely taboo positions overnight, many of which I'd be horrified by regardless as to the circumstance that created them. I cannot believe mind control is not involved." (Again, I was using open assumption to bait for more information than she might be willing to divulge at once. I'll stop pointing that technique out now; the unfortunate reader can look for it themself.)

"There is no direct form of mind control," said Luna. "It is true that the breaking tends to drastically change one's perspective on a small, circumscribed area of concepts. This is why we do it. It makes it far easier to convert an adult pony, as you have seen with the Mayor. It has virtually no effect on foals, however."

"Having no effect doesn't matter. It does something when they grow up, doesn't it? It prevents that part of the brain from developing," I said. "How is that any better than what you do to adults?"

"In essence, yes," said Luna. "However, sexual activity has much the same effect."

"That would mean that being broken is basically the same thing as being sexually abused, which is horrible. Don't you realize what you're doing to them?" I asked. My voice carried much more energy than I'd intended.

"Shhh," said Luna, raising a hoof. "Twilight, let us continue to keep to our 'inside voices'."

"Ugh. Sorry." I took a few deep breaths and tried to center myself. It wasn't easy. My emotions are kind of a train wreck lately, but can you blame me?

Er, that was a rhetorical question. Don't try to answer it. Please.

"I, my Night Guard, and the crystal ponies all come from a different culture than modern Equestria. Our cultures are essentially the same, as the divergence happened around the same time period," said Luna. "Our law was a horse of a different color back then. Of course we had measures in place to handle foals and adults alike who were subjects of abuse, but not all actions considered abuse today were considered abuse back then. I know from experience that people—or equines, at any rate—are far more resilient than you believe them to be."

"The scientific evidence is clear, Luna," I said.

Luna nodded. "I mean any sexual activity, even experimentation between foals for which there is little evidence of negative outcomes; but this is largely irrelevant to your concerns. Yes, sex can be abusive, but the evidence is solely from the 'soft' sciences, where work cannot be fully separated from opinion," she said. "Twilight, times change. So do entire societies. Perhaps not genetically, at least not very quickly; but socially, changes can be rapid and induce what I believe is now referred to as 'culture shock'. When you've lived for centuries, eventually you become familiar with this observation," she said. "Has my sister ever spoken to you about the nature of leadership and law?"

I shook my head. "She rarely discussed law, so I never brought it up. I'd always assumed what should be legal and illegal were obvious, but I admit that may have been a misguided assumption," I said. "Not the topic of abuse, however—this one still falls into the 'obvious' category."

Luna sighed. "Celestia has lived much longer than I, due primarily to my imprisonment in the Moon. Since my return, we have discussed the changes to society at length. In my absence, she largely allowed the citizens to guide these changes on their own," said Luna. "When I was banished, same-sex relations were still highly taboo and frowned upon, despite the fact that royalty engaged in them very frequently. Pleasantly, that is no longer the case."

"Over time, ponies learn. Society improves," I said.

"In certain ways, yes. But society changes much more readily than it improves. Every change brings both weal and woe. Some benefits are exchanged for other benefits, and some debits for other debits," said Luna. "As I just mentioned, Princess Celestia spent much of the past millennium allowing our citizens to decide the direction of law by themselves, with minimal guidance. In many cases, it was quite the challenge for her to withhold her voice. For but one salient example, there was a period during the third century when most forms of what we currently consider rape were essentially legal."

"That's... that's simply insane," I said. (I'm certain the astonishment was written all over my face.) "How could ponies possibly do something like that without a malicious influence from outside?"

"It does seem impossible, does it not?" said Luna. "Yet, there were still reasons and calculated benefits, and for a short time, ponies believed those reasons to be sound and those benefits to be worth the peril attached to them."

"No. This is nuts. How did they justify all of this?" I asked, deeply incredulous.

Luna cleared her throat. "As I understand it, and note that this statement is second-hoof through my sister: this was during a time when stallions were not yet treated in a similar way to mares in terms of equality under the law. A stallion could flirt with a female, promise sex, engage in sexual play, and then not deliver upon said promise," she said. "This was a problem in part because it led to acts of revenge by jilted lovers. The asymmetry between genders was just as skewed back then as it is now, you see, and it was very difficult for a mare to get a stallion—perhaps even more so than it is today. The primary means to gain a husband was to become pregnant, as the law back then required and enforced marriage. Additionally, the taboo against the 'gays' was much stronger for stallions than mares, for obvious reasons."

"Wait a minute. You're saying mares used to rape stallions?" I said, then realised I had been raising my voice again. "Erk. Sorry."

"They still do, Twilight. It is rarely as violent, but it is reasonably common. This is a foreign concept to you primarily because you are, to be blunt, unlike most mares. By which I mean you have had different life experiences, but also that you do not have similar goals for marriage and family," explained Luna. "A stallion is capable of ejaculating without his consent, because the sex drive of almost any stallion is too powerful to suppress once the precursors to carnal knowing have been initiated. Indeed, there was a period when many forms of rape, including a few which I would most certainly concur are harmful, were perfectly legal. I take my sister at her word, and I have read some of the censored works which she maintains in a private library."

In a normal circumstance, I would begin salivating at the idea of Celestia maintaining a private library. In full disclosure, I'm doing it now. But the idea of Princess Celestia allowing rape was too offensive for me to pay attention to anything else.

I shook my head repeatedly. "Neigh! Celestia would never allow that to happen," I said, with a particularly nasty scowl on my face. "She must be lying. Or, more likely, you're lying."

"I am not. With all due respect, Twilight Sparkle, I believe I know my sister better than you," said Luna. "It was not easy for her, but she allowed her little ponies to make all kinds of mistakes, even a few grave ones. This helped society to grow without our ancient biases perturbing it. Ponies die for a reason. It is very dangerous to the social order for those of us in power to live such long lives. It can stifle social progress to a degree that is highly burdensome on our citizenry."

That's about when it caught up with me that Princess Luna had just indicated the existence of Princess Celestia's secret library.

"Whoa. Back up a little, please. Did I just hear the words 'Princess Celestia's private library'?" I whispered.

Luna smiled. "Yes, you did. Alas, I cannot show you at present. Later on, once you are well again, we will share the experience together," said Luna. "As friends. And as lovers, naturally."

The worst part? I'm pretty sure I actually do want to be her lover. I think perhaps I've always had inclinations toward her. Luna and I have a lot in common, as social outsiders struggling to understand this new (to us) world of friendship. But when she mentioned my wellness, I felt a tangible pain in my gut. I know she wasn't trying to hurt me, but it stung because her words were true. I'm not well, Journal. I'm almost as unwell as my brother, at this point. I'm not sure what to do, other than try hard as Tartarus not to think about how ruined I am now as a pony.

Luna continued, "It is quite unfortunate that the information of which I speak has been purged from public history books, as it would be most useful to see how the experiment failed. I strongly disagree with what Sister has done with regard to censoring information. I remain surprised she went as far as she did with her plans."

"P-plans?" I asked, still reeling from the 'lovers' comment.

"I shall cover that in the lesson. Bizarre beliefs aside, my point is that Celestia has learned to lead by allowing the citizenry to guide their own development, even in situations where it may be antithetical to her personal beliefs. It is a wise decision, because we are very different from other ponies and cannot generally see Equestria accurately through their eyes," she said. "I, too, have experience with this approach to leadership. It is something we agreed upon prior to my banishment... but, perhaps not to the degree with which my sister has taken the idea."

I rolled my eyes and exhaled in contempt. "There's a right and a wrong, Luna. Everything isn't arbitrary. Yes, some things are a little arbitrary, and it makes sense that different races and groups of people use different social strategies that work specifically for them," said Twilight. "But family, self-determination, and security are never negotiable. Even if ponies used to believe very different things, and those beliefs were considered acceptable at the time, they were still wrong. You can't look at history through a rose-colored lens and excuse horrifying behavior because the people back then didn't know any better. You have to identify past mistakes for what they are in order to prevent history from repeating itself and leading to more suffering."

Luna chuckled, which I found very off-putting. "Twilight, I do agree with you in spirit, and with most of what you are saying. However, your unwavering confidence in your beliefs about your perception of society is, to be rather direct, steeped in hubris. Your views are naturally tainted by the fact that you grew up within the culture whose values you are presently defending. Had you grown up in a different culture, you would be defending different values, because logic is not quite so concrete when it comes to societal decisions," she argued. "This is an unavoidable logical disability for a pony of your young age. You have not yet lived long enough to experience drastic changes in the social order, like the influence of the Order of Spring which remains in its incipient stages. Contrariwise, my sister and I have lived through this kind of upheaval. This isn't your fault, Twilight. Back in our double-digit years, we were precisely the same as you are now in your failing to distinguish accurately between logic and culture. But as the centuries passed us by, we learned not to rely on our own cultural prejudices. So too shall you one day, once your mantle has been earned."

I paused in thought. Some of what she said was very wise, but overall it still rang false to my perked-up ears. "I need to derail this line of inquiry for a second," I said. "Look... Luna, I'm having the same problem with you that I have with Cadance, with Rarity, and with every other crazy mindfucked mare in your vamponies-only club. You've already had your brain magically screwed up and damaged, so I can't expect what you're saying to be rational. I don't even know if you are Luna, if you follow me."

"Ah. Well, Twilight, I have not been broken," said Luna, with a gentle grin. "I can prove this, if necessary."

My mouth hung open for a pregnant pause, then I said, "What."

"As I just informed you: I have not been broken. Neither have I tasted the wolf, for that matter," she replied. "I have been reaped, but I already knew myself for a Lady."

"But... you could smell me! I mean, um, my... you know," I said, trying to avoid the blush.

"Ah. I do not need vampony senses to detect your arousal, Twilight," said Luna, grinning all the while.

"So that's it. You're raping the minds of other mares and sparing yourself, is it?" I said. I think my jaw was trembling.

"Neigh. I fully intend to be broken, but I want my sister to be there with me when it happens, and the others trust that I am on their side despite not having been turned," she said.

I shook my head to clear out the cobwebs. "This makes no sense at all! Then why the hell are you—"

"Shhh," said Luna, reaching out to poke my muzzle with an unshod hoof.

As much as I think it may be justified, I realized then that I shouldn't be allowing my emotions get the better of me like this. I decided to make a stronger effort to cool myself down, and I'm still aspiring to this. I must reason using true, non-emotional, non-vampony logic, whether or not it seems to be working for my arguments. Emotions short-circuit my ability to make rational decisions, even the good ones like guilt and fear. Er, I mean the important ones, rather.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes momentarily. "I'm sorry. I was trying to ask something very important. My ability to understand this insanity hinges on a question I still don't know the answer to. Why are you following the Order? Have you been taken by the Nightmare again, or some other force?" (It seemed clear she hadn't, but I didn't have any reasonable theories to rest my sparkled rump on.)

Princess Luna shook her head. "No. In fact, I am the one who has done most of the work in bringing the Order to fruition."

"Why?" I asked. "Why?" (Repeating myself seems silly in retrospect; but seriously, WHY!?)

"We have discussed this in part already, Twilight," said Luna. "There are several reasons. I believe some of Celestia's changes to our society, in my absence, have proven to be terrible mistakes. The vampony mutation is a straightforward and powerful way to restore our society, and at the same time it shall bring Celestia and myself closer together as sisters. This is my view even though, ironically enough, I was the one on her side of the argument—and vice versa—more than a millennium ago. I will go into more detail on this during your lesson. The Order of Spring is a good thing, Twilight. You will see this yourself, when you finally succumb to your emotional needs and accept us; and more importantly, accept yourself. Vamponies feel the love all around them, not in the same manner as changelings of course, but to similar effect. They can make love swell to impossible heights."

"I still can't believe you're not broken or turned. Your sexual inclinations! I've seen what you and Shadowbane and others do in here," I said. (In the back of my mind, I wondered if I'd just made a terrible mistake.)

"Those inclinations are reasonably common, but even if they were not, I have access to unique data in the form of memories which you lack. I remember things being much more generous and fair than they seem to be today, when magic was used to supplement pleasure rather than prevent it," said Luna. "Even though the crystal ponies were enslaved by a madstallion, it lasted for perhaps a single generation before the timeport, so most crystal ponies remember the good times they had under the older law, too. Having finally shed some of their misery, they've been petitioning your brother and sister over the past few months to make changes. Shining Armor and Cadance have slowly become convinced that the crystal ponies are correct. They were ready to throw into these beliefs before they even knew there was a revolution brewing."

"Hold on a minute. Have you been suggesting that if I were born a thousand years ago, I'd immediately have signed up to follow the Order? And even if that is what you're trying to say, which is completely ridiculous I might add, it still doesn't explain why Fluttershy and Rarity changed so quickly, with virtually no resistance," I said, carefully keeping my voice down this time.

"Love is a mysterious force, Twilight. It is the heart and soul of friendship, and I think you already sense this is true," said Luna.

"We're not talking about love. We're talking about sex," I pointed out. "Love has nothing to do with this."

"Love has everything to do with this. You may not like this truth, Twilight, but sex and love are intimately tied together. The sex vamponies engage in occurs between anypony at all, because their ability to love and forgive one another is much stronger," said Luna. "Sex is a powerful kind of magic, one that can change opinions in a heartbeat. It is a thing which turns what is disgusting into what is beautiful beyond words. It enables you to feel whether things are right or wrong, on a primal level. Obviously, this is not foalproof, just as trusting one's emotions is not foalproof. Yet, the sexual drive of vamponies allows them to know others in a way which you, or I for that matter, cannot possibly imagine. The sensations they feel scream 'compromise', 'forgiveness', and 'unity', or so I am told. Can you imagine feeling forgiveness? Not feeling forgiveness toward somepony, but physically feeling the concept of forgiveness? I most assuredly cannot. These are things impossible to comprehend from the outside."

I closed my eyes. "All of the things my friends have been doing—and especially my parents—are completely out of character for them. I'm sure the feelings from sex can cloud your mind, but can't believe sex is so powerful it can actually change how people think and act," I said. I was starting to feel exhausted, and ready for the argument to be over.

Princess Luna gently lifted my chin with a hoof, and I opened her eyes to meet her gaze. "It can and does, my child. Even without vamponies, sex changes everything about who you are. All ponies must eventually learn to accept their sexual feelings, or they will go mad," she said. "However, I sense you tire of this line of discussion. Is it acceptable if I begin my tale now?"

I nodded. "Yeah, let's get on with this."

"Very well. Now I shall narrate the tale to my best of—" said Luna, stopping short as her eyes widened. "Forgive me Twilight, but there is an issue we must discuss first."

"Um, yes?"

"It is not possible to scry into my bedchambers. How do you know of my sexual activities with Shadowbane?" she asked.

"I, I was just guessing," I lied.

"You are a terrible liar, and your response to me is a fib. You have seen inside my room, and I would like to know how. Through my memories, I would presume?" she said.

Again I attempted to spot the holes in the wall with my eye, but they were perfectly disguised on this side so I wasn't sure where they were. It must be a one-way filter that matches the etching on the wooden panelling on that wall. I couldn't give away the information about the secret tunnel because it would make it easier for the bastards to locate Rainbow Dash. Moreover, I'd lose an important escape route.

I sighed. "Look, you want to know how I did it, right? Well, I want to know who your source is. We all want something," I said, with a shrug. Yeah, there's no way this was going to work.

A sly smile crept across Luna's muzzle. "At least give me a small idea, Twilight. Can you tell me anything at all? Either way, I definitely will enjoy my activities here more now that I'm aware you have the power to observe me in the throes of passion. I hope you see everything, and I do mean that in a sense most literal."

I blushed so hard I could see the reddening in my peripheral vision. I did owe her something, because the spying I did was wrong, and it was wrong for Celestia to do this to her in the first place—something I still don't understand because I neglected to ask her during our meeting in the dream world. "Well... your sister has had a way to spy on you ever since your return," I told her. Then an alarm bell went off in my head.

Wait! What am I doing?!

I didn't understand then, but I do now. I feel guilty, Journal, but this time I feel guilty for Princess Celestia's actions. I have no right to feel this way, yet I do. Maybe she was trying to protect against a reappearance of Nightmare Moon, but this wasn't the right way to go about it. Luna deserved to know at least that much of the truth.

Her face immediately fell, which made me feel more guilty. She remained quiet, with eyes downcast. "It must be hard to tell me this, I am certain," said Luna. "I always suspected Sister was hiding things from me. Some of it, I deserve. Until I realized it was time to push for a cultural revolution, I had been tormenting myself nightly with a creature borne from Nightmare, in order that never would I forget the terrible things I'd tried to do."

"That... wow. You told me about this before, but you never said it was related to Nightmare. That's kinda nuts," I said. "Sorry. But seriously, it is."

Luna nodded. "Yes, this I know, now. It has been difficult to forgive myself, but I have destroyed the beast I created within me, and I can actually feel pony again," she said. "Since the conflict began, I've also suspected my sister has found a way to manipulate a tiny portion of the dream realm so that I cannot find her there. I previously thought she held no power in the world of dreams, but a millennium is a long time for her to prepare for my return. Did I tell you that she removed my memories of the secret as well? We were able to restore them, given that my Night Guard realized what was missing. In truth, much of your lesson shall consist of unrelated material I had also been forced to forget upon my return."

"I... I actually know what she did to you. She told me—but not until after the vampony thing," I said. "She said it pained her terribly to do it, so I'm sure she was only looking out for your safety."

"I am certain that is the case, as well. Sister is simply doing what she thinks is right, as am I," said Luna.

"Um, actually... could I ask you another quick question?"

Princess Luna gently nodded, the starry field within her mantle rippling smoothly behind her.

"It's about the 'lovers' thing you said earlier," I said very quietly, as though somepony might hear us. "You aren't broken, but you seem to expect you'll, um, l-love me once you are?" I'm sure I was blushing like fire.

"Yes... but also, not quite. I already love you, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Meaning I, Princess Luna, love you, Twilight," she said, motioning back and forth with her hoof as though explaining it to a foal Pip's age. "I have had an insatiable crush on you ever since that first Nightmare Night after I regained my mantle, and as our friendship has grown it has deepened. I know we do not know one another well yet, so I did not tell you for fear of ruining our friendship. Given that these secrets will soon be known and our love be shared, it is natural for me to say it now. If a bit embarrassing," she added, with a blush of her own peeking out from beneath those pretty dark cheeks of hers.

Er, I mean 'pretty dark', not 'pretty cheeks'. I think.

I furrowed my brow. "I don't understand this. Why would you have a crush on me? It makes no sense." I did feel much the same about her as she felt about me, but not until I'd been corrupted. Even then, she's a beautiful alicorn princess who has no equal. Much like her sister, but... easier to fantasize about.

I would guess easier, I mean. I haven't tried. Honestly.

Luna seemed very surprised. "Why would I? Why would not I? You are a dear friend, we share common interests, you're beautiful and headstrong and amusing to be around..."

I sighed. "Cut the 'beautiful' lies. Princess Cadance already tried that on me."

Luna gasped. "My odds and bodkins. Cadance told me about this, but I suppose I did not fully believe her. My dear, sweet Twilight. You have no idea how others perceive you, do you? That is... it is so very sad, yet still noble, in some sense."

I tried not to listen, because tears were beginning to form. Luna could tell. We sat in silence for about half a minute, and then I realized there was something important I needed to ask her.

"Luna... are you starting a revolution and turning everypony into monsters just because you want to be intimate with me?" I whispered. "I can't believe that, but... I need to know."

Luna blushed again and looked nervously away. "To be fair, that is not the only reason, Twilight. I believe I would still be taking this path even did I not know you," she said. "Yet, it would be falsity to suggest that it is not a motivating factor... a significant one, to be fair." Now it seemed like she was going to cry.

I wanted to say something to help. "Okay, I'll just out and say it. I'm starting to think I have a crush on you as well, alright?" I admitted. "If you can stop this revolution, I'll still want to spent time with you. Including intimate time."

Luna smiled, but there was sadness marked by the rest of her face. "It is too late to stop now, and that is a good thing. You will love your release. Once you accept yourself for who you are, it is a very different world in which to live," she said. "It is wonderful, of this I have no doubt."

I couldn't argue with that, because it made perfect sense. But it still didn't mean any of this crap was 'right'. I took a deep sigh. "Okay. You can start the lesson now, if you want." Then I reached out and hugged her from a seated position, and she held me tightly in her legs. We kept up our embrace for at least a minute. I think we both shed a tear or two.

Finally, we broke apart. Luna smiled and rubbed her eyes. "Now, as I begin to recover from your most welcome physical contact I so desperately needed, and for which I deeply thank you, here is my tale. I shall do it in a narrative form, as this approach should make for a better read in your remarkable journal."

I simply nodded, and she began to tell her story.