This is the reconstruction of Day 43 (Encampment) which was ripped out of my journal. I began reconstruction of this entry on Day 47.48 I completed reconstruction on Day 47 .48

Post-hoc: I realize what a mess this has been since I can't reorganize the order that these pages appear in. More than half of the pages in this journal remain unused, so I think it might be wise for me to leave extra space after each entry so I can add comments or corrections or whatever. So I'm going to start doing that now.

We set up camp for the evening. I wasn't able to help much at all because I was still recovering, so we didn't move anywhere for the rest of the day except to the shelter area. Pinkie and Spike did a great job of locating shelter in a small grove of trees, and even built a lean-to. It wasn't critical because no weather had been planned for today, but I think keeping us hidden from pegasi above is probably for the best given the circumstances.

Oh, the injuries, I almost forgot. Pinkie had a slight limp and some minor abrasions to her rear legs and barrel, but her limping leg was already somewhat better by nightfall and hardly noticeable by morning. I think she was trying to make it not show, though, to make us worry less. I had some cracked front teeth (ow) and the left side of my face was really scratched up badly, but my friends had taken care of my face with a poultice while I was unconscious. I've repaired the teeth partially with magic (really just deadened the nerve endings) but they still look painful. I doubt anypony will say anything about them to my face since most ponies are kind of self-conscious about appearances, and anypony who knows me knows I wouldn't be in pain from a small injury like this. (I should really learn more medical spells, however.) Spike was bruised and banged up all over, but nothing serious. He was holding together like a little trooper.

Once again, I noticed that Spike is much more mature than I'd taken him for. I can't imagine a eleven year-old of any race would be as mature as Spike is now, let alone a eleven year-old dragon! He's come a long way from the nine year-old I brought with me to Ponyville. Unfortunately, it's probably because he's had to grow up in such a short space of time with all the life-or-death crap he suffers by being my friend.

My friends get a raw deal. I guess someponies have to be The Saviors but I sometimes feel like it's my fault that we can't have normal lives, and they never really signed up for this. Not that I did either, but it shouldn't be anypony's burden other than mine. (Okay, okay, I can already hear my friends telling me to stop wearing the lead tiara.)

Post-hoc: Look, there's something I put in the journal here last time I wrote this entry, but it's kind of silly and I don't think it's appropriate anymore...

Ugh. The perfectionist in me requires I keep the record correct. At least this part of it. So I guess I'll repeat it so I can at least have a clean conscience. This thing I'm about to mention isn't something I abuse a lot or plan to abuse a lot, I'm just leaving some room for privacy. That's okay, right? This is a private journal but Princess Celestia will read it, and I'm not trying to hide anything from her but,

Nevermind, just... here.

Okay, I need to say something now, just to be perfectly accurate about this journal. To avoid over-writing things and partly as a rarely-needed privacy filter, I must now make this statement.

Anything written after this point in the journal may have details or even some entire-things-that-happened removed.

You can assume these things are of no consequence to the message that this journal now serves to convey about the pod-pony mess we've gotten ourselves into.

So that's that: my blanking of this... thing, has been documented.

Post-hoc: Since I wrote the above thing (more or less) several entries previous to where it now appears, note that I'm referencing this point in the journal chronologically. As in, this applies to some entries that precede this one in journal order after the rewrite. But no, that doesn't really matter much since I think I've only used it here so far, so don't worry about it.

All three of us went to sleep hungry. (We had ample water, but Pinkie and Spike wasted all the food on me, and apparently they had both regurgitated everything after landing on terra firma.) We were still in good enough shape that after a decent night's sleep we'd easily be able to make it to Sweet Apple Acres in a few hours and steal some apples (given the situation, AJ certainly would support us).

After... Wait, let me restart that. Spike went to sleep just like you'd imagine. Pinkie Pie and I spent some time talking about sexual matters. Specifically, she wanted to know if I could use, like, some... experiences to help me out, since my naivete seems to have worked against me. So there may have been some of that.

It wasn't anything big though. She wanted to kiss me, but I was against the idea. We did, um... we masturbated together, and she showed me how to do it better, and she helped me not be as embarrassed about it. I didn't reach an orgasm though, partly because I was so exhausted at the time from the injuries and all. It was difficult for me to do that, but it was a good thing we did it so I'm not ashamed of it or anything. Pinkie also taught me that it's okay to do that sort of thing and enjoy it even if you don't have an orgasm, and that's really nice to know.

Also she gave me a nice massage and it kind of got a little sexual when she was rubbing my, um, my butt. I mean, it made me a little horny but we stopped and I was able to cool down afterwards. We may have cuddled a little. Okay, a lot. That's not weird or wrong though. We went to sleep curled up together, with Spike too (again, not wrong, it was only for warmth okay) and it felt nice to be comfortable and close with my friends. That's all.

In the morning we got up, and I'm writing this entry now (i.e. wrote it originally). Even though I didn't want to feel this way and even though I didn't orgasm from the sex or even kiss her, I got that wonderful feeling from being close to Pinkie Pie, mostly the cuddling part. I just don't understand how love works yet. When you settle on somepony to, like, be with them forever, does that turn off all the other loving feelings you have toward other ponies? Not the sexual ones, but the emotional want-to-be-with-forever feelings, I mean. It must. It would just have to, for anything in society to make any sense. I'm curious how it works, though (from an endocrinological and psychological perspective of course).

Post-hoc: Most of my feelings and questions from this point still apply. I don't really understand love at all, but I'm starting to get the hang of sex. Er, the idea behind sex and how it is executed and stuff, I mean. I know I'm starting to feel deep things for a lot of ponies, though, and that worries me.

I was also really, really horny while writing this and so I, um, I had to "y'know", and I had my third orgasm (though I don't think most ponies count every orgasm they have in their lives, but this is still new to me). I've cleaned up the best I can though there's nowhere to shower or anything here in this warehouse.

I'm going to finish the last entry rewrite and then head out, as it's nearing twilight (the time, not me or Mom).

Shit. I'm going to regret this, but I've given up all hope of pretending to work within the law at this point. Honesty has to come first, if Applejack's Element really means anything to me.

After a discussion with Spike, I've agreed to add the details of what really happened that night to this entry. I can't do it here, however, because there isn't enough space. The information is after all the Day 49 stuff.

Yes, I know it's illegal beyond all bounds, but I also know Princess Celestia has few influential friends that she can trust right now (this is not extortion it is just a fact), and I know she's probably kind and wise enough (okay, that might be flattery) to see that things happened the way they did for the best and we can't be blamed for some of the details. If she can't see that, then maybe I really did choose the wrong side of this conflict (also a fact, though a very sad one).

I hope this finds you well, Princess.

Please forgive me, because I cannot.