I put up a bubble shield over the entire tree before sleeping.

Whatever that drink had in it, I fell asleep like a rock and didn't recall any dreams upon waking. Zecora woke me up after five hours to recast the shield spell, but I don't remember that either. I was a little groggy in the morning when I finally got up. I'm letting Spike sleep in right now. I hope he isn't having nightmares about the horror show we saw last night. Poor Spike. This whole mess isn't something anypony his age should have to endure.

I'm probably not going to be safe here for much longer. The fact that Rarity says she knew I was here all along isn't enough to convince me that it's true. She could easily have guessed that after watching Thunderlane leave the library (which is no doubt why Mac coltnapped him). And either Cadance or Luna could break my shield. No, wait—Cadance can't cast spells. Team Creepy's really hamstringing themselves with the horn business. I guess that's one thing we have going in our favor.

I need to work fast, which means ad-hoc checklists rather than preparing checklists by using my checklist preparation checklist, which I always prefer. So here's a hastily-assembled checklist of everything I think I need to do:

* Discuss Spike's visits with Rarity

* Research magical and medical treatments for eliminating my sex drive

* Work on improving the regression spell into a true vampony cure

* Check with Zecora on status of alchemical armaments

* Try to contact Pinkie Pie (carefully), maybe send Spike

* Develop a plan for locating and coltnapping my brother in Canterlot

* Make plans to mass-inform citizens about vamponies, if worst case happens

* Work with Zecora on a plan to contain vampony outbreak in Ponyville

* Get ponies on our side without Team Creepy finding out (i.e. Thunderlane)

* Check up on Thunderlane to see if he's okay, if at all possible

* Recruit the Cutie Mark Crusaders to keep tabs on Rarity and Mac

* Practice meditation with Zecora

* Research the spell Rarity cast on Thun-

Wait a minute.

Something isn't right here. Rarity doesn't have her horn... Then how did she cast the spell on Thunderlane? Dear Celestia, I was so distracted I didn't realize it at the time! Actually, she used her horn twice last night—once to cast the spell as demanded by Big Mac (or Orchard Blossom or whatever), and once to levitate the camera. Maybe more? That's all I remember.

Her horn couldn't have grown back that quickly. It's highly improbable that even vampony magic could cause that rate of regeneration, given the special nature of the osseous tissue that unicorn horns are composed of. Plus, I got a close enough look at her horn to see that what she was sporting was a fake. Under that fob must be a stumpy horn that isn't nearly long enough yet to act as a mana oscillatory cavity—she still has months to go. And you can't cast magic spells without a horn, or at least not those kinds of spells. I was able to cast dark magic through my eyes when I was trapped by my parents, but even then I still made use of my horn because the ounckse didn't completely divorce my connection to it (it just prevented the magic from collecting and exiting). I'm certain I can't cast dark magic without a horn.

Think, Sparkle. What did I actually see? Okay, I didn't see her cast the spell, but I did see Rarity's aura: the same shade of blue she's always had, except for that one time she was possessed by an evil book of magic (Spike says it was green then). I also saw her aura around the camera when she appeared to move it telekinetically. It wouldn't have been dark magic if her aura were normal, and it was normal.

Although, I think I remember seeing her face when her aura surrounded the camera, and I should have been able to see the second glow around her horn? I don't remember seeing her horn glow. I'm not a hundred percent on it, but I don't think her (fake) horn was glowing when she moved the camera.

When all of the rational possibilities have been eliminated, we have to begin considering the irrational possibilities. There must have been another unicorn present with the same aura as Rarity, and this was all some kind of an elaborate show for my benefit. But that doesn't make any sense! Oh, this is just going to drive me up the wall (figuratively). Actually, maybe literally too (not really, but almost).

Okay. I'm going to check on Zecora first, then wake Spike up and talk things over with him because I'm gonna go nuts if I keep ruminating.

Brief moment to write here after spending time with Pinkie, more on that shortly.

First, Zecora was sleeping in the basement. She can sleep standing up, which is a little creepy, but she seemed really exhausted. Maybe the experience last night took something out of her after all. The supplies look the same as the last time I checked them, so I think she's finished all of her planned batches.

I woke up Spike from some kind of nightmare he didn't want to talk about. He took the potion too, so hopefully Luna wasn't able to see into his dreams. I'm not convinced that Luna is our enemy, to be completely honest, but I trust her less than I do Pinkie Pie at present.

Spike didn't remember any further details, and he didn't have any new ideas. This horn thing is a real puzzler. One problem is I don't even know why they're lopping off horns in the first place. Initially it seemed like it had something to do with the mares relinquishing control to stallions? Or maybe it was just a sex thing? But that's not exactly productive when your wife is a powerful alicorn! I don't see the plus side to that tradeoff, but maybe there isn't anything rational about being a vampony in the first place (not surprising).

Spike and I did have that talk, however.

I opened with, "Tell me what's been going on, Spike."

"Please don't be mad Twilight," he whined.

I sighed. "I don't blame you for any of this. It's okay. I just want the truth."

Spike nodded. "Well, I accidentally bumped into Rarity several days ago. I was spying on her and she caught me, basically."

I frowned, which made Spike wince.

I tried to relax a little. "I'm sorry, Spike. I'm trying not to judge you; keep going."

"Okay. Well, we got to talking about everything, and she tried to convince me that Team Creepy was in the right. She made some pretty good arguments, mostly centered on friendship, but she wouldn't tell me any specifics," he said.

"I'm surprised she let you go, to be honest."

"I was too, but I think she was playing for a longer game. She told me I'd always be welcome to talk to her, and she wouldn't try to get any information out of me, but she wanted to see me on a daily basis if possible so we could... um..."

I bit my lip.

"...spend some quality time together. I knew she was just trying to win me over, but I was weak. I am weak, I mean."

"Like, kissing and stuff? Spike, was she... molesting you?"

Spike shrugged. "I guess technically, but I made her agree to boundaries, so neither of us were touching each other anywhere naughty."

My eyes widened. "Well, that's actually really mature of you. Ironically speaking, given that you were avoiding mature situations."

"Thanks. It took every ounce of courage I had to make the demand, though. And it slipped quite a bit over time. She made that plug for me, the one you found, and she made me wear it... Right before you showed up, I was really close to giving into her completely."

I nodded. "I appreciate you telling me the truth, Spike."

"It's okay that you wore it too, though. I'm sure Pinkie didn't give you much choice."

I shook my head. "She didn't, but ew gross I can't believe I was even touching something that had been inside you!!!" I said, trying and failing not to freak out. "Oh Pinkie Pie. What in Equestria are we going to do with you..."

That was about when I heard a soft ringing sound which we eventually figured out was somepony pounding on the shield. Pinkie Pie was outside. She looked as bright and cheerful as ever. I didn't see anypony else with her, but I figured it was likely that vamponies were waiting on the other side of the building for me to drop the shield. Zecora and Spike took watch on the balconies, and didn't see anypony else, so I dropped the shield long enough to let her in (then put it right back up).

Pinkie opened the front door and started marching forwards on her hind legs, waving her forelegs out in front of her with her eyes rolled back in her head.

"Braaaaaains..." she said, drooling all over the floor in the process (thanks Pinkie).

Spike yelped, jumped, and scurried under the table. But even I wasn't buying this act.

"Pinkie don't do that please," I said, holding a hoof to my forehead.

Pinkie fell to all fours and smiled. "But I need your brains to help figure out what to do next, Twilight! Or maybe that's my brains? Oh! You can use your brains on my brains," she volunteered.

I nodded. "Let's head downstairs."

"I knew she was kidding," said Spike, before bonking his head on the underside of the table. "Ow."

It didn't take long to get measurements. Zecora and Spike watched as I strapped Pinkie into the electroencephalogram and cast a few spells.

"This is very interesting. There is a difference, but it's small," I said. "I am showing decreased activity in one small region of the prefrontal cortex, and unusually elevated levels of dopamine and GABA in the general vicinity."

"Is gabba what makes me talk so much?" asked Pinkie.

I chuckled. "No, it's almost the opposite. It's the dominant inhibitory neurotransmitter, so it has an effect similar to imbibing ethyl alcohol."

Pinkie raised a brow in confusion.

"Hard cider."

"Ohhhhhhh," she said.

"But not really! It has a bunch of different functions in the brain and most of them have nothing to do with drunkenness," I said. "Anyway, the important thing is that I'm detecting signs of a lesion or intrusion in part of the prefrontal cortex, which is consistent with what my mother told me the box does."

"Is that bad?" asked Spike.

I sighed. "I think so, yes. It's technically a sort of brain damage, but at least it isn't wanton. It's highly focused on one particular area of the brain. We don't know enough about how the pony brain works to predict what it might be doing, which is highly disconcerting..."

"Why is that?" asked Pinkie.

I exchanged a knowing glance with Zecora, and she spoke for us both. "Though ancient, this technology is not primitive as can be. Far in the past, some things were known, but lost to time these truths have grown."

"Exactly. The technology necessary to make the stone is beyond what we currently possess in modern society," I explained. "Whoever made these artifacts appears to have known more about biology than we know today, which means that knowledge—and perhaps an entire civilization—has been lost to the sands of time."

"And if Team Creepy has access to that technology, then they're an even bigger threat?" said Spike.

"Yes. We really don't know what to expect. I'm hoping Princess Celestia can shed some light on this, but we don't have a reliable way to contact her," I said. "If she's been imprisoned in the Crystal Empire, anything I send her will be intercepted, and we have almost no scrolls here to use anyway. I have one blank scroll I kept for emergency purposes which I'm considering using to get access to more scrolls. Then I might do some tests to see if we can communicate."

"A two-way window would be best, if the magic you could invest," said Zecora.

"If you can put together a way to communicate with Celestia, that would be perfect," I said.

Zecora pursed her lips in thought. "I believe I have a plan. Tomorrow you will understand." She started digging through her materials, and I unbuckled Pinkie Pie.

"I really really really really really really really want you to join us though, Twilight," said Pinkie Pie. "Sooner or later you need to start sucking lots of stallion cock like a good filly!"

I ignored that. Spike, Pinkie, and I walked upstairs.

"Pinkie, I need you to try to remember something for me. Rarity's horn is a fake, right?" I asked.

Pinkie squinted for a moment. "Hmmmm. Oh! Yes! She took it off later that evening after your amulet broke, which happened right after she put it on the stone."

"What was underneath the fake horn?"

"A small nub, maybe 'yea' long?" said Pinkie, motioning with her hooves. The size she indicated was at most three centimeters. "She filed it down a little but not much. It still looks kind of stumpy, which seems like a 'fashion don't' to me but I'm not the expert."

"That's what I thought. There's no way she can perform magic with a horn that small. And I agree about the fashion thing: the Rarity I know would file it down symmetrically if she weren't batshit crazy," I said. "Pinkie, is there any chance you can ask Rarity about it today and bring back that information?

Pinkie Pie clacked her shoes nervously against the flooring. "She probably won't tell me. I did get some information from her, but Big Mac said the horn stuff is private, so you're not supposed to know. Even if I did know, I probably wouldn't want to tell you. Nothing personal!"

"Hay, at least you're honest," said Spike.

"What information did you get that you can tell us?" I asked. "Try to be as precise as possible."

"Sure! Well, Rarity had her tongue all the way up my coo—"

"NOT that precise," I interjected. "Sorry. Let's just start general."

Pinkie giggled. I could tell she was enjoying this at my expense, but what choice did I have?

"Okay, spoilsport. Well, Rarity told me about how the plan has been changing over time," she said, sitting on the cushions and patting the spot next to her.

"That sounds important," said Spike, taking a seat.

I sighed and took a seat myself, already worried Pinkie was leading us both into a session of tonsil-hockey and grotesque, unsanitary fluid exchanges. "Go on."

"Apparently, Shining Armor and Princess Cadance at first thought they could have a vampony revolution across both kingdoms and everything would be some kind of utopia, but that turned out to be super-duper unrealistic," she said. "So they've had to get increasingly secretive and take things much slower than they wanted, and that's relevant to Rarity because she's doing the accessories."

"And the accessories reflect that in some way?" I asked.

Pinkie nodded. "The shoes aren't as heavy, the sieves on the weighted wing-clips are removable and probably won't be used much, and she's been making custom false horns that slip over the base of a broken horn."

"And the earrings are smaller," noted Spike, pointing at my ears. I suddenly became aware of the insistent tugging of the tiny but weighty fashion accessories, and it made me feel uncomfortable. It was like Rarity was there, holding my ears, reminding me she had me.

"What's the point of the wing-clips without the sieves?" I asked.

"Well, the main purpose is to 'inhibit the wolf from coming out', or something. I guess they prevent pegasus wings from turning into bat wings? That would be useful because the flowers only last a few days." Pinkie giggled. "And as a cunt, I'm not supposed to be in control of the change."

That word made me feel even more uncomfortable, but I tried my best to hide it. "Huh. Okay, that's interesting. Does chopping off one's horn prevent the vampony change for bloodhorns?"

Pinkie shook her head. "Nope! Rarity can totally change, but it makes the fake horn pop off, because the base gets thicker and all red."

"Why in Tartarus are horns are getting cut off at all, then?" I pondered aloud.

"Because it's sexy?" said Pinkie Pie. "I think it is, at least. I don't have much of a horn myself." Pinkie rubbed the smooth surface of her forehead with her hoof.

"Oh, maybe that cap Cadance has stops the change," said Spike.

"That's a reasonable hypothesis, Spike. But we don't have a lot to go on right now, so I don't know how we can confirm any of this except through Pinkie. And she's just getting what Rarity feeds her," I said.

"Oh, I eat things on my own too. Especially sugar!"

"Not what she meant Pinkie," said Spike, beating me to the punch.

"But I like sugar?" she said, pouting.

"Focus, Pinkie. Is there anything else you learned from Rarity that you haven't told us?"

Pinkie sat for a few moments, muzzle scrunched up in thought. "I don't think so. Oh! I asked about the different materials. The steel and silver ones are for ponies who don't have a permanent Master. It means they're 'on the market', sorta."

"Does that mean Big Macintosh isn't Rarity's Master?" asked Spike.

"No, it means she's temporarily his," said Pinkie. "He has to do like quintuple-duty because there are so few vamponies in Ponyville right now. He might not even be my Master forever, but I'm still a good fit as his property so I have copper instead of steel."

"Few vamponies? That's useful information. If it's just the four of you—"

"Five, Twi. Thunderlane," said Spike.

"Well, we don't know if he's been compromised entirely yet," I said.

"Oh, he's been reeeeeally compromised," said Pinkie Pie, with a big wink. I think I blushed. Spike definitely did.

"Uh, I don't think that's what she means, Pinkie," said Spike. "We don't know if Thunderlane is totally on the vamponies' side or not."

"Well of course he is!" said Pinkie Pie. "Anypony else would be except for Twilight. She's the only pony silly enough to play this resisting-the-inevitable game."

"It's not a game," I said, bitterly.

"If you say so," said Pinkie Pie. "But wait, there are some more. I overheard something that makes me think Caramel might be now, but I don't know for sure. I'm pretty sure the Cakes are, too, but they hide it from me, probably because Mac told them to. And Granny Smith. So that makes, let's see, carry the five—at least eight, maybe nine."

I shuddered. "That poor old mare. The last thing somepony that age needs is this disgusting mess," I said. "She deserves some dignity in her golden years."

"Pfft!" said Pinkie Pie. "Dignity is SO overrated. But yeah, that's pretty much all I know. Big Macintosh is probably going to debrief me soon, not to mention depanty me, and I'll know more afterwards. But I'm pretty sure that's all I can share with you unless you want to become a vampony." Pinkie pulled some of my mane into her hoof and nuzzled it, inhaling gently.

"I'm sorry Pinkie," I said, pulling away from her. "I'm doing everything I can to stop this madness. You'll thank me for it someday."

"That's what Rarity says! I don't know which one of you is right, but my bits are on her," said Pinkie Pie. "Also, Twilight, I might not be allowed to come back here for a while, so just remember your friends love you and miss you, okay?" She looked up to me with puppy-dog eyes (that's a figure of speech) and I instantly felt bad for trying to do anything to separate us. Nonetheless, that feeling doesn't change the reality of our situation. It might be a cold war at the moment, but it's a war, and for the sake of Equestria I must prevail.

(I keep telling myself that, at least.)

Pinkie told us she had to leave to meet with Rarity, so I let her out of the bubble and she left.

"Now what?" said Spike.

"I need time to think and do research, Spike. You can help me out with some of it," I said, and then I spontaneously hugged him. He hugged me back very tightly. "I'm going to get as much research done today as I can, then I'll decide if I should stay here any longer. I can't tell Pinkie Pie my plans..."

"What are they? Er, if you want to tell me, I mean. I won't tell Rarity. I won't even visit her if you say so, but that's unbelievably hard."

I nodded. "Try not to see her at all, Spike. Please. Once Rarity finds out that you responded to the hoofgoo, she might infect you. And then I'll have one fewer friend left."

"I'll never stop being your friend, sis," said Spike, and he hugged me again. "And I'll try to stay in the tree."

"That's all I can ask. So, on to the plan. I'm going to try to kidnap Shining Armor and lecture some sense into him," I said. "Also I'm going to try to find Dash, because she's a powerful ally. Additionally, I need to evaluate the strength of Canterlot's defense forces and find out how deeply the vamponies have infected the guard."

"So you're headed to Canterlot, I guess?"

I nodded. "Looks like it. But before I leave, I'm going to try to turn the situation here a little bit more in our favor. I'll contact some ponies I can trust, and do it surreptitiously enough that the vamponies won't be able to catch on this time."

Spike nodded, and we both stood up and went to work.

I spent several hours researching various topics, but came up empty-hoofed. In particular, none of the books I keep here refer to any possibility of casting spells without a horn. There are all sorts of laws (severe ones I didn't even know about) that prevent one pony from ever touching another pony's horn, even if it has been detached. Horns that break off are supposed to be shattered and incinerated, apparently. I guess I've never heard of that because a complete horn fracture is incredibly rare (usually it's just a crack, so they splint it and it can mend).

Spike is napping and Zecora wants to talk to me, so I'll probably continue writing this entry afterwards.

Dammit. This last wonderful hiccup in the string of disasters that has become my life needs its own entry.