idea how exhausted I was from the ordeal.

I woke up in the afternoon. The cover had worked to conceal me, apparently. I had already started writing out this entry, but before I could finish, Pinkie Pie and Spike returned and gathered next to the bushes at the base of my tree. Apparently they were waiting for me to wake up so we could catch up on progress.

"How ya doin'?" whispered Pinkie Pie. "You look a heckuva lot better than before, though your mane's still kind of a mess."

"I'm feeling a lot better, thanks. And as much as I'd love to comb my mane, it's really not very high on my to-do list right now," I said. "What did you two find out?"

Spike looked nervous. "Something weird is going on, that's for sure. I think Big Macintosh is in on the whole thing, but that's not much of a surprise since he and Fluttershy have been together for almost a year—"

"WHAT?" I whisper-shouted, causing Pinkie and Spike to cringe. "Sorry. I mean, a whole year? When the hay did it become a year? Rainbow said it was a few months," I explained, feeling left out. Not exactly my brightest moment, but come on! How could nopony tell me this?

"Um, Twilight," said Pinkie Pie, "Rainbow kind of under-exaggerated just a little so you wouldn't feel so bad. But yeah, it's been about eight months or so. Maybe nine by now."

I rolled my eyes in frustration. "Okay, whatever. Back to Spike's report."

"Right," said Spike. "I didn't want word to travel that I'm back in town because that might alert the bad guys, whoever they are. So I kept a low profile, like you recommended. Anyway, first off I got close enough to AJ's house to see Big Macintosh dragging a bunch of unusual tools and supplies into his barn, like, engineering stuff. Pipes, hoses, chains, that sort of thing."

Pinkie Pie and I exchanged a worried glance.

Spike continued, "Then I went by the Crusaders' treehouse. I felt bad about eavesdropping on them, but nothing weird was going on, just three fillies obsessed with getting their cutie marks, as always. I was going to make a beeline for our place, but I don't think I can make it to the library without being spotted during the day. Plus, I'll want to stay there once I make it in, at least long enough to have a comfortable nap. You're not the only one who's exhausted, Twilight."

"Yeah, I thought the same thing about staying in hiding," said Pinkie Pie. "But maybe it would make more sense to pretend the two of us came back early, and just go about our normal business? I'm not good at poker, but I have a great poker face!"

"You're kidding. Tell me she's kidding," Spike asked me.

"Pinkie Pie, you have a terrible poker face! Every time you think you have a good hoof, your face lights up like a Hearth's Warming tree!" I said.

"Whaaaaaaat?" Pinkie Pie said. "But I did pretty well the first time we all played! Until Dashie ran me out of chips."

"Urrrgh. That's because you think a pair of deuces is a good hoof! Rainbow Dash was the first pony to figure out how useless your tell was. Well, except that it does let us know when your hoof is completely awful," I said.

"Awwww," said Pinkie, pouting.

"It's okay, Pinkie. I'm not good at poker either. And neither is Twilight," said Spike, scowling at me.

I rolled my eyes, yet again. "I'm not saying I'm good at poker. I'm saying if Pinkie Pie talks to the wrong ponies, she'll raise suspicion," I said, then lowered my voice as I realized my whispering had been getting progressively louder. The vampire fruit bat field is a pretty ironic place to hide given the whole vampony thing, but the trees here are generally sapped so it seems pretty unlikely Big Mac will walk this far out when there's other work to be done. That doesn't mean we can afford to start taking meaningless chances.

"Anyway," I said, "did you figure out anything, Pinkie?"

She pursed her lips. "Maybe. I snuck into town because I'm pretty good with disguises..."

I opened my mouth to complain, and Spike slapped his claws over my mouth. I'm glad they didn't go in. Spike's claws are even more nimble than an earth pony's manumancy (which is what makes him an excellent note-taker), but they're a lot dirtier than your average pony's hooves. And he doesn't even walk on them most of the time! Little colts, I swear.

"...and I noticed one irregular thing, but it's probably not important. There was a substitute teacher at the schoolhouse, so Cheerilee must be sick or on vay-cay or stay-cay or maybe even just regular-type cay," she said. "Also Mr. Cake caught me outside in the bushes next to Sugarcube Corner and asked what was going on, but I told him it wasn't me so my cover's still good."

Sometimes two hooves is simply not enough facehoof, and I lack the athletic limberness of... well, every single one of my best friends, to be honest; so the front ones are all I have to work with. Fortunately, Spike's claws were still on my mouth, and I think that gave me what Rainbow Dash once referred to as a "three-count facehoof c-c-c-combo".

"Well, that's it. We should assume our cover is blown," I said, pushing Spike's arm away. "Pinkie, I think you should go back to work, but your story is that you came back early because you weren't feeling well but now you're better. Being you, I don't think any explanation for the bushes is necessary."

Pinkie Pie narrowed her gaze, and appeared nonplussed. No, wait, that's a terrible word because it can mean two almost completely opposite things, which is stupid. I should forget that word. Why do ponies even use that word? Anyway, I meant she looked confused and a bit stunned, but she was probably just thinking.

"Okay. If that's all I have to work with," she said.

"Well, that's what you get, unless you guys can come up with a better one," I said. "Look, I actually don't think ponies are going to ask many questions about your trip, Pinkie. As long as you can pretend you were ill on the trip so you didn't see much apart from the castle and the library, you should be semi-safe."

"Twi, I know you're the brain here, but wouldn't it be safer for both of us to keep hiding for now?" asked Spike.

"He has a point," said Pinkie Pie. "I would kind of like to not be a pod pony anytime soon. At the very least, I'd like a huge pod pony party beforehoof."

I nervously bit at my lower lip. "Well, you should keep hiding, Spike. You're smaller, and much stealthier at night as a result. And actually, I need you to go to the library tonight and grab several scrolls as well as that book I mentioned and bring them back here. But it wouldn't make sense for Pinkie Pie to hide, because I have an important assignment for her and there's no way she can do it undercover without raising suspicion."

At this point, I went into great detail about the prophecy of the Six Keys of Friendship, which I've already described previously so there's no reason to rehash the details.

"I need Pinkie to search everypony's houses to try and find what we're looking for. I think all six of us need to be there to turn the keys, but not to transmute them. Or evoke them, I'm not certain which is more correct here because the story wasn't entirely clear," I said to blank stares. I guess I was geeking out a little there. I continued, "Now, if Pinkie Pie can safely get to the Tree of Harmony, which should be no problem this time of year on a sunny day, she can try to produce the five keys that I'm already reasonably certain exist. Each one of us had a valuable and personal friendship lesson recently."

"Oh oh oh oh oh! Mine is totally Boneless!" said Pinkie Pie. I shushed her.

"Er, come again?" asked Spike.

"I mean it's the rubber chicken," she said. "The one I got from Cheese Sandwich. It was all rainbow-y when I saw it, too! Maybe the other key items look that way?"

I paused. "That's a pretty weird key item, but you're probably right on the money, Pinkie. Anyway, do what you can to transmute or evoke them all," I said. Again, blank stares.

"So..." Pinkie Pie asked.

"Hold the items near the box. Try holding them on all sides," I said. "Oh, and get Zecora in on all this as soon as ponily possible. She's almost as resourceful as Princess Celestia."

"Will do," Pinkie promised. Well, not a Pinkie Promise promise, but I trust her with my life anyway.

Spike looked puzzled. "I could try to find your item in the library while I'm there, I suppose. What was your recent lesson, Twilight? Do you know what your item might be?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No idea. I may not have had my lesson yet," I said. "But if Pinkie can confirm which items actually work, that would give me a lot of information on what to expect for the Key of Magic. I mean, the Keys aren't named, but they obviously correspond to the elements."

"Okie-dokie-lokie! That I can do. But what about you, Twilie?" Pinkie asked.

I shuddered. "Please, for the love of Celestia, do not call me that right now. Or maybe ever again."

"Sorry, Twil— um, I mean, Twi," Pinkie Pie said, frowning. I tried my best to smile. I really hate being an overbearing mare like this.

"I'll wait here. Spike can head into the library after twilight falls—"

Pinkie gasped. "Twilight, you should be more careful!"

"Pinkie Pie, please stop talking," I said curtly. She grimaced. I felt bad, but I had no time for her usually entertaining and always perplexing shenanigans.

"Sorry. Anyway, then Spike will bring the book and scrolls back to me. Don't try to go looking for my item now, because the scrolls are priority one. Once I have them, I'll send Celestia an emergency warning, and then I'm off for Canterlot the hard way," I said. "That book can't possibly be my item so it should be safe to take with me."

"The hard way? You're not crazy enough to try that trick again, are you?!" Spike asked.

I shook my head. "Well, I am crazy enough, yes. And skilled enough. But I'm still too exhausted to make it the whole way, and I'm concerned that having just eaten a huge meal on an empty stomach might prove even more dangerous than an empty stomach itself was. So I'll take it slow and steady, under natural wingpower," I said. "I can make it in a day pretty easily. I'm rested, and I have travel rations now thanks to you two, so I can leave as soon as Spike gets back."

Pinkie Pie raised her hoof.

"I'm sorry for getting on your case Pinkie," I said, and reached forward to hug her.

Pinkie cheered up almost immediately and hugged me back nice and tight. "It's okay! I can be annoying," she said. (Now I felt even worse.) "But I was wondering, Twilight: what should we do if, um, something bad happens?"

I paused for a moment to consider the possibility. "I don't know," I said. "If I'm not here when Spike returns, it's because I had no choice but to leave, because I need those scrolls. In that case Spike should send a detailed letter to Celestia. In fact, Spike, send off a very brief warning to Celestia as soon as you get home, but then come back. Just something saying we can't trust Luna or the Crystal Royals and things are very dire and Twilight Sparkle is on the way."

Spike nodded solemnly. "I'll make it quick, then come right back."

"Even if I did have to leave, which I won't, I'm probably okay. I'm rested, fed, pissed as hell, and the most powerful spellcaster for kilometers around," I said, allowing myself a little bragging after the success of the Twiliport Loop. "As for you guys, well... Spike should try to hide if anything goes down. Pinkie Pie, and I admit I cannot believe I am actually saying these words, I think you should use your best judgment."

"I'll wing it like my name was Rainbow Dash!" she said, and grinned. "Except it's not, actually. My name is Pinkie Pie. Pinkamena Diane Pie, to be precise."

I looked confused. "It's true," Spike said.

"What in the name of Equestria is a Diane?" I asked.

"No idea! My mom just thought it sounded funny, I guess," said Pinkie. "Then again, I think I read something about it in a book on the moon, so maybe Luna would know?"

I corrected Pinkie on her failure to use the subjunctive mood with her Rainbow Dashness comment. Then I apologized yet again for being a dork.

Pinkie and Spike have headed off in a similar direction. Spike will be waiting at the edge of the Acres for night to fall, and Pinkie is going back to Sugarcube Corner to explain her absence and reappearance. She'll tackle the box early enough in the morning that maybe it won't look like she's breaking into everypony's houses. As for me, I'm keeping alert. If Spike brings me the book, it will likely help, but the scrolls are far more important and the journal is absolutely essential. Since my brother finally spilled the entire can of beans, the last few pages of this book contain everything Princess Celestia should need to know to fight back in time.

Actually, I should probably make a note at the beginning of the journal to jump to the second entry before this one.

Okay, done. Just a failsafe.

It's almost twilight now. Er, I mean the time, not me. It's always me.

(I'm starting to realize that Pinkie Pie is more infectious than a vampony, and I love her for it. Er, not that way. Not that there's anything wrong with that, heh.)

In the meantime, I have maybe an hour left to rest be/\__--.